- Hi, I'm Francis Kowyer, and I'm Angela V. Shelton. We are Frangel and welcome to our holiday special. - Hey, hey, hey, hey. - Happy holidays. Happy holidays, everybody. Guess what? We are opening the vaults of the Micro-Idiot Secret Stash. Whoosh, that's right. If you're not on Patreon and you haven't heard the Micro-Idiot, this is what we're doing. We're gonna be playing some of our favorite Micro-Idiot for you over this holiday break, so that you know what you've been missing and you come over enjoying Patreon. - Yes, we've got some exciting things happening at Patreon this in 2020, 2025, in 2020. - 2020, oh, I put on all the 2020s in there for all. - Oh, it's with the 2020. - Until we get it right, till we get it right. That's right, if you're a Patreon member, you get three Micro-Idiots a week. If you join now, there are over 850 video and audio feed only that you get to hear. You just have this huge wealth now to go check out on Patreon if you join now. Not only do you get three Micro-Idiots a week, you get access to our monthly live events. - Yes? - Our book club starting in 2020, 2025. - Yes, 2020, 2020s. - And, and, and, it's all commercial free. So go on over to Patreon, put in Frangela and get, I mean-- - Get your access. - Get your, get your, get your laughs. - Boom. - Get your key, get your key to success and mental health. - Yes. - Get all the joy that there can be all the beautiful black lady joy, it is, that's where it is. So go to Patreon, put in Frangela duo and enjoy your holidays. Be safe, we love you. - We love you. (upbeat music) - Hi, I'm Frances Cowier. - And I'm Angela V. Shelton. - We are Frangela and welcome to - Idiot of the week! - Micro-Idiot. - Their way of saying thank you to you, our Patreon friends for supporting us in this podcast, we thank you, we love you. - Thank you so much. Today's idiot comes to us from Russell S, Janice C, Lisa W. - Thank you so much. - Thank you so much. - Oh. - Okay, should I say it, Angela? - Yeah, 'cause I don't know if I can. - Man, with World War I explosive, lodged in his rectum sparks bomb scare, slash hospital evacuation. - Can you read that again just one more time before? - Man, with World War I, not two. - World War I. - World War I. - One. - Explosive, not even the Korean War, lodged in his rectum sparks bomb scare, hospital evacuation. A French hospital was partially evacuated after a senior citizen arrived with a World War I artillery shell, lodged in his rectum, lodged. The 88-year-old patient visited the hospital to have the antique explosive removed, but instead sparked a bomb scare. - Okay, okay. - Well, first I'd like to start with just some history, if I might. - Please, please. - World War I, for those of you who don't know, the official start date, if you will, is considered to be July 28th. Wait for it, 1914. - Right, 1914. - Now, I always put World War I more in 1920, but that's actually closer to where it ends, right? And we actually joined the war in 1917, which is also consequent, also unrelatedly the year of the Russian Revolution. So, 109 years ago, intentionally, but definitely about 100, right? At the, like more than 100, really, 100, you know, but 109 years ago, possibly. - Yes. - But it put out a artillery shell. Because as they do, they do, during the war. - During the war times. - During that's what they used, right? - At some point, and it doesn't see in here when, this French man, he found this shell. - That's right. - Now, look, now, let's walk down. Since you, you led us to the door, I'm gonna open this motherfucker up and walk through it. Okay? - Okay, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. - Let's start with, you don't start putting an object that measures eight inches long, more than two inches wide. That ain't your first time. - What are you trying to think? Wait, are you suggesting, Francis, that this vestibule had been permeated previously? - I believe by this artillery shell. (laughing) - I believe-- - You think this is a deja vu on this particular shell, Eve? - What I'm going to offer up is, this is something we used to do in the war. You know, guys, we get playing, you know, guys, you know. - We're sitting there in the trench-- - It's not the trench warfare times, right? - The trench, you got a, you know, you got a warm artillery shell. Who knows, who knows, who knows if that is happening? Okay? - Mm-hmm. - I'm just making it up, okay? But, what I am offering, I am saying that this man made me familiar with this piece. - This, this particular artillery shell. - This particular artillery shell. - I'm not saying to me, and I think what you're, what also was implied by that, and I agree with, is that his vestibule has been, has in fact been breached before by, with objects that are not intended. - Well, it's, you know what, I don't call it. Brace, let's call it, it's been a host. (laughing) - It's been a host, an