- Wait, you have a TV? - No, I don't like to read the TV guide. Read the TV guide, you don't need a TV guide. ♪ Double isn't a minute ♪ ♪ Double isn't a minute ♪ ♪ Double isn't a minute ♪ ♪ Ah ♪ (rock music) - Hello and welcome. It's Wednesday, which means it's time to talk once again about classic television utilizing TV guides as our ticket to the past. I am Ken Reed, your TV guidance counselor here once again and I wanna thank you for joining me and listening to the show. It's always a huge help. I would probably do the show without you, but it would be odd if I was the only one listening to my own voice with other people. I don't know if I said that right, but it would just be weird if you didn't listen. So thank you guys so much. My guest this week is a local guy here in Boston. His name is Anthony Sebelle. He is a very funny stand-up comedian and a very funny writer. He writes a lot of stuff for cracked.com. He wrote an excellent piece on penis-flavored wallpaper. You can Google him and find that. He's very funny guys, an interesting guy and I think you'll really enjoy this episode. So please enjoy this week's episode of TV guidance counselor with my guest, comedian Anthony Sebelle. (rock music) (rock music) - It is Mr. Anthony Sebelle. How are you, sir? - Good, how are you? - Good, how are you? - Thank you for having me. - Thank you for welcome to my home. Thanks for coming. - Yeah, thanks for coming. - This is exactly as I imagined your home would be. - That most people say that. - Yeah. - Most people say that. - You don't have to consult or complement. - Not at all. - Yeah, we eat a light bulb blowout, so hopefully we can be okay without that 'cause I only have five other light bulbs in this chandelier, so. - Yeah, it's a little dark for me personally. - Yeah, I can leave it. - I can light a fire. - I'll let that fire. - So, Anthony, you picked a TV guide from May 10th to the 16th, 1986. - 1986. - And the reason this is somewhat unusual is because this is before your birth. - It was, it was before I was born. - What year were you born? - I like to keep that a secret. - Do you wanna keep it a secret? - Yeah, do you wanna, do you wanna say, I mean, when I was born? - Well, we know it's after 1986. - Yeah, it was '87. - Well, why was that a secret? - I don't know. - I wanna sound younger than I am. - Do you wanna sound younger than you? - I was born in 1993. - Do you feel like there is a stigma against people who are too old? - I don't know. - I mean, let me put it this way to you, Anthony. I was born in 1980, so. If you think saying in 1987 makes it seem too old. - Yeah, I think about me. I know so many comics that are born, like in the early '90s and. - Oh, so you feel weird hanging out with young children? - Younger, yeah, people younger than me. - All right, well, they're not gonna listen to this. - Right. - They don't know how podcasts work. So, what drew you to this TV guide aside from the fact that it was from prior to yours? - Well, I had a couple of thoughts. I told you I've been overthinking this for a while. My original idea was to do the 1980 cover of John Lennon when he was killed. - Yes, 'cause you hated John Lennon. - Yeah, I just was waiting that out, even though it was seven years before it was born. - Right. - Just 'cause I thought that would be interesting, but I decided against that, ultimately. - It's a little grim. - It would be a dark one. It is Beatles Week 2. I don't know if we're supposed to say it when we're recording this. - No, these are timeless. - Yeah. - Yes, timeless. - Okay, so it could still be Beatles Week if they're still doing a Beatles Week. - For certain people, it's always Beatles Week. - Yeah. - So you'd be like, oh, it's Beatles Week. Why don't we start talking about the time that one of them was gunned down in the street by a bullet. - By a bullet. - Yeah. So you chose this because it wasn't John Lennon's death issue. - Correct. - Essentially. - I chose that one because of the cover. I love Cheers, and that has a Mad Magazine style Cheers drawing. - Yes, I believe this is a Jack Davis drawing. - Is it? - I believe it is. - Okay. - Of the Cheers Gang. - It's 1986. - It's very much like the Ellie Gould Long Goodbye poster. - Yes, which just came out on Blu-ray in the UK, which I highly recommend. - Yes. - One of my favorite Robert Altman movies. - I met Ellie Gould at the brattle at a screening of that. - Nice. Was he a cantankerous? - He was aloof. - Yeah, he was a little aloof. - He seems like he would be. He seems like he would be. - That's a great movie. - He's very much like the character in the movie. - Yeah, well, he was well cast. - Yeah. - Well cast. - Oh, yeah. - So let's start right in here, Saturday night as all good TV guys-- - Saturday night. - Saturday night. - Eight o'clock. - Can I say it? - I love the premise of this is that like if the guests are just watching TV every night of the week. - Yeah, well, that's what I did. Were there nights you, did you used to take nights off from television? - Well, how old am I supposed to? I'm, I fill this out as things I would want to watch as myself now. - Well, I would hope so, because if you tried to fill it out as things you would have watched from you at the time. - At the time. - One year as old. - Yeah. - You would have to have your dad on the podcast and you'd put the microphone up to his testicles, which would make for bad listening. No, no, nothing to disparage your dad. I just, I think it wouldn't, it wouldn't make for good radio. So this is obviously what you would watch now based on the TV guide. So what do you got at eight o'clock there? - Eight o'clock. I am watching great performances on PBS. - Oh, that is strange. - Yeah. - That is strange. - It is Jules Pfeiffer, the wonderful writer cartoonist. It's an autobiographical look at his life starring Charles Groden. - And what are some of the cartoons I may know him from? - Yeah, I'm a big cartooning and comic book nerd and I am unfamiliar with Charles Pfeiffer. - Jules Pfeiffer. - Jules Pfeiffer. - Really? - It's Charles Groden playing Jules Pfeiffer. - Jules Pfeiffer wrote a comics trip and I believe the village voice in the '60s. - Oh, it's a hippie thing. - He's a hippie thing. - Oh, no wonder I don't know anything about it. I completely shut out any of these. - That's too late for you. - It's not too, no, I just, any hippie, '70s. - I could, I'd come on a little more of a beatnik than a hippie. - But the beatniks were just well-dressed hippies. - He's probably, I'm gonna say best known for he did the cartoons in "The Phantom Toll Booth." - Okay, he didn't write them in "The Phantom Toll Booth." - Yeah, he did the cartoons in it. - All right, well that redeems him a little bit. - He's a playwright, he's written some movies. He was Will Eisner's assistant on the spirit. - Oh, okay, I love Will Eisner. Weirdly actually, in this issue of TV Guide, they showcased, and I don't know if you picked it, but there is a TV movie of the spirit that aired this week. - Oh, you're cheating. - It's very, very bad. - I didn't even see that. - Yeah, it's very bad. It was an attempt to have a spirit weekly series and it misses the spirit of the spirit. Even more than the film. - It's a bad movie, really. - It's, have you ever seen a trial of "The Incredible Hulk" where they introduce Daredevil? - I have it on DVD. - Yes, if you could imagine that production value and that take on the spirit, that's pretty much exactly what the spirit TV movie is. I have it, I can make you a copy if you'd like to see it sometime. - I might like that. - It was on around the same time that they made the Sable comic book adaption. - Okay, I'm of the indie comic. - Yeah, the '80s in comics is a big for me, I'm not. - Okay, 'cause you weren't born. - I wasn't born yet. - You're a '90s comic man, the lowest point in comics history? - I didn't start reading comic books 'til I was in high school. - So like-- - Wow, that's sort of opposite. - Yeah, so like early 2000s is when I got into like 2003 is maybe when I, really when the Spider-Man movie came out, it was like reading comics. - Interesting, the movie's got me into the-- - I think that's true, I mean one of the big things that fueled the, we're kinda getting off topic here and talking about comics, so everyone's tuned out, there's just this people throwing their computers out the window, like the opening of SCTV. But in 1989, when the Batman movie came out, that was one of the things that really fueled the '90s comic book. - Oh really? - It was sort of a perfect storm of that and the bottom falling out of the sports card market, so all those scum bags came into the comic books, then the flea market people came in and you got a lot of speculators, but the Batman movie coming out at that time was really one of the major factors. So I would imagine the Spider-Man movie coming out had a similar, I got in a fight with a 12 year old at the first Spider-Man movie. - Oh really? - It was really a fight, but I was on a date and he just wouldn't shut up and him and his friends were being annoying and I had to ask him to be quiet several times. - Yeah, can I tell you something? - Yeah, I've never told you this before, that was me. - Was that you? - Yes. - Will you've changed races in the last decade? - I had. - You were at the Assembly Square cinemas? - No, I saw it in a river of air. - Yeah, well, I've seen a lot of things in a river of air. So you've really thrown