- Wait, you have a TV? - No, I just like to read the TV guide. Read the TV guide, you don't need a TV guide. ♪ Don't listen to me, don't listen to me, don't listen to me ♪ ♪ Don't listen to me, don't listen to me ♪ - Hello and welcome. It's Wednesday, it's time for a brand new episode of TV Guidance Counselor in a brand new year. It's 2015, and as I said last week, my goal is to have an even better year than we have last year, which will be difficult, but I will do my best. And we continue the streak with a great cast this week. My guest this week is Tess Lynch. Now Tess is a great writer. She's actually working on a novel right now, which I am very much looking forward to reading. She used to work at Grantland as a writer, a pop culture writer there. I always enjoyed her writings on television, and I very much enjoyed her podcast, Girls in Hoodies. It was a frequent listener. You can also go to her blog, or Tumblr is very good. I will put links to that up on tvguidescounselor.com and on the Facebook page. We had a fun conversation. She's very funny and very knowledgeable and fun to talk to. So please enjoy this week's episode of TV Guidance Counselor with my guest, Tess Lynch. ♪ It's made for TV, TV movies made for TV ♪ ♪ TV movies made for TV, TV movies made for TV ♪ Tess Lynch. - Hi. - Hello. Thank you so much for doing the show and trekking out to this borrowed space that we're renting out here. - It's really beautiful. - It is cool. There's a really cool view. We can't see the Hollywood sign. I think we're on the other side. - Yeah, you're looking the other way. - Yeah. - You're looking towards the valley. - Although people could tell us it was up there and we would probably believe them. - Yeah. - But we're just po-dunks from Boston. - Po-dunks or Boston. - Yes, yes. - Clam-dunks. - Yes, I'm gonna pitch that as a show now for A&E in light of wall burgers. - Right, yes. - So you picked a TV. I brought out a small selection of the collection out here and I had no intention on that rhyming. But you kind of requested like a 91, 92-ish was the year range you were thinking. - I'm afraid of things that existed before I did. - Okay. - So I eliminated all of those. - Right, they did not exist. - Unimportant. - I think that's not a bet. Actually, that's probably how most people look at things to this day. So you, this is when you watch the most TV probably. - I think, yeah, well so in '92 I was nine. - Yeah. - And I was actually like, I found my first diary a few weeks ago and I basically like 50 pages of this diary. It was just like an ongoing war between me and my parents about watching 90210. - They wouldn't let you. - No, they didn't want me to, it was past my bedtime. - Do you think that it was because it was past your bedtime or because of the show? - 'Cause it was so racy. - I watched, I mean my parents brought me to see glory in the theaters. - Okay. - Was like my first r-rated move. - But that is historical significance. - Any sort of head gets blown up. It's like how much wars can like a little bulimia be? It's just not a story. - True, although I've never seen anyone try to equate glory to 90210. - They're so similar. - They are very similar, you know. - They're very similar and there was that scene where Dylan fought the Civil War on behalf of slaves. - Yeah, that was like almost like a B-side. - Yes, yes. - It was, if you stuck around for the last five minutes past the episode, it was a treat. - I would like to see like a funny or dive video where they reenact glory with the cast of 90210. - Honestly Ian's earring, is that, am I pronouncing his last name right? - He could do it, yeah, he could do it. I think so. - You know what was Sharknado? - He goes by I-in. - No, see I knew there was something in there that was weird. - That's the weird thing, yeah. That seems like a joke that got out of hand. - I-in. - Like he's like, "No, it's I-in and now it's just I-in." And I think his wife is like a Price is Right model. - Real. - Or something like that, yeah. I mean, he, I remember watching that show and being like, I have so many friends who were into this one. - He seems like such a dickhead that you're like, "This guy is not acting." - Yeah, exactly. - And I don't know if that's the case, but that show I could never see. I never watched 90210 weirdly, 'cause despite the fact that I mostly identified with teenage girls at that point, based on everything I watched otherwise, it would have made perfect sense that I was watching that show, but when it started, it was opposite, the flash. - Oh. - And I was watching that, and then I couldn't get away from the flash. - Who could flame you honestly? - I mean, John Wesley Ship, and it's the most expensive show on television up to that point. Not the best show. - No, it kind of was though, if you think of it. I mean, I don't know, it wasn't the best show, but when I think about watching 90210, I wish I had been watching the flash now. - Yeah, I guess the grass is always greener. And I'm actually looking forward to the new flash. Amanda Peay is from the '90s flash. She's gonna be on the new flash, which is kind of interesting. 'Cause she quit acting years and years ago. - Did she really? - She married Corbin Berenson, and then went into some design business, like interior design or something. So it was like a weird big deal that she was gonna be on the new flash. - I wonder if interior design has changed her. - It probably has. It probably has. I think that she'll have a new take on the role based on the interior design. Like people will tell. They're like, I didn't even know this, but has she been doing interior design? - I can tell that she knows her thing about Sophas. She has a Paisley vibe now. - Yes, it absolutely looks like she is a reupholstering things. - Right. - The way that she's taking them. - The flash. - Exactly. So you picked out an issue from the week of June 20th to the 26th, 1992, where they named TV's Man of the Year on the cover, who is weirdly Ross Perot. - Yeah. - Very strange. - Do you remember your impressions of Ross Perot by the way like from that time? - Yes, oh yes. - It was like a fascinating figure. - He was such a weird, he didn't seem like a real person. - Exactly. It seemed like a joke. - And I think Dana Carvey was very upset that he did not win the presidency, because he seemed like he had his heart more in the Ross Perot than in any other group at that time. But he just was like flash the fan and was gone. I don't think anyone thought he was going to win the presidency. But he was like a Bond villain, and like he's just some rich guy who did whatever he wanted. - He was also like Frank Perdue. - Yes. - He was like Frank Perdue the Bond villain. - Yes, who wants to be president? - Exactly. - I would watch a Bond movie if the villain was based on Frank Perdue, and I'd like me to check it. - Absolutely. - Yeah. 