- Wait, you have a TV? - No, I don't like to read the TV guide. Read the TV guide, you don't need a TV guide. ♪ Install this planet ♪ ♪ Install this planet ♪ ♪ Install this planet ♪ (upbeat music) - Hello, I am welcome. It is Wednesday, it is time for a brand new episode of TV Guidance Counselor. My name is Ken Reed, I am your TV Guidance Counselor here to counsel you and give you guidance in the world of television, as long as it's television from at least 15 to 20 years ago. Thank you guys for checking out the show, I assume you're not new to the show, but if you are, the premise once again is I own every single edition of TV Guide, not quite, but let's say that. Someone comes to my home, they pick a random edition of TV Guide, they sit down and pick what they would watch that week, and then we discuss their choices. I do no research, I only have what is in my twisted brain, and then we have a discussion. My guest this week is a really funny guy, a really talented guy, Wes Hazard. He is a local Boston guy, he's a comedian, he is a poet, he does a zine, he runs a great show in Cambridge, Massachusetts at Weirdo Records, with Angela who's the owner of that is really great and she will be on an upcoming episode of TV Guidance Counselor, but he runs all kinds of weird, fun things all over the city and I always appreciate the stuff that he does. He's an interesting guy for sure. One word of warning, I speak quickly, as I've been told, Wes speaks even more quickly and when we talk fast together, it just amps it up and also I had a cold when I was recording this so there's a lot of sniffling. I say that so you won't think that I'm on cocaine, I'm definitely not on cocaine. We're just really fast and I sniffle, but you can probably slow it down with some of your fancy apps or something. But anyway, it's a fun episode and I think you'll enjoy it so please enjoy this week's episode with my guest, Wes Hazard. (upbeat music) - Mr. Wes Hazard, how are you sir? - I'm doing great, thank you so much. - You're welcome, thanks for coming to my home, despite it being too cold. - No, it's beautiful, I love the bathroom, like the nice tiki theme, velvet Elvis, like that all. - I had to fly Wes with an additional hoodie, cold in here, but you did get a Superman one which is that's a high esteem and I also applied him with British cakes and rose flavored soda. That's what you get when you come to my house. So you picked a TV guide from a little bit outside of my comfort zone, 1997. It is the week of June 28th, 1997, and I will mention that is my birthday, June 28th. - Oh wow, okay. - Birthday I share with John Cusack, Gilda Radner, and Mel Brooks. - All I have is British singer, Joss Stone. - Joss Stone, so what is she about six, seven years old? - Yeah, she then, I was, let's see, I would have been 13 and I think she's about two years behind me, so she's, I would have been about 11. - Wow, wow. So this was my 17th birthday, this was not a fun birthday for me. - Oh, sorry to hear that. - That's quite all right. But it was, you know, I did enjoy my birthdays. I do remember this particular year that I got on my birthday, it was one of the few gifts I remember receiving, was the Rhino Records surf box set. - Oh, okay. - It's pretty exciting. - So besides Beach Boys, what's in there? - It's mostly, they're by era, so they're like each decade, so there's a, the fourth disc is called New Waves, and it's already 90s. - You're a punk guy, well you're into like Agent Orange, like, yeah, yeah, that's like one of the few, but like, punk brands are like a really, really injury. - Yeah, we used to cover blood stains. - Ah, yeah frequently, yeah. - But I have a huge surf 60s, 50s music guy as well. - You must have loved Full House, that Beach Boys connection with you. - Yeah, well I'd like the more of the instrumental stuff. - Okay, all right. - The post, Ryan Wilson Beach Boys is online. - So like, Dictail from Quincy Mass. - Really? I only know, Ms. Raloo, obviously Pulp Fiction, one of the most iconic musical films, yeah, so. - There was a pre-Pulp Fiction, this will make me sound like I'm trying to brag them, but I'm really not. - I, for some reason, I have a tendency to get into stuff, not before everybody likes it, but just so far after everybody likes it, it's become before people like it. And so in the early 90s, there was a record store, which isn't there anymore in Central Square, and they specialized in oldies and soul music. So I used to go get some soul 45s and stuff there every so often, but the guy would always ask for surf records, and the guy would just put them aside for me and be like, "I got some of that surf shit." He'd just give it to me, he'd just give it to me. And I got some really rare records. - That's pretty sweet. - And then at some point, Post Pulp Fiction, I sold them back to him for like a pretty good amount of money. - Yeah, anybody who was on that soundtrack probably got really hot back, yeah. - Yeah, I managed to sell for some good money. So this was my birthday. So Saturday night, a Saturday night birthday when you're 17, I mean, can you think of a better thing than that? I will assure you, I was most likely at home watching television this day, so. - Yeah, I'll just shoot at the podcast now. - Yeah, would you go with eight o'clock? - So yeah, again, as I said, we don't have to like talk about it, but I bifurcated my list because my choices were so different. So I looked at everything, what I would watch now, where I just gave me those selections. - Right. - And everything I would have watched at age 13 and 97. - And the difference? - Yeah, almost universes, as long as like two instances where it's the same. - Okay. - Back in '97, I was watching cops. I was going cops. - All right, I'm very impressed. - I would've thought you would've got my family matters at that age, but cops was the best. And this episode, it is a repeat 'cause it's summer, but I distinctly remember this episode in Florida. So right away, we know it's a good one. Alleged drug pushers are targeted in a sting. Juveniles are stopped in a suspected stolen auto. A man is arrested for allegedly making threats against his ex-lover. - Okay, all right. - I mean, that's just a Florida perfection. - I would've been there because I was Saturday nights I spent at my dad's house and then my stepmom was huge in the cops. So I mean, it was really her choice. And I was a fan. I liked cops. - So this was your bonding moment for you and your stepmom. - Watching cops and then I think America's most wanted most often. - Yeah, that was on at nine. - Exactly, exactly. So for '97, I had an episode of cops and followed immediately by cops again at eight. - Yeah, it's a cops sandwich. - Did you ever see anyone you thought you knew on America's most wanted? - No, I never, and I would look to, and I could handle America's most wanted as a kid. Unsolved mysteries used to scare the hell out of you. - You're not alone. I mean, Unsolved mysteries was absolutely terrifying. The alien ones were scary, the ghosts. But the scariest one I ever saw was about a pregnant woman in New Hampshire. I don't know if you remember this one. She was driving on Route 93 North. She pulled into a rest stop. This is at like midnight to get a soda. And this guy came out in a truck and just stabbed her. Just like an 85-time stabbed her, right? And thought she was dead, and then she wasn't. She was driving home and bleeding and realized that she was behind the guy. And he saw her and followed her back to her house. - What? - Never caught him. - They never, so wait, she lived, that's all right. - She's the only victim that lived there was like eight other women that this guy had stabbed in New Hampshire. And it was terrifying anyway, but the fact that it was only up in New Hampshire was really sad. - Everything that you said just happened to me, except up until getting the soda, like 93 North. - So you were pregnant? - That is well, yes. - That's the scariest part. - Yeah, you never get off and go use a soda machine at two in the morning or a rest stop? - No. - Everybody knows that. - Exactly. - There was a guy I used to work with at the TV station. It was an older gentleman, and he told me, never stop at rest stops because, quote, "Guys will try to pickle you." - I didn't know that until there's something about Mary. - That was what taught you that was what taught me that they became like pick up spots. I didn't know that until I watched that movie. - The other really, really terrifying on "Sell of Mysteries" to me was there was this guy. It was again, it was in Massachusetts, and he would go into clothing stores and strip malls, lock the door, and with a gun, would then rape everyone in there. - Wow. - Yeah, never caught that guy either. - He's in the store, like-- - Yeah, he was locked in the middle of the day. - Wow. - That was absolutely terrifying. - It had to have been cow doors on the-- - It wasn't cow there, it would be like hit or miss. - Like a small drag on so many hit or misses by my mom. - Yeah, dots. - Yeah. - Maybe a cherry web, but not a cherry web in terrain. - Fashion bag? - There's fashion bag up here, or is that-- - Oh yeah, we had fashion bag. - Okay, okay. - Yeah. - Where did you think fashion bag was? - 'Cause I just remember, I had memories of seeing signs, but I didn't know if it was in the south, because I had family down in Virginia. - It sounds like a southern thing that does dress barn, but my grandmother used to shop at an old lady store that only sold polyester pantsuits. - That's the only they sold in every single color, and it was called a rainbow fashion. - That was a solid business model for, I don't know, a decade? - This one into the 90s, I mean, I remember for Christmas, we just get our gift card to rainbow fashions, and she'd go buy a new pantsuit for the year. - Fantastic, wow, that's crazy. - That was the cop sandwich. Right now, it would have been Keenan and Kel, followed by Robin Williams' off the wall. That's what I choose today. - So you would have gone with Snick at the time. And now-- - Now, just watch Keenan and Kel. This was Kel ruins Keenan's date. And then Robin Williams-- - Off the wall. - I've never got not seen that special. - This is a rerun of, I believe it's an early 80s HBO special. So Comedy Central was re-airing it. This was, you know, really air in like a lot of Gallagher. - Yeah, yeah. - And that sort of stuff. MTV's "Real World" was not at this time. It was the Florida episode. - Never watched "Real World" like to sit down and watch it, and in fact, it probably seemed like five episodes total. - Really? - It was never my thing, it was never my thing. - Never into the "Real World." - No. - But it was a double feature of "Real World" that you really missed out on. - I did miss two of them when there would be "Real World" versus "Real World" like-- - So you prefer "Real World" to "Real World" despite having not-- - Yeah, exactly. 'Cause I saw like five episodes of "Real World" and probably only two of "Real World" and I tend to look like it better. - I will add to us that you passed up two great movies on it this time. "Croll." - Yep, yep. - The "Reson Sci-Fi" channel. And "Ernisko's the Camp." - "Ernisko's the Camp." - "Ernisko's the Camp." - I love that one. - It's scared, stupid, I have to say. - Scared, stupid is pretty good, but my favorite saves Christmas. - That's a song. I mean, I just-- - It's an underrated Christmas movie. - But there's "Meac" and the whole "Meac" joke, "The Running Gag" and "Ernisko's" stupid just like-- - But "Goz to Camp" is pretty good. - Yeah. - Usher Raymond's in the movie. - Really? - Yes. - I have to go back and watch that. - Yeah, I believe Usher is in the movie. - That's a young Usher. - Oh, very young Usher. - He's a young guy now. - Yeah, I believe it's when he was like just before he was on "Star Search." - All right. - But weirdly, and this seems crazy, TV God's giving "Crawl" two stars and "Ernisko's" to Camp one star. (laughing) That seems crazy to me. - All I really remember about "Crawl," I remember the weapon, obviously. - Yeah, we all wanted the weapon. - And then the Cyclops. - The Cyclops. And then remember, like, yeah, they had to traverse some great distance and they were like, "How can we get there?" He was like, "I forget the name of the beast." And he was like, "Something like, you know, "these things can go that far in three days," or something like that. And it was like, clads, they're horses. - Yeah, this is always a beast. - Yeah. - What's your, did you enjoy the sword and sandal fantasy genre? - The post Conan, the barbarian genre. - See, all I really, I know Conan, I know Red Sonya-- - Okay. - Beastmaster. - I never really, never really watched. - So you're, I think you're a little too young. There was a time when HBO pretty much only ever aired Beastmaster to the point where people used to refer to HBO standing for "Hey Beastmasters." (laughing) And then later, TBS started showing Beastmaster all the time and then they started