me for a loop here because I would have thought the first thing you would have picked was WSPK-TV38. I should mention we're using a Boston edition of the TV Guide. - I believe it's New Hampshire. - Is it New Hampshire? - Yeah. - Well they got a Boston station, TV38 and they were airing an all night 3D movie marathon. - Oh really? - Where you could get 3D glasses at store 24. This happened on a lot of UHF stations around this time. - Yeah. - TV38 did it very frequently but it was all over the country and they were airing Gorilla at large, Inferno and three three Stooges shorts in 3D. - Interesting. - And I remember, I distinctly remember watching that. It was a pretty fun night. So I would have been certain you would have gone with that. - Yeah, you know, I don't know if I noticed it was the three Stooges that saw the Inferno and that kind of turned me off. - Here's the thing, I don't like the three Stooges. - I'm not a huge Stooges fan but I would want to see them in 3D. - Yeah, I mean I'd pretty much watch anything. - I'd pretty much watch anything in 3D. One of my cousins at Thanksgiving once went into detail about a 3D pornographic film he saw in the theater. - Wonderful. - In the theater? - Yes, in the theater. - How else could you see it? - Called the three dimensions of Greta. But so that's what I would have picked this night. I think that was my pick but it ate normally on a Saturday in 1986. There's no question I would have watched give you a break. And this particular episode, while Nell dines in the town's new eatery, her purse disappears which leads to one of the managers losing his job. Doesn't really sell you on that one based on the-- - See, I saw Charles Groden and I immediately had to. That was what sold it for me. - See, I can't stand Charles Groden. - Oh really? - I just don't like it. - Have you seen the heartbreak kid? - I have. - Okay. - Little shepherds in the heartbreak. - Yes. - I was mostly paying attention to her. - Real life, the Albert Brooks movie. - Real life is good but he's not likable in it. I'm sure he's a fine guy but he gets someone on my nerves. - Yeah, well that's kind of his-- - That's just a thing. - He was stuck in trade. - You've seen when he hosted SNL? - Yes. - It's a very weird experimental episode. - And the incredible shrinking woman. - Oh that's right, that's right. - Also I should mention just in the fringes here, there was a new show at Jeffrey Tambor on called Mr. Sunshine, which is not a great show. He plays an angry blind man if you remember that. And that was not great but that was also on eight o'clock. So let's move on. - Okay. - Oh let me read the 3D marathon. So just so you know what you missed out on. - What I'm missing. - Five hours of 3D TV with two movies, episodes of three studios and locally produced comedies. Including Gorilla at large, a family carnival mystery melodrama with the usual quota of murders and violence and Inferno, a tale of murder and revenge with Robert Ryan. And then I like it as a little disclaimer here, it says, "To view in 3D, special glasses are required." - Yeah right, like wait. - So Gorilla at large is a comedy, right? - I guess it's called Gorilla at large. It does say that it's-- - Yeah it sounds. - There's murders in violence, I mean it's pretty funny. I've seen Gorilla at large, it's pretty boring. If I was gonna go with a 50s 3D movie, I'd probably go with The Mask. Which was somewhat boring but the freak out 3D scenes are pretty, pretty psychedelic. - Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with Top Banana. Oh wait, there wasn't 3D. Do you know that movie Top Banana? - Top Banana-- - I feel silver. - Fill Silver, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was based on the, they just shot the-- - The play, yeah. - The idea was they were gonna film it in 3D so it looked like a play when you went to see it. - But then they just shot the play. - Yeah, they just filmed the play. - Yeah, the budget got cut out of Fill Silver's. So 830, you didn't have to go with anything because-- - 'Cause it's a two hour movie. - 'Cause it's a two hour movie. But I should mention that at 825 on Channel 11 they showed, "Haley's Comet updates." - Okay, yeah, 'cause it's '86. - You might wanna watch that. But at 830, there's no question about it. I would've gone with the Facts of Life. This was a great episode. Natalie and 2D find their privacy, is that a premium, in their one bedroom apartment, which doubles as a roach resort. Good episode from season six. I was a big fan of that. Also, I'm surprised you passed up the BBC sci-fi drama, The Tripods. Are you familiar with The Tripods? - No, no. - It was very War of the World. - Yeah, I was gonna say 'cause that's the-- - It's based on the books. - Yeah. - Yep, there's a vagrant named Ozzymandius in it, so it's that kind of thing. Nine o'clock, what'd you go with? - For Saturday? - Saturday. - That's a two hour movie. - Oh, was it two hours? - It was an investment. - The great performances was two hours? - I looked through everything else because I wanted to see if there was something else I'd be interested in, and I don't know. It just felt like I've never heard of this Jules Pfeiffer. - Wow. - Play, so I didn't think there would ever be a chance to see the end. - 'Cause here's the thing. - I would've normally, on a Saturday night, I would've stuck it on NBC, I would've gone with Golden Girls, and then I would've gone with 227. - Yeah. - But this was a special night. At nine o'clock on ABC, we had Miss Hollywood 1986, a two hour special, hosted by Alan Thicke and Emma Sams. It was the second annual pageant, the second annual pageant of two. I don't think they ever did this again. Hell cast from Los Angeles, the original field of contestants from New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, Atlanta, and Dallas have been paired down to 25, who tonight Vi for the primarily talent competitions, then-- - Primarily the talent. - Primarily it says. - Yes, yes. - Five finalists are judged on acting scenes with Gordon Thomas of Dynasty. - And it was aired live. (laughing) - So that, I mean, I think you really missed out. - Well, yeah, still to rather go Jules Pfeiffer. - To more Jules Pfeiffer than Miss Hollywood 1986, you're a pretty girl, so there's only one Jules Pfeiffer. - Kind of a weird kid, Anthony. I will tell you that. So let's move on to Sunday night. What do you got at eight o'clock? - Eight o'clock, I'm watching amazing stories. - I think that's a good move. A show that I always was disappointed in, because it wasn't quite Twilight Zoney enough for me. It was very schmaltzy. - Yes. - And very Spielberg, yeah. - This particular episode, do you remember this one? - No, I didn't even read the description. - Okay, this one is the case of an elderly custodian who begins to pick up more than refuse in the classrooms. He cleans, is one for the books. He becomes fluent in French and knowledgeable about many scholarly subjects. - I have seen that one. - That's kind of a boring one. It's a classic old people do things, Spielberg thing. - Yeah, there's aliens involved too, right? - Did you ever see the Thanksgiving episode? - Refresh my memory. - They're out in the desert, and they keep putting food down into this hole in these some kind of creatures down there, eat it, and then put gold in the bucket. And as a thank you, and then, oh, I don't want to ruin it, but it's pretty terrifying. - It is, I mean, like you said, it's a show you're always a little disappointed in. - You want it to be a little scarier. - Yeah, I always watch it, and then I don't go back to it for a while, because it's not-- - You know, it was well done, in a large budget, in a good cast usually. But I always say it's sort of the equivalent of one of those scholastic book club spooky stories for children's books where you're like, oh, this is really scary. And then you get it, and you're kind of like, not really. I mean, it's not troll book club. It's at least scholastic level, but that's about it, I would say. - Have you seen the Joe Dante directed one with the, it's like a muppet monster that this-- - The aliens on vacation, that one? - No, oh, that's a very good one. Oh, you know what? - Okay, the ones where they get the-- - Sunglasses and the Hawaiian shirts, and they get the signal from TV signals? - Kid and built and burl. - Yes, yeah, yeah. - Okay. - Which he kind of reused for the explorers. - He wasn't involved in that, I don't think. I think that was a coincidence. - But I thought he was a producer on amazing stories. - I know he directed an episode. I don't know if he was a producer on it. - You know what's a great one, is the one with the mummy? - I don't know if it's-- - Oh, you should watch that one. That's a Halloween one. It's very good. - Scorsese directed an episode, since Caesar's in an episode of that. - I met Sid Caesar when I was two years old. - Oh, really? - Yeah, I somehow, and I don't remember this obviously, 'cause I was two years old. - Sure. - And I didn't start remembering stuff so I was two and a half when I saw Tron on ice. But I somehow found out that Sid Caesar was staying at a hotel and framing him mass. I don't know how I found this out. And I begged my parents to take me there to stick it out so I could meet him. - At two years old. - At two years old. - Yes, yes. And so I went and I met him and I have his autograph, which, you know, I'll, in the notes for this, I'll post a scan