'Cause rich guys who just decide they want to do something, I have a lot more respect for than like a career politician. - Well guys with a hobby. - Yeah, just like chicken. - Oh, you're a president, whatever. - I love chicken. - I love chicken. Or oval red and bocker. - Yes, exactly. - I want to see a show where oval red and bocker and Frank Perdue run for president and vice president. - I mean, holograms? - Yeah, I mean, now that you see set. - But I'm just saying like think outside the box and we can really, we can get this thing around. - It's gonna be an anime series. - Yeah, you're in LA if you do pitch meetings on down. - Popcorn chicken. That's what it's called. That's what it's called. Why hasn't this happened already? This should be, this should be a show. So let's jump right in, this is a Saturday night and this is a central time edition we should mention which you grew up mostly on the east coast. You were on the east coast at this time? - At this time I was on the east coast. - Okay, so you were on east coast time. So this, actually you would never have been in central time ever. You just flew right over it. So we went from seven to nine because they're in the weird central time zone which I was always jealous of growing up because they got, you could've watched it on a 2-1-0. It would've been that extra hour of television. It would've been on an eight instead of nine. - Man, you're changing my whole perspective. I never really thought about it that way. That should've been my argument. - Yeah, can we move to St. Paul? - Whose fault is it that we're in the wrong times? - Yes, it's not my fault. You guys might be here but my heart is in Minnesota. - My heart's in Minnesota, it always has been. - Was there any other shows that your parents were like, you can't watch this? Or was it strictly? - It was really weird. It seemed to be specific to 90210. They didn't really mind me. I mean, they were pretty liberal with what they let me watch. And so that's why I was sort of, I bought that it was about the bedtime. - Right. - I mean, if it had aired, like, I guess it. Occasionally, you know, I would tape it probably. - Right. - Because I know I kept up with 90210 but there was like the immediacy and meeting together for the night. - Oh yeah, the next day at school, if you go in and you don't know what happened, like you might as well just not show up. Just go on Friday. - Pretty much, yeah. We're a bag on your head. - Yeah, they're like, if you're not talking about 90210, what are you possibly here for? - Just getting wedges and learning. - So you somehow caught up but you don't know how? - I do think I taped some of it. I will-- - Did you cleanest and leave tape it? - No, I think they let me. - Okay. - And that's the weird thing, is that I only have, you know, how this played out, like, in my diary where I left out all of this information. 'Cause it's so angry, like, passioned and angry. - We were just like, why can't I watch this one show? - Hate them so much. I hate them so much. It's just 90210. And it's like, the vitriol is so out of control. - And I-- - The hate. - It was a real campaign. And I had a sitter who would let me watch 90210, so I don't know that there was occasionally a loophole. - And do you think your parents ever thought, like, did they know that the sitter let you watch it? - Well, as I, I mean, I really think it was about the bedtime. - Okay. - But that to me is very strange when I think, like, I mean, how much sleep was I getting? I know-- - That's a nine o'clock bedtime? - Yeah. - Well, at least it was only. - So it scrambled me. I think they wanted me in bed by 830, which is great. - 4th grade? - Yeah. - But apparently. - It seems really early. - It seems really early. - Yeah. I feel like 930. - Yeah, 930 seems reasonable to me. They've been always been very big on sleep. And like, you know, I get that. - Sleep is good. I mean, now I would, like, a nine o'clock bedtime, probably, but my parents also just didn't care what I did. - Really nice. - I had no bedtime. They were usually asleep before me. - Do you have siblings? - I do. I had a younger sister. - That's a trick. He did that right. - Yeah, I was first. Oh, you're an only child? - I am. - Yeah, so they were a little more conscious of what you're doing. You know, like they were making barber cherry rules. - Yeah, and if the younger kid gets the benefit of the other person having suffered first, although, weirdly, my sister had more rules than I had. - Really? - And I never got in trouble. I used to stay up all night and watch TV. Nothing ever happened. - And that was fine. - That was fine. - And you look like you survived and it's okay. - I did. - It's okay. Everything's more or less okay. But she, they were like, she can't be home alone. - Maybe it's a daughter thing. - It might be that. They would be protective of daughters. - I mean, it seems, it does seem strange to me now, especially I'm a parent and I'm like, what could be better than them taking in all the media at such a young age, late at night, getting it done. - But you have an interest in that too. - Yeah, well, I was also being only a little bit sarcastic, but you know, there is some kind of like nice thing when your kid takes his or her first interest in like media, but he's like, oh, now we can talk about this thing. - Yes, yeah, yeah. - And then you're like, oh, but you also want to watch it all the time. - Right. Aren't you sick of this yet? - Right. Not being a parent, that is something I think about if I had a kid, which would be like, you kind of probably want to program them to have good taste in things, but then also it's probably kind of interesting to see like what they just gravitate towards and you just hope that it's not awful things. - I cannot be a taste influencer with my kid. He knows exactly what he likes. He likes rants it, the band rants. - Yeah, yeah, rants it, yeah. - Yeah, he's been like, how did he hear of rants it? - It was on the radio one time. It was on all 98.7, which is the radio. - Was it Ruby SoHo? - It was, no, and that's what I thought was weird. It was time bomb. - Really? - Yes, and I would have thought Ruby SoHo kind of makes sense for him, 'cause he's got like a really catchy hook and it's like, you know, kind of round vowels. - Right. - But no, it was time bomb. And he's really, he gets what I had is, he gets what she was already cataloged. - Okay, so maybe she's into fashion? - Yes. - So he just likes catalogs. - That's what I would say. - So