Wait, you have a TV? No, I just like to read the TV guide. Read the TV guide. You don't need a TV. [MUSIC PLAYING] Hello, everybody. It is not Wednesday, you may have noticed. It is, in fact, Friday. And it is time for a little bonus episode. I have a couple of episodes more than I normally do, so I'm giving you guys a little extra this week. This week, my guest is Matt Kona, who is a comedian here in Boston. Matt is also somebody I know from the punk rock days. Matt, at some point, interviewed me for his zine as a teenager when I was in my band. I don't remember it, and I don't know if the zine ever came out. I don't think it did, but then Matt started doing comedy later. So there you go with Matt. Matt's a funny guy, and also I want to mention that if you are in the Boston area, like some of us are, we will be doing a show together on March 13th. So that is next Friday night. It is at Bridge 9 Records, the legendary hardcore record label, Bridge 9. And it is sort of a punk rock flea market and storytelling event. So it is me. It is Matt. And then we have James Messino from the Ducky Boys, my friend Mark Lind from the Ducky Boys. It's only $5. I will be selling much of my teenage punk rock record and t-shirt collection whenever it can dig up. So that isn't Beverly Mass. Danvers at Beverly. Anyway, you can look it up. I'll put a link to it on the notes. But you should come out to that if you can. And anyway, on to the episode. This is Matt Kona, and you will enjoy it. So here you go. TV guidance counselor, Matt Kona. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] Mr. Matt Kona. Thank you. How are you, sir? Very pretty good, thanks. Drinking coffee. That's not Kona coffee, though. No, yes. But it is strong. I don't know if Kona coffee has a reputation for being-- It does. It's very strong. OK. Well, you requested strong coffee. I did. So I knew that I would have to be on the ball for this. Yes. And nothing puts someone on balls like strong coffee. But you know what would have counteracted any sort of strong coffee on the ball with it, Ness? Is the cookie plate I prepared for you as well? Yeah. Yeah, you gave me this real nice cookie. This is the-- I mean, I've only been on a handful of podcasts in the recent past, but I've been treated the best on the team. Thank you. We try to treat people nice here at the homestead. This is the first time you've been to the house. Yeah, yeah, it's wonderful. So I didn't ask for a full tour yet, because I know we just got to get done. Yeah, you just got the first floor. And I took my sweet-ass time going through the TV guide. Yeah, but they're tough decisions. I mean, that's why you have to do this. You can't make impulse decisions. That's why you want to plan in advance. When I would get the TV guide on Wednesdays, I would plan. I would have two full days to decide what Friday I was going to bring, and that takes time. Also, you weren't the person who took the longest. I won't mention who that was for a very long time. Maybe we'll after the podcast. But I did try-- I did do a little bit of pre-production, as I was telling you earlier off, Mike, where I tried to at least work my decision-making muscles better by taking a car and TV guide. Yeah, it's very different now. Yeah. Also, like, less on TV, although I had a few problems with this one where there was some nights where there was a lot of movies or something. Yeah, well, you could pick a movie, you know? Watch part of a movie. So you picked the week of September 21st, 1985. What drew you to this particular week? OK, well, first of all, my game plan was thrown out. I thought I was going to come in a little bit prepared. But my big idea was to do Sweeps Week. Right, why did you want to do Sweeps Week? I thought those would be some big episodes where they have tons of stuff, you know, guest stars, and not always. I thought they might be fodder to talk about more. So for people that don't know what Sweeps Week was, it kind of doesn't exist anymore, very much, for good reason. It was twice a year. The ratings were calculated, and that's when the rates were set for the networks to be able to charge for ads. So that was the snapshot they would take. So if you got a huge rating during Sweeps Week, you charge for that huge rating for the next six months, even if that's not what you got. And we kind of don't do that anymore because the ratings calculator is much more accurate now. So they can tell who's watching what every five minutes in real time almost. So you don't really need to do this sort of level setting of Sweeps Week. And some would argue it didn't go away. Our whole television culture has become Sweeps Week all the time. It's all stunts, and it's just constantly vying for the attention of people with shock and awe all the time. Newspaper headlines, magazines, things to click on to see. Yeah, I mean, it's a constant barrage of stupidity. It's like Circus of the Stars, 24 hours a day, seven days a week without any stars. Brad Pitt, Kid, Guest Star, and everything. That's true. So you didn't pick a Sweeps Week one? No, but what happy little accident? Well, because I looked up Sweeps Week. I just-- I did it to go back to how I switched to another day. I messed up six weeks in the Boston Public Library. Yeah, microfilms. Going through some stuff. Div TV Guide, a microfilm? Come on. They're like, we only have it on microfiche. No wonder the technology's going down the-- I looked up covers for TV guides. I thought it would say Sweeps Week on it. I didn't even think of that. Yeah, they don't really advertise that to people. It was sort of a behind the scenes thing. Actually, as a side note, a good chunk of the collection I received, I did get from two libraries that were getting rid of them. So you'll see if any-- They had already converted them to microfilms. They had already converted them. No, but they had bought a decade's worth, and they were basically throwing them away. One was in Maine, and one was in Nebraska. And we should get an Nebraska one. Yeah, there are a bunch of Nebraska ones. And those ones you'll know I got because someone's written the word "sleeper" on the-- Ah, I saw one of those. Yes, that means-- At first, I thought I said "sleeper" because it was written right sort of a diagonal. "Sleeper" is apparently a librarian code for throw this away. Oh, wow. This is filled with filth? Yes, yes. We've pulled back the curtain of the librarian world. Wow. So we've covered librarians' use that. I don't think they cataloged periodicals as much anymore, but I may be wrong. I don't know if I know any librarians. If you're a librarian, write me in and tell me if "sleeper" is an actual term. If you can, if you won't lose your librarian license. Yeah. Comedian, young, new upcoming comedian who's older than me. Kate Procession, should I not say a very-- Oh, yeah, she's a library, too. But she's a librarian. Yes, she is, yeah. She did a yearbook session, which you can watch on YouTube. I was there live for it. Yes, she was very uncomfortable. You kept catching her in her dastardly way, if you-- Yes, if you go to my YouTube page, you'll see I can read and Kate Procession, your book session from the secret menu. Absolutely. A little plug for myself. I saw that you put-- you posted this, and I was happy to see those because I think I had bugged you when I had done it. Oh, can I see with the point counterpoint? Yes, yes, I'll be posting-- there'll be more of those videos. So you picked this, it's got-- Michael's your Fox on the cover. So I'm going to sue him. That's my favorite. Well, that wasn't one of-- See, I had a real hard time. Again, you narrowed it down to three. Yeah. I put them all under one of your pillows on the coach, and I picked out that one at random. Fair enough. Actually, I picked out the Twin Peaks one, but I wanted to make jokes about the cover of this one, even though you guys never really talked that much about the stories on the cover. But that's from 1985, but it seems like it could be from today's age, because Michael J. Fox is a TV show. There's-- what is it? It's about the hostage crisis, so it says-- There's more, but-- Yeah. There's where they're payoffs to terrorists, how fair was the reporting, and was TV a good or bad influence, and then an actor's journal, How England Survived, The Family Ties Invasion. So this is from the TV movie of Family Ties. They went to England, it was a movie of the week that aired in the late summer before the new season. And so on the Saturday night, you did go from 8 to 10, but I wanted to mention, at 7.30, there was a show called George Burns Comedy Week. And what this show was-- Played later on. It is played later on. And what this show was was a convenient way to burn off unsold pilots. So there were a lot of quote-unquote anthology series that would air in the summer or early fall as an anthology, but it was really just an excuse to have pilots that they would air. So this particular episode was very good. This is George Burns, provides prologs and epilogues for this anthology, which begins with a romantic comedy featuring SC, TV network alumna, Catherine O'Hara, as an escaped mental patient whose pliable mind responds instantly and expertly to suggestions, such as that a police lieutenant who thinks she's arrived to disarm a bomb. I would have watched that show every week. Oh, man. What a great show that would have been on Catherine O'Hara, but sadly did not get picked up. So 8 o'clock, what'd you go with? Well, I want to turn back time and go to 7.30, I guess. And watch the George Burns comedy. I do have the whole-- Well, I do have it on my list somewhere later on. I do have that whole series on DVD if you'd like to see it. Yeah, I mean, fuck, all right. OK, well, it kicks off to me. All right, this is the Tom Dustin episode. Had a lot of flipping in it, so that taught me I can do that. And that's what I did as a kid. I would flip by walking up to TV and clicking around. So I did a little of this on Saturday night. So you never will control it. You had to actually flip. We had a remote control eventually. You had a younger brother. I have two younger siblings, one of each gender. So that's two remote controls. