[Music] Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and children of all ages, welcome back to Movie Torture. I'm Roger, one of the hosts here who hasn't been around in the while. The guys decided that, you know, I wasn't good enough to record anymore, so they decided they, what's the one night of the week that Roger can't record? Yeah, let's do it on Mondays. That's that. Roger, in our defense, my friend, we have recorded on Mondays many a time. That's been a long standing tradition here at the movie Tortures. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll let something spiritual get in the way. Yeah, the boss men at the Hope Cast tell us we have to record on Mondays, but today we're recording on a Tuesday. The boss is pretty strict. Yeah, he's pretty strict. So is the the guy at the Hope Network, is he a cousin of a movie producer guy? Producer Gary, oh no, movie producer, you're like, I need that movie, movie podcast, and he used to be recorded on Monday. It's good to have you back, Roger. We miss you. MTV leaps every episode you're not here. That's, no, that's Hannah. What Hannah's not here. Yeah, and he has a new favorite, though, Roger. I don't, have you potted, have you been on the same episode, have you been on the same show with Second Lady of Movie Torture, Ashley yet? I have not. Okay, well, she's moved up in the ranks. She's up there now. She's fine. And by the way, that voice you don't hear, that's MTV. He is in the chats, I would suspect, because he was texting me a minute ago going, are we, are we, are we on yet? Are we, you know, let me see. I'm going to say, hey, MTV and see if he responds. Jacob, what's happening to my man? Uh, not a whole lot. You know, it's nice, balmy, nice and summery weather out here. We're doing great. It's cold listeners. If you're listening right now, it's 25 degrees where I'm at right now. And I'm in a garage with no air conditioning. So yeah, that's my current situation, but that's how much that, that Hopecast wants us to put out. This is one of the number one shows on the Hopecast network. Just dropping that out there for listeners. We're, we're, we're one of the most number one downloaded shows, which is pretty cool. Yeah, people, we, the great towel. Yeah, it's, it's, we've lost a lot of downloads since Roger hasn't been on though. So maybe it's a trend. Yeah, I wonder as the audience is the audience now more Minnesota people or more North Carolina. I don't know. That's a good question. I think the audience likes to tune in to see you fall asleep during the show. I think that's what they're real mode of it. I've never fell on the sleep during the show. We need you in the chats right now. Does Roger sleep or look like he's sleeping during the show? So I do have, I do have the, the age not thing or sometimes my eyes are like really, you know, barely open. No, no, no, that's like with MTD when I was a kid. I'd say, are you sleeping, dad? He'd be like, I'm not sleeping, I'm real. I get that now. I like the rest of my, my kids the same way. Roger Jacob, if they're listening, we want you to like and subscribe. Follow us on iTunes, Spotify, leave us a review. MTD says, I've missed Roger. He has missed you, Roger. And we now, we now have a hope cast merch store. So if you're listening right now and you like some of our inside jokes that we have on the show, go to the merch store. You can see what we have to sell. We have one of my favorites, Roger, is producer Gary. That's one of my favorites. You get him in a cowboy hat. I mean, I have to say the same thing. The only thing that's missing is my high school picture with my long flowing locks. Well, you send that to me and we'll have a shirt on the garage. I would like to get my hands on that. Send me that and we're going to put Roger's long flowing locks. And I'm going to wear it. I would just wear it around just to say, hey, this is what I look like when I have hair. I want to get one of Gary just to rock around like, you know, when I come back to North Carolina, I want to have that Gary shirt on. Just to just to promote Gary. Yeah, listeners, you can't see this. But Gary in the chat last night said to us, is it a power move? If I buy a shirt with my face on it and give it to everyone in my family for Christmas. Yes. I think that's a solid power move. That is a power move. Yeah, that's a power move. We got a lot of that is what's needed. And what would be even better is for him to autograph on the t-shirt like in the corner of the picture or something and then give that to us very much. Oh my goodness. That's what I've done that. I've done that, Roger. I've done that move. I might pull it out again. We've got a Christmas party. I might just wrap it up and give it to somebody. MTD says, I must admit, I think Roger has fallen asleep. No, I've done the I think like this. I can still see, but it looks like I'm eyes are closed. Yeah, I used to get in trouble in college all the time. No, it's like Mr. Edwards. I'd say I'm awake. I'm awake. So if anyone listening has an idea, go into the Instagram, dropping them in the messages, what kind of shirt you would like us to have. And because I'm thinking we should come up with Minnesota Jacob, just like a Minnesota Jacob shirt. Just say right across the front is Minnesota Jacob. Even though Roger said last time he's now the, what did you say, Roger? It's funny. He said, I said, I'm Jacob, Carolina Jacob, when I did. No, I, yeah, you did say that. You said, no, I'm just normal Jacob. You became the Carolina