of the autograph inside for me. - I'm having, I believe all of your stories, I'm having a hard time. - You're having a hard time losing one? - I have the autograph. - I have the autograph. - Sid Caesar too. - Sid Caesar too. - Yeah. - When I was five, I'm a Jane Curtain. - I believe that a little bit more. - It's got Beo that year. - Yeah. - I'm a big hug. Yeah, but Sid Caesar, I'll show you the autograph. - Did you ask him about amazing stories? - I don't think I did. I don't remember what I talked to him about. I don't remember. But he signed it to us. - Probably before he did amazing stories. - He signed it in '83. - Yeah, he signed it to Kenneth. All my love, Sid Caesar. - Ah, wonderful. - I liked Mad Men, Mad Men World at that age. - Really? - That's the kind of weird little child that I was. So at 8.30, what'd you go with? - Amazing stories is an hour. - Is it? - Are you sure? No, Alfred Hitchcock Presents was the second half of that hour. - Oh really? - Amazing stories was only a half hour. They did air it as back-to-back hour-long episodes and syndication later. And sometimes would air it as TV movies that were four episodes, but it only aired a half hour most weeks. - Oh really? - Yeah, so this, I only did that 'cause it was under the impression of this in an hour. - You really didn't prepare correctly for this, Anthony. I'm highly offended. - I was, yeah. - As a service. - It aired back-to-back with Alfred Hitchcock Presents, which was not great. And those were almost always straight remakes of 1960s Alfred Hitchcock's episodes, which once it got off ABC, I mean NBC, it went over to the USA Network, so that tells you what kind of show that was. That probably would have been the only thing on at this time. Your only other really option at 8.30 was Mr. Red. - Yeah, I noticed that Mr. Red had time every night. - Always there. On Nicket Night, we always have Mr. Red. - Yeah. - That's amazing. It was a turn. - There was that much of a demand for Mr. Red in the 80s. - Well, no, when Nicket Night first started, which I believe was in 1985, they had a very limited number of shows. They pretty much had Donna Reed, My Three Sons, and Mr. Red, and that was more or less it. - Can I see something? - Yeah. - Did you find that before Wikipedia existed, people called you a lot more? - Absolutely. - Yeah. - Nobody calls me anymore. - Just to get a lot of phone calls, it would be like an ex-girlfriend I haven't talked to in eight years or like some kid I grew up with. I'd be like, "Good, how are you doing?" I'm like, "Good, how are you?" He's like, "Hey, a question for you. "What year did Nicket Night start?" - Yeah. - And they'd be like, "All right, bye." And then just hang out. - I used to get text messages like that. Like first year of college from like France and high school that were like, "Hey, what was Scrooge McDuck's body "to fill the helicopter?" - Yeah. - It was like Launchpad. - Yeah. I don't think people would-- - Before the internet, you were kind of the internet for the internet. - Yeah, I mean, people don't text me just 'cause I refuse to accept texts. - Yeah. - But I think I would probably get it as well. - I don't like it, yeah. - An old prick. Is that where you're gonna say it? - No, I was gonna say you're kind of like, do you know Ramblin' Jack Elliott, the folk singer? - I've heard of him. - He's like a collector of old folk songs. - Okay. - He's just this like knowledge. He's like a walking memory. - Like Ricky J is from magical techniques. - Yeah. You're kind of the like Ramblin' Jack Elliott - Okay. - 'Cause I Ramblin' or he doesn't accept texts. - What I find so interesting about like your stand up is that you know so much about pop culture stuff, but you almost never do jokes about it. It's all about your life. - No, it never comes into my stand at all. - Yeah, it's very impressive to me. - It is a lot of, it is, well, I think part of it is because I started in the UK when I first started. And so I felt like people wouldn't really know any references, so I kind of had to make it a little more universal and then it just kind of kept going down that path. But the other thing is I always feel like from now we're talking comedy show. - Yeah. - But I feel like from a comedy perspective, this sort of stuff that the reason people do it, I think is 'cause there's a universal shared experience. So it's good fodder for stuff 'cause people recognize it, but to me that's almost the reason I don't do it because I feel like almost every joke or angle you could take on it has already been done. - Sure, sure. - Very occasionally I'll do a reference, but almost never. - Yeah, no, I notice that. - Yeah, I don't really understand it either. - It's very strange. - So, were you gonna go ahead? - Before I met you. - Yes. - I had never known anyone who knew more about pop culture stuff than me, and you know more than I even knew existed. - Well, I'm a little older than you. - Yeah. - I've got a couple of years of experience on it. So here's the thing, I have more years alive without the internet than you do. - Sure, yeah. - I think that's what it is. - Yeah, 'cause you had to look up stuff. - That's how to make do, I had to make do, I had to just learn it. - I had a friend from college who told me he recorded one thing off of television ever in his life. - Okay. - I had to be adjusted. - What was it? - I was a movie or something that he wanted to see. - And he never recorded anything else? - No, and it just blew my mind. - That's a real shame. - Yeah. - I made my parents purchase a BCR top loader as a deal that I would go do T-Ball. So I basically said-- - Yeah, you told me this. - Yeah, I will play T-Ball, 'cause they wanna be to be social. I will play T-Ball if you buy a BCR and you record Saturday morning cartoons for me. - Yeah. - Which they did. I went for about maybe four games and then the coach called me, I forget what it was now, but I struck out. - It's a homophobic slur. - It was a homophobic slur. - How old are you? - That was five. I struck out in T-Ball, which admittedly is almost impressively difficult to do. And he called me a slur and so I ran over to him with the bat and I hit him in the balls. - Nice. - I said I'll hit a ball. - That would have done the same. - Yeah, and then they asked me not to come back. So I said, hey, now I have a VCR. - I went to, I think, one T-Ball practice. - Yeah. - And I thought this is-- - It's not fun. This isn't for me. - I'm like, I could be at home watching kid video right now. - Yeah. - And instead, I'm standing in a field watching parents yell at each other. - Over a few weeks later, I was at the park with my mother and we saw a bunch of older kids. I have five or six, like these sixth graders like playing baseball. - Yeah. - And she said, see if you had stuck with T-Ball. This kid would have been you right now. Isn't that like fun? - No, not at all. - You don't used to terrify me and I don't know where, no one ever told me this was a thing and I don't know where I got this. But I wouldn't go down the slide at the playground because I was convinced that at night, teenagers would come down there and piss on them so that they would just piss covered, just baking in the sun, piss covered slides. And then they would like hide in the bushes and watch little kids slide down these piss slides. - That they would stay? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That was just for the joy of-- - That was this weird paranoid. - I don't think I'll ever go down a slide again. - No, no. 'Cause why wouldn't you do that if you were a teenager? - Right, yeah. - So at nine o'clock, oh, as I was saying, so Nick at night started about '85. They didn't have a lot of programming and they had one original program called Mad Movies that was the Los Angeles Connection, which was an improv group in Los Angeles, and they would redub public domain movies. So they would do all new voices for Night of the Dead and something like that. - That's kind of awesome. - That's one of the Shirley Temple movies. I have a bunch of episodes of that if you ever wanna check it out. - It's funny. - It's pretty funny. I remember the Night of Living Dead one was very funny. I loved it at the time. So an '87 is when they really started to get a lot more shows and they made a big deal out of it. That's when they got classic SNL. That's when they got SCTV. - Oh, I don't even remember-- - That's when they got, yep, Blaffin'. They got Car 54 Marari, which is one of my favorite sitcoms. - Oh really, I really like that show. - That show is one of the biggest influences on modern television and it's unheralded as such. - Okay, yeah. - I think that Larry David is more influenced by Car 54 Marari than any other show I can possibly imagine. - Interesting. - I can make a strong argument for you. - Yeah. - I'll get the whiteboard out. So at nine o'clock, what'd you go with? - First is millions. - Yeah, I think that was a good move. Nine o'clock that night, it was not a very good collection. - I noticed it's May and yet Nick at night is playing "It's a Wonderful Life." - They were. Donna Reed was extremely popular on Nick at night. So the Donna Reed show aired in four hour blocks and college kids started watching it. I don't know this for sure but I'm certain they had drinking games around Donna Reed. She became sort of a cult icon for Nick at night at the time. So I believe they were airing "It's a Wonderful Life" just for the Donna