calling that the Beastmaster station. - Oh, wow. - Yeah. - There was, they made two of those, right? - There was two, yeah. Part two was through the portal of time and then there was a Beastmaster TV series as well with "Kari World." - That, I vaguely, I vaguely. - Yeah, I don't think Mark Singer was in the TV series, though, I think he drew the line there. - I think before I was cognizant, I used to get like mixed up Beastmasters and master, Beastmaster and Master of the universe. Like the-- - I think Beastmasters of the universe would be-- (laughing) - It would be a pretty-- - She didn't know. - I would watch it. So nine o'clock would you go with? - Well, Robin Williams would have been-- - Oh, that's-- - So I went from to 9.30. - To 9.30. - Yeah, so nowadays, you know, nine o'clock in '97, I would have watched early edition, no doubt. - So you enjoyed the weirdly, vaguely religiousness of early edition? - I loved it. You know what, that show? I've only seen about, it only didn't last that long and I've only seen about eight episodes. - Right. - But I, if it was on, I was watching that show. I loved it. - It was for people who thought quantum leap was too fantastical. - I could see, yeah, yeah. You know, that's a good point. Like, it's very, you know, very much a very similar show, but like, your mom can watch it and like, not think of it. - Yeah. - I didn't make it mention it. - I feel like early edition is for people who like quantum leap but don't believe in evolution. (laughing) Like, there's too much science in quantum leap so they want early edition. - Did quantum leap, I didn't really watch too much quantum. Was it the focus on, was back to like doing good? Was that his purpose in these episodes? - Yeah, so it got, so it was pretty vague for the first few seasons. They were like, he's just doing good. We don't know why. - Okay. - The later it got overtly jesusy. - Really? - Yeah, like Satan actually appeared. - Wow. - In a Halloween episode, actually, which was a great episode up until the Satan appearance. And then later it got very jesusy. Like in the last couple seasons. But early edition for people who don't remember early edition, which is probably maybe three or four people. This guy gets a newspaper delivered to his house every day that's tomorrow's newspaper. - Exactly. - And so it'll say something like a house burns down yesterday, which means today, and he has to go. And he had the friend, I forget the name of the actor, who was always trying to use it to get like the lottery pics. Like he's like, "Skeyzy friend." He's like, "Good at heart, but like you're just trying to scan it." - Yeah, as you would. - And then he had like the, you know, they, you don't often see it in TV. It's more of a movie thing, but they had the magical Negro trope of the blind friend, the blind woman, who was like sort of mystical. Like she would give him insight into the whole thing. - Yeah. - And it got really into JFK. Like, I don't know if you will help or you want to, but like it was like a huge arc where he was like, - Yeah. - And there was a guy who used to get the paper like 40 years before. - And he didn't save JFK. - Yeah, that was where they were going to go if it went later. Did you ever see Bubba Hotep? - Yes, I have seen that. - Aussie Davis says JFK. - God, I watched that movie. I watched that movie in the hospital. Doctors sloped it to me. - That's an awkward one. Was it like my prescription to you? It's Bubba Hotep. - Oh, yeah. I mean, I have Crohn's and like I was in the, it was hospitalized a couple times. And I'm my GI doctor, really cool guy. He used to slip me comic books. Like he's the one who introduced me to the whole green arrow, green lantern when they were like-- - 70s stuff? - Yeah, when like they're solving-- - So how old were you at this point? - I was this, I was no earlier than I first went in ever when I was 16. - Okay. - So you're a teenager? - Yeah, I was a teenager, yeah. - So he took on the cooler older brother role. - Exactly, yeah, he looks up in comic books. - Are you doing all right now? - I'm doing all right. - Okay, good news word. - So he would slip you 70s green arrow comics. - Yeah, like which is weird for me to see 'cause like I didn't really have a, I knew green lantern but green arrow is sort of-- - He's the hippie Batman. - Exactly, yeah, he's a very, I loved him in Dark Knight, Return of the Dark Knight, like when he came back he was like, oh yeah, he was awesome in that. - He was great on Justice League Unlimited, which was probably the best. Oh, you've never seen Justice League Unlimited? - What year was it? - Justice League Unlimited was 2002, 2003. - Okay. - It was part of the Bruce Tim Paul, D.C. animated universe. - I'll start with Batman in the animated series, Superman in the animated series, Justice League-- - See, I loved Batman in the animated series and I loved, I never, I liked the Batman Superman, but we still combined them. - Yeah, '96, it was the WB Saturday morning. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was really cool. And then they had like the newer adventures of Batman right where it was like, yeah, yeah. I watched it and then that was like my match. - Oh man, you gotta watch Justice League Unlimited, you really love it. I think Justice League Unlimited is the single best comic book adaptation ever made. - Does that have the black green lantern in it? - Yes. - John Stewart. - I've seen that scene like clips of it. - There is basically four seasons of Justice League. The first two were called Justice League and the second two are Justice League Unlimited. Unlimited, I liked better 'cause it really expands the universe, but the first two were very good as well. And it also improves on stuff that the comics, that like years of continuity mess screwed up. - It's great. - I have written it down, Justice League Unlimited. - You would enjoy it. - Now I lost place where we even-- - I was so early edition. - Early edition, that closed out the night for '97. - Yes. - Nowadays, after watching Robin Williams off the wall, I would go to 930 Hitchcock's Titorious on AMC. - See, that, a good movie. - Solid movie. - Not my favorite Hitchcock movie. - Longest Kiss, or I think it was the head of record for the longest kiss for-- - Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant. - Exactly, yeah. - Isabella Rossellini watching me do comedy once? - Really? - Yeah, speaking of Ingrid Bergman. (laughing) - What setting were venues? - It was an improv Boston, weirdly. - Oh, wow. - Yeah, she was in town when she was doing that green porno. - Ah, the bugs, the things that-- - Yeah, yeah, it was like educational stuff. - Yes, yeah. - And I don't know why she was there, but she was in the crowd-- - I don't really know her from Blue Velvet, and-- - That's a weird thing to know of it. - Yeah, I'm trying to think, what is she like-- - Probably most known for Blue Velvet, but she was in a great movie called The Sadest Music in the World, and-- - I saw that in the movie theater. - That was great. - It's really fucked up. - I think I actually owned that with the beer field leg. Yeah, that was her, yeah, yeah. - Really good movie. - Guy Man, I have not watched anything else by him, but I love that movie. - Yeah, that's good stuff. You made good choices here. You did miss out on "Coblam" though, a 9.30, which was one of the best late period SNCC shows. - I don't even remember that one. - "Coblam" was almost like Nickelodeon's version of Liquid Television, if you ever used to watch that on MTV. - Also over my head. - Liquid Television was MTV at its height were in most experimental, and so what they would do is basically either commission or buy experimental student films and animated, mostly animated stuff. So "Aeon Flux" started on liquid television, on beefies and buttheads started on liquid television, the max, the head, and that kind of stuff. - Wow. - It was all started on liquid television. So it was a lot of like ongoing weird things. There was also a live action segment called "Dog Boy" that was based on Charles Burns comic books, and I'm huge Charles Burns fan. - I don't, I'm not familiar with that. - Charles Burns wrote a great comic called "Black Hole." That's about kids in the '70s that get a sexually transmitted disease that makes them mutate. - And are these like powers mutations? - No, no, it's like growing a tail in the coaches. But it's really, really good. It's a really weird comic. - That was "Black Hole." - "Black Hole," by Charles Burns. Charles Burns has done some really cool stuff over the years. You'd recognize his art. He's done a lot of like a record covers and posters and stuff, but that was liquid television. So "Kablam" was almost like a younger version of that. So it was a lot of like weird experimental cartoons and shorts. There was one called, I think it's called "Super Action Force" that was almost like a precursor to "Robot Chicken." - Oh wow, okay. - It was a pretty cool, weird show. - What you, like we were talking about MTV's "Oddville" a while back, which show, I saw one episode on YouTube and I was like immediately regretted not watching "Oddville" - "Oddville" was 97. "Oddville" was just for a year. It was a summer series in '97. It was actually, believe it or not, started this week in 1997. And for 10 years it was a cable access show in New York City. - Yeah, it's right. - And then it went on to MTV for a summer. They, MTV picked up two shows from cable access. One of them was "Oddville" and one of them was "Squirt TV," which was Jake Foglenest. - Oh wow. - He had a New York cable access show and MTV actually picked it up as a Saturday night show. He would have Sonic Youth in his bedroom. - Wow. - Let's just Jackson, I was very jealous of him. - Sunday night. - Sunday night. - I think we've nailed Saturday. - Yeah, yeah. - Sunday night, "The Lord's Night," they're already edition night. What do you go with at eight o'clock? - I mean, who's not watching "Simmons" at eight o'clock? - That's true. - This was about the year that I kind of started to check out of "The Simpsons." Again, this is sort of why this isn't my comfort zone. This was the few years that I was somewhat social. This is when I was in like the height of being in a punk rock band. I was at the rat or the Middle East or in New Yorker and Philly, like every single week. - Wait, so you were in a band? - I was in a band, yeah. - You played what? - I sang. - You sang if you can call it that. - And we, I mean, we played like two or three nights a week and I was also out watching music. - When you were 17? - Yeah, we started when we were 15. - And your parents, like, you see, they didn't care. That's really interesting because you say you're checking out "Simmons." I was just, I think, in my second year of being allowed to watch "Simmons." I was not allowed to watch "Simmons." - Oh, your parents were very strict about what you could watch. - Well, it's like, they weren't, like, my mom was like, so it's like, grew up, it was like, mom was during the week, so pretty much Sunday through Saturday morning. And then dad, I go to his house on Saturday morning and, you know, stay over, and watch, stay over Saturday. - Right, so neither parent was like, I'm the cool one, you can do whatever you want. - Yeah, more so dad, just because it was like what, after you pass out, whatever you want it, you know, but for mom, like, she was, she was overall fairly liberal. - Right. - Like was very, the two biggest banishments were no Simpsons and no married with children until I was probably like 13, 14, like-- - She let you watch it eventually. - Yeah, yeah, eventually. - So she had thought it was too-- - For a younger kid. - Yeah, like, yeah. I think she got wind of Bart Simpson, like, talking back and like-- - Okay. - She was very anti-talking back. - Right, right, right. - I'm like, I'm gonna let you have a long leash, but when I say go, so-- - I'm in charge. - Exactly, so-- - And I don't want the subversive-- - Exactly. - So I think she saw that Bart Simpson mouthed off to his parents, and that was a no-no. And then married with children, I think she just, anything was like a middle-aged white man being sloppily, she hate she loaves-- - She hates poor people. - How it's starting, like, I was going to-- - Okay. - It's starting like-- - It's just like electricity. - Yeah, exactly. So that's literally-- - Lusitating, lusitating. - Lusitating white men are not her-- - Exactly, so she was very, very against married with children longer than Simpson. I couldn't watch that for longer than I couldn't. - Right, right. I think that's fair. I think that's probably good parenting. My parents had no rules, and I mentioned this before, but there's only one show I wasn't allowed to watch, and it was 2020, because it really freaked me out, and I was nervous, wreck about everything. - Wow, okay. - I used to have panic attacks about ATMs and medical waste on the beaches. - It's like the me and unsolved mysteries, and also, rescue 911. I was