unwelcomed. And I'm asking, because those who ever asked the booty, nobody ever said booty, would you like a guest? - What I'm saying, what I'm sitting here saying is, I am not in any way, I do not in any way, wanna sit here and have, I don't wanna fish wife about what's been in this man's ass. - Okay, this has been, this has been this. But the minute we have to call a bomb started to the area, it has become everybody's business. - It has become a host business. - The UN's business, that is the problem here. And I'm gonna tell you something, let me tell you something, this shit pissed me off, because number one, I'd like to apologize to every other person who has been called out for shoving stuff in their vestibule. - I mean, because you know what they didn't do, you know what they didn't do, is need the bomb squad. - No, they didn't, they didn't need that. - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, okay, it didn't turn into a fucking Grey's Anatomy episode. We didn't have to know history. - No, we didn't. - An antique her out, we didn't have to cross several disciplines to ascertain. They just had to get some special four steps, maybe have some unpleasant surgery, but this man, this, your pig, and your 88 years old, okay? - Listen, you're not even old enough for this to be the artillery you have access to. - No, also, let me say this. He is lucky this happened in France, because if it had happened at St. Street Justice, you would have been rolled right on past to a field, out in the middle of nowhere. - That's what I'm saying, that's exactly what I'm saying. In fact, it just now occurred to me, maybe we could cross purposes. And when somebody comes in to St. Street Justice with something explosive in their ass, we send them to some place where we need something exploded. - Like, if there's a building we need demolished, and we say, here's this, and here's some, what's a nice animal? You know, what's a nice brain? - Some fleecks, and some ky, and some ky. - And we hope it works out, we hope it works out. - We really do, 'cause you know what? Oftentimes, what goes in comes out. We got snipers around the edge of this area, so don't even try to walk out, 'cause we'll just shoot you. Okay, but we don't spend time, and we don't call the bomb scare team. We don't call them out on stuff you put in your ass. This is my problem, the quotes run this, they said an emergency occurred. And here we go, around between 9 p.m. and 1130 p.m. on a Saturday evening. Now, let me tell you, this was early in the evening for this bullshit, and also, I need to say this. - Well, he's 88. - He's 88, so they do things like this. - And you know what, that is 4.30 a.m. for 88. - 'Cause that's what it is! - You're right, you're right, you're right. - Also, that ordinance had been in his ass a while, and by the time he tried it, to ask for help, 'cause he- - Did you think so? - Didn't get it out. Of course! - I bet you won in there more than seven minutes, because this is my thing, he went, it takes you about four, five minutes, before you realize four, five minutes have passed, right? - Yeah. - And then I'm gonna give you another two minutes, before you go, oh, I shouldn't try this hard, because this actually could explode. Now, my problem is, this actually should've, it could explode, should've happened a long, but before the assertion! - Oh! - So you're saying, let me, let me, let me clarify, I need clarity. - Oh, I understand. - So you're saying, that, I should think about, whether or not, the thing I'm going to, I'm even thinking about, inserting inside of my anus, can explode! - And, it never ends. - So you are not gonna put, insert it. - And what we always say, and can I get this out, does it have a plan, or any way for me to remove it? - I'm gonna take it. - That's, that's question number one. Can this be, and this is, you know what, this is a really good mindfulness of ass insertion list. Okay, number one, is it something that was ever intended to go into somebody's ass? - You know what, you know what, that's the best, the most important scientific question. And let me tell you, let me tell you something, let me tell you something, let me tell you something. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, I've done weird things. I've done weird things. - Okay. - But, you know, when you've learned, when you learn, that there are items, when you learn that there are places that you can go and get whatever specific to you in your taste. - Right. - I'm gonna invite you to do, you a grown person, especially if you listen to this podcast. Okay, you grown, you can enjoy yourself. You don't have to have shame about something. - No, you don't. - You can bless your own joy. - Unless, it also brings the bomb squad. - That's right. - That is a important caveat. - That's right. Because you put in something in your ass, that don't belong there. - Apparently, the bomb disposable experts at the scene determined there was little possibility, little is enough any, okay. Possibly the show would explode inside the man. They reassured us by telling us that it was a collector's item from First World War used by the French military. - A collector, is it still a collector's item? - I would like to talk to an antique girl or a historian of old objects, whatever. To ask them, was this being erectively inserted and removed? Is it still in what we call collector's condition? - That's what I need to know that. Also, I will say, as a history major, somebody with a B.A. in his references, you know my fondness for the subject. Remember, I am, I understand, I understand the joy, the curiosity, the awe, that may have come with the discovery of this show. I do, I don't want to, I don't want to ignore that if I found something like that, I might have a moment of, ooh, ooh, ooh. - You know, and here's something you don't appreciate. You appreciated historical providence. - I do. - I also appreciate the fact that it's a motherfucking bomb. - Right, right. And they say that it is believed that the patient inserted the item up as, and it's for sexual pleasure, I hope. I will explore. - Oh, right, whatever. It better have been, please Lord. - Was it a suicide attack? - Was it a suicide attack? - I mean, sexual pleasure, that it wasn't, that he didn't owe somebody, that it wasn't a threat. - But this is how you know it's France. This is how you know it's France, 'cause the court is an apple, a mango, or even a can of shaving foam. We are used to finding unusual objects inserted where they shouldn't be. But a shell, never. Thank you, France, because you know what? They have better attitudes about sex. - Yes, they do. - They have better, they are less prudish, and less shameful, around sex. So, this is the first time we've had a medical professional cop to having seen a ton of this. - That's right. - Okay. Every other story, they're like, you know, this is unusual, we've heard of rare cases, but we even have, no, they're like, now we see this out of the mango. - They got apples, can of shaving cream. - That was yesterday. Like, they're not even, what they're upset about, quite rightly, is the shell. It's respect for history. The disrespect for antiquities, you know. I mean, what is wrong with the 88-year-olds of today? That's why I have to ask myself. - Let me tell you, the medics were forced to take the elderly man into surgery, cutting open his abdomen to remove the relic. Let me tell you something. If you've got to remove a relic, you've got to cut me open. - When you are a relic, by some people, it's a catch. I'm trying to be kind. - Hey, but these people have pushed me, Francis. They've pushed me. Francis, there was a time in this country. - Actually, there was a time. - There was a time in this country when people went to med school, they were learning how to save lives. So, it took an oaks, an oaks, to never do hard, never do hard, right? And to try to make people well. But in that was the assumption of the things not making them well, would be things that they had no control over to some extent, right? - Accidents, aging, the effects of perhaps some long-term lifestyle issues, but you don't specifically know, you eat a bunch of, so you eat steak your whole life, you're not trying to hurt yourself. - Right. - But when you put an entire village, okay, in danger, from some shit that's 109 years old, that you decided to put in your ass. - We got to talk about you, and we got to take away, I'm gonna tell you something, he's done making decisions for himself. - It's the time that's country, we really know, this person will show them making decisions for themselves. - Our friends will scow you. - I'm Angela V. Shelton. - We are friends. Let thank you so much for listening too. - Get it! Oh boy, we're micro-idiot. - Thank you again, for all your support and we love Laura. (upbeat music) (thunder rumbles) - Oops! (whooshing) - Hi, I'm Frances Scowyer, and I'm Angela V. Shelton. We are friends, and welcome too. - Idiot of the way. - Micro-idiot. - There, thank you, President T, for being such wonderful supporters of this Black woman-owned podcast, thank you. - Thank you. Today's idiot comes to us by way of Donny J. Thank you. Man swallows nail cutter, or I would like to say nail clipper, I don't like the word cutter. And forgets until doctors find it when Angela. - Okay, eight years later. - Eight years later. - Eight years later. - Okay, first of all, I think it's generous of your problem with that sentence to have been the use of cutter versus clipper. I prefer clipper. That's generous of you. There are so many problems, so many problems with this. You know, first thing comes to mind, ginkgo biloba. Maybe some centrum silver. - Totally. - What else do they want? Maybe some turmeric. That seems to heal everything. - Well, here's