Reed content because it was public domain at the time and they could get more Donna Reed in there. So that was on at Nick at night. I think I would have gone with "It's a Living" which was on a TV theater. I loved that show. - For some reason with me, the '80s are kind of a blind spot when it comes to TV. I don't know why that is. - You know what the reason probably is? You weren't born for most of it. - Right. Well here's my, well here's my, 'cause I know a lot about '50s and '60s and a little bit '70s and I think because when I was a kid that was like really old stuff, it was neat. - I think the generation just before yours is always sort of off-putting. Like I absolutely hated the '70s and especially like '19, yeah, no I'm pretty much in all the '70s. It was very, very, I would just like, and I love the '40s and the '50s and the early '60s, but like late '60s and into the '70s as we discussed in the beginning when my version of "Hippies" absolutely hated. So I think there's sort of like a weird natural cultural inclination to sort of reject the popular culture from immediately before your birth. I don't, I'm sure someone's written a psychological study on that somewhere. So I think that makes sense. - We could do this tonight, we could cancel this part. - Yeah, we could write this. We could both get doctorates by tomorrow morning. That's how it works, right? - So "It's a Living" was a pretty mediocre show about waitresses that worked in the restaurant at the top of the Bonaventure Hotel in Los Angeles, which I've gone and stayed at, mostly just because "It's a Living" took place there as well as the movie "Midnight Madness", which is one of my all-time favorites. But I have many photographs of me recreating scenes from "It's a Living". - It's not a spinoff of "The Flintstones". - It wasn't. - Based on their toaster. - No, it was, it's a living. It was actually originally called "Making a Living", and it was on ABC in 1982. And it was canceled, excuse me, after one season, and then it came back two years later in first-run syndication for another four seasons with a new cast, including Crystal Bernard of "Slumber Party Massacre 2" fame. You may also know her from Wings in her right-wing conservative views. And then at 9.30, this show, I absolutely love this show, and I've spent years trying to find episodes of this, and I only have about two episodes, and everyone made fun of me for watching this show. It was called "Fight Back" with David Horowitz. And it was a consumer protection show, and he would tell you about rip-offs. And so in this episode, four products are challenged, including a sonic bug killer and an inflatable car jack, also charging devices for car batteries. So it was almost like consumer reports, or like he would go out and do stings on scam artists. I remember when you know how on the back of Levi's jeans on the tag, it shows the two horses tearing them apart. - Yeah, yeah. - They didn't rip. They did that. So it was almost like really busters. They had two horses and a pair of jeans to see if they would rip. It was great. - Did it rip? - I did rip, yeah. - Yeah, I would think so. - But it held up for quite a while. And he would also do things like, he would order things out of the back of comic books, and then show you what you actually got so that people wouldn't get ripped off. "Fight Back" with David Horowitz. What a great show. - They used to kill people by doing that with them with horses. - Make them watch "Fight Back" with David Horowitz. - Yeah, they'd be drawn in quarters. - Yeah, so I would think the jeans wouldn't stand a chance. - Well. - If it's like a human body. - If you get some good Levi's, I mean, they're not tough skins. - Right. - Or lee jeans, those aren't going anywhere. All right, on to Monday night. - Monday night. - The saddest night of the week. - This is the point where I realized that like when I said, mine is gonna be unusual. - Yeah. - This is the point where I was like, all right, there's no going back. - Well, here's, so I'm gonna tell you this right now. I have a pretty solid at least hour every Monday night on CBS that everyone picks, and if you don't pick it, I'll be surprised. - Yeah, you're gonna be surprised. - Let's see what you went with. - NBC's 60th anniversary. - Wow. - Yeah. - Wow. - I'm drawn to that stuff. - You like old revivalist stuff. But this is pretty good, I'll tell you that. There's a two page spread in here, and there's just a cavalcade of stars. - It's great. - It's actually three pages. - Angie Dickinson, you know, right prominently featured Lamb Chop, I mean, who wouldn't watch this? - Go back to that, 'cause it's got grout shows on there, Steve Allen. - Steve Allen, who I never liked. - Really? - Never liked Steve Allen. - It seemed like a prick, kind of a prick. Karl Reiner, Jonathan Winters, Betty White. - Look how old Karl Reiner looks in that photo. - Yeah, well, he's very old. - 30 years ago, yeah. - There's a certain age you get to about age 60 where you just kind of stay there. - Yeah, you just hold forever. - Yeah, that's the thing, you're old. - It's like, Ibogoda is the oldest person in the godfather. - Yeah. - And then when we came out-- - He's still the oldest person in the godfather, yeah. The funniest thing here is that everyone's in tuxedos, except Don Johnson, who's wearing the whites. - Oh, sure, yeah, yeah. - It's a spectacular, spectacular three hour look at the history of NBC. - You know what's amazing is I associate NBC with Seinfeld. - This was before Seinfeld. - So this was when NBC, and I've talked about this in the podcast before, but NBC was dead last out of the three networks, until 1986. And it was mostly, Cosby was a big factor, but also Miami Vice, and then people started watching Cheers and Alf and all the other shows, and it was all Brendan Tardikoff, who I think at the time, was the youngest network president ever. And so they let him pretty much say, you know, we're about to close up shop, do whatever you want, and he almost single handedly brought that network back up. With a few missteps, including misfits of science, man-able and auto man, but there was some good stuff there too. I actually like all those shows, but yeah, this was a three hour tribute to NBC by NBC, which is always entertaining. I'll read you the right up here. The proud peacock struts its stuff with a star filled salute to six decades of radio and television broadcasting. I will say, I think they're cheating a little bit by it. - 60. - Including the radio years. But fair enough, live TV is celebrated, highlights from Milton Burrell's Texaco star theater. I do hate Milton Burrell. - I kind of do. - Does anyone like Milton Burrell? He seems like such an asshole, and he was never funny. - You've seen when he hosted SNL. - Yeah, it's a little like a lot. - He was like, you never funny. - It's like "Crusty the Clown." - It's really bad. - It's like for if people listening have not seen it, he does the monologue, which is like his act. It's a little racist. I mean, it's- - It's got a lot racist. You know he was a hateful old man. - I can imagine. So someone on a screen like a producer starts talking to him, and you can't hear them, and you can hear him. You skip the mic, he goes, what? What's that? I'm on a time. I'm just getting started, can I? - Yeah. - Okay. And he pretends to be sad. As they're fading to commercial, he turns around and starts yelling at the band. - Yeah, he's an asshole. - You can hear him's like never in my life. - Yeah. - As it fades to commercial. - Can you imagine seeing that live? It fades to commercial as he's like tearing apart the band? - Here's the most redeeming thing about Milton Burrell. The single most redeeming thing. His nephew was in the band- - Rat. - Yeah. - And he's in the video. - And he's in the video. - Awful. That's the single most redeeming thing about Milton Burrell. - His nephew was the manager. - Oh, he's the manager. - Yeah. - Even better. He couldn't even play round and round. So I may have watched the NBC 60th anniversary, which I do actually have on DVD if you find a copy of it. I do. My favorite thing about it is that the opening segment, they intro every single person that's gonna be on the show, and I timed it with my wife, 'cause this is what we shared. - Sure, yeah. - Six full minutes of just names. Just names for six full minutes, it's great. - Wow. - Did you think Sherry Lewis is kind of hot? - As a kid or no? - When she was a kid? (laughing) That's pretty, that's not what I was asking. Just in general, especially when she was younger, I find her weirdly attracted. - Yeah, maybe. I haven't really thought about her in a long time. - I mean, she's deceased now. - She is. - And I wouldn't be into it if the puppet was involved. - Okay, well, also I wouldn't be into it now, because she's dead. - Yeah, that's what I thought you were gonna say. - You look up Sherry Lewis in the '50s, and wow. - I heard a story about, in the '50s. - Yeah. - Okay, I am. - The '60s, she looked good in the '60s. - She died when I was a little kid. I'm now really young. - I don't think it was your fault. You don't need an alibi. You said that like you're like, "Look, I was a little kid when she died." I had nothing to do with it. Yeah, but you look her up. You can find some footage online, I'm sure. - I heard a story about her and the Larry Sanders Show. - Okay, no. - You know this, which we were supposed to be on. I think they