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's true. One for UHF and one for VHF. OK, you know what? I want to get into that a little bit. Should we get before-- Yeah, so would you go with it at 8 o'clock here? Oh, no, I mean, I don't know the difference between UHF and VHF. Oh, you don't know the difference. I didn't have a switch that was on the back of my TV. No, no, no. That's not what you needed for UHF. OK, yeah. So VHF was the network channel. So that would be 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 up to channel 9. Some people had 10 or 11. UHF is the T&T USA. No, that's basic cable. UHF would be the double digit station. So in the Boston area, it was TV 38, 56, 27. Those are UHF stations. So those are a different band. And you would have two different dials for those. You would have UHF and VHF, usually. Awesome. Yeah, so there's your fun fact. Thanks. I liked the movie UHF. I wasn't sure. Yes, and UHF is named because that was a-- That was station. --be-level station, which was the UHF stations, which were the higher, because what was the channel, 62? Yeah, yeah. I loved the TV 38, although they had a bit of rivalry with WLVI, right? TV 56. Yes, yeah. And now there-- I was in the Kids Club on TV. The WLVI Kids Club. Yes, yeah, yeah. Went to a soccer game, just because I didn't-- I just wanted to be-- it was part of the club, you know? You got to go to a soccer game. You got to go to the WLVI. Like, did you have a club card? Yeah. And what was it? There was like a host. I think his name was Paul. Yes. Paul was in a series of ads-- Papa Gino's ads at the time, which is a local pizza chain, where he would say, four bucks. Hoopito! And that guy was auditioning now. So he hosted this local afternoon children's show in Massachusetts. He was auditioning for Mad TV. So when I was in my punk rock band-- and this must have been '97. That's 30 seconds over, Tokyo. Yeah, that's correct. T-S-O-T, All-Stars. That's correct. He came to a show at the first and second church, covered in whipped cream, and asked to be let in, and asked if he could stage dive in crowd surf, because he was a character he did called the whipped cream man. And he wanted to put this in his reel to send a mad TV. And then we wouldn't let him in, because that's ridiculous. And he called us dickheads. Did he revoke your kids club members? He did. He's also in the movie "Wonderland" as a-- "Wonderland." Next stop, "Wonderland." Oh, yeah. Not "Wonderland." Just "Wonderland" is the "John Holmes" movie. Next stop, "Wonderland" is a romantic comedy, where this Paul guy plays a Jimmy Tingles in it as well, but Paul plays a security guard at the knowing owned aquarium. Wow, "Wonderland." Revere, "Wonderland." That's what this word takes. Next stop, there's like six places in Revere called "Wonderland." I remember-- it was the first place I drove to as a kid, got completely lost, went to the 10-yard fight, final show by myself, drove home. It's the only way to go to a 10-yard fight show. Exactly. Shouldn't be any bands named after sports. But that's a Nintendo game. Was there a band called Blades of Steel? They're probably called Steel. I was always ice hockey fan. That was a game before that. Was there a hardcore band named "California Games"? Oh, I don't know. What about T&C, sir? I liked "California Games," though. "Road Rash," sir. There's got to be a hardcore band named "World Rash." I think there's probably a band called "A Psych Bike." But who was-- more importantly, who was on the line-up of that 30-second show at the first and second church? That show was-- No, it was Micah Smaldone of "The Pinker & Thugs." It was his last show at "The Pinker & Thugs." It was "The Trouble." Oh, no, this is-- I was at the show, though. Yes. Unseen's last show with Brian Chainsaw Riley. Riley Riley, who was the son of the assistant principal of the high school that I went to. Oh, really? I once wrote an article about him in this cool newspaper called "Local Boy Makes Good." See, he was new blood in that band, so I never got to know him. But I did-- I pretty much wrote that article to piss off my principal. OK. And it was the explosions first show. Yeah. Yeah. So there you go. Did the "Ducky Boys" play? Like, an abbreviated set. No, there's also footage of that show on YouTube, but without shaving cream, man. Yeah, yeah, there's "Toubles" record release show, right? Yes, you do. So 8 p.m., what'd you go with? I went with Alfred Hitchcock Presents. Really? Yeah. And now, I'm a big Alfred Hitchcock fan. And these shows would scare the shit out of me as a kid. So this is a rerun of the original series. This is on channel 11. This is on the CHF station. This is not the new Alfred Hitchcock Presents, which was airing in 1985, which were remakes of these shows. This is "Long Suffering Husband," sees a way to legally kill his lover, challenge him to kill his wife's lover, sorry, not his lover, challenge him to a duel. Sounds a little boring, to be honest with you. Well, I-- For a Hitchcock episode, since it's a little boring. Well, I think that might teach me some life lessons. You may have to, you know. So I would have gone and give me a break at this time. This was the season premiere of "Gimme a Break," hoping to earn enough money for a house payment. Now, reluctantly accepts a job on a cruise ship, singing along with her ex-husband's band, part one of two. Absolutely would have tuned in for that. 8.30 would you go with? I was flipping back and forth between a couple of movies, which I thought were not listed. I think this was so old that didn't have the listings in the back before-- Before they had movies. Yeah. He said that they're in the front. Anyway, neither of these movies had I heard of before, but the first is "The Pond Broker." On CBN. What network is that? CBN is the Christian broadcast of the network. So they were showing the 1965 movie, "The Pond Broker," starring Sidney Lament directed it. And this was an uncompromising essay on human responsibility centers on a Harlem Pond Broker, haunted by the concentration camp memories. Rod Steiger is in it. It's a pretty depressing movie, as you would imagine, a Christian broadcast. He works in a pawn shop depressing enough. He's haunted by the Holocaust. Yeah. That's crazy. So what you passed up, though, was a documentary news report hosted by Stacey Keach called "High on the Job." And this is Stacey Keach narrates this-- Well, I was flipping, but I didn't-- Oh, no. What do you hear this, right? Stacey Keach narrates this examination of cocaine use among American workers, which explores the effects of the drug through interviews with former users, efforts to combat the problem are detailed, focusing on corporate sponsored programs, included footage of customs officials, tracking a smuggler's plane, and excerpts from Keach's testimony to Congress. Oh, I have no idea. That Stacey Keach testified to Congress about cocaine use. I'd like to see that footage. And he's like, and I'm bringing in a little TV show. Yeah, I need to find out more of that. So you passed that up as well. I did, and I was flipping back and forth between something I have no idea about, but it's called "Paint Me a Murder" on the USA. "Paint Me a Murder" was a British movie. It was made for TV, I believe. It aired on the USA Network. It's from 1985, so it's contemporary. An artist's greedy wife, Michelle Phillips, plots to boost sales by bumping off her husband. So very, very Alfred Hitchcock presents "Start a Plot" for you there. Yeah, I was going to make it a whole night of murdering your wife's ability. Yeah, and murder. High infidelity. So I would watch "Facts of Life." This is George Clooney joins the cast. This is the part two of three of the new season. This is when Edna's edibles had burned down. They were opening over our heads in the next season. This is approaching my favorite season of "Facts of Life." George Clooney joins the cast as George Burnett and appealing, but none too competent builder who's hired to transform the remains of Edna's edibles into a trendy boutique. I