"Wait. You have a TV?" "No. I don't like to read the TV guide. Read the TV guide. You don't need a TV." "Hi, it's Ken Reed. I am your TV guidance counselor. That didn't really seem like a high, but it seemed more I should have said hello, shouldn't I? Anyway, greetings. It's Ken Reed. I am your TV guidance counselor, and it is Wednesday, which means it's time for a brand new episode. And this week, it is a great honor to have the one and only Val Capa on the show, in addition to her being very funny and a great person and someone who I really enjoyed talking to. This is the first podcast she has ever done, and she informed me afterwards it is the last podcast she will ever do. I don't think that's a reflection on me. I just think she only wanted to do one, and I was honored that she picked mine. Val is a very, very funny stand-up comedian. She kind of started at the comedy studio a few years before me and was sort of in the same class as Eugene Merman and Jen Kirkman and some of those people. She is also a very fun artist. I had the pleasure of playing one of her art openings last year, and that was a lot of fun. You can find all her art at the links I will put on tvguidescounselor.com. Certainly buy some art from her. They're very fun. Reminds me very much of sort of adventure time stuff, if you like that sort of thing, which I do and you should too. Anyway, please sit back, relax, and listen to this week's episode of tvguidescounselor with my guest, Val's Kappa. TV movies made for tv, tv movies made for tv, tv movies made for tv, tv movies made for tv, tv movies made for tv. This is Val Kappa, Val, welcome. Hi Ken, thanks for having me. Oh, thanks for trekking out here to my home and coming to the show. Because you said you don't really do a lot of podcasts, so I'm sort of honored that you decided to come do this. I don't do any podcasts. This is the first one I've ever done. This is the actual first one. Yeah, this is a big deal. I'll try to bring my podcast game. Okay, I think you'll be fine. I think you'll be fine. So you picked a tv guide from 1994. You specifically asked for 94 because of one particular show, which we'll get to on the night that that's on. But you basically said I need a year that my social life was on. Yes. Yes. And so you picked the week. It's a Christmas week episode or it's post Thanksgiving. So it's November 26th to December 2nd. So it's really where the Christmas season is kicked off. Ellen is on the cover here. This is pre-gay Ellen. So people somehow didn't know at this point. And it says Ellen, surprise, she's a star. Which seems sort of offensive. If I was Ellen, I would be like, I'm on the cover tv guide. And then it kind of says, she's famous. I don't know why. Yeah, that is weird. Yeah, I'd be pretty mad about that. She feels like a star in that photo to me. Yeah, I think that's a star turn. It was no surprise to me because I was always a fan. You were a big fan. She got her shows. I even liked her. Was she your favorite stand-up growing up? Yes. Was she one of the reasons you started doing stand-up comedy? One of the many, yeah. Who else was a big influence? Like a big fan of growing up? I liked Judy Tanuda. Okay, Judy Tanuda was great. Yes. So you, did you watch MTV Half Hour Comedy Hour a lot? I remember her being on that frequently. A lot actually didn't have cable growing up. No cable. I didn't get cable to have some high school. That is, that makes me sad. So I was jealous of a lot of people who had Nickelodeon. Did you go over friends houses a lot just to watch their cable? I would sometimes but like the hours I went over like Fraggle Rock wouldn't be on. Right. Which would be a main reason. Like I missed out on Fraggle Rock and you can't do that on television. That's terrible. Have you caught up since then or you just feel like that's just a missing? I didn't bother but I know the gist. Well if you need to get comfy so that was I can hook you up at some point. Okay. Yeah, we always had cable for some weird reason because we didn't have a lot of money. That was like we were like oh let's see how cable's a main priority here. But we always had kids used to hang out at my house that I definitely wasn't friends with and I knew that they were using us for the cable. Okay. I knew, they thought I didn't know but I knew. I was okay with it. Yeah well that makes sense like but most of the people I hung out with came from families like you kids go outside. Oh okay. So we were just always outside and didn't watch much TV. Which I guess is healthier but somewhat horrifies me. But then when I started I remember like an elementary school. I didn't know people are talking about a lot. Did you feel totally left out? I did. Was there anything specific that like always came up at elementary school? Or like did you ever try to fake it and be like oh yeah I've seen that. And I didn't even have the marks to fake it. I was just kind of like skulk away. I was just like walk up and be like where do you guys talk in a boat? What is that? I never heard of it. And then they would they just be like oh my god. Yeah they'd be like where are you from? I'd be like I'm from here. Where are you from? Yeah are you from this country? Well how do you not know what Mr. T is or something? But I didn't even know like people would always talk about Thriller and Michael Jackson. You didn't even know that? I didn't know about that until like much later. Wow I remember the year Thriller was huge so like 1984 or so. I was four years old and at my elementary school they had this thing called pumpkin fest every October and so for some reason this particular year they hired a Michael Jackson impersonator. But I didn't really understand the concepts of an impersonator. I didn't know that was a thing. Like why are you four years old? Like why would you think that was a thing? So I went and my uncle took me who my mother has like nine kids in her family and my uncle is only like 12 years older than me so he must have been not 15 or something. So he took me to go see it and I thought for all intents and purposes that I saw Michael Jackson. Like I'm like yeah Michael Jackson played a horseman school in Melrose and makes sense. Why don't you? And so I told people that later and that was when I learned the concept of people calling you a liar. They're like you're like no I he did Thriller. He came out in the leather jacket so you missed out on that kind of heartache by not knowing it all so in many ways you were better off. I guess so. But then I think it was better that I you know later became more familiar with Michael Jackson's stuff and then I you know I've always loved his music once I actually listened to it. So did you listen to the radio and stuff too or you just? I did but growing up for most of my young child and my parents listened to country music so that's what I listened to too. That's weird in the in because you grew up in the North Shore or Boston right? Yeah I did. So that that's not a big country music popular country music area. It's not but so like I wasn't much of a music person. My sister started listening. It's like Whitney Houston. Okay the pockets of your dad. The band again. Yeah and her was self-control. Cindy Lauper you know. Oh yeah yeah. So I would listen to a little bit of it but not that much. I met Cindy Lauper once. Oh my god that's amazing. That's very exciting. My Aunt Helen's a big fan. Okay. And I went and saw Cindy Lauper play at the Boston Common when I was 12 years old. 13 it was actually part of the same year as this TV guide. Okay. And I had a long conversation with her about the Goonies. Awesome. And then Paula Abdul was also there. Oh wow. Who's autograph I got just because she was there. Nice. I was like I'm not a huge Paula Abdul fan but I feel like I need to get her autograph. That's a big Paula fan. Really? Definitely yeah. Do you what was your favorite Paula Abdul song? Um I like straight up. Okay so you like the rockin' Paula Abdul. Yeah I like to show another album after that called Spellbound. Spellbound is pretty good. Spellbound is pretty good. Yeah there's a Prince cover on Spellbound. That's a very good song. Isn't that okay? Yeah it's the last song on the record. It's a Prince cover. And I feel like Rush the video for Rush was probably Keanu Reeves' finest work. Yeah he did a good job. He's really underrated in that video. So let's start right at Saturday night. What'd you pick for eight o'clock? I picked My Girl. So this is not the series My Girl which is based on this movie but this is the network television premiere of the heartwarming family movie about first love starring Macaulay Culkin, Anna Klumski, and Jamie Lee Curtis and Dan Aykroyd. Uh this movie's pretty depressing. It's very depressing and for me like something that I always brag about personally is that I've never been stung by a bee. Okay so you don't know if you're allergic or not? I'm not so like to me when I saw Macaulay Culkin get stung by the bee I was like see because like I always brag because like I'm like whenever I see a bee I just run. Right. I run as much as I can. That's what I've always done my whole life and Macaulay didn't do that. That's why he died. So you ran before that this isn't what taught you to run from bees. No I thought she's like always my... It's just reinforced here. Yeah I was like see Macaulay should have ran. If you would just run. I remember I saw this movie my parents used to go to the movies every Wednesday. I never missed a Wednesday and I actually go in Sogas a lot where the square one mall is now. Yeah he's a theater there. I went there and thought I saw ET. Yes I saw ET in Medford Square that was called the Medford 3. That was the first movie I ever saw in the theater. And I used to go to the one in Sogas a lot but they asked me never to come back. Because I was four years old and my mother dropped me and my uncle off there and gave us like $20 for snacks. I ate all the snacks and then I threw up all over the screen for a turn of the Jedi. How do you so that that must have been a projectile? Yes. And a really intense time from a border wall. Yeah this was like a geyser. It was horrific. That's an intense time. Yeah so they were like please don't ever come back here again. Wow. I didn't ever go back to that theater and then I used to go to this theater in stone them all the time which then became a supermarket which was really strange. So and I used to shop at that supermarket so it