I gave people all the stuff they really needed, social security checks, utility bills, TV guide. Hello, welcome. It's twenty twenty five everybody. Welcome to TV Gaddens Councilor. I'm Ken Reid. As always, your TV Gaddens Councilor. A brand new year for better or worse, probably worse, but you know why. But I have a lot of great guests lined up. So this will be your 12 of the show as we barrel into year 12 somehow still not missing a week. I don't understand how that has happened, but I'm looking forward to it. I'm going to just dive in, focus on doing what I can do and doing this show and hopefully you'll be here along for the ride with me. If you would like to email me, let me know what's on your mind, which plans are for the year. You can do so at tvgaddenscounselorgmail.com, can it at canread.com or can read TV G C at gmail.com or on all the social media at Kenneth W. Reid or become a patron. If you have a buck or two a month you want to share, you go to patreon.com/tvgaddenscounselor. If you had five dollars a month or more, you would get this week's issue of not TV guide, but the radio times, because my guest, and this is the best way I could think of to start 2025, is from the UK. And this guy's great. He's very funny and just a smart guy, fellow horror fan. He is Dan does. He has a YouTube channel, Dan_does, I put links in the show description here. He makes kind of monsters and does kit bashing and it's really fun, but even if you're not like a person who makes models, it's super fun to watch. He makes the episodes really funny and entertaining and he's just a super funny guy. He's a twin, an identical twin, and he owns and runs a candy store. Yeah, it's the best. I wouldn't pitch this show any day of the week and I would watch any day of the week that Dan does sitcom. But he's great and we look at a radio times, which is always fun, the UK is sort of a version of TV guide. We get into that here. Also hooked to like the year interview, let me know how your year went last week. But anyway, on to 2025 with this week's episode of TV guidance counselor with my guest all the way from the UK, Dan does. TV is my friend and it has been always there for me in time with me. Live via satellite from the United Kingdom, Dan does. How are you sir? I'm good. How are you Ken? I'm doing alright. Thanks going on here in the States, so I may. I have no idea. Yeah, if you have a guest room, I'll buy the cherry baseball tarts and you know. In our tiny British houses, we don't have spare rooms. That is true. That was when my wife is English, she's from Stafford and when her mom came to visit when she first moved over here and was like, there's so much room here. This was in Boston where we're like as close to England as you can get like geographically feeling. Yeah, I guess there is. Have you ever visited the States? No. No, I'd like to. I'd like to do a road trip, but I need to learn to drive first. Yeah. So I'm going to try and befriend a driver and then just get them to drive across the country. I've watched so many films growing up, I assume can only end well. Yeah, oh yeah, nothing bad ever happens. I'm not all the hit you're doing in that well. No. No, don't pick up Rucker Howard as long as you don't pick up Rucker Howard. Well, was he real? Was he real or not? That's the question. He shot a helicopter down with one bullet that didn't seem realistic to me. Well, you haven't been to America. My favorite hit was one of my favorite movies and do you know the story of Eric read who wrote that movie? No. So he also wrote Bad Moon and Near Dark and Conan Tate like all these movies have like a lot in common. He did body bags as well. Was that? No, he did body parts. Body parts. Yes. Jeff Fahey, which was banned here because it was supposed to come out the same week the Jeffrey Dahmer case came out. It's a shame. Nothing to do with it. I watched it recently because I watched hit her and I thought I'd look up to what else he's done. And I thought, yeah, let's watch I like Jeff Fahey, he hasn't done enough. And it was a good film. It is. But also that's the dumbest twist for a movie. Like I'm going to ruin body parts for everyone. This movie that came out 35 years ago, but basically Jeff Fahey, he's like a convicted killer and he's supposed to go to the death, he's supposed to be condemned to death. And his body parts are like donated to people who need parts. So one guy gets a hand or eyes. He's not the killer. Oh, that's right. He gets one of the parts. There's another guy. Yes. And he starts get feeling like psychically like this guy's sort of controlling him and it turns out that the killer's mother, I think had planned to escape her son from jail by cutting him into pieces and having each piece smuggled out in order to donate to someone and then recollect them and put them back together. It's a solid plan. I'd like to say you come up with a better plan. That's true. That's true. I just wanted to, to what extent does that work, the psychic link? Could you cut a finger off? Give that to someone. A tooth? A tooth? A nailobe? Yeah, like where's your consciousness? Where's the calf point? I will donate my sideburns to science and if someone gets those transplanted, they may have all my issues. That's like one of those madam two swords wax works that are haunted because it's got Hitler's hair. Right. Or like wax work. The Hickocks. Great fun. The second one? Not so great. But some fun stuff. Ah, it's a bit fun to get Bruce Campbell and it's good. I do like the dawn of the dead nod, which doesn't, especially then, didn't happen for Ralph. Sisklin Ebert, who are like, were our preeminent TV movie critic show, they're both dead now. If you've never seen the Roger Ebert review of the hitcher, I highly recommend you pull that up on YouTube because he goes on a rant about how it's about gay S&M sex and it's offensive. Why? I've, I've heard that he didn't like it. I didn't know because it was S&M. I miss all that. He's like, he's like, this whole movie is just a, not even veiled film about the pleasures of gay S&M relationships and he goes on this weird rant and I'm like, I mean, there's a look. Not really. Somebody should have showed him an actual film about gay S&M. Yeah. Yeah. Cruz is about hitchhiking. Of course America is full. Yeah. Cruzan has that in there. It'd be funny if his review of Cruzan was like, I went in expecting a gay S&M film and this was all subtext about hitchhiking across America. Where is that? As someone who's driven across America, it is, it is fun to do. And I recommend you visit here at some point, but yeah, it's, Did you take a lot of the back roads? I have, I'm not going to touch that question given what we discussed in a minute ago as some kind of follow up to that, but yeah, you got to. And Route 66 ends on the Santa Monica Pier, like at the end of the Santa Monica Pier, which is kind of interesting, which is, which is fun. But yeah, it's, it's like 30 different countries in one big country. It's very different, some parts of the US. So if I don't, if I don't bump into a gang of sort of hillbilly mutants at one point, I'll be very disappointed. You won't be disappointed then. You might be disappointed by how often you don't run into a gang of people. Yeah, it's funny that even today they can still make horror movies about backwards hillbilly mutants in the age of like GPS and, and people are still like, that's plausible. Yeah. Where are these? You're free words. Where are the hillbilly viewers? Oh, carpet. Right. Table. Plug. Yes. That was a free words thing. Yeah. Yeah. It's perfect. Um, so I, I know you from your channel, which the algorithm, uh, gave me and I thank them for it. Did it? Oh, yeah. Yeah. You're, you're the one. I'm the one. Yeah. It was actually, it, it, the first one it gave me was one of your, um, like junk shot, jump shock, jump, shop hunting videos. Oh, yeah. Relatively knew those things. Yeah. I love this. Cause that's, you know, I do that all the time. And, uh, during COVID, I was watching a lot of videos of that kind of thing cause I wasn't leaving my house. So I think that, so YouTube's like, you like this. You're a shut-in. So, so when you go, do you, do you look for actual things that have value or, cause I mean, I go looking for a little junk that I can jump up. Yeah. Um, value is subjective. Um, I don't like flip things. I go for things that like I, I have too much stuff. So I try not, like it has to be really good for me to buy it, but, um, my wife has a large collection of like Staffordshire pottery and that kind of stuff. So like this room that you're seeing me in is the, is where all my stuff is and then the rest of the house looks like an adult lives here, but, um, so we get stuff like that. But yeah, I just like to find a lot of times lately, I'll just find weird stuff and just photograph them and post them online and get kind of the same thrill. Yeah. For half, well, less the price. Yeah. Um, so that's kind of fun. Um, I did use to collect more stuff, but now I'm just like getting rid of stuff because I have way too much and people send me things. And also I have no skill sets for like repurposing things like you do. For a while I went through, I was like refinishing guitars and stuff, but like really bad at it. Um, so I kind of stopped. Yeah. I mean, I did go for a phase of just collecting everything and now I'll only collect things I've made myself. I won't mean something, I suppose, and then eventually I'll get rid of that. Well, it's also, you're like seeding the next generation of thrift stores. Like someone will be like, what the fuck is this pumpkin with a human face? Yeah. We're walking in that to the, I'm not going to give it to these charities shops. I don't have my stuff. They immediately call the police. I'll give it to an actual needy person. Yeah. Means a pumpkin with a human fleshy meaty face. Yeah. They were like one of those at Christmas time, they have like online things. You can go to where poor kids have like wish lists and you can fulfill their dreams and you're constantly checking it and I'm going to get to find somebody who wants a meaty faced pumpkin. Do you want to even write gourd? Like this could work, you know, maybe, um, but yes, uh, it's, it's a, it's a very strange place. Have you ever seen a US TV guide, by the way, uh, no, I don't think I have. Every weird, every UK guest I have on, if they do look at one are immediately overwhelmed and confused. Well, well, look at the British one. It's not that straightforward either though, is it? Comparatively it is because it will do, um, it will do like a whole, like the channel for a whole day. So we'll be like, here's everything on channel four all day. And that's like one less thing here. They do every like half hour. It's everything on every channel at that time. Like a sort of cheat sheet. Yeah. So it's like, there's a grid. It's very confusing. It's very confusing. Um, and I, I, I feel like in hindsight, I kind of screwed you over here by giving you May 29th to June 4th, 1993 radio times, because this is the 40th anniversary of the coronation. So it seems like that's most of the week. Yeah. How is, how is the Queen? I hope she's doing well. I think she's doing all right. Yeah. Um, I think she's, she's taking up running lately. I think she went to the web jogging. Um, yeah, which is very exciting. Um, uh, for people who don't know, she's deceased. Um, but yeah, she's also, I like how this is the 40th anniversary, but this photo of her in the cover, like, when is that from 1930? She looks right there. This, I'm going to scroll back up for me. That's not a contemporary 1993 photo. She's about 19 there, isn't she? Yeah. That's what I did. I'm a 19th birthday. Sat with a scepter and a crown and a, and a, a bottle of shambourd. Is that what that is? Um, I don't know what else it could be. I was going to say, what is that thing before? How do you stand that thing up on the side? It would just roll off. Is there something in it? Is it just a gold ball? There's magic in there. There is. There is. Yeah. Samvuca. Uh, but there are some other stuffs on stuff, stuffs. Uh, this is also the West Wales edition, which I think also probably screws you up a little bit because there's like a lot of Welsh language stuff in here. Um, which is, because you, you grew up, you're sort of north of London-ish, northeast? Um, southeast London. Ah. Okay. So, rough diagonum area, Essex. Okay. Great. I think it's, great of London. It's, it's on the border of London. So it means charge London prices for absolute shit hole places, you know. You're from Samantha Fox country. Yeah. That's what we're known for. We salute Samantha Cox every year. Have you ever seen that footage of Samantha Fox and the, and the tank? No. I think it was during the Falklands war. Her army is. She, I don't know, it was whatever, whatever shitty like right wing page two magazine that news paper. Oh, I think I do. Yeah. She gets out of a, a tank with a helmet on and like a bikini top and it's like, here she comes. Yeah. Yes, saluting fallen soldiers, you know, well, it's what they want. It's true. That's what they would have wanted. It's true. Um, so you're younger than me. So I think you're like seven or eight years old around this time, um, somewhere around there. What year is this? I think I'm 10. I'm 10 this one. Okay. Um, and you, for people that don't know, you're a twin, you have a twin brother who also has a YouTube channel. Yeah. Are you the only siblings? I have a sister. She's downstairs right now. Actually, I had to tell her