--Wait, you have a TV? --No. I don't like to read the TV guide. Read the TV guide. Don't need a TV. Hello everybody. Welcome to TV Guidance Counselor. I am Ken Reed, as always. I am your TV Guidance Counselor. And we have a very special edition of the show today. I'm calling it our Green Room edition of the show, which I will explain in a moment. This is the show where I discuss the difficult television viewing choices of our past using back issues of TV Guid as the springboard for the conversation. And it is a lot of fun. If you're checking the show out for the first time due to either of my guests, welcome to the show. I think you will enjoy it very much. And the reason this show is different today is because I have two guests on the show. Now, I have had two guests in the past, but I have interviewed them concurrently. This is actually sort of two mini episodes that I've put together to make one episode of the show. Normally, my conversations with people hover around an hour to 90 minutes or in the case of Greg Proops about three hours, and then I have to edit it down to two hours and 15 minutes. But today, I have two shorter conversations with two very good guests. Reason being that I always try to grab people when they come through Boston, or if I am doing a comedy festival or on the road somewhere, I try to grab great guests when I can. And occasionally, people are only able to offer me a reasonable amount of time with their busy schedules. So 20 minutes here, 40 minutes there, which I gratefully accept if they are gracious enough to offer me that time. And that is what happened here. My first guest today is Lisa Loeb, and my second guest is Beth Stelling. Lisa Loeb was recently in the Boston area performing, and I was lucky enough. And she was nice enough to take some time before her show to talk to me about old television. So here we go. Let's start off first with Lisa Lo, where we talk about some 70s television shows. Before her recent show here at the Bull Run in Shirley Mass, here's Lisa Loeb. Is Lisa Loeb? Hello. Thank you so much for doing this. Thank you. I was very intrigued when you reached out to me about this awesome... It's a weird concept. It's a great concept. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I actually just spent the day driving from one, I'm on tour, and we were driving from one city to another. And my tour manager put together a compilation of songs, just little tidbits of songs of every number one hit for the first five years of the 70s. Oh, wow. And it just, you know, it was just like little tidbits, and it's just freaking me out. I can remember my Barbies and my, just the specific toys and the Lucite bracelet and the hot chocolate candle with a fake marshmallow at my friend's house. Yeah, you have a like flash back. It's just like all in my brain, I spent so much time listening to music on my clock radio or in a car with the station wagon or watching TV. So this is perfect. Yeah, and it's interesting and a lot of the things we talk about on the show because it's sort of before people were able to watch or listen to whatever they want, whenever they want. Oh, yeah. Was you just were subjected to whatever was on. Exactly. Which is good and bad because you end up finding a lot of stuff that you probably would have never liked otherwise. Right. You thought you had choice. Yeah, but you don't. And you grew up in Dallas. I grew up mostly in Dallas, Texas. Okay. That's where I consider my hometown. No, you were, were you living there during the Dallas era? I was living there during the Dallas era, but even at that time, I feel like some of my friends and I shied away from like mainstream culture. Right. Looking back, if I were to look in the TV guide of that era, I probably would have realized I was totally immersed in mainstream culture, but some reason I didn't really watch Dallas, but I remember watching part of the episode of Who Shot J.R. and I did have little hair breaths. We had a lot of personalized hair breaths with body letters and there were even personalized little hair breaths that said Who Shot J.R. Was it, because I think you're the first person I've talked to who grew up in Dallas around the Dallas era and was there like resentment? It's like, that's not how Dallas is. Yeah, there's always a little resentment around TV shows. My dad's a doctor and you know, you watch E.R. you're like, well, that's not really what the doctor's like. Whatever the show is, you're like, I watch something about the music business. Like, well, that's not really what the music business is like. The monkeys is not accurate, is that what we're trying to say? Oh my god, the monkeys is amazing. That's like a whole other world into itself. Oh, I love monkeys. I actually really like the new monkeys as well, if you remember that from '87. Oh, I don't know if I ever saw the new monkeys. It was like a one-season thing. It was when the monkeys became very popular again because MTV was showing them around us back to back with the young ones, which made perfect sense. And they tried to relaunch with like a new monkeys and it was a huge bomb, but it was a fun show. Too bad. Yeah, I don't think I saw it. I was in college at that point, really like against whatever was popular. Mass media, what do you think that's what college is for? Yeah. So in this, I think the one you grab there, it looks like about 1978 or so. I grabbed it. The cover is Chico and the Man, Freddy Prince and Jack Albertson, Chico and the Man. And I grabbed it because in the car during my 1970s music thing, I heard the song by Wings. And I always thought they were singing about Chico and the Man. They very well could be. Has anyone ever directly asked Paul McCartney if he was singing about Chico and the Man? I don't know. I think it came right like right after this. This is 1978. It looks like it's 1978. It'll be in the on the top. It should be here, but it's not. It's worn down. If you open it up on any page in there and the top, like on the paper. Oh, I see. Yeah, the top it'll have. Oh, 1974. Okay. So I was about six years old. Okay. All right. I just did the math. Whatever the numbers, I'm two years older than that last number. I always do that. I have a math like 68. I was born in 68, 68, 69. I was one, 69, 70. Yeah, you're the mental. We get the number line. So I'm six. Yeah. So would you watch on TV at that age? Probably. Do you have siblings, right? I do. I have an older brother and a younger sister and a younger brother. Okay. So it'll be interesting to see if I actually watched any of this. My TV might have existed mainly out of a Sesame Street. We might have to choose another one, but I did watch Chico and the Man, but maybe they were reruns a lot. Should I choose something a little later? We get a 1981. I think that's 78 there. Is that Robert? Yeah. Robert. I did a movie with Robert, Eric's son. Oh, really? It was like a horror movie. Serial Killing for Dummies. Oh, next one. He played my kind of boyfriend. I was a big fan of Spencer for hire. Oh, my gosh. As you can imagine growing up in Boston. Perfect. Yeah. Here's a Monday evening, 7.30 p.m. Yeah. What would you go for? Oh, $25,000 pyramid. I've been on that show with Donnie with Donnie Osmond. Oh, excellent. This one's featured Penny Marshall and Robert Klein. I think when I was a kid, I would have thought that was really, really boring. Consumer buy line, do supermarket games, add to the cost of food. That's very exciting. The newlywed game. Was there anything? The newlywed game is on. Oh, my God. I totally would watch either the newlywed game, because it was so funny. Yeah. And it was kind of like, even still in the late '80s. So, newlywed game you watched, but was there anything like off limits? Because some people-- Well, newlywed gamers should be a little bit off limits, because it's a little bit racy. And in my mind, I see 90s. I see like nylon 90s. I'm like-- I think that's very 70s. Whoopi came up all the time. All that stuff. I feel like there's a lot of that happening. And so, I don't know if anything was off limits per se. I think bedtime usually dictated things that we were not allowed to watch. I did watch TV at my friend Adrienne's house, and we watched a lot of later night TV. We'd always watch Monty Python when it came on late at night. Oh, TV, yes. Yeah, but it was that. It's education. Yeah. And we had also watched Fernwood Tonight, which we loved. Our friend's father, he wrote comedy a little bit, even though he's also an economist. And my parents let us watch a lot of stuff. So, we were really into the variety shows and comedy. Which were huge. Muppet shows. Variety shows. I think today, I realized that variety shows and the songs in the 70s, I just-- I thought it was such a magical, amazing world. I mean, Cher, Sonny and Cher, Johnny and Marie. It was glorious. And Carol Burnett. Yes, Carol Burnett was on. Oh, so hilarious. And then the MTM shows would be after that. It was such a weird time, too, because you had sort of old Hollywood that was dying. But this new stuff coming up and everything was sort of a mixture of we have a