Latina Mic Drop Podcast

Self-Care: A Necessity, Not a Luxury

Latina Mic Drop Podcast Tap Into Your Exponential Power with Miriam Simon

Episode 11: Self-Care: A Necessity, Not a Luxury

Summary

In this episode of Latina Mic Drop, host Miriam Simon discusses the importance of self-celebration, self-care, and setting boundaries as we approach the new year. She emphasizes the need to reflect on personal accomplishments, define what fun means in adulthood, and build supportive relationships. Miriam shares her journey of learning to prioritize her own needs and the significance of celebrating wins, no matter how small. The conversation encourages listeners to take time for themselves and to advocate for their own well-being.

Takeaways

It's important to celebrate your wins, no matter how small.
Self-care is essential for mental and physical health.
Defining what fun means to you can enhance your happiness.
Building supportive relationships is crucial for personal growth.
Setting boundaries helps maintain your well-being.
Reflecting on past experiences can provide valuable lessons.
Taking time for yourself is not selfish; it's necessary.
Vocalizing your needs can improve your relationships.
Celebration can take many forms, from small moments to big events.
Prioritizing self-care activities can lead to a more fulfilling life.

Chapters

00:00 New Year Reflections and Celebrations

01:48 The Importance of Self-Celebration

06:43 Establishing a Self-Care Practice

25:41 Defining Fun and Joy in Adulthood

36:59 Setting Boundaries and Self-Advocacy

43:53 Empowerment and Community Building

Follow Miriam Simon:

Facebook: Miriam Simon

TikTok: @authormiriamsimon

LinkedIn: Miriam Simon

Blog: Leadership Blog

X: @coach_Miriam_

Website: www.miriamsimon.online

Follow Latina Mic Drop:

Instagram: @LatinaMicDropPodcast

1:1 Leadership Coaching

Want to Tap Into Your Exponential Power? Join the Tap Into Your Exponential Power Coaching Program with Miriam.

Contact: info@miriamsimon.online.

Disclaimer

#selfcare #celebration #personalgrowth #boundaries #fun #relationships #selfreflection #empowerment #LatinaMicDrop #coaching #leadership #tattoosandpearls #MiriamSimon #relationships

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Duration:: 45m
Broadcast on:: 30 Dec 2024
Audio Format:: other