the thing. A man swaddled a nail clipper, and then forgot all about it until eight years later, when doctors, while treating him for a stomach ache, discovered the grooming tool in his body and subsequently removed it. The 38-year-old man who was 30. - Okay. - When he swallowed it, said he had not told his parents or family members when the incident happened, and stayed quiet about it, as there was no pain and eventually forgot about it. He thought he'd pass it. - Let me tell you a little something. Little something, little something. We'll get to work the incident, a little something about passing it. We can't say anyone has passed anything until we witnessed the passing. - That's right. - And I'm sorry to say, the only way is to do a little thing. - That's right. I'm telling you, I'm just, I'm not reveling in putting out this information. It gives me the story. - Well, you know why, Angela, and I'm gonna tell you why you feel the real need to get clarity on this, because I've seen you taking sample after sample, after sample of dog poop. - That's right. I've had fecal matter to run apart, if you will, or dissected by a healthcare professional in front of my face. I've had a vet go. Can you explain each one of these items? (laughing) - This cornucopia of wrong and indigestible, that I found in your dog's poop just now. And I'm talking it was just a plethora, just a really a good sampling of all the substances in our immediate area. - Exactly. So I know you're right, Francis. I am familiar with this. - I know you know this. Okay, but a lot of time in this area. - Yeah, I know, but with canine, I know. - Admittedly, a lot less with people, but canine. - So at the end of the day, this kind of hope and prayer that it kind of gets through you, and that you can get vague about the fact that you swallow a lump of metal. And then get even bigger about if whether or not it ever left your body. - Yeah, yeah, see, this is the problem. This is the problem, this is the problem. You 38, this is the problem. And this is the thing. This Neil, trimmer, clipper, cutter, incident, was an incident. It's not like, this is the thing. It's not like he got drunk and doesn't remember. - Right. - It's not like it's some, oh, I was pledging, you know, five-camera dumbass. And I, you know, they made us swallow objects. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He was 30, he was eight years ago, who's 30? - Okay. - When he swallowed the nail clipper, he said he had not told his parents or family members when the incident had happened because the thing was that this is a quote, he said, when I was 30, I was admitted to a rehabilitation center to get rid of alcoholism. One day, when I felt tortured being there, I swallowed a nail cutter and anger and then informed the staff. He, a staff member, then told me to eat two bananas and that it would go out of the body in the morning. I thought it had gone out of the body in the morning, but it was still there and I started feeling pain and got myself admitted to hospital. - Eight years later? - That's the part that's confusing because it sounds like the way he says that is I got admitted to the hospital for this eight years ago. But if I go to the hospital, like I go to the hospital, I get a little bit more thorough than, did it happen? Okay, you can go, that's not... - No. - No. - How they roll? - No, what he did was, like I said, he sat in vagueness, somebody said eat two bananas, it'll go through your body. Oh, like magic, like it's gonna break down. (laughing) What comes in must come out. - You know, Angela, Angela, there was a time in this country. - There was a time in this country. Well, if you swallowed something that was metal and you were above the age of five, you did something about it. - Thank you, Francis. You didn't go, I'm gonna go to the hospital to emerge soon 'cause I swallowed something that's not digestible and frankly had sharp edges and could hurt me. - Oh wait, I got distracted and forgot about that shit. - No, no, no. - Eight years? - Eight years, no, no, nobody's that busy. - I'm Francis Kalyer, I'm Angela V. Shelton. - We are, Prangela, thank you so much for listening, too. - Idiot, oh, oh, wait. - Micro-idiot, thank you again for all your support. We love you, brother. ♪ Oh no, it's my Tommy Egg ♪ ♪ I have made a big mistake ♪ ♪ Toot, toot, toot, toot ♪ ♪ Passing gas, poo, poo, poo, poo ♪ ♪ Come fast, come out fast ♪ - We'll be right back, but while we're going, guess what? - You can do, you can go sign up for Patreon. You can go sign up for Patreon right now. I know I'm gonna stop you. In fact, people are going to applaud you and join the community and support this Black woman-owned business. - Welcome back. - That's right, you know what you can do right now? Why you, why you listening? You can slide off for Patreon. - Hi, I'm Francis Kalyer, and I'm Angela V. Shelton. We are, Prangela, and