Jacob. Yeah, yeah. Oh, good time. So what movie are we doing today, Jacob? Do you have a, do you have an intro for this movie? I do. Do you want my intro that I made? I want to hear it. The ladies love that. Listen. All right. The one or two of them. Yeah. Actually in Hannah. All right. Let's look in at M.T.D. Brad, Roger, and Jacob as they're dressed in their very best Elvis outfits to go to Vegas to be cruel, but they don't want to sing the jailhouse rock. Let's jump in to 3,000 miles to Graceland. I love jailhouse rock, but you made me hate it with that. Who would be the coolest Elvis of us four? Not me. I think I think I might be the coolest Elvis of us four at this point. I think I might be I would be the shortest one. I think M.T.D. would be a good old Elvis. Like, you know, many Elvis. I would be a good ad hit the end of his career office. I would like to just walk around a casino in an Elvis. Elvis jumpsuit going, oh, oh, Oh, that's what I like to do. What did I do sling blade while I did Elvis at that point? Mmm, fried potatoes. Wait, Jacob, you've never seen that movie though. That's the only thing I've ever seen a sling blade. It's never seen sling blade. It's that piece where it's like, mmm, yeah, give us a little fried potatoes. Can we tell we know French fried potatoes? I need to see him. I need to see him. M.T.D., have you seen sling blade? Roger, have you seen sling blade? I don't know if I'll watch the whole movie all the way through. Oh, it's great, man. Oh, M.T.D. comes through, man. He says, "I'm Colonel Parker." You would be a good Colonel Parker. You're the Colonel. You're like half Colonel to midget Elvis. Haltberg, Hoto. I imagine sling blade is much better than this masterpiece. Oh gosh, sling blade is a masterpiece. This one, we got a lot to unpack in this movie. First off, M.T.D., did you happen to catch the budget for this movie? Did you find a budget for this movie? One of my faves. He says, and why he's looking, he says sling blade is one of his faves. He's seen it many times. Everybody talks to me things about it. When he's having a good day, he's like, "Let's turn on the sling blade." It's got the murder weapon in it, just like I gave to Voorhees back in '84. As he looks, this movie, sling blade is great. He's still on the sling blade thing. He's not coming up with the budget, but I want to know the budget of this, because this movie is packed with big name stars. It is. It's one of the best, like, oh, 62 million was the budget for this movie. I mean, it did have your favorite actress in it, Courtney Cox. Oh my gosh, man. I cannot stand Courtney Cox in a movie. She actually was attractive in this one. It's still a few, but she was so trashy, though, trashy, waitress. This is a pre-botox and plastic addiction surgery. You don't think she'd had Botox at this point or any plastic surgery in 2001? She looked really young. What did they spend the 62 million on? Like, who made more Kurt Russell or Kevin Costner? Kevin Costner, I bet, made more. But maybe as behind he says, maybe kind of the same, because there were both pretty big people at that point. Were they? I feel like they both had peaked at that point in the early 2000s. Yeah, like I'm still going to get paid. Oh, there's, I guess they're still getting paid. Christian Slater was big, David Arquette was coming off. Oh, man, he was coming off ready to rumble. He's like, I was in ready to rumble. I'm going to do 3000 miles to Graceland. Go ahead. I was going to say the title alone is cool. It is. It gives you height. It does get you height. You're like, oh, I like Elvis. 3000 miles, although I don't think it's 3000 miles to Graceland from Memphis. I mean, from Las Vegas. No, it's worse to the boat. But they couldn't call it 1,942 miles to Graceland. No. What is the, what is the mileage from Vegas to Graceland? I'm going to check that out while y'all, while y'all guys talk about this movie for a minute. I mean, we do get to start off with, as in the opening credits, this epic mechanical scorpion fight. That's really nothing to do with the movie. Other than the scorpion being in the movie later on, to me, it was like, why I was like, what the crap is this? Like, what does this have to do with the movie? And then what the funny part is, they show the car like run it over like the real scorpion and smash it. But the kid yet picks it up and it's still life. That's one strong scorpion. That was some of the worst CGI that I've seen in a long time. That look, that CGI was on par with cocaine shark. It was bad. Yeah, it was bad. Graceland is 1582 miles from Las Vegas. Okay. So, I mean, it's half of what they're selling. They're lying to us in the movie, Torture Dads. What about how many miles from Las Vegas to Mount Vernon, Washington, where he got on the boat? Oh, okay. I'm going to do that math right now. Uh, Vegas to the boat. Mount Vernon, Washington. I do. Vernon, you're talking about Washington state, right? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Uh... 1179 miles. We still haven't hit 3000 yet. Nope. Yeah. But it's a cool title. I'm telling you. It's a good title for a movie. I give it. It's a great title. I am a huge Costner fan when it comes to sports. He does good sport movies. I like, I like Field of Dreams, Bull Durham. Um, for the love of the game is good. Draft day was good. I like draft day. Draft day is good. He did another one where he was a sports talk, uh, radio guy. Oh my gosh. What is that movie, Roger? He was a sports talk radio guy. And he lived next door to a family who lost the dad. And he kind of slips in and he's like the, the, the carefree sports guy. And the daughters are like uptight because they don't like sports. And all he likes is baseball. Um, now I gotta look. Keep talking guys. I don't dare hear, but I'm looking. I don't, I don't remember that one. Oh, it's so good. It's a good movie. The best part of this movie too is like they make no character development whatsoever. Kevin. Yeah. Kevin, uh, Kurt Russell comes rolling in. You have no clue who he is, why they don't ever get into it. Except for that he was not the greatest guy. Yeah. Until you until until, uh, him and Courtney are after their, um, cuddle session. Yeah. You know, as he said, he had been with a woman in five and a half years. That's true. She's yeah, that's when the prison thing's kind of brought the, as during the cuddle session, little kids coming in there and just robbing them blind. Yeah. Oh my gosh. First off, I would not want to be in the same room. If that's going on as a kid, I would be mortified. I'd be like, oh my gosh. Yes, he was, yes, he was used to it. He was like, why don't you go get the money? Second, he said he hadn't been with a woman in five years, but I would follow that up now in modern day and be like, I mean, been with a dude. I mean, he'd been in prison for five years. I'd want to know that. I'd want to know because she's basically, I love, I love, okay. Anytime in a movie, they set this up, Roger, you know, I'm not going to be easy, right? You know, they're easy. I mean, that's code. If they're, if they're saying they're not easy, the code in the movie is the next scene. They're going to be boinking. I mean, he does get her a Snickers bar. NTD brings up a good point. This movie is over two hours. Yes, it is. It was more like four. It was more like four hours. But imagine, imagine Jacob, you and your darling wife, the first night you're with her married, y'all get to enjoy each other. Then you throw a Snicker bar at her. I think I might be at the courthouse the next day. It might be a minute with me over here, man. Roger, how would that fly? Yeah, it would not fly. I know your wife, not fun. He just, they're not even married. He just throws it like, I don't, I don't get that, man. It's, it's weird to me. I mean, thank you. She did say she would, she would love some chocolate or something like that. So I mean, he did get her a Snickers bar. He was trying, I guess. Snickers second best candy bar around in my mind. It's, okay, maybe third. Number one. It's number one on a racy cup or above it. No, Mr. Goodbar is above it. Snickers number one. What about Milky Way? Like, Milky Way? And then, then Snickers almond would be number two. Snickers almond. Almond joys are number one. Reese's fast breaks are number two. The hands down. We were wasting the five. We haven't done, we need to do one of those. We do. Well, the next fifth, the next fifth Monday, we'll do that. NCD, what's your go-to candy bar again? We need to figure this out. So back to this movie, it's weird. It, they set nothing up and then Kevin Costner pulls up. Zag it. And, a zag. Oh my gosh, man. I feel like that was popular, what, back in the 60s? Is that a 60s? I thought it was like Clark Bar. Oh my gosh. Move, MCD's not that old, but he's typing like he might be. MCD, the power move, I call him this morning. I'm like, what you doing? He's like about taking that. I'm like, it's 830. It's bad. When you retire, oh, he's getting good. How long is since the humor, man? So Kevin Costner pulls up, Raj. How, I don't even think, like, they look like they want to just beat the crap out of each other. But why are they, why are they even partners? Yeah. I don't understand it. Like, I would not partner with a guy. I want to, I feel like he wants to kill me. Yeah, it does not come off like a sweet reunion at all. Like, yeah, they, they shared a, some like they shared a sale together. So maybe it was, you know, lover's quarrel or something. Maybe, maybe that. Oh my gosh. What if they had been dating in prison and. That's all they could have said. They were, they were both Elvis fans. And then like Kurt Russell started, like gushing because Kevin Costner possibly could have been related to the king. And then the sparks flew. They did, but then, but then once they crossed the line, Kevin Costner was like, I'm not, I'm like gay, man. And then he just became angry. Because, and that's where he gets his anger rate from. He's like, I'm not like that. No, he does the Aspen Chura thing with the, with the plunger in the bathroom as he's crying. I love Aspen Chura. Yeah, I don't understand this guy's, this guy's angle. Second, how did he meet those other two guys? Like, are they from prison? Or did he just hook up with dudes on the way and say, come on, hop in the car. We're gonna rob a bank. We're gonna rob a casino. He's like, hey, are you happen to like Elvis in any way? Do you have your own Elvis costume? Because it's a prerequisite to this job. Did they give him bodies costumes? I think these costumes are called like nudies. I think they're like nudies. I mean, they're, they're made by this last guy with the last name, nudie. Okay. And, and do they have to go to a specific shop and have them tailored? Like, what's the deal? I mean, it's a lot of work going into meeting Kurt Russell at this nasty diner. And Kevin Costner is very sensitive about the king. Because someone makes a joke about the king and he about loses it. Yeah, but, but it's Kurt Russell can look