Welcome to Latina Mic Drop, the podcast where you can show up and show out, where bold moves are not only encouraged, but the standard. This is where excellence meets simplicity and common sense. I'm Miriam Simon, your host, a leadership coach, author, speaker, a mom of three young adults, a grandma in my 40s, and a spouse to the most beautiful kind soul on a mission to empower one million people to continue to tap into their exponential power. If you're out there building your own family and your own future from scratch, you're in the right place. Join me as we explore the stories, strategies, and secrets that can turn your hustle into legacy and peace of mind. Ready to transform your life? Let's get started. >> Welcome to Latina Mic Drop, the podcast where you can show up and show out, where bold moves are not only encouraged, but the standard. This is where excellence meets simplicity and common sense. I'm Miriam Simon, your host, a leadership coach, author, speaker, a mom of three young adults, a grandma in my 40s, and a spouse to the most beautiful kind soul on a mission to empower one million people to continue to tap into their exponential power. If you're out there building your own family and your own future from scratch, you're in the right place. Join me as we explore the stories, strategies, and secrets that can turn your hustle into legacy and peace of mind. Ready to transform your life? Let's get started. >> Hello, and welcome to another episode of Latina Mic Drop. How's everybody doing? I hope everybody's doing well. We're approaching the end of the year, only a couple more days to go. And 2024 is gone and done with. You know, I don't know what you all are doing for New Year's celebration, but back in the day, I used to have a really good time and invite at least 20, 30 people over and have a ball, like really, right through midnight is when the party would get started and have a good celebration all the way through till the end of 2024 and jump right into celebrating 2025. I hope you've had a great year. If you haven't, listen, we all go through things and that's okay. Sometimes just getting up to the next day in the next moment is where we're at, and that's perfectly fine. Sometimes we're a lot of people, sometimes we're alone, and now these years, I'm really not that focused on partying as much or celebrating this much, which brings me to today's topic of the day, because what I was thinking about is, wow, I really don't take the time to celebrate myself for many, many years. I didn't take any time at all for myself, and it was mostly about what other people needed from me, and that served me well. I love to help people, and I love to be part of people's trajectories and helping them. But the problem is that sometimes we do so much for others, that we end up not doing anything for ourselves. We really do need to be able to take some time for ourselves and take time to reflect and take a look at where we are, and what we're accomplishing, and where we are going, where we're headed, what is it that we're doing. In today's episode, I want to talk about how to take time for yourself. One of the things that we can start to do is we can start to celebrate our accomplishments. For many years, there are so many different things that I used to be able to celebrate, and recently, I really have not done any of that. I guess because before, as a kid, you have your parents or grandparents or family members or teachers that celebrate your wins, but as you become an adult and your adulting life is happening, we maybe don't do it for ourselves or don't have a celebration party or we don't take the time or the money to say, "Yup, you know what? We did this accomplishment. We bought a new house. We graduated college, whatever it might be. Our life happens. Sometimes we're just brush off or move quickly through our accomplishments." And I think it's important that we pause and take time to celebrate ourselves and celebrate our accomplishments, and it's okay to do so. It's 1,000 percent okay to celebrate your wins. And I think as women, sometimes we underscore, undermine our accomplishments out of fear of judgment. And really, it's really not that serious for us to celebrate our accomplishments based on what other people may think. I mean, if we accomplish something, we accomplish something. And a lot of us, for a lot of us, some of those accomplishments come hard, and we have to go through a lot of challenges to get to them. So I think it's very important that once we get there, once you accomplish them, once you go over the hurdle, right? It's not like us as women or adults, right? Like once we accomplish something, we have a full parade waiting for us to celebrate our wins. It might even feel weird and awkward for people to do that. But we really should take time to celebrate ourselves and celebrate our accomplishments or put music on and blast it, whatever your favorite jam is or your favorite music. And I'm sure I made it with that word jam. But celebrating your wins and however it is that you want to celebrate it, even if it's on your own, but take the minute or second, five minutes, ten minutes, go have a great dinner, you know, a great steak or great seafood or both seafood and steak, whatever it is, and celebrate yourself. And the other thing, too, that we don't take time off for is self-care practice. Some time over me, I'm guilty, I would just keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going, and just took care of everybody and everything. I love to be the go-to person, it makes me feel special, it helps me feel important. And for many years, I wanted to feel significant because I didn't have that