would be like oh the deli counter. This is where I saw a space camp. It would be very very weird. But I saw my girl at the assembly square of cinemas because my parents would just drop me off. Yeah. Sometimes and just be like go see a movie. So I was in there and there was nothing else. It's like everything was either sold out. Like I didn't really like Macaulay Culkin. I like Dan Aykroyd. So that's why I was like well I'll go see a Dan Aykroyd movie. And the scene where he dies is pretty intense. Pretty depressing. But then the funeral scene is comedically bad when she starts freaking out that he doesn't have his glasses and he can't see without his glasses. And I sort of through a mixture of shock and nerves started laughing a lot. Like you know you're not supposed to laugh and they kicked me. They kicked me out. Some teenage girls when I was probably 12 went and got the usher and I was asked to leave. Yeah that's I could understand like girls doing that in a showing of my girl. Yeah I understand. That was a really emotional movie. It was weird that they made a sequel. That was a my girl too. Yeah this is a my girl too. Oh no. Yeah without Macaulay Culkin. So what did it was just the girl dwelling on his death? Yeah I think so. I've never seen it but it seemed weird that that would be cause he's a pretty big character in that movie. Yeah that must have been just really even more depressing. It seems like a person. And would you just be like oh watch out for that tree. Yeah let me tell you a friend who took it a little too far. Right she just travels around doing cautionary stories about bees at different elementary schools. Do not go near bees. She's on Veep now. Which is she's very good. And if you haven't seen. I haven't seen Veep. Veep is very good. Did you see in the loop? I didn't. That's the movie that sort of kicked off. But she had not acted for like decades. And then she's really really funny in Veep. Oh that's awesome. So it's kind of cool to see her again. But yeah depressing movie but you picked it because you enjoyed it. And this 1991 sentimental coming of age tale about a hypochondriac, a hypochondriacal. Which I don't even know if that's a word but what a big word for TV guide. Yeah I don't think that that's a word. They could have just said an 11 year old girl who's a hypochondriac. Okay so the girl I also say he was. Because that's my favorite. She was. She was. And I forgot that Dachroyd her dad is an undertaker. Which is weird. I'm so sorry. He has to do the preparation from a Kali Culkin for the funeral. Bad scenes pretty screwed up. Yeah. That's grim. Why was this such a popular film? Yeah I only I just remember the bee scene and that always stuck with me. Yeah I I know that's the only thing I remember about that. But I just remember like their sweet little romance. Oh yeah. Because it was a sweet little movie until they're just like oh you've had too much. Now everyone dies from from the sudden bee stings. I remember I got I got stung by a bee once when I was a kid. And my grandmother who is nuts was like oh you put mustard on that. Which I've never heard before after. Did that make it worse or better? I don't really know. It kind of made it weird. I was like I don't this doesn't seem to be. I don't think mustard would make it sting because mustard. It's got some spice to it. I don't know what the weird I grew up in Rhode Island and I'm 70 years old wives tale she got for for mustard. But I can tell you that it didn't work for me. It was not an effective thing. Now I probably would have watched that and I probably would have passed on my girl having already seen it and had a bad experience of being asked to leave the theater. So I think I would have gone with another movie. A movie called The Stuff about Killer Yogurt. Yes it's a really good movie. It is a real movie. From 1985 it was directed by Larry Cohen and it started Garrett Morris from Center at Lives in it. It's not really a comedy and it's about Killer Yogurt. It's sort of a satire on junk food culture. So is it just an actual large container of yogurt drifting through the town? No. And that sort of way. So what happens is this yogurt leg substance starts bubbling up from the ground and some guys eat it and they're like it's pretty good and then they start marketing it and it starts like controlling people's minds and then eating them from the inside. So when it's bubbling out of the ground is it coming out of a sewer? Is it coming out of a lawn? You know it's more like a Beverly Hillbillies oil field kind of bubbling. Okay it's like actually white colored yogurt. It's like white yogurt. Yeah yeah and they saw that they walked up to when it ate it. Yeah the guy goes what is this shit? And then he's like ah it's pretty good. That's not the reaction I would have thought I was on a farm and I saw a white substance coming from the ground. You're just coming from anywhere. I don't think you would be like what is this? I would just like bees I would run. Yeah that's a good idea. So bees and ground yogurt are two things you want to run away because both will kill you. So this yeah it says a horror spoof about a gooey dessert that and we're not putting you on. TV guides sometimes had whoever this writer was and I've started to be able to tell who wrote what synopsis because there's one guy who loves puns and he says we're not putting you on consumes those who eat it gives it two stars. I'd probably give it two and a half that's a two and a half star movie. I saw this in the theater actually in 1985 believe it or not. How's that movie that's so bad that it makes you laugh? Oh yeah it's funny it's funny Danny Ayello gets killed by a dog possessed by yogurt. I think it might be Danny Ayello's first spin rule but the yogurt looks like vanilla yogurt and my dad after we saw it made a label that looked like the stuff label from the movie and put it on some yogurt and put it in our fridge to terrify me and he was successful. It was very scary. He used to like to do that if we'd see a horror movie like I saw the movie invaders from Mars and in that movie kids parents got taken over by aliens and they had these band-aids on the back of their necks because that's where like the alien control device was. So my dad started wearing a band-aid on the back of his neck and being like hello Ken. It was he was a cruel man. It's a cruel man. So we went with movies on Saturday night so we didn't have to pick anything from that to our block. What'd you go with on Sunday night at 8 o'clock? I went with Before They Were Stars. So Before They Were Stars is a show that I totally forgot about until you pick this TV guide and so this was a show on it was a network show and it wasn't every week but it was they would do specials every so often and so this was on ABC and this is the second in a series of occasional shows on celebrities early work featuring musical performances by Elizabeth Taylor, Tina Turner, Jaleo White, Patty Duke, and Rock Hill Welch. I can probably say that's the only time Jaleo White has been on a list with Elizabeth Taylor, Tina Turner, Patty Duke, and Rock Hill Welch. The dating game contestants Don Johnson, John Ritter, Carl Weathers, Mark Harmon, and Bob Saggot and sitcom cameos by Janet Jackson, Hal Linden, and Jim Belushi and an early performance by Joan Rivers, Rosie O'Donnell, Dave Cooley, and Paul Reiser. Yeah, that's awesome. This is Jim Pack. Yeah, that's like the best show ever. Yeah, this was a great show and it was hosted by Joey Lawrence and Richard Carned. Amazing. Yeah. Well, I'm not sure who Richard Carned is. Richard Carn was on Home Improvement. Was he a guy with a beard? He got with a beard. Yeah, he later hosted Family Feud. Okay, I know who he is then. Yeah, so this was always an enjoyable show. I always liked it. It was basically an excuse to show a lot of clips from Star Search. Yeah, it was amazing. Yeah, I also really enjoy when they would show old stand-up comedy clips, which she didn't get to see that often, which was always kind of fun. So I think that's a good move. This was a special. It wasn't every week. It was a good move. There wasn't a lot else on this Monday night. You had Murder She Wrote. The Jewel of the Nile was on, which isn't the best movie. Yeah, I'm not sure the best I saw that one. That's the sequel to Romancing the Stone with Kathleen Turner. And they're super-mancing the Stone. Yeah, Romancing the Stone was better. But The Simpsons was also on at this time. This is where I moved to Sunday nights. I would definitely watch them on Sunday. So I didn't notice that. So this is the episode where Homer becomes tabloid TV fodder after a babysitter accuses him of sexual harassment, which is a good episode. Dennis Frans does a voice in that episode from my PD Blue. So definitely would have watched before they were stars. Yeah, I would have definitely seen The Simpsons as well. Were they on the same time bracket? Yeah, So Simpsons was on at eight and four was Star Design. That's a tough call. I would have definitely seen The Simpsons, I think. But I do not recall that Dennis Frans episode. So maybe I did tune in to be funny with Star Design. Because it wasn't every week. I mean, this was a special occasion. Because to me, that would have been a very exciting show. I mean, you could have watched The Simpsons and then watched the second half hour of Before There Were Stars. Maybe I'd, yeah. But I don't remember The Dennis Frans episode. So you probably definitely watched Before There Were Stars. You might have missed it. And now you can go back and see it. I could. But you can't go back and see Before There Were Stars. So I think you made the right movie. OK, maybe I did. It's more difficult to see. So nine o'clock, what'd you go with? I said "Father of the Bride." So you watched another movie, a lot of movies. I'm more a movie person. I love the movie "Father of the Bride." This isn't the original. This is the remake. Yeah, the Steve Martin. Steve Martin, Martin, Martin Short. It's named Kimberly. Oh, the main girl plays the, I don't think it is Kimberly. It's, I will think of it. I will think of it. What is her name? No, Diane Keaton's mother. Yeah, Diane Keaton's in it. Let me see if it's Kimberly Williams. You're right, yeah. And she was in a bunch of stuff for like two years and then disappeared. Yeah, but she was great in that movie. And I always, I always wondered what happened to us. Yeah, she's a good actor. I haven't seen