lot of money. So, we're gonna just throw everything at this variety show. But they were funny and the people were actually talented. It was an era where people could go out and really sing their songs or dance. They were dancers and singers and real band people playing in a band. And they'd have to do everything. Like they'd play in the band and then have to do a comedy sketch. And then doing like a serious interview. And it'd be such a weird mixture of people, too. My daughter watches Muppet show from the 80s. And she loves-- one of the shows she's seen a lot is with Florence Henderson and the guest. And Florence Henderson sings a whole song. And she's a singer. But it's funny to watch her sing that. And it's funny for my daughter, who's five and a half now, who's been watching it since she was probably four and a half, to kind of start getting the sense of humor. It's kind of like when I was a kid and I'd watch The Tonight Show. And the humor that wasn't appropriate for me, it just went right over my head. I just didn't get it. And I kind of laughed along. I remember Archie Bunker was a little racy, but my dad would watch that. But with my daughter, it's funny, too, to see her watch Florence Henderson walking through some strange set. That's a beautiful set. Singing a song live, I think. And she's like, "Mommy, she's beautiful." And she only knows it from that. Yeah, it's to her. It's like there's no time. There's no like, that was then and this is now. And then also recently we watched Love Boat. I was watching Love Boat. I had a stomach virus and I watched like three or four episodes of Love Boat back to back. That's what you should watch with a stomach virus. It was very sexual. It's like very like bikinis and drinks. And let's have a drink. Yeah, there's always like jokes with like the crews always like, "Whoa, exactly." I don't care a lot to do that, that's the crew. Yeah, it's very, it was very like hooking up and like little... I feel like every episode of Love Boat, one of the plots is about a marriage that's saved through infidelity. Or a ghost. Yeah, with a ghost. Right, right. No, you're right. There's always something strange. Really weird. Or like a famous football player who's not a famous football player anymore. I don't know. My favorite bad episode of Love Boat is a guy and it's very serious, is trapped in one of the rooms with trained killer Doberman Pincher dolls. Oh, Jesus. That they were like transporting for some reason on a boat. And he's trapped in the bathroom. Yeah, it's really weird. And then like the other plots on the show are very like wacky and this one's very serious. It's totally very weird. Yeah, the one I watched was really creepy. It was a guy who had a locket that had another woman's photograph in it. That had a woman's photograph in it only. It was from the olden days. 1800s or something. And he thought that she was this ghost, you know, the reborn version. But then the woman gets, yeah, and then she gets the locket and she realizes he stuck the photograph in there. But somehow he saves her in some weird situation and then she falls in love with him anyway. But he's really creepy. He's like, that's very weird. That's the kind of stuff kids would not be exposed to now. I know. Probably for better. Totally inappropriate. Okay, so there's Adam 12 here. I would watch Adam 12. It was funny when I was a kid. I really had a crush on the dark haired one. Oh, yeah. Is it Ray Mantuf? No, that's the fire. Yes, his name is. Oh, my God. I'm bad with names, but it's funny as I get older, I realize, wow, I thought the blonde one was actually cute too. Right. It's weird when you're able to see the handsomeness of both or like, all of a sudden you're like, right, Don Knots was kind of handsome. Don Knots could really pull off a purchase. He was kind of cute. Like, oh, I didn't realize that he wasn't the dope, just the dopey one. He was a movie star. I always, my favorite movie Don Knots is in is called The Love God. Have you ever seen that movie? Oh, my gosh, I haven't. It's fantastic. It's great. It has, it's really, really well worth watching. But it's 22 when I was, you know, you, you watch these people on shows and you're like, wow, that guy's really old. And then later, he's like 20. I know. Some people look old. Yeah. Julie, a child, I might, I might switch to that for a minute and hear her talk about chicken or something like that. Did you guys have cable or anything? We did not have cable. We were very late to cable. Okay. We were in Dallas. We had Channel 4, Channel 5, Channel 8, Channel 11, Channel 13, PBS. And then we started getting, like, Channel 21 and 33 that had some sketchy stuff on there. You could kind of make out. And sometimes they ran shows on those. And then my mom didn't want a hole in the wall. So we went to my friend Margaret's house. We watch cable over there. Excellent. Oh, see, Little House on the Prairie. I would totally watch that little bit bored by the House on the Prairie. I was really boring. It was very long. It was like an hour long show. Oh, my God. A 90-minute show. They did a lot of space. Was it a 90-minute show? It wasn't usually. I would expand it to 90 minutes. I can't believe how popular that show was. I know, you know, we like to play Little House on the Prairie. My sister and I did and we go out and pick berries and mash them up and stuff. But to watch it was, I don't think I ever watched. Did you watch someone pick berries? That's the difference. Yeah, I don't think I really watched it a lot. I think I just knew it was there. I feel like most shows that take place in a time before electricity tend to be boring. Or anything on a boat, except for a love boat. But like anything like on a, like, pirate. Love boats at the bar, anything else that's not love boat on a boat, it's going to be boring. Even Fantasy Island was a little, I love the opening, but it was a little too grown-up and mysterious. Yeah. And I always thought that Ricardo Montaban was the devil. He does kind of look like a joker on it, like a deck of cards. It's the white suit. Let's see what else we've got. Becarole Burnett and friends. I totally would be watching this. But I didn't realize it was on on a weeknight. Yeah, I think it was on Monday night. 8 o'clock. Yeah. Wow, I totally would have watched this. It was in reruns a lot though too. And then I think I was probably asleep because I don't even, oh, odd couple. I knew about that, but that was something I probably watched less during prime time and more in reruns when I was sick at home years later. Plus it's like two old guys living in a house together. It seems boring. Oh my gosh. Welcome back, Carter was at 9. I think I might have been in a different time zone because I was in Dallas. Yeah, so it might have been 8 for you. Yeah. So I watched Welcome Back, Carter religiously. I was so jealous of central time people because you could watch the 10 o'clock shows at 9 before bedtime. Yes, I know. Well, we got to watch Welcome Back, Carter. I had the Carter cards. They were trading cards. And actually later in life, new Ron Palillo. Oh yeah, for sure. I met him at the sing-along bar down in the West Village in New York. Was he the first person that you had met from like a show that you watched as a kid? Uh, I don't think so. I think I met Cher and I think I met, I don't remember. That was completely starstruck by Cher. Oh my gosh. I mean, I don't know how you could be. Which means Cher, Olivia Newton, John, all these people I met, I can't even believe it. It's just Donnie Osmond. Yeah. I mean, Donnie and Marie are so sweet and I've met them a bunch of handful of times and oh my gosh, they're just so nice and so cute and handsome and beautiful. Yeah, they look the same. It's perfect. Oh my gosh. Do you remember how weird it was in '89 when Donnie Osmond had that comeback as the mystery artist? Oh right. And was that him? Yeah, he did. He did that song Soldier of Love and it became a number one hit but it was under the name the mystery artist because they didn't want people to think it was Donnie Osmond and then it was like a big reveal like hey, it's Donnie Osmond. And then what's his name did that later, the country singer? Oh yeah, Garth Brooks did Chris Gaines. Yeah. Yeah. We've ever been tempted to have an alter ego. Yes, I have. I have. Just but I, you know, I've never done it. Never done it. Well, if you had done it, you wouldn't admit it. It's a mystery game. Oh gosh, there's so many shows here. Welcome back to our mash. I love the theme song to mash but again, I can never really watch it. It's very depressing. I love the music. Suicide is painless. Oh, I love it. It's just anything like depressing. All very grown up shows. Mark Griffin, I thought that was a daytime show. It was on weekly. It was syndicated in different markets. So some days it was on it like two o'clock in some markets. Some markets are on at night. Yeah. This is like an 11 o'clock show. One day at a time. I would watch one day at a time for sure. That makes sense to me too. And I loved and I loved finding out later that like they were having all these like real life like poor, well, even worse than I even knew at the time but like even worse things came out. But I loved Valerie Bertinelli and I was so intrigued by the darkness of the whole thing. Yeah. And the single mom. Very weird to see on TV at that time. Oh yeah. And the handyman. Oh yeah. He was one of those guys. You're like, ah, he's kind of ugly. He's like the handyman. The random like little buff. Yeah. But now you look at it. He's like really handsome. Yeah. What was it? Shire. Shire. Shire. Shire. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. The mustache threw me off. Yeah. And the tool belt. But I love that. Let's see. Nancy Walker. She was the lady in the bounty commercial. Yes. Yep. Later. I was the voice of bounty for six years. Oh wow. She did a lot of less over stuff. Yeah but I wish I was the voice. She played Roda's mother as well. Right. Nancy Walker. Roda. Oh my god. I loved Roda. I really loved Roda. Oh here are Monty Python's flying circus. So I would watch that at my friend Adrian's house and that was awesome. That seemed really exotic and strange. It just seemed like what we were supposed to be watching. Right. Like we were really into all kinds. Like I said like Fernwood tonight. Did you watch Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman? That's been awful. We did watch Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman a little bit. I don't know if I quite got it but I knew that there was something kind of dry and different about it. And then also here is Nova which 10/30 at night, channel 13. I'd watch that with my grandmother. That was surprising to me how many people watch Nova. That's a thing too. One of the things you're allowed to watch. Right. But you would instead of if your option was not watching TV or watching something really boring, you would watch something. You'd always watch something. Of course. Like no I'm not going to not watch TV. Sports on Sundays and stuff. Oh I would watch it. Oh Alfred Hitchcock. I watched a ton of Alfred Hitchcock with my dad. I love Alfred Hitchcock. Would you guys try to like predict the twist? Oh no. You know what we watch more was Twilight Zone. Yeah. I also watched Alfred Hitchcock with my dad and I did a pretty good impersonation if I puffed out my cheeks. That is pretty accurate. I got my lip. People I saw are it's accurate. And then here is Johnny Carson. I'd watched Johnny Carson and then I knew my parents were really saying it's really time to go to bed. Right. And this is a school move? You gotta go to bed. Yeah. They're like Lisa, it's time to go to sleep. Like John Denver is on. He's doing a special with the Muppets. I got to meet John Denver. Oh my god the Muppets. It's like Friday night special. The kiss is going to be on my mom woke us up to see kiss without their makeup only it was like kiss shot from behind sitting in a bench. Right. Did you ever see the Paul Lynn Halloween special with kiss? No. Am I going to love Paul Lynn? It's amazing. It's fantastic. You know I have to go get ready to go on stage in 15 minutes. But this is amazing. I love memories of sitting on a sofa watching TV. Yeah, everybody watching. I'm holding my entire life. Yeah. Who's six million dollar man? I love the sound of it. I always I'd watch part of it. But I didn't actually we a violin girl. I like both. I like the music. I like the sound effects. Did everyone read a bunch? I watched that. I tried to get my kids to watch that recently. To show her like look there's a woman that sings and the little girl looks just like her my daughter the Buffy. I mean not Buffy Cindy. She also looks like Buffy somewhere between Buffy and Cindy. And also I love Lucy. We watch that a lot. Do you feel like you have to educate your kids with the shows that you grew up with? Well all of a sudden I'm like oh my gosh there's all these great shows. You can see they're amazing. I'm like we watched The Other Day when my daughter was sick. There's a theme here. I'm like you're sick. Yeah, you got to watch TV. I'm going to watch TV and we watch B which it's actually a little snarky. It's more for grown ups with kids. Yeah. Oh it's completely. And indoors like dulling, dulling. Yeah. And I'm like oh gosh we don't talk to grown ups that way anymore. Yeah. Don't talk to people that way. Yeah Agnes Morehead. Fantastic. Yeah. Well I know you got to get ready for sure. But thank you so much for talking to me. It was great talk to you about this stuff. I love this stuff so much. It's in my bones more than a lot of other things I learned in school. Thank you. Thank you. There you go. The always charming funny Lisa Loeb does a ton of TV stuff. She does a lot of voice over. She was the voice of Mary Jane on the 90s or maybe it was the 2000 Spiderman cartoon. And big revelation there. I had no idea she was the voice of the bounty paper towels ads recently. So that is pretty exciting. I really really love talking to her. I can't thank her enough for taking the time to speak with me. We spoke in the basement as I said of the bolt run in Shirley Mass which is a pretty interesting venue. It has a real dirty dancing vibe. Not that you know the Lombata is not going on there or anything but it is very classic sort of resort, lake resort sort of dinner room. But it's very, very cool. They have some interesting and strange shows there and strange is a compliment in my world. I saw a magnus myth there last year. So if you are in Massachusetts or the New England area definitely check out their schedule. I'm sure there's something interesting worth seeing. And continuing sort of the unofficial theme of talking to talented women in basements in old venues before their shows. My next guest is comedian Beth Stelling. I talked to her in the basement of Norse Hall in Portland, Oregon during the Bridgestown Comedy Festival. Beth is very, very funny. You may have seen her on Conan O'Brien or any number of television shows. She has a great album out called Sweet Beth. I first saw her when we worked together during the Ryan L.A. Comedy Festival a few years ago. We were on a moth show together and I really, really loved her story. I always loved seeing her perform. She's very funny and it was great to chat with her. So the second half of our show, which if you've just tuned in to hear Lisa Loeb maybe you don't know Beth Stelling, I think you will very much enjoy the conversation with her. So stick around. If you just like Beth Stelling and for some strange reason fast forwarded to this part of the show and skip Lisa Loeb, definitely listen to the beginning. But you'll like both. So here we go. Here is my conversation with Beth Stelling. Beth Stelling, hello. Hello, thank you for having me. Thanks for doing this. We're kind of in the basement in a really weird, like, it's a Nordic Hall. It's called Norse Hall in Portland, Oregon. And it was, it did used to be Native American Hall but it was actually pillaged and taken over by the noise. I actually went on that with you for a moment. I believe you for a community, just for a moment. Yeah, but it's very shining. It's got a real overlook hotel kind of vibe going on here, which is pretty cool. And so we're trying to squeeze this in between shows. Yes. This might be a lightning round episode, but it gave you sort of a selection, guessing your approximate age from like the late 80s, early 90s. And you picked one from the week of June 25th to July 1st, 1994. Actually, this is my birthday week, 1994. I was turning 14 years old. I probably would have had a crush on you. Oh, I doubt it. And 14 was rough. 14 was rough. Yeah. Anybody that was taller than me. Well, that's true. Yeah. It was probably. Yeah. I grew like age 12. I grew to 6 foot 3. No. Yeah. Are you kidding? No, that was a painful song. I was going to say really growing pain is a real thing. Like Shins Flint salsa. I was like, but I could get into all these bars and stuff when I was like 13. Shush. But the irony being I don't drink and never have. So like all my friends would do full. Yeah. By a spearkin. Yeah. Never got ID. Well, good part about being why you impale is stretch marks. Don't really show. That's a good point. That's a good point. Don't need to use this special. Don't get out on the sun. So I'll tell you what, like five, 10? I mean, yeah. I mean, I, these actually, these little sneakers are a wedge, but I'm like five, I'm five, nine. Yeah. When you're the tall, because girls always grow faster. So I mentioned yeah, I was always yeah. Yeah. Front of the line. Yeah. Or back, depending in front of a lot. Yeah. Like you have to be one of the front or back, just so we can point out that you're taller than everybody else. So this issue actually has a really interesting article in here. And it says, who are Hollywood's best love stars? Insider's rank TV's top 10. Let me, do you want me to go from 10 to one or 10? 10 being the least love. Yeah, the least love out of the top 10. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Let's go 10 to one. 10 to one. All right. Any guesses 94? Yeah. But I mean, I saw the cover. So I'm going to say Tim Allen. Tim Allen's on there. I don't want to ruin things, but he's not number 10. Right. Okay. Yeah. And he's still around. Yeah. So you said you watched some improvement all the time. I did a lot. Did you like JTT? Of course. Yeah. I did have the, I'm sure I had one. Did you have a subscription to any of like the girl magazines? No, but every now and then if I had a little extra cash or something like that from, I don't know, I don't remember really having allowance. Right. Yeah. I don't think I did either. I don't know where I got money from. Same. You know, I always had like a, some sort of little, like as a girl, I have little coin purses for sure. And I had little, little tiny baskets, jewelry, I think you, I always had all these little containers as a young girl. Yeah. With change, like a piece of gum, rubber bands, like crazy little knickknacks, little girls containers. Yes. That's like, just buy her a jewelry box. Yeah. It's like, don't you need, shouldn't you have more jewelry than the box? Yeah. Do just give it a little boxes than jewelry. It'll be a wonderful irony. She's had to find things to put in there. Oh, like little gummy or bouncy balls, or like little jacks. Yeah. Yeah. The hands that you throw out a wall and they stick. Sicky hands invented by a guy who had his own TV show, actually. Really? I was a Japanese American guy. I do not remember his real name, but he went by the name Dr. Fad because he invented the wacky wall crawler. If you remember, I do spiders and you throw them in the sticky hand. And he had a short little show called Dr. Fad. And the premise of the show, not enough, was that kids who made inventions would go on the show. And then he would be like, well, let's vote who had the best invention. Yeah. But it would always be kids like, I stuck a straw in a potato. Yeah. So it's a potato battery. But for you, there was always, my favorite thing about Dr. Fad was you would get to see like the domestic issues at these kids' houses based on what their invention, because it would be like, this is a dad tracker to keep them when they disappeared. It weren't that bad, but they were like, even as a kid, I was like 10 years old, I'm reading between the lines, be like, like when kid invented this thing that you could bring the mail in the house without going out and getting the mail, it was like a pulley system. Yeah. And he was like, well, sometimes my parents don't want to go outside. And I'm like, wait, wait a minute. And they never addressed it. I was just like, okay. That's funny. Did you ever do like an invention thing at school? Like, I feel like they had like science things. Yeah. You know, my school was great and that they did have this like sort of enrichment program. And if you could like test it into it, you got to go for one period and sort of do these extracurricular things that were like more, you know, ahead of your years. Right, right, right. I balance a checkbook still to this day, actually, because I learned it in some experience. Everybody just sits and balances checkbooks. That was like, it was like learning how to manage your funds. Okay, yeah. We should teach anyone now. And so, in that class, we would be given money, like we would be given income, how much our mortgage was. And so like balance, I can look that way and a little joy. I kept my, my, my checkbook. We'll teach these girls an important lesson about life. You'll never have enough things to fill all the ends. This is the metaphor you've learned. And women be shopping. We have like Hommack and all this stuff. I took, I always took those. I took cooking. I love Hommack. I had one of the most mortifying, horrible experiences in my life in sixth grade Hommack class. Really? First of all, the teacher was this guy who learned how to cook in the Navy. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And he, the only, it needs to be written in some sort of story. That's brilliant. He's just like really hard-ass. And it was all girls in my sixth grade. There was two boys in the class, me and this black kid named Jaishan McNeil, who had, who had his name shaved in his head and dropped out of school to start a new Jack swing band. Amazing. Yeah. And we made, we made this thing that the teacher invented himself called Chicken Yakitori. Oh my gosh. And Jaishu. It sounds like something. It sounds like something. Yeah. And he was just like some white Irish guy. Chicken Jack Tory. And I was like named after a fallen fellow here. Yeah. He was like in World War II. I killed a Jeff. And he was called Jackatori. And this is my tribute to this fallen enemy. You take one can of Campbell's soap. And then you shoot it. He said, I said be that stir. And so it was all these girls that like, you know, you had crushes on them and everything. And I was like, I'm pretty cool in this class. And I'm walking by this round table, which is important because I tripped and fell. But I was like, not that big a deal. Good dismount. But I looked at the table and my pants were attached to them somehow and were not on my body. They were just stuck. I don't know what like a nail or something. It was horrific. How do you do pull your whole pants out? Were you wearing sweatpants? There wasn't wearing sweatpants at all. But I had to. So I was like, if you thought girls liked you in sweatpants, you were full on your socks and check these Zubas out. Zebra print. You guys want to see me lift some cinder blocks? So then I was just who was in the basement of the school. And my locker was on like the third floor. And I'm like, I guess I have to get my gym clothes and wear those because I can't go home because my pants fell off. So the so I'm walking up the stairs in the bell rings. So now I'm in my underwear, walking up the stairs between classes. Who wouldn't help you know what this was this was how Boston schools worked. And so everyone's like, they thought I was pulling some kind of streaking prank. Right. And then I feel like the most embarrassing part is I had to wear my sweatpants from Jim for the rest of the day. Right. Yeah. I look like maybe you peed. Actually, I didn't think of that. It did look like I peed. Do you ever pee your pants in school? Not that I remember. Yeah. Not that I remember. I do remember peeing my pants on purpose to make my uncle laugh. Well, at home, how old were you? Old enough to know where the toilet wasn't. I had to get there last year. That one you're like, I think I want to be a comedian. Yeah. I was like, I'm going to start with my opening bit is pissing myself. Why did you think that would make him laugh? Was it like, did you ever hear him go? Nothing's funnier than a little girl pissing or something? I think I was just like, I'm going to pee. And he's like, no, don't do it. I'm like, I'm going to pee my pants. You're like, you were method. Yes. I don't think I've ever I've made people pee by like making them laugh. And you feel kind of bad, but you also feel like you've accomplished something. It is funny when like, yeah, when you laugh so hard, you pee your pants a little. Some people don't have that control. No, no. And that's bad. I know. And then you feel a little bit bad about it. I did used to try to make kids puke at lunch a lunch. Yeah, that was, I feel bad about that now. Yeah. This is like elementary school. Yeah. I did used to try to make puke at lunch, like mix up concoctions in your craft. I mean, no, not poop, but you know what I meant. Like your food. No, I discovered that that didn't work very well. And the thing that always worked, this is my go-to move. Was pretending you were going to barf? Nope. Okay. Cocktail onions, like the onions that come in peas, you know, I would take those out and I would pretend it was my eyeball. And I would like, no. Yeah. And so I'd be like, oh my eye. And I would kind of like throw it at them. And they would be like, it worked probably nine out of ten times. See, the trouble with that was I remember making gingerbread men in first grade. Yeah. And I think Rodney ate too many red hots. Yeah. And over by the trays, he puked. But then one of the kids started, the teacher was like, everyone look away, look away. One kid starts to puke, they all start to puke. Yeah. I used to teach martial arts classes to five-year-olds, which is already fun. And the two biggest problems we had is if one of them farted, you couldn't do the rest of the class because they would just laugh for an hour. And I was like 13. And I'm like, guys, come on. It's not that funny. And I'm like, yes, it is. And then if one of them puked, it was just, that's it. It was a Vomitorium. Yeah. The rest of the thing. I know. And I guess still to this, I mean, I wonder if that's like some sort of weird primal like survival in sync. Right. Right. That's actually true. That is interesting. That's what it is. They were the waters, boys. Smartest man, can we? I try. I try to figure out. It does make sense. It does make sense now that I've said that out loud. And I had never thought. Yeah. I mean, not to be more of it, but it makes me, I did the competitive erotic fan fiction last night. Oh, yeah. What did you get? I