at him. I played Elvis in a movie. Like, he literally played Elvis in a movie before this. It's true. He's looks more like Elvis than Kevin Costner. I would think that Kurt Russell had more of a play on the inheritance than Kevin Costner. Yeah. Who had the real sideburns? He had the real sideburns. Kevin Costner was losing his hair. He was so bald when he took that movie off. I'm like, oh my God. This guy needs me on movie torture. We're all losing our hair. So, so we, we then fast forward. They're going to, I mean, it doesn't waste a lot of time. Once they meet, they're getting to the Robin. Like, they're going, this has to be. One thing, do you feel like the director, Roger, was going, we're making an Ocean's 11 right here. Like, these guys are going to come in here. We're going to make a more violent Ocean's 11 and they're going to rob this casino. Because I feel like they could take some pointers from Danny Ocean at this point. Yeah. And this came out the same year. Like, it was the same year and you would think they didn't even know Danny Ocean. Now. First of all, they're not subtle going in. Costner hits that guy who recognizes him. Yeah. And you know, that brings, kind of, attracts a crowd. And then, um, they come out rather than trying to sneak out, they come out guns ablazing. You know, which no one in the casino is affected at all. Like, all this gunfire, everything's going off in our way. It's like nobody was on that side of the, the casino. Well, there was a little person, Elvis, that got taken out, unfortunately. Yeah. I was laid, I was laid for the stray bullets to go over to where the guys are performing on stage and somebody get hit up there. They're right. But yeah. I think those guys performed the whole time. Like, the whole show, they got on the helicopter through. We'll get to that. Did that. And then the music stops. Like, uh, I don't understand that. You hear one little pop. Everybody's like, oh my gosh. In this movie, they're pulling out machine guns and going at it. Like, they're like literally killing people on here. It's weird to me. Like it's a. And here's what's, what's weird to me is I, I swear when they like, you get to the point where they get in the elevator, right? And the, the, uh, the one Elvis dude, the one that gets shot. It looks like when they first do it and they hit, they shoot him in the head. But then they played off and got shot in the neck. Like he's still alive. But when they do the shot, if you watch it closely, he gets shot in the head. And then the guy was not killing right away. Let's change the script here. We can't, we can't kill this guy. We can't. I was telling Jacob at church, Roger. I feel like this director, who sucks, by the way, and I don't think, I don't think he's ever done anything since this movie. This might have been his coffin. But I feel like he just wanted to create a bunch of cool scenes. Like slow mo scene. Like there was no, there was nothing happening. It was all stupid. Like, yeah, like those scenes towards the end in the warehouse, where there are costers coming through there. And it's like it's, it's like it's, uh, doing the, um, JFK movie, you know, where they would go to those steel shots, you know, back and forth between scenes. Yeah, it was, yeah, let's just, we'll get there. But the end of the movie is great. Acede, come on. Yes. Um, yeah. I think, so we'll get, so they, they come through, they rob, I don't know what they're robbing money, but do they ever talk about why this particular casino, like at all? Like, no, they don't. It's, it's weird. But I'm going to do some I've never done in the history of movie torture. And I don't want this pot to stop. I got to go to the bathroom, so you continue to talk and I'll be right back. He needs to take his mic in there with him. I don't know if we want that though. Oh, well, you know, for, for such an all star cast, this was such a horrible movie. I mean, it was not great. Well, then they were like, they're all remorseful about the guy in the helicopter. And then one that got shot and then they're like, well, he's dead. Let's just chuck him out over the side. Yes, it's called good. So yeah. Well, and then to be really sad about him, but then, you know, you know, Slater starts to put up a scene there when they're counting the money. And, you know, they're pulling guns on each other. And, uh, every if the guy should still get his half or his quarter. And he's like, why are we splitting the money with him? He's gone. Yeah. Uh, MTD answer it. That is a first for Brad leaving for the rest. Yeah. And then there's the, uh, the whole bulletproof vest thing. Like, I'm sorry, if I'm trying to kill a guy, I'm going to make sure he's not breathing, you know, rather than just shooting twice and walk off. So, which in most cases, what it is, but every movie they do that where it's always, they just hit him in the body. They have the bulletproof vest on. Yeah. And they're just fine. Yeah. Um, but you knew that kid was going to get involved. Again with it, because before that part happens or trying to divide the money, the hide the money and the ceiling, but the kids watching them the whole time. Like right away, I knew that money was going to go missing. Yeah. That kid was taking that money. Yeah. Yeah, I, I had a feeling that him and the mom, Courtney Cox, I had like that kind of set up with every time that she played off like it was him, but I think she had taught him. Yeah. What to do. Like they were in cahoots the whole time. Yeah. And then