I'm doing a very important podcast. He's interrupt us. Good lie. Is she older or younger? She's younger. I also have a little brother. I forget about him. But he lives in America now. Oh, okay. That's why he's taken about him. Yeah. He got for a lot of time. He was banished to the States. It was like Australia's fall send him to America. He may be banished from the States if what I've heard is to come to life. Yeah. They'll strip him of a citizenship. Um, so when I always imagine like one of the things I always discuss is like children who grew up pre millennium, you develop a skill set that younger kids don't have and that you have to be able to like make the case for things because there's stuff you want to watch that you have to be like, no, the reason we should watch this because you only have one of the year, maybe two, um, and you know, there's a lot of fighting. What was it like with a twin? Were you guys in sync with what you're going to watch here? We like the same things plus, I think, uh, British TV that was so limited, there's hardly anything. Um, you got four channels, you're, you're going to want to watch the same thing anyway, unless you've got Nan there or something, you want to watch a documentary or something on the other channel. But yeah, me and Bill, we, we like the same things and we still do now. See, you've got pretty much the same, same channel. A little bit. A little bit, yeah, similar to the, to the point where I thought it was a joke of you doing a different YouTube channel, like as a character, which would be a, I know, don't be one of those people. I know. I put so much effort into this YouTube and the summer comes along and says, Oh, is this a practical joke channel of Bill's? I'm thinking, Oh, it's just something he felt like doing. See, I thought it was your practical joke channel of his was one of your practical jokes. So at least they gave you the credit. Yeah. Your popular channel is the side gag. That's how people do it. You know, it's like a rocket from the Krypton drive like JHU, that's how I think four people understood that reference. So like I lived in the UK late 90s, early 2000s, so 93, this was like a mystery time for me because, and I say this with my young ones shirt on, I like stopped paying attention around 1990 and then picked it back up around 99. So this is like a bit of a black hole. What was you doing for nine years? I was in a punk rock band and you know, being a teenager and just generally like, you know, being miserable in an asshole. So you're like, you're probably like a few years old with the meeting. Yeah, I was born in 1980. So I think I'm three years old, isn't he? Oh, so three years. Yeah. Go. 13 in the punk rock band. Yeah. If we started when I was 15. I mean, I did start a band, but I was about 2022 or something when I was at a little band. We didn't do anything really, but we played guitar a bit. What kind of band were you guys? Um, it was just kind of punk, but sort of scar type, easy power called shit. Yeah. To be honest. Yeah. Young people stuff. On the first page here, it's such an odd mix of stuff because I'm always interested to see like what American stuff we stick you guys with. What page to be on it? Oh, I'm just on the, um, after the, uh, the dish or aerial ultra ad on the front page. I mean, we got, we got three. Take that down there. Take that, made it across the board. Robbie Williams did. But really take that did not. Well, back now, because take that, come back and they're starting to do all right. No one knows who they are. Yeah. It's like, I, um, I forget if I told this during the show before. Tom Arnold is a friend who I don't think he did much in the UK, but, um, he was married to Roseanne and I was at, he's in true lies. Um, I was at Tom Arnold's house and I was, you know, leaving and we were standing in the driveway and this car drove by and Tom basically jumped in front of the car. Yes. True lies. There we go. Yeah. Perfect. Um, so Tom basically jumped in front of the car. He was like, Robbie, Robbie. And it was Robbie Williams who just like two fingered him and, you know, drove away. And he's like, Oh, that's my neighbor, Robbie, cool guy. He's super famous everywhere, but not here. It was like, it was like, he's got a great pool. We should go over there. And I'm like, I love how much I can tell Robbie Williams. Absolutely. He's your neighbor, he hates you and it's great. Hey, Robbie Williams, see, take that did really well. Robbie Williams did really well. Take that died off and then Robbie Williams died off and take that came back again without him. Yeah. Without him, he didn't join. I think it's a couple of them left, but the other one just sort of danced in the background anyway. So it didn't matter. Right. But, uh, did you see the video, Robbie Williams singing frozen songs to his wife as she was given birth? No. It was, it was horrible. She's like, Oh, he's let it go, let it go. Well, he's just singing with the nurses around. I know it's terrible. Extra girls lyrically forgiven birth too. I think it was that's, I'm pretty sure. It was that song. Coach in her through. Yeah, that's because I feel like we shouldn't see a video of his wife giving birth anyway. Well, it was, it was from a taste for the angle. Oh, I mean, it's not like, yeah, we're not getting a full beef shot or anything, but like, you know, just like the concept seems inappropriate. I can just imagine him saying this is going on the internet, darling. Can you smile? Yeah. Can you stop? Come on. That's more of a wince. What are you doing? Let it go. So for some reason, and I don't know, this, I know this isn't the context of it, but just the nature of that video makes it seem like he, they broke up and he wants her to take him back and he's chosen that moment to try and whip him back. Sorry to hate. Yeah. It's his say anything moment. This is a very funny picture of take that though. Like they, I don't know what you'd, this looks like a thrift store, like there was a game show where you had five minutes in a thrift store to put together an outfit and this is what they came up with. Yeah. There's Robbie on the in there with that strange hat. It's like a marble bag that you just sort of tied a little string around. I'm trying to figure out his head because that hat looks like, it looks like he has headphones on with a winter hat over it, but he doesn't have headphones on. So I don't know what's going on in there. It's just like a tote bag and it sort of just folded over the bag. I think Mark, second from the left, he won the same thing for decades now. Yeah. Yeah. It always came. The one in the middle was the one who left. He's Jason RNG left. Okay. He left when the band was still a thing or before the. Yeah. They came back and he left not long after that. Okay. But they were massive in the UK, take that huge. They were like the UK's new kids on the block, I guess, people. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we had new kids on the block as well, but not to the extent we had to take that. Right. Right. Take that and also bridged the post new kids pre and sync Backstreet Boys like they were the only boy band in that in that nexus in that black hole, which is why they did so well. I didn't get boy bands. Did you have boys? Boys? Oh, no. No, not at all. Nope. Yeah, we didn't we didn't get there were like there was I mean, I was too old to really know this firsthand, but there was a lot of like teenage girls who wanted to be like the indie rock version of teenage girls who like boy bands. So they'll be like in sync and take that I like the obscure band from England called Boyzone like it would be like that kind of thing like like yeah, no way. Oh, God, I remember I for some reason when I lived in London, I kept seeing members of the band busted, like out and about that's all over the place. Yeah, they're probably working at the places I saw them at as patrons then that you speak to them. Were they nice? No, no, they just they looked 14 and like it and people were like, oh, and I was like, come on, man. Like you. I think a Mac fly. Do you know Mac fly? Oh, I remember that one. Yeah. Yeah. They were slightly more talented. I think just to smidge and they did a little bit better and they're doing right now. I think actually there's all coming back. I say this because I saw something on the TV the other day and they were on it. So I'm assuming they're doing all right. We were also wearing a t-shirt of that band right now. People should know. It says what is it fan club president, is that what I said? I remember when I first moved to the UK, I was one of the first things I do whenever I go somewhere is immediately go to the supermarket. I like to walk around supermarkets in like new places. I mean, I'd love to walk around an American supermarket. It's fun. It's a good way to get the temperature of a place, you know, see what's what's doing. Well, I'm main supermarket got bought out by Walmart at Asta. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I think it's gone back now. No, it was exactly the same just on the sign. It said Asta and then Walmart underneath. Oh, that's what it's any different. So when there were no guns, nothing. Did the people get bigger? Yeah, which my pants were acquired to enter the building. I must know because we don't really do Walmarts in the Northeast. Like we did look down upon them here. It's one of the few parts in the US where we're like, yeah, but is it not cheap? Is it the cheapest? It's not really actually. We do have cheaper stores. We have there is a chain of supermarkets unique to the Northeast called Market Basket or Market Basket or Magabaga if you hear and it's amazing and it's super cheap and there's a documentary from about 10 years ago called the Battle of Market Basket because it's still family owned, but there were two cousins who had the same exact name. It was like Arthur B. D'amoula and Arthur T. D'amoula and they were battling it out about who would own the company in different visions. And so you'd have people protest and be like, Arthur T. Arthur B. D'amoula like it was like really contentious and the good, the socialist Arthur won and he ended up everyone who works their own part of the company and they get like money back and stuff, but it makes all the groceries really cheap too. It's like it's so great to market, but that's yeah, yeah, so Magabaga. So it's a documentary. Yeah, it's called the Battle for Market Basket or something like that. I do like the good documentaries of the film. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a great fan. Have you seen the Pez Outlaw? I think I have. Yeah. When I was sort of in the fake Pez and you have the fake Pez. That's a good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a favorite. I forget where I was even going with this now, but take that was huge. You're saying about how ugly our celebrities are, I think. I mean, they're not that ugly. They just don't dress well. Oh, right. They are. We know they're ugly. But you get to the block. We're also ugly. I mean, one of them look like a literal ape and you know, you get the Walmart, like they're not good looking fans. I mean, there are pin-ups there, just above, cops on the box. I remember having an hour in my wall. Yeah. Well, was this what was the other big like Jason Donovan, was he big at this time? From the neighbors? He probably was. Yeah. And who was that guy's name? Something? Andre? Peter Andre? Peter Andre. He was a bit late. Peter Andre. Yeah. I have a VCR here. I bought it recently. And I've been buying random tapes that people have recalled off the TV and there was a children in need. I don't know if you know what that is. They have a big night on BBC One, but generally it was from '93, I believe it was. And Peter Andre was on the show, did his performance and he's known for his setback. But the host was literally trying to pull his top up to show him all the six-pack and he's like, "Nah, Dan, do that. I don't want you to do it." And then he's like, "No." And they just kept trying to do it a whole effort for five minutes to try to lift his top up, show his six-pack. And I thought, "My God. You can't. You see how uncomfortable he is. He doesn't want to get his stomach out. Yeah. Leave him alone. He's not changed. They have. Poor Peter Andre was subjected to that kind of treatment. To be honest, that's how he got famous. That's true. But still, you're not obligated to get your abs out. Trust me. I'm not. I mean, I've lived it. Well, I didn't mention also that Dan's fan club shirt is a half shirt. It wasn't, I can't have it an hour ago, just for this to come on. Yeah, it's also a man after my own heart. I also traded VHS tapes for years like with commercials and stuff and have an excellent listener who's making a Plex server for me of all my DVDRs of like 10,000 VHS tapes. I have a very good Plex server myself. Oh, I bet you do. Yeah. Yeah. Because you're a huge horror movie fan. Massive thing. Yeah. Cronenberg body horror seems to be your thing. Yeah. That tends to be a lot of the sculpting things. That's the most fun you can have, isn't it? Sculpting body horror stuff. But recently, I've just been, I've gotten into 3D sculpting. I don't make that a part of my channel because people don't like to see it. People don't like to see high tech stuff they want to be able to do themselves. But I've been finding very obscure horror creatures and making my own models of those. Like what? Well, let's see if you can get them. Do you know your horror films? I do. I do. Yeah. Ignore