welcome to ♪ Idiot, oh, oh, wait ♪ - Micro-idiot. - Sir, thank you, Gef, our present to you, just a little offering for being our Patreon sponsors and keeping us alive 'cause you're heroes. - You're so grateful to you, so, so, so grateful. - Today's idiot comes to us from the amazing vice president of everything, anti-dom. Come on, H. - Yes. - Thank you, president. - Black woman makes weaves for horses. - Okay, okay, okay. - I know, there's some of you saying, this ain't already happening. You mean it's not right? - I know, right? Like, why is this news? - You mean you can tell me? - Why is this news? - Well, then you have to think about it. It's like, somebody had to do it. - Somebody had to do it. - But today has to do it. - See, here's the thing. A lot of things go through your head, but there is a one-minute-long documentary, which I say could be about 20 seconds shorter. There's like a one-minute documentary you can watch, and it will show you this, and this is like, at first, when you're minute, you're like, oh, this definitely goes in, but then if you watch this one minute, I swear to you, a minute has never changed me so aggressively. At the end of it, I was like, this is sweet. - This is beautiful. - Slee, this woman, it's like she has found her passion. I love the idea of black people becoming into the equestrian space, which has been very white. - Well, you know what? It makes me go. When we touch a space, we bring our spirit to it. - We break it better. - We make it better. - You know what? And it reminds me that, you know, for black folk, you know, we just bring, like I say, our spirit to it. It doesn't matter that the horse has a mane down to the ground. And now it's gonna have afro puffs. - Need some flair, some colors. - And colors. - It's gonna bring it like it's happy as Friday. You know what I'm saying? Like, and when do you start to see horses with bling? - Wait 'til you start to see some serious horse grills. 'Cause that is what I'm expecting. I need this to keep going up. I need grills. I need some good bling. I need some good ice all on 'em. - You know, and this reminds me of, in this moment, you know, Rick James had seven white Arabian horses. - Of course he did. - Of course. - I'm not just assume that. (laughing) - I should have just assumed that. - He had seven white Arabians and he's going from right. - Of course he did. - Of course he did. And you know what? And we forget about how many, you know, like again, when we're allowed into those spaces and we allow ourselves into those spaces and allow ourselves to be in those space, be ourselves in those spaces. - Who knows what equestrian riding could become? - Well, this is my thing. Now I feel like we got to find this woman and invest. You know what I'm saying? Like we need to sponsor. Fragile needs a horse. You know what I mean? Like we need to sponsor. I wanna see the fragile horse at the Kentucky Derby and autumn races. - That's right. - That's what's called not the freakneck. The freakness. The freakneck ain't gonna rename the freakness to freakness. That's what it is. When black people do it, it's gonna be the freakness. - It's the freakness. Stop the freakness. - The freakness? Not the freakness. That's gonna be the black freakness. - Yes. - I'm just saying you heard it here first, okay? First, we got to take over horses. - Angela? - Angela, there was a time in this country. - There was a time. - There was a time in this country when horses used to be bland. - That's right. - Oh, just put a little bride alone. - Yeah, a little brain in its head. - People didn't even try, didn't even try. - For instance, they tried it and went try. - You know, horses live in a life of awful stuff. - That's awesome. - Realization. - Horses can be pimps, too. - Yeah. - Oh, Francis Collier. - I'm Angela V. Shelton, the equestrian. - We are a Prandtl. - That's Prandtl up. - We, we, we, we, we, we. - Ah. - Can you hear that? - Ah, no. - That's us doing, we're doing all some things. - Beaten the crap out of my titties. - Oh, man. - That hurt. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Mike Rowan is. - Thank you, thank you, dude. - We love you, Laura. (tires screeching) (buzzer buzzing) - Hi, I'm Francis Collier. - Sorry, I just read the headline. - I'm Angela V. Shelton, I forgot about this one. - We forgot about this one. - We are a Prandtl. - And welcome to. - It is. - Oh, no, ooh. - Ooh, baby, Mike Rowan idiot. - Ooh. - So, thank you, President, to you. And you are welcome for today. (laughing) - You are. Let me tell you, okay. Today's idiot is from Donnie J. Thank you very much. - I can't, I don't think I can read this. - Okay, man has to have penis amputated after quote, "Crazy ecstasy fueled 24-hour sex marathon." You know what, all right. I'm gonna give you, I'm gonna give you style points. You fucked your dick off. You fucked his dick off. You fucked to your dick