they, um, uh, where was it? Uh, I did like that line. They said, uh, when they were talking about, uh, being a family and he was like, we're like the osmons. We don't, but we don't get along or something. Yeah. Like that's a pretty dysfunctional family. They're over here shooting each other over. Who gets half this money, where was that money supposed to go? Cause he's like, no one's going to take it. So he was going to keep it for himself. Yeah. Yeah. That didn't make sense. Like I was, it'd been like if he said, well, it's going to go to his life and family. You know, but they just, he's going to get his part. Yeah. That's what the movie was all about is like they would go to a scene that needed explanation, but never explain it. They just left it. Yeah. Yeah. It's just, yeah. It's kind of kept it going. They're like, he doesn't get the money, but don't say, hey, we're going to go send it to his family. We're going to go take care of him. He was just like, no, you ain't getting the money. I'm going to keep it for myself. Yeah. And not spending it. I thought it was interesting too. I thought the kid did a pretty good job in the movie. It looks like he's not done much since, you know? That was, you're right. That was my whole thing. Like the kid was probably the best part of this movie. Yeah. Like his whole thing, he was almost like a more of a mastermind criminal than they were, for sure. Yeah. And I thought the red head, the Megan girl, looks like a lot like Julian Moore, like a young Julian Moore. Yes. Yeah. That, that, that whole thing was just weird too. He goes to the gas station, kills the guy. And then he's like, and she's like, well, can I just come with you? Yeah. Did you wash your hands, Brad? I did. I'm back. I was about to crap myself and I had to go, man. It was neither. I could have done a power move and a true broadcaster would have just pooped himself while he did the show. You had an opportunity right then and there to pull a Hannah. You could have just went a little bit off camera, right? I'm the garage floor. That would have been a power move. I'm over here, guys. Don't worry. Yeah. I, my stomach is, was killing me and still doesn't feel great. And I'm like, I don't think I can hold this out much longer. I'm going to have to go or make a decision. So, uh, MTD texted me and said, are you coming back? I went about crap myself. So, yes, I was running. I was over here. Max, let's bring, bring the broom. I'm not cleaning up. Max will clean it up. Brad was running with the runs. Well, where are we at now? Did we get to talk about the helicopter yet? We talked about the helicopter. Well, yeah. Hey, I missed that. Would you just, okay. Let's think about it. I just want to get back to exactly what we're up there. I'm dead. You got my, did y'all bring this up? No, what am I doing? He said, yeah. I wish, Hannah, let's see. Yeah, it's funny. Hannah, we get me all that. Um, uh, or that. So, I'm dead. Are y'all just throwing my dead body off the helicopter? Is that what we're doing in our friendship? Or, you know, are you going to rest and piece me? Because at this point, it's rest in pieces. Because this guy's getting splattered. Well, I would at least go over body of water. Throw you over the body of water. You know, you just, you would sink and wouldn't like, you know, bounce off the desert ground. It's true. Yeah, they could fly over like meat over there. That's big. And they never said anything. Did they ever find the body? No, they ignored that. Yeah. But I mean, it's not a way to, not a way to end it, right? For this poor guy. Like you just throw him, I'm watching this. I'm like, they're going to throw him off. It's kind of a liability at that point. So I'm just kicking you. Yeah. Why don't you just, yeah, he dies in the helicopter. I get it. But Kevin Costner cares about him, I guess. Maybe he's an evil dick. So where are we all at now? We've talked about that. Where are we at? I just thought of your t-shirt now. I think we need to do a picture of a roll of toilet paper and say, I got to go, Phyllis. No, you got to be funny. I got to say, it's got to be him really nervously looking at the camera going, this is the first time this has ever happened. I've never had to. I think you're mad saying that this is the first underneath it. This is the first time this has ever happened. When we were in the studio, Raj, back in the day, I did get up and go pee one time in the middle. And Gary stopped the recording. I got like, why'd you stop it, man? Keep talking. I don't have to be here. So where are we at? We were kind of talking about the gas station scene where Kevin Costner pulls up to this gas station. And it's that really creepy guy and the girl and he shoots, the guy kills him and the girl's not freaked out by this. She's like, can I come with you? He's like, go get your bubble gum. I'm like, what? What happens to her? I kind of, does she just disappear? I actually got a motorcycle gang. Yeah. She said to me. Now, the lady that played her, I looked her up. She has been on another movie, and we talked about this before, Roger. She was on Halloween Resurrection, an old movie to a trip episode. This girl is, she was kidnapped with another guy back in the day. And she's not in Hollywood anymore. Looks really rough, but she was kidnapped. Like she doesn't look anything like she looked in this movie. Mm. And beaten and tied up with another actor. Somebody kidnapped her and another actor. Really weird. Wow. Weird story. So yeah, would you get in the