growing up. But what that does, too, is that we end up not taking care of ourselves, we end up not picking up on signals that our body is giving us, we don't take the time to rest, we don't sleep, we don't have a clear mind where, you know, we may get anxious, we may get worried. Sometimes you need the break to be able to deal with those things and being proactive about it is way better than being reactive, paying attention to your body or not even just that, like prior to that, right, like preventative care, making sure that you're listening to yourself, that you're listening to your body, that you're hearing the cues, the red flags that are showing up. And so I want to talk about that today, like having a self-care practice. And the last thing I want to talk to you about is defining fun, like what does fun mean to you? What is it that is fun as an adult? A lot of us have the opportunity to have a great time and have fun in our lives, and a lot of us maybe have just been doing, doing for others and doing work or doing other things or thinking, hey, we need to be serious or we need to take this seriously, life is happening and we don't take the time to take a look and say, what is it that fun is for me, right? We're not kids anymore, obviously. But the kid lives inside of us and we can be as young as we want to be. We could be young at heart, I mean, I know I want to have fun, I like to laugh all the time. That's actually what helps me feel better is laughing. And so for me, that's really important. And I think it's important for all of us to define what fun is and what does fun look like as an adult and to continue that joy, happiness that we all should experience. So yeah, so today we'll take a look at taking time for ourselves. The first one is celebrating your wins. So how do you do that or what do you do? Like how do you even pay attention to that and like stop pause and reflect? So you're going to take a look back at the past year, it's 2024, the last couple of days and you want to take a look back and say, hey, what are the lessons learned? What required courage from me? What was hard? What came easy? We don't even take a look at how far we've come. And I know a lot of people will jump into the new year, new me type of thing, right? But I think that there's a lot that we accomplished throughout life and it's important to reflect upon that. We all mature at different stages and mature in different ways and they're very different accomplishments, celebrations and wins that we need to reflect upon or we should reflect upon those wins and take a look at what are those lessons learned? What did life teach me? What are a couple of things that looking back, you know, for me, it was reflecting upon trust and reflecting upon accepting love. And those were two huge lessons that I learned throughout the year, was being able to trust myself first because it's always about you building the foundational trust and love for yourself and then sharing that with others. If I didn't trust myself, I wasn't going to be able to trust others and that was showing up in a lot of my relationships where I wasn't trusting and it all spiraled from various past relationships, things that happened to me that just didn't build trust and I didn't have the trust and I made decisions that, you know, were hurtful to me, but I only knew what I knew at that moment in time. So that required me to take a look back and understand that I make mistakes too and that was a learning opportunity for me back then. And there was no reason for me to carry it forward and hold other people accountable for things that they haven't done and also realize that there was a journey and those past experiences were showing up today because I hadn't healed that and I hadn't dealt with those feelings and I hadn't dealt with just trust issues. This past year, I've been able to deal with that and I've been able to grow from it. And trust is something that I'm leaning into in 2025 and I want to celebrate that because that is going to be so huge in all my relationships, especially my wife, my children, my granddaughter or my work, my professional life, all the people that I'm meeting with, all the new people, all the new situations, all the new relationships that I'm building and love is the other part that requires courage to love somebody. Like that's a huge risk that you're taking when you willingly accept love and for yourself too, sometimes you don't receive it growing up or you get it in minimal ways or people show you love in different ways, maybe not the way that you expect it to or the way you thought it should be. It takes courage to really go ahead and trust and love somebody for who they are and what they bring to the table. And for me, that was hard to do, especially being part of the LGBTQ+ community. That was some acceptance and self-love that I needed to get to a place of that. And it's been a real journey to be able to bring that to the table and love and accept myself, especially when you know your parent does not love and accept that part of you. So that was something that I was struggling with, but at the end of the day, I knew it was right for me and I knew it was the right path for me. And that's how I needed to move forward, but I didn't even realize how that was holding me back. It's really important that you take a look back and say, you know what? What has life taught me this past year and how can I celebrate those wins? Celebrating that is every single smile that I get with my wife, every single moment that I get to experience that, you know, going on date night every week, making sure that we have our time, making sure I give time to my kids, making sure