it's not about rants, it's about catalogs and suits. - I don't know though, Scott and like punk that kind of borders out of Scott is also, I feel like very kids kind of gravitate. - Yeah. - It has an energy that they get. - Oh, absolutely. I mean, I think that, weirdly, and I think I'm a couple years older than you, but not too far after this, there was a strange period in the late '80s when advertising aimed at kids, all used things that sounded like the band Madness. - Yes. - So like Colgate had like, we got the Colgate, and it was like, a whole sky thing was very strange. - I usually remember this. - Yeah, so it was a very, very odd blip in time when they were like, this is what kids will listen to. - Yeah, the hard edge of the toddler is like already forming. - I really want to have that sort of thing. So he likes rants it. So he knows what it is. He's like, I like that rants it. - He just sings it to himself all the time and like he goes, that ranted video. - Oh, watch the video too, 'cause you do show it to him on the computer or something. - Sometimes on my phone, it's the thing that you always like judge parents for your restaurants is that you get to get to the screen, but sometimes they get so upset and like the only thing that will help is like 30 seconds of just, - Right. - Just calm them down. - Yeah, just chipping, just a taste of the, what you're asking for. - They're the worst things that the kid could be into, I guess. - No, it's true, yeah. I mean, and it's like, it's kind of interesting 'cause you're just like, well, this has nothing to do with me. - Right, I did not influence this in any way. Negative or positive, I didn't forbid it so that I would ensure he loved it and I didn't say it was great so that he would probably hate it. - Yeah, just like objective, like his therapist. I'm just like, oh, that's interesting. That's what you like. - And what do you like about this? - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, what is it that abuse? - So nine or two when I was a show again, I didn't get into, but my parents also never forbid me from watching anything aside from 2020, but I watched it every week and I would be terrified of everything on it. So they were like, you're complaining too much about being afraid of medical waste and telling us not to wear lap seat belts so you're not allowed to watch this. So that was more just 'cause they were annoyed. But other than that, there was no bedtime. And that was the only show you missed that was on at nine normally that you wanted to watch. - I think so, I mean, looking at this TV guide, I was really kind of like, I must have been obsessed with 902 and a because very little, like you know, you have your kind of standby sitcoms, but that was something that I remember just, that was like what I really, really wanted to see. - Well, not sure. I think was the first late night soap aimed at teenagers. I can't think of another one that before it or at least it was successful. And the nighttime soap had kind of dried up at that point because Dallas is one of those shows that went way longer than I thought it did and it ended in like '92 or something like that. And it was huge and it was definitely more middle-aged. And so 902 when it came out right at that time and it was like, yeah, teenage girls want to watch soap operas but they're at school all day. So nighttime makes perfect sense. - And it was a little glossier than a soap. - Yeah. - But I used to like kind of enjoy watching soaps and then I got really, I sort of became disillusioned with them until passions. - Yes, well passions was so bizarre. It's like David Lynch's soap. - Yeah, passions was what I wanted dark shadows to be like and I remember 'cause I'm a huge horror movie nerd and I remember you'd read about like dark shadows and then I'd get like a bootleg tape and be like, "Wow." And then I'm like, "Oh, this is not anything like I thought it would be." And passions was kind of what I thought dark shadows was supposed to be. - Unintentionally, but maybe that was what was hard to tell about passions. You never had any kind of sense of if it was supposed to be self-parity. - But they knew what they were doing. - Yeah, like who they imagined their audience to be because I think that there were probably people, like women maybe and they're like 70s and 80s who were like, "Passion, very straightforward drama." - Yeah, but then you probably have a lot of college kids who are taping it and then watching it at two in the morning after they've indulged in something. - Oh, I used to ditch class and watch passions sometimes. I was just like, "This is a horrible thing to do, but it feels so good." - I could never skip classes because I sat down and I actually calculated how much each class cost. - Oh, wow. - Which you should never do. If you go to college, do not do, but it's like-- - This is why your parents didn't give you a bad time. - That's true, yeah. Yeah, 'cause I was just more hard on myself, but it was like $200 an hour or something. So if I did anything but go to the class, I'd be like, "Oh, this cost me an extra $200 "and I couldn't do it." And I was like, "No." - How do I feel like such a jerk or something? - No, no, not at all. I would have rather have done that. - Some of it was, I lived pretty far off campus and there was some lizards. - It's hard to trek in. - Yeah. - And my cat was sick and-- - Understandable, understandable, staying up with sick friends. - Right, yes, I have a dear friend. You gave me badly at that time. - I'm a raised, I went to Northeastern and I used to commute in, 'cause I had an apartment off campus. And so I would kind of hang out all day 'cause I didn't go home 'cause I lived far from campus. And so some days I had like four or five hours in between classes and I would go rent a movie at a video store when we had those and then find a lecture hall and watch it in the lecture hall 'cause they had like AV equipment in there. So it would just be me in a huge lecture hall with a big projector watching like Frank and Hooker or something like really awful, be hard movie. And I was like, no's all right. So I probably, if I, it was easier for me to get home, I probably would have to watch that as well. Yeah, I'm watching that as well. - I don't know, it just sounds like a lot better. I think you did college better. - I might have, although I don't think I really got anything. But I did work at the CBS affiliate in Boston when I was in college and we had to watch The Soaps. They made us-- - Really? - You had a TV on, 'cause I worked in the audience services which was when old people called to complain. You gotta listen to it. And so we had to, no, it was