scared to do this. - Oh, yeah, absolutely. - To be afraid of that. - Yeah, although I found rescue 911 more hilarious, because the Shatner and the reenactments were always fun. - See, I wasn't even into cognizant of, like, Star Trek and stuff like that, so I wasn't even-- - Oh, I never liked Star Trek. I just liked Shatner. - Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that later. I can't believe you don't like Star Trek. - Oh, I know. A lot of people can't believe it. It's very shocking to people. So you went with the Simpsons, and as I said, yeah, I would say to my parents, like, I'm going to Philly for the weekend, and they'd be like, whatever. We would drive down, so after school on a Friday, we'd drive down to New York for like four hours. - Wow. - Play a show, drive to Philly, play a show, and then just drive home Saturday night. - I snuck down to New York in between, after my freshman year of college to go protest the RNC, and I told my mom I was staying over a friend's house. I was already in college, and that's how different our childhoods were again. - Yeah, that's very, very, very weird. I never liked going to New York. We went to Philly a lot in New Jersey. We played at a weird abandoned amusement park in Northern New Jersey. - That's you. That was the summer. - Biggest venue for Henry, abandoned amusement park. - Abandoned amusement park, yeah. It was this summer, and that was the show where I familiar with the band Dashboard Confessional. - Yes. - I got into an argument with that dude. - Really? - He was in a different band called Further Seems Forever before that, and he was being a real dickhead, and I said to him, "Hey, I noticed that you're very short." And then he said, "Yeah." And I went, "That's it." And then he shut up. - Wow. Did you shut him? Yeah, I learned the words of screaming infidelities. Many, many years later, bad breakup. - Yeah, I know. I think that song might be about me. I was not a fan of that, gentlemen, if what I did have words. I was also, at this point out, my probably angrists, and I was the biggest dickhead. - What were your lyrics about? Were you the main lyricists for the group? Are you the singer? - No, everyone kind of wrote. They were stuff you write in English class when you're 15. - Nothing. - Not a great lyricist. - Not a great lyricist, I will say that. It was not a clever lyricist at all. Also, I think our music was probably more fun for us to play than to listen to, like jazz. - There's no tune up playing, right? - And I was listening to more prints and stuff like that at the time. - Hey, but she'd been at that show? - Yeah. - You watched Simpsons at 830. This is after a hurricane destroys the Flanders House, the citizenry rebuilds it, but Ned criticizes their work and the guilt from his outburst sends him to a mental hospital. We all remember this one. - I actually, I really not bringing a bill right now. - Really? - I have to say, I saw the description in there. I was like, I can't even think of it like a gag out of that. - Very Ned Heavy Show. I probably would have watched Simpsons since I've been home, but I also probably would have flipped with Road Rules, which I did watch frequently. I will also. - So in the verses of the real world, you were a real good guy. - I like the first two seasons of Road Rules quite a bit, because it was more like the old real world. So the first three seasons of real world were actually pretty interesting and innovative. And again, Chuck Klosterman has a really great essay about that, where he says around season three, it became apparent that the people on the real world realized that they were on a TV show. - Because reality TV started to become exactly, and they started to not act like regular people, but they started to act like what would get them time, like off the camera. - And I also think they started casting towards it, so they started casting people who would be like, "Who's gonna have sex with each other or fight each other?" And that's all the show became. But you had, if you watched the first three seasons, or really the first four seasons, like I'm probably to like the Boston season, it started to happen. - That was season four? - Yeah, when New York, LA, San Francisco, London, Boston. - I had to watch the Boston one, to see if I recognized any of the-- - The Boston one's interesting. So they shot it in the old firehouse in Beacon Hill that was actually used and expensive for hire as well. The Boston one was one of the first ones where they had to like work in a place, and they worked in a children's after school program, and he's Boston. There was still some like social issues that they dealt with, but then it just became like, let's get a bunch of whores and a bunch of dudes, and then they're kind of-- - That's funny, like you know that every kid that they work with, that's like their go-to story at a party, like-- - Oh, yeah. - And they're probably, yeah, like you know, between our two ages, those kids are probably around now. But the London one was great, and the New York one was really interesting, and they had like, the people were at all different ages and different backgrounds, and it was kind of an interesting show. But Road Rules, the first two seasons sort of were more like the original world. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And then it got a little bit silly. So I probably would have gone with that. 8.30, what'd you go with? - King of the Hill, stand on Fox. - Really? Now, King of the Hill's a show that I watched at the time if nothing else was on, and I enjoyed it, but didn't watch a lot of it. And now, whenever I watch it, I really love it. I don't go out of my way to seek it, even though I think I have all the seasons of TV, but it's always, you know, if it's on Cartoon Network or something, I'll definitely watch it. - Its strength was the characters, because each of Hank's friends and his son, and they were all like very specific people. Like, yeah, I loved how well-drawn they were. I wasn't thinking on that level when I was watching it, but like in retrospect. Like, yeah, just like Boom Hour, Bill, like Bobby-- - Much less cartoonish than married with children. - Very true, very true, yeah. But I would've gone with news radio, absolutely. - That is a show that I'd never watched at all in its first run, but when it came on-- - That's a vacation. - Yeah, it was there in a lot. - Yeah, yeah, I used to, I think I used to watch it on, that's not, I can't remember. - Fox. - You get Fox, I think, at it. - What a great show. - I loved it. - Totally underrated '90s sitcom. That in Spin City, I think, were probably, don't get enough love in the '90s. Spin City, mad about you, and news radio, I think, were three of the best sitcoms with the '90s. - I had never watched a single episode of Spin City, or Mad About You. I love news radio watching it in syndication. - Yeah, this'll be sacrilege, but I really think that news radio, Spin City, and Mad About You are funnier shows than Seinfeld. And I think they hold up more, I think that they don't seem as dated. - Not sacrilege, honestly, no one ever believes me when I tell them, like, I respect it, I know how important it was. - Yeah. - I have seen grand total, maybe eight episodes of Seinfeld ever. - Yeah. - And like, I enjoy it when it comes on now, and I catch a little bit of, like, yeah, this is very funny, but-- - You should check out Spin City. - Spin City? - Like, Wes is running down a huge list. - Yeah, I like-- - But, Spin City was funny, and I really, really like Mad About You. It's very good show. - Three and a half blocks from home, Paul Reiser's stand-up special I have on VHS. - Paul Reiser was a great stand-up. He's weirdly sort of a punchline for people. - Now he's really funny talented. - All the movies he was in, I enjoyed. - Who's in Diner? Was he in Diner? - Was he in Diner was the first movie he was in, but he's an aliens? He's the real asshole from the corporate show. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, I mean, he's been on a ton of stuff, and he's always-- - He's got, like, Eric Bogasian, like, eyes, like, that, like, really intense-- - Paul Bogasian. - Yeah, from Uber and Mass, Eric Bogasian. - Really? - Yes, yes. - Farmini and Descent, Eric Bogasian. - Uber and Zone, Eric Bogasian. So, 840, I will mention that Peewee's Big Adventure was on the Disney Channel. - That's-- - I'll watch that anytime, that's on. - It's that dark, so yeah, it's as big-top as the circus one. - Big-top Peewee's the second one. - Yeah, okay, yeah, and which I've seen more, but, like, less than-- - You've seen Big-top Peewee more than Big Adventure? - For some reason, I think my mom was one of the few-- we never bought movies at all, like, my mom is against buying movies, 'cause she's right, I hear logic is, I'm never gonna watch this movie right here. So, I think, though, that was one of the few, one of the very few we had on-- - Big-top Peewee. - Yeah, exactly, yeah, so-- - I was so disappointed with Big-top Peewee, 'cause I was the world's biggest Big-Adventure fan. - Really, yeah, and Big-top Peewee. - I like the palm-sized girl, like, I remember that. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. - I remember there being a really long line for a bathroom. - Yes. - It's been a while, though, since I've seen it like, yeah. - Yeah, I have a lot of memorabilia from that movie. - From the second one? - Yeah. - Oh, wow. - It was easier to get very cheaply. So, nine o'clock, what'd you go with? - Nine o'clock, this was only because, and, by the way, so this is one of the few instances where my '97 and my current lined up, at nine o'clock, now, definitely Fargo on TMZ. - Absolutely, okay. - Without doubt. - Okay. - Watching Fargo, I love that film, but nine p.m. then, it was sort of a, I would've not thought to watch Fargo then, but it would have to be unhappily ever after, which I didn't love. - Really? - I didn't love, I-- - You surprised me. - Mainly because I was a placeholder for Wayne's brothers at nine 30, like, I'm just waiting for Wayne's brothers to come on, there's nothing else I'm interested in, I'll go with unhappily ever after. - Right, so in this one, Ryan, played by Kevin Connolly, suspected of drug use when White Powder turns up in his car after a date, but it's only deodorant from an attempt to mask his real problem, perspiration. - I always feel like married, unhappily ever after, was like a real married with children, kind of rip off. - Yeah, yeah. - But you passed up, I really thought you would be an ex-files guy. - I never, you know what, I didn't get into ex-files until the movie, I was president of the sci-fi. - This is when the first movie came out, '97. - Yeah, like, we watched it late, so the movie would have had to come on on VHS. - Okay. - Like, my faculty advisor at sci-fi club, we'd watch it, and I loved the movie. - So you backtracked after it. - Exactly, and like, I still haven't, I've not ever sat down and made a point to try and watch all the ex-files, but I mean, that, the movie really got me into it, and like, I'll watch anything. - Yeah, it's a great, it's a good movie, and this one is a great episode with Giovanni Robishi and Jack Black in it. - Really? - It's lightning appears to have caused five deaths in a small town, but the agent's suspicious of a sixth victim who survives, it's a repeat, so normally I would have watched ex-files at this time, but I'm very, very tempted by a movie on NBC that night, made for TV movie, called Children of the Dark, and it's a docu-drama in which two preschoolers are afflicted with a rare disease that makes exposure to sunlight fatal, and subjects them and their parents, played by Peter Horton and Tracy Pollan, Tracy Pollan married to Michael J. Fox, and Peter Horton was on 30-something, and he was also in the original Children of the Corn, two intolerance based on fear. So it sounds a little bit heavy-handed, but I would be intrigued to watch it. - Photo, photo-allergy, like yeah. - Yeah, so I probably would have gone with that. - Children of the Corn, that was a movie, like yeah, anything went with my dad on the weekends, and I watched that early, terrifying, yeah. - Dude who walks behind the rose. - Malachi. - Oblender! - Yeah. - We have a woman! - I think I've seen that one, and I've seen Children of the Corn four, and that's all I can do. - Deadly Harvest, they were playing games in music. - Ladies for Biddin', that's one of my few impressions that I do of Courtney Gaines as Malachi. - Nice. - Children of the Corn, Linda Hamilton, one of her first roles. - She's in that? - Yeah, wow. - Yeah. And they have the gift of sight, Malachi. That kid who plays Isaac was in these fruit roll-ups commercials at the time, and he played a leprechaun in an episode of Kids Incorporated, and it is bone-chilling. - Wait, the Kids Incorporated episode? - Yes. - Oh, wow. - 'Cause I was a huge Kids Incorporated fan. I don't know if you watched the show. - I never watched it. - At the same time, it was the