pulled the Jonestown massacre. Nice. And so, of course, when he just said that I was like, if only it worked then, yeah, don't drink it. Don't drink that. I would have really, has anyone ever done the Hail Bob comment? I feel like that's not talked about enough these days. I don't think anyone has sexualized that yet. They should. They really should. Those Nike's, purple, you can get some prints going. I'll talk to Brian. So, yeah, the pearl onion would work quite frequently. Yeah. And then I felt very satisfied about that. I don't know if people peed. The puke you were more able to confirm that. Right. Did you ever get caught though? I did get told on. Yeah. But then I was such a little dickhead. I would, I would be like, what? Why, who would do that? And then they would be like, yeah, that seemed like a lie. And I'm like, that kid's a liar. And then they would, they would get in trouble. It happened every time. Yeah. Yeah. I was, I was kind of an asshole now. I'm thinking about it. I think I was too. Yeah. And there were things I did that I probably shouldn't be proud of. Whenever I bring these stories up and I'll like be halfway through them, and I'm like, be telling my wife or something, she's like, you are the, you are a little dickhead. Yeah. Which is really angry. I remember throwing a bagel out of guys head. I was eating the tunnel at my elementary school. I went to decent at school. And, you know, I packed up, what was it? Lenders. Oh, Wendy's bagels. Yeah. New York style bagels. And, um, yeah, whatever, I was sitting there and I just, I was like, like, dare me to do it. My friends were like, yeah. And I chucked that this guy, Tim's head. And he was like, I want to say at least four years older. He was really hurt too. Like, I never expected this from you. He was just, I think he just kind of like looked and stared. Yeah. And he was just like, who did it? And everyone's kind of like, no, I swear to God, I lived in fear. I think the rest of that school year. I thought he was just waiting to get back. Yeah. I was like, hide when I saw him. No, but, because he didn't know it was me technically. Ah, so you were like, you thought it was a group. Yeah. But I was like, scared. I was going to like, it's pretty sure I was like going to be expelled. I think you should look Tim up on Facebook and I can't remember his name, but I bet my sisters do. He kind of honestly looked like Beavis. Oh, okay. So he had a big target. Yeah. And his hair was like, like that, a triangle kind of. I, so this is in Ohio, Ohio. I am maybe that the biggest puke story I had was in kindergarten. We have this kid named Jim Brown that everyone called Jim Brown hand me down, which is really cool. Right. And also he was the oldest in his family. So I didn't make any sense. It did make no sense. Hand me down from his dad. Yeah, he knows from his dad. And so he wanted to, we had a cloak room in school and he came out the cloak room. This is new. Great. This is free Harry Potter. We have the cloak room. He came in and he just started yelling, no, no, no. We were like, what's happening? And he projectile vomited neon pink. I, for a second, I was four or five years old. I was like, he's turning inside out. He's turning inside out. And it was the first time I heard an adult swear, like, at a job because the janitor came in with the sawdust and he goes, you fucking kids. That was fantastic. That's amazing. Yeah. It was a real moment. You fucking kids. That would be the worst day of your life when the kids came in. Yeah. Oh my God. I would never want to be a janitor. So number 10 on this list. I'm disappointed. Had they so low on this list? Who is it? David Hasselhoff. I mean, it was big, but I bet he lost some points in the votes because we were like, that shows were scary. Yeah. They probably also thought he was like too old because he had already done Night Rider. And he wasn't ironic at this point. This was before Baywatch nights. Have you ever seen Baywatch nights? Did you watch Baywatch when I was on? I do remember watching it. I don't really remember storylines. Honestly, I'm sure it's fascinated by the women's bodies. Yeah. I think we all were. That's why the world over was. Yeah. And it was, you could watch like two on a Saturday and you're like, this seems not okay, but everyone seems okay with it. Right. In Burbank, there is a, how do they make one pieces look that good? A lot of tape. Thing is a lot of tape. Oh my God. I had Vanessa Angel in the show who was on season one of Baywatch. And she was just like, it was hell on earth with a bathing suit on. That's your, you're just wearing a bathing suit for like weeks and weeks. Yeah. And I bet freezing, right? The water is really cool. You should be in like six in the morning. The freezing, or the water is pretty much always freezing. Yeah. And you have to shoot before everyone's at the beach really. So it's like six, five, six in the morning. You're just like, jump right in. It's fine. Do it again. I don't remember their nips being hard, but how could they not become instantly hard? Pam Anderson, her is permanent. Okay. It was definitely, I mean, that's where everyone watched it. Right. And also, I guess that was a positive. I mean, as a woman, you know, it rather than be like cold and perky, I guess. Yeah. Instead of like, innes. Yeah. Or just, you know, I don't think the inverse flopping around in the heat where they get really hot and then they just go inside. No, I don't think that has ever happened to me. Yeah. No, I don't think that that's a possibility. I don't think innes is a thing, but I remember I would always try to just like annoy kids and boys in elementary school talk about boobs all the time. Yeah. And kids were talking about like the kind of boobs they like. And granted, most probably most of them had never actually seen boobs. And then I said, innes are awesome. And that was maybe like 12. These kids were like, what? And I'm like, yeah, they're like, they go in. Like, one of us seen those like, I saw them in a movie. I'm like, Cinemax, not a thing. But Baywatch, obviously, about like on a search, the rest of their lives. Yeah, they're going to like dirty bookstores and being like, you got a magazine called Innes. He's like, I don't know, we can order it. I think it's European. Although I'm sure if any of these exist anywhere, it's probably Japan, they would have discovered or engineered it somehow genetically. But so Baywatch was a pretty straightforward show. They're lifeguards. That's it. Right. Such a popular show. They're like, we need more Baywatch. We need spin-offs. So they'd Baywatch Knights, which is David Hasselhoff playing Mitch as a, as a lifeguard. And at night, he's a private detective. Oh my God. Already fun, but it gets better. Season one, not very popular. Let's retool a little bit for season two. He's still a private detective, but now he investigates monsters. We have vampires. We have my favorite episode that I always cite, an unfrozen caveman. Oh my God. No humor in the show, completely serious show. Oh my goodness. I was going to say too, but then what? During Baywatch, he just, everyone acts like he didn't do that the night before. Yeah. There's no supernatural stuff in the Baywatch universe. Even though he's playing the same character and the night before, he like killed a werewolf. And the next day, he's like, Oh, there's some kids need saving from the rip curl. Hey guys, last night, horde of zombies killed him. Like this is amazing. And he should have been having never had any cuts on his body. No, I mean, it's Mitch. He's got, he's got skinny legs and he's, he's superhuman. So he's number 10, number nine's Jane Seymour of Dr. Quinn Medicine woman. Oh my God. I loved her. So you said you used to watch it with your mom every Saturday night? So actually, I'm getting, well, I'm not getting them confused, but Jane Seymour is Dr. Quinn Medicine one. Yes. Then there's the other gal from Touch by an Angel who's Rhona Downey. Yeah. And she's great. And I, and I liked them both. And they, whatever in my mind, they're, they're looking at me. But I feel like Dr. Quinn, I watched maybe, I definitely watch with my mom, actually. That's a mom. Like I watch more of it. Maybe on my own, but my mom and I watched Dr. Quinn Medicine women, we did watch Touch by an Angel for sure. Right. You guys were religious? Um, we grew up Methodist. Okay. So yeah, yeah, religious, I guess. I mean, I was confirmed. I actually stopped going probably after about eighth grade, but, or here and far between. So those shows made sense. A sister's was great. I love. So we watched all of those day and picket fences. Picket fences was fantastic as well. Those were all ones we watched. Yeah, but we're kind of dark. Like sisters are pretty adult. Yeah, it was because Charlie was an alcoholic. Yeah. And I think people were going to cancer. There was a lot of chairs. Or maybe Charlie had a cancer. Maybe the alcohol gave her cancer or something like that. Yeah. I mean, I remember watching like 30 something and, and sisters. I'm like a 13 year old boy and I'm like going to watch sisters. I