tell it on the DVD. - Okay. - And she wanted a plane ticket for a lamb chop too. - Yeah, fair enough. - And they refused, so she was never on the show. - That's a shame. She would've been good on that. She was funny. She was very innovative. - She tried that she was innovative. - She doesn't get enough credit for being a sort of television pioneer. - Yeah, there aren't that many famous puppeteers. There's not a lot of famous, attractive female puppeteers. - Right, it's pretty much her and... - Just her. - Yeah, I was gonna say Madam, but that was a guy puppeteer. - Madam was definitely a guy. - Yeah, the guy, yeah. - Whaling flowers. - Okay. - That was his name. - Yeah, I only know him through parody. - He was a very feminine man, but he was a man. - Okay. - So I would've gone, as my second choice here, with Bachelor Party on HBO, Tom Hanks's finest role. - Yeah. - I don't know if it was Tom Hanks's finest role, but it's Adrian Zamed's finest role. - Okay. - Have you ever seen Bachelor Party? - I have not. It's a movie. - It's a movie. It was the kind of the first movie Tom Hanks did. It was when he was in sort of bosom buddies. Actually, the first movie he did was a horror movie called He Knows You're Alone, where he was murdered. But he was, oh no, was it He Knows You're Alone or Don't Answer the Phone? It was, I think it was He Knows You're Alone, but Bachelor Party was kind of his first starring role. That I remember at least. And it's about a Bachelor Party. And it was directed by the guy who went on to direct Revenge of the Nerds the next year. It was filmed mostly in the Millennium Biltmore Hotel, or as my second favorite hotel to stay out in Los Angeles, because they filmed Bachelor Party there. - I think I can imagine exactly what that movie's like, just based on your description, right? - Yeah, it's got to, I feel like I've seen it already. - Title song by Ungo Boingo. - Yep. - Yep. - It's a pretty good movie for that guy. - Monique Gabrielle. He married Brenda Bridget Fonda. - I'm talking about Danny Elfman. - Yeah. - He did? - Yeah. - They did not know that. - He also is a pretty successful composer. - Okay. - Yeah, but I heard of some of his work. Once you marry Bridget Fonda, you don't leave your house again. - You're a Jenna Elfman fan? - Oh yeah, I like Jenna Elfman. She's a huge Scientologist, but-- - Oh, she, I didn't know that. - Yeah. - She married-- - His nephew, right? - His nephew, right. Richard Elfman's son, Bodie Elfman. Do you think anyone's still listening to us? - No, once we started mentioning Richard Elfman. Richard Elfman, who I recently became Facebook friends with. - Is that true? - That is true. - Interesting. - Also directed for "Biden Zone," one of my favorite movies. - I heard when Facebook started, I would look up like famous people and they would have, I remember, well, not like people in various levels. - Sherry Lewis. - Of fame. - So you'd look up lamb chop, but not Sherry Lewis. That's what you said. - To see if she had a Facebook. - Yeah. - I looked up Maurice Lamart, the voice actor. - Yes. - He had two Facebook pages. - Yeah. - And four fan pages. - Right, right. - One of them said, you know, this is my private page. Only friends and family should protect me on this. I have another one for fans. - And you contacted him on the friends and family one? - I chickened out. I didn't contact him on either. - He's in one of my favorite facts of life episodes. - Oh, is that right? Live action? - Yes. - Have you seen his stand-up? - Yes, it's good. - It's mostly in sections. - It's the impressions, yeah. - But it was called "Seven Little Indians." - Okay. - It was from season seven, and it's a dream episode, but you don't know that 'til the end. He plays Rod Serling in it, and he keeps coming in. He keeps repeating the word "tootie." It's great, and there's a line where he's like, "You probably don't know who I am. "You're probably too young. "Well, I don't know who you are, and now we're even." It's very funny. That's a very funny episode. I highly recommend it. "Seven Little Indians" from Facts of Life. You can probably find it on YouTube, or just ask me. So I would've gone with that for the first hour, because that's when most of the nudity is from Monique Gabrielle. But then at nine o'clock, I absolutely would've gone with Kate and Allie, one of my all-time favorite shows. What a great show. This one Kate tries to be a good sport when Max's young girlfriend Darla treats Emma to a whirlwind of glamorous activities. So this is Kate's ex-husband, who is an actor. He has an actress, new young actress, girlfriend, and she is all Hollywood. She takes the daughter out to New York clubs in Studio 54. That's a pretty good episode. And it ends in a way that's unexpected. It's very well written. And then at nine 30, no question, Newhart, Newhart. That was the one that is-- Honestly, that was why I chose a TV guy from the '80s, because I wanted to watch Newhart. And then you didn't-- And then I didn't make it. And this is a good one, too. This is when Michael and Stephanie are going to get married and make them sign a prenup. Yeah. I've seen that one. "Season 2 of Newhart" just came out on DVD this week. Really? I had it anyway, but I purchased it as well. "Newhart" is better than the "Bub Newhart" show, which is-- Absolutely. I like the "Bub Newhart" show, but "Newhart" is hands down better than "Bub Newhart" show. It was such a weirder show. It had a lot more depth to it. It was a great, great show. Yeah. "Tuesday night, 8 o'clock, where you at." OK, this is when I decided to sit. I didn't get all hip hop on that. Anthony, where you at? OK. This is where I realized like there's no going back. I'm doing a weird one. Nova? I'm watching Nova inside the-- Yeah. All right, but this isn't that weird. Now, normally, first of all, we'll say this. You're not the first person who's picked Nova on this podcast. I like Nova. I like Nova. I thought it was kind of interesting. I told this story before, but they produced Nova in Watertown Mass, or they used to. And I worked for a company that later fired me. But I worked for this company that was in the same building as the Nova production company and a urinated next to Ellen Aldo in the bathroom. I didn't just walk into their office, but it was in the same-- we were in the men's room. We shared. We shared. Oh, that's awesome. But this episode of Nova is kind of cheating, because this is a very pop part Nova. So the tricks filmmakers use to produce the magic of special effects for movies like "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" and "Return of the Jedi" are revealed in this 1985 visit to George Lucas' industrial light and magic. That's an atypical episode. Yeah, it's not the-- That's a ratings grab. So you passed up on the A-team. This was sort of midway through the A-team's run. This one was a pretty big episode, though. General Fulbright persuades the guys who return to Vietnam with him on the pretext of finding the one man who can clear their name. This is when Tia Correira guest starred on the show, playing the character Tia. How old is she, then? She's-- She's up there. She was in the next year after this movie. She starred in her first movie, which was "Zombie Nightmare" with Adam West. Yeah, excellent. Yeah, so she's-- Well, I mean, Waze World was only in 1991. So it was only six years after this. OK, you sure right. Yeah, she always seems really young, even like when she's on TV. Oh, she's Asian. Yeah, she's in "Good Shape." She looks great, yeah. So you could have gone with that. I most likely would have gone with "Who's the Boss," even though I did not like the show. I watched it every week, but this episode is a special episode. A very special episode? Not a very special episode, but a special episode to me. Speaking of bosom buddies, this episode guest star Donna Dixon. OK, excellent. Also known as Mrs. Dan Aykroyd. Oh, oh, oh, oh, OK, all right. She's inspired like us and I believe Dr. Detroit. Angela thinks she's hired the perfect model for a client until the client sees a gorgeous blonde named Lauren, obviously played by Donna Dixon. Fran Drescher is also in this episode. In an episode, yes. I met Dan Aykroyd at Cappy's Lickers in Malden. What? Yes, he was-- What year is this? About four years ago, five years ago. That recently? Yeah, I have a photo of he and I. He was selling his alcohol that he makes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he's the only one there. I talked to him for almost an hour. Right. And I don't even remember how this came up. OK, but you knew he was going to be there, right? Yeah, it was near my work. So I saw that a sign said Dan Aykroyd. And I went, is that the Dan Aykroyd? I go, I'll go by, I'll check it out tomorrow. And it was him. He was just there, sitting there. And the only people in there were people who would go to Cappy's Lickers at 2 o'clock on a Tuesday. So I went in there, I talked to him for a long time. He mentioned his wife at one point. And then out of reflex, I went, oh, Donna Dixon, which is the creepiest, most inappropriate thing you could say. And I embarrassed myself saying it. And then he goes, still looks great. And I went, I bet she does. I bet she does. I think my favorite description ever that you've had of a woman. I think we were talking in you, like Google Chat. Yeah. And you mentioned an actress. I forget who it was. And you wrote Booyoyoing. Yeah, Booyoyoing. Yeah. That's