the pajamas. No, no, it's fine. Right. Let's grab a couple. Oh, and I have one for you. I have one for you after. We'll go back and forth and visually on this audio podcast. All right. There's this one. Oh, it's the brain. It's the brain. It is the brain. That's the easy one. Now this is a very hard one. I even spoke to the director after I made this thing. He wasn't even bothered by. He doesn't like the film. Oh, here you go. Let's see here. We got a speck of a brown gremlin looking thing with a flamethrower with a flamethrower. There was a gang of these guys, one had an acid gun, one had like a sort of spiky ball gun thing. Nobody has seen this film. Nobody has seen it. Is it relative? Is it 2000s or is it an older film? Yes. 93. I don't know. I give up. It's a film called Little Devils, The Birth, is directed by the same guy who directed Rawhead Rex. Have you seen Rawhead Rex? Oh, I do know Rawhead Rex. Yeah, my friend Steven Vissette did the artwork for the comic book adaption of Rawhead Rex. Oh, very nice. He did say, the director did say to me, if you make a model of Rawhead Rex, then I'd love to get one off you and I thought, I ain't doing that. I'm doing that. You don't want a big Celtic penis monster. I know he's not wearing a leather jacket, but he looks like he's wearing a leather jacket Rawhead Rex. Yeah. It's a strange look. I've read the book. It's not about the book. No. Most Clive Barker stuff is not, sort of to the benefit. Well, unless he directs it, I think, stuff he's directed is not too far. I wanted more Lord of allusions in that world. That's my favorite Barker movie. I love lawyers, great. I love Lord of Allusions. You'll recognize this guy. Is that Count Orlock? Nope. It's close, though. There we go. Nosferatu? It's Mr. Barlow from Salem's Lot, but made as a jiggle guy. That's what I meant. Yeah. Who's Count Orlock then? Count Orlock was the name of the character in Nosferatu because they couldn't get the right to track. It seems like you're not going to believe me now, but I did mean to say it now. No. I assumed you meant. I could see it in your eyes. Yeah. There's a lot of that sort of oddness around here in this room for sure. I have a belial from Basket Case, Tiki Mug. Do you know, Belal was one of the first things I sculpted with clay? Oh, really? It's a good one to sculpt. Mine wasn't. It was a terrible sculpt. Really? I would do it again with that. I feel like it's hard to make a bad sculpt of Belal because he's basically like, if you stop half way through, you think you're done. That's done. No. Because you know what, they look like messes, but they need to look like the exact same mess. Otherwise, it's not going to look like him. And it's just something in me will not, it will not. These models are made here exactly like they represent on the film. I mean, I can't speak for the second one because they haven't seen the film, but the first one, absolutely, is highly accurate. Did you, so when you were growing up, were you watching most of those movies on TV, or were you renting them? No. See, we started watching C. Me and my brother started watching horror films. Young. We must have been about eight. The thing is, my mother would rent a horror film from the local video store and leave it in the video player and would wake up in the next, not the next morning and play it. And one of my earliest members was watching Puppet Master, which was one of the first sort of horror films I watched. But yeah, we liked them even though they scared the shit out of us. We watched them. Oh yeah. Now it's the same. Charles Mann's Puppet Master is a big one. I used to rent videos and then dump me at my grandfather's house and just put the videos on. My grandfather would just sit in the kitchen in the dark and smoke, excuse me, depressed men from Norway. But I've told this in the show before, but you'll appreciate it. The only time he ever came out of the kitchen, he would literally just sit in there in the dark and smoke and there was like a nicotine ring on the ceiling. My mother, one of the movies she rented was The Exorcist, and I must have been five, six. That's too young for The Exorcist. And the crucifix scene came on. That's exactly what came to mind. Yup. And my grandfather, who was a big giant man, he reminded me of Not Bell Lagosi, but specifically Martin Landau as Bell Lagosi and Edward. And he came in and he put his hand in the VCR, he didn't press a jack, he put his hand in the VCR and ripped the tape out and then smashed it on the wall and then went back into the kitchen and it just looked a secret, it didn't say a word. Yeah. God. How do you rip a tape out of a machine? It was pretty impressive. The machine was not functional after. Yeah. Was it his machine? Yeah. Yeah. But I don't think he ever used it. I think someone gave it to him for a gift, like one Christmas or something, so that was a fun one. So yes, I very much can identify with that. Yeah. I'm glad I've watched those things, although I've got to talk now, I wouldn't let her watch those things. Although I've been slowly introducing two horror films, what would you say would be a sort of a reasonable horror film for a seven-year-old? I've tried Tremors, Tremors is OK. Yeah, that's a fun one, Gremlins. Troll. First Troll. Troll. Yeah, which is more of a fantasy film, I guess. Although that really did disturb me that movie, for some reason. The house films, especially House 2. Yeah, I did House 2. I did House 2. I didn't do House 1 yet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Monster Squad. I never watched Monster Squad growing up. I had a lot of friends that did. They just slipped me by. It's fine now. It's a good kid's one. It's not that scary. There are ones that are like PG-13 that you would think would be kid appropriate that I think would probably disturb her too much, like Lady in White. Yeah. Well, I think the thing with kids is the ghost things that they assumed were safe for us back in the day, they're the scariest things for kids. Yeah. The things that resonate with you most of last. There's always the ghost stuff that I remember being scared of because they could be real, at least when you were a child. Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing. Yeah. There are people that don't know, like, Halloween sort of relatively new, really celebrated in the UK. Like, did you go trick or treat as your kid? No. We just think we'll panic for the guy, which is basically begging. Yeah. So that's kind of the opinion of it. So like, the spooky season is like Christmas because it's like a ghost story for Christmas and like, all the TV ghost story things usually come out around Christmas, which is such an interesting thing to be because we don't associate that with Christmas at all. But Halloween is getting bigger here, but it was last year and this year was pretty much nothing. I mean, I love Halloween, honestly, because of the horror films, but they don't show horror films at Halloween anymore. I don't know if it's the same over there. Sort yes and no. It's like because everyone can non-demand stuff. I don't think they program stuff as much anymore. But I do remember it like I was exposed to so much cool stuff when I lived in the UK on TV. Like, there was a show called Out There, I think in the early 2000s that was like this woman Emily Booth hosted it and it was like weird clips from weird B movies and that kind of stuff. And then like Jonathan Ross's stuff, incredibly strange film show was like massively huge in my life. Alex Cox and the cinema drum or movie drum, that kind of stuff was like mind blowing. You must have been here when four later was going to have thought of the fort, that's my bag. Yeah. That's my four later. I've desperately tried to find as much of it as I can. I think when they showed the devils, I want to say, which was like the first time they showed it, I think. I think I was the perfect day each for four later. That was a great sort of coming of age sort of segment. Was it Friday nights? It's Friday's and Saturday's I think. Yeah. And they would like have like put it in context that I think the League of Gentlemen hosted so I think they showed Blood on Satan's Claw or something like that, if I recall. I don't remember. There was just there was a TV show I loved called Vids. I don't know if you remember that. I remember Vids. A Welsh guy and a Scottish guy in a video shop and they just review films. Oh, that's right. I've got my film. Yeah. You can still find those online. It's just that's where I've got a lot of my sort of weird film pics from as a child from that show. Do you remember a couple that were like specifically from that? Well, I've watched them all again recently so I can around all of them. Let's think. Well, let's say anime wasn't big over here. It was very hard to find any kind of anime. They would review a lot of anime but would interest me a lot because I was the right age for that. Films like Killer Tongue. Do you know Killer Tongue? Killer Tongue. The Mexican movie I think with what's her name from Return of the Dead Part III, right? Melinda. Something. Yeah. Yeah. It's just all kinds of stuff like that. Yeah. Anime I stopped at like Vampire Hunter D and Akira. That was like as far as I want. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty much all you could find too. Yeah. I mean, there wasn't really anything else. That and the ready dirty stuff. But yeah. Yeah. Like Legend of the Overfiend and that kind of weird stuff. Yes. Yes. I bought that from a WH Smiths at the 13th. They had no idea what they just said. I can't believe they sold that there. I know. I know. That's terrible. That's like so old. Bookshop material. I know. That's worse. The worst stuff from memory, I've not watched it a long time, but it's worse than a lot of the stuff you can buy as an adult. Yeah. Oh, for sure. That's insane that it was under your Smith because you would not have gotten that here. People were like a little more savvy here. I'm going through this here. There's all these shows I've never heard. Like A Melda Staunton, I know that actress. She's in a thing called Don't Leave Me This Way, which is like a murder show. I have no memory of this. If I don't remember, then I'm assuming it didn't do very well. It's hard to tell in the UK because stuff wouldn't rerun that often. And since the season is like six to 13 episodes, it's like hard for me to tell what did well and what didn't. Oh, tonight I think they would rerun a bit, wouldn't I? Surely. Who the hell is that? I wasn't into crime dramas that I hate just about. You have to be like retired, I think, for that one. Nick Ravel. I don't know who this is, but this photo of him is absolutely terrifying. I don't look to that. He's a stand-up, I guess. It's a radio foreshow. Okay, so at least he's on the radio when I have a look at him. I wasn't listening to the radio at 10 years old. No, not at all. No. That might be the charts that would be hit. So this is radio time. One thing I've mentioned on the show before is it's always hilarious to me that we had a TV guide for 200 channels, but in the UK you had four channels, five later, but two different magazines technically to get them all listed because one was just BBC stuff and one was the other stuff. Although, by this time, they've integrated, so this one is listing everything that's on the other channels as well. Very strange. There was K, but at this point as well, I think it was TV or something. You'd have like a TV or something. Well, it was called cable when I was a kid. It was a box. It wasn't sky. It was without the dish. So you'd stab the wire gun on the ground. We had a chipped one. It was illegal. Yeah. But yeah, all the channels on there including the dirty ones. Everything was on there for a young professional team. I built a black box when I was a teenager. I got the plans out of Maximum Rock and Roll magazine, and I put a parental code on the dirty channels. And I remember my dad once had to be like, "Hey, is there a code on some of the channels?" I was like, "Yeah. Why?" And he was like, "I really humiliated him." I was like, "I'll give you the code. What are you watching?" He was like, "No, I'm just in case there's some emergency." Like he was coming. I was like, "What are you watching?" And then eventually he went, "Foxy boxing." And I was like, "Here's the code. Enjoy your foxy boxing." That's all you had to say. That's all you had to say. Yep. Yep. But no, you had to come up with an emergency, something. Yeah. And it's interesting too. I noticed that BBC2 was showing the original Parenthood series, which was the first version of the movie that they did on TV with Ed Bagley Jr. and Thor Burch was in it. Great Halloween episode of that show, but was from, "This is '93," and that show aired in 1988 in the U.S. Oh, see, see, I've not seen the film. I've not seen the series, I haven't seen the film. It has a dildo joke in it, which is not entirely appropriate. Yeah. I was watching "Franken Hook" if you ever did. With you, Doug. I think I was actually watching it in the back room with a sweet shop. Oh, yes. So I was just saying everybody came in. Yeah. I do own a sweet shop, by the way. Yes, absolutely. Yeah. Which is everyone. Dildo's must have been relatively new or unheard of because the woman called it a dildo. I've got a dildo. That sounds like a motivational dildo. Yeah. It does. Dildo or do not. Yes, yeah. I've had James Lorenz from "Franken Hooker" on the show, who makes me laugh everything he says because he has a hilarious accent. But in Parenthood, there's a joke where the lights go out and someone's like, "Find a flashlight," and Steve Martin's like, "Oh, I have one and the lights go back on and it's a vibrator." And one of the kids is like, "What is that?" And he's like, "It's an electric ear cleaner." Shake it right out of there. So this is also the time when the Red Nose Awards are going on though. So this is the Red Nose Day, isn't that April Fool's Day? Comic Relief. Yeah. No, Comic Relief. Red Nose Day is the big charity thing. It's every two years. Okay. So it'd be... Or I think it's two years or four years, but it'd be Red Nose Day one year and then Comic Relief next year. Gotcha. All tonight. Comic Relief was the much more serious one. Red Nose Day was full of comedy. It'd always be disappointed when it was Comic Relief and not Red Nose. Because it'd be like a bad, boring sketch with just cameos and then here's a bunch of footage of serving children. Yep. Yeah. But the Comic Relief one is when they would usually do a novelty single, right? It would be like some comedian and a famous musical artist would have a joke cover that would come out. Well, the '93 one that I saw the other day, I don't know if they did a version of Perfect Day. No. Lots of stars. Tom Jones. Em people. These are a lot of British stars. They've developed an underground song? Is that Perfect Day? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he was in it as well. He was singing a part of it. Yeah. Such a perfect day. That one. It had fun-loving criminals. Everyone. A massive collaboration. That's very weird. A lot of British stars than a few Americans. Yeah. But be like a charity anthem. I know. Well, I'm guessing they've changed the meaning of it. Still. It literally means a perfect day this time. Yeah. It's like we're going to do "Walk on the Wild Side" for children's charity and we're going to call it like "Walk on the Child Side" or something. Yeah. You changed it. That was so slightly and how it's great for this year. Yeah. So then there's a bunch of music stuff because they do the radio listings, which I skipped through because it was like what I assumed BBC would be airing on the radio in 1993, which is like just a lot of classical music and stuff about World War II. Yeah. But on page 10 of the PDF, there's an ad in here for a thing called "The Friends of the Elderly," which is a charity. I never heard of it before, but their logo is incredible. It's almost like the handicap people logo for a handicap space, but one of them appears to be deceased or the other one's holding them back from fighting. I don't know what's going on there. It's just like he's shaking. Yeah. Give me money. Give me money. She made you take. But then the headline at the top is like a threat because it says "One day you may need a friend." It's not like "Help these people." It's like, "Yeah, if you don't help us, you're going to be sorry." Very fun. Then we got "Cricket," which was on way too much when I lived there, "Cricket" and "Snooker." I couldn't. Did you? Are you a Spokes fan? No. No. Look at me. Look at me. Yeah. I didn't want to do the Presume. There's also products - I always love UK product names because they'll be just slightly weird to me. Your version of NightQuill is called Night Nurse. Your version of WeedKiller is called Weed Master. I think they called it Night Nurse just so they could use that song Night Nurse. I loved Night Nurse. I will say this. I would stock up every time I'd be in the UK because that was like 700 proof NightQuill. That would knock you on your ass for three days. That was great. I've never tried it. You know, I really should. Oh, if you're ill. If you are ill, I highly recommend it. If you're ill and you just want to be dead to the world for a week, get made to be emo and you just want to sleep, well, I should be saying ill with air quotes. If you just want to go to sleep for a while, which I think we all do, it's the closest thing you're going to get to like a magical elixir. It's like being enchanted. That's what Night Nurse is like. I bet you it was a lot weaker than it was in '93. Oh, God, yeah. Then there's some politics stuff in here. Then there's a full page ad asking if you're having a stroke. They've got the old fast thing, isn't they, the FAS-T? This is not that. I thought it was a joke because it says, "Are you at risk from a stroke?" And it says, "One tick means yes." And the joke of it is, everybody's at risk, but it took me a while for that to hit, so the questions are literally, "Do you have teenage children? Do you like rock music? Do you sing in the bath? Do you dislike your in-laws?" There must be, someone must pass this about a single tick. There must be somebody. Do you keep tropical fish? Do you own a dog? Have you ever bet on the Grand National? There's bound to be people that have not ticked anything. Yeah. No, look, I'm good. Yeah. Good breeze for your life. I do not enjoy reading novels. I am. A-okay. But like, it's a weird tactic to go joke. Yeah. Let's go joke to make a point. Then we have the Queen thing here. It's very involved. It's funny to me, too, because I feel like Americans always overestimate/over-estimated how much people in the UK gave a shit about the royal family, especially positively. Yeah. I always imagine that you lot would. You just sort of think, "Oh, you don't dare insult the royal family by English dance around." Yeah. I don't give a fuck. That's his owner. Like, it's like... Yeah. Yeah. People... Do you know what she's done for me? Yeah. Yeah. It's very strange, because I'm like, "Why would they care?" That's like... Yeah. But this is a false sense of it, because it's a 40th anniversary. Yeah. And I... You're making us care. You have to get to sing us to... On page 24 of the PDF, which is an ad for Kodak, and it's right in the middle of the Queen stuff. But when I was scrolling, I didn't see that it was an ad for Kodak, so I thought it was part of the piece. And if you... That's the Queen on the bumper code. Yeah. It's a grandmother. Absolutely terrified on a bumper car, like this woman looks like she thinks she's going to die. And I was like, "Is this... what is... but yeah. It's separate." That's the Queen and young Harry there. He is a redhead kid, it could be. Yeah. This was back in the day when they were called bumper cars. Yes. And that was called dodgems. Not here. You don't have to... No, it's still bumper cars though. Oh, yeah. We're not allowed to bump here. What do you do with them? You can't do head on collisions. Dodge. That's why they're dodgems now. What are you dodging if you can't bump? You're just dodging each other, it's weird. That seems not fun. Oh, yeah. We would head on collision on these things as a kid because Carnies don't care. So many chip teeth. Yeah. But they grow back. It's smack in your head. If kids' teeth didn't grow back, like that's... you know, of course you're meant to go head on collision as a kid. That's why you're talking about it. These are the first ones... These are the first adult teeth to cover. Are they at the front? Yeah. So you've got the two brand new teeth, the rest are all kids' teeth. These are the ones that get smashed. Well, that's where you go... They're not coming back. You've got to do all the dangerous head on collisions before you're like ten. Yeah. It's not my fault if you didn't know what you had when you had it. So yeah, I wouldn't go. I used to let my dog go on like a big wheel thing, but it would be put up for two days. And anything that's put up in two days, I've decided you're not going on there. Yeah. Anything that can kill you that's been put up in like a day and taking down the next day, I'm not letting you do it. They'll all go on towers. Yeah. Thought park, autumn towers, all those kind of things. They're fine. They're built to last. These things. That wasn't there this morning when I left for work. Yeah. It's now suddenly there's a big wheel. And I've seen the people who put that together. I wouldn't trust Ikea furniture those people put together. No. You go around the big wheel and this was actually, it was the last one when it was going around the big wheel. It was lovely fresh air because it was quite chilly, it was like a Christmas market. Come down through a cloud of weed. And then you go up again. From the employees. And then. Yeah. Yeah. And the guy just doing the thing. The guy putting the tilt the world together has a cigarette lit cigarette in his mouth with another lit cigarette in his hand. That's what I get for. Oh yeah. Yeah. You just forgot about that one. Yeah. Another good movie. It's another Toby Hooper's Funhouse. My favorite Toby Hooper movie. That is a great monster. It's a strange design. There's a great monster there. Very, very weird. And the novelization here, which is the best thing Dean Coons ever wrote. It's literally think literally right here. Yeah. I didn't know. I didn't know. Lost in coast. He did it under a pen name. So again, if you're playing TV guys, counselor, bingo at home, you're going to get a square because Dan will appreciate the story. So I'm going to tell him. When I was in college, I took a horror fiction class and the guy who taught the class was a horror sci-fi writer who wrote under the name Gary Braver. But he was an Armenian guy named Gary Gosh Garion and he looked like cousin Larry Appleton from Perfect Strangers. Have you ever seen that show? And he was friends with other horror authors. So at one point, Stephen King spoke to the class. So people would sign up for this class because they're like, Stephen King might come in and whatever. So when I took it, we had Dean Coons come in and I don't like Dean Coons. I don't think he's a great writer. And we read Hideaway, which I don't know if you've read Hideaway or seen the film. I've seen the film. It's terrible. And the ending of it literally is a Dave Ses Machina. Like a friggin angel comes in out of nowhere and saves everyone. That's how the book ends. It's so lazy. So Dean Coons came in and he's like, hey, what'd you got? So what'd you think of the book? And no one's saying anything. And he's like, come on, I can take it. And I was like, I thought it was terrible. And he's like, what? And then I was like, yeah, you literally had an angel come in and it's just really lazy. It's the story is no good and apparently like, but I, you know, had a valid criticism. And he goes, he goes, he goes, well, a lot of people read a lot of people bought that book. And then I said, well, they bought it before they read it though. And then he got really mad and he was like, I'm like, you said something about how he won an award. And I was like, yeah, you're all right, I guess. And I said, I liked your funhouse adaptation, which he wrote under a pen name previously, but it's really good. And it goes into like all this backstory that was not in the movie. Because the film, there's not too much depth to the film, is there? I don't think. No. But there's like connections between the characters and you get like a lot more back, like he added a lot of stuff and it's actually pretty good novelization. Was it, was it Dane Coats or was it Michael Croix on the road? I don't think it was, well, I think it was Dane Coats who wrote Fentums. Yes. Yes. Yes. That's Dean Coats. That was, I thought that was quite a good story. And the show, I don't know, I just popped into my head. Well, because there's things coming out of drains in the film. That's it. Yeah. And I had just watched it on VHS as well, and I'm thinking, that was quite a good idea. I didn't, that was sort of a stage when I wasn't really into her because horror around 2000 was a bit shit. Yeah. But CGI was an all right story. I see you, see if you agree on this one. John Carpenter's vampires. I saw that in the cinema. I did too. Could have been great. Can you guess what my biggest complaint about it is? Well, my biggest complaint is the lack of, well, the worst balding brother, firstly. Well, yeah. Yeah. I think maybe just kept his gang alive a bit longer, to be honest. My problem was you had James Woods in a character that was clearly written for Kurt Russell. Yeah. It even looked like Kurt Russell's jacket. Everything about that character needed to be Kurt Russell for it to work. And you can't replace Kurt Russell with James Woods. There is no Kurt Russell role that James Woods could step into, not a one. Always something off about him playing the tough guy in that film, that jacket looked like it was his dad's. Yeah. It was like, who are you fooling? And on the, on the inverse, I think there are several James Woods roles that I could put Kurt Russell in, and it would work. Video dramas. I mean, I, no, video drama is going to say, I did like James Woods. I think James Woods is probably my favorite Simpsons cameo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. As an econ of, as an econ of. Oh, yeah. He blocked me on Twitter and called me gay once because he was saying some horrible stuff. And I would only reply to him with a JPEG of his stomach vagina from video drawing with no other words, which I'm like, Hey man. You're going to, you know, have it here. Um, so then we got our big thing about take that with even more ridiculous shirtless photos of them. Um, you seen the film star dust? Yes. Yes. They did the soundtrack for star dust. Oh, okay. Music and the, you know, that was when they came back. This is a best band in the world by their adoring fans who have added various other accolades such as best haircut, most fanciable male and most kissable lips, which haircut, which one? I don't know. Like they don't say, they just say that the band has that. I'm like, okay, just combine, combine all of their haircuts, all their haircuts. You get that there. Um, then there's an interesting thing about like all the different police procedural shows. That's sort of the US and UK ones are mixed together here. Um, but for the most part, it seems to me that like the biggest US exports that were hits in the UK were always like procedural police shows. Hmm. Yeah. They translate, I guess. You know, you don't. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone loves a mystery. Although department S, I really did enjoy the UK show, Department S. I don't know what that is. It's sort of X filesy. Um, I believe that, um, who's the guy that David Dickinson looked like? He was the, um, he was the antiques. Do you love Joi? Yes. I love Joi. I think was a spin off from department S. Oh, I didn't know that love Joi is actually quite a good show. I've watched a few. Yeah. And I always look back and I think that looks boring as sin, but he's a very, I think it's after watching him in deadwood. I've sort of gone back and thought he is a good actor. Ian McShane. Yeah. Ian McShane. Yeah. Who was in a ton of US stuff? He was in a bunch of failed pilots here, including a project diamond head, which was like a weird spy thing set in Hawaii and like a bunch of other weird stuff. People know him now from John Wick movies most. Yeah. I shouldn't have from deadwood. Yeah. Deadwood is great. Underrated. My aunt loved deadwood and didn't know what it was called. So she would only refer to it as cocksucker. Yeah. And I've had Jim Beaver on from deadwood speaking of deadwood. Jim's been on training. Yeah. He's a very interesting guy. He's also in supernatural and was on the boys recently. The boys and what's the show with the bounty hunter with Timothy Olafant. How? Justified. Yeah. Justified. But Jim's a writer. He started as a writer first and was an expert on Superman. But he goes, "Well, Mill chased me if I wanted to write a deadwood." And I said, "Nope. Can't do that." I could write it. Justified. He was literally like, "This shows too good for me to be able to write." It is like Shakespeare. Yeah. But the dialogue in Deadwood. I imagine I'm much of a fan of it. You are. It's my favorite TV show. Everybody loves it. I've never watched it. What? It's on my list. You should watch it. I have it. I'm looking at it. The dialogue is like Shakespeare. It's just brilliant. I think I have an aversion to any shows set before electricity. There's electricity in this. Is there... Okay. I don't know. Old West. Old West could go either way. Maybe. It's A-E-A-E-A-E. Is there electricity bed? I don't know. Probably. You know, I will watch it eventually. So then we get all the films that are on here. This is spring holiday break. So the first thing you said you went mostly films, right? Well, yeah. Because a lot of the stuff wasn't really kid friendly. Although I did look on, there's a channel called Children's TV or Children's Channel or something. Cartoon Channel. Which I would watch a lot of that now. Yeah. I don't think I had it back then. Yeah. A lot of it is play shows or soaps around, but it's sort of eight-ish, ten-ish o'clock sort of time. Yeah, nighttime soaps were huge. I forget how like massive nighttime soaps were in the UK because that was daytime stuff here. And then like our prime-time action shows were children's shows in the UK. So like the A-Team and Knight Rider, which would be on at like 10 o'clock here for like adults were on at like two in the afternoon after school for children. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I remember a lot of like A-Team sort of in the afternoon. I jumped off my Nintendo running into watch A-Team and all the soaps are sort of in the evening. Strange. Yeah. You got like smokey in the bandit. Birds of a feather was still on. Oh, say yeah. My mother would have been watching Birds of a Feather because it was very close to where we lived. It was just around the corner. I was very upset. Okay. I hated it. I hated that show. I don't know why I watched it. I suppose you were just forced as a child. Yeah. You had no choice. It was like a sitcom about like women to common women. Okay. Yeah. That be referred. Common is muck. And it just reminded me of my mother's sort of common accent. Everything I've tried to lose. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like that for the Boston accent, but we didn't really have a show about like Boston Common People. That was very popular. Nookids on the block really is what that would be. A show called Singers and Swingers, which sounds a lot more exciting than it is. That's the Everly Brothers in Les Dawson. It's a show from the '60s that they're re-airing on BBC Two. Les Dawson. Terrible. Who's an old but he was like an old Northern men's club comment. It's called the racist, racist comic generation. Yeah. Yes. He's from the Ist generation. Yes. Yes. Yeah. And then we do have, I get news for you, which is a show that we did not, we have it. It's just started in the US. The US version of headlight get news for you literally has just started this year. No. It's died here. I think. Nobody watches it over any more. But the panel shows. People give it to you. There's so many others too that like as QI still on or like all that like we never had panel shows here. It never worked. They could never make it work. A bulk of our TV was panel shows. Yeah. They've tried a bunch of, they tried a version of Buzzcocks here that didn't work. Um, they, they've, they just don't work here. I don't know why. It's very strange. See, my favorite was shooting stars with Vickrieves and, and you'd get an American guest and they were so lost. Larry Hagman. What was going on? Yeah. Christian Slater. It's so confused. It is, it's almost sort of like a wind sing a little bit. Oh, it's great. And this is me as a young kid. Oh, I love it. I love it. Bob. They're still, they're comedy is still relevant now that they've done the same comedy since they started and it's still just as funny now as it was then and it's not controversial. Well, mostly. Yeah. It's survived. Wow. They blew my mind. So that was, I, I, when I first moved to the UK, um, I stole cable from the pub that was behind my halls of residence at Goldsmiths. I, in the middle, I was up on that all the time. So they had a cable line. So I split it, I cut it in half and split it and fed it into my, uh, dorm room and you bit of an electrician. You can. No. I could, but that was easy. It's the coax and you put a splitter on a super easy, you know, I'm like, they won't notice cause I cut it in the middle of the night. Um, the, the, the scary part was if I didn't catch the other piece as it fell. So I could like rejoin them, but, um, so I had cable. So I got like BBC Gold or something or UK Gold and they would show shooting stars every night and I had never seen it before, never heard of it, never heard of it involved and it blew me away. I was like, this is insane. This is so funny and weird. You would never have anything like this on TV here and I just fell in love with those guys. That's what I grew up with. That's what my sense of humor comes from a lot of that stuff because they, they, their stuff seems old fashioned, but at the time because of the way they did it and because it was so old fashioned, it was kind of alternative. I think that I think they got, um, they got the awkward humor down before anybody else. I mean, a lot of the office and stuff is reliant on awkward scenes or whatever, but they had it down. They, everything they did was kind of awkward, but they, they would play well with each other. But not hateful awkward. It would just be like strange awkward. Yeah. Yeah. Which was the key, I think. Did you see online a few years ago, they did like shorts for carling on YouTube? No, unless I didn't realize it was a car. They're still online, they're clearly, they'm improving and they're just bizarre and funny. And I still quote some of them, like there's one where Bob Mortimer plays like this statue of like a soccer player and he's just chatting with Vic Reeves. And he's like, yeah, I know I've been going to this nightclub and he's like, Oh, what's the call? He's like, satsumas. And he's like, he's like, I haven't heard of that. He's like, yeah, well, it's, it's underground. It's all like bizarre thing. It's very funny. Did you have anything like that in America, anything close to it? No. So like, I think the unique, um, presence that you had that we didn't as Jonathan Ross, who I would say the closest thing we had to Jonathan Ross was probably somewhere between David Letterman and Conan O'Brien, but even more mainstream than those guys where he had this mainstream, like John Ross, very famous TV presenter in the UK, but had this weird, weird sensibility. Like he loves Russ Meyer movies and horror films and bizarre punk rock and all this, all this stuff. So he would put people like Vic and Bob on TV on these bizarre, doing whatever they wanted on these mainstream shows and we never had anything like that here. The closest maybe was like David Cross and Bob Odenkirk, who did a thing called Mr. Show. I've heard a Mr. Show. Yeah. But that was a sketch show and it was on HBO and it was obscure. Like we, there was nothing like that here. Like you just couldn't. People would be like, what is this? Speaking of Jonathan Ross, his wife, Jane Goldman, wrote Star Dust. Yes. She did. Yeah. She wrote the script based on the Neil Gaiman story. She also wrote X-Men first class, I think. Yeah. And the kickoffs. Yeah. One of the X-Men films. The critically strange film show that he did, that just, that changed my life. Yeah. I've been meaning to get around to that. I've just finished watching, although I watched it plenty of times, Japan Oramas. Yes. Did you ever see this? Yes. Japan Oramas is great. I love that. He also did a great documentary in search of Steve Ditko. I don't know if you've seen that one. That's really good. I don't know. Steve Ditko, the Marvel artist who lost his mind and became an Andrandy and objectivist, which is fantastic. Yeah. So you get all this stuff here. There's a thing called Best of the Cutting Edge, which sounds exciting, but isn't. It's about diseases. That's on Channel 4. Because I immediately go to Channel 4, because at this time, especially, like Channel 4 was like, this is the cool kind of alt stuff. Channel 5 wasn't around yet. I think that started like '96. But on this night, like that dropped the dead donkeys on, which is like a political... Yeah. I never watched that. I think I maybe I was too young for that at the time. I watched the Bill. The Bill seems to be late, though. That's a police show. Yeah. That's a rerun. I feel like if you're an actor in the UK, you've been on the Bill. I think they have. You're literally gone on DB and everybody has been on the Bill. It looks like a World Cup football pushed that forward. That annoyed me. Yeah. The big football games pushing everything around, shifting them. On BBC One, there's a film called Gladiator. Did you watch that? The Boxing Game, the sort of street boxing game? With Robert Kulp. Yeah. I've never even heard of this. And Ken Wall. So this would be like a '90s movie. Ken Wall was on the show Wise Guy here. I'm wondering if this is a made-for-TV movie that was made here and then came out in the UK, because the... Oh, Abel Ferrar directed it. I don't know. Yeah. A trilical is the... Trilical is the... Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if this was maybe called something else here? Maybe it was a TV movie? I don't know. I'd never heard of it. I'm unable for our movie with actors I know of, but that does look kind of interesting. Rick Benton is attacked by the skull and his younger brother is killed. Obsessed with revenge, Rick converts his pickup truck into a powerful armored weapon. It sounds great. Nancy Allen, isn't it? That sounds pretty sweet. And Brian Robbins, the man who runs Nickelodeon now, isn't it? I'd say Abel Ferrar really kind of puts me off a little bit. Yeah. There's a few. The addiction's pretty good. Yeah. Miss 45 has some interesting things in it. The funeral was all right. Yeah. King of New York was in his office, wasn't it? Yeah. Bad Lieutenant, not a fan. What about him? No, I don't really want to say Cara Cartel was schlob. No. No. They should have just called it that. People would say Cara Cartel, sure. Yeah. There's also a thing called the good sex guide, and it says this series mixes comedy interviews and expert advice with guests Tony Robinson, Bernard Hill, Julia Hills, and Hayden Gwen presented by Margie Clark, the least sexy people of the TV at the time. I don't even know who they are, but just their names, I can agree with you. I can picture like Tony Licklick. You ever seen Blackadder? Yes. Tony Robinson's a little bull drink. Oh. Yeah. I don't want to hear him talking about sex on TV. That's terrible. Sunday, what do we get? Anything good on Sunday evening that night? What we're doing? I would. Oh, movie drone. You got Alex Cox showing dark man. And then they got dark man afterwards. Yeah. That sounds like a good night, Tim. Yeah. I love his intros to that show. I don't know if you watch those at the time. I didn't at the time. I would now. They're all online. That's funny, because Alex Cox is the best that represents my favorite movie. And I had Alex on a couple of months ago. You've had to moan. Yeah. That's all. Yeah. Awesome guy, but it's funny because his movie drone intros, a lot of the times they were movies he didn't like, but he wouldn't be snarky about it. He'd just be like, this movie's fine. And then he'd be like, this is pretty good in it. The rest of it's kind of like, eh, like you'd just be very honest. And it's really refreshing and interesting because the thing he told me he would try to be positive about it. But so sometimes it would be like, yeah, the art direction's pretty good. There's this scene. There's this cool. Yeah. It's fine. It's just like, what a weird way to host a movie, because it's usually the extreme way their way. Like, there's the greatest movie ever. Like, we're going to shoot on this movie. He's just like, yeah, very apathetic review. Yeah. But that's it. Yeah, there's kind of nothing. The Sundays were, at least when I was in the UK, were the worst TV day. Yeah. There's shows like on ITV, Heartbeat, Gives Disorder, which is a brand new audience. Yeah. This is stuff that just reminds you of what's called in the morning. Spitting image. Horrible, which is terrifying. But Channel 4 is showing the Wonder Years and Mystic Pizza that night, so that's pretty good. Yeah, I think I would have watched Mystic Pizza. Well, my mother would have watched it and I would have watched it and so... Hey, we're bonding. Oh, we're not saying anything. I just drove through Mystic Connecticut a couple of days ago. Which Mystic Pizza is a place, and it's there. Did you get any pizza? I didn't. Now, I got a steamed cheeseburger instead, which is a steamed cheese. Yeah, it's a weird, unique thing in Connecticut where they're in these metal boxes and they steam the burger and then steam the cheese, and it's pretty good. Pretty good. It tastes a bit sort of watery. A little bit. It wasn't like soggy, but it was like, yeah, it tasted to me like a Wendy's burger when Wendy's was good. See, there was a Wendy's that opened up behind me when I was a child and it lasted about two or three months and it was gone. I think the only... I've not seen one since. I think there's one at Heathrow Airport still, and it's like the only one in the UK, so that they could just slowly introduce people into the country. There was one of the most deceptively named shows that I was like, "Oh, that sounds interesting. It's called The Long Summer." And then I read the description and it goes, "Continuing the series, looking at life in Britain between 1919 and 1939, narrated by Alan Bennett." Like, "Why have you called it The Long Summer? That doesn't sound fun." It was boring. That's why it was the Long Summer. Well, you had children's channel. That's what you're probably thinking of that was not fair. Yeah, yeah. And looking at this is some great stuff, isn't it? Wow. I mean, you're a huge Hammerman fan. Right. I was at the time. Well, I don't think it was. I was a fan of the cartoon. Dungeons and Dragons. That was a great cartoon. Yep. That was a great cartoon. That was a great cartoon. That was a great cartoon. That was a great cartoon. That was a great cartoon. That was a great cartoon. That was a great cartoon. That was a great cartoon. That was a great cartoon. That was a great cartoon. That was a great cartoon. That was a great cartoon. That was a great cartoon. That was a great cartoon. That was a great cartoon. Yep. That was a great cartoon. That was a great cartoon. That was a great cartoon. It was fun with a sort of puppet crocodile in a sewer. Oh. I don't know if that's-- We didn't get that one here. Very in-school. It might not be that one, but I'm shit. Oh, the adventures of Teddy Ruxpin. My sister had a Teddy Ruxpin. Speaking. Horrifying. Teddy thing. You've worth a lot of money now, though. The worm was cool. Yes, friend. All his arms. That was the thing people would do, like, when you were a kid, you'd steal your sister or someone's sister's Teddy Ruxpin and then put like a two-life crew tape in there. Yeah. Teddy Ruxpin doing me so horny. Funny to this day. Funny to this day. Yeah. The worm was called Grubby. Yeah. Grubby as he wants to be. That's a great fame song, though. Yes, absolutely. But what a strange mix of shows. For me, there's a bunch of American shows on here. You have 3-2-1 Contact, which was a PBS show, which was our BBC, which was a science magazine for kids. But then my favorite Martian, which is, like, a 1960s sitcom show, and then something called The Chicken Minute. I have no idea what that is. Like, just bizarre, a picture of things. I mean, Eva. Very weird. Then you get the bank holiday, so that's Monday. I see Lenny Henry here with his red nose. Films all day, surely, back all day. Star Man's on, like, four times this week. Star Man. It's a good film, but it was very depressing as a child. Yeah. Boring, depressing. Like, especially if you're like, "I love John Carpenter." And then you watch it. And I'm like, bleh. Yeah. It's just weird. A lot of strange concepts for a kid to sort of grasp in that film. Yeah. It was sort of, it was sold as a kid's sort of film or a family. It's like someone went. The middle of the day. Can we make the thing more like the big chill? Like, can we make the thing about a midlife crisis? Middle age people being sad about their relationships. Yeah. They're very sad as well. No. Thank you. Misery. Yeah. And then right after it, Mark Almond at the Royal Albert Hall with a symphony. This is Mark Almond of Soft Cell playing with a symphony after Star Man. Is he the guy who drank the glass of stuff? I think that's probably the classic, but was, you know, depends on what generation you're from. It was him. Then it was Rod Stewart. You know, it's always the original. Okay. Not. I just wonder if he did it on the show. I think so. With the orchestra. Yeah. With the symphony orchestra. That's what they mean when they say performing as great as hits. And there's a show called Knowles House Party, which was Knowles Edmonds, I think, who was like a radio DJ who I've seen clips of it. He looks like someone's 50 year old dad, but the show tone is kind of like, "I'm wacky and wild. This is a youth show." Well, you know what, he didn't even pop that much effort in. He just, he let the set and Mr. Blobby do everything for him. I've had people call me Knowles Edmonds. It really annoys us. Just because you have a beer? Just because you have a beer? Yeah. That's it. Glasses and a beer. People have even called me Rolf Harris in the shop. Oh, that shop. My swish shop. Extra bad. I said, somebody said that, and they were sort of laughing. They were, we were being friendly and they said, "Do you look like Rolf Harris?" I mean, do you realize what you just said to me? Yeah, 'cause people don't know he was a child was there. Yeah, he was a child was there. I said, "You've just called me a child molester," and they, they just sort of let the smile drop from there. In a sweet shop. I was, I was, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You called me a paid-off. In a sweet shop. Yeah. And the smile dropped from their face. I don't think they were having a lovely time. I just, I wasn't. They ruined their own time, and they deserved that. They did. They did. They ruined it. You called me a paid-off. Best. In a roundabout way. Best UK sweet. UK sweet. Yeah. Well, I would go, although we don't sell it, Galaxy Chocolate is the best sweet, in my opinion. Why don't you sell it? Cars, we can't compete with the supermarkets, which is brand. Yeah, it's good. They mark that down. Yeah. We go for the, we go for the Stranger Things. You do a lot of American stuff. Oh. What's the best American candy? Yeah. Yeah. We don't have the greatest candy. I'll say that. No. I don't like candy of your stuff. The shot is bad. Yeah. Peanut butter cups are okay, but the miniature ones are the best if you're going to go peanut butter cup. Sour stuff is decent, but not like the weird stuff where it's like, "It's a liquid. I don't want a thick liquid that's sour. That's not candy." So, like your classic sour patch kids, like cherries, those are pretty decent. But for the most part, our candy's garbage here. I imagine peanut butter can probably sell well. Yes. Yeah. I mean, races have kind of made it across there now. They're kind of everywhere. We sell a lot of, Hershey's not so much, but Hershey's smells like vomit. Well, it's curdled milk. It's curdled milk. Yeah. That's the process. The guy who invented that milk chocolate. That's his process. Well, that's why it smells like puke. Yeah. It's horrible. Yeah. Is it true that it's beeswax or doesn't melt? No. No, that's true. No. No. Is that not true? I've told somebody custom. I don't like an idiot kid. There's a, you know, who invented M&M's, the U.S. government because they wanted to put chocolate in rations packs for soldiers, but it would melt. So they asked the Mars Corporation to come up with a chocolate that would melt. So that's where they came with the candy shell. What about smarties? We don't have those here. Are you not? We have a candy called smarties, but it's like chalk. It's like little round pieces of chalk. You've got quite a lot of pieces of chokes. Yeah. So quite a few of them in the old theater boxes. Yeah. There's a lot of chalky. Well, so Boston was the candy capital of America for a long time. We had the most candy companies here until like the 70s. So you could go on tours of like the Neko factory when I was a kid and like there were parts of the city that just had this like sickly sweet smell. So we still have some of those companies here like the company that makes like Neko wafers and like you know squirrel nut zippers and Mary Janes and those kind of stuff they still make here. But it's all like old people candy that no one wants like do you like licorice and mint flavors? You know what you bad mouth licorice, we sell more licorice than anything else. Black licorice? Yeah. All those. We get I'd say 50% elderly customers. Well, yeah. But that's decent. They love the licorice. You might need a friend someday just change your stores logo to that logo. And you're like man business week we got a line out the door all the sudden. The thing is right. They forget that they've been to another sweet shop and they come to my sweet shop and they say last time the sweets I wanted but up there I'm like no they weren't. You went to a different shop. I know this shop you're coming in here and you're telling me where things are. I pot them there. Yeah. We don't even sell jobs. No. That's yeah. And somebody says and a bit just from that they go they just keep going no that you do sell it. I bought him for no you haven't. Yeah. And they'll keep doing it until eventually one day they'll come back and the wife has said to them no you did buy it from the other place and then they just won't sign in. Do you ever get the like I want to speak to the owner and you're like that's me. Yeah. I love that. That's the best. Yeah. I will walk out the back door and then walk back out again. Hello. Yeah. You do let me check. Can I help you? I'll just go get it. Yeah. That's the best. That's the only good thing about owning anything. As you could do that. Yeah. Have you ever had to ban anyone? Um. No. I've had kids stealing things. I wouldn't remember the faces enough to ban them anyway. Oh these kids are the same. I mean I've had to chase kids down. You allowed to slap them around for stealing like you are here? No. You're not even allowed to chase them down. But I have. Yeah. I mean as long as you don't, as long as I only touch the thing they've stole. Right. That's fine. So I mean literally there was a boy that would just take a drink from a fridge and just keep walking. So I would like, wait a second, I'll run out and I'll just grab the bottle of drink off him. I can't get in trouble for that. No. This was my bottle of drink. Especially when he trips over your foot accidentally and his teeth get knocked off. Yeah. That's what he told them. My, once a kid was picking on me when I was a kid and my dad wanted to beat him up but obviously you know that's frowned upon. So what my dad did was he grabbed the kid, put him in a headlock, took a permanent magic marker and drew a Hitler mustache on him which was on his face for a good week. Oh see I've got a door and I don't know how I'd deal with that kind of thing. Yeah. Bullies and things like that. Yeah. I don't know. And you may have seen them on some of the YouTube channels, Theo Kane, he makes toys. He told me that when he was a child, he's from up north and his dad was a bit stricter. When he was getting bullied at school, he came home and his dad said, right, you better go beat up than bullies or I'll beat you up. And I thought, my God, that's doubling down misery there. That is a terrible place to be. It's like the smoke, this whole pack of cigarettes till you vomit of getting beat up. Yeah. Faze. Man. Horrible. I mean, he's turned out to be well adjusted. So yeah, well, as far as you know, well, yeah, from Arkansas, you haven't been in his crawlspace. Uh, maybe you have, I don't know, that's a good YouTube video. Um, yeah, you get neighbors and all that kind of stuff for my Wednesday if there's anything. I got really into shows like grand designs and those sort of stuff when I was there, which oddly I get sort of the same sort of sense of satisfaction out of like that as I do have like watching your video. Really? Because it was a compliment, but yeah, you're sort of seeing a thing with it like we're going to turn this like disused campsite into a home, whatever. Um, and then the host is always like, I told them they couldn't do