know we were really riveted. They're going to get divorced. I don't know what's happening. Oh, and a fair, you know, I watched a little bit of night into an hour when I was in the hotel, like I think I was doing shows. Yeah. And I was a little actually pleasantly surprised with how kind of forward it was like, Brenda was talking to her mom about sex. Yeah. And her mom was like, yeah, I don't want to get this wrong. I think she was saying like, yes, you want to have it with a certain person, but just sometimes you don't. Yeah. She was like, she was basically kind of saying like, just make sure you feel good about it. Yeah. And condoms. Wait until yeah, that was the 90s though too. I think you're right. But still, I don't know. I feel like that was pretty. Were you and was it sort of a very converted convert of a conservative environment you were growing up in? No, not really. I like to say it was a nice medium. Like my mom wasn't like, sex is not a thing. Yeah. But she also wasn't like, how was your climax? Yeah. Everybody. Yeah. The most embarrassing thing that ever had. I just, I blocked this out until recently. It hit me. I'm not very close to my parents, but I had like, I was a late bloomer, but I had a girlfriend at high school. I was probably like 18. And my mother said to me, after probably nothing one day, she's like, you know, you guys kind of have sex in your room if you want, like kids need a place to do that sort of thing. Oh my god. And I was like, what the hell are you telling me about? I think I had, but I was just like, it was the worst. Some people don't forever. It really freaked me out. I mean, I have friends that didn't until 25, and then I had friends who did it until 15. Oh yeah. No, I was like 18. Yeah. And terrified, absolutely terrified. And you know, I, this came up recently too. I treated every relationship I had in like, in my 20s and teens, like in a fair. No. Like I was embarrassed. Like I'm like, people are going to find out. I'm like, that I have a, I don't know why it was like, just horrifically embarrassing. It was really funny. It was very weird. Like I had to like, sneak around. We're going, I'll meet my friend Dan. This is normal. You can do this. It's fine. I don't understand. Yeah, especially because your mom said that to you. Yeah. I think maybe that's why. Well, my dad thought I was gay. And he told me he literally, I said this on stage it, but it's true. He said, uh, you know, if you're gay, your mom and I would probably still love you. Shut the front door. Yeah. Which is how I knew he was being honest, because I'm like, if you said definitely like, totally alive. Oh my god. And then I was like, I'm not gay. And then he goes, Oh, you should date like a bunch of girls. So is this follow up. Oh my god. Probably. Probably still love you. So are you still not close with them? Uh, not terribly. Not since that comment. Not since that comment. My dad was very disappointed that I wasn't like a party dude. Like he wanted me to be like, the backwards baseball hat I brought the cat guy. Yeah. So Jane Seymour's number nine, eight has really surprised me. Who is it? Mark Curry. Hanging with Mr. Cooper. I love that show. There's also an interesting thing here where they've ranked them, but they also have a second rank, the loveability index. Oh, that gets a little real. He's an 86. Don't get him a cup of coffee. He'll get it himself. He's an ego-free zone. Oh my god. Yeah. Right. You know that the PAs were getting them coffee. Well, I don't know. One staffer says, quote, he joke. He don't work so hard. It's your life. What? Yeah. Is that a sentence? His big phrase is, yo man, thanks. That's his big phrase. That's his big phrase. He's a man in a few words. Yeah. I love that guy. Number where are we here? Number seven. Is it Tim, the toolman, Taylor? It's Patrick Duffy. Oh, yeah. Step-by-step. I did it. I did. It's a cheesy show. You know, what was the guy's name? Cody. Thank you. That name will never be able to be a name of a child of mine. No. Cody's a bad name. Isn't that Kathy Lee Gifford's kid's name? Probably. She probably named it after that guy. I love this guy. Sasha Cohen, he was a martial artist, and he was in kickbox of three, and then he went to jail for beating his wife after step-by-step was off. Wait, that guy? Yeah. Cody. Oh, hey dude. Like, a way too late surfer. I love how he went to jail for doing that. Yeah. People do far worse things. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they were like, they were just trying to get them. I bet there were people who were such big, Cody fans are like, they set them up. Yeah. You got, you got too powerful. Yeah, yeah. Free Cody. And everyone's like, that's not as new. That's not as real. All the fans are equally dumb as Cody, you know, but it's not as real name. Do you think there's anyone who's just like a hardcore Sasha Mitchell fan to this day? Probably. Well, not until this day. Yeah, I was like, Cody, Cody's going to come back. I'm shocked at, like, I, you know, I go to a lot of the reunion concerts with my sisters, my two older sisters, like, yeah, actually boys, niggas on the block, boys to men, 98 degrees. Well, we were into them and we loved them. We had the VHS of niggas on the block and like, but we never, yeah, and we loved them. We never, we never, we grew up just fine, but we never were able to go to concerts, really. Right. I mean, my mom took us to an Amy Grant concert, which was amazing. Right. But yeah, like, you know, my mom wasn't just like, able to let us all go to concerts. How many sisters? How many sisters? Well, there's three of us. So three of you had a new kids on the block concert, 99. That's been like $400. Yeah. So we certainly didn't go, but my mom got us the VHS and we had the sleeping. The hanging tough to her. Yeah. But anyway, and we've gone to the reunion one since and I guess what my point is, we're not like crazy about it. Like, it's fun. We all realize what we're doing, you know, you're not, you're not back to being 13 again. Yeah. Oh my God. Right. We just go and we're having fun. Like, I did get his t-shirts made one time because they have these cool vintage ones of this place called Strange Cargo and Chicago. They make them like how they used to. Oh, that's really cool. Like the faces. Yeah. So I got those made. But anyway, they're just women around us that truly it's almost like just right back into it and like maybe believe in their hearts that they might get to meet them after the show and finally have sex with them. You'll enjoy. Well, two of them would not be interested. Right. Exactly. John and Jordan. Oh, is he is he finally? Well, here's so here's the thing. I want him to be happy. Yeah, he's a good dude. He was always my favorite. He is the best one. Yeah. Do you know how many times they say girl in the song step by step? Four T two. It seems that high. 17. I counted. Oh my God. Because that's my favorite song by New Kids on the Block. And there's Jordan throws in all these extra girls because he's my favorite one. He goes step by step girl. Like he's just like like they gave him a quota. And then you have Danny's horrible singing when it goes. Stack one. He goes, we can have lots of fun. Like someone should be like, no. Now speed the tape up. You will always remind me of the triceratops. Oh, really? They're going to go with ape. That's usually the yeah, I guess I can see that. I'm on Chi Chi. I'm on Chi Chi. Well, he's always sucking his thumb. I used to work at a radio station in Boston and they fired the morning show a million times and we had Joey McIntyre as the guest host for like two weeks. I like him. He's a nice guy. And the program director was this ridiculous guy who went by the name Cruz. I'm Cruz on the radio. And we had to have these meetings. And he goes, we got a game for the show. It's called Get a Hummer from Joey Mack. And the premise was like he would hum a song and the person had to her. This this guy was wearing. Yeah, you could win a Hummer. But you were in a Hummer in a Hummer. Hummer in a Hummer. There has to be some awful radio station that's had that contest. But like a picture. He's like, that's why Cruz thought of it. Yeah, that's why we did Cruz. He used to wear like John Flubog flaming shoes and like, you know, he looked like Guy Fieri. Picture Guy Fieri. Make sure your case was. Yeah, exactly. And British Knights. And so Joey Mack goes, you got the wrong new kid for that game. Really? Yeah, I'm probably speaking out of school here. But yeah, and that's what he told us which one was gay. But we had all these middle age women that would. Joey. Yeah, he's still in the beans. It was right after he was in the Fantastics. I mean, he was he was high in his horse. But we would have these middle age women that would wait in the parking lot for him to come out. Oh, sure. Like 35, 40 year old women. And so what me and the other producers used to do is we switch off. One of us would bring the other one out with their jacket over their head. And we'd get in a car and then see how long they would follow our car. And it was a long time. Then