her in anything in years. Yeah. This is, they give "Father of the Bride" three stars. So it's one star better than the stuff. It should be a lot more stars better than a lot of things. It's a good movie. Had a lot of heart. Yeah, it was good. This was the network television premiere of this as well. So what a big week. We got my girl. We got "Father of the Bride." I didn't see, what was it, the woman they have a kid, the father of the bride sequel called like a daughter of the bride or a baby of the bride or something like that. I just saw the first one. The first one. I saw that in the theater for me. That is a good one. Yeah, I saw it in a theater. Been probably on TV as well. I think that was a good move. There's not a lot of other stuff on this night at nine o'clock. Although on the Spanish channel, you do have a polycula or a movie in Spanish called Escapate Conmigo, which I believe translate to. Why don't you escape with me? I think if my Spanish is maybe rusty, but it's something like that. But it does feature the phrase un ombre, mayor, which sounds pretty exciting. Does mayor mean bad? I think it won't. And it's spelled M-E-J- M-A-Y-O-R. So I don't know if that's the mayor or major. It's a major man or a mayor man. Okay, yeah, I didn't watch that. No, I wouldn't think you would watch the movies in Spanish. I generally didn't. I didn't know it was really good. Yeah, so that was really the only thing was on it. There's not a lot of other shows on it this night. For some reason, in this particular week, it's a lot of movies. I think probably because it's post Thanksgiving week, you have a lot of families just sitting and watching movies. Sunday, Sunday is a movie night. It is kind of a movie night. There is a lot of other movies on, so you have National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1 is on at the same time, which is a terrible movie. Oh, okay. Have you ever seen that? It happened. It's like in the wake of Naked Gun, it's a very punny million jokes-a-minute Mad Magazine-type movie that's a parody of lethal weapons starring Emilio Estvez. Okay. I would not recommend it. Oh, okay. Yeah, it came out the same time as Carl Reiner directed a very similar movie called Fatal Instinct that was a similar parody of basic instinct. Okay. It's also not very good. I don't see Fatal Instinct, but I just see Basic Instinct. Do you remember how you saw Basic Instinct with your parents? So it's so awkward. In the theater? No, we rented it. Oh, and no one stopped it at any point? No, it was my most awkward movie. Who's pick was that? I don't remember. We just go to the new releases section and you're like, "I heard this is all right." I don't remember. I just remember it was just like a family like, "Oh, it's time to rent a movie." Did you feel like you couldn't get up and leave the room? Because it would have made it obvious. Why you really made the room? Wow, was that the most awkward movie you watched with your parents? I think so. Yeah, I would say that has to be. Yeah, I can't think of anything, any major studio release that could possibly be worse to watch your parents in Basic Instinct. That sounds like something that a court would sentence someone to. Like, I sentence you to watch Basic Instinct with your parents and you can't leave the room. You have to watch it. Did anyone say anything after the movie or people just like, "Well, there you go, go to bed." It's just like a yup, there you go. It never comes up. It never comes up, never talked about. You're going to have like some Christmas in like five years. Like it's going to be like midway through dinner and like one of your parents is going to be like, "Remember when we watched Basic Instinct? What the hell is that about?" I don't think I picked it out. Yeah, at least we didn't pick it out. Well, maybe I did. I don't remember. But I just remember watching it with my mom and dad. And my sister wasn't there. I don't know how she got out of it. She was like, "I'm not watching this garbage. I'm sick. I have to wash my hair." She's older or younger sister? She's four years older than me. All right, so she was more wise. Yeah, she probably knew she was like, "Oh, hell no. I'm not a hero." Yeah, but didn't warn you. Because I wonder if your parents wouldn't have heated that warning. You're like, "I don't know if you got it." We can handle it. How awkward. I got my dad one time rented a movie for... I was homesick with the flu or something. I was maybe like eight years old. So he just went down to the video store and rented horror movies. Like he just grabbed a bunch of them. And one of them was to this day, one of the most offensive things I've ever seen in my life. It was a horror movie called Splatter, the architects of fear. And it was just like nudity and violence. And I was like, "This is gross." And then he came in and yelled at me for watching it. "Oh, you're watching this garbage." And I was like, "You rented this for me." And then he went like, "Oh." And just left the room. It was very awkward, but not as awkward as watching basic kids stick with them. So Monday night, would you go with it at your clock? I'm Fresh Prince. Fresh Prince, a very popular choice. Almost everyone has picked Fresh Prince if that was on during those years. And so this is sort of right at the height of Fresh Prince's power since 1994. This is on a date with another woman, Will feels love for Lisa. And in a weighted suit, he feels what exercised guru Susan Powder as herself. Hope she'll be empathy for Uncle Philip. Do you remember Susan Powder? Yeah, she's still around, doesn't she? Is she still around? Is she-- I'm thinking of-- Susan Summers? No, there's another business savvy woman who after her name is also Susan Olson or something like that. Susie Ormond. Susie Ormond. Yeah, she's on my PBS and she's like, "Invest your money!" Yeah, she's a business gal. Susan Powder was an exercise guru. And she was-- there was two phenomenons in the 90s. Well, there was more than two, but these two specific ones that she fell into this category. One was people who were like, "I used to weigh 700 pounds!" And now I don't! And it was like her and that guy who was just with Yale Technique. He had like a ponytail. And he invented this machine called the gazelle. Oh! What was his name? Tony Little. That was his name. Okay. I actually met him at the square one mall, speaking of bogus. A hell of a lot of people. Yeah, a lot of malls. A lot of people at malls. And it's got bail at a mall. And I met designer Tottled, I met a mall. Oh, nice. I was really into MTV's house of style at the time and made my high school girlfriend go with me to meet this designer. And take my picture with him. Very weird. But Tony Little was at the square one mall trying to sell some kind of exercise drinks. And he literally, he stabbed his infomercial on all the time that was like, "I was in a car accident and I weighed 700 pounds." And he'd show this picture of him like sitting in front of a TV wearing 700 pounds. And he's like, "Nah, I'm in good shape." And Susan Powder was one of those people. She was like a housewife. She weighed like 400 pounds and then lost all the weight. And she had like really short spiked bleach blonde hair. If I saw her picture, I bet I totally knew what she was. She looked like the girl singer from Roxette. If you remember the pen Roxette. She was very similar to that. But she was huge for like three years. It sounds super familiar. She was on every TV show. She put out a book called Stop the Insanity. Okay, yes. Yes. I know Stop the Insanity. Oh, now that you say Stop the Insanity. Yeah, now I know. I hope powder is. That was her weight loss technique. She was just like, "Stop the Insanity." She had a talk show for a while. She was a guest star on Fresh Prince and things like that. And now she's kind of gone. Yeah, I missed the Fresh Prince Susan Powder episode. Yeah, you've missed all the big guest stars. I missed all the big guest stars. Dennis Fran, Susan Powder. Oh, God. What were you doing? Oh, my gosh. You missed out on these things. What the hell is I doing Monday night? And Monday night? Well, you weren't watching Susan Powder. Yeah, I guess I was in Miss Blossom that night too. Blossom was at 8.30. Is that what you normally would have gone with? I would have hoped to, because I was always a goldmine when I was younger, because I remember me and my sister would battle over whether we watched Blossom or there was some other show that she would watch. She liked Dave's world. That was what was on opposite Blossom. Well, no, but I think when-- this is sort of like a later part of Blossom. Yeah, this is the later she was. I remember when it first came out. That was when everyone talked about it in school. And I used to miss it then, because my sister would watch some other show. You don't remember what it was. I don't remember. But I remember I get so upset, because I would miss Blossom. I would also miss my two dads. I love my two dads. And I would always miss that, because my sister would have to watch a certain show that she liked. Some soap opera type show. Yeah, it was more soap opera-y then. So you only had one TV in the house? Yeah. So that makes sense as to why you all watched Basic Instinct. And you all had a watch thing. And did you always only have one TV, or did you ever get a TV in your room? But I was in high school. I got my own TV, and then I got cable. Did you purchase that yourself? Like, with an after-school job, or was that like a gift? I got the TV as a gift, and then I think I paid for the cable of my job. Oh, you paid for your own cable in your room? Yeah, and I started working when I was a freshman in high school. Okay. So I started. I did. All right, all right. It's good to have your own money. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah, you're like, I have my own cable. It's fine, don't you? Yeah, I remember having my own phone line, which I never used, but I just like- I have my own phone line as well. I got it. No one ever calls me, but I have it. I talked on the phone for hours, which is like a stupid crap. Yeah, I remember talking to people where you would just sit there on the phone, not really saying anything, like both watching the same show or something. Yeah, we just watched a Simpsons together, and be like, oh my god, you just see what Homer did. Yeah, I don't think kids do that now. I guess they like text or something. They do. But it would be hours. Did you ever fall asleep on the phone talking to someone? I probably did. I used to do that to people all the time, all the time. And it was totally normal. Like, when you go to school and they'd be like, I fell asleep last night. I'm like, oh, yeah, okay. Or sometimes I would just hang up on people. And like, not even, because it was just like, so like, I always forgot that I was even on the phone. They weren't even talking. And they'd be like, I called back, and they'd be like, oh, you just hung up me. I was like, oh, my god, I forgot we were on the phone. That's bad. That's pretty bad. Because we were just kind of, we were just such a meeting. We weren't talking about anything. It's like, oh, that's right. We were on a phone. I used to know a guy who would hang up on you without saying goodbye. Like, that was how he ended conversation. So just when he was done, when he was done talking, he would just hang up. So you'd still be talking, and you're like, oh, oh, he's gone. But it was never, because that situation you was described as like, we haven't said anything for about 20 minutes. Yeah, I definitely do. I used to call radio stations a lot. That was like big when I was in high school. So I had my own phone. I had my radio in there. I hardly ever slept. So I'd be like making requests at all the college stations. I called this 108 once, and they put me on the air. Did you do a dedication? I just did a request thing. And I requested a salt and pepper song. Nice, what salt and pepper song? I think I said push it. Nice. Nice. I had to be push it. Yeah. And then it was like, I recorded it. And it was like the biggest, the most significant thing that had happened. Oh, yeah. Because it was like my freshman year of high school. So this was like-- Did you make copies of the tape to like play for all your friends? You're like, here's me. You don't kiss one away. Yeah, it just sounds like an idiot. Yeah, but everybody does in their radio. Yeah. Yeah, it was-- but it was such a thrill. Oh, yeah. Did you used to call and enter contests and that sort of stuff? No, I never took-- I just took it. This was like the biggest thing I did, was just to call and do the request. Did you really have to psych yourself up for it and be like, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. Yeah, and I was-- And when they actually had me on and then I realized I was on the air, I was horrified. Oh, it was a surprise. Like, you just-- they're like, hey, you're on the air. Yeah, and it scared me. I was just like, oh my god, I couldn't believe it. It was like, nothing will ever-- Your life is-- Yeah, your life has now been split into before this phone calling after this phone call. Yeah, I was like, oh my goodness. Wow, have you been on a radio station since then? Yes. When I was living in New York, I was on a radio show called Joey. It's this guy named Joey Edmonds, it was a show I don't know if he still does, but it was like, I'm really late. Did your request push it? I didn't know. It wasn't like, it was a talk rate. Yeah, but you could still request push it. I should have. I always thought it was funny when kids would call up pop stations to request songs that they're going to play anyway. So they'd play like five songs and kids would be like, I really want to hear this song. You're probably going to play the next three songs anyway. Because when I worked at a radio station, we would get requests all the time. But the only ones you would put on the air were songs that you already had queued up. So people, I should have known that's how it worked. And I was like 19 years old, but I was like, oh man, no. It was like, hearing there's no Santa. I'm like, wow, the requests don't really work. It's such a futile thing. These were all requested such a common song. Because you knew you'd make it. Yeah, so they were like, yeah, we have that. For a while, I got obsessed with prank calling, specifically Kiss 108, which is our Kiss FM pop station here in the Boston area. On every night at nine o'clock, they'd do dedications. Okay. And so when I was like 13, I would do dedicating, I would like once a week, I would do like dedications. And I'd be like, uh, hey, this song goes out to Brenda. Cause hey, I'm happy it's not mine, but I love you. It would be stuff like that. What they are, Eric. Yeah, I get them on sometimes. Oh, wow. And then there'd be real ones that I'm like, that's even worse than the fake one I did. Okay. That's pretty bad. And that was like a, that was a big thrill. Okay. I never told anyone about them or like tape. But when you're younger, that stuff is exciting. And you, oh yeah. You're reaching out and making your mark on the world. I just want to wait that. Like I, that was the station. It was huge. Yeah, huge. They do, uh, bad prank phone calls. It was every classic radio cliche that was in the station. They're still around. They're still around. They still listen to them. It's just sometimes. I hardly ever listen to music radio anymore. There's like, right. I used to, like my big station was, um, 101.7 FMX. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's where I worked when I, when I found out that the, the, uh, that the request didn't matter. Yeah. And, um, I was sad when they went, it was very depressing. Yeah. Cause that's why I thought that about all the newer bands. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. And now I don't, like I tuned into like Emerson station. Now, sometimes they have some. There is some good college stations in the Boston area. Like we, we were lucky to grow up here if you wanted to hear like cool music because we had a ton of really good college stations. Some of them are still around. Like you have WMBR, which was actually WTBS and Ted Turner bought TBS, the letters from them. For millions and millions of dollars. And it funded the station for decades. He spoke at my college graduation. Ted Turner? Yeah, Ted Turner and Jane Fonda. Where did you go to college? I went to Emerson. Oh, did they go to Emerson? Um, I don't think so. They just came to speak about, what did they even talk about? Well, for graduation, when they do the commencement speech, do we have, um... Yeah, I have Brian Wilson at mine, but I didn't go. Okay. You didn't go? I, well, I, I did my last semester in, in England. I graduated from Northeastern. Okay. And I transferred to a place called Goldsmiths University in London, which was like an art school. Okay. But you would go there, but still technically graduate from Northeastern. So your credits would count. Turn to Northeastern, it was some weird thing. So I, I finished school there, and then I worked for a year. And so while I was working on the graduation was, and they got Brian Wilson. And they'd never had anyone I ever cared about until my graduation. Okay. And then I never got my diploma either. Like I graduated, but there was, this is a weird thing. There was another kid named Kenneth William Reed in my graduating class at Northeastern. And they sent him my diploma and his diploma. And so I was like, I, I called them, I'm like, I never got my diploma. And they're like, we soon will send it again. And I would like confirm my address. And they'd send it again. And I wouldn't get it. And then I found out that this kid was getting them. And then they were like, oh, we'll send it, but it's going to be $70 because we sent like three of them. And so later I found this kid on my space or something. And he was like, oh yeah, my student loans got messed up because of you who see the same name. And then he was like, yeah, I'll mail you yours. And then he died. Oh my god, that's awful. Yeah, he got like leukemia or something. Oh my god, that's awful. And died. Yeah, he didn't get sung by bees or even by a killer yogurt. Leukemia is far worse. That's pretty bad. Yeah. And he can't run away from that. And yeah, so I never got, I never got my diploma, but I guess it's worse for him. Yeah, that's so sad. Yeah, it was really weird. I like really freaked me out. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So that's my-- Yeah, they want freaked me out too. If someone had the same exact name as you. That sounded like a homemade story that they died of leukemia. I'd be like, really? Yeah, I was like-- I think it was just like a whole-- Well, I became-- I didn't think that someone was messing with me. I know, they're just making it out. I became my space friends with him on there. Okay. And then that's how I noticed. I'm like, oh, because people would be like, hang in there. And then someone was like, oh, so I do an ounce. And I was like, Jesus Christ. I was pretty depressing. Have you ever met anyone with the same exact name as you? Never. I think I'm the only bell cat about there. That's pretty good. There's too many kind of three. It's like, I'm the third one in my family. And it's very confusing. Okay. And I get-- we were talking before the show. There was a kid who confused me for a dead British comic book artist who has the same name, which clearly I'm none of those things. Yeah, I've never got mixed up because of my name. But have you got mixed up for other reasons? Well, it's when I was people-- I know when I first moved to New York, when I lived there for a bit, sometimes when I was visiting LA, people would come up to me. And they looked like they were-- they were like, oh my god, are you? And they go, oh. I think that's probably an LA thing. Yeah. And then they just got horribly disappointed when they realized I wasn't this person-- Who they thought. And then you never found out who this person was. Yeah, I noticed whenever I go to LA, like anytime you go in anywhere, everyone sort of sizes you up. Like, is this a famous person? And they kind of really stare at you for a second. And then they're like, no. And then they kind of calculate if it's worth, if you're worth acknowledging. But I think that's probably unique to there. I did also at Northeastern. I had basically a guidance counselor. And she thought my name was Dave. I have no idea why she thought my name was Dave. And so every time I'd go in there and she'd be like, Dave, where have you been? And I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about. Like, my name's not Dave. And we had to hand in-- we did these things called co-ops, which were almost like internships that you had credit for. And she's like, Dave, I never got your co-op form. And I'm like, yes, you did. It doesn't say Dave, because it's not my