that I make time. See, here we go again, right? Making time for other people. But that's how I like to have fun and that's how I like to celebrate. I personally like that. But for myself, like, what are this, like, how do I celebrate my own wins, making sure that I take the time that I need to congratulate myself, right? Like Snoop Dogg said, and that I congratulate me, I honor me, which is true, like you should. You're the one that went through it. You're the one that paid the price. Even when people give me advice or recommendations, I'm like, all right, I'll listen to what you have to say. But at the end of the day, like, the one who has to go through it is me. So is this something that I'm willing to do? Is this something that I did? And so it's important for you to celebrate your wins, and people tend to take that in the wrong way for some reason. I don't know what the heck that's about, and I'm not looking into it. All I know is that being able to celebrate yourself and being able to take a look back at what your accomplishments are is important so that you can build your confidence and so that you can continue to build on those wins and continue to build on what you're going through and see how far you've come. And many of my coaching clients, sometimes we need to take that break and take a look and say, you know what, how far have you come? How long has this journey been, right? Not everything happens overnight, and we know that building momentum and building a future and doing many things takes time, experience, hard work, dedication. We all need to be able to take that time to celebrate our wins and take a look and reflect. The next thing I want to jump into are the self-care activities, right? How do you build a self-care practice? Some of the things that I started to do was I started to look at my finances and say, "Okay, what is it that I'm spending money on?" and I started to take a look at that and then I realized, wow, like I spend a lot of money on nonsense or, you know, shop endless shopping that I don't need to do or I don't need any more junk in my closet, I don't need any more stuff on my bureau over there by the mirror, there in the bathroom on top of the sink. How many things do we have on there? What are the essentials that I need? How can I simplify my life? And one of the things I started to think about was I'm not getting younger, I'm getting older. So let's be real here and let's start thinking about this and so I started to think, "What is it that I can do?" and I knew other people who were going out to get their massage, right? Getting a mannequin, petty, taking the nap, going for the walk. These are all things that I did not do maybe two years ago. There are things that I do a couple times a week, there are things that I do once a month, there's things that I do bi-weekly. So the daily thing, the daily one non-negotiable that I do is go for a walk or figure out an activity that I can get some exercise in. Whether it's go for a walk with the dog, 20, 30 minutes, go around the block. If I'm home, right, make sure that I do that. When I go to work in the city, so I take two trains to get there. So instead of going up the escalator, I started taking the staircase up. Now I started to build that in my 30-minute break. Make sure I take a break, walk around, go to the Oculus, go check my TikTok out. I have some really beautiful scenes of the World Trade Center and the Oculus and how beautiful they have it out there with the ice skating rink in the middle of the floor. You come into the Oculus and its beautiful lights and it's just like things that I really wasn't taking time for. I was just working, working, working the whole time. I never took a break. What I started to do was started to think about, "Well, I'm entitled to my break. Why am I not taking it? Why do I feel like I need to do so much? How can I get my job done, but still take time for myself?" These are the things that I started to do, so going for the walk or some type of activity exercise is what I have a daily practice of that. So one way or another, I have to get it. I don't have a regular exercise routine. It depends on my day and it depends on what I'm doing for the day. Sometimes it's going through the mall because I need a new outfit. I dropped like 50 pounds this past year too, so everything that I was wearing was not fitting me anymore. Go for two, three hours to go shop and take a look at what I need and that's how I go for a walk, right? So I get something done that I need to get done. I get the clothes that I need because I need to be presentable and I need to make sure like everything wasn't fitting me anymore. It looked horrible. So I needed to get that going and then getting the many and petty, so the manicure and pedicure, I do that every two to three weeks, depending on what's going on. So I try to do it every three weeks. That's a practice that I have and I've been doing that for two years and I love it. Like right now, I have the beautiful sparkling red for the holidays and that will be for my nocha boena, Christmas, New Year's and I love it. Like it helps me feel good. When I'm there, it's one of the two hours that are for me that I am literally resting my brain. I do not think about one thing and I am not looking at the phone. I am there talking to the salon person and it's really calm and quiet. I am almost falling asleep when they're doing my nails and I'm getting the manicure and I love picking the new colors and thinking of what the color it is that I want to have for the next two weeks. What's the mood that I'm going to be in? And I love it. Like it's just something that I walk out of my house and I go and I