my catchphrase, man. If there's an actress that I like, it's Booyoyoing. That would be my-- Four years ago. He was in Cappy's in Maldives, which is walking distance from my house. Yeah, I could show you the picture. We're hanging out. He's got his armor on me. We chatted about neighbors. Really? The movie, not the Australian soap opera. Yeah, the recent movie, Neighbors, with Zac Efron. Yes, the Zac Efron. No. Is there one that he stars in with John Belushi? Yeah, is it Belushi's last film? No, I think Belushi's last film was in 1941, wasn't it? I believe that was one of his firsts. I thought that was 1981. I might be wrong. I don't know. Neighbors is up there. I know that Larry Gilbert wrote Neighbors. Yeah, it's a great movie. And they switched roles halfway through the movie. Really? Yeah, so Belushi plays the straight role, and Accra plays the weirdo, which actually is a lot better casting. Yeah. And he told me all about it. Wow. They drove the director insane. They switched roles halfway through. And the whole soundtrack is only sort of '50s sci-fi movies to soundtrack music, which is weird for a comic. It's a-- you love Neighbors. I'm surprised you've never seen it. Yeah, I've heard of it. It makes a great-- And I hear Larry Gilbert wrote it. It makes a great double feature with the Berbs. Joe Dante's the Berbs. OK, yeah. Which you also never saw. I have not seen it now. You'll have to come over some night. We'll get some pizza, watch the Berbs and Neighbors, or just do it on your own, and then tell me about it. Do I have to get the pizza, too? Yeah. You have to get the pizza. The pizza is key. It's part of the-- It's key. You need two pizzas, two different pizzas, one for each movie. One for each movie. So the Berbs and Neighbors do it. And then you can go-- at least I didn't say it in Android. Donna Dixon. Oh, yeah. You're going. Is this podcast the most-- this one that we're recording right now, the esoteric of the ones that you've done? No. No, not remotely. OK. Was that your goal? No, it wasn't. Yeah. This is more of the more accessible ones. Great. Yeah, great. It's in my madness. So also, I'll mention this. It's at 10 o'clock, so I'm just skipping ahead an hour just because it's highlighted in the close-up and the TV guide here. A musical comedy rump starring Jill Piscopo is on that night, and the photo they've used is him playing both Fred and Barney Rubble. Yes. A special headliner, Piscopo, Jersey boy, clowning, singing, impersonating, Jersey theme, guest stars, one hour, highlights follow. They've written this in the style of Joe Piscopo's awful sportscaster character from SNL. I don't even remember that character. It was awful. And my knowledge of SNL is not pre-1990s, not great. No, there was some great stuff. No, I'm saying my knowledge of it is not great. Oh, your knowledge of it is not great. I have a pretty encyclopedic knowledge of SNL up until about the year 2000, but especially 1980s, 1990s. I liked some stuff from '80 to '85, but about '85 to '90 was that I've the best knowledge of. There's some good stuff there. All this stuff. That amazing stuff. Yeah. Even the non-Loren Michaels years had some interesting things. Yes. I noticed that in the '80s, it felt like they had Sam Kinison on all the time. It was only on twice. Really? Yeah. And one of the episodes was never re-aired. Interesting. Which it was, but that's what they say. So 8.30, you don't have anything because you're still watching. You're still watching and enjoying Nova. Still enjoying it. Finding out the secrets behind the return of the Jedi. Yes. Here's the secrets. It's not good. I never liked Star Wars, and I think I've probably told you the story on the floor. I went to go see return of the Jedi first. Yeah, I started in 1983. My mother, that's when it came out, I believe. My mother dropped me and my uncle off. My uncle's only nine years older than me because my mother's from my family of nine kids or something, and so he was probably about 12, and I was three. She gave us 20 bucks, which was a lot of money in 1983. We bought two tickets for a matinee, which was like $3, and we bought the rest of the, we used the rest of the money to buy snacks, so about $18 worth of snacks in 1983. And I ate all $18 worth of snacks in about 15 minutes. And so I was very small because I was three. Yeah. That's how those three-year-olds are small. So it was probably about half my body weight and snacks, so I wasn't feeling great. As soon as the movie starts, I panicked, I ran to the front of the theater, and I projectile vomited. All over the screen. Next one. I always say it's my first movie review, but they had to stop the movie and you couldn't call my mother to come pick us up, so we had to sit there for two hours while everyone who missed the movie yelled at us and scowled at us and had to wait until the next screening. Yeah. And everyone star was for you. That's the secret of Return of the Jedi. I think that's what that Nova is about. Do you think it would have been better had Spielberg directed it? No. Which is the... It would have been better if David Lynch directed it. He was, yeah. They offered it to him. They offered it to Spielberg, too. Yeah. I don't like Spielberg very much. Really? Not a huge Spielberg fan. Okay. I don't even dislike him. He's just not my thing. Right. I like Jaws. You know, I've never seen Jaws. You've never seen Jaws? I have not. No. What have you been doing? I've been carefully avoiding it. Why? It's work to avoid it. I don't know. It's a great movie. You know, it's just never come up for me to watch, and I'm this age now. I saw Jaws on a raft in a pool projected... In Martha's Vineyard. Not in Martha's Vineyard. Connecticut at this really weird camp, which I don't have time to get into, but someday I'll tell the story of this camp, because there were clowns involved. It was very weird. But yeah, sitting in a raft in a pool with it projected on the wall, watching Jaws was pretty fantastic. You have to see Jaws, man. Yeah, I guess. It's a great movie. Wow. I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that and move on to what I'd watch at 8.30, which was growing pains. One of my all-time favorite sitcoms. This is a season two episode. I'm a season three, season four guy. But Mike is afraid to sleep after having a nightmare about his favorite uncle played by James Callahan, who later played the grandfather on Charles in Charge, who recently died. This is a really weird episode and is the first place I ever heard of buttermilk. And if anyone's ever seen that episode, they'll know why. They can call in. Yeah. They can call in. We'll take call in. But nine o'clock, what do you got? Another unusual choice. I'm going to watch Superstar Show, which is profiling Bob Dylan that night. I don't know what Superstar Show-- I don't know what Superstar Show-- I don't know what that show is. It's a profile of Bob Dylan. Yeah. But it's a show that's on every night because I'm going to watch it tomorrow night. It's a syndicated show. Okay. It's on a UHF station, TV66. And it's of a Bob Dylan, which I would say 86 is probably his nadear, the word for the lowest point. To me, it's all low point for Bob Dylan. Well, you don't like the '60s. I'm not a fan of Bob Dylan. Not a fan at all. I'm a big fan of Bob Dylan. Yeah. I don't see it. What do you like about Bob Dylan? I recognize that people enjoy him, but I can't listen to his music. No, I read-- what is-- oh, man, I'm playing on his name now. Franklin-- A Jai? A Jai. I read his book on Stand Up. Don't do that. Franklin and Jai's book on Stand Up. Do you don't like it? No. Franklin and Jai? Do you know-- I think he's funny. He is. Not funny. Have you ever seen Stuart Lee's takedown of Franklin and Jai? I have. You should watch it. I've seen Stuart Lee take down people. I don't know if I've seen-- Oh, you should see Stuart Lee talking about-- Franklin and Jai's jazz comedian LP. It's one of my favorites-- Oh, I have seen that clip, but he's never listened to it. No. He takes down the cover. He should. I never liked Franklin and Jai's stand up comedy. I will say that. And I don't like people who read books on how to do this. You burn in some bridges here. It's the book of interviews. It's not a book on its-- Presents it like it's an instructional book. He taught a class, and those were like his notes for-- Strike one. OK. All right. Well, I can tell you this. I can tell you this. I don't know that I've followed any of the advice in the book, although I have read it. Fair enough. Was it chapter one? Never see Jaws. Does he talk about Bob Dylan and Franklin and Jai's book? Well, he talks about how he feels that all performing arts are related, so you can take influences from really any performing artist and consider them an influence as a comedian. But isn't that incest? And if all the performing arts are related-- Are related. And you start mixing them. Well, they're not sleeping together. They're-- Well, that could be a performing art. OK. They have live sex shows. Yeah. In 3D. Yeah. Three dimensions of Greta. But I noticed that Dylan was, to me, very similar to all of my favorite comedians. He was this kind of older, grumpy, Jewish guy. So who were your favorite comedians that you would equate to being similar to Dylan? Milton Burrell. Milton Burrell. I think Larry David. OK. Woody Allen. OK. See, I don't think Larry David and Woody Allen are similar in any way. They're similar