same year as Children of the Corn, actually, which my parents took me to see in the theater. - Nice. - When I was four years old, I saw that Kids Incorporated episode where Isaac was playing a leprechaun, so I was really scared shitless. - So, okay, so you were scared because you had the association with Children of the Corn. - And he's just a creepy dude. - All right, yeah, okay. I didn't know if you were saying his portrayal of the leprechaun was particularly frightening. - It wasn't intended to be frightened by what it really is. - You know, a lot of movie that a lot of people did not find frightening at all. I saw you leprechaun, the leprechaun. - I'm Jennifer Aniston, yeah, early role on a home video, and to this day, a little bit scared. - Really? - Yeah, I was scared of War Davis. - Basically, that will, yeah. - Monday night, saddest night of the week. - Yeah. - Eight o'clock. - In the house, LL Cool J show for sure. - LL Cool J is in the house. Did you watch this frequently? - I watched most weeks. Like, it wasn't, I wasn't like, it was like that. And like the weird body of comedies around that time. - The VPN shows. - Yeah, exactly, exactly. So, I would have watched in the house, don't barely remember the show. Remember he was like a nanny, but he was always like, he was always talking about a physique. I think he had been a football or a basketball star. - I believe, I haven't seen a lot of it. So this does, I forgot that John Amos was on this show from Good Times. - Really? - Oh, really? - You know, Fonza Ribeiro was also on it. - On this episode. - Really? - Yeah, I guess. - Wow. - Marion weighs and offers to endorse orthopedic shoes for seniors while on his annual spiritual retreat. - Sounds kind of boring. There's my only member in the house. In 1998 or '99, I got an internship at our local NBC affiliate, which later switched to a CBS affiliate. They had bought the UPN station here in Boston TV 38. And so they were firing everybody. And me and this other guy had to go clear people's offices out while they were being fired, right? - Oh, wow. - And so we won't-- - So they get the meeting and they come up and stuff's already a box? - We're like taking things off their walls and everything. And so it was, I feel awful about it. But I remember taking this giant framed in the house posted off this guy's wall and then I took it home because I don't wanna throw it out. And I felt really bad about it. And I actually kept it for like 10 years. And then when I moved to this house, I did a show at the Comedy Studio where I gave away a bunch of things that I had. And I gave away this giant framed in the house poster to some person in the audience. - What I remember most about that show is it was right around the time of LL Cool J's like second comeback. And so they-- - Don't call it a comeback. - Exactly, that was the first one. And then he had a lull, he was doing mostly acting. And they-- - You did the unplugged? - Did he did it, what? - Yeah, he did an MTV unplugged. - What? - Oh yeah, you never seen that? - The only hip-hop unplugged I've seen it, JZ's. I didn't even know-- - Oh, you gotta see the LL Cool J unplugged. He had an unplugged version of "Mama Said Knock You Out" that was a minor hit. But the thing that most people remembered was he did it shirtless, and he has the most caked-on deodorant I've ever seen in my life 'cause he's got his arm going up. And it just is this like white brick under his arm. - I think that you thought, like, hey, I'm gonna be having my shirt off for the next hour, I should probably-- - Let's go without the deodorant. They can't smell me on TV, but they can see caked-on deodorant. - That's all right, cool. - It might just be my memory, but I remember people talking about it. - Yeah, I just remember they preempted like five minutes on one episode to debut his newest video, and I remember watching that. - What video was it? - It was the single before doing it well. 'Cause like-- - Doing it. - Great song, I love that song, which samples "My Jamaican Guide" by Grace Jones, which is a random random association, but the single before that, much less sexual, I forget, it was huge, it was a huge song, I remember it in a second of my song. - Have you ever seen "Pewee Herman's Christmas Special?" - No. - "Grace Jones" is in it and sings "Little Drummer Boy." - Wow. - Yeah, I think you'd like it. - I all remember the only like weird "Pewee Herman's" at Lawrence Frispern. I did not find that-- - Yeah, it's cowboy Curtis. - I didn't know that until years and years later. - Good old Larry Frispern. - Yeah, Larry Frispern. - So we're eight o'clock, you're going in the house. I'm going mad about you. This is a great episode. Although they believe their marriage is fine now, Jamie and Paul keep an appointment with a therapist played by Mo Gaffney and find all's not as well as they thought. - Well, nowadays I would have just taken out the entire block eight to 10 "Broken Arrow" HBO. - Really, you like that movie? - He shoots down a helicopter with a 357 Magnum. That's pretty impressive. - Didn't John Wu direct "Broken Arrow"? - Was that him? - I could-- - I feel like it was one of these amazing Americans when he came like-- - Yeah, the first movie he did was hard target here. - It would make sense because he did face off. - Face off, which had your vultors as well. - I feel like he did "Broken Arrow." You know what? Let's look it up in the handy dandy TV guide. Back here, we have "Broken Arrow." Doesn't feel the need to list the director. It gives it three stars, strong language violence, thriller about an Air Force pilot who's planned to blackmail the government with stolen nuclear warheads, takes a nosedive when his partner tries to stop him. Samantha Mathis, who I loved and pump up the volume. Did you ever see that? - No, that's another Christian Slater. - You've never seen "Pump up the volume"? - I've never seen it. - Oh, man, you gotta see "Pump up the volume." - It's Christian Slater, he has like a private radio station. - Pirate radio station, "Pump up the volume" is great. Every year instead of the Super Bowl, I watch "Pump up the volume." - Really? - Yeah, since 1991, I watched-- - Any particular research on that? - I don't know. I think I just, I went to the movies during the Super Bowl or something, and saw it, and now that's like my yearly tradition is I watch "Pump up the volume" instead of watching the Super Bowl. - We have the DVD, so I work, I'm surrounded by DVDs all the time. I work in the media section of a library. - So here's the thing, not to interrupt you, but you're surrounded by DVDs all the time 'cause you work in the media section of a library. I'm surrounded by DVDs all the time because I have a mental illness. - Yeah, it's the most beneficial mental illness of all time, man. - Yeah, that's true, that's true. - Yeah, no, definitely. Once again, you're home, amazing. - Oh, thank you, come here. - Do you have "Pump up the volume" at your job? - I ordered it because they give me, every year, they used to give me a budget and get what I want. I saw that, and that looks like we should have it. - It's a great movie. It's really good, the soundtrack's fantastic. It has "Bad Brains" fronted by Henry Rollins covering the MC5. - That's so many degrees of, wow, okay. - My favorite "Bad Brains" song, and the only one I, I mean, I have Bandin DC, but I love, like that, that raguish track. - You like the raguish stuff? - Yeah, it was just like, that was amazing. - I like their version of "She's a Rainbow," that's-- - Oh, really? - Is that on the first one, isn't it? - No, it's actually one of my two favorite "Bad Brains" records are the two live records. - Really? - "Youthur Getting Restless" is one of the best records ever. Amazing. - "Youthur Getting Restless" - The "Youthur Getting Restless," it's by far the best "Bad Brains" record, it's a live record, and it's a good overview of their earlier stuff, and then the more, like, quickness, eye against eye, medley stuff, but there's a version of "The Rolling Stone," "She's a Rainbow" that they do a reggae version of on that. That's amazing. - Oh, that was, that was, I wanted to ask you earlier, because I thought that you'd mention hearing relative's, the, what was the movie where it's basically cops, and he's like a cop, and like-- - With Chase. - Yeah, I used to, I watched that movie so many times, like-- - Christy Swanson was a big star for a moment, and Charlie Sheen. - Yeah, exactly, and who was her dad, like the really powerful dude? - I just remember, there's a shot. - I don't remember who played her dad. - I remember Flea played "100 Orleans" as partner. - Flea wasn't a lot of, he was in point, he was in point break, right, like for-- - Yep. - Yeah, he got shot in the foot, or a key to it. - The first movie he was in is "Suburbia," directed by Penelope Spheris. - You never saw it. - 1983, Roger Korman produced it. - Okay. - It's like a punk, punk exploitation movie. - Worth while? - Yeah, this guy weighed that we used to know who was in a band called "The US Bombs," who were actually the house band on premium blend, the Comedy Central standup show. They were the punk rock band. - Oh, wow. - He's in the movie as a character in it, and he played bass, I think, in "The US Bombs," but he was Flea's roommate growing up at the time, so they're both in that movie. It's, if you like early '80s, L.A. punk rock, and it's kind of a good representation of that era, but-- - "Suburbia." - "Suburbia," yes. - Not the, not the Erk Bogosi in "Suburbia," which I think Richard Linklater directed. - Yeah, it was like, slag her on a rubishi. - Yeah, it was like slag her, "Suburbia," and then he had, like, his run of '90s movies was like really, really subtle, like yeah. All right, good, good to know. - It's a big list here. - So that was like, so yeah, '97, in the house, and then it was just a dead zone for me. - You didn't go and fire it up? - 8.30, I actually, '97, based on the most things there, I would have been forced, forced, to watch "World's Strongest Man" on ESPN, too. - "World's Strongest Man" competition were the absolute best, though. - Forced, those were just, they had guys, they would have to run with their refrigerator on their back. - I remember a guy, they had a harness, and you pulled, like, a semi-truck in neutral. - Yeah, you know. - And I was like, "Oh my God, that's, yeah." - They had a thing called a girly squat, and you had this clear platform, and they would just keep putting women in high heels on top of it, and you had to squat them. - Oh, wow. - You could squat the most girls. And my favorite quote from that show, they interviewed this guy who looked like a crew magnum man. He was Scottish, he had no neck. His head just went into his chest. And they go, "How do you think you're gonna do today?" And he goes, "I'm probably the strongest." You know what? "I'm the strongest man who ever lived." And then he just got, there's like a pause, and then he goes, "Rah!" Like, just does this huge scream. Like, he couldn't contain it. - Wow. - Yeah, those were great. They were throwing tires. I mean, those were the best thing ESPN ever aired. - They were, yeah. I remember, there was like a whole era of that. Like, they really got on board with it. - Oh, yeah, absolutely. It was great filler. I think that's a good call, but I would have watched on Fox, very short-lived talk show by Ruby Wax, who is from Chicago, but moved to England in the '80s and became a huge stand-up comedian star over there. And it's still a big star over there. She actually played at Oberon here in Cambridge recently. - I remember saying that. - She's massive, and massive. And they would constantly try to get her to have shows over here, and it would never work. But this particular show, she has Bert Reynolds, Juliana Margolese, who I love. - Melda Marcos are the guests, and Ruby Wax visits to Museum in Chappell on Reynolds, Florida Ranch and takes Margolese bowling. - Wow. - I would love to watch when you relax, Juliana Margolese going bowling. - You haven't seen that episode? - No, it was very, it was just a summer replacement series, and it's really hard to get. I haven't been able to get it in my trade. - Okay, okay. - I would love to see that. I love Juliana Margolese. She's fantastic. - How do you get most of your crazy TV? The stuff that's not released on DVD is mostly downloads that people haven't been-- - No, I see. I don't know how to download stuff. I've never done that. What I do is I've been trading tapes with people for years. So people who tape stuff off TV themselves will convert it, and then I'll trade them for stuff I taped off TV, and I've been doing that for 20 years. - Did you get into the whole faces of death thing back in the day that came out? - No, no, I never liked that stuff, but I wouldn't trade that stuff occasionally because I had access to it, and I could get two or three things for me. - High value rare tapes. - Yeah, like the Artbud Dwyer and all that kind of stuff. I never