on. So we knew what they were talking about. And so I wouldn't switch to passions which was on a different network and watch that instead of watching, I was supposed to watch and I would get yelled at frequently for that. - Who could blame you? - Yeah, and I'm like, but this is just a better show. There's like a weird living doll kid. It was like a midget that was a, like a, don't you remember that? - Out of its world. - No, no, on passions, there was a-- - Oh, oh yeah, there was Timmy, what was Timmy? - Timmy, Timmy, yes, yes, Timmy. Terrified. - He did pass away. - I thought it was really sad. - It was during the run of passions. - Yeah. - Which of the show was still on? - Timmy was the best part of passions. - That was a very weird character. - Yeah, well, what was his, he had like a keeper kind of woman. - Yes, yes. - Like an evil, yeah. - What a weird show. You don't know if people reference that show anymore and it hasn't really gotten their surgeons because there's like 7,000 episodes and I don't think people are gonna marathon passions. - No, it's, there's a lot of, you know, you have to separate the weed. - That's true, that's true. But yeah, it is funny how it sticks with you more than, I think any other soap, if you got it. - Well, it definitely stands out. Although there were weird plot lines on like, - Oh, for sure. - hospitals, like people were kidnapped by aliens and that kind of weird stuff. - Yeah, the alien contingent of soaps was always like really interesting. - Yeah, I mean, that was big in the 80s generally, so I think maybe they were just reflecting whatever in the popular culture was, 'cause then there was a whole, they all had things where like, a woman was kidnapped in a well, like around the time I saw some of the lenses, like all the soaps all of a sudden, for four weeks some woman is kidnapped by a serial killer who had like that SVU kind of thing and interpreting news. - Yes, except with much worse writing. - Yeah, and just doing it real fast. Like you come in, you shoot for half an hour, then it's just up immediately, it was like webcasting. - Oh, it's interesting that they have cue cards in that hole that that woman is trying to have. (laughing) It would be a weird serial killer, he's like, read these cue cards, that's what I'm into. So Saturday night, let's show right in, seven o'clock, what are you going with? - Okay, so seven o'clock I chose Who's the Boss. - So this was the final season of Who's the Boss, which was-- - And it got really weird. - It got really weird, and they like just went with the will they won't they, and it happened, and then it was really boring, but then they realized no one even cared to begin with 'cause it's Who's the Boss, and what NBC was trying, I mean, ABC was trying to do was replicate the TGIF formula on Saturday night. So they moved, Who's the Boss and Growing Paints to Saturday, and they tried to call it Saturday as funny. - No. - Which is not a good, it's no TGF, and both shows were not, it was not intended to be the last season and both shows, but it was such a failure that they canceled them both that year. - It killed them. - It killed them. - I mean, I don't see how Who's the Boss could have continued though. - No, I mean, that show went on for almost 10 years. - Yeah. - How? - I really only watched it for Mona, but I cared a lot about Mona. - Yeah, I mean, that was a great character, and they tried to give her a spin off. - I know. - And had a pilot, and it was good, and no one wanted it. - No. - Because people don't wanna watch a show about a senior citizen who's all sexed up. - Golden Girls are our bus. - Yeah, I mean, I think that if you did a show just about Rumac Lanahan's character, no one would have watched it, but the fact that it was offset by the other characters, which essentially, I think what a Mona sitcom probably would have been. - Yeah, I mean, I could have been into like, it's like a cougar, a cougar town of one. - I think that would work now, but probably not in 1992. - No. - So this particular episode is the final series episode airs the week after that. - So it's the penultimate episode. - So it's the penultimate, and they feel they need to specifically mention that in the teaser guide, which seems a little bit cheaper. - That's right, that's right. - So they're like, Tony gets the impression that he's considered a kept man by Angela's friends. I don't know why he's her housekeeper. - Right. - So the guy doesn't say that, but that, so he buys Angela an abstract painting. He can't realistically afford. Also, we're that she pays a salary. So really, she's sort of buying that painting. - Right, for herself. - Yeah, that, I think I would have skipped who's the boss that night. Normally, I would have watched it when he moved it to Saturday and when it was on Wednesdays, I always watched it, despite not liking it. - Yeah. - I always watched it, but on Saturday, there were so many other choices because Golden Girls is also on. - Right. - And it's final season, but I probably would have gone with Cops, my go-to Saturday night show. - He really would have gone with Cops. - I think so. I still watch it now. It's like weirdly fascinating. - I used to be really fascinated by Cops, but then, did you ever watch the first 48? - Yes. - Okay, so the first 48, I'm like, see, I can't, and maybe it's also being in LA where Cops are so, it's such a fraud. - Right. - I mean, it is everywhere. - Yeah. - But I'm like, you know, at Southland in the first 48, I'm so serious when it comes to law enforcement. And Cops is like, it was thrilling for a while, but I couldn't deal with like that kind of pace. - Yeah, it also, Cops, in sort of in '92, it changed to when Cops first started, it was kind of a more academic show, for lack of a better term, where they were really following them in like when they'd arrest the person, then they'd follow them to booking and whatever, and you'd see, it was like a documentary, but then, around '92, they started realizing that the thing people wanted to see was like people being tased and like fights. - And like chain link fences and hit balls and punching. - So they started actually having specials, it would be like, Cops, Tays are special. And I'm like, what has happened? - No, that's why I can't do it, is 'cause I'm just like, that's really dark, and it's presented as, you know, it's been a very different tone. - Yeah, yeah, it doesn't have like a, this is a terrible thing that happened, it's like, isn't this funny? - Yeah. - This particular episode, they're in Riverside, California, and sheriff's deputy, John Ruffcorn, I wanna mention that's one of the best names I've ever heard. I've never heard of anyone