take that time for myself. Nobody comes with me. I go by myself. Some of you may have girlfriends and you may be able to do it with them. I currently don't but I do it on my own and I go and I get my manicure and my pedicure every three weeks. And for me, that's a way that I take time for my self-care practice. I make it happen. Well, what I do is I put it on the calendar and make sure that it's on there and I schedule around it. But the other thing that I do is I get a monthly massage. That's something that I was like, okay, that's like luxury. Like you're doing extra. You're doing too much. But I mean, at this point, why not? Like if you have the opportunity to do so, why not go and get a massage? And it doesn't have to be all the time. It could be twice every two months, every three months, once a quarter, whatever works for you, I think on a holiday. Why not? Why not? Go and get a massage and do it. In the beginning, it felt weird, but it really did help and now I look forward to it. And it's so interesting how all the different masseurs have like a different way of giving you a massage. It's been really helpful and it's something that I do take the time. And it's so interesting because I didn't do it for myself first. I was actually doing it for my wife first. I wanted to help her and then my therapist said, okay, so my therapist and my coach in two different sessions, they were like, well, what are you doing for you? Good question. Because I wasn't doing anything for myself, I was doing it for everybody else but me. And so why was I doing that for others and not myself? I was just so used to taking care of everybody that I didn't even think about it. And I was like, I don't need it. I'll be fine, right? I don't have all these health issues or I don't have all that. But sometimes you don't need to have an excuse to take care of yourself. Just do it. Now I have that monthly massage. The payment comes out of my bank account every month. It's something I don't think about. And I always have one scheduled ahead of time. And during the summer, I make sure because I like to go on Saturday and Sunday, which are the days that are hard to book because a lot of people go on Saturday and Sunday or evenings, right? I still have my nine to five that I need to make sure that I make time for. So how do I get all this done? Well, you schedule two months ahead. So what I do is I figure out who is the masseuse that I like. And what I do is schedule ahead of time so I can get on their calendar. And the more you plan ahead, the easier it is. And you always have to work around your monthly, but that's fine because you figure out what works for you. And sometimes things come up and you do reschedule. And that's fine. For the most part, it's something that I do not move around. If I have it, I do it at a time that works for me and I do it every single month. We used to go together. My wife and I, but because her schedule is so varied and different, I was just going to start a new job and start new hours. So we have to be flexible about that. And so then she goes at her time that works best for her. And I go a time that works best for me. And that was something new that I had to learn how to do. It was uncomfortable to do it and go on my own and do things for myself. But believe it or not, it's weird to say it out loud, but it was weird. And it was something that I needed to learn to say, "Okay, you know what? She can't go, but I can go. So I am going to go." And then you do it and you're fine. And so whatever that self-care activity or self-care practice may be, it's important. So even for me, like socializing with other people is important. Giving back helps me with my energy. It helps me contribute, helps me feel good. What are those self-care activities or self-care practice? Sometimes it's also just sitting in my room on the foam roller. Sometimes it's literally just putting a mat on the floor and rolling on that foam roller, rolling my back on it, putting my legs up on the wall so that I can relax my back and relax because I'm sitting like this all day. My masseuse also gave me exercises that I can do to lift my arms for my shoulders because my shoulders were really hurting and the rotator cuffs and I don't even know what else is around here that was bothering me and hurting me because of the sitting and clicking and eight hour days sitting behind the computer and then now on top of that have the podcasting and I have other things that I do virtual evenings and weekends. So even more time I spend behind the computer. So it's important for me to do that. And so every day there's not a day either that's another one that I always do is have the foam roller either I lay on the floor or I put it on my couch and it's something that's actually very beneficial and it helps relax my back. So I do that every day. It's kind of like a ritual bedtime ritual so that I can get a good night rest and that's what I love to do. I bring a glass of water, do everything I need to do first and then I do that with the foam roller. If you don't have a foam roller you take a look at some of the foam rolling exercises. I've been using it. I always have one in my room and it's just amazing to be able to use that to get all those kinks out of the little pins that sometimes we have on our body from sitting or just being in the same position all day. And lastly I wanted to talk about defining fun. Thinking about what does fun mean to you? For a long time I wasn't doing anything that was fun for me. It was all about what do the kids want to do, how do they want to have fun, what do they want to jump, what kind of activities they want to do, what colors do they want