really liked watching it, but I used to get good stuff for it, so I would trade for that stuff. I'm not proud of it. Yeah, so a lot of that, and then a lot of buying boxes of VHS and beta tapes on eBay on Craigslist and at flea markets, and just going through them and trying to find-- - Did you get a lot of personal home video types stuff? - Sometimes, I have noticed that there's always at least one pornographic tape, and literally, there's two constants that I've learned in my life. One is, if you get a box of tapes, and one of them says PBS shows, it's pornography, that's number one. They're always labeled PBS shows. - Like, what's the opposite of the point? Like, yeah, so-- - Yeah, so no one's gonna wanna watch this. And the other thing is, everyone that didn't get TV Guide, but got the TV week out of the newspaper, had a toaster oven. I've never once found anyone to disprove this. - Wow, we had a toaster oven and you didn't-- - You didn't buy TV, you got the TV week, right? I don't know why those two things are intentionally linked, but I've never been proven incorrect on that theory. That's impressive, that's impressive. See, I think, yeah, I remember, we had TV week, but then I discovered we had cable, my mom had cable, and we, that guide thing-- - The TV Guide channel. - That was built in, but this is like, now it's advanced. Like, you can get synopsis of it. - You just have to wait while it's gone. - This was just a scrolling list of titles. No descriptions, just titles. - The worst was, if there was something you wanted to watch that was towards the end of the scroll, by the time it got there, you were 15 minutes into the show, and there was no point to watching it at that point. So, where were we? - Monday night, nine o'clock, as I said, I would have watched Ruby Wax, what would you have done with it, nine? - So, Strongest Man, 830, that's one hour, and then 930, I wrote down, bewitched, but, married with children, if mom was occupied. - Okay. - If I can sneak married with children, I would have watched that, but otherwise bewitched. - Now, was your mom a bewitched fan? - Not at all, but I, a lot of Nick at night, like, here's Nick at night, yeah, so, I knew the show was like, you know, basically, during the school year, whenever I could Nick at night a lot of times, and then during the summer, that's where I got my TV education, was it? Summer days, I just stay home, so it's just like, a lot of Laverne and Shirley, happy days, all in the family, that type of stuff. - Yeah, which kids don't do now, they don't watch this game as bad as five years old. Sort of is, there's me TV, there's this, there's our TV in certain markets, I mean, they could watch it on Netflix or Hulu, but they'd have to look for it. - I was, the, I would go ahead and say, the biggest seven, or at least top 100, seventh grade, all in the family fans, on the planet like-- - Oh, great show, yeah, yeah. - I met Norman Lear, he didn't like all the shit. - Oh yeah, he did, I met Norman Lear at the Aspen Comedy Festival in 2006, and I remember I said, I'm sorry to bother you, and anyway, you already have, and then I got my picture taken with him. Maybe I'll post that in the, on the tumbler for this episode, we'll take a look at me in Norman Lear. Now, were you more of a bitch fan or an I Dream Magini? I found people at one or the other. - I preferred I Dream Magini, but-- - Really? - I could, I had such a, to this day, it burns me up, and I think the evil guy, the guy who's always trying to catch, catch you like, you know, the genie in the act, like, you know, the nemesis on, on I Dream Magini, I hated him so much. - You should, with a, like, I wanted, I had thoughts of like, how would I murder this dude? Like, it was like that little-- - So you were protective of genie? - Yeah, and the whole secret, like, it's just like, I really love, although his friend, his best friend, was like, he was awesome. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. - He was your Nelson best buddy, who was Bob Newhart, best buddy on The Bob Newhart Show. - Which one? - The Bob Newhart. - Okay, okay, 'cause I never, I never watched either one of them, but-- - Oh, you got to watch Newhart, man. - There was a retrospective, and then I remember they were telling him about, and the TV's shocking moments or something like that, and they talked about the dream sequence of that. - Oh, the final episode of Newhart. - Yeah, and it was like, oh, I did not know that. - Yeah, amazing. - Well, the lad, do you want to get a life at all? - Uh-huh. - Preseliate show? - No, I did not know. I won't get into it then, but you enjoy that. - Well, a lot of the writing staff for Get a Life, which was a very surreal, weird show, started on the last couple of seasons of Newhart. So, Newhart was a great show the whole time, but the last few seasons got really weird. And people that like Get a Life, I think are doing themselves a disservice by not checking out the final few seasons of Newhart. - So, the first one is Bob Newhart Show. - The Bob Newhart Show was the first one. That's where he plays a psychiatrist. - Okay. - He's married to Suzanne Plashette. The second one in the 80s was just called Newhart, where he plays a guy named Dick Loudon, who's a New Yorker who moves to Vermont and owns a bed and breakfast. - Okay, okay. - Then he had a show called Bob in '94, where he played a comic book artist. - Oh, wow. - And then he had a show called George and Leo. - I'd have to do that. - Just listen to his, but not mine. - But not mine. - It's great. - Yeah, a couple of months ago, wasn't it? - Yeah, it's great. He's one of my favorite comics. And what he was doing was so weird and like sort of ulti for lack of a better word at the time. - You couldn't, I mean, could you do that now? And like no announcement, like just walk out on stage and like launch into the phone conversation. You think an audience would accept that? - Yeah, I think that's, this will sound weird, but not that dissimilar to stuff like Reggie Watts does. I mean, it's almost a similar way to just get into stuff. - If you're in an alt room, people are expecting to get unexpected than they are. - Well, the weird thing about Bob Newhart is he didn't start as a stand-up. He put out that record first before he ever played live. - Yeah, was he like an ad man? - Yeah, yeah, and he recorded that and it was the number one selling album that people were like, "Do you need to play some clubs?" And he's like, "Well, I don't know." And then became a live ad. - They talk about it in Mad Men. Like, you know, like liking, I think Mort Saul and Bob Newhart are both mentioned like the first thing. - Yeah, it's almost like someone who becomes famous for doing YouTube videos and then all of a sudden has to put together a stand-up ads. - Yeah, yeah. - To capitalize on it, except, you know, Bob Newhart, so it's entertaining. So at nine o'clock, I would have gotten a sibble. Absolutely would have gotten a sibble, loved sibble, huge fan of sibble. - You never watched. - Great show. I love sibble shepherd. Dee Dee Pfeiffer was on it. Alicia Whit, great cast, sibble. But at this time, Buffy the Vampire Slayer had also started. This is the first year Buffy the Vampire Slayer, a show which I wanted to really like. I actually loved the movie. - That's, I loved the movie. It watched it many, many times. Pee with Herman also. - Yes, it was because I never had not seen a single episode of the TV show. I watched the first four or five episodes of the TV show and couldn't get into it, and then didn't revisit it till later. And I've purchased the entire series, but haven't watched it. - I have friends, mostly, mostly female friends who live and die by it. Like they love it, they made me want to watch it. I do want to do it. - Oh, I'm sure I'd like it, but I just, I haven't got to it. And then at nine 30, I definitely would have watched Murphy Brown, which is the final year of Murphy Brown. I still enjoyed that show and would have watched it. - Also never watched. - Wow, you didn't watch much? - I'm not, this was like my TV peak, like. - You still didn't watch much. - Exactly, exactly. - So Tuesday night, eight o'clock, what do you go with? - Eight o'clock on Tuesday, Secret World of Alex Mack. - All right, so you go with Nickelodeon, did you have a crush on, what was her name? - Elica, it was a weird-- - Oh, yeah, it was a-- - She was in 10 things I hate about it. - Yeah, she was the younger sister. Love that show. She had a black, best friend. You know, it was very easy. - Don't we all? - Yeah, exactly, yeah, zone in, I could be that guy, and like, you know, so-- - Also, that's why I knew it. - Secret World of Alex Mack, definitely. - I think we all had a thing for Alex Mack at the time. - Oh, yeah, she was great. - I would have gone with probably either Matt about you or Roseanne. This was the final season of Roseanne where they were rich and was pretty terrible-- - What, they got rich? - Yeah, so what happened was, and I've told this story before, what happened was Roseanne, do you know if you show absolutely fabulous? - I know of it. - It's a British show about rich drunk women, basically. So Roseanne had, and this may be apocryphal, but this is what I had heard, was that Roseanne purchased the US Remake Rights to absolutely fabulous. She made a pilot and it didn't get picked up. So she basically said, I'm just gonna make Roseanne into absolutely fabulous. So she had them win the lottery and become very, very rich. It didn't quite work. So towards the end of the season, what she did was start ramping it down, making it more dark, and then it's revealed in the last episode that the entire Roseanne series was made up in her head and the story she wrote after Dan died. And he's been dead the whole time. - Wow. - Yeah, wow. - Totally pulls it off. It's fantastic. It's one of the best actors. - And you watched that and throw a can at the screen. They pulled it off with you both. - Oh yeah. - I was like, grit. 'Cause I wasn't into the last season because I was like, this is ruining everything I liked about Roseanne. And then that last episode I was like, bravo. Well done. You got me. You got me. - I launched a handful. I found out what masturbation was because of Roseanne. - No one's, if we could pull one quote from this episode, I found out what masturbation was because of Roseanne. How flattered? - It was, yeah, years before I ever actually engaged myself, but I remember watching it. It was like DJ spending a lot of time in the bathroom. - Oh, yes. - And eventually they said the word masturbation. - Yes. - And I don't know what that is. So my mom was always very literate. She always made sure that I had dictionaries. Like I had a Sesame Street dictionary as a kid and like a young adult. - Which didn't cover masturbation. - Yeah, no, not at all. So like every couple of years, I'd get a new dictionary for where I was my. And this was like the American standard, like the first adult no pictures dictionary. - So you looked up masturbation. - And of course, if you've never done, it made no sense to me. I didn't know what that was. So I was like, okay. - I don't know. - I can't even imagine how no pun intended, how dry the dictionary definition of masturbation is. I don't think I've ever looked that up. - I didn't comprehend it. Like it was just like, okay, that's what he's doing in the bathroom. I don't know what's a big deal. - Jeez. So what a great legacy for Roseanne. This one has a Hugh Heffner cameo. It's not a good episode. Mad about you was also on at this time, which I probably would have watched instead 'cause it was a better show at the time. But you definitely were not going with that. Also, we missed out. Neither of us picked the gods must be crazy part two. - No, no. - At 8.30, what'd you go with? - By default, because there would have been nothing else on for me to watch. Grace Under Fire. - Grace Under Fire wasn't a bad show. - But I didn't, I wasn't, 97, I wasn't watching it then. I watched it in reruns like a couple years later. And I looked, and I, for the longest time, thought that Grace was the mother of Donna from that '70s show because they looked so similar. - Hold on a second. You thought that Tanya Roberts, former Playboy Playmate and Bond Girl. - That's Grace Under Fire, that's Grace's pedigree? - No, that's Donna's mother on that '70s show. - No, no, no, no, no. - Grace is played by stand-up comedian Brett Butler. - Yeah, I thought Brett Butler was Donna from the '70s show, not her mother, but her-- - Oh, Laura Pepperon. - Yeah, yeah, the girl from Orange is a New Black now. - Yes. - I thought that actress was the daughter of Brett Butler in real life because they looked similar to me. - Oh, 'cause you thought they looked so similar to me. - Yeah, I was gonna say, you weren't confusing Tanya Roberts, who's in Beast Master, by the way. - Yeah, yeah, a four Brett Butler. - I don't know, not her half. The bottom girl you're talking about is, that was a view to a kill, right? - Yes. - Oh