with the last name, Ruffcorn, 'til I just read that right now, and that is a damn good take. - It's feed and farms, the same name. - John Ruffcorn answers a shooting call that becomes a double homicide investigation, and a search of a drug lab reveals illegal weapons and several suspects. That's one of the most action-packed episodes of cops that I've ever heard a description of, and an illegal drug lab. So that's gonna win out on who's the boss. However, USA Network on their Saturday night program, Saturday night maras were showing prom night three, the last kiss, so I probably would flip back and forth. That's a pretty good pick. - I didn't know that flipping back and forth was an option. - Oh yes, you can always flip, yes. - Okay, well that will inform me going forward. - Yes, sorry, I should have informed you of that. Did you use to flip when you would watch stuff or reveal as people who's like, "I'm committed, I have to watch." - Too nervous to flip. - Did you miss anything? - It's fair, yeah. I definitely know people who were like that. And I was like that too, I used to have something on the VCR tape it and watch full, 'cause if I missed a second, I wouldn't know what was going on. - It's very stressful. And I think like being a neurotic person, you also, you kind of like anthropomorphize sometimes a show where you're like, "I left him." - Right, they're gonna be mad at me, they'll know. - Yeah, they were boring and now they're, yeah, they feel the click, like disappeared, yeah. - Yes, they're gonna get the numbers and go, "What happened to you?" - Where was Tess? - Yeah, and call her up and be like, "Yes, what's going on?" - She was there for the first 15, then she left. - What do we need to do to keep you in the show? Do you remember the phenomenon that was picture and picture? - We're the little box, yeah. - You could flip without flipping? - Right, that was like, when was that? I remember being in high school and seeing someone fancy. - Yeah, that was very fancy. I didn't know anyone that had that, but it seemed like if you had picture and picture, that was like, you were doing well. - Yeah, yeah, that was your proof, the affluence, isn't it? I'm watching two things, I'm not taking it to anything, but they're there. - I'm not listening to either, but I know, yeah, it was, and they'd always just advertise it for like, sports people. But that was for maybe like a three year period picture and picture, it was like the luxury, I guess, option you could get on the floor. - Do they think that our brains would evolve to be able to focus on two different stories and voices and pictures? - Maybe. - I mean, have they? - I don't know if they have, I think if anything, they've devolved so that we can actually focus on not even one at a time. - That might be true, yeah. 'Cause it's like the assumption is always that you're actually checking your email and doing whatever, so it's like an added media. - Right, exactly, yeah, 'cause I think the intention was you can flip and then you'll see when the other show is back, so you can get back in time. But then it's like, but why are you flipping if you're not gonna intend to switch? But cops is very flippable. - It is, it is. - Yes, you're not gonna come back to cops and be like, who's this guy, what's happening now? You can kinda, you catch on pretty quickly. - Where's Officer Rolfoorn? - Rolfoorn was here a minute ago. So 7.30, what are you going with? - Oh, well, I just, oh, no, I do have something. This is something I have not seen. And I, but I want to now, which is reading, writing, and ratmatas with Sinbad. - I had no doubt in my mind. That's why you picked from this one. - I dare you to find the things better. - Yes, and this is also the beginning of the summer, so a lot of things are in repeat, but they're also trying to aim a lot of stuff at teenagers and youth, 'cause it's the summer vacation starting. So this is an educational special hosted by Sinbad, and it's a program on the importance of education featuring singing, dance, and rap performances by teenagers. I am making it my life's mission to find a copy of this. - Can you please? - I will try to hump this down, and I will hook you up with a copy if I can find this. - Oh, please can. - 'Cause I think there is no other choice that possibly watch than reading, writing, and rapmatas. - Rapmatas, and it's 7.30, I think, is the perfect time to watch something like that, like, for a dinner with your family. And you know that it's gonna be so embarrassing, but the layers of embarrassment will be different now. - Yeah, and I think there were probably kids that watched this that would pretend that they thought it was lame, but actually really liked it. - But I actually liked it. - Yeah, which explains most of Sinbad's career. - I was gonna say it's that Sinbad magic touch. - Yes, that is Sinbad. - You're like failing it inside. - Oh, this isn't good, and then you really like it. - No, I'm just leaving it here for no reason. - When you were in, this is the kind of thing that they would tape and show us in school. That happened in great school. - I just think the teachers didn't want to do anything, but they would tape these mother goose rockin' rhyme, and they would show it to us, but I'm like, "We're like 13, this is not appropriate." But they were just like, "I want to go outside and smoke." I think that's cool. - And I was wish I had found it at school. That school sounds awesome. - For Spanish, instead of learning Spanish, our teacher, who was named Mr. McLean, who everyone called Mr. McStane, or Mr. McDurdy, or sometimes saying you're stinky. He'd look like Vincent Price, and he would leave class in middle class and go smoke like three cigarettes and come back. But he showed us a Herbie movie in Spanish over the course of three classes. - With, obviously not subtitles, just like throwing you into the water. - Just in Spanish. - You can figure it out. - Yeah, and he'd be like, "This is how you learn." And so all we learned that in Spanish, Herbie is called Ocho. - Ocho. - 'Cause he doesn't know you don't know it. - And that's it. - And then we watched an American tale in Spanish. - Actually, that sounds kind of pleasant. - That was kind of pleasant, because we all learned the words that Pedro Noah got those in America, which was fun. But I don't think that high school kids really are learning Spanish by watching those movies. - But it's weird because in high school, I took French and we did like a series of video tapes called "French in Action." - Okay. - How about this? - No, no. - There was like a rumor that one of the main actresses was a porn star. - Okay. - Yes, I have heard that, yes. That got around very