to color, what coloring activity do they want, what arts and crafts do they want to do. I don't do anything that gives me fun back in the day I used to go out clubbing and dancing and actually dancing is something that brings me joy. What I do is I make sure I always have my AirPods on my commute to the city and my commute back home so that I can listen to all the new music that's out and start listening to whatever it is I want to listen to during my commute in and commute home and dancing is something that I really have fun with. Sometimes I just blast the music here in my room and I get up and I just start dancing in my room and my dog he starts barking up a storm because he wants to sing with me so it's actually pretty funny and sometimes I do it on my own sometimes with the dogs sometimes we make granddaughter sometimes with my wife depending on you know who's around and what's around and what day of the week it is but that's how I have fun. I also have fun sometimes just drawing or writing. Writing is something that really energizes me and it may not seem like fun but it actually is because there's a lot that you like exert out of your body and your thoughts and that's how I have fun and I still think I have to work on it a little bit more right to think about what are the other things that I have fun doing and so that's something that's a working progress but I know for sure 1000% is the music and how energized I feel after I listen to the music. That was the other thing is like when I was a kid I used to record myself and listen to music all the time. I used to record myself singing well I didn't realize how much fun I was gonna have doing podcasting. Podcasting is actually a lot of fun the minute I started doing this I just it's just fun to me. It's something that I look forward to doing it's something that I want to do it's something that I enjoy once I'm done recording and I have to edit my videos with the recordings it takes me about an hour hour and a half to every half hour that I record and I love it I like to see the clips I like tech stuff and recording and I don't know it's just something that I love to do so I'm having a lot of fun this is episode 11 11 weeks straight I've done it and it doesn't even feel like work to me it feels like something that is fun and I think that that's what we all should be able to do is do something that gives us good energy and helps us feel better about ourselves and this is something that's fun for me so I have a great time and then I love it too my granddaughter comes up here actually like just before this podcast recording she was up here for a few minutes and she came up here and she wanted to listen to the Cara Ballo show the Cara Ballo show is her show because we record here and there a few little snippets and minutes increments that we have and it's our bonding time. I love it it's a great way for us to have conversations and talk and spend time together and she loves it I love it too we have a great time think about it what are those things that are fun to you and what figure out a way to get it done well guess what Miriam I have kids I'm doing things I have a full time job how am I going to accomplish this right like I'm taking care of my parents or whatever it is that you're taking care of we're all doing stuff right and so what's important here is to have a community that supports you. I surround myself with support it's something that was really important for me even in thinking about who I was in a relationship with because I had three kids already and my wife came into my life and she helped me raise my three kids and she is the most supportive person in my life that I have ever met she is the one person that supports me like there is nothing I need to ask for permission for it's about support and finding her was at a real difficult time in my life and I wasn't sure and I had three kids like I had already made up my mind that I was not going to have anybody in my life I was just going to raise my three kids and I was going to do everything that I needed to do for them I was only 23 years old I guess that was an impossible ask right that you wouldn't fall in love with somebody or be with anybody else but I was just not about to be bringing in just any randoms anywhere near my kids like raising my kids is something serious finding her and being able to see the value and be and be able to have that supportive relationship is actually what has helped me throughout all these 18 years that we've been together almost two decades and it's been hard to ask for help it's been hard to you know say what it is that I need and thankfully we've been able to have each other and surround ourselves with people that support us and I think that's very important in all aspects of our life like even at work we need to be able to find those people that are going to support us those mentors those sponsors right our sounding boards our confidence that we can talk to and we can say you know what's really on our mind and it's not everybody everybody has a different role but just having that support system is really important for us to be able to you know celebrate our wins have a self-care practice and finding fun in our lives and sometimes it is about saying no if you can't don't how many times do we do things that we really don't want to do I mean sometimes I don't want to go like sometimes I don't want to deal with it and guess what I have the option their choice be okay to say no if it isn't for you it isn't for you if you don't have the time don't do it if it's something that you need to say no then practicing no right I mean we have to all set our boundaries and know our limits