absolutely love it, love it, love it. One of my favorite episodes, my favorite seasons of the show. You know, I totally respect that, and I did like "Facts of Life" when I was a kid, but I think because maybe I just tore through so many of your episodes. Actually, but the time this is recording, there's many more to choose from, but I think it shows some things that you might have liked that I would have made the right decision for. So you're just trying to please me? No, no, no, I'm almost the opposite. I wouldn't pick something that was a slam dunk, although I do for something. Okay. But because I know you have such unique knowledge about some things that I know might be an opinionated. Oh, so you wanted to hear more about some things? Yeah, yeah, like, you know, I do. Let's hope I know something about them. Okay, well, let's move on. So nine o'clock, what'd you go with? Oh, you're not gonna like this. I was flipping again between two things, HBO boxing. So this was IBF heavyweight champ, Larry Holmes, takes on world light heavyweight champ, Michael Spinks. Ooh, I thought it was Leon Spinks. It just said, "Mike versus Spinks." Michael Spinks. All right, Michael Spinks. So between that and what else? And CNN's showbiz news. Wow. Yeah. I'm like, "Passed up some really great stuff for this." Again, I had to justify it by saying my piece before. So you passed up the Golden Girls, which is the season period. I think that was the big smack in the face. Did you ever want us to watch that? Yeah, I did. I liked the Golden Girls a lot. I used to watch it with my grandmother and... Would your grandmother come over your house on a Saturday night? No, I would go over her house. On a Saturday night? Yeah. Did she babysit you guys inside of? Kind of. Yeah, I don't know. I would just stay. I just remember I had a lot of memories of it staying a lot. Staying over there a lot. She lived in Maine. Okay. I would go to York Beach. This is a Maine edition. Yeah, yeah, so. So you would drive up-- And I just came back from Maine this weekend. You would drive up to Maine just every week and stay on the weekend? Well, we would stay there-- 'Cause you were about two hours away from me. Most of the summer, we had this tiny little trailer in York Beach and we just knew my uncle had one. My grandparents lived up there. So we were-- In a trailer? They had a condo. Okay. But they had like a trailer that they, it was theirs, but it was for-- The family? Yeah, okay. So there was a red across from the beach, that trailer parked us right across the beach. Was it right across from the beach? It was a bit of a ride. We would go to short sands. We'd pull up Funorama. Yes, Funorama is a great, still there. Boardwalk arcade game up at York Beach, Maine. Yeah, I think you would like your-- Well, you probably-- Yeah, no, every summer we do do the Route One drive. If you're in New England, I recommend it. You get on Route One around Salisbury Beach and you take it all the way up to Maine, you can go as far as York Beach or you can go even further if you want. See, I never knew you could take Route One the whole way. Oh, yeah, you go through Hampton Beach, you go to York Beach, it's all along the shore. You go through Rye, it's a nice little drive. Yeah, I might try that. No, I have some wheels under me. Yeah. I feel it's new. What's the beach, what's the beach all the way up in Maine, the where everything's in French? Junklet? No, no, you go, do you do go through a gunquip, but it's further up. Oh, is it where George W. Bush is dead, George Herbert-- No, that's Kenny Bunk. Oh, man, I'm forgetting now it's got a big amusement park. It's after York Beach. I don't remember it later, I can't remember the name. Maybe it'll say it in the TV. It might say it in the TV guide. So, yeah, I missed on the Golden Girls season premiere. It's the season premiere. It's the season premiere. You also missed out on Doctor Who, which was the image of Findall, which is a good one. I thought about getting into Doctor Who. It's a Tom Baker one. It's a good one. Also, The Prisoner, which is one of my favorite science fiction shows, one of my favorite shows of all time, starring Patrick McGooin, TV secret agent. What makes you science fiction? It was-- have you ever seen The Prisoner? No. Oh, it was-- so Patrick McGooin is the best Irish person of all time. He was in a show, a spy show, called Secret Agent Man. And he quit the show and wrote and produced the show, The Prisoner, as a reaction to that show. And in this show, he's a spy who quits and is kidnapped and wakes up on this island. And he can't leave, and they keep asking him questions about why he quit. And it's very mysterious, and it's called The Village. And it's very, very good, weird, 60s, psychedelic, weird, dark show, I highly recommend it. Well, I wouldn't have watched my guidance counselor. I wouldn't-- well, yes, if you enjoy-- if you enjoy sort of mind-fucks. I do. In the '60s, odd science-fiction-y stuff, then The Prisoner is definitely something you should watch. They remade it a year or two ago. I think Ian McKello was in it. Oh, wow. It was not very good. But it's a great show. Great show. It was only 17 episodes, has a fairly satisfying ending. Patrick McGooin-- no one yells at someone like Patrick McGooin does. I could listen to Patrick McGooin yell at people all day. It's great. So you also passed up what I would have picked from my choice. It was a movie airing on ABC that night, and it was the network television premiere of Used Cars, one of my favorite comedies of all time. Right. Is that the rub in Williams? No. That's Cadillac, man. OK. Used Cars. Is this the one-- Kurt Russell. No, no, no. He's in-- Show you, man. Show you, netdy. There's a comedian from around here. There used to be a used car salesman or something. Well, I think he wrote a movie. But he wasn't-- He was definitely not used cars. He was in it, OK. Used Cars is an excellent, excellent movie. Kurt Russell stars in it. Garrett Graham, Deborah Harmon from Just The Ten of Us is in it. Robert Zemeckis wrote it. Michael McKian's in it. Joe Flaherty's in it. It's a great, great movie. It's one of my favorite comedies. It's from the year 1980. It actually just came out on Blu-ray from Twilight Time. It's an incredible movie. And the DVD is great. It has a really, really good commentary track that I recommend everybody gets. But it's such a funny, great movie. Used Cars holds up really well. All right, I'm shocked that you've never seen it. Yeah, I am, too. Well, I mean, I'm-- It's just a lot of big movies. Slightly appalled. Yeah, you know what? I will watch this. Used Cars is fantastic. So Sunday night, eight o'clock, what'd you go with? Oh, wait, did I say-- I didn't say 9/30? Oh, 9/30. Oh, whatever, it was 227. You and Julia Rosie talked about it. I'd never heard about it. You'd never heard of 227? No, it's a great show. Yeah, you guys won me over on it. So I didn't even read the description for it. I just chose it. So in this one, Brenda, Regina King, who's the daughter on the show, hopes to impress a boy who has eyes for a, quote, older woman. So she seeks advice from Sandra, who's Jackie Harry, who everybody loves, and ignores her mother's counsel to be herself. That is a fun episode from the first season. It's pretty entertaining. Thanks. How many seasons were there? Two or seven lasted for about eight seasons. Barry Solbow was on it in the last two seasons, who you've met. So Sunday night, eight o'clock, what'd you go with? Oh, I went with Dennis the Menace. Dennis the Menace, the classic Dennis the Menace show. It was always in black and white. So this was on Nick and Knight. Cartoon, right? The cartoon was not. That was later. That came late '80s. The cartoon started in '84, and the cartoon was much more true to the comic strip. But the original was pretty good, even though they replaced Mr. Wilson later, because he died. Oh, no. So you-- And you did Mr. Wilson? I would know live action Mr. Wilson, yeah. So you passed up the Emmys. Yeah. Emmys were on this night. Flip to them at 8.30 for a little while. OK, this was the 1985 Emmys. I was the 37th annual Emmys. It's just a pretty good lineup of people. I think I definitely probably would have tuned in for the Emmys. Yeah, but see, that would make a boring podcast. If I just chose four hours of Emmys. Oh, not necessarily. I mean, you know. All right. So 8.30, what'd you go? I'm going to flip around between the Emmys and NFL highlights. It's just a show that I'm not gay. I really don't know. I think it's a pretty game. No, I like gay stuff, like sports. Well, you are wearing a New England Patriots. Yeah, but this is more because it's ironic. I got it free with ordering office supplies, and it's basically like wearing a snuggie. You should have been in trouble for-- You should only be able to get New England Patriots hoodies free for ordering office supplies. Or like once you-- The Pro Shop is just filled with printer paper. Yeah, like every five pounds fatter you get from eating Dunkin' Donuts, they should just hand you a new New England Patriots hoodie. That's what you do. Every 200th