in some ways. You know what I think the big difference is? I mean, if you know about, like, improv when you play, like, the higher status, low status. Right. So, I mean, the big difference is like Larry David plays high status, what he plays low. Right. It is one of the big differences. Both of them. A lot of people don't know this. Yeah. They're both Jewish. Is it true? Yeah, absolutely. Interesting. Interesting. Yeah. Absolutely. So Bob Dylan reminds you of your favorite comedians, just 'cause the whole-- In the sense that he's grumpy, he's kind of mean. What about Jacob Dylan, the front man of the wall flowers? I'm filming with Jacob Dylan. You know, Bob Dylan, they don't know how many kids he has. That's revolting. He may have as many as 10. That's revolting. He has a secret. He has a daughter who is 26 or 27. But she's a looker. Was it harder? Yeah. You're being very mean. I don't know. I don't like Bob Dylan. His wife-- I've seen photos of her. She's very pretty. Are you Facebook friends with her? I am not Facebook friends, although I did find her Twitter. Ooh. Uh, Bob Dylan has a daughter who is black. Really? Yeah. You said that like I was going to be offended. No, but you-- You said like I was going to be like, "What? Why am I going to pause this podcast for a while and go run around and tell the neighbors? Dylan, pause it a black child." I just thought you'd be surprised, 'cause he was married twice. Well, his second wife was a secret to the-- He never-- To him? To-- To her? Woke up one day. I think everything is a secret to Bob Dylan. That's probably true. He's very out of it. Screaming Jay Hawkins. Yeah. It's a 60 children. 60. Yes. That's what they thought. He died of multiple organ failure. Yeah. I thought you were just saying multiple organ. He died of multiple orgasms. Uh, yes. I'm sure. Okay. You know the story of the guy from "Three Dog Night," right? That he's terrible? His penis split in half. No, I-- I try to avoid things about "Three Dog Night." That's the only thing I know about him. He was-- Did he refer to his penis as Jeremiah? The-- is that what that song's about? Because he-- that would make sense. Was he good for-- he never understood a single word he said. No, he wouldn't if he was split in half. It would be he'd probably have a speech impediment. He claims it was from too much sex. No. I don't think that-- That's possible. It was probably from "Snoting cocaine." Yeah. That's what it was. It was a-- there's what I read online. I read this online. It was a combination. Although, I hate to interrupt you, but you spend time Googling what happened to the guy from "Three Dog Night" penis? You know, it's one of those things I don't know where I heard it first. But I-- I don't think it was on the schoolyard. You were about "Three Dog Night" man 65 years ago. Yeah. Well, yeah. I was playing T-ball. All the kids were talking about it. It was the hottest thing. Yeah. Did you read Pam Greer's autobiography? No. I have it. I should loan it to you. I referenced this many times, but in my dining room here, I have the wall of celebrity autobiographies. These are-- These are all celebrity-- Does that even look close? Many of them are. They were at one point. Half of them are now, but I do have-- No, yeah. That's what we call it. Tim Allen's up there. Yes, I do. Deltaburks is up there. But-- That's an interrupt you, to interrupt you. Do you think that Tim Allen's character in "Home Improvement" may have just had Tourette's? And that's why he was barking-- That was the-- Yeah. Yeah. Why? Remember how we laughing at that garbage was? Actually, here's the thing. If he had Tourette's, aren't you going to feel better at laughing at him every time you fit? No. No. Yeah. I would feel better about it because he built a career on it. I worked with a guy who had Tourette's. Yeah. He didn't know it. And his tip was he would say, "Yup, yup," at the end of every sentence. Yeah. So he would come in and be like, "Is there any mail for me, yup, yup?" And so everybody at work behind his back called him "yup, yup." And so one day I said, "Do you know you say yup, yup?" At the end of everything you say, and he went, "What are you talking about, yup, yup?" And then he went to the doctor, and the doctor said he had Tourette's. And he thanked me. Wow. He wrote me a thank you letter thanking me for pointing that out to him. That's a very nice story. And Pam Greer's autobiography, she talks about when she dated Richard Pryor. And she went to the doctor with some problems with her under parts. And the doctor determined that it was full of cocaine, and he said that your boyfriend's probably using cocaine to numb his penis to last longer in bed. And you really need him to stop doing that. Nice. Yeah. It's quite a revelation. Um, Wes Hazard told me about... Comedian Wes Hazard. Comedian Wes Hazard, uh, told me about Pryor's autobiography. Have you read it? Yeah, I have. I mean, he dated a woman who had a penis. Yeah. Many of us have. He didn't know until, like, the second time of this. Sure. No. But when he found out, he kept dating her. Yeah, that's fine. He grew up... The man grew up in a whorehouse. But nobody talked about that. Wow. Like he... Why would you? It's his business. But he wrote about it in his autobiography. Little Richard's had a whole wall of them. No one is reading these. Little Richard's autobiography has a chapter that opens with the sentence, "In 1941 I sucked my first dick." No one mentions that. I don't think that's a big secret. Well, no. I remember an interview with him where he was talking about how he used to hire people to, quote, "eat his titties," which was great. I won't mention, we're still only on Tuesday night. This is going to be the longest podcast we've done yet. Oh, by far, we don't have to, but this might be a two part. So at nine o'clock, Tuesday night, what do you go with? I'm watching Superstar Show Profiling BuckDowning. That's right. And I, that's when we started 25 minutes ago, I am going to go with moonlighting, which is nowhere with moonlighting. Moonlighting. And also, Frontline was on PBS that night as a companion piece to Nova, the people who make Hollywood dreams come true are profiled, and a show examining how movies are made in modern Hollywood. It says really interesting. Do you have a book on Colcek? I do have a little one to Colcek the Night Stalker, yes. Did you know that there was a book on Colcek the Night Stalker? I did not know there was a book. Yeah, of course. That's a great book about Colcek the Night Stalker. Great. Colcek, yeah. It just cut my eyes. I also have William Castle's book over here. Oh, really? His autobiography. I mentioned that must be interesting. His autobiography is called Step Right Up. Let me scare the pants off you, America. Wednesday night. America. Eight o'clock, yeah. He didn't get into Europe. Yeah. What do you got? I'm going to go for this one. I'm going to go with My Three Suns. You went with Nick at Night? Yeah, Nick at Night. Never liked My Three Suns. I've never seen it. It's not a curious thing. It was on a long time. It was one of those shows that started in black and white and ended in color. That's how long it was on. But I would have gone-- Like the Flintstones. Exactly. They smoked their way into color. And I would have gone with Thief, the Michael Mann movie, was in WOVF 56, was edited for TV, was a good show. Your only other options were Highway to Heaven, which is an awful depressing show, but did have a special episode that night starring Peter Billingsley, Ralphie from the Christmas story. Oh, really? That's a complex show. Was it in that episode? Yeah. It's a Western Highway to Heaven? Yeah. No, you've never seen Highway to Heaven? Is truckers? OK. That's what it's about. OK. And in every episode, he helps people, along with his non-angel buddy, Victor French, who plays Mark. And this episode says-- this actually sounds pretty cool, I will say this, but it's a disfigured artist considered a monster by the townboat finds love with a blind girl. It's not over yet, though. That's the A story. You ready for the B story? Yeah. Quadriplegic, lawyer, won't admit to his marital problems. This is all one episode. You know what? I'm changing my face. A quadriplegic won't admit to his marital problems. He's a quadriplegic lawyer, which I don't know if that means he's quadriplegic and a lawyer, or he only defends quadriplegics, either way, he's got marital problems. And there's a character played by Burr de Benning, who the character name is Thrasher. So I don't know-- I've never seen this episode, and I don't know how Thrasher fits in to either the quadriplegic lawyer with marital problems, or the disfigured monster who dates a blind girl. Anthony's having an asthma attack here, but what a great episode. Do you need a minute? He's taken off his glasses and tears. Wow. Wow. I can't tell if you're laughing, you can just emotionally move by the story of the disfigured monster. Thrasher. And Thrasher. It'd be funny if the monster artist was named Thrasher. I'm going to need a minute. All right. Should we pause? Let's pause and come back while Anthony catches his breath. All right, we're back. I think Anthony's okay to notice. He's caught his composure. Are you going to cut out the part at the beginning where we talked about vomiting? For an hour? Making people vomit. Before we recorded, we talked about making stuff come out of people's noses. Yeah. Oh, man. At 