dropped. It would be impressive if it wasn't awful. To me, you have, you have, you've beat the gold. You don't need to have sex ever again. - Well, you can't. - So, that's the thing. - Yeah, you can't. So, that's done. - But because to me. - I hope so. You tried to have all the feelings, all the sex at one time. - Mm-hmm. - And you did. - I hope you accomplished it. I hope you accomplished it. - And you did. I hope it was fulfilling. I hope it was everything. Your liminal space told you it would be. - I'm serious. I don't know of a phrase or description of a person. When I heard, when you read or hear this first part of this, there's no creature more terrifying than a 50-year-old German tourist. (laughs) Doesn't it make you afraid? The minute I say it, 50-year-old German tourist. You're like, what happened, what's happening, what's going on, who got hurt, what's that going on? - First of all, can we just say in the privacy and sanctity of Patreon, you don't never want to come across some German porn. Okay? - No, you're not ready for it, you're not ready for it. - No, I don't even know, I'm not ready for it. I'm never gonna be ready for it. You're never, you just, what, I'm just telling you. - German is an adjective. I'm sorry, I have to say it's something you should always give you pause. - Okay. - But they're going, well, it's a very German go, wait, was it? - No, no, no, no, no. - What does that mean? Don't even touch, don't touch, play. What does that mean? Don't forget my vision, what does that mean? - Okay. - Get this clear before you start. Let me tell you something, you need to have several safe words, not just one, a whole slew, a lexicon. - I'm telling you, I'm telling you at password keys and keys to locks, hand signals, eye signals, and this is gonna be some masks and some loot. You ain't ready for this work. - You're not ready. - You're not ready. - You're not ready. - Oh, a 50 year old German tourist is still reportedly in a serious condition at an Italian hospital, the worst combination of nationalities ever. Italian hospital after the epic sex session left him with, oh, this was hard to say. Necrosis of the genitals, you fucked all. To your dick, her blood, charblow. Necrosis of the genitals, oh, my God. - Let me tell you what you really don't wanna have at Safe Street Justice. This is the thing you really don't wanna have because first of all, we're gonna gather the entire staff. - The entire staff. - We're gonna have to have your discussion, your consultation, and the auditorium so everybody can witness. - Right, and the mics will be on. - The mics are gonna be hot, we're gonna have, we're gonna have a, you know, video display. - Absolutely. - Of your area, and we're gonna be like, this is what addiction looks like, this is what you're gonna be like. - We're gonna have laser pointers. - This is necrosis of the genitals. - Everyone say it. - Necrosis. - What is the German tourist has? - Necrosis of the genitals. - 'Cause you are what we call a cautionary tale. A German tourist is in serious condition in a hospital in Italy after a drug-fueled 24-hour sex session. - 24-hour, you don't even do nothing for 24-hour straight. - Doctors reportedly had to amputate the 50-year-old man's penis after the holiday maker's ecstasy and biagra sex marathon. - No, don't call it a holiday maker suffering from septic shock. - Septic shock, you fucked yourself in the septic shock. Let me tell you shock, don't call him a holiday maker. That makes it sound warm and cozy and nostalgic. No, we thought a holiday maker, we didn't use a freaky fuck who fucks his dick off. That's what you call, freaky fuck dick off. That's what you call him. - Yes, well-- - SSDF or DL. FFDL, that's what he is. - It wasn't even just his penis, it was-- - Everything in the earring. - It was necrosis of his penis and his scrotum. - His bally walls. - Oh, his wall. - Are you treated like this? - It's coddle-dumbles. I mean, I thought, okay, answer seriously, seriously. I missed that on the first read. - Does it scrotum? - Because the first, you don't know what this means and what this, I'm just gonna say to how I feel it. Initially, I felt better because I thought he had at least 50% left. - Yeah. - Oh, you know what, do you value the penis and the scrotal sex equally? 