my god, I watched that with her buddy and we were both sitting there, I'd never seen her young before, her first appearance was feeling like, "Oh my gosh, I could not believe how gorgeous you are." - I cannot recommend the movie Tourist Trap enough to you. - Oh, Yontanya Roberts, it's literally the scariest movie I've ever seen. It's the only movie, the only horror movie that truly terrified me is Tourist Trap. - Really? You puked at the fly. - I didn't forget the fly, but Puke and Terror are different things. - Okay, okay. - And Tourist Trap chilled me to my bones, even more so than seeing Isaac as a leprechaun, what Tanya Roberts is in that. She's also in the buff in Beast Master. - Wes is right at town, I should mention. - Chris Centerfry was a bad show, but I was a huge, huge fan of the Naked Truth with Talioni, which was a totally underrated show. It was only two seasons, that was on the same time. Hands down, I'm gonna watch that really funny, weird show. - Talion, I'm mostly, she was bad boys, right? - She's in bad boys, she's also flirting with disaster, she was married with a company for a while. She was very funny. Nine o'clock, what'd you go with? - Let's see, so nine o'clock home improvement. Gotta go home improvement. - I hated home improvement. - Great show. - I hated it, I guess you know. - Like, so did you, did you just feel it was formulaic or that he was like too, like he was so dumb that they dumbed out? - It wasn't funny. I hated every single character on it, even though it took place I think outside in suburban Detroit, it seemed very southern to me, which was really off-putting. - I didn't have a seven, well I purchased her, Richard's and the wife, she played a clan, like the wife of like the grand wizard of the clan and some may routine. - She had that real twang, it just was like everything I hated about America. - It's very, a lot of physical comedy too, like the comedy comes from him like falling down. - You keep in mind, I'm like an angry 17 year old who's a snob, I'm not liking home improvement. - Not a JTT fan. - Not a JTT fan, he never redeemed himself. Like he was like, "Oh he made some cool stuff later." Like he just always seemed like just a douchebag. - He had a couple of good, even a comedy with Chevy Chase, right, like Man of a House or something like that. - Oh that's not a good comedy, I saw it at the right time. I saw it right. - Oh my god, I would have gone with Faulty Towers. - That's a British show, right? - You've never seen Faulty Towers? - I have a single episode. - Faulty Towers is considered one of the greatest sitcoms of all time and easily one of the funniest British shows ever made. - Also we have, also have that at work, I think it happened. - John Cleese was only 13 episodes, you could watch the whole thing. - Oh wow, you gotta see Faulty Towers. - John Cleese, I read an article with him two years ago. His ex, why, his alimony payments are, he's not doing his lecture. - He's like, I can act and get the most lucrative roles and I will still be struggling. - Did you watch Money Python? - As an adult, I watched like an episode, I appreciate it now. - Did you watch the young ones? - No, no. - Young ones is my favorite show. - Really? - Young ones made me who I am today. - That's saying a lot. - If you didn't want to know what made me this, if you watched-- - Is that a sketch show sitcom? - Yes, it's both. - Really? - It's a sketch show sitcom variety show. It's unlike anything else I've ever seen. It sort of launched the alt comedy revolution in England in the '80s, it changed my life, seen it as a kid. If you watch Repo Man and the young ones, you'll go, oh, I get Ken right now, I understand. - So how old were you when you were watching young ones? - Four, five, six years old. - Oh, wow. - MTV used to show the young ones and the monkeys back to back, and they're very similar in a lot of ways and totally blew my mind. - Okay. - Amazing, there's an episode with the band Rip Rig and Panic with a very young Nina Cherry fronting them. - Oh, really? - Yeah, I know Nina Cherry, Buffalo's thing. - Yeah, madness is it. Nina Cherry's new record's really, really good by the way. - Have you seen, what was it? Until the end of the world of four hour-- - Yes, I win winners. - Yeah, I've never watched it 'cause it's impossible to get like the full-- - You gotta watch it in segments. - Really, you can't watch this straight through? - Yeah. - Okay, okay, 'cause she, Nina Cherry, she's all on the soundtrack, which I have, the soundtrack is incredible. - The crime and the city solution song on that soundtrack. - Yeah, I love the adversary. - The day, is it, I don't know if it's talking head to just the lead singer talking heads, but-- - David Bern doesn't do the guitar. - Yeah, that's, I really like that. I'm gonna watch it. - And Lou Reed covers this magic moment on that soundtrack. - That I don't even remember, it's been, yeah, all right. - Yeah. - That's really good. - Well, that's the night. - Yeah, all right, so where were we here? Oh, 9.30, what'd you go with? - In the house, make it a company. - In the house again, I would have gone with Spin City. - Okay, well I will say that nowadays, 9.30, assassins, definitely. - Assassins. - Without doubt. - With Sylvester Stallone. You've picked a lot of like Sylvester Stallone, John Travolta. - Like, John Travolta, shall we'll get to John Travolta, he's coming up. - Okay, so what's going on Wednesday night? Eight o'clock, what'd you go with? - This is one of the few times, there's one show in the block, it's the same for 1997, the same for 2014, straight up, point break. Half the way 'til 8.05 though, 'cause it's on CBS. - 'Cause it's a TBS time. - Exactly. - Which, as we discussed, is the most brilliant move Ted Turner ever did. - Absolutely. - Absolutely evil, wonderfully evil. I would have gone with a very special special that aired 'cause it's summertime. It was on ABC, and it's called Senior Prom. - Okay. - Jennifer Love Hewitt hosts this look at the preparations for prom night at a school in the upper class town of Sugarland, Texas, and at an inner city school in Boston. - Wow. - Despite the economic differences between students at both schools, the rituals remain the same. This is exactly the kind of thing I go nuts to watch. - I watched that, it was amazing. - How amazing does that sound? - That sounds pretty cool, that sounds pretty cool. - I mean, even just a documentary from 1997 about prom preparations in inner city. Boston alone is good. I let alone Jennifer Love Hewitt and comparing it to Sugarland, Texas. - What neighborhood would they have been in? That's interesting. - They probably would have gone to Dorchester or Roxbury, I imagine. - Yeah, wow, that's, Jennifer Love, 'cause I can't hardly wait, came out, and everybody in my school saw it, and then I didn't get a chance to see it until like two years later, and I watched it, and I was like, this is amazing. I love it. - I love that movie. It's a great movie. - It's, if you ever listen to the commentary track on the DVD, you'll get very sad, though. - Really, how so? - Because the people who directed that, who was a team of people, two people, I can't remember their names right now, they also made "Joseph and the Pussycats," which was great. - Didn't see that. - Really subversive, really fun. - Really? - If you liked "Cantarly Wait," you've got to see "Joseph and the Pussycats," 'cause it was the follow-ups "Cantarly Wait," but the studio really went in and edited the hell out of "Cantarly Wait," and took out a ton of stuff. They ruined the whole structure of the movie. They CG-eyed things out, so there's a scene where a kid has a beer funnel or a beer bomb and they made them CGI it into a red balloon. So you'll actually see in the background, at a party, some kid walking around with a red balloon, which makes no sense whatsoever. They made them cut out a lot of the-- - Are the original scenes on the DVD? - No, they're gone, yeah. But the movie's still really great, and Jenna Elfman has a great role in it. I love Jennifer Love Hewitt. - Yeah, like-- - That movie was, there are a couple things in the '90s that were made for me, meaning they were about kids that were the age I was when the movie came up. So for example, "Cantarly Wait" was about the class of 1998. I was the class of 1988. My so-called life was about high school freshman in 1994. I was a high school freshman in high school. So those things that was like this is me, those are my people. - Yeah, definitely, definitely. - But Jennifer Love Hewitt, I have a very soft spot for her. - That's how I start. I think I liked Guns N' Roses because of "Cantarly Wait," like the Paradise City. - Oh, you enjoyed "The Paradise City," exactly, exactly. That's what-- - That's a great movie. So I definitely would have watched that. 8.30, I didn't have to pick anything, but you did. What did you, if you didn't go with "Point Break," so what would you go with? - I didn't, "Point Break," that was-- - That was your night. - That was your night. - I'm doing that. I love that movie. - I truly love that movie. - Well, it's Katherine Bigelow, who is one of my favorite directors. I really love her. - I love that movie. - I never saw "Blue Steel." - "Blue Steel's Good," but my two favorite movies she did were "Near Dark," which is one of my favorite movies of all time, probably the best vampire movie of the 80s. - It's, what's the one, "Lost Boys," I kind of like-- - "Lost Boys" and "Near Dark" came out the same week in 1987. - Really? - And I saw them both the same week, and I like "Lost Boys," and I still like "Lost Boys," but "Near Dark" is just such a great-- - "Lost Boys," I'm guessing, must have kicked ass at the bottom. - Oh yeah, "Lost Boys" was a huge hit. "Near Dark" was a minor. - It's an art film. - It's an art film. - It's a really, really great movie, and she made a movie before that called "The Loveless" with Willem Dafoe, that's about motorcycle gangs. - Wow, okay. - Pretty good movie, but "Wings" was on for three episodes in a row this night, so I would have gone with that after "Scene Your Pro." - Never seen a single episode. - Oh, "Wings" was great, did you like "Cheers?" - Yeah. - It was a lot of people who worked on "Cheers," and it took place in Tuckett, it's about a-- - "David Angel" created it, who actually died in 9/11. - Wow. - Yeah. Which not to bum ever ago, but "Wings" was a great show, really funny show. - You've met a lot of TV stars, like the only TV star I think I've ever met was Kelsey Grammar, like-- - How was he? Was he a nice guy? - He was after a performance of "Macbeth" in Boston. I went out to my high school friends, and we ran to the backstage to meet him-- - I will say this, it was a performance of "Macbeth" that took place in Boston, not a play called "Macbeth" in Boston. I would go see "Macbeth" in Boston. - That should be a show. - Yeah, "Macbeth" in Boston. So you went to the stage dorm, then? - Yeah, we all went out and we got his autograph and everything. - And he was very nice. - Totally nice, very, you know, there was very brief, but yeah, he's a great guy. - What did you have inside, just a blank piece of paper? - Uh, yeah, I just, whatever I had on me. No, it's a playbill for the show. - A playbill? - A playbill. - Nice. So Thursday night, what'd you go at eight o'clock? - "Toy Soldiers." - "Toy Soldiers" is a great movie. - I love that movie. - That is a great movie. - Love that movie. - Yeah, movie. - It doesn't feature the "Martica" song, sadly. - Ah, that's it. See, when he did, I just thought it was genius, and then he's like, "Oh, I was in the show." And I was like, he's genius. - Yeah, I would never think of that. - It was just like, yeah. - Yeah, "Toy Soldiers" is a great movie in the absolutely terrifying portrayal of a Cuban terrorist. - I forget, they wanted the release of his brother. Was that what they were going for? - Yes, yeah, yeah, it was something like that. But the guy who played the lead terrorist also played the evil genie in the "Wishmaster" series. - Wow, okay. - And I can't, Andrew Divoff is his name. - Did he whips? - Shot off some like a metal, like a television answer. - But then he like feels bad about it for some reason. - Yeah, that was a crazy movie. I really like that one. - He also was in the movie, which I've seen showed you the trailer for "Neon Maniacs." - "Neon Maniacs." - Yes, I think I've showed you the trailer menu. Were you on a "Secret Menu" episode where we showed the trailer-- - No, you saw the one where Steven Segal was kicking ass for the guy drowning puppies or cats? - Oh, yes, that's out for justice. - Out for justice now, which is-- - Hey, you guys go poppin' dog food. Poppin' dog food? - Yeah, I still have not watched that, but it's definitely-- - Oh, it's fantastic. - Toy soldiers not to be confused with small soldiers. The-- - Joe Dante movie. - Exactly. - With David Cross. - It's a great movie. - You know what, because my last name's Hazard, the main antagonist is the little guy Chip Hazard. - Yes. - And they did a promotional campaign where they eat, they just mass mailed at anyone with last name Hazard. Like, I think it was-- - Really? - Like, I got a sticker, a press kit, like sort of about the movie, and something like a redeem at something that I never did. - So anyone whose last name was Hazard got this press pass? - It was like, yeah, it was like, I don't know if they did everybody Hazard or if my mom happened to be on some sort of list or whatever. - I've never heard of a campaign like that. - It was weird, like, yeah, she must've been like, I can't imagine everybody named Hazard. - Yeah. - But it was either, it was like-- - You could ask DJ Hazard. - Yeah, see if he remembers it. Yeah, it was like, it must've been having the last name and a combination of having your name on something else. - Being a certain age group. - Yeah, something like that. But like, we got it, and like, I got real excited. - I, to this day, still love getting mail and I order things just to get mail, so I get home, I have packages. And as a kid, I signed up for everything free that you can ever imagine. So every free sample, every catalog, whatever. And I caught our mailman, this guy named Virgil, stealing a box of a big mix cereal that I got a little sample box and I saw him not put it in our mailbox. And I knew that I had sent the way for it. And I turned him into the Postmaster. - So you didn't confront him straight up? Like, when you saw it through a window? Or you're like, yeah. - Oh, I was waiting. I suspected, 'cause I would get stuff like a fabric topic, stuff I didn't need, but I just like getting something I need. And I committed mail for out as a child getting free CDs from me. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - But, yeah, and I knew, I knew he. I set him up, I knew he was doing it. - My mail story, I signed up for the army when I was like 11, and they-- - What you can't do? - Yeah, and they sent and I sent him the thing, like a recruiting thing. And they got like a really nice package, like, you know, based on your age, you're too young, but we look forward to your service when you're 18, yadda yadda yadda. I was like, yeah, I felt cool, good mail. - Did you sign up because of Toy Soldiers? - No, that would have made me not sign up. That was a really, like, you know, creepy looking dogs a little bit, like, yeah. - Toy Soldiers, Will Wheaton's finest role? - I don't even remember him being that, like-- - He gets killed, doesn't he? - Doesn't he? - I believe he does. - Wait, so do you care about, 'cause you're not a Star Trek fan, so like-- - No, but I like Will Wheaton, he doesn't stand by me. He's in the movie The Curse in His Underwear. - The Curse. - The Curse is based on the HP Lovecraft story, The Color From Outer Space. - Okay. - And Will Wheaton's about 10 in it, and is in Tiny Whitey Underwear, and probably 90% of the movie. - Oh, wow. - It's pretty creepy. - The biggest, tiny, whitey scene, I remember a man without a face, Mel Gibson. - Yes. - Yeah, and the police chief comes to the door, and he didn't even do anything wrong, Mel Gibson, but I hated the kid, 'cause I like Mel Gibson so much, and he got him in trouble with just being-- - He set him up. - Exactly. - He virgied them. - He virgied them. So you're watching Toy Soldiers all night. I think that's a good move. I probably would have gone with that as well. Must see TV was on, you had your sign, felt your friends and all that, but it was real on-- - That's 97 on watching Toy Soldiers. Now, I've never seen it, but without question, would give a chance, the experts with John Dravolta. - That's a great move. - Is it? - Yes, okay. - So the plot of the experts is that there's a town in Russia. This is a Cold War movie. And they're training everybody to be Americans so that they can be spies. But the Russians don't know what America's like today. I think the movie came out in '88. So the town is like a 1950s, idyllic town. So all the people are picture-perfect Americans, but they're 1950s Americans. So they kidnap John Dravolta and Ari Gross, and who are like, happening in the '80s down, to go train all these people in this town. - And they don't know they're in Russia. They think they're in this Midwestern town, everyone's really backwards. And that's the movie where John Dravolta met Kelly Preston, and then they got married later. - The rest is history. - Yeah, it's actually a really entertaining movie. - I saw it in your description, I think it adds much more detail because they just say they're kidnapped to teach about the American culture. I think it's critical that we know that the Russians are in 1950s. - Yes, it's a comedy, but it's very Cold War. It's a little loved movie. It doesn't come up too often these days. As is Ari Gross, that was a guy that was in a-- - Tell him what it was he is. - He's in "Soulman", he's the best friend in "Soulman", he was in "House 2". He was in a great movie called "A Matter of Degrees" that takes place at Brown University, he plays a radio station DJ. - Oh, wow. - There's a great soundtrack to that movie as well. One of my favorites. - And then "Pup-up Vombs", also a radio DJ. - It's same year, similar, mine's similar bands. It has my favorite song by the Miracle Legion, which is, "Did you watch the mentions of Pete and Pete?" - Yeah. - Mark Mulcahy of "Polaris", who did this movie. - Oh yeah, hey, hey, hey. - He was in a band called "The Miracle Legion" from Connecticut before that, and there's a song called "The Homer" in "The Matter of Degrees" soundtrack that's very-- - I love "Hey, Sandy". Don't know what, is it, have you settled to shoot me? Is that the lyrics? - Nobody knows. - Okay, I'm gonna tell you one. - All right. - So, yeah, great movie, Ari Gross, "Soulman". "House 2", he was Ellen's best friend on "The Ellen Show". - As far as Cold War comedies, better or worse than "Spies Like Us". - You know, I like it better than "Spies Like Us". - "Spies Like Us", I saw, I think, when I was on "Seven" or so, to this day, the hardest I've ever left. - Oh, it's really great, isn't it? - It might, if I watched it now, I wouldn't let them, but in my lifetime, like, in the moment, the hardest I've ever left, the entire movie is "Spies Like Us", I was like, full-body laughing. - And Vanessa Angel has a Russian and a bikini. - Oh, yeah, and they get together, 'cause the world's gonna end and everybody. - And then the two Russian dudes go off like that. He's like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." - Vanessa Angel went on to play Lisa in the "Weird Science" TV series. - Which I've never seen in the movie, I've only seen the show. - Really, did you like the show? - I watched it sporadically, but definitely enjoyed it. - There's a lot of people who enjoyed the show better than the movie. - It was a fine show. - There was quite a few shows based on John Hughes' movies. - What else, like a-- - First Bueller? - They made a show of that? - They did. - Really, yes. - That could not have lasted one. - It started the same exact week as "Parker Lewis", which was a much better version of a similar show, and it was a much, much hated show. And also "Uncle Buck". - That was the show as well. - Yes, with Kevin Meany as "Uncle Buck". - Wow, how long did that last? - That lasted a full season. - Okay. - Yeah, it wasn't a bad show, actually. Tim O'Donnell, who was a writer and story editor on "Growing Pains" and just the 10 of us worked on "Uncle Buck", and I enjoy his writing. - I had an "Uncle Buck" moment. Like, last year I left my iPod at the studio, the comedy club, and then had to go back and get it, like, three hours later, where it turned into like a Harvard underground dance night. - Yeah. - And it, like, I'm like, you know, I was like, 28th, and walking through that dance club felt like the end scene of "Uncle Buck". We had to go find it. - Yeah, did you take some kids' pork pie head? - Yeah, where's Bug? Like, it was like, it was exactly like that. Like, this is how we must've felt, 'cause it was weird. - The actress who plays "Bugs Girl" from there, Buck sneezes from Boston area. - Really? - Yes, yeah. Yes, she is. I always feel the need to point this out. - People are, no one finds it interesting. I will also point out that one thing we haven't dealt with this whole week is that beach MTV was on all the time. - So every summer MTV switched to beach MTV. They had a beach house, and everything was from the beach house. - Oh, okay. - I love to beach MTV. And this would've been the height of beach MTV when one of my favorite '90s VJs was on, I Dallas, who was formerly of the band, "Seduction". - See, I never, MTV, like, I listened to different music that was on MTV. - So bad, I still watched it. - But I never, did you ever see that movie "Miracle Beach"? - Yeah, "Miracle Beach", yeah, with Dean Cameron. - And Amy Dolan's "Mickey Dolan's from the Monkey's Daughter" plays the genie. - Wow, okay. - Which is no wonder you liked "I Dream a genie" better. - Yeah, exactly. - Dean Cameron. - I wanna check that out. I haven't seen it in 20 years. - I have it if you'd like to. - Oh yeah. - I made a copy from my laser disc. - I'm at Velcro underwear. - I remember like, a girl has Velcro underwear at night movie. I was all I remember. - "Miracle Beach" was on it. I was on TV quite a bit. All right, Friday night, the final night of the week. - Taking it home. - When we got eight o'clock. - Eight o'clock, step by step. - Didn't like the show. Sleezy. - Sleezy. - You felt it was sleazy? - Super sleazy. - I was really sleazy jokes. There was a lot of parent sex talk on it. It just grossed me out. - See, I was thinking about that the other day, like Amherst couples, like in terms of like sitcom parents, you never think of it this way. But Cliff and Cliff Huxable, like they were like, they had more innuendo. - But that never grossed me out for some reason. - 'Cause it was so natural. - Like they look, there was like a couple who'd been together forever. It still had a flame. - They're gonna do it, yeah. - And like they, but they really, there's a lot of time with them again, then just chilling bed talking about it. I love you like it. - Step by step it would be like, "Hey, how about we go upstairs and I rail ya?" - It was like not level. - It was Lambert, Frank Lambert. - Yeah, Lambert. - Yeah. - Okay, Cody. That's like, that's a stereotype now that they talk about like with like the nutty cousin or whatever, like the TV show, but like he was the guy, like he was the guy. - The surfer dude character was so outdated at that point. He was just the worst. Again, and I mentioned before, the only character I liked was Stacy Keenan. - Wait, which she, which she? - She was the middle daughter. - Middle daughter, okay. I remember so the youngest daughter was a tomboy, right? - Yeah. - And the older one was like a-- - Really prissy. - Yeah, no, that was the middle, I thought the middle one was-- - Stacy Keenan was the sarcastic one. - Yeah, she was like, she wasn't the oldest one. - I thought she was the middle daughter, or maybe she was the oldest. - Yeah, I think she's the oldest one. I could be rock, I could be used. - Then there's two characters that were like a Beavis and Buddy. - Yeah, they were like actually Beavis and Buddy. - Yeah, they were like, oh, the worst. - Yeah, I remember, that was really weird that they decided to incorporate that, like to take like an animated duo and like make them, it was weird. I remember there was one episode though, when the whole buildup was Cody new Brad Pitt, and he was gonna introduce him to the, one of the daughters, I think it was-- - Yeah. - And like the whole thing is like, oh my god, you really know Brad, do you really, really know Brad? And he's like, yeah, and the reveal was, it was Brad Pitt P-I-T, not two teams. - Just some dude named Brad Pitt. - Yeah, he, no, because they, like, are you mean like legends of the fall Brad Pitt, like that Brad Pitt is like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he played dead body number three or something in legends of the fall. - What a clever joke. - Brad Pitt was on a lot of sitcoms. - Well, I'm not real familiar with this team period. - Brad Pitt was Robin Gibbons' abusive boyfriend on the head of the class. - Getting ready for the Mike Tyson situation, okay. - He was also a rock star on "Girling Pains." - I remember you talking now, Bob. - He was in a great sort of weirdly satirical slasher movie called "Cutting Class" with Martin Mull in it. - Really? - And then about 1986 or-- - Like he was the main character. That was a movie. It was a slasher movie called "Cutting Class." And his girlfriend at the time was in that movie, Jill Scholand, who was in the stepfather movie, in the movie "Popcorn." She was kind of a bit of a scream queen at the time. - I mentioned it, which is your favorite Brad Pitt movie? Because that's a guy who I feel most people recognize now. He can act, but he got so stereotyped with the pre-boy image like