reflect on the physical emotional and mental limits understand what feels comfortable and what feels draining or overwhelming and sometimes that is our family sometimes it is certain people so if it doesn't give you energy then that's something that we need to start thinking about and saying you know what this is not working these are my limits and my limits are here sometimes we do need to stretch those limits right and we can when the time is right and we will figure it out as we see fit and another part is right being able to communicate clearly you want to use I statements to express your needs and let me tell you that is something that was very difficult for me to do I had a big case of people pleasing and for me it was very difficult to say I need some time alone I need to recharge I need to take a nap I would always just like kids wanted to go to the zoo I wanted to go here and there after long work week or after something like I would just get up and just boom keep going no matter how I felt and now it is like listen I need one day or one morning or one afternoon to take a nap sometimes they get mad at me because I'm downstairs on the couch and we're watching a movie and I will literally pass out I don't know what it is about watching a movie in the afternoon like when the sun is beaming coming through my window I'm just so relaxed not thinking about anything that I do take a nap sorry I mean it's just something that happens sometimes we do need that time alone sometimes we do need to say hey you're asking too much of me at this point in time I can't do it or I need to express what I need and at this you'd be surprised when people can accommodate you for as long as you are being cognizant of the other person too and you take care of yourself you're going to be okay it's going to be okay some people don't understand it sometimes we've taught them to ask us all day every day for stuff and sometimes we need to re teach people how to treat us and in the beginning some of these were hard for me to do and it was hard for the other person to do too and sometimes people got mad at me so be ready but at the same time you know I let them know that it's not about me being mean to them or not wanting to help them it's about me being able to be the best version of myself for them too when you have those conversations and people really care about you they will understand and they will see it and sometimes with your own kids sometimes they don't see it what you're asking for and what you need from them and sometimes it's difficult because we do change evolve over time our roles as parents evolve and sometimes you need to hold back on giving too much because you want them to become independent and that was something that was hard for us to go through but we're getting through it and actually it's building their confidence and now I'm seeing them grow as adults and it's was something that was hard and tough and but you know it's been working so as long as you you're upfront and clear and you communicate with each other and you understand that there's still love and the intentions are good it can work itself out and then you know like be consistent too once you set a boundary you have to learn to stick to it because people may test your limits and our kids are great at testing our limits they test us from a very young age being little baby teeny tiny ones they know when to yell and scream and how to yell and scream and where to yell and scream to get our attention so consistency is key in teaching others to respect your boundaries and at 44 years old is where I learned to set those boundaries and where I learned to have it happen and now it's about their respecting mind and I respect theirs as well because that's also important that you reciprocate the same and then you know prioritize self-care setting those boundaries around time energy and resources to ensure that you're not neglecting your own well-being for others right you want to schedule that time for rest the hobbies activities that replenish you right so I often think about like going to dance class a dance school I haven't done it but it's something that I want to do and I love ballroom dancing so dancing with the stars that's a show that I don't miss I love to watch it so whether I watch it after the fact and you know I watch it at my time when I'm available thank God now you can you know rewatch the shows after the facts that's important to me and that's something I want to get back into and I want to be able to go ahead and dance full do that you know you want to set boundaries with your time be mindful of how you spend your time also watching TV right like I don't need to sit there and watch 10 hours of TV I can watch maybe two or three or maybe one during the week I actually don't watch any TV because I want to be able to reach my personal goals and be able to work on my business and be able to work on work things that I need to pay attention to or like I need the mindset so I need to clear my head and be able to say okay tomorrow I have a big project or tomorrow I need to press this work dress or work outfit because of something that's going on I need to set the time to do my hair I need that time to be able to do that so I block out periods of focused work time um something that I've learned to do is batch work back in the day too and my work what I used to do is okay today this is what I'm going to focus on and the employees knew that they were coming to me on this day for this particular thing then the next day is for something else and it's focused work time most of the time you can make it that way and it does take a given clear communication to them setting