cool. - Yeah, that's how it's known. - Yes. - But it was like a very strange, almost like expressionist. I mean, speaking of self offers, everything was very kind of gozzly lit. - Right. - And it was like, there were a lot of, it was like, I guess, Miret, and her sister, Marie Lour, was younger. And then there was like, Robert, who was, you kind of saw things from Robert's perspective. - So it was like a soap opera? - It was very sofy. - Very weird. - But I was so into it, because I mean, they had weird things like this guy, they want a subway car or something, and like a man with a monocle comes on, and tells them in French that everyone is squished like sardines. And I was like, this is really dark, and it's weird to watch it because it seems very French. It sounds like a Berlin's video for the Metro. - Yes, yeah, exactly, yeah. - Yeah, that was much better than watching Herbie. - Yeah, 'cause there was intrigue, and you couldn't crack it just by looking at it, because you're like, well, obviously it's dialogue, heavy, there's- - I guess, I mean, I'm not an educator in any way, which is painfully obvious, but I'm against counselor, which means I could not get an education degree if high schools are going to be believed. But that sort of makes sense. Like you would want people, if they want to learn a language, you'd want to make them want to know what people are saying, so you'd make it sort of, you'd want to lean in and be like, what's happening? And so you would have to have it be sort of an interesting plot line. - Exactly, now I think they should just do like kind of sneaky methods of getting conversations in Spanish, but you've been like really angry people, or like lovers or whatever, and then just playing it for high schoolers and being like, figure it out. - Which is probably very easy to record in most major cities. - That's what I'm thinking. - Yeah, yeah. - To make a racket. - Yes, so that's absolutely the choice. I don't think there's any other decision that we could make at that point. Eight o'clock would we go with? - Eight o'clock, I would House of Style. - My all time favorite MTV show. - Is it really? - Absolutely. - Even more than a real world? - Even more than the real world. I loved House of Style so much. I wrote them letters. - No, what did I say? - Just like, man, this is the best show ever. I loved when Todd Oldham reposted a touch. It was the, well, like it was embarrassing. Yeah, it was, my dad was very upset when he found out that I was writing fan letters to House of Style. - House of Style. It was a very, it's the same feeling that you get out from watching House Hunters or something. It puts you in that. - Yeah, I think also that it had, it was such a cool, like even the first season of the real world was like this as well, but it just made New York seem really cool. Like it was just like, yeah, it's really happening and there's all like Keith Herring drawings everywhere. - Oh, everywhere. - Yeah, and you know, and you have all these models and they're, you know, like Cindy Crawford's going shopping with Duran Duran and John Stewart. And it just seemed really cool. Like it seemed fun. - I loved House of Style. - It was probably the best show on MTV this time. It was very well produced and they would do interesting stories. - They did kind of do interesting stuff and it's, I feel like your expectations for House of Style going in were probably pretty low. - Right. - Like it's like the first time you tune in for House of Style, you're just like, I know exactly. - What is this gonna be? - Right, but then there's kind of like an undercurrent of substance that you'd maybe a very small shred, but you know, like Rose, it kind of floated to the top. - I guess the, because of the nature of that show, they had to do interesting segments. 'Cause it couldn't just be like, hey, here's shoes. - Right. - So they had to come up with like interesting ways to present it. And as a result, it was like, this is probably the best show you guys are running. I, one of the other embarrassing House of Style fallout points was in high school, Todd Oldham went to the South Shore Plaza to sign a book and I made my high school girlfriend go with me and to wait in line to me, Todd Oldham, and then it had her take a photograph of me and Todd Oldham. - You're kidding. - Yeah, it was. - Where is that? - It exists somewhere. I'll have to dig that up. - Yeah, I know. - That's a little weird in hindsight. Yeah. - I think it's kind of cool. I mean, like being a House of Style, at least you're like, you probably had some other like cool people in your mix, like little, you know. - Probably not. They were like, they were just like, oh yeah, House of Style. And I'd have to like pretend to be like, sure. But then I'm like, wow, what a cool thing about design. Yeah. Yeah, so it was a great show. And I would watch it every time it was on, 'cause then DV had like four shows and they would set up a moment over. But House of Style is the one that like, every time it was on, I would just watch that episode again. Yeah, it was very, very good. I'm not ashamed. I'm not ashamed. - You shouldn't be. - Yeah. 830, what are you going with? - 830, I chose On the Air with David Lynch and Mark Frost, which I haven't seen. - Yes. - But I read there's like a little intro in this TV guide and I was like, where was I? Nine, I guess. - Yeah, nine, you're not really following David Lynch's. This was a huge disappointment for everybody. So this was, so Twin Peaks was huge as everyone remembers. And basically, David Lynch and Mark Frost could have done anything they wanted and a network would have aired it. And it also, Twin Peaks was sort of responsible for all the weird small town shows that we got after that. So you had Northern Exposure and Pickett Fences and all these things that kind of came up after Twin Peaks. But the thing they chose to do was a straight comedy, half hour sitcom, set in the 1940s at a radio station. And you know all the goofy attempts at humor and Twin Peaks that fall flat? That is a show. That's what On the Air is. And that's why you have nobody being like, let's rediscover On the Air, which you would think with the people love Twin Peaks now and probably more than ever, you would think that Paramount would be like, put out on the air, they'll buy it. They know that no one will buy it. - Was it like offensive? Was it just awkward? - It's not offensive, it's just not good. Like it's very well made, it looks very good. It's just not, like it's not, it's like lazy or it's just not, it's not well written. And it's got a great cast and it's just, it doesn't work. - It's weird because the more you argue, not too much, the