name. And she's like, no, I don't have it here. I'm like, no, you wouldn't. Because my name is not Dave. And I showed her my license. Oh, man. And she was like, I don't know what you're pulling. Like, I was like, is she crazy or is she just really messing with me? She never acknowledged that my name wasn't Dave. Wow. It's very weird. Okay. Very weird. That is weird. So anyway, 8.30, you would go with Blossom. This one also-- This is a week of guest stars. Big time guest stars. This one is when Shelly goes into labor, Blossom 6 and Joey are under the gun to get her to the hospital while Anthony is being held at gunpoint and in ambulance during the emergency, guest star Phyllis Diller. Oh my god. Was she not holding the gun? She probably was the one holding the gun. Big time guest star Phyllis Diller. There's so many sitcom plots that are about being under duress during a labor. I mean, I can name 20 shows and I've never-- I've known a lot of people that have had children. I've never heard of anything crazy happening like that. Yeah, I haven't either. But I'm sure it must happen. Elevators? See, like you're running from bees, I don't take elevators because of TV shows I'm convinced that I will get trapped in an elevator with a pregnant woman. Oh wow. Who will give birth? That would be a scary situation. That would be very scary. But then you help and then they name the kid after you, if TV's-- Yeah, but you are able to help. If you even can. Yeah, I don't even think I could. Because maybe when something like that happens, you do have the instinct to know what to do and it just comes out in that moment. I don't think that would happen. You think you would just be like, I know exactly what to do. It just-- and there's like a packet in my brain that dissolved in this information. Because maybe just from like all the movies you've seen or just like that human-- That human instinct. That human instinct. You just know like all this is what I do. I don't know. I have very little faith that I have any human instincts. Any sort of survival or paternal or any sort of instincts. You never know. I remember in 10th grade, I had this really weird biology teacher whose brother was on center and at live once. He told us because his brother was in a band called Kid Creole in the coconuts. And one day he came into class and he had like a big paint bucket. This is a disgusting story. Oh, just one here in front. And so he puts on rubber gloves and he opens his paint bucket and he starts pulling this thing out of the bucket and it was a placenta. And he's like, yeah, someone brought this in for extra credit a few years ago. It was his brother's. It was disgusting. And then he made us watch a video of childbirth. And it was so for those reasons alone, I do not think any sort of instinct would kick in. I probably would have just been like, I'd can't do it. Yeah, I would just see, I think I would be a good support person. Like for the person who's helping them. Well, or just maybe if that person going through it, I would just be like, I'd be a good calming person. But then once the baby started making his appearance, I wouldn't I'd be scared about hurting it or something by touching it. So I'd be like, you can do it. Holy shit. Did I get that out of here? I don't know. Maybe like an Instagram kick it for me. But I'm always having a fear with like a newborn baby that I would drop it. You gotta break it. Yeah. Like I just hold my sister's baby when that was a newborn. I'd be terrified. But I only hold it like sitting down under very controlled circumstances. Right, right. Where like it was handed to me very gently. And it was like a horde of people around me just in case something happened. Well, are you the kind of person who's like, oh, can I hold the baby? Are you the kind of person who people are like, hey, hold the baby. And then you're like, I think I'm done now. I said, you know what? Can I hold the baby? Is this legit? Right. For me, it's like I question the whole-- Right. Is this okay to do this? And I was like, listen to you as I haven't held the baby before. You should know this about me. Right. And I warned everyone. And I was like, I'm going to sit down. Then I, you know, I explain we have to have this be very controlled. Right. So I'm that kind of person. Like, I just warned everyone about what you're dealing with. I like the fact that you warned them. As if something went wrong, you could be like, look, I told you that I had never done this before. So it's really your fault that this happened. I just make it so as when everyone to be like on their utmost watch. Yes. You'd be like, be on high alert because something might happen. Yeah. I think that's fair. And that's usually what I do. I'm like, I really don't know how to hold that baby. The closest I've come to helping someone give childbirth is we had a cat that had kittens. And it had them on my sister. My sister was sleeping, woke up, and started screaming. And we all went in there. And the cat was like on top of her having kittens. Oh my god. And she was just trapped there. Like, you can't get up. Because you're like, how do you do it? So she had to sit there for like an hour and a half. And we all said, I remember standing in the other side of the room. Because it was gross being like, you can do it. It said, you're almost done, I think. I don't know. Because you don't, like, at least with a human, you're like, there's only one baby. Yeah, with cats. Yeah, man. You don't know how many there are. Oh, man. You're like, oh, well, here's four. That might be the end. I don't know. There might be more. Yeah. That was probably horrific for her. And sadly, really ruined a period of her when sleeping bag, which is the true tragedy. Yeah, that is. True tragedy. So Blossom, good pick. Nine o'clock, what would you go with? Murphy Brown. Murphy Brown. Love Murphy Brown. Yeah, me too. Every-- I still watch that whenever I can. It doesn't really have a lot of love for it these days, because it didn't really go into syndication. It's not really a rerun very often. If you had sit-in, I remember-- I went through a phase with that show. And when I was younger and it was on, my favorite character was Corky. Yeah. She's probably the most cartoonish character on the show. Yeah, that was always my favorite kind of character when I was younger. But then as I got older, I started to go more in the Murphy something. The more cynical Murphy style. Pardon my eating. Yeah, no problem. What are some other characters like Corky that you liked? Like, did you watch New Heart and like Stephanie or-- Just any Corky-esque character? I don't remember. I did watch a little bit of New Heart. But I don't really remember. Don't remember my story. I just remember like the two guys weren't they like burn and burn or something. There's Larry Darryl and Darryl. OK, those guys were really good. Yeah, I remember thinking that was hilarious. That is really funny. Yeah. But that's all I really remember about the show. I don't think you're alone. That's probably your average person. That's probably all they remember about New Heart. But I feel like I should go back and watch it. It's a great show. Yeah, I think you'd really enjoy it. Yeah. It's a very, very good show. So I would have gone with Murphy Brown as well. At 9.30, that's a tough call. What'd you go with? I'd go with anything. Murphy bounced my last pick for that night. I would have gone with on Comedy Central. There was a short-lived comedy show called "London Underground" that was British Stand-Ups. And it was filmed in London. And it was pretty cool. It was odd to get exposed to stand-up from England every week. I feel like it was only on for about half a year. But I never saw that. It was really cool. And every so often you'd have a US stand-up on it. I remember seeing Steven right on it. But it was mostly just all British stand-ups in the mid '90s. So I got exposed to all kinds of really cool acts. It was a cool show. I'd love to see that again at some point. I haven't been able to find any episodes. Yeah, I know when I first got cable and I turned on Comedy Central for the first time, the first show I saw was "Make Me Laugh." Oh, the new "Make Me Laugh." Yeah, well, I didn't know there was an old one. But that's how I got my first exposure to the comedian in an organic airtime on Comedy Central. What a bad way to get exposed to comedians. Yeah, I could never. It was just my first time. I remember just when I first got the cable, I turned it on. That was the first channel I went to. It was pretty central. Then MTV just went back and forth in the two. That's a good mixture. Because for so many years I had lost, I'm not seeing them. Right, right. You're like, "I got to make up for the last time. I can't sleep for the next two weeks." So Tuesday night, eight o'clock, what'd you go with? Rude off the red nose, reindeer. That is definitely the move. This is kicking off the Christmas season. Yeah, absolutely. We watch it every year. We'll get into the Rudolph discussion in a minute, but I just want to note that what Fox had counter-programmed Rude off with was a special called Madonna. In a sense, lost in unauthorized biography. Yeah, I would have been tempted to see that, but I would have still gone with Rudolph, I think. Not very Christmassy. The rise to fame of the material girl is dramatized in this unauthorized biography, which spans 1978 to 1985, as portrayed by newcomer Tarumi Matthews, who has gone on to do nothing. I've never heard of her in anything else. Oh, it's like, I don't know. I thought it was gonna be a guy. No, a guy playing Madonna. No, Tarumi played Madonna. Played Madonna, yep. Okay, that's horrible. Madonna is an aggressive, defined, and impudent personality, whose career choice is personal relationships and romantic entanglements are guided by her own version of the Golden Rule. I take what I need and I move on. Madonna tells her manager, "And if people can't move with me, well, I'm sorry." Wendy Malick's in this movie. Dean Stockwell, I've never seen this. Did Wendy Malick play her manager? Probably. But she seems like-- That's her type of-- As soon as I heard that, I'm like, I see her as playing someone's man. Yeah, I bet she did. I've never heard this, but I kind of really want to see it now. And just looking at the photo, this woman looks exactly like Madonna, which is probably why she didn't do anything else after, because she looks too much like Madonna. Yeah, I remember when that was on. I didn't see it, but I remember it. I don't even remember this. I remember that. Julie Brown's Medusa, Truth or Dare parody movie. Okay, now I remember when that was on. I don't remember this, but I feel like I need to hump this down now. This looks interesting. So Rudolph, every year I still watch it. You still watch it. It's always good. I-- when I was a kid, we-- I recorded it on my VCR and I would even watch it when it wasn't Christmas time. Yeah, in the summer when you really like having the Christmas, you need Christmas at that point. Yeah, like I-- I'm a big fan. Is it your all-time favorite Christmas special? It might be. I think it holds up well on repeated viewings. It's the only one that I bothered to record. Really? Watch-- It's the only one that I make a point to watch every year. Even over Charlie Brown or the Grinch. Well, the Charlie Brown's-- I would watch Charlie Brown and Rudolph over the Grinch. I don't-- Yeah. I don't know, the Grinch. Not a big Dr. Seuss. Oh, no, I love Dr. Seuss. Okay, but the Grinch is not a good Grinch Seuss. But I don't need to see it animated for Dr. Seuss. Gotcha. So you're a purist. I am with Dr. Seuss. I just need to see-- I like his artwork. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book? Cat in the Hat. Cat in the Hat is the classic. Yeah, that's like a design. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the animation-- The Grinch is so Chuck Jones. It doesn't really capture the Seuss stuff that well. I think it does, but I just-- I just rather not see it. It feels weird. Yeah, no, I am. I don't mind. Like, I will watch it sometimes, or something like I have to see. Right. I think that the stop motion animation of Rudolph the Red Desert in there is far more exciting. I just like it. It's got good songs. I don't know. I don't have any particular reason. No, I don't think you need a reason to like-- No, it is. It just grows on me. Even though it does bother me, how rude they are to Rudolph. They're real assholes. They're horrible to him. His own dad is such a dick. And then like, and as I get older, it's like, it gets even more worse. It doesn't make any sense. Like, as a kid, I didn't really notice how bad they are to Rudolph. I wonder what that says about childhood in that there's this thing where everybody is so horrific to this poor kid. And most kids are like, "Yeah, that's how people are." Yeah. But the older you get, you're like, "No, this isn't right." Like, it's not right. It's pretty extreme. Yeah. And I remember I got into an argument with some people I worked with because they were like, "I love Rudolph. I love Herbie." And I'm like, "Who the hell is Herbie?" And they're like, "The elephant." I'm like, "There's no elf named Herbie." His name is Herbie. And they're like, "Now, it's Herbie." And so I can't, I'm a very sore loser. I cannot let things go. I get obsessed about it. So I called, I've tracked down people who used to work for Rankin Bass, which was the studio that made-- Yeah. It was the daughter of one of the-- either Rankin or Bass lived in Rhode Island. So I tracked her town and I called her and I told her that these people didn't believe-- This wasn't that long ago. This was like three or four years ago. I'm like, they don't believe that his name is Herbie. I know it's not Herbie. And she says, "All right, I will-- I have a shooting script for this movie, for this TV show. I will fax you the pages from it." And she faxed me the pages from the script that says, "Herbie." This is crazy. Like, I realized this does not make me look very good. And so I-- So it was indeed Herbie. And you were-- It was Herbie. Yeah, it says it right in the script. And I'm like, "Look, here's the script. I got it from the people that made it." It says, "Herbie." And they were like, "I'm okay." Yeah, it's not. But for some reason I was like, "No, you don't understand." You win, Ken. Yeah, I know. It was-- I definitely lost going that far, that it was not Herbie. Herbie. I used to work with a guy who-- Actually, I worked at a restaurant with a guy who looked exactly like Herbie and had the same haircut and talked like him. And then later I worked at this electrical supply company, and the manager of the store was exactly like the head elf with the weird goatee who was like, "Errr!" And he looked just like him. I think it looked like the head elf. Yeah, that's a popular look. Yeah. It's popular look, especially around these parts. 9 o'clock, would you go with? I didn't go with anything. Nothing. You picked nothing. I just picked Rudolph, and that was it. So there was a made-for-TV movie on this night called "Bionic Ever After." That was a 1994 sequel to both "The Bionic Woman" and "The Six Million Dollar Man." Oh, wow. Why did I not want-- I don't know how you didn't do that. That sounds pretty amazing. It was a world premiere "Bionic Ever After" marks the third TV movie pairing of "The Six Million Dollar Man" and "The Bionic Woman," whose wedding plans are suddenly threatened by sabotage in terrorists. Who played "The Bionic Woman"? It was Lindsay Wagner, and Lee Major, so it was the originals. Yeah, this wasn't a remake. That's awesome. Because they remade "The Bionic Woman" about five or six years ago. OK. It was very, very bad. It was with some Australian actress who was in the lead. It was only on for about six episodes, and it was awful. I think that sound effect in the original-- [INTERPOSING VOICES] Yeah. Oh, yeah. Who doesn't love that? Unsurprised people haven't made some kind of phone app that makes that noise when you jog or something. It seems like-- I still make references whenever someone is doing a great physical feat, and it's a woman, I always say, what are you, the bionic women? It's usually someone who's, like, way younger than me. They're like, what are you talking about? What is "Bionic Man"? Sorry, oh, Lady Cap. Oh, we don't love you. Yeah. Now, trust me, I've had that happen many times. Many times. Some people who have done this podcast had never seen a TV guide before. They've come over and been like, how does it work? What is it? And I'm like, oh, my god. The TV guide is still out there, right? It is, but it was sold in 2005, and it's more like a regular magazine now. OK. And it's kind of like a not as good entertainment weekly, it's sort of the-- but, you know, there's no real need for listings now, because people have it on their TVs. So I'm glad they're still around, but it's very, very different at this time. OK. You also didn't watch the John Larry Ketchow, which is a great show. Did you ever watch Night Court? I saw a few episodes, but I've never-- Oh, what a great show. This was a really good show. Very dark, very, very good show. OK. So Wednesday night, eight o'clock. What'd you go with? I went with Frosty. So you're really hitting all the Christmas specials this week. Well, yeah, because I would guess I would have-- Yeah, I still do. Yeah, because I still do when I can, but I would imagine I made Time for Frosty in '94. It's weird now that-- Oh, yeah. I was watching them way later than I should have been. Like, kids would be like, we're going on a Friday night, and I'd be like, I'm sick. And then I'd watch Frosty. It's weird now. I'll still try to make a point to watching on TV, even though I own them, and I can watch them whenever I want. OK. It's not the same as when it's just on. Say, I don't own them anymore. So if I do want to see them, I have to just see them. I can hook you up. No, I like-- to me, it's more magical to just see it when it's actually on TV. Right, right. But I usually always have that missing at these days. Yeah, you just stumble upon it. Yeah. So Frosty, I watched every year, but it definitely wasn't my favorite Christmas special. I don't-- I really hated how '60s it was, which I've come to kind of grow to enjoy. It totally is. But the thing that I liked is that I liked how it was like-- there was a moment that made me cry, like when he melts in the greenhouse. Yeah, you don't think he's coming back. And it-- I just remember always-- there was no other Christmas cartoon that made me cry. Straight up murder. Yeah, but then he-- Magician murders him. Yeah, and it's just like so-- I remember the first time saying it. Just like, I still cried a few years after, too, right? That's-- That's traumatic. So now you're like, all right, run from bees. Don't go in greenhouses. You're learning all these things that will kill you as a child. Like, this first cartoon is called-- that's definitely one of the few that I can say have made me cry, aside from up, which is more-- Well, up is, yeah. The first 10 minutes of that movie. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. That all sequence, French. Geez. Aside from just frosting up, I can't think of anything now. Did you ever see the Transformers movie? No. In the end of the Transformers movie. The current one was Shia LaBou. No, no, no. The animated one from '85. Oh, no, I didn't see that. So basically that TV show existed to sell toys. Yeah. Much like, you know, Joe, Joe, he, man. And so what they wanted to do with the movie was get rid of all the characters that were on the show. So they could have new characters so that kids next year bought all new toys. So the last 10 minutes of that movie, literally, everyone is just slaughtered. Like, every single character gets killed. And the people who made it were just like, yeah, it's fine. It's a cartoon. And then they'll buy the new ones. And then there's new ones that come out. But I said that in the theater. And it was just 200 kids just seeing the most devastatingly depressing-- They were screaming and crying. It was all their favorite toys just being murdered on a big screen. With no warning, it was-- In hindsight, it was kind of amazing. But at the time, it was very traumatic. Oh, that's-- They would never do that now. This is in the '80s? Yeah, '85, yeah. I started in the Revere cinemas. And it was-- Yeah, there was not a single kid in that room was not just absolutely devastating. I can imagine. Could you imagine if a kid-- No, I don't even know what kids watch now, but like, Pokémon or something. They go see the Pokémon movie and the end of the movie is every single Pokémon being murdered. They would never do that. They would never do it. Because like now, because like-- This is the time like when I was a kid, we didn't wear bike helmets. Right. And like now, because it's just like a