the expectation and then they will meet you where you're at if you set the boundaries and let the expectations and be clear with them even that works at home too if you talk to your kids and you say okay mommy needs time for this or daddy needs time for that or you know it can't be all about everybody else all the time we need to be able to give ourselves what we need and as adults people are not out here like what do you need what do you need what do you need no for all adults everybody's adulting be responsible for yourself and take a look at what it is that you need and set that boundary pay attention to your physical space you let the people know when they are too close or when a hug touch or physical gestures are not appropriate a lot of times right our family says oh you have to hug and kiss every single person here but you know when that uncle or that weird person makes you feel weird right like now my daughter taught me that with her daughter she doesn't let her daughter do any of that stuff like when I grew up it was all about well you have to go say hi to every single person and you have to shake everybody's hand and you know it's like manners that we were taught but nowadays it's about well if the person doesn't make you feel comfortable if you have that creepy uncle like you're not gonna do it like it's not fair to the child to go ahead and put that person in that position and we shouldn't and we know who they are and we shouldn't you know we should set those boundaries and make sure that we have them and the last thing that you want to make sure you're doing is you want to practice self-advocacy right you want to stand up for yourself when the boundaries are being crossed and you don't want to be afraid to assert your needs even if it makes others uncomfortable and setting boundaries may be challenging at first but with practice they will become an essential tool for managing your relationships and well-being I really want to thank you for sticking with me these 45 minutes today talking about taking time for yourself I think it's really important that we all find the time to do those things that provide us with the self-care that we need and that energize us and that gives us the time and also the time to celebrate ourselves and celebrate our accomplishments and take a look at how far we've come and celebrate those wins it's really important for ourselves with our loved ones with our co-workers whatever it might be just celebrate celebrate yourself take that time buy that steak buy that cake however it is that you want to celebrate pop that bottle whatever it might be it's really important that we all regardless of where we are in our life and what we're doing and how we're helping others and contributing to others and all of that is a basic human need too right it's important that we do that as well but at the same time we need to make sure that we're taking the time for ourselves and taking the time to understand what our needs are and being able to vocalize them sometimes we weren't raised in the environments where we could as for what we needed we just needed to be happy with what we had and now is the time as an adult where you have that time and space and control of where you want to be and how you want to live your life and it's time to be able to do that and take the time and listen to yourself and understand yourself and understand what makes you happy and what brings you joy what energizes you and what doesn't and whatever doesn't it's okay to take a step back and to take a moment and to relax sometimes I understand the resources aren't there and we don't have the money to be able to do all of this but then how could you save up to be able to do it or what kind of work can you do to be able to get it to this point and being able to rest is really important and take the time for yourself to take a breath sometimes you don't need money for that I don't need money to take a nap I just shut everybody out and shut down and I just go to sleep take a nap like roll over I love to do it in the sun actually like right now the sun is beaming over there on my couch I love to leave the not have it all the way open the sun is not fully in my face but it does feel good to have those rays of sun like just beaming through and take a nap and take the rest sometimes that's all you need so whatever it is that you're feeling or you want to do go ahead and take that time and make the time for yourself it's important and as we head into the new year happy new year and all the best to you so see you on the other side of the next episode of latina mic drop thank you take care thanks for tuning in to latina mic drop remember you're not alone on this journey we're building something extraordinary together if today's episode inspired you subscribe leave a comment and share it with someone who needs to hear it for one-on-one coaching and more resources follow me on your favorite social media platforms at author Miriam Simon or visit my website at Miriam Simon online until next time keep turning your tattoos into pearls of wisdom and your dreams into reality stay strong stay focused and let's make history thanks for tuning in to latina mic drop remember you're not alone on this journey we're building something extraordinary together if today's episode inspired you subscribe leave a comment and share it with someone who needs to hear it for one-on-one coaching and more resources follow me on your favorite social media platforms at author Miriam Simon or visit my website at Miriam Simon online until next time keep turning your tattoos into pearls of wisdom and your dreams into reality stay strong stay focused and let's make history