more I actually want to watch it. - You should see it, you should see it, but it's not good, it really. - It's painful. - And I wanted to like that show 'cause Twin Peaks, I loved, and I loved comedy, and I'm like, this is great, it's comedy Twin Peaks. And it's in the 1940s at a radio station, and it's just, it doesn't work. And so this is the debut. They aired it as a summer replacement series. And this is, Twin Peaks creators, David Lynch and Mark Frost produced this send up of a network TV, which in the opener loses the demonium. I've never heard the word demonium in my life. - Never, never. - Upon a live variety show, carried away. So it's very wacky. It's almost like, here's what it's like, a three's company episode set in a 1940s media outlet directed by David Lynch. I'm actually probably overselling it with that explanation. - He just went too deep on the transcendental meditation. - Yes, it's a lot of like someone going in the wrong door and we made them, oh, it's wacky. It was a lot of physical stuff, like Lucy-esque. - Right, right. - Yeah, not a good show, very, very disappointing. - That's crazy. - Regardless, I would have watched it. - Yeah, because-- - Absolutely, it would have been a huge deal. It's debuting, we have to watch it. So Sunday night, eight o'clock, what are you going with? - Okay, well, I mean seven rather. - So I'm, you know, I'm a little bit light on Sunday. I just wanted to let you know in advance, in living color repeat. - Now, was that a show that you frequently watched? - Yeah, I watched a lot of in living color. - Have you tried to re-watch that? - I was actually gonna say that it's the show that has caused me the most kind of dissonance. - Right. - I tried watching it and I was like, oh my God, I'm so, it's like I'm trying so hard to laugh and I can't make laughs come out. - But it's a lot of it's so like hateful. - Yes, it's a very, it's like a very charged show, which at the time was like this great energy-- - Really edgy, yeah. - Yeah, and especially, you know, I think Jim Carrey stands out as like-- - Yes. - It was almost painful, like with his fire marshal bill, which I used to love fire marshal. - Oh yeah, everyone quoted it as cool. - Yeah, and like, yeah, this is just a burn victim. That's a character, that's it. - Exactly, he's just like a burn victim who's trying to express himself. It's really hard to watch. - It is, and it's like the sketch, fire marshal bill I often will reference, but also handyman, which I was, I was trying to remember it and I remember it being offensive, but I'm like, but maybe it's a sketch about how the other people are reacting to the handicap. And I tried to re-watch it 'cause it's come up a lot on the show and I'm like, you know, I'll re-watch it. So before I make judgment, and it's even worse than I remembered it. It's literally, all the jokes are laughing at a handicap person. That's it. - That's crazy, isn't it? And especially, I think it limit color is one of the most interesting shows to watch. Now that the kind of like landscape of responses to this. - Right. - 'Cause I'm like, can you imagine the blog posts, the outrage? - There would be riots in the streets of that picture, yeah. - Literally. - Like, but it was, I remember being like, this show's great. They can just say whatever they want. - Oh yeah. - They're comedians. - Yeah, and they really tapped into Fox's like bad boy image that they were going for in the early '90s too. And it was huge. And it was definitely, I think you had a new sketch show, which hadn't really happened in years. And so people were looking for that. And it was more or less sort of an all black cast, which was also refreshing for people. So I think that a lot of it was people getting caught up in that sort of stuff. 'Cause yeah, if you look at the, excuse me, the actual sketches, they're not good. - No. - They're either offensive, really lazy, or just like such lame of its time, like bad celebrity impressions that just fall flat. - Yeah. - And Jim Carrey does stand out because even if the characters are like grotesque or just offensive, they're at least so bizarre that they kind of rise above some of the other stuff. But that show was on for almost 10 years. - A long time. And you know, it's weird because I still kind of admire, I really do admire what it did, I guess. - Yeah. - You know, I mean, it-- - It brought us Jennifer Lopez. - It brought us Jennifer, exactly. They give to the world of Jennifer Lopez. But also, I mean, I think it did kind of like instill some excitement in sketches. - Yeah. - And that kind of stuff, which is great. And some of them were smart, but yeah, others, I mean, they're just so like insensitive to everybody. - Yeah. But not even in a way that is almost like, we're just, we're taking on everyone and nothing is sacred. - They seem like we hate this group of people. - Yeah. - Which is very weird. And, but it was, it was on a mainstream network and it wasn't like kids in the hall or some of the other stuff that was being done on Comedy Central or something. It was seen by a lot of people in that. That's a good thing. But to this day, I will still refer to Sean Waines as SW1. - Yep, yep. - I will not refer to him as Sean Waines. But I did watch this at the time. I usually would have flipped over the funniest home videos, which still makes me laugh. - You're on, I have trouble with it sometimes. Like I used to, I watched it for a while and then I was like, it gave me this to real feeling. - Okay. - You know what I mean? - Like you're prying into people's lives? - Yeah, kind of. It was like a little bit too surveillance-y and also just sometimes I was, there was just a reaction that seemed to be required that I just didn't feel emotional. - Gotcha. You don't have a connection with that. Like, yeah, I mean, somebody gets, you know, how many growing hits can, but again, there's, there's some videos on that that are really weird. - Yeah, they are. - And just like that. I'm glad that was captured on film because, or tape, because that's, I'm glad I saw that. - And it was kind of like very, it's very in line with now, you know, the internet and everything. - Yes, yeah, it's YouTube clips. - Right. - You know, 25 years before we had it, which is why the show is still on and still does very well on a Sunday night. And that's kind of an interesting, says a lot about that show. - Right, yeah. - But I would have flipped it back and forth and by 92 I probably would have been just aware enough of how offensive and living color was. This particular episode, Gene Kerry plays an elderly Captain Kirk and Maury Povich in a music video with Connie Chung, Connie Chung played by a man, of course. And