10 o'clock Wednesday night, what do you go with? Super statue of Bruce Springsteen. See, I'm going with Black's Magic. Oh, what is that? Black's Magic starred Hal Linden. It was his post. Oh, from Barney Miller? Barney Miller. He played a stage magician who solved mysteries with his elderly father. Was he Black? He wasn't. His last name was Black. Oh, okay. Like Harry Black. Wow. That sounds awesome. It's a pretty awesome show. Yeah. I actually have the whole series if you ever would like to watch it. I'm probably going to take up on that. I'm a big Barney Miller fan. It's Barney Miller is one of the greatest shows of all time. Yeah. Hands down Linden. Thursday night, eight o'clock. What are you going with? All right. I'm going very conservative here. Thursday night. I'm doing the NBC Cosby. Straight through. Yeah, it's right through. Now, Barbara Rello was also on USA Network, but would have cut out the nudity. So I think you made the right call. So you go with Cosby Show at 8. It's a pretty classic episode, 8.30. You go with family ties. This is a great one. This is the introduction. Are there any bad ones? No. There really is. No. This is the introduction of Nick. Oh, really? Oh, he's boyfriend. Yeah. Of course. Yes. And Nick was fantastic. Scott Valentine. He disappeared. Was in one of my favorite awful movies, My Demon Lover, was also in a movie called To Sleep with a Vampire. That is family ties. Nine o'clock, you go with Cheers. Yeah. I love Cheers. Yeah, everyone loves Cheers. How could you not? How could you not? And of course, the cover story Cheers. 9.30. Night Court. Night Court. This is a great one. Harry offers a taste of freedom to a pampered rock star who hasn't been alone in public in years. Stewart Pankins in it. It's fantastic. Highly recommend that one. Nice. One of the all-time great theme songs, I think, Night Court. Night Court? Oh, yeah, easily. Yeah. I always liked a little hammer noise. Boop boop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, what do they call them? What's that? It's a wood block. Yeah. I wonder if any bands cover that. They should. I think so. Night Court. As much as I love Night Court, it's one of the reasons I never went to New York. Oh, really? I've been there now, but I was scared to go to New York because I thought it would be like Night Court. It would be like Night Court? Yeah. Night Court and the Warriors. That's pretty much what I thought New York was like. Finally, Anthony. Sadly. The final night of the week. Last thing. Friday night. Yep. 8 p.m. What do you go with? I'm going to watch Godzilla 1985. Ooh. Have you seen Godzilla 1985? Since I was a kid. I saw it in the theater. Really? I love Godzilla. I loved Kaju. I love Ultraman. Yeah. That being said, not a huge fan of Godzilla 1985. I would not watch that. Yeah. I probably would have gone with Webster. Over Godzilla? Over Godzilla. Ironically. Yeah. I would have gone from the biggest to the smallest. The smallest little monster. It disfigured monster named Webster. Yes. This is a special episode where Uncle Philip played by Ben Vereen is in Hollywood and his movie career fails. I like Ben Vereen. And in Chicago, a cold snap and power outage altered second honeymoon plans for George and Catherine. Do you ever watch the David Steinberg show? Yes. From the 70s. Yeah, yeah. It was like a CTV before. I mean, I'm explaining it for the listeners at home. I know you know. Yeah. But it is an episode, I forget why I'm telling the star. You just wanted to talk about David Steinberg. Okay. It'll come back to you. I'm de-rilling the show because I forget why I brought that up. It'll come back to you. Okay. So you're watching this movie, so you also miss it. Missy everything, yeah. Leo and Liz in Beverly Hills, which is a terrible shout. I consider that one. I never heard of it, but I noticed Harvey Corman. It didn't air a very long Peter Ackraud was in it, speaking of David Ackraud as well. Yeah, Peter Ackraud as well. And Harvey Corman was in it. And this Leo regrets making a large donation to an art museum when he discovers that he also has to make a speech. We've all been there. All been there. Poltergeist was also on, which is Craig T. Nelson's finest role. I've never seen that movie out there. You've never seen Poltergeist? Yes. And he likes Spielberg. Well, I'm not a horror movie. Well, he produced that. He directed it. Yeah. Yeah. He directed it. Toby Hooper. I'm afraid of it. I had a heroine travel him at the time. Yes. He was, Toby Hooper had been fired from many, many movies. Yeah. I like Close Encounters. Oh, boring. It is boring. It is boring. It's long. I love Terry Gar. Love Terry Gar. Yeah, she's good. Anytime someone recommends, let's watch Close Encounters, I go, no, let's watch Mr. Mom. And you know what? They always thank me after. They always thank me after. It is an investment. Nine o'clock. You wouldn't go with Superstar show. Paul Young. I think I skipped that one. So we go from Bruce Springsteen and Bob Dylan to Paul Young. Yeah. Yeah. Every time you go away. Interesting because Springsteen, okay, so this is '80, so when he was born in the USA, '84? '84. 'Cause that was like his mega hit. Oh yeah. He was huge that year. Yeah. He had been around for ten years, ten years. Well, he was more than ten years old. He had been here. He had a musical career for more than ten years, right? There was a show on that I would have watched at nine o'clock. Normally would have watched Miami Vice, but this was a very short live show that was pretty good called The Last Precinct. Okay. And it was an hour long comedy drama starring Adam West and Ernie Hudson. And it was only on, if I remember, about four or five episodes, but it was pretty great. It sounds pretty good. Yeah, it's tough to find. I haven't been able to find episodes of it now. You've seen the look well. Well, yeah, yeah. It's look well, it's great. It's so good. Sidewalks my pillow. So Anthony, sadly, that brings us to the end of the week. Yeah. Now, normally, as you know, TV Guide is not just informative, it judges, it cheers and it cheers. However, this issue does not have its own cheers or cheers. So I would turn to you. What would you cheer and what would you cheer in this week of television? Okay. I kind of forget how they used to do those, the cheers and cheers. They would say cheers to Highway to Heaven for finally shedding light on the show. It's a thrasher problem of disfigured monsters. Disfigured monsters and quadriplegic lawyers. When they call him a monster, for me, that I immediately assume he has a bad personality. Oh, yeah. I don't think that he's ugly when I hear someone's a monster. I've been called a monster before. Yeah. I would not say that you're ugly. So I would think that it's because you're a personality. I'm a bad person. Yeah. You know what I've never had? A monster energy drink. Yeah. Yeah. Neither of I. No. What do they call that? Because I guess because it's an energy drink. All right. I'm going to say cheers to Superstar Show for highlighting Paul Young. Paul Young for finally recognizing him in the same echelon as American poets like Bruce Springsteen and Bob Dylan. I wish Paul Young was still famous so that some newspaper, and he was like really left wing and some shitty newspaper could have a headline that just said, "Paul Old." Haha. Sorry. So cheers to Superstar Showcase. And what are you going to cheer? I'm going to say cheers to NBC's 60th anniversary for putting it opposite in New Heart. Okay. Fair enough. They should have. But you know, CBS was a rival show. Right. If they had done it Wednesday night, it would have been fine. I would not have mine in missing Mr. Ed. So your actual cheer is cheers to NBC for not accommodating your schedule, although you had not been born yet. Oh, I had not been born yet. You know what, Anthony? That's fair. Yeah. You would have thought they would have thought ahead. Well, for when this podcast inevitably came out. We'll talk to Brendan Tarda-Coffee, even though he's dead. So Anthony Shabelli, thank you so much for being on the podcast. Thank you for having me. Anytime. Anytime. An educational three and a half hours for me. Yes. This was slightly shorter than the NBC 60th anniversary. Thank you so much. But we were kinder to Milton Burl. That's true. Yeah. There you go. That was Anthony Shabelli in his nearly asthmatic, very beautiful, very beautiful. There you go, that was Anthony Shabelli in his nearly asthmatic, laughter fit. That's always sort of a good badge of honor when you make someone laugh to the point of injury. So please, as always, email me at kennedykeren.com. Let me know what you think of the show. If you have requests, if you have guests you'd like me to have on the show, any questions about TV, I will do my best to answer it. Like us on Facebook, we have lots of fun conversations on there. We have contests and all kinds of fun things. Go on iTunes and subscribe to the show if you don't already. If you like the show, please rate it, review it. The more reviews we get, the more ratings we get, the more people hear about the show. That's how iTunes puts these shows in their focus spotlight feature so that people who might not already know about the show might stumble upon it and like it. I think everyone who listens to it will like it. They just have to listen to it. So thank you once again and we'll see you next Wednesday for an all new episode of TV Guns, Count. [LAUGH]