iced coffee you get, they're like, oh, you're going to need some new clothes. Here's a new New England Patriots hoodie. Yeah, I'm on board. Yeah, I don't know. I do like football. Is it boring, though? Well, it's like two seconds of action, and then like 20 minutes of standing around. Well, what I do in this age of DVR is I will record a game and then go do something. Maybe I'll watch a show. I'll catch up on an episodic television show I watch, and then I'll go back so I can fast forward through all the boring stuff, and all the commercials, and get to-- And when you fast forward, do you play Yackity Sacks? Because that would make football enjoyable to watch. No, no. The only thing I ever liked about football was a good documentary I saw about head injuries. Oh, really? Well, I love documentaries about all sports of a sucker for those, but-- So this is just highlights of football, too. From 1984. Yeah. This is the previous year's highlights at that. So nine o'clock would you go with? Nine o'clock, I went with flipping between two movies that I've never heard of-- "Death of a Gunfighter" on 300, Channel 388. And that's on channel-- it's not 388. OK. Is it just TV 38 of me? TV 38, yeah. OK. That makes more sense. That makes more sense. Yeah, and what was the other most strange love of Martha Ivers? Yes. Is that on Nickelodeon? It was on Nickelodeon. It was on "Nicket Night." So "Nicket Night" used to also air, especially in 1985, before they really got their rights to a lot of old shows like Donna Reed and that sort of thing. They used to air 1940s movies. And especially on a Sunday night, they were always there at 1940s movies. And this is a movie from 1946. It's "The Strange Love of Martha Ivers." It's a grim, compelling tale of murder, passion, and violence, and a small, midwestern town with Barbara Stanwick, who everybody loves Barbara Stanwick. I have no idea who Barbara Stanwick is. You don't know who Barbara Stanwick is? You should really go and Google that. Who will get here? Matt is getting up to get more coffee. OK. Barbara Stanwick's-- you've never heard of Barbara Stanwick? Ah, I can't. I don't think of an instance where I have. Wow. She's a classic movie actress. She's a classic movie star. Well, maybe that's a book. Yeah. So it's a good movie. I would still probably be watching "The Emmys." At this time also, Nick and I used to run a show called "Mad Movies" that was the LA connection who are an improv troupe. And they would edit movies down to 30 minutes and then re-voiced them. And it was a pretty funny show. They did a particularly good one and not a living dead that I liked. That's clever. How's that not a web series? I know. So I would still be watching "The Emmys," but I think you've made the wrong choices all around. What you passed up was the movie, the TV show, rather crazy like a fox, which stars Jack Warden, who is in, used cars. That was on my radar. Yeah, him and his-- he's a private investigator. And it's him and his son. They investigate the disappearance of Harrison's friend, whose forthcoming book contains mob secrets. Well, I regret that. Fun show, fun show. Well, at 9.30, I also fly flipped one and a half hour, too, between one dead or alive and on USA. Classic 50s Western. Yeah, and baseball's crayons hits. Geez. Do you like Westerns? Not really. I don't know. I do like Westerns on paper. I like the guns on your book. You like Western books? I like the guns on your book. Well, the guns on your book. I think it's hardly a Western. Well, it was a Western-- There's really a Western in it. But it's not quite a Western-- It goes across the wastelands. True. He's on a train. Yeah, that's an atypical Western, I think. So Monday night, saddest night of the week, 8 o'clock. What'd you go with? Oh, I got to pick my attitude right up with TV bloopers and practical jokes. Absolutely. What a great show. I love bloopers. They're great. And pranks. Do you prefer the bloopers or the practical jokes? Practical jokes. Yeah. This show was always padding with really weird stuff to, like, Lensella's silly cinemas, which were basically almost like proto YouTube videos that they would air on there and people's little short films and all kinds of stuff. They would do-- They take submissions? I don't know what the submission process was. Sometimes they would. They'd have contests like make your own video and send it in. This particular episode is the third season opener. It's a scheduled segment includes bloopers from Desperately Seeking Susan, the Madonna. Oh, yeah. Madonna starring first-- Oh, pre-deleted scenes. Yeah, stuff. Yeah, yeah, no one had the reasons. Well, the Cosby show, "Mash" with Alan Alda-- What do you think they do? Hidden artery? I don't know. Jimmy Fars and the two. So it's probably him making bad jokes. Also, practical jokes on Johnny Carson and Julian Lennon spot the star's early career glimpses of the now famous and Will Shriners' video vault, a collection of home movies, travel films, and homemade comedies. So those were things people sent in. And, of course, Rick D's humorous phone calls. Of course. Yeah, imagine getting a phone call from Rick D. I would think I would hang up on Rick D's. I am a huge fan of American Top 40 episodes from the '80s and weekly Top 40, which is Rick D's. And Rick D's awful comedy segments are just appalling. They're the worst. And he would do-- I remember this particular episode. One of his prank calls is he calls up a guy and he goes-- he puts on one glove when he's making the phone call. And he's like, oh, this is Michael Jackson. And he's doing Michael Jackson voice. It is awful. But I did get a real love for Will Shriners from the show. So Will Shriners was a stand-up comedian. And based on his success from TV's bloopers and practical jokes, he got a gig hosting a morning show called Home, I believe it was called. And then got his own show called The Will Shriners Show. That was on for a number of years that I absolutely loved. I loved being homesick. If I got to go watch The Will Shriners Show, it was only on for maybe a year or two, but it was a lot of fun. Great show. So 9 o'clock, what'd you go with? I went with-- all right. The Family Ties vacation movie. Yes. So this is a cover? Two hour cover store. I know, I won't be able to even stay up for the whole thing. It also has an excellent hand-drawn full-page ad that should have really been a movie poster. Yeah. And should we cover the damn issues? I would like to get this painted in oils and framed above my couch. That's how great this poster is. I can see that being like portrait tattoo. Yes. I know you don't get tattoos. It's like a back piece. Yeah. You don't get tattoos. You don't get tattoos. How many tattoos do you understand the fact that I have tattoos? I have one in my chest that was actually three. That was just added stuff too. What is it? It started just as a keyhole. OK. And then it was a skull around it with it. And then added to it were bones that were also keys. And what is the significance of that? Oh, there's no significance between-- It's just aesthetically pleasing to you. Yeah, but it's not even-- How old were you when you got this? I don't know. I was in my early 20s. OK. I got it. But I have it dangerously close to the notebook. I am so sorry. I got a Tony Clifton tattoo in my left arm, which-- Really? --of Tony Clifton. Yeah, of his headshot. Is it Bob's Amuda Tony Clifton or any Kaufman Tony Clifton? I believe it to be any Kaufman. So what if you want any like, I want this Tony Clifton tattoo, and then you found out it was Jim Carrey Tony Clifton? No, I was very careful. And this was his headshot from the '80s, which says his-- or '70s or '80s, I'm not sure. In probably '80s. But it says he's managed by Jimmy the Sea. Yes, yes, yes. Classic. So family ties vacation. So this was when you would get two hour movies of-- NBC did this mostly. I don't think ABC did this at all. It was sort of an NBC thing. And so they did the "Faxillife" go to Paris, "Faxillife" down under "Faxillife" vacation. It was mostly international. I think it was because you could get some sort of tax credit or whatever country to finance it partially. But in this one, it's family ties vacation. They follow the Keaton's to England, where Alex begins a summer scholarship program at Oxford, and the family has a brush with danger involving bungling British spies. It was always like a bag of drugs got mixed up at the airport, or there were diamond thieves. Very, very weird. James Saxon is in this episode, who you've never heard of, as well as all of the usual suspects. And pretty exciting, pretty exciting. This would have been a big deal. That would have been a big deal. I would have loved to have stayed up to watch the whole thing. And also, because at 11, I could flip to a different station, which is showing something called Turkey Television. Turkey Television was on Nickelodeon. So this was produced by the same people who did. You came to that on television. And it was a series of comedy sketches, newly made, and also some that were created just for the show. It was very rapid fire, cut up segments. You had some foreign things. You had, there was a great, great Australian interviewer called Norman Gunston, who always had shaving cuts on his face. And when I interviewed people, it was really done. Like on purpose? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there was a toilet paper with, like, bloody shaving cuts. Norman Gunston. And he would interview people. There were new comedy sketches. Some of them written by Christine McGlade, who you would know as moose from "You Can't Do That" to television. And she wrote and produced some segments on that show. There was some really funny stuff on Turkey Television. And I was exposed to all kinds of international comedy. It was a Canadian American co-production, because it was Nickelodeon co-produced it. And it was made for children, teens, really. But it became so popular, they started airing it at night, on "Nicket Night" as well. For those do-be-smoke kids. That's right, those do-be-smoke kids. Party kids, party kids. So Tuesday night, eight o'clock, what'd you go with? Tuesday night, I was flipping. OK, I'm flipping between what I believe to be. And you can maybe map this out for me. Between two different wrestling shows, because there's wrestling on ESN, which I imagine to be ESPN, or what later became ESPN. And USA. Yeah, so USA had WWF. USA had the big WWF contract. ESN, I believe, and I'm sure some wrestling nerd will email me because I stopped paying attention to wrestling when I got pubes. But I know there are people who are-- Yeah, it will look fancy wrestling. I want to explore that, if it will. I believe the ESN was WCW, I think. OK, yeah. But I'm not on-- Which may have been called Jim Crockett promotion. Or Mid-Atlantic, yeah. It might have been Mid-Atlantic. Yeah, because that was in the territory days, because this is '85. '85, right. This is the birth of WrestleMania. So WrestleMania, I believe, is going to come on and decimate all the small territories as they can. Oh, yeah, McMahon ruined everybody. He's the Walmart of wrestling. Vince McMahon is the Walmart of wrestling. My dad took me to a wrestling event and walled him. In 1984, and there were Lady Wrestling and Midget Wrestling. Oh, wow. And it was really carne-ish. It was in a town hall, and it was very-- I felt like I was in the 1940s. Did you like it? It was a little weird. It was a little on-the-side show. OK, were you already familiar with television wrestling? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. But you hadn't seen the sort of freak element? No, and I used to go to WWF matches frequently for about four or five years. Yeah. But yeah, this was-- Who is your favorite wrestler? Because I know that you just-- I know you don't like wrestling that much. Do you have any wrestling in your archives here? Yeah, oh, I probably have 200 DVDs of wrestling from the '80s. Oh, my god. Yeah, I have every single Saturday night's main event from the whole '80s. Oh, awesome. Cool. I have a best of DVD, but-- Yeah, but those are released by the WWF in their editing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, though. These are original broadcasts of Saturday night main event. I have probably 200 of them and all kinds of stuff. And some USA wrestling all-stars and that kind of stuff. I really-- There's a wrestling thing. It was pre-money night rub. It was on Monday night, so this may have actually been-- Yeah, this one. But there was this guy-- It was USA Cartoon Express. Yeah, it was USA Cartoon Express. And then up till 8 o'clock, and then primetime wrestling was on it. Yeah, primetime wrestling, it was a studio show. And they had one character who was a retarded guy named Jamison that was later in a-- I don't remember this. He was in an episode. He was thrown off-- well, you'd probably had pubes by then. But he was thrown off the roof by the berserker after he failed to light him on the stake in the studio audience. Well, nobody in the audience did anything to do with it. And you watched this. I watched it, and I loved it, and I-- Oh my god, man. I love wrestling. So you would have flipped between these two, and you would have missed out on who's the boss second season opener, part one of two. This is where Angela retrieves a homesick Jonathan from Summer Camp and fondly recalls her first adult kiss from a boy from a camp across the lake the same camp where Tony spent his summers. So we found out that they actually had their first kiss together. Yeah, he was the one. He was the one. And I remember being five years old and watching this and being like, bullshit. No way. Like, it was too impossible. Too tried. Well, I think you know that I have a weird history with Tony Danza, where I had a dream that he tried to force me to do drugs. See, here's the thing, though. I don't know having a dream about someone constitutes a history. OK, no, but I mean, I know there's something that actually happened to this already. You had a weird dream about Tony Danza. Yeah. What drug was it? Was it cocaine? No, it was just drugs, because I saw a MacGyver episode, where someone is forced to do drugs that I didn't understand. I think we're later a heroin, or maybe smoking crack, and they die. If only you'd watch that Stacey Keach special. No. And if only-- well, you had a Tony Danza reference in the inside of the 30 seconds over toky. Yeah, I hated Tony Danza. Tony Danza's tap drink. Yeah, so my old band, 30 seconds over toky. When I was 15, 16, 17 years old, I had this band, and we put on an album in 1997. And I put in for the address you could write us to. I put in for-- was it pins, patches, lyrics, or anti-Tony Danza propaganda? Back patches. Yeah, anti-Tony Danza propaganda. And people used to write me for the anti-Tony Danza propaganda. So I made a flight, like a whole newspaper, all of made up stories about Tony Danza and making him look really bad. I might still have a copy somewhere if I have one out. Please. But it was like a one-page back-in-front newspaper scene all about evil things Tony Danza has done. And I'm pretty sure they were all made up, but some of them might have been true. Yeah, of course the kids to do drugs. Yeah, it was all about how Tony Danza was evil. And I probably mailed out more of those than anything else. A couple hundred. A couple hundred. Jeez. Anti-Tony Danza propaganda. So by watching wrestling, you pass up at 8.30, the debut of "Growing Pains." The very first episode of "Growing Pains" aired on September 1985, September 24th, 1985. Was the first episode of "Growing Pains." This is Alan Thicke. He was top bill, just hot off a thick of the night. Thick of the night. Is Dr. Jason Siever, an easy-going psychiatrist who works at home so that his wife, Maggie, played by Joanna Kearns, who I love. Oh, B2, I agree. Can return to work after 15 years of raring their three children. In the opener, Maggie is furious when Jason gives Sunmike, played by Kirk Cameron, permission to go to a teen club, but it's Jason who explodes when the boy winds up in jail. It's a good episode, the first season, not as strong as seasons two and three, three and four being my favorite seasons of the show, but still a good show. I loved "Growing Pains." In fact, I had a game show or it was like a memory test that I would play it by myself in secret, where I would just watch it and guess, you know, because I memorized the names of the actors who would come on on the screen. You know, it always come down to Benjamin and, you know, it wasn't, I didn't have the best memory. Who plays Ben? No, I don't know. You don't know Ben? Jason something? It is Jason something. Or Jeremy? No, no, no. He said it's Jason. It's Jeremy Miller. Jeremy Miller. Jeremy Miller played Ben on "Growing Pains." What I used to do is-- No, I threw that damn little girl in. Chrissy, yeah. I would sometimes transcribe episodes in school. So if I was bored, I didn't want to listen. I would sit with a notebook and I would write out the script to "Growing Pains" episodes from memory. Shit, you totally have to be doing me. That's some next level autism. Yeah, that's like, put me in a home for that. Yeah, I would sit there and write them out. Like, it was like watching a rerun in my head. That's how much I hated school. Jeez, yeah. Oh, and I would write the whole episode. I bet if I could find those, they'd be pretty accurate. Yeah, I would love to-- I don't think so. That's some terror. I don't know. I'm very fascinated. It's been the week here. You go through. There's a lot of weird stuff here. That's not like a threat. I'm just playing the week here and go through this stuff. Just tell the listeners what's going to happen after we turn the record on. There's a lot of stuff here. So 9 o'clock, what'd you go with? Let's see, OK. I went with "Moonlighting," a show that I never watched. You've never seen "Moonlighting"? No, this is the premiere. This is the Season 2 premiere of "Moonlighting." "Moonlighting" is a great show. You would love "Moonlighting." It's a very smart, funny show. It was very referential. It was very fourth wall-breaking. It had a lot of in-jokes and references. It was way ahead of its time. It still holds up very