car with a guy that just murdered? And I guess that guy was abusive, so she probably was happy he was dead, right? I'm assuming that's kind of what they were leading to, yeah. Yeah. But I feel like she's like happy, but she doesn't realize she's getting in the car with Satan himself anyway, right? Okay. So when the bikers come up and you don't see her, like they're doing the shot of the car coming down the road, you only see one person in there. They're cuddling again. Yeah. Did you think she was gone from the car? Or did you know that's what was going on? Yeah, I guess they were doing it, right? I mean, this is it. Well, she was given him a happy ending in the car. I suppose it. See, Elvis went on, Elvis died on a toilet. Much like I had to go to earlier. But but Kevin Costner is going to die of an STD because he doesn't care. He doesn't. We haven't even touched on, which makes this just a masterpiece of a movie. Is at this point, Courtney Cox is now with with Homeboy. David, our chair. Yeah. No, he's not. She's with, oh my goodness. Is it Russell? Yeah, because she's going with him to get the money washed now. Oh, okay. They're attacking now. And that's why Kevin Costner is tearing off because he's trying to catch them before they get the money washed. Because there are now a big item together, apparently, with this kid. Did we talk about how Kevin Costner didn't want to split the money, by the way? We got to that point yet. We did talk about that. That's part of the movie. I don't understand why he's doing that. Like, I don't get it. But the kid, I think the kid's the best part of this movie. I mean, we said that too while you were going. Yeah, he's the best part of this movie. And he's in a different movie, by the way. Like, I would rather see a movie focused on this diabolical kid than Kevin Costner. And basically, oh, go ahead, sir. And if we were all, let's say Jonathan dies and we just robbed a casino. We're splitting Jonathan's catch. Like, I'm not, we're not just saying that's for him and just burning it. Right. Like, like Jonathan's gone. So we're going to take it. Costner was going to take it. Oh, well, okay. Then I guess, I guess, uh, we'll split it. Well, this one. Anthony's like, I'm taking that. Give it to me. Right. Because his plan was to kill everybody as it is in every movie. Like, you know, there's a, there's a bank robbery or whatever. There's four or five guys. Then, you know, one guy's going to kill them all so he can keep all the money. Do you think movie torture cast could successfully do a heist? Hey, I'm down now. It would bubble very quickly. He would be, what would Gary play in the heist? He could play the kindly kid who people feel sorry for as he's walking in. You know, I'm like, hello, kind sir. And he's, you know, he says, I'm little Gary. And they're like, oh, meanwhile, Roger and Jacob are sneaking in behind and take it out of this. Hold on one second. Hold on one second. I was like, I think the two biggest guys in this cast, he's like, they're sneaking around. MTV's in the van. He's like, we're watching everything going on. I'm watching you. What we would do is we would be dressed as security guards, you know, white mall cop and our way is to get in the building. Sorry. OK, so we're getting into Vegas. Y'all are mall cops. Gary's a little, a little Oliver. Hello, kind sir. And he's like walking up and Jonathan, he's just this, Jonathan's this big guy that's like betting on sports. Like he's the real loud guy. I got $40 on the Panthers right now. And he's like really loud. That's the character he's playing. As a distraction, then I'm coming in as a socialite in a tux. You're coming in dressed as a chimp monkey cop. Oh my god. No, he would come in with his hot dog suit. Into the casino. Well, somebody's going to do the Robin. OK, so we're leaving this Robin up to Hannah and Ashley and Blum. They would never expect them. We got Blum House, Trent and Hannah and Ashley. Doing the Robin in this. I don't know, man. I feel like we're like, I feel like they would get the money and then leave us all behind and take it as well. What happened? I feel like Hannah and Ashley could be the Anne Hathaway and rumor. Or Rebel Wilson in the hustle. They'd be hustling this the whole time, right? 100%. 100%. MTV never just a woman. She couldn't take your money. See what I see is. Oh, this is hilarious. What MTV said. Hannah will come in right now. ATV into the scene. Oh my gosh. Justin needs to get home to put kids to bed. He's like, I can only play this part to eight o'clock. I got to go home and put the kids to bed. 20 minutes guys, we got to go. Let's get it up. My connection is starting. Hannah's riding the ATV into the casino with the machine gun. Yeah. And Ashley's doing stand-up comedy. They're all Mark. They're all for us though. They're helping us still money from the Riviera, which is no longer in existence by the way. It's true. It is gone. It is gone. The perfect work. I think movie torture could put together something to be. We're definitely all going to prison afterwards, but now we got the same prison. Because I feel like if all of us were in the yard together, it'd be kind of fun. We could just talk all the time. I don't think prison's a club outside. We call activities. Wait, it's MTV. If we do this is MTV, the Morgan Freeman of our prison. I'll tell you. Who's the Andy Defrain? Who's Claude? Who's the drilling holes in the wall to try to get out of prison? MTV is the smartest one in the whole group, so he just disowns us