also, Francine visits a La Ma's class. I also was very disappointed that Keene and I have your wings did it because I loved "I'm Gonna Get You Saka" and I loved Hollywood shuffle. - Yep. - And I was like, those are really smart movies. And if you just made those as a TV series, they would be great and it didn't, it wasn't. It was like a dumb down version of those. - Yep. Have you read much into like, you know, the behind the scenes stuff within "Loving Color"? - Some of it in the first season, especially like when they fired Kim-- - Kim Coles and-- - Kim Coles. - Yeah, yeah. I just started reading about it and was like, man, this should be like a lifetime, you know. - Yeah, oh, that would have been better than the same by the bell one. - Oh, the same by the bell one was the most horrible thing. - That was horrific. - I mean, even the wigs, I was like, you guys, and it was like a joke, like an on purpose. - It was like Dustin Diamond did everything. - Yeah. - Like he did the costume and didn't just write a ridiculous rant about how angry it was. Yeah, that was, although I sort of appreciated the throwback to really bad made for TV movies that were unaware of how bad they were. - I love that stuff in general. - I would have watched the show that was short lived in very weird, interesting show called "The High Honey M Home." - What is that? - So what this was was Nickelodeon had just sort of, Nicket Knight had just sort of taken off by '91-'92, and it sort of become a phenomenon. And so what Nicket Knight did was they decided to produce an original series for the first time. And the concept was, was they called it an instant rerun. So the concept of the show was that a 1950 sitcom family comes to modern day America, you know, like a monsters, basically. And so that, which was funny and had some interaction, but the weird thing was they did it as a joint production with, I think, either NBC or CBS. So that it would air on Nicket Knight on Sunday night, and when it aired on the network, it would air on the next night, and they called it an instant rerun, 'cause it had already aired the night before. So it was a new old show, was that gimmick. And it was a funny, weird show, like the '50s family was in black and white, almost like Pleasantville or something. And I think it was too weird for people. - That sounds amazing. - It's a cool show, I've revisited it since. It's funny. I mean, it only made about 13 episodes. People did not like it. They were like, I don't like how this-- - It was like uncanny valley or something. - It was, and I think it was also too reflexive on television in the past, before people were really kind of okay with that. And so that's a show that I think is sort of ripe for people to rediscover, because it seems like that would be perfect now, like I don't know how that wouldn't work now. But I would have watched that because it was a great, weird show. And also was one of the first shows I remember watching where I'm like, the people who made this show know a lot about sitcoms, because they have like a reverence for it and understand how they work. And they're able to sort of use those things to make something new and interesting. - A remix. - Exactly, they did a remix, which is pretty much exactly what the living color missed. - Yeah. - It was like, I don't think you actually like the thing you're parroting, which is what makes this not good. - I think in living color, it seemed like everybody had been up really late for a long time. Everyone, the writers, the actors, it was just like everyone was staying up late at the time. - We gotta get this done. - We gotta get it done. - And like, just spit it out. And don't think too much about it. - Whatever works. - So we can all live it. - Yeah, yeah. Monday night, seven o'clock, what are you going with? - Monday, I think I literally decided my whole night would be Edward Scissorhands. - So this is what I've called, I would've gone on the movie as well, but I didn't go with Edward Scissorhands, but Edward Scissorhands is a great movie. Christmas movie, though. I always consider that a Christmas movie. - Really? - Yeah, it's very Christmas. - It goes across, you know. - It's a timelessism. - It's a timelessism, yeah. - True. See that, yeah, it is very California. But it just seems so Christmassy to me. - Was it California or was it Florida? I know it was supposed to be kind of like an awash - Burbank. - to Burbank, yeah. - I don't know if they ever said exactly where it took place. I always just assumed it was California. - It will, it does have a California, but. - Yeah, I've also, some of my friends have terrified of Edward Scissorhands. - Really? - Yeah. But they're just like, it completely terrified them as kids. - I find it a very sad movie. - It's incredibly sad. - I can never pass up watching it again. - Yeah, I'll always watch it when it's on. And I also loved that that movie as the reintroduction of Anthony Michael Hall to the girls. - I know. - As a very iron-zearing like character. (laughing) I would like to have seen them at that time be pitted against you. - Maybe that's why I had the LA vibe. It's like the 90210. - Yes. - It's like they're just emblems of California. - Edward Scissorhands is Tim Burton's 90210. - It is. - Yes. - Solved it. - We absolutely cracked that case. I do love that movie and I will normally watch that. However, my implied seasonal inappropriateness, I think I would've gone with hairspray. The network debut of John Lauter's hairspray. Love that movie. Huge John Lauter's got it. - I'm a big John Lauter's person, but I'm less into hairspray. If it had been playing flamingo or crybaby. - Yes. - Maybe. - Is hairspray too safe for you? - I just feel like it was probably one of the first ones I saw. And then since it was kind of like reinvigorated a couple of years ago, it's like oh it's down the shark. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I remember, I used to watch a thing on USA Now not up on night, I was called Night Flight. And it was before up all night, but they would show polyester and have all these little documentaries. So when I was like eight, I was like I love John Lauter's. And so I saw hairspray in the theater. And I was like ah, it's not quite as crazy as I thought it would be, which is a little weird to say on the night age. But I remember a story of some like teenage girls loving hairspray and then going and renting pink flamingos. - That's pretty much what happened to me. - Did this not what you went into? - It completely scarred me. - Yeah. - I feel like I'd actually seen hairspray maybe once, but then I watched hairspray again. And then I think I saw pink flamingos for the first