we'd get out and they're like, who are you? And we're like, who are you? They would be like a half hour. Yeah, it was ridiculous. It was ridiculous. Who are you? What are you doing? Number six, Joey Lawrence. Oh, gosh, I forgot about Blossom. And I did watch that. Did you buy Joey Lawrence's single? Yeah, I mean, he was hot. Yeah, I I think he's didn't buy the single by way. Sorry. No, well, he's since been disproven. There are things his love can't fix for you, baby. No, his hair to line. It's bad. Yeah. I mean, listen, I don't, that's not something easy to go through. No, losing of the hair. It's true. It's truly traumatizing. I know for men, but maybe not do what he did. Look like a creepy Howie Mandel standard. It's just upsetting. Yeah, but I don't I can't fault him for trying to get the hair back on. Here's the only people that can pull off the look that Howie Mandel and Joey Lawrence are going for. Yeah, Billy Zane. Yeah, I agree. He is an attractive human that way. He's the only one that can do that. Like if he had hair, I would be a little weirded out. But I'm like, you guys have Billy Zane. That's true. That's true. So number five, Kelly Martin. Who's that? She was the sister on life goes on and had her own talk show for a while. I did like life goes on with Corky. Yes. But that show had a lot of stuff about AIDS. There was an AIDS character, a guide of AIDS on the show who was Kelly's boyfriend. Really? And they had a frank discussion about how they could still have sex even though he had AIDS and it would be safe and whatever. It was very, very informative and groundbreaking and progressive. But also really like uncomfortable. Yeah, it was very, very strange. I didn't remember the AIDS thing. Of course, I remember corky with the Down syndrome, which was, you know, yeah, my aunt has worked with adults with disabilities and level for like her whole life. Yeah. Did she ever watch that show and be like, this is bullshit? I would be curious what she did think of that. Yeah. I think she's a huge advocate for getting people with special needs jobs. Yeah. So they can kind of, you know, survive on their own. Yeah. And that was like a lot in the show. Like if you got married and they believed in their own. Did have a job, right? Yeah. Yeah. And they were trying to like do all this stuff. He put on an album. Oh, really? Yeah, not a Michelle. It's a little better than Joey Lawrence's album. Yeah. Then we have number four, Heather Locklear. Oh, yeah. I mean, oh my god. Melrose plays she was a sexy baby. Oh, yeah. And that was like the fourth huge show she was on. Yeah. She went from from Richie Sembor at a Tommy Lee or the other way around. And then she was at that, all I don't know is like LAX. Remember when she had that show called LAX? Oh, yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That didn't last very long. Oh, no. And then number two, Tim Allen. Yeah. Tim the toolman Taylor. I hated that show so much. I didn't hate it. I liked it. I don't, I just, here's how I described the feeling of that show. Are you familiar with Hess gas stations? Yes. All right. Imagine you go to bed at night. Yeah. You wake up in a Hess gas station. It's like two in the morning. You don't know where you are. And there's just people in the house. That's how I felt watching home improvement. Really? That's sort of like, what is this? It just wasn't for me. What was the neighbor's name again? It was Wilson. Thank you. Never saw his face. Yeah. Has anyone done like an art exhibit? It was always at such a start in or I just was thinking, I didn't mean to interrupt you. But like, yeah, it wasn't really, it was, it hooked you there. You watch because sometimes you're like, are we gonna see more of it? Yeah. It was like the will they won't they? Will they show Wilson's face? Is he gonna show his face? That's like maybe what kept the show going. That would be funny if they did. They figured out that was the only reason people were watching it. Just to find out every show Tim Allen does has to have a person that you don't see their face. Like he's like, this is the magic. This is what it is. It's not me. I just, I hated the whole like, it was just so like that his act and the. Yeah. You're using art exhibit for it. Oh, yeah, yeah. If like, you know how they do these like pop culture art things now, it's just all different artists drawing what they think Wilson looked like. That's an idea yet. Yeah. I like that. Like all these different interpretations. Yeah, I do like that. It should be very fun. Number two, Jay Leno. Interesting. I guess. What would you give Jay Leno's loveability index? I guess in '93. You're very close. '98. I was gonna say '97. I was like, how could it be? Yeah. Although, I should have bumped it up because he's number two. He calls staffers just to chat. He once called the crew member's dad to encourage him when he needed heart surgery. To keep on living. Come on, champ. Get that new heart. Thanks, Jay. Does that, I think maybe that means he paid for it. I think the best thing to do to someone who needs heart surgery is to surprise them. Yeah, absolutely. And then number one, Angela Lansbury. Wow. Her loveability index 100. Oh my god. Now let's see her face there. I like that. She's having a good time. You know why I like that so much is just because she looks normal. Like this is when a older woman was able to act and be older and loveable and a success. I'm not saying that doesn't exist anymore and I'm not trying to be all. But a lot of people do get the surgeries and it's off-loading. Yeah. And she, this is like, you know, she looks like an older woman who's aging. She went a little too far with the breast augmentation. Who did? Angela Lansbury. No, you're kidding. Oh my god. You just found out she was the only thing she had done. She was like, I don't understand. She didn't do it till she was like 75 more. But implants would be great. She got any implants. That ass on Angela Lansbury. Whoa. This is a Ruma Clanahan. Has a quote about Angela Lansbury. Let's hear it. I knew it was going to be Angela who helped me. I love her. I do anything for her. I think they're dating. Help me do what? Yeah. They didn't say what she helped. Oh, no Madeline Roo who had multiple sclerosis and she helped her get health insurance. Wow. So that's why she's number one. That's a loveability index. That is loveability index. Yeah. I'm going with that totally. And then what are some of the other things you wrote there? Oh, yeah. We've got like five minutes of apologize. Yeah. Well, no, no, no. This has been fun. We did a mini app. I'm going to go down just like throw some out there. Yeah, yeah. Definitely. Clarissa explains it all. You're a SNCC person all night. I'm not all night, but I do remember watching that. Ferguson went to camp with Mike Kaplan. I don't know why. Comedian Mike. Yeah. And he lives near Mike now and like comes out to shows and he's come to shows in Brooklyn a few times and it's totally freaked me out. Super nice guy. Oh my goodness. I know how does he go on with his life? Yeah, yeah. It's interesting. He was such an empty nest. It's been off of Golden Girls. I love them to net. It had its own spinoff. I love why the old guy talked. Oh, you're Richard Mulligan. Yeah, Richard. I love the way he talked and he reminded me of the bald eagle from The Muppets. Oh, he's very similar to the bald eagle from The Muppets. I love that show. Did you ever see the movie The Heavenly Kid? No. It's one of those movies where there's like 40 plots of this movie where a dead 50s greaser comes back to the 80s to teach a kid how to get laid basically. It was a part of the movie and it turns out he's released that Richard Mulligan plays like the head of the angels and he's like, hey, I'm teaching you how to get into heaven. It's maybe the best Richard Mulligan role I think. I love him. Yeah, he's great. Cops, I definitely, I felt like I was, I felt like forbidden fruit. I'm not allowed to watch this. Oh, was that a little bit? No, she didn't, but it would scare me. It would scare me. It would give me bad dreams, but I was not that I was unattended, but you know, I snuck TV. I snuck that and then sometimes it's like whatever happened here I wrote down America's Most Wanted. Yeah. Whatever happened I was watching, then it would come on. Yeah. And it was almost just like a train wreck. Like I can't not look, I can't look away. Did you ever think you saw anyone you knew when America's Most Wanted? No. A few people I know, I always asked that because people were like, yes. And somebody I know called on somebody. Oh my god. That's my science teacher. Yeah. Or I would see like, yeah, I'd be like, I think it might be this person. Yeah. Cops, I still watch on Saturday nights to this day. Yeah, I really, it felt like. Yeah. But, um, a problem child too was a movie. Lauren Newman's in that movie. Oh my god, I love the problem child movies. The first one's great. Yeah, I agree. As they go on, it gets worse. Yeah. Do you remember the Cartoon series or the TV series? I'm sure I watched it once. Amy Yazbak was in them, who is a totally