all and gets away scot-free with the money. Each other man has wrong prison. And then I'm like, hey, MTV, can you bring me something? Can you bring me like a burger? You owe me $50 and I'll do it. Nothing's free in life, kid. Like, MTV took all the money. He takes over the podcast. It's moving torture with MTV now. You hear my voice, it's working. I like this. I like this, Roger. We're all at like summer camp in prison together. Thank you, Roger, Blum. Ashley and Hannah be at their own prison. They would be. They would not be in our prison. Yes. Yeah, but then here's the cool thing. I get out of prison after five years. I come home like baby. Chris was like, I think he's been five years. You ain't been five years for Robin and Casino. I think you're even a little more than five years. I think he'd be nappy. He'd been his whole time in prison just nappy. Somebody work him to do you up. I'd be like, it's been five years, Chris. And she's like, it's gonna be five more, boy. And I'm like, oh my gosh. So yeah, I like the idea of us in prison. Where are we out in this crappy movie? We're looking to say that the movie basically is two different movies because it goes from like this high intense blowing everything up to love story. Very quickly. Yeah, Roger, did you feel like Kevin Costner and Kurt Russell liked each other in real life in this movie? I don't feel like they liked each other. I feel like they're two different movies. Kurt Russell's not in the same movie as Kevin Costner. It's weird. Yeah, it's not great. Yeah, it's movie is such a sideways movie. And I had to say the Courtney Cox like acting when she's actually to legit me trying to be sad because her kid gets like taken and she's fake, she's like trying to real cry. It was terrible. It was terrible. This is Courtney Cox, dear and friends. Friends is still on at this point. She is slumming in this movie, man. I don't know why her agent was like, you need to get in this movie. Because it's weird to me. I wanted to see more Elvis and saw no Elvis except the first part. Yes. And they could have used a lot of Elvis. They should have used nothing but Elvis music in this movie. Yeah, see that's that that was one of the things I was glad they didn't do because I was just thinking, oh my gosh, I'm gonna have to listen to Elvis the whole time. You don't like Elvis? No, I'm not a big Elvis fan. I like Elvis. Well, is anything else we want to add about this movie? Basically, then it comes down to, I mean, we got to talk about Ice-T. Ice-T makes a big cameo in the movie because he's like this supposed to be this high caliber like hitman to get rid of Kurt Russell. But they go into this big giant shootout. Kurt Russell once again gets shot by close rain shotgun, but magically is wearing a vest again that you figure out that he's carted off the ambulance that Courtney Cox steals with the kid and they live happily ever after as they whisk off the sunset. They move into their trailer. They have trailer trasher and all over them. What do you think they do on the week? Do you think they go to the to the golden corral and eat wherever trashy town they're living in? Like, I mean, what is their plans? What do they do in normal life when they're not you know, robbing banks and running from from. They got like out on the boat at the end. So I guess they're all the money still. Yeah, they put newspaper in the bag. So it wasn't even the real money. But I feel like. This is such an unbelievably stupid movie like. Yeah, ice my wine upside down. This is this is crystals. This is crystals words. Why does Brad keep doing this to you? Why do you keep watching these horrible movies? Well, I mean, in in your defense, you've taken a few Mondays off. So you haven't had to sit and grind through. You know, so. It's movie waterboarding, Roger. This was I this was one I had not watched before this. I knew of it. It's seen scenes from it, but never. You know, I was smart enough not to to have watched it till now. I mean, yeah, well, we're going to recap this that. Is there any. Is there any good reviews you? Is there any bad reviews, Jacob? You found there's got to be a bunch of bad reviews. I got some just getting one second. I got a bad review for us. I'm looking right now. And then I'm going to do my five star Amazon. Oh, actually, let me go. As you are looking, I'll do a five star Amazon here. And this is from Andy. 3000 miles to Graceland, Jacob, and Roger. This was written July 15th, 2024. Oh, man. What in the world, man? Andy writes one of my favorite movies, funny little homage to it happened at the world's fair scene where the little boy kicks Elvis in the shins. I won't spoil it for anyone. Please, Andy, you can spoil it. But if you know, you know, anyway, it's just a fun little twist on Elvis impersonators and they couldn't have gotten two better leading men than Kurt Russell and Kevin Costner playing bad guy Elvis's. Yeah, but they make you want to take a shower when you're done watching this because they're just disgusting in this movie. The whole movie looks disgusting. I like how Rena Hayden writes September 15th, 2024. She writes, okay, five stars. And then writes, okay, the energy it must take to write a review after watching a movie that's 25 years old. Delivers Amazoniac says, delivers a knockout punch in the jaw. While some may not have seen what I call the earlier version of 3000 miles to Graceland, the premise of the script is quite obviously loosely based on Jules Dassen's crime movie, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And