in the beginning part of it. He's a really good actor. - I like Johnny Swade. - Oh man, I have seen that. I like that movie. - I like that movie quite a bit. I think he's really good in that. I actually really like "12 Monkeys." - He was great in that, yeah. I was soft spot for "Cool World." - That was like, I always felt that that was like the, again, obviously you can't not have comparisons to Roger Rabbit, you know, with that. There wasn't another movie around that time that was also animated in life. - Monkey bone. - Monkey bone, I did not see monkey bone. - Monkey bone's actually pretty good. - Okay. - It was the guy, if I'm remembering correctly, it's the guy who actually directed Nightmare Before Christmas. - Okay. - I think it was his first election. - Wait, cool. Was that Kim Basinger, or was that Kim Basinger? - Okay, okay, okay, okay. - It was Ralph Baske who did Felix the Cat and the Hobbit, the animated Hobbit. - Did he do American Pop too? - He did do American Pop and Coonskin. - Never saw. - And a bunch of other sort of underground-- - So most of the American Pop was rotoscoped, right? - Yes, yeah, that was Baske's big innovation was really using rotoscoping quite a bit. He did Wizards. - Never saw. - Oh, Wizards was probably supposed to do this movie. No, no, no. - That's the Wizard, okay. - That's the Wizard with Fred Savage. The movie Wizards is like a post-apocalyptic world. It was Baske, it's probably his best movie, actually. - He didn't do Heavy Metal, did he? - He didn't do Heavy Metal. - I've never seen that, but I've been meaning to watch Heavy Metal a lot. - Heavy Metal is interesting. Most of the voice cast of Heavy Metal are SCTV people. - Really? - Yeah, there's some good stuff in Heavy Metal. - And then it's Heavy Metal 2000, which-- - Heavy Metal 2000 was after Kevin Eastman from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles had purchased the rights to Heavy Metal. The French magazine met out of here at all, and he made sort of a sequel to it. It's not that great. I mean, the original Heavy Metal, you may be disappointed seeing it as an adult, but I can imagine if you were like a lonely stoner in 1980, it would have been the greatest thing you'd ever seen in your life. - I can imagine that. - A lot of animated boobs. So that's where you're going with the data clock. I would have gone with "Unsolved Mysteries." - Uh-huh, and this one-- - Good handle it. - Yeah. - Segments include the murder of Ennis Cosby, a fatal fall from a hotel balcony, and theories about an alleged government ray gun. Also, a report on aphrodisiacs, including one man's claim, that chocolate improved his sex life. - That's a hodgepodge, right? - Ray gun is in boner chocolates. - All that craziness, and then the very real tragedy of Bill Cosby's murder of his son. - Yeah, this chocolate gave me a boner. The government has a ray gun. - Bill Cosby's son fell off a cliff, and it was very depressing. - Shot in the side of the road. They got the guy, though. She's in the jail, not to this day. - Not the same New Hampshire guy that stabbed him. - But we hope not. - Also, I should mention one crazy summer is on-- - I've never seen it. - You've never seen one crazy summer? - Never seen it. - Tony V is in it. - Really? - I had him on my, actually my birthday show, edition of "Secret Menu" this year, he came on and we discussed one crazy summer. It's Savage Steve Holland. It's the second in his unfinished season's order movies. It's shot on Cape Cod. It's fantastically funny, really weird. Have you ever seen "Better Off Dead"? - Yes, I have. - That's his winter movie. One crazy summer is obviously the summer movie. And how I got into college is his autumn movie. But I love one crazy summer. Every year on June 21st, I watch one crazy summer. - That's it? - Every single year since 1986. - Better than "Better Off Dead", what do you say? - I enjoy one crazy summer more than "Better Off Dead". - I didn't love "Better Off Dead". - I love "Better Off Dead". - I was good up until like the second, I want my $2 like so to go to Goofy for it. - What's your favorite 80s teen comedy? - Favorite 80s teen comedy. Oh wow. Obviously I'm gonna table breakfast club 'cause that's like, you know, clearly, that's up there. - That's more of a dramedy. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. 80s teen comedy, what's the, I haven't seen it in forever, but Keanu Reeves is driving this girl. He kind of uses it on a date. Like night before with Lori Loughlin. - Yeah, I love that. - He loses his product 'cause he sells her to a pimp. - Yeah, I remember in like, there's just one scene where he's like, he's challenging some like biker dude and like, he has a gun I don't know if it's a real gun or a fake gun. He's like, he's like, you like that curly? We'll laugh this off and he just hits the guy like pistol up some. - Yeah. - I laughed at that. - That's a really good movie. That's a good pick. That's in the sub genre of teenagers in the big city at night. - Exactly. - Over with adventures in babysitting. - Almost sort of like teenage versions of "After Hours" which is my favorite Martin Scorsese movie. - That's Michael Keaton. - No, it's from the American world from London. It's... - The Foz isn't in it and Foz is not in that, right? - No, you're thinking of night shift. - Oh, okay, okay, okay, after hours of night shift, all right. - Yeah, which is good movies. Well, Ron Howard directed that, I believe. - Really, okay. - "After Hours" is fantastic. - Getting lost in, did you ever see, getting speaking of getting lost in the big city, did you ever see "Judgment Night" - Yes, oh yeah. - And Dennis Leary was the villain. Like, maybe my favorite role by him because he's like, he's like a cool guy, but also scumbag. - That and the ref are probably the best Dennis Leary roles. - That's the mom from Home Alone, is she in there? - Yes. - Catherine Harris. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Second city alum, Catherine Harris. So, 830, what'd you go with? - Staying right on the same time, "Boy Meets World." - Everybody loved it. This was the bad season of "Boy Meets World" when they started being like friends. This was the Thanksgiving episode, which is weird airing it in June of July, but Blake Clark is in this episode, who I always love. 9 o'clock, what'd you go with? - It's close out the week, I guess, Independence Day. - Really? - It's one of, one, I like the movie a lot. Like the movie, don't love it, but there was nothing else on that I saw that one. - I do like the fact that they aired Independence Day on July 4th, 1997. - Yeah, you will say that. - I would have gone with "Sliders" 'cause I was a huge curry whirr fan. - But how, that's what I was worried about. Why was "Twilight Zone" not on this? July 4th, that's what I'm doing. Was this not a thing yet? - It was really a thing. So the "Twilight Zone" marathons were always New Year's Eve things. And they didn't start doing it on July 4th until probably like the early 2000s. - Okay, 'cause that's where I am every July 4th now. It's always, it's always, it's always on, yeah. I mean, there's no, I don't need to excuse to watch the "Twilight" - Wow. - So Wes, we've come to the end of the week, but as you know, TV Guide does not just inform us. It cheers in its years and it judges the week. So I would like to read you this week's cheers and years from June 28th, 1997 and see if you agree or disagree with what TV Guide has to say. I lost my place, oh here they are, cheers and cheers. So first we start with the cheers. Cheers to the tie that binds family comedies together, the sitcom mom. - Yeah. - It goes into detail. - Yeah, yeah, sitcom moms are great. With the exception of the second one from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, I'm gonna, not great. - Yeah, I mean, who, who could G.R. sitcom? - I mean, my favorite sitcom mom all time without that, Felicia Rashad. - Yeah, everyone loves Felicia Rashad. - She can't not, like she was-- - I love her. - G.R.'s too bashing the bard. Two current commercials, I can't even read that word, spoof Shakespeare. In the first, the English player at his bride, Toretta Sitcom, his inductment, a Klondike bar. - That's a, that's an ad. - Yeah. - Speaking of Twilight Zone, you remember that Twilight Zone, when the guy got Shakespeare to like write modern TV shows? And like he was killing it, and then he stopped working for him. - Yeah. - So they're jeering people making fun of Shakespeare? - I think he's obviously a very public figure. - They may not like our Macbeth and Boston. - Yeah, no, that's where I'm bringing that to the stage. - So do you agree or disagree with that too? - I am making fun of, I mean, you have to respect them, but making fun of Shakespeare, absolutely fine. - Yeah. - And so, to you guys, the request disagrees. Cheers to facing up to problems. HBO's potent documentary, Addicted, hosted by Linda L.R.B., was an unsparring study of people with serious drinking problems. - So they, they're jeering about-- - Yeah, it's a good job, Linda L.R.B., they're basically staying. - Yeah, I mean, I have not seen that. - Sounds like a bum up, but I guess it's good they made it. - Yeah, that'd be right up next to the prom. - The prom would have been the best. - Or if they could have switched and had Linda L.R.B. host The Prom Show and Jennifer Love Hewitt host this hard-hitting addiction documentary. And finally, jeers to jarring juxtapositions, 60 Minutes recent report on the revitalization of New York City, ended with correspondent Leslie Stahl noting to newspaper columnist Jimmy Breslin, a curmudgeonly New York icon, how rare it is to see a prostitute in Times Square now that Disney has remade the once-cd area in his own image. Disney scoffed Breslin, I'll take the hookers. (laughing) - I'm gonna cheer that all the way to cheer. - That's a cheer. - We need a dirty place for hookers and no one wants a Disney Times Square. - Times Square, yeah. I mean, the limited amount of time that I spend in Times Square has been very-- - So the times, yeah, I'm very sad that I never got to go to the dirty Times Square. - Midnight cowboy, like they, you know, that's sort of a 42nd Street and all that sort of stuff. - Yeah. - If that's how it was, they really turned up this one. - I mean, I always assumed it was the Times Square of the Warriors and Basket Case, and I'll never get to see it. - If only the Warriors had been the thing that happened or could happen. - Someday. - Someday when. - So let's just recap quickly what I homework because that leads to this episode. It's on a paper towel, I'm written down, Justice League Unlimited, Black Hole, LL Cool J's Unplugged, specifically looking out for the Deodorant Arms. - Deodorant Arms, yeah. - Let's see, youth are getting restless, Brad Brans, suburbia, not the Linklater film, but different, that's the one with Flea, I'm guessing, right? - Yes, yeah. - Okay. - 1982 or '83, I think. - Taurus Trap/Beesmaster. - Yes, yep. - For me, we already know why. - Exactly. - Could not believe I went to the door. - Yeah. - Young ones, that's the variety. - Young ones, fantastic. - Yup. - And repo man. - And repo man. - And repo man. - I want to understand, Henry. - Yup. - Josing the Pussycats. - Yup. - And the experts with Chavolta. - Yes, yeah. I mean, that's, we're gonna have to check back in and watch all these and see what you think. - Absolutely, absolutely. - Thank you so much for doing this show. - Thank you so much for having me. - You're quite welcome, love it. (upbeat music) - There you go, Wes Hazard. See, I told you, I've really fast speaking in a lot of sniffling, I apologize again. There was no cocaine use or drug use of any kind. There was cake, I think I had some tea and some rose-flavored soda, but I don't think they would have caused that sort of problem. But anyway, Wes is very funny. I will put links up to his tumbler and all his stuff. You should check out his poetry. If he comes to your town, come see him, or if you're in the Boston area, definitely check Wes out. He has performed with comedy Bang Bang when they've come through Boston, which is pretty cool. He's a nice guy. And as always, email me, can at iconread.com. TVguidescounselord.com. You can find us on Twitter, Facebook, all the usual places. And I love hearing from you guys. Let me know what you like, what you don't like, who you'd like to see on the show, who you'd like to see not on the show. If you want me to put people on a blacklist on just a no-fly, never have this person on the show list, I'll do that for you, but just for you. And we always have special edition episodes, so make sure you subscribe. A new episode comes out every Wednesday, but sometimes you get episodes on Fridays, Saturdays, overnight, you never know. You never know what I'm gonna put out. So thanks again, I appreciate you listening, and we will see you again next time on TVguidescounselord. (upbeat music) anything went with my dad on the weekends. I found out what masturbation was