underrated comedic actress, was married to John Ritter in real life, was great on wings, great in those movies. And no one ever brings her up. She's great. Yeah. I mean, honestly, I didn't, I don't recognize that name. But I'm also kind of bad with that. Well, that's all right. That kid was also very Ferguson. Like, you're right. Maybe you just like hateful little shitty redheads. He would have made people puke with a pearl. That would have been his go to move. Oh my god, he just loved that movie. And then I don't know how it holds up. Gladiators watch a lot of that. That's gladiators, meaning like, but what I'm gladiators. I'm thinking of a different show or is American gladiators gladiators? Yes and no. Okay. Gladiators is the original show. It was actually a UK show. Okay. They bought the format and called it American gladiators. But some cable stations here when American gladiators got very popular started airing the UK gladiators. Okay. And it was not like the office. Yeah, like the office. Exactly. It's like the original office. And gladiators, American gladiators is a great show. The first winner of the first season of gladiators is going to Billy Worth who's in the movie The Lost Boys and like is a big actor. Wow. And also Malibu, the worst American gladiator got fired after the first season. I don't remember that. There's a guy, one of the American gladiators who was nitro wrote like a tell all autobiography. And it's really good. I bet it's fair breaking. It's amazingly good, but it's just like terrifyingly like Hollywood stuff. They're live. Yeah. And we brought all the rip-offs of American gladiators after there was um Wizards and Warriors. No. There was roller games. What was the thing with the agro? That was just good. That was more kids, though. Yeah, Michael Mally. Do you have it? Yeah. Yeah. Well, now if you think about it, we have all these. What are these? Yeah, like American Georia. Yeah. With that. And then what's the thing where you're in a big obstacle course and you just are made to look like an ass. Oh, yes. That's based on a Japanese show and it's called a splash or something or like broken arms. That's not the same thing obviously. Like if they could get away with it, they would just have shows where they just hit people in the face of the bat. Absolutely. Like who dies first? You what? Well, Japan has had you know, the Japanese game shows are like infamous, but they had a show called Endurance. That was like the one that set the bar. And some of the games they did was they had people guys to get in the canes, sit in an ice bath and drink beer. And then the last person to go to bathroom one. And they had like a really minor prize. It's gonna say, I'm sure I thought you're gonna tell me someone died and I believe you. I saw a Japanese game show where the goal was to make a little girl cry without touching her. Oh my God. And so it was just this little like cute little Japanese and all like 10 year old. And these guys would go and be like, oh no, just like just and you couldn't swear at them, I guess. Because all in Japanese and they have like little meters. And then if they start crying, like dollar signs, like yay. I'm like, your culture is pretty wrong. That little girl that I got paid well. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody wins in that scenario. Anything else that you had on it? No, I don't think so. I mean, like I had some game. I think that was pretty much we hit it all really touched by an angel. Are there any shows you watch as a kid that you revisit now? I don't think of while we were doing that crud. Oh, Zina Warrior Princess. Sorry, that just made me think of that. So that I still watch, I guess Jeopardy. We don't have like a comfort show that like you're like, oh, I watch this as a kid all the time. Let me throw this on. You know, not really. That's probably a good thing. I remember like, I say Mr. Belvedere and I mean, I did like, I guess say by the bell was probably one of my favorite needs episode. Really? There was a kid who had AIDS from a blood transfusion. They kicked him out of school. Oh my God. And he was supposed to play Lincoln in the school play, but they kicked him out. So Wesley was going to play the role. And he came over and he goes, who was his malinking costume? My mom washed it and everything and he said, get out of here. I don't want your AIDS. No. And then, and then George Owens is like, ah, geez, Belvedere. I don't want my kid getting AIDS from this AIDS kid. Yeah. And Belvedere has to be like, George. Let me inform you and tell you the whole thing about it. Yeah, it's ridiculous. Oh my goodness. It's maybe the most ridiculous episode. I saw it up straight. Charles in charge, perfect strangers and my two dads. Yes. Paul Riser's finest. Can you think of all? I mean, there's so much TV. Yeah. That's a lot. Everyone. It's like they repressed this up. My two dads a show that should have been about two gay dudes. Yeah, they probably just couldn't commit, right? But here's the thing. Or what do you think? I mean, they weren't. There was never sexual tension. No, but the premise of that show, instead of just being like, Hey, it's two gay guys raising a teenage daughter, the premise instead is this woman had sex with two guys in the same day and doesn't know who the other right then she dies. And they're like, that's fine. Yeah, yeah, right? Okay. Yeah. And Charles in charge. Did you like the Pembrokes or the Powell's better? See, you know what? When you say that, I can't even remember the Pembrokes or the first family. Yeah. Charles in charge started as an NBC show. It got canceled after one season. It came back two years later in first run syndication with the new family. That's like Nicole Eggert of Baywatch and the whole different family. Yeah. That's not the end. I don't remember. You probably better offer not knowing. Gosh, and then I'm just thinking of all of these now. Yeah. Well, you thought of and I thought of another one, but now I can't remember it. There's just so many. There was so we just watched TV all day. There was nothing else to do. People didn't have computers. Oh, wait, what Tony Dan's this show? Who's the boss? Oh, God, why couldn't I remember that? This bizarre? Well, he said many shows, but that's Moana. Moana. Moana had a spin-off series that was a failure. That was one of the few spin-offs that ABC tried to do that just bombs. People didn't want it because it was about like a horny middle-aged woman. They were like, no, no, no, no. She was on soap with Richard Mulligan. Oh, cool. One of the first shows to have a gay character played by Billy Crystal. Cool. But it wasn't that. It was cool that it happened, but he was like, I wear ladies under guard, like, et cetera, like just awful. Something he can look back and be proud on. Yeah. Does anyone like Billy Crystal as a comedian? I don't think that that's true. Yeah. Or maybe as a person. I don't know how he is. I don't know either. I swear I was sitting of course in a hotel room again as a comedian and watch his one-man show and Broadway came on. It's terrible. I thought it. I truly thought I was watching a joke. I'm not even. It's embarrassing. It's not even trying to be mean. I'm just watching this like, how could this be? There are people who are like, Jay Leno, stand-up was really good. You know, anyone that people have a problem with, you could find someone who's like, no, there's stand-up was great. Billy Crystal, no one's like, Billy Crystal was the best stand-up. Going to bat for Billy? Just like, no, it's not happening. I'm going to run to these. I apologize that we're going to talk to you. We'll have to do a part two sometime or something. Yeah. Thank you so much for doing it. Thank you for coming. And then we go that was Beth Stelling, the second half of our little green room pre-show special edition of the program. I really love talking to her. A lot of vomit talk there, but entertaining and true. And you should really talk to your kids about vomit. It's important in this day and age. That is the show for today. And if you enjoyed the show, make sure you subscribe on iTunes. We have new shows every single Wednesday. And then I put out special edition shows whenever I feel like it. Like in this instance, it's Friday. But you never know when a new special edition show is going to come out. So make sure you subscribe so you don't miss any shows. Please tell your friends about the show. If you like the show, rate and review the show on iTunes. It is a huge help. If you would like to get in contact with me, you can email the show here at tvguidenscounselor@gmail.com or tweet to us at tvguidens. I also am on Facebook. You can find us at tvguidenscounselor on Facebook and join the community of fans. There's probably at least 10 on there and talk about the show. And we will have a new episode Wednesday. So make sure you check back for a brand new episode of tv guidance counselor who shot jr. In my mind, I see 90s. I see like nylon 90s. I don't remember their nibs being hard, but how could they not be constantly hard? So are you still not close to them?