'Cause I think the dick is worth more. - Well, of course, you need it, you utilize it, what have you. - I think the dick is a good, this is a good 75 to 25, so-- - But I'm an attention ball giver. - But I think that the pleasure center for realsies? - Right, yes, well, yes, yes, yes. - I'm glad we're having this discussion 'cause I don't think we've gotten into this enough. - No, not enough, no, but here we go. The German man and his wife-- Okay, what has been described as a quote, "Crazy marathon sex session after taking the party drug at their holiday apartment." Okay, let's stop there, there's a lot wrong here. We just gonna say, first of all, your dick don't need to be hard for one person for 24 hours. - Oh, because she would have the closest of the genitalia also. - So that means that at your holiday maker party, at your holiday apartment-- - Which I would like to flag the term holiday apartment. - I bet you you entertained other people. Well, I need you to have, or else we need to look at them panties and see how Miss Lady doing because-- - 'Cause sweetie, we need to check. We need to check. - We need to check. - We need to check. - I'm gonna check on the lips. I'm gonna check on the lip check. - There is no such thing as a holiday apartment. - Yes, okay. - Local media report that after waking up the following morning, the man felt seriously ill. - His dick hurt. Don't make it sound like he got the flu. Look, he under the button. - And presented himself at the emergency room at the hospital. He's a really, he presented his dick at the hospital. He was just like, "This is wrong." - He didn't fucking face off. - He didn't die. - Hallelujah, yeah, because I'm gonna tell you something. What, I better be serious from the process of the lips. - No, don't look like it. Look like he was given what he was getting. - That's right, okay. - So apparently, the ecstasy is notorious for lowering inhibitions and making people-- - What? - Protecting the school. - Where in the ecstasy? - More interested in sex. - Okay. Unfortunately for men, especially, it interferes with the nerve impulses that make erections possible. So that's the thing with ecstasy, right? It gets you excited, but you can't perform, okay? So, some men have been known to try to counter the erection dampening effects of MDA. M-D-M-A, I'm sorry. By taking Viagra or similar. So, and you know it wasn't real Viagra, it was something else he was probably cocked telling with it, right? - Yeah. What are you not a pharmacist? - Stop. - Here it is. And the place to be doing chemistry experiments is not on the inside of your body. - You know, I do have to say to myself, if you have to do all this to have it, is it worth having? - Well, that's just, I'm asking. I'm not judging that, I'm asking that. Because for me, you know, I have not fully explored what I can do without drugs. - Well, because ecstasy stimulates the cardiovascular system and increases the heart rate, blood pressure, and body temperature while Viagra has the opposite effect on blood pressure. The user's heart can go into overdrive in an attempt to normalize the blood pressure. One don't cancel one out, okay? You're not a chemist. - No, and they don't work together like a good team either. - Okay, so rather than canceling each other out, the effects of both could cause a dangerously high pulse rate, especially in someone with preexisting heart disease. So you can't fuck her. See, this is the thing with older men, right? So now you wanna try everything. You wanna experience it all. You can't imitate some boo-boo, you can't experience it all. You just can't. You just can't. - And seriously, you're 50. If you haven't figured this part out about life, sometimes you can't give what you want. But if you try sometimes, it's my fun. You get what you need. - You don't actually, there was a time in this country. - It was fun, okay. - That was fun. - There was a time in this country that if your dick was flat, flattered in a tire, then that's just what it was. - That's just what it was. - That's just what it was. - And you know what? You said that, "Did Jesus forgive me one?" Because you know what you did have? - What didn't you have? - You didn't have necrosis. - I mean, all your genitalia. - Is there anything you want to hear less? - No. - From any kind of medical facility? - No. - Then I'm sorry, so you have necrosis of the genitalia, which is quite simply a.k.a. dendic. - I'm Francis Kalyan. - I'm Angela B. Shelton. - We are Franchella, thank you so much for listening to. - Thank you so much for listening to. - I'm Franchella, bye bye bye. - Bye bye bye, bye bye bye. - My pro idiot. - Thank you again for all your support, and we love you and we love you Laura. - Crikey fuck dick off. - I'm Francis Kalyan. - And I'm Angela B. Shelton. - We are Franchella, thank you so much for listening to. - Our holiday special. - What, what, what? - We want to thank you. Go ahead and go on over to Patreon and sign up so you have access to all of these micro idiots and so much more. - Happy holidays, we love you. - At King Super's, an annual boost membership just got even better. Now you can choose from Disney+ with ads, Hulu with ads, or ESPN+ on us when you sign up. Plus, enjoy unlimited free delivery, double fuel points, exclusive offers, and free items. Sign up for a boost membership today. It's an easier way to save, including new streaming options to relax with while we deliver your groceries. 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