well. This is the second season opener. David is jealous when his older brother, who was played by Charles Rocket from "Saturday Night Live," Mr. Sid the F-word. Yeah, he said the F-word, and it was fired. He also later killed himself. He's from Providence, Rhode Island. He healed, right? He slid his own throat, yes. But he was a great actor. I loved Charles Rocket. He was. He plays kind of a yuppy dickhead and a lot of things. But he was actually a very edgy performer. He went to Rhode Island School Design with the Talking Heads. And he had a band. He had a punk rock band. He was very into the arts community. And he sort of made these fake men on the street interviews and sent them to as a joke, which would have been basically a YouTube video now. And he got hired as a sports caster by some network because of that, and wasn't into that stuff at all, and then got on SNL as sort of the new Chevy Chase and the new Cast after the original primetime players left. And not really primetime players. And so he plays Bruce Willis' older brother in this. He was in a few episodes. He was very good. He blows into town, making time with Maddie and throwing around big bucks that belong to a very nasty drug dealer. This is a great episode. I don't even think there's a bad episode of Moonlighting. It's a great series. You should really check it out. So you watch that whole hour? Yeah, then watch that for the whole hour. It was tough to say no to Nashville now with BoxCar, really. BoxCar, really. Becky Hobbs and Skip Devol was on the Nashville network. But what you do-- Skip Devol. No one likes to use a sellout. But what you did pass up at 9.30 on the sports network was roller derby with the Northern Devils versus the Hollywood Hawks taped live in Las Vegas. If it was pre-taped, I would have already got it. Yeah, you would have got the magazine. I would have listened to it on the radio. On the radio, yeah. So 9 o'clock Wednesday-- I mean, 8 o'clock Wednesday night, what'd you go with? All right. OK, this is showing my local pride. I went with a 60-minute comedy movie, kind of a rare thing, called "Stir Crazy." So, yes, this was the-- I thought it was "Stir Crazy" with Pryor and Wilder, right? Yes, that is who is in "Stir Crazy." But that hadn't come out yet, probably. "Stir Crazy" had come out. I think "Stir Crazy" came out in the early '80s. So this was, I believe, the TV series version of "Stir Crazy." It's not a movie. It was a TV version of "Stir Crazy." And this was the premiere, the first episode of the TV movie "Stir Crazy," a non-movie series. That probably didn't happen that often, right? There was many, many shows based on-- Probably just that era, right? No, there's a lot. There's-- I could probably-- Well, "Mibrarian L Street." 10-- Freddy's "Nightmare's." Yes, for the 13th of series, which is not quite based on 15 movies. But there was "Uncle Buck." There was "Fast Times." The "Fast Times" original high series. There was "Ferris Bueller." Oh, yeah. Delta House, based on Animal House. Bill and Ted. There was "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventures." There was-- I already mentioned "Ferris Bueller." There was an Adventures in "Baby Sitting" series for one episode. There was a-- Well, it wasn't episode two. Yeah, it was a pile that didn't get picked up. There was-- Did you ever try to introduce it? No, he didn't, sadly. He didn't. There was quite a lot. "Parenthood" is one now. OK. That's currently airing. Yes, that's based on a movie. So this was "Skip and Harry, Fast Tocked Themselves Into New Jobs as Hitman for a Chinatown crime boss." So-- Is it Chinatown? I thought I said Charlestown. No, Chinatown. Oh, I thought it was real local. No, and "Curtwood Smith" is in this, who's the villain in "Robocop" and the dad on that '70s show. So you thought you were going local, but you actually weren't here. Yeah, maybe it was Boston's Chinatown. Yeah, probably. Yeah, I like that Chinatown. You like how Boston-- Forget it, it's Chinatown. There was a new series that premiered at 8 o'clock this night, and I've only seen one episode of this show. And I would like to get more of it because it was absolutely ridiculous. It was called "Insiders." And I'm going to show Matt the ad for this in case you missed it. But that's what the ad looks like. It's full-page ad. They should tell doing Rick James. Yeah, it says, "Nick is a 1960s renegade. Meckie is a 1980s realist. Reporters who only know one way to get a story become a part of it. The insiders." Whoa, whoa. How did they spend decades? So this says, "A driving rock score propels the series of uninvestigated reporter Nick Fox and his ex-con side, Kit Mackie, played by Stoney Jackson, who later was on the cast of 227, Stoney Jackson. A prince of a fellow who in the opener puts Nick in position to break a story on a car theft ring. This show-- Is that the episode that you saw? I think it is the episode that I've seen. I don't know how many episodes this lasted. I don't think it was a lot, but it was basically a Miami Vice ripoff because Miami Vice was huge. And what city did it take place? I don't remember what city it took place in. Probably New York or Chicago, somewhere that can transcend between the '60s and the '80s with a driving rock score. So 9 o'clock would you go in? On Wednesday, I went with-- oh, I wanted Helltown. Helltown was a good show. It seemed good, Robert Blake, but-- Robert Beretta, yes. He was Beretta. Great actor, but super forgetful with his guns. He was murdering. He plays a badass priest in Helltown. An aging con man arrives in Helltown, claiming to be a hard step's long lost father and daring himself to everyone but the priest. His name was Hardstep. Wow. Father Hardstep. Father Hardstep. That's right. FHS. Have you ever heard of somebody named Hardstep? No. And in this particular episode-- first of all, Danny Poncey was against every episode. Danny Poncey. He played one of the twins on Valerie. But there is a character in this episode played by actor Whitman Mayo, which is already a funny name. A character's name? One ball. One ball. Yes. So Hardstep and One Ball. Ooh, maybe he stepped on his other ball a little hard. We had a kid in my high school who was on the baseball team. You'll like this. You'd like sports. And he slid into home plate. And when he slid, if you heard the stories-- No, but I hear-- He had a cup on, and I just let it-- Based on the-- Base? Based on the content. Yes. So he had a cup on, and the cup cracked in half and sawed off one of his testicles, because everyone called him Johnny One Nut. But one ball would have been better. It's unsafe at home. Yeah, hardstep and One Ball. Oh, geez. Yes. So you watched the whole hour of "Helltown"? No. Well, no, no. In fact, no. I wanted to watch "Helltown," but the awkward description of "Charlie and Company" kind of makes me want to watch that. "Charlie and Company" was not a good show. This was an attempt to get a new Flip Wilson show going in the '80s. Flip Wilson was huge in the '70s. He never really took off back again in the '80s. This is canceling his family's camping trip as tough enough on "Charlie," who has to work. But he faces a tougher task at home. Lauren wants to talk about sex. Oh, yeah. Gladys Knight was in this show. But more importantly, this was the debut TV series of "Julial White." Really? Yes, I believe he was five years old. He played a character named Robert. Robert wants stuff. He was named Robert One Nut. Yes, Robert Hardstep. Wow. Also, I passed over "Dynesty," which was the big opener to the Hushajai. It was, but I never liked "Dynesty." I never liked it either. So Hardstep and "Dynesty." I'll give a shit. "Charlie and Company," little "Julial White." There he is. I'll show you his picture. There he is right there. Listen to areas of the little dog, "Julial White." So you didn't watch that. No. But 9.30, I'm very excited about-- George Burns Comedy Weekend. So we're burning off another pilot. And this one, his new suburban Florida neighbors, a sure New York transplant, Robert Galvin, played by Eugene Levy and other S.C.T.V. a lot. Yeah, so they just-- Law S.C.T.V. Active then, they were just borrowing-- In 1985 was the last year, it was on Cinemax. So it moved to Cinemax for the last year, much, much smaller cast, much weirder episodes. By far the weirdest season. They did a whole "Das Boot" episode. It was very, very weird. They thrown some softcore porn. Yeah, very odd. It was Cinemax. That'll be home for dinner from their day-long fishing trip through the tackle includes automatic rifles and machine guns. Fred Willard's in this episode. Frank Bonner is in this episode. A rare instance of Frank Bonner and Fred Willard in the same TV series. Everyone always confuses them. And it's them. I've been in the same room as Fred Willard twice. Yeah. So it's Fred Willard and Fred Bonner. He was masturbating one of them. That's not true. And also Joe Flaherty's in this. He's one of my all-time favorite people. Absolutely, me too. Thursday night, 8 o'clock, what'd you go with? Thursday night. Well, I was a little bit intrigued by-- the health channel had an update