different time where everything is just so protected. Well, I'd say so. That would never fly. But they're not learning about consequences. They're not. They're not seeing their favorite cartoons get swallowed. Exactly. If they don't-- If they won't know, don't get shot with a laser beam and run from bees if they don't see the consequences. Yeah. So for us, this no man was 8 o'clock. Only a half hour show. Would you pick at 8.30? Alan. So I never really liked Alan that much. Did you watch the sitcom all the time? I watched two different versions. I think the first version was called "These Friends of Mine." Yes. And then it came back as just Alan. Yes. So I did really like the supporting cast. Like I always liked Ari Gross, who people recognize as being in things. But no one knows his name. He was in the first version. Yes. And then Bruce Campbell was in the later one and one of the Higgins boys, who the thinner one, whose name I can't remember, is the announcer on the Tonight Show now. With Fallon. But the other-- Dave Higgins was on it. He was very, very funny. But I couldn't-- for some reason, I just couldn't get into it. I really tried to like the Ellen show. I've always-- I would just watch anything she did. I liked-- I always like-- Because for me, I remember when I first heard of her, it was through her standup. Yeah. I remember seeing her HBO half hour. Like me and my friend found her on some network television standup thing. OK. And then we'd always forget her name. We'd just always call her the funny blonde girl. Right. Which there was only one at the time. [LAUGHS] That's how we were like, oh. I hope she's doing well. Then there was like some comedy award show that used to be on TV. Yep. Yep. I remember that year Ellen won. And like, we still kind of had forgotten her name. We were like, oh my god, that blonde girl won. Yeah. Yeah. And then she got her on show. Then finally, like, since her character was named Ellen, I mean, we finally-- know her name. Right. Now you knew her. I was like, OK, finally. And I know what this-- The blonde girl's name is. I'm sure there are still people who still call her the blonde girl. It's really-- oh, that blonde girl's hosting that thing. Now she's done well for herself. What you didn't watch was All American Girl with Margaret Cho, which was on it this time. Yeah, I didn't. But I love her stand up. Yeah, I enjoy her stand up too. And I liked some of the cast Judy Gold was in this episode. And I love Judy Gold. She's very, very funny. But this show was just a mess. I mean, she's really detailed how awful it was for her. But it was not a great show. Yeah, I never saw it. They had a real problem with trying to do shows for people who are anything ethnic. It was always the most broad awful thing. Yeah, that's what it sounds like from her. I remember a Yakov Smirnoff had a show called What a Country. And it took place in a nighttime English as a second language class. So it was just the most expensive, awful, just the worst. And there were so many shows like that where it's just like, you're a ethnic, we got it. This is the show. Just terrible. Yeah, I feel bad that that show existed. But I probably would have gone with Ellen if my other choice was All American Girl. 9 o'clock, what'd you go with? I didn't go with anything. I just wanted to talk to you on Ellen. So you passed up Rosanne, which you had mentioned. You never really watched. I didn't watch Rosanne. Do you like it now? Yeah, I didn't watch Rosanne until later in life. Like I went back and watched it when it was in reruns on other networks. You know, I love it now, it wasn't at all. But Rosanne, I never bothered to do it. You appreciate it more. Yeah. I normally would have watched Rosanne, but I'm slightly ashamed to admit that I love this show called Models Inc. I've heard of it. It was a drama about models. And for some weird reason growing up, I was obsessed with the world of modeling. I bet it was a good show, was it? It wasn't a good show. It was like very like dynasties on this episode. Cynthia moves away from Brian physically and emotionally. Julie confronts Craig about his alter ego. Heller lets Hillary have a final visit before Kerry has moved to another institution. And Monique comes face to face with Grayson. Okay. Yeah, so I don't know how it makes sense. Why would that, if you had never seen that show before, would you be like, I don't know, watch that. I think I can understand exactly what's happening. It was a very, you know, like Melrose play-sish. Yeah, I liked Melrose play-s. This was very similar, like I think. I thought I would have liked it, because I did like, soap opera type shows. Yeah, it's probably a show your sister would have been watching. You wouldn't be able to watch it at all. Yeah, and I would have joined on later in the race. Yes, I don't want to watch Models Inc. So that brings us to Thursday night. The whole reason that you picked this particular TV guide, eight o'clock, my so-called life, one of my favorite shows of all time. Yeah, one of my favorites too. Nobody in my high school watched this show. See, one of my good friends in high school was on who told me about it, and I had never heard of it, and she was obsessed. It was a great show. She was the one who got me onto it. This was almost the end of the series. So this was towards the end of December. Yeah, it started to go downhill, actually, towards the end. Yeah, yeah, if you ever read the books, my so-called life goes on. No. Which at first, sounds like it's a mashup of my so-called life and life goes on, which would not be good. Yeah, it would be awful. But it's a continuation of the series written by the people who wrote the show. So there was two books, two paperbacks. You can get them on Amazon for, like, a penny. If you liked the show, it's worth reading. You will get mad. I'll tell you that right now. Some of the plot, like, it's one of those things where you read it and you're kind of like, "I'm glad this got canceled before this happened." But it does give you some amount of closure to the series. Then someone Brian Krakow wrote off on his bike. Yes. Did he read the books? Yeah, I don't want to know. Don't even tell. So you like the ambiguity. You like to decide that something? Yeah, because it was just, like, Brian Krakow was my, he was like, "I had a crush on him." I love Krakow, he's hilarious. I had a crush on him. Like, I think most girls had a crush on Jordan Catalano. He was such a dickhead. Yeah, it's like, I recognize that he was like a pretty boy. Yeah, but he was so mean. But I was in the Brian Krakow team. Krakow was a good guy, you know? I thought that was just like one of the most tragic things I've ever seen and see when he rode away on the bike. Yeah. That first, one of my favorite things is in the pilot when he's riding his bike in circles, talking to Angela, basically telling her that she's not cool. And it's sort of silhouetted. That show was, she was 14 in that show. I was 14 when it was out. So it was like a perfect age for me. I also weirdly feel like, and I don't know if you feel this way too, because we didn't grow up too far from each other, like the next town over. That seemed to be, even though it took place in suburban Pittsburgh, weirdly seemed to capture the look and feel of the suburb that I grew up in. Like, it just felt the most like what I was familiar with, out of any other TV show I've ever seen. A lot like what I knew too. Except, I think the reason why I had a crush on Brian Krakow is because he was a redhead. Okay. And where I grew up, I didn't know many redheads. No, no. So to me, redheads seemed exotic. Yes. He also did have one of the most glorious white men afros. Yeah, he did like, to me, I always had a crush just on like redheaded boys with froze. Okay. For some reason, when I was younger. But now you've gotten over that. Yeah, I don't go that way anymore. But when I was younger, I was just like, yeah. I loved the Life of Brian episode, where he did the narration. Yeah, I liked it. And I always felt bad. Who was the girl, the kind of chubby bubbly girl who had a crush on him? And he was just constantly rejecting her towards the end of the series. Oh my god, I forget her name. But yeah, she's like, curly hair. Yeah, and she was always so nice. And he was just like, yeah, I like Angela. And I think she ended up going to a dance with Ricky instead. And then they danced really well together. Yeah. It was okay. I love the show. I watch it all the time. So there was one other person who watched this show. Now this was a tough call because Thursday nights, most people were watching must see TV at this time. And the Simpsons had started on Thursdays. It was still on Thursdays on Fox. So this was really like the least popular option was my still called Life. And there was one girl in my whole high school that watched it. And it was literally the only girl I ever had a crush on in my entire educational career. And so Fridays were the best because I would talk to her about what happened in my social life in history class, like an awkward fool. And then when the show got canceled, I was like, there goes that. Going out that anymore. So this particular episode is Jordan turns up the heat on Angela to have sex and Graham warms to the idea of going in on a restaurant venture. This is when it started to go downhill because you're like, is Graham going to have an affair with that woman? And they started to focus more on the parents. And that's what I think her at the show a lot. Well, it was created by people who worked on 30-something if you ever watched that show. Which was basically like my so-called life if it was only about the parents and if the parents were very yuppy. But I used to watch it all the time when I was like eight years old for no parents. Which is actually why I started watching my so-called life because I remember I used to have a subscription to Entertainment Weekly when I was 11. And I was like, oh, this is a show done by 30-something people. I think I'm going to watch this and I loved it from the first minute of the show. I loved it and it's a great show. And then so it got canceled. Most people didn't watch it. And then MTV picked it up, which was very unusual. So MTV picked it up around January of that year. Well, my so-called life. And just aired it non-stop. Like they do a fantastic show. Yeah, they do my so-called weekends. I was really sick because it was like, it was so rare for