this guy writes a book. I can't migrate it. It just loves this movie. I don't understand. I don't want to hang out with any of these people that love this movie. Well, the consensus negative review on this movie says, while the premise sounds promising, the movie turns out to be a tedious and unnecessarily violent heist movie that's low on laughs and leaves no cliche unturned. Well, it's funny you said that I read on the trivia that Kurt Russell wanted this to be a comedy and Kevin Costner wanted this to be an action-packed movie. So the director, the producers, let them each edit a version that they wanted. I guess Kevin Costner won because this movie ain't funny. I got a couple funny bad reviews. This one's from David. It says, hey, guys, congrats. This is the worst movie I've ever seen. This one says, dreadful over two hours, a criminal waste of time. Some of the worst needle drops I've heard in a movie in a long time. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, it's pretty much. That's pretty much what we got? Really even crappier than I thought. And that is really crappy. I like how they used to work crappy a couple of times. We talked about the budget from the movie. We didn't talk about the box office. Well, what's the box office? 18.7 million. Yeah, it makes sense. I saw this on video. I was like, I'm going to rent this movie because it's got Elvis. And I was just disappointed. Like there was not a lot of Elvis. I think Ashley might have wrote this review. Okay, what is it? I could only watch 40 minutes of this. I will maybe give it another try one day. Screenshot that and post it in the texturing for Ashley and say, did you write this review on 3000 miles to Graceland? I didn't add a nozzle to it, I wish she does. Miles a model. Jacob, movie torture and movie gold. This is 100% movie torture. This thing was garbage. It felt like a five hour movie I was watching. It was gross. I'm kind of sad. Yeah, Roger, movie torture and movie gold. Oh, torture. Yeah. Yeah. My life is no better after watching this at all, other than it's over with. Not a great cast, but nothing came of it. You know, it's kind of like, I'm trying to take those sports. You know, that great team just put together that ends up just bombing. Like the Eagles when Vince Young said it's the dream team and then they just sucked. Yeah, yeah. I get what you're saying. For me, I'm sad because the month of December is ending. This is the last movie of December. And we've had great movies. It's been a good month. I think it's been one of the best months we've had movie wise. And then we end it with a turd and it kind of sucks. Yeah, I'm just like, oh my gosh. This is actually, we've ended it with a turd twice in the same order. Yeah, literally and figuratively. Um, this movie's so bad. It made me go take a dump in the middle. And I'm like, I don't know, I'm just taking a dump. I don't even want to talk to this movie anymore. This movie hands down one of the worst movies I've ever watched on this show. I hated this movie. It is so dumb and stupid and it's long. I would watch Troll 2. I would watch Batman and Robin over this. At least they have jokes in that movie. This movie is horrible. It is so bad. I never want to watch it again. It's terrible. There's so many other better movies we watched on this podcast for sure. And then this one ranks up there's the worst. Roger, you'd agree, right? Yeah. Yeah. This is up there with some of the mask, the backup plan, which I hated. And the shark movies are better because they don't try to be something they're not. Roger, this movie was supposed to be stylistic and like, you know, they were putting this movie together going, this is going to be a hot cast and we're going to shoot some scene. It's going to be amazing. And it sucked. The shark movies are like, this movie's going to suck, we're going to make it. Yeah. I mean, they're not, it's like, uh, it's like the stupid's we did with Hannah. The stupid's don't try to be anything but stupid. And I like that. They know who they know their lane. They know their lane. And it's one of the best movies we watched on this show. This one will worse. It's up there. And it makes me never want to watch a Kevin Costner or Kurt Russell movie again. If this is, if this was the first Kevin Costner Kurt Russell movie that ever watched, I would not check back into any of their movies. I'm like, yeah, I'm good. I don't need it. Yeah. I'm just going to take it down. I'm good. After the careers they had, and this is the movie they do after that, like the movies behind them, I'm like, this is garbage. Yeah. You got Tombstone. You got, uh, JFK and Phil of Dreams. States of Wolves, like Tango and Cash. Captain Ron got overboard. And then they do this doesn't make sense to me. I don't know, man, they must have got a payday in this. That, that's 62 million. They must have got 12 million apiece for this movie. They better have got more than 5 million that Tom Arnold got for stupid. So I will say that, um, yeah, but that's a rat voice. Make sure you follow us on the Instagram. Go check out our merch store, uh, Hope Cast Networking. Find it on Bonfire and, uh, for, uh, Minnesota Jacob, for my good friend Roger. My name is Brad and for MTD. This is the movie torture. We'll see you next time. Oh, wait. Before we go, I was tricking you. We're going to be in January. Worst of 2024. Just teeing you up on that guys. So get excited for that. I'll see you next time. I'll, I'll movie torture. [Music]