on Raya's syndrome. But instead, I went with something ridiculous, I think, in the wackiest ship in the army. The wackiest ship in the army. Because I just want to know. I mean, it would be great if this ship was just like not that wacky trip. You're watching a lot of Christian broadcasts that you don't like this movie. Well, to be fair, I didn't know what CBN was. And I wanted to pick some weird shit. I don't know. So this, I believe, is-- Did you have-- This is a main-- I'm sorry, talk over you. This is a main edition, yes. This is a main edition. Did we, as Massachusetts residents, have the Christian broadcast? Yes, it was a basic cable channel. It later became ABC Family. They became the Family channel, and then ABC Family, and Fox Family, and whatever it is now. Oh, OK. Is my understanding of-- Family, planning. So you passed up the season premiere of "The Fall Guy," which has a full-page ad of Heather Thomas in a bikini. Well, I didn't look at the ads. I was real focused on the grids for this TV. You weren't with grids. So this is the fifth season opener of "The Fall Guy." In this episode, an ex-com is being blackmailed into for going a new will for a man's sickly uncle. I mean, who doesn't like-- What's waiting? Lee Majors. He's being blackmailed for someone's sickly uncle. Into forging a new will. I'm sorry, I misread that. I'm sorry, I don't know. Yeah. So that was on, but also, you had a Cosby show, which you didn't go with. No, because I wanted to learn more about fucking dumb shit. Fair enough. 8.30, what'd you go with? 8.30. Wait, did I watch wackiest shit in the army for an hour? Yeah, it was a full hour. So you passed up the season four premiere of "Family Ties." Oh, I'm sorry. I'm watching "Family Ties," then. So this one is excellent. Does it tie any strings together from the England thing, or does that just stand along? Just stand along. But this is part one of two. This is the first episode where Alex meets Tracey Pollan, who had become his wife later, and who I believe is from Boston. And so in this one, as the fourth season begins, Alex thinks it's time he's found a steady girlfriend, so he picks one from the freshman directory and visits her. But it's her roommate that lights Alex's fire. And so he falls early. That's like early in Facebook, so fucking. Yes, exactly. He falls in love with her. She's engaged. They go to a dance in part two. And that's when they do a dance together to Billy Verra and the blasters. Oh, I was hoping it was like-- At this moment. And the beaters. Billy Verra and the beaters. The champions. No, if you ever heard Billy Verra and the beaters at this moment, what did you think? Oh, yeah. I love that. Yeah, this is the best. At this moment. I don't know any artist names, but I was fed a steady diet of that stuff for my mother, driving her. That song became famous because of this episode. Really? So the episode made that song go to number one. It's a hit maker. Yes, he decides he loves her. He drives all night to meet her train, where she's going to get married. And he meets her at the train station at three in the morning, and I remember crying. I was five years old and he moved me. It moved me. The romance moved me. That was a great two-parter. And this is at eight-thirty, so-- Eight-thirty, absolutely. As a kid, did you even watch something at nine, or were you just emotionally checked? I was kind of emotional, but I had to go with cheers. Yeah, well, you have to watch something else. Yeah, so what'd you go with at nine? I absolutely went with cheers. Yeah, so this is also the fourth season of production. As much as I wanted to hold back in terms of picking the most obvious and trying to guess. Yeah, it's cheers, and it's Woody's debut. It is Woody's debut. So Coach had died the season before this. This is the fourth season. Did he die in the final episode? He died in real life. I know he died in real life, but-- No, he died over the summer. OK, they never-- I think they just-- That's true. They've got a little bit of dialogue. Right, because as I understood, they really didn't make much mention of it, just like the next day, Woody was there. I didn't realize that it happened to me. No, I mentioned he died. Yeah, it was very respectful. So this episode, an utterly humiliated Frasier makes Sam promise not to visit Diane, who's seeking solace in a convent after leaving him at the altar and embarking on a life decadence across Europe. So this is when Frasier and Diane were going to be married. She goes to become a nun and-- Sam, Diane, right? No, no, Frasier. Frasier was going to marry them. Frasier was originally introduced as Diane's boyfriend. Oh, yeah. On the show. Yeah, I love Shelly Long. You passed up a debut of a new show called Lady Blue, a crying drama that was described as ABC's Dirty Harriet. And so it says-- Wait, wait, was Dirty Harriet a thing? Dirty Harriet is a thing. I wouldn't be surprised if it was an adult film called Dirty Harriet. But this one is a Chicago-- It's discussed, yeah. Chicago Detective Katie Mahoney, played by Jamie Rose, can quote, "read a crime in progress like most guys read the sports page." And in the opener, she-- Well, she was shitting. That's right, yeah. Done to not worry about that. And in the opener, she vows to stop a gang that's terrorizing tenants of a housing project. Even the cops won't patrol. Well, come on, it's a housing project. It's true in Chicago. It's like Cabrini. It's Cabrini Green. It could be haunted by Candyman if it's Chicago. Yeah. Danny Aiello's in this episode. Oh, I love Danny Aiello. 8.30, what do you go with? I mean, 9.30, rather. 9.30. Again, I stayed in-- I think I did the right thing by you. One of my all-time favorite sitcoms, Nightcore. Absolutely, Nightcore. You only had two choices in this particular edition, because the only other show on was Maine Magazine. I know, but it did have a nice story about the Lewiston Hospital. Increasing hospital costs are discussed with representatives of Central Maine Medical Center in Lewiston, but it's a repeat. So, Nightcore is the third season opener. Harry interviews candidates to replace Selma while Bull Morning Her Death goes on a drinking binge. Florence Hallop joins the cast as Florence, and Markey Post returns as public defender Christine Sullivan. So, Selma died, and I don't remember-- Was she a pre-Roz? Yes, okay, the first one. So, Selma Diamond was the first one. Selma Diamond's a fascinating person. She was a writer for your show of shows. She was one of the first women comedy writers on television. She was very funny. She died after season two. They replaced her with Florence, who was a similar older lady. She died. What? So then they were-- Wait, wait, wait, how long did she last before she-- One season. Really? So, Roz came in the next season, and they hired a much younger actress at that point. And also, this is when Christine was sort of solidified as the public defender. Before that, we had Ellen Foley, who used to date McJones in the clash. She put out two albums with the clash backing her up. Her name, yes. They were called The Lash. She also sings on Sandinista. She's great. But she was replaced by Christine, who was Markey Post. This is really one that cast the-- Like the Nightcore cast, who doesn't? The Nightcore cast, most people know, sort of, became solidified at this season. Did Mel Tormade gust star or a bunch? Not in this episode, but this season. He did it a few times. Mac wasn't in the first season. Mac didn't come into season two. There was a great ad with Bull earlier in that thing. Oh, yeah, absolutely. The back of his head. Yeah. So, finally, the final night of the week, Friday night, 8 o'clock, what'd you go with? How do we drag this out more? OK, 8 o'clock Friday night in a precursor, and maybe a fitting book ends to how it began the week. I'm going to watch The Twilight Zone. The New Twilight Zone. The New Twilight Zone. So this was the debut-- It was called Twilight Zone in there. Yes. So this is the debut of The New Twilight Zone. Season premiere of the New Twilight Zone. This was an ery anthology show, as it mentions if we didn't know that. And it was an hour long-- Regular shit doesn't happen here. Yes. It was an hour long, and they would have several segments within the hour. This one starts with something called Shatter Day, which was written by Harlan Ellison. And it started Bruce Willis. He sees a novelist? Harlan Ellison? Yeah. He sees him there. He is. He's a very cantankerous sci-fi novelist. He wrote a boy and his dog is one of his more famous books. But he wrote, actually, if you like hearing about television and if you like this show, which I assume you are, and you're listening, people listening, and you haven't read this, Harlan Ellison wrote two volumes of books in the '70s called The Glass Teet that are criticisms of television. And they're non-fiction analysis of television and they're fantastic. There's two different books, Glass Teet, one in a sequel book, The Glass Teet, highly recommend them. They're very, very good. But Harlan Ellison is also a fantastic sci-fi writer. He wrote a couple episodes of Star Trek. He wrote several original outer limits episodes, including Demon with a Glass Hand and something called Soldier, both of which were ripped off by James Cameron. Because James Cameron does not have an original idea. He's been sued many times for stealing ideas. Demon with a Glass Hand and Soldier were ripped off and made into The Terminator. Wow. Two outer limits episodes. Harlan Ellison sued him one easily and got much of the money from The Terminator. Wow. Yes. Also, a boy and his dog, starring Don Johnson, is a Harlan Ellison, based on a Harlan Ellison book. I didn't see that. Yes, that is a good post-apocalyptic movie. But Shatter Day is how they debut, and it's very dark, dark segment with Bruce Willis in it. Melinda Dillon plays the station wagon housewife who gets her wish for a little piece in quiet. Wes Craven directed both of these episodes. Taking it. Yeah, so it was a great show. You can pick up the whole series of The New Twilight Zone very cheaply on Amazon use. Has one of my favorite Twilight Zones of all time called Wordplay, which is the most terrifying thing I've seen probably in decades. It terrified in my core, and it starts off very funny. It's the best example and illustration of how comedy and horror are the same. The same exactly mechanically. And it's a great-- it stars Robert Klein. I won't ruin the plot. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm very interested. I'm going to-- Wordplay, Wordplay from The New Twilight Zone, starring Robert Klein, is fantastic. Cool. So you watch it for the whole hour? Yeah, I'm going to watch it for the whole hour. I mean, it's-- I did note that if I wanted to flip, there's something which seems ahead of its time meta called Romantic Comedy, which is a movie. That's a movie starring Dudley Moore, and I believe Daryl Hannah. Yeah, it's based on a play. It is. It's not a bad movie, but it's sort of just kind of there. Yeah, I mean, I'm very happy with the Twilight Zone. You also passed up "Breaking" on HBO. "Breaking." That's a break dancing movie? Yes, yes. OK. Are you supposed to stuff in malfunctioning? Yes, our society. So you passed up Webster. 830, you also-- But shout out to Emmanuel Lewis, a lifetime achiever of the Boston Comedy. That's true. He's well known for his Boston Comedy. And then at 830, you passed up Mr. Belvedere because you're watching "Twilight Zone." Yeah. You gave me a very stern look. That's fine, though. That's fine. Were you in the Mr. Belvedere at Fan Club by any chance? I was. One of my best friends and funniest non-comedians-- It was a local Mr. Belvedere at Fan Club. Yeah, well, he might have been in it. He grew up in Melrose. In fact, Richie Bushy is my buddy's name. The Bushies? The Bushies, you knew. The Bushies. Well, the Bushies grew up around the corner from my uncle. The Tonnesis. He's kidding me. Yeah, I've slept over there before. You've slept over the Bushies by Delaney's. We watched the rumble seat in the morning. Yes, did you walk over to Delaney's super-et on the corner and get snacks? I don't think that we did, but if it was near-- I think I remember a jungle gym or a park-- Yeah, oh, yeah. That's still there. It's a condo now. Washington School. Yeah. The Bushie. Wow, you know one of the Bushies. This is-- Yeah, Rich Bushy. He's a Bushy. You and him would get along famously. I'm not allowed to talk to the Bushies. Well, yeah, so I guess I would watch that for the full hour dreaming of the rumble seat. Fair enough. So this is season two episode opener of Mr. Belvedere. I've discussed it many times. Oh, but did you have an iron-on? That's the thing. He was in the Mr. Belvedere Fan Club. That's what made-- I didn't get a Mr. Belvedere iron-on now. Oh, you could choose your-- I don't know what I got. I weirdly don't remember. Weird. That's strange. 9 o'clock, what'd you go with? All right, I went with Miami Vice. So Miami Vice-- Because they invade New York. Yes, so this was where they go to New York. This was sort of a two-hour premiere from the jungles of Colombia to the jungles of New York. This was an episode called Prodigal Son. And this was Crockett and Tubbs poses big dealers in the Big Apple to smoke out Colombians responsible for the vicious murder of federal drug agents. Did you ever watch Miami Vice? No, I might have seen some of it, but not really. Paul Michael Glaser directed this episode of Starkey and Hunch. He's from Cambridge, Massachusetts. He also directed Total Recall-- Yeah. --on a tour to make a movie. --get your astronauts. Three boobs. Yes, it says what movies-- I'm not Total Recall. He directed, I'm sorry, The Running Man. Oh, Two Boobs. Yes, Two Boobs and that. This includes music by Glenfrize with You Belong to the City. Gene Simmons of Kiss plays Newton Blade. Singer Peter Allen has a walk-on as a man in the gallery. Geez. Well-- Gene Simmons playing Newton Blade. Yeah, he's acting at some things. I think-- was he a-- Was it a Runaway? --a Danny Coleman movie? It's not Danny Coleman. Sorry. Magnum P.I. himself, Tom Selick. No, no. Runaway. This is a different movie I'm thinking of. I'm sorry. The Danny Coleman movie, where he's like the head of a company or something. I think you recommended it to me. It's kind of like a bleak-- it's a feature film. OK. Danny Coleman's the head of a company, and it's not 9 to 5. It might be-- I don't know. It might be 9 to 5. But I thought that Gene Simmons was in one of those movies with no makeup. And I could be thinking of something completely different. He plays a train sexual in a movie called Never Too Young to Die starring John Stamos. Yeah, Gene Simmons. I've got a hefty list of things to go on. So you went for the full hour. I just want to mention that at 10 p.m. on ABC was the debut of a new series called Spencer for Hire. One of my all-time favorites. It starts with a quote, "I like friends who make me laugh and make my enemies cry." Spencer for Hire. Spencer's assigned to protect a witness in an organized crime case on the recommendation of a police captain he clashed with eight years before. I love Spencer for Hire. Barbara Stock is a great, great show. Shot locally. Talked about it many times. Now, Macona, we finished the week. And as you know, we did it. TV Guide is not just opinionated. I mean, it's not just informative. It's opinionated. Yeah, but cheers and a jeers. However, there are no cheers and jeers in this episode. So I'll put it to you or your personal jeers for this week of television September 21st, 1985. Well, it's a lot of pressure on me. I would cheer-- you know, how about this? I'll start with the jeers because that news first. Cheers to the media's coverage of the Iran hostage crisis. All right, fair enough. I don't know. It could have been exploitive. And do you like Ollie North? We all know. Cheers to putting great Turkey television at 11 p.m. when I can't watch. Well, it would have been on at 4 o'clock as well. Well, Ollie, I'm sorry. Your jeer is sustained. OK, you're sustained the jeers. All right, well, and cheers to George Burns for giving a voice to young upcoming comics who've been on STV for 10 years. Yeah, but to show that they're diverse. They can do a half hour long sitcom and not just five-minute-long comedy skits. Yeah, well, that George Burns comedy, half hour show, was great, and I can hook you up. Yeah, I agree. Well, Matt, can I want to thank you? Do you agree with any of that? Yeah, I agree. I was kind of lying off the handle. Yeah, that's fine. All right, now, as my god's counselor, do you think that I'm OK? I know I made some rash decisions. I skipped the rash decisions. The sports was a little shocking to me. Yeah, and I was a little-- It picked a lot of weird movies when this was a debut week of many big shows. There were some tough choices, though. I mean, the new Twilight Zone versus Mr. Belvedere, what do we do there? Nobody wins, or some would say we all win. I mean, it's really glass of-- I did have a living room that I would record stuff in. OK. So you had more than one TV? You had two TV. Yeah, we had two TVs. So you could have done both. Yeah, well, there you go. It would be tough, but-- There you go. Well, you can do it now, because all those shows are on DVD. Yeah. Well, Matt Kona, thank you. Can't thank you very much. [MUSIC PLAYING] That was me and Matt Kona talking about the Bushes, or one of the Bushes, at least. And if for some reason you're an insane person, and you can't get enough of me and Matt talking, back in 2012, I did about four episodes of Matt's podcast comics coming up, and actually served as sort of proto versions of this podcast. Matt kind of interviewed me about my holiday viewing ritual. So those are back in 2012. You can find those on mattkona.com, and I will see if I can link to them directly on tvguidescounselor.com. Be here Wednesday for an all-new episode, and I will see you then on TV guidance counselor. [MUSIC PLAYING] Works in a pawn shop depressing enough. He's haunted by the Holocaust. Paint me a murder. I'm not gay. I like gay stuff. Just tell them the listeners what's going to happen after we return the recorder. There's a lot of stuff here.