me. And this is how it is now in my life that I would actually latch on to a TV show and tune in every week. Right. And get a real connection with it and follow it. So I was just, I was like, I finally find a show where I can do that and it's gone. I thought that always happens to almost every show that I've ever had. Yeah. For some geeks. That wasn't possible at all over again. Didn't I go through this six years ago? I think both were on ABC. So I was like, hatred for ABC. Yeah. They were unusual shows for ABC. I was surprised that they even made it as far as they did. I also had a huge crush on Julian and Hatfield. And she was on my so-called life, which was huge. She played the homeless ghost teen in the Christmas episode. And the same year she was on The Adventures of Pete and Pete, which was one of my huge shows too. And when I worked at F&X, I got to meet her. And I was just dumbfounded and started being like, oh, my so-called life. And the band Buffalo Tom, who were from Boston and are in an episode of my so-called life. I met them, they were friends of a friend and they had mentioned some show that they had played. And I said, I was going to go to that show, but my friend Tino was supposed to pick me up and he never got there. Which is a my so-called life reference. Not a great one, not the best joke I've ever made. But that's the reference to me. Yeah, exactly. It is you want to pick up. So nine o'clock, what'd you go with? I'd go with anything. So you're just like, you know what? After my so-called life, I'm just turning the TV off and just savoring an hour of not having an on. I think that's fair because the really only thing on was Mad Man of the People. Oh, weirdly. Speaking of The Higgins Boys, on Comedy Central though, there was a one-night stand-up episode featuring the Higgins Boys and Gruber, Dave Gruber Allen, who played Mr. Rosso on Freaks and Geeks, and the Higgins Boys who were on Ellen. I don't even know who the Higgins Boys are. So the Higgins Boys was Dave Higgins and I can't remember his brother's name, but he was the head writer on Fallon and he's the announcer on The Tonight Show now. He wrote for SNL for years. Dave Higgins is the fact I was glasses that was on Ellen and worked in the costume show. Oh, okay. I know, okay. I do know who that is. Yeah. So there are two brothers that used to do stand-up together with their friend, Dave Allen Gruber, who was Mr. Rosso on Freaks and Geeks. Oh. Midwest stand-up comedians. So that would have been worth watching and that's an hour there. So Friday night, the final night of the week, 8 o'clock, what'd you go with? I said family matters, but I would not have watched it in '94. Yeah, I think that would have been embarrassing at this point. Yeah, but I definitely watched it. I think when it first came out when I was in elementary school, I was definitely a huge fan. I love Steve Erkel. I don't think you're alone there. Yeah, I thought that it was the funniest thing I had seen on television. But a little Erkel goes a long way and by this point, it was just the full-on Erkel show. Yeah, I think they had a cousin come on who was just Steve Erkel dressed like a girl. Yeah, once you have a character playing the female version of themselves on a show, that show is no longer good. But when it first came out, when I was in elementary school and it first came out, I really thought that that was just one of the funniest things I had seen to me. My friends would always do the Erkel voice. I don't think you're alone here. There was nothing funnier than that to us. And it just never got old. It never got old somehow. And I feel like I feel like shows after that, whenever there was a nerdy character, I feel like they kind of copied Gillio White and they used that closely nerd voice. Yeah, I think he sucked the template. People don't give him credit for starting that. And now he's the voice of Sonic the Hedgehog. Yeah, with TJ Hazard as the villain on the show. Really? Yeah, he does Dr. Robotnik. I did that. So he's on a show with Gillio White. I would have gone with insult mysteries at this point, which had moved from Wednesdays to Fridays. This was sort of the tail end and insult mysteries. Not the best episode. This is the disappearance of an American sea captain and his crew from a European bound ship found abandoned in the middle of the Atlantic and a viewer tip leading to the reunion of a woman and her birth mother and a woman's career as a police psychic. Weirdly more believable than the episode of Family Matters that night. Also at the same time, just because this is a week of celebrity cameos. I just want to mention that Baywatch. Celebrity cameo by Geraldo Rivera. I'm Baywatch. Baywatch. Geraldo Rivera plays the jealous fiancé of a swimmer rescued by Mitch. Wow. His short-lived acting career of Geraldo Rivera. Well, Lisa gave it a shot. That's true. 8.30 would you go with? I'd go with anything because if I, yeah, the only show that I would have at some point in my life watch would have been Family Matters. It would have been in '94. Right. So you wouldn't have been watching Boy Meets. You probably would have been out and about hanging out with doing my so-called life-esque activities. I think I would have probably been at the mall with my friends. Yeah, that would have been the Friday night activity. And I would do that too sometimes, but I always would make sure I was home by 9 o'clock on Friday night so I could watch the X-Files. See, I was a huge X-Files fan but I didn't jump on that until college. I think that's fair. Great show. I loved it. All of my old time favorites. I don't mean to scare you, but this is a perfect bookend to end the week, this episode of X-Files. The agents get caught in a web of death when they travel to the Pacific Northwest to look into the fate of a group of loggers who've fallen victim to a swarm of deadly prehistoric bees. We started with bees and my girl. We end with bees and X-Files. What a week. Bookended by bees. So Bell Kappa, as you know, TV Guide is not just informative. It's judgmental as well and it cheers and it jeers. So I'd like to read you the cheers and jeers from this week, November 26, 1994, and see if you agree or disagree with these cheers and jeers. So first we have a cheers to PBS comedy specials airing this week. Look who's laughing features six performers who have a physical disability from blindness to muscular dystrophy. Comic Chris Fineska, who has cerebral palsy and refers to himself as crazy legs, told us some comedians say if he didn't have a gimmick he wouldn't be funny. My response is yeah right. I got cerebral palsy at birth so I could one day be a stand-up comic. And they gave it a cheer? That's a cheer for that. Yeah. Would you agree or disagree? Well I would have to see it. I'm not going to judge based on it. So you're going neutral? I'm going to go neutral because I would have to see it. Okay. I'm not going to agree or disagree with someone. Just based on their rig. You don't want to do it second hand. Yeah. Like I would have to see it myself and be like oh they were. That's no cheer for me. Right. I think that's fair. I think that's fair. Another cheers to the aggressive ad campaign by Fox for one of the season's best new shows, the low rated party of five. I liked party of five. I never really watched it. Was it decent? It was in my opinion a great show. Okay. So you would agree with this cheer. Yeah. The professional award show. Finally enough finally our first cheer of the week. Cheers to cable channel America's Talking, which I don't remember that. That was a channel? Apparently. For hiring Mayflower Madam Sydney Biddle Barrows to cover the Heidi Flice prostitution trial. Even though I didn't see that, I'm going to guess that Jear was valid. That seems like a valid Jear. I think that Jear. I will uphold that Jear. We have two more Jears. Jears to ABC News for using a fog machine to illustrate a Halloween story and a staged gathering of witches in Salem, Mass. Yeah, I'm already going to. Yeah, I guess I lied when I said I have to see it for myself. No, I don't think you need to see it. I heard it for myself and that wasn't enough. Yeah, every year in this area you did be the news stories about witches in Salem. And this sounds particularly egregious this one. And finally Jears to TV's new Twilight Zone, the Friday night police dramas. We're referring to homicide and under suspicion two otherwise fine cop shows that seem to be shot through filters so dark that we fear our picture tube or our eyesight is failing. They say this homicides what I can't think of a more old person complaint than homicides too dark to look at. I'm going to just disagree with them for that. Just for that. Yeah. Okay, I think I'm going to uphold that as well. I think we should share that. Well, thank you so much for doing the show. I think we got a lot of good information out here. Yeah, thanks for having me on. You're welcome. And how was your first podcast experience? It was good, but I think I'm never going to do one again. Just so I can like be like, oh, one time I did a podcast. This is going to get two million downloads. What's going on here? This one is the one that you did. But really, I was just like, yeah, totally. I was like, Mike, that seems accurate. I'm going to cheer that. Well, thank you. There you go. That combo, very funny, very smart. She was on Comedy Central Premium Blend at one point. You should see her do stand up if you have the chance. So, or buy some of her art. You will not be disappointed. And as always, you can reach me at TVguidenscounselor@gmail.com at canadaicandread.com, at TVguidens on Twitter, on Facebook. If you have a carrier pigeon, give it a go. I don't know if I'll get it the message, but why not try it? Well, you'd lose the pigeon, probably. You know what, don't try. Email me easier. You should do that. Anyway, make sure you subscribe to the show because you never know when I'm going to have extra episodes in a week. And I don't want you to miss them. And it helps me if people subscribe to the show. Also, please rate and review the show if you like it. It's a great help and I love hearing your feedback. And having other people hear your feedback in a public forum. Anyway, we'll see you again next time for a brand new episode of TVguidenscounselor. Just an actual large container of yogurt drifting through the town. I think I said push it. Nice. It does bother me how rude they are to root off.