it. And then when they don't do it, he's like, I told you, just, you would not have any US show. I'll say, you know, I forget the people actually watch the videos for the builds and the crafting side of things. I'm too busy worried about the editing. Will you put a lot into the editing? Like you put a lot of good, like comedy bets into the editing, which I appreciate. You know, I've, I've slowed down a bit of like, it's a, it's a lot of work. I feel you know, because you're like, why am I even putting this effort in? Yeah. And I've done a few where I've not put those skits in and they've done better. I'm thinking maybe they just hate me. I'll just do this. No, I mean, I've, when I've sort of dipped my toe in video, which has been a huge failure, but like two years ago, I did, I did a video every day for Halloween about different like TV stuff that I did, like a half hour Thanksgiving special and a, and a special about Halloween and stuff. And the stuff that would get like thousands of views and go really far would be like some half ass thing that I didn't even put any effort into. And the thing I spent a week and I'm like, oh, it's really good. Nothing. Yeah. There's no rhyme or reason to it. I am you have a YouTube channel. I do. Yes. Yes. Have a few things on there. Check it out. There's some interesting stuff about old TV. This is good horror movie stuff on there. Speaking of horror movies, though, Wednesday, June 2nd, if you look on page 69, nice of the PDF, there is a still from a children's show that's been cut off. I can't tell what the show is not at 1 10 p.m., but it's Wayne something men. And it says, and box, find out rambling can be fun. So I don't know if box was a reoccurring character on this children's show, but it looks like something you've built. Well, I'm not looking at the wrong place, do you say page 69 of the PDF itself? Oh, yes. I know that box thing. That is terrifying. There's some body horror thing. So this was the thing that you were aware of previously? Yeah. Yes. This was a CITV. Well, I don't know if it was CITV at the time, but it was like three o'clock-ish, ready for when you get back from school. And this was like a box that talked? Yeah. I think they were postman or something like that. It's horrifying. And its head is open. It doesn't even have like a top on the box. So it's like this, this like sentient being with a big hole in its head and like a weird just like swirling blood and guts to sloshing about it. Did they put stuff in it? I think so, and she'd go, oh, I don't know if I believe you were not. Well, it could be true, you know, I think I saw something of that recently. I need to look this up because that is horrifying. You can imagine they're just sort of part of a woman into the car cubing. Yeah. And they did it so many times until they got the face of the right place. Yeah. They're like, it's horrible. Like, I don't know why you would make that and be like, kids, you know? Got it. It's what they want. Looking back, the kids show the creations were the things that scared you the most as a kid, I think. Oh, yes. And I have to say the UK ones were more terrifying than ours. Yeah. There was a show I watched recently called "Punky Brew", so that was a big show in the US. Oh, yes. Yes. And do you know which episode I'm going to talk about? "Parrows of Punky" with the Indian ghost. Yeah. Yeah. That was the storyline of it. Yeah. And it, he wrote it that same year that came out, but like six months later, I'm pretty sure he ripped that show off. It is very, very similar and it's terrifying. On my YouTube channel, I go through several "Punky Brewster" episodes. But there's one you're particularly like where, you know the serial killer, the Night Stalker? Yeah. Yeah. Richard Ramirez. That was featured on "Punky Brewster". What was it? Was she just sort of nervous about it? She was scared about the Night Stalker and it's like on the news and then like it doesn't get resolved and the lesson of the episode is her. So the premise of that show is this girl was abandoned in a shopping mall by her mother is homeless squatting in this apartment building in Chicago. And the superintendent, this confirmed bachelor superintendent just adopts her. And that's it. That's the sign anything. Nope. Not officially. You know, that's the premise of the show. So it got real weird. There's that episode. There's an episode where one of the kids almost dies because she gets trapped in a refrigerator. There's yeah. I had another, I have another video how there's a character named Alan on the show who you've seen in the "Parals of Punky" one. He's the one whose face has the green mouth and it's jiggling. Yeah. Horrible. Biggest dickhead ever written on television like there's an episode where he says the meanest thing I've ever heard on TV where they have a janitor who's in a savant. She plays the violin, but she's mentally challenged. And he's making fun of her and they've listened to classical music and she starts like miming with her like feather duster and he goes, "What are you going to do next? Play a mop solo." And she starts like crying. And then he goes, "Alan, you're going to hurt her feelings." And he goes, "She doesn't have any feelings. She's a..." and then says the R word you don't say anymore. And they're like, "Oh my God." And so I did this video about how he's an asshole. And the kid who was the actor emailed me and he's like, "This is great." I've got a lot of stuff. Yeah. It's yeah. "Punky Brewster" is some messed up stuff. But I don't think it was as scary as like, "Is it Rainbow with the Zippermouth guy who's basically David Cronenberg's character and nightbreed?" No, that "Parals of Punky Brewster" has haunted me my whole life. I've watched that. I was very young. I think you have these memories of shows you've watched and you've done it what they are. And you've got no way of finding it out. And I just so happened to manage to... I don't know how. It was only recently. It's haunted me for 45 years. 35 years. It is like... I've managed to solve all of these scary images from TV up to now. That was the last one I had to figure out. Oh, nice. I found it just the other day. Were there any other American ones or were they mostly UK ones? Mostly UK. One that was like a children's theatre thing where kids would write and direct shows. It was about a blob underneath a bed. I think a girl would chuck all of her food and all of her rubbish under a bed instead of getting rid of it. And then eventually it turned into like this big blob monster. That was stuck in my head for a long time. And the only reason I found that is because I don't know if you know of the YouTuber Ashens. No, no. It sounds like I would like it there. Yeah, he showed it on his stream and I want my God. Everything's clicking into place. You're not sure if you've imagined these things or if you actually saw them for real. Yeah, it isn't. It's weird because a lot of times they'll be like, "Oh, I know what it is now." And yeah, that was the thing before YouTube and stuff. You would say you saw these things and kids would be like, "You're a liar. That's not real." And then so seeing it again, I found is weirdly not cathartic because oftentimes I'll rewatch them and be like, "This is even more terrifying than I remembered." Yeah. Well, they are still scary. Yeah. I mean, yeah. It's bizarre. Yeah. But are you not relieved that, well, I wasn't that much of a wuss then because if it scares 40-year-old me, then I guess that you have to be scared. That is a glass half-full way of looking at it, I suppose. I do another video on my channel about there was a public service announcement about AIDS. And it's the most horrifying. I saw this ad once and I was completely terrified. And rewatching it, I was terrified and also felt really bad because it's also incredibly offensive and really dehumanizing to people with AIDS. But yeah, you should give it a watch and then let me know what you think. But yeah, that one I was like, "Oh, this is even worse than I thought." Thursday is the best night here. I watched the whole week. You got Ruby Wax's show The Full Wax, which I love Ruby Wax. Yeah. Is she known in America, Ruby Wax? Not at all. She was just known over here because she's American. Yes. Has zero presence here at all. She had a short-lived talk show in the late '90s on VH1 here after she was already a big star in the UK. And she would do specials where she interviewed celebrities, like that was her thing, right? She's married to Ed By. Wasn't she? Yes. She's a producer of the show and she was a stand-up. In this show, she's interviewing Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley, which is at the height of Absolutely Fabulous, so they're like massive stars, and Lauren Bacall in this episode. Hmm. Ed By also produced my favorite show as a child. Red Dwarf. I love Red Dwarf. You do? Yeah. But you only allowed to like the American part. Only the American part. Only the English. Yes. And Crayton, the only people that they have on it from the UK. Well, no. Cat is an image. Is they? They did two pilots at a barcode. I know that. The one I saw-- It's got Cray Berko as a lister. Cray Berko's great as a general rule, but not great as Lister. No. Lister's not supposed to be dashing the answer. No. Well, I think the thing that they always lose in US remakes of UK shows that don't work is class is not a thing here. Like the comedy inherent in culture clash of literally like class levels of like posh people. Like it just doesn't translate here, for whatever reason. And so that's like the key of like the lister and rema relationship. Is that? That's the key of a lot of our comedy, I think. Yeah. They have class. It doesn't work. And the reason the office works is because it's inherently someone who is explicitly the boss. So people get it, but like it just doesn't translate on other stuff. It's really strange. Like it just-- That's strange. Yeah. But like they made three different versions of faulty towers here, which I talked to John Kleece a whole day about it. And one of them, the US executives actually went, you know what would improve this show? We got rid of this bezel faulty character. And they made a show that was a remake of faulty towers without that character. And it was just about the hotel. I did say one of the American versions with the guy, the bad guy from Richie Rich. Oh, John Larricut. This game is. Yes. Was that one of them? Yeah. And the hotel was very fancy. Yeah. That was called Payne, I think. Yeah. And they did one also with B. Arthur from Golden Girls as the bezel faulty character, which actually was pretty decent. But it's just not like, why even remake the show? Just like make your own show that's like that. Well, it was only about six episodes, doesn't it? Yeah. It was six or seven. Huge failure. Just recycle. Yeah. The weirdest one is there is a US remake of coupling and coupling, which the UK version was very good, was just a friends rip off. So they did a US version of this UK friends rip off and it is one of the worst things I've ever seen in my life. I thought coupling was one of the worst things I've ever seen. It's better than France. I hated France. Is it? Yeah. It's better written. It's better written in my view, but it's very of its time. Yeah. I mean, I suppose I was in sort of sick form at that point, like 16 years old. I suppose France was. The US. You had to like France. The US version of men behaving badly. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. I love you as a big fan of the, I'm not sure if you're allowed to like the British version now. So it's very sexy. But that is the judge. That was the judge though. Yeah. Like you were supposed to laugh at that. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. It's still well written. The stock range I watched recently. The US version. Nope. The US pilot of the young ones. Oh boy. My God. And actually I had Henry Normal on and we talked about that the Royal Family is one of my favorite shows of all time. I think it's absolutely just a genius show and it's so good. They did a US remake set in Boston, set in Charlestown and it was called The Kennedys. And it is awful. Randy Quaid is the father. And he's like, I've never seen it like I really want to, but I kind of don't want to. But it's apparently just the worst. See my favorite comedy show of recently is Peep Show. Yes. They've never done a version of that. They've done a version of that. Two pilots here. The Kale who was also in the pilot of the IT crowd American version. They did a peep show about 10 years ago here. It didn't work. And then they tried to do another version here fairly recently and it was, they switched the leads to two females. It doesn't work. It's it's even peep show. I loved peep show and then it went too far like in the couple mid series like when they ate the dog. And I was like this. I can't. But you've never eaten a dog. Not accidentally. Yes. But that is a show I often quote. I often ask people if they're doing normal pooing. Okay. That's not normal pooing. Yes. You're doing, man. My favorite joke on Peep Show is when he's leaving a phone message and he signs it because he's leaving message and then he goes, "Mark." And then he's like, "It's such a funny idea." Oh, that's great. Yeah. Peep Show's great. There's also a thing on ITV1 that I mean, BBC1 called Attitude, Alcohol and Adultery. Again, sounds exciting. But then it's a documentary about the decadent lifestyle of the British aristocracy in Kenya between the wars. This was the birth of clickbait. Yeah. BBC back in the day. Oh, my goodness. Get me into the title. Get me into the title. There's also the comic strip presents their parody of The Crying Game, which is not the best one. Oh, I like comic strip presents. I love it. I have a few sort of memories of being scared of comic strip presents. There are a few episodes of that that were scary. Oh, yeah. The one with the turkey. Yeah. That one's really terrifying. The one with the k-bomb where they got turned into a punk. Yes. That one stuck out to me. I love the one with Peter Cook where he's the serial killer that lives next to him. I don't think I say that one. Oh, it's great. It's called like Mr. Blobby, but like Mr. Jolly or something, like Mr. Jolly has a job. And Peter Cook is this like really good. Yeah. And then the movie Kate Bush is really great. That's it. You know what terrified me? The Kate Bush video for the song experiment for, which I don't know if you've ever seen it. It's it stars all the people from the comic strip and I don't know if you know the song at all, but it's about a military experiment to make a sound that kills people. So the course is like they told me what they wanted was a sound that would kill someone. And so the video is like all the comics from people playing these military people testing these sounds on people like tied up like dying. It's so fucked up and terrifying. That sounds great. It's a great video, but it's really terrifying. Um, yeah, I was like, and it's all comedians in it, which made it like more disturbing because I was like, what are they doing to me? Have they done this? I see it. A big show in the UK is Eastenders and it's still going now. Do you know? Yeah. He's getting it. He hated it. It didn't air here. He hated it. No, but I have an American friend who pays. Was it BBC America? Yeah. You can get it here. But it did. They aired some of the Australian soaps that were big in the UK, like humming away and neighbors aired here for a bit, but not Eastenders and not, um, Coronation Street, like none of those created over here. I'll say a lot of those. If ever was down the road, technically Eastenders was between my local train station and the next station, it was a made up station between those two. I'm thinking, where? I can see you. The next station. It's yours. Cheers. Where is this? Yeah. Actually, in the other room, I have a teapot of the pub from Eastenders. Why? I think I bought it as my wife. I think I bought it from my wife as a joke when Christmas. It was good. Um, yeah. Uh, man. Oh, Crystal May is with Richard O'Brien. That's a show that terrified me when I saw it as an adult. That did not make it over here. Why is that terrifying? Well, because Richard O'Brien's kind of creepy. Just I think he's great, but he's kind of creepy. Yeah. He's so good in dark cities. Have you seen dark city? Yeah. Oh my God. Great and dark cities. So good in that. That's so good in that. Yeah. But so for the people who don't know, this was like a kid show like Double Dare, sort of, um, that was hosted by Richard O'Brien, like kind of being intentionally creepy. Well, I don't know if you could do anything else. Yeah. Well, I say I remembered, um, when I was a kid and I'd see someone from like Crystal Mayes like I was, and they would have a tiny role in Flash Golden. I'd be amazed. That'd be amazing to me. Yeah. Uh, but it's not really a massive do, is it? I mean, they got a TV show. They got their own TV show. They also have this tiny part. They only shot so many like movies in the UK that were like, so like, there's a bunch of movies that it's like, if you're an actor in the UK, you're probably in a Superman movie. Yeah. Like, you know, you're probably going to be in Flash Golden, you know. When I said at this point, I didn't know he'd written, let you rock your picture show on ever. Yeah. Which is his biggest claim to fame, isn't it? Or shock treatment. Yeah. I'd never watched that. It's good. But he double set. Is it good? So, I'm not a huge Rocky horror fan. I always contend that Brian DePalma's Phantom of the Paradise is the movie that should have the reputation Rocky horror has. I have that. Ready? So, well, I love that movie. But shock treatment, I actually like, and shock treatment is sort of a condemnation of reality TV and game shows in a way that's like decades ahead of its time and is also not as fun as right here and like more of a downer. But it stars Jessica Harper of Suspiria in the Susan Surrandon role. See, I wasn't a fan of Rocky horror. I still, I still not a fan. Yeah. I sort of, I was saying the songs, well, time walk is the only catchy song from the entire thing, I think, to be honest. Yeah. There's much better musicals out there, but people love that film. Oh, yeah. It was a big, it was a big like theater kid thing here, they'd go to the midnight shows and dress up and you couldn't see it anywhere except at a midnight show until I was about maybe 13 or 14, they made a big deal out of it coming out on VHS, like you could watch it at home for the first time. And I'm like, I love horror movies, it says horror, and I was like, what the fuck is this bullshit? Like, what is this? I hate this. The only horror is when meatloaf gets kind of like anything or anything else. Yeah. And I love Tim Curry, like, again, Tim Curry as Pennywise had never been topped. I watched that yesterday. I watched yesterday. I cannot beat him in that role, or him as darkness. Yeah, yeah. God. That is one of the films that did terrify this kid. I think it terrified everybody. It's supposed to. Yeah. It did what it was saying. And it's still scary now. Yeah. I think it's just, I think it's the reach he has it. I mean, it's like in The Exorcist, one of the scariest moments of that is when he hears Spare a, like, help out an old boy or fire there, because you know that the devil is everywhere. Yeah. And he knows everything. That's what it's like in it. Yeah. You can't really put your finger on this stuff as a kid, but as you get older and you watch the stuff again, you realize why it was us. You can't escape. There's no reprieve. And Stephen King stuff, especially here growing up, because the stuff's all set in New England and like, you go to Maine and you'd see the towns and they'd mention local things here, which made it even more terrifying because I'm like, I know where that is. Yeah. Well, already could have watched "Punky Brewster" about six months before. Yeah. And just off his head on cocaine. Yeah. And thought, hey, this is a great idea. You know what would improve this? An underage gangbang. Yeah. Yeah. The worst part of it, which was the equivalent of the film. I was watching it the other day. And the equivalent of them having the game. I was thinking this is a bit where they should have been fucking each other, but instead they, oh, the inhaler. Yes. Look at the inhaler. Yeah. Measure improvement. It is. Yeah. There are a few stupid king things that the film adaptation improves, like Cronenberg's dead zone, much better than the book improves on, doesn't make it a brain tumor and also has the structure where you don't need to see Greg Stilson every other chapter, like just have him coming at the end, perfect, makes the book much better. And then yeah, the TV version of it improves on a lot of that stuff that you just don't need. If they needed to feel connected, the boys will fuck them each other as well. But that's not hot. I don't know why you just wrote it. There's no justification for that included. And he was thinking to this day, we'll be like, oh, what the fuck I was thinking of that thing there? But he was on something. Yeah. He definitely ripped off Panki Brewster. Yeah. I'll stick. Yeah. I'm going to drive out to Bangor today and accuse him. I waited on him once when I worked at a steakhouse. Was he nice? Very nice. He had a filet mignon and a grape nut custard, and he tipped me well. Good. Yeah. I see round the twist is on here. Brian May. Well, it's the new adventure to the He-Man on the children's channel. That was bad. Yeah. They redesigned Skeletor, it just looked like garbage. Yeah. That was... I got into a relationship with somebody, and she knew I collected He-Man toys, and she got me one. I got you one in the blister Pank, and it was from the new adventures at He-Man. I'm like, "Oh, thank you." You tried. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, anime, he-Man, that... There is one last thing I want to mention here, because it's... I don't think it's still on, but on BBC Two on Friday night, 745, what the papers say. And this was on when I lived there. It would literally just be like a news presenter with all the newspapers like going, "Oh, and this newspaper says this. Where's the headline from this newspaper?" That's like, "Oh, this is on TV!" It's just like, "You're dead in the morning." Yeah, it's like, "Why is this on television?" That's literally just a guy going, "Oh, you see this in the paper?" Look at that. It's like minutes of him like, "I wetted up on it." Yeah. Yeah. Literally. Like, it's insane. Like, I was 2,000. I saw that on TV, and I'm like, "It's the new millennium, and there's a man on television on the BBC just showing you newspapers." Well, they do it now, but it's just somebody on there. Google page. Just look at it in the stories. People are wriggling. This one. Tomorrow's paper says this here, and I'm like, "Whoa, what?" We're going to check the weather now, and he just slides left. Right. There we go. I'm like, "Yeah, we could do this. I can get a paper. I know how to get a paper. You don't have special access to a paper." There's nothing. Well, you know what? Not everybody had 25 pence. That's true. Or a paper. That's true. Especially not if you've got to buy them all. Well, I was spending about three quid a day on that show. And they'd never go to page two. I tell you that. I think everyone watched that. So we'd be like, "Oh, tomorrow we've got a..." Thinking about that, that was terrible. Was it? Page three. Page three. You just need to have a pair of tips. As soon as you open this newspaper, there needs to be some tips, though. That fascinated me. I... Strange. I would go out of my way when I lived in the UK. There was a little news agent near the college, and I'm not even like a big "Hey, I want to look at Titty's guy." But I'd be like, "I'm going to go buy a lion bar and a newspaper that just has random tits on the third page because I cannot believe this is a thing." Do you remember anything on the second page? No. That along the third. No. Because those would be really shitty newspapers, too. Like generally, they'd be like tabloid-y. The sun. Yeah. Or David. It would just be like, "Jordan, is that the beach?" Or like, you know, something about Abu Hamza. I would literally go straight to the TV pages. Yeah. There's a child. Yeah. I mean, after page three. Well, yeah. But yeah. That was the TV page. Yeah. Very strange. Although, I will say, I enjoy some of the Fox's albums. Have a couple autographed LPC. Do you really? Yeah. She had albums. Oh, yeah. She had four records. Yeah. They're pretty decent. Had a great song in "Night Run L-Street Part Five." Really? Yeah. Not my favorite. Part four is my favorite. Part three is mine. Part three's pretty decent. That's everyone's favorite, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. The "Welcome to Primetime" bitches is big for people. But four, just something about four. The "Screaming Mad George Cockroach." Yeah. But that's a continuation. That is very much a continuation from three. Yes. Four. Yeah. Absolutely. But count it as one. We like the same film. Weird, Renny Harlan stuff. "Night Run L-Street Part Four" might be the movie I've had the most cast members of on the show. Look at that. Like four people from that movie. Maybe you had. I've had Toy New Kirk. I've had Lisa Wilcox. I've had someone else. What's the other person? I can't even remember now. Wow. It's been a lot of people. It's been like a thousand people on. Rachthys. I can't remember. I'm just impressed. Oh. It's, hey, you know. I live in America. They're around. I've had a lot of horror movie people on. You know, I've looked at the list of guests you've had and I'm very surprised that you asked me. Really? Yeah. It's just people who I like. How they do it and stuff that I think is interesting. No. I'm flattered. I'm honored, Kim. It's great. You're doing good stuff. I recommend the channel. I enjoyed very much. Hey. You do. That's great. Yeah. If anything's come across, it's that I know my film. Well, I think also I can recognize one of us and I go, "This guy is one of us." I'm like, "We'd have a good chat." And we did. Yeah. We did. Well, thank you for doing this. Thank you. Is this the end? That was a good way to bring it to a close there. It's Dan. Like I said, awesome dude. Follow his YouTube channel. You would not be disappointed. It's highly entertaining. Just a cool guy and it was like these UK editions. Let me know if you do. Mixing it up a little bit. You can email me. As I said before in the email. Drop me a message on the Patreon or on my YouTube channel, which I'll put a link to here as well. Watch people. I'm going to think they forget I have it. I'll just say they forget it. They don't know rather than just like, "I'm not interested in that." But I'll try to put more stuff on there if you'd like to see more videos on the YouTube channel. Anyway, I'll be here next week, so I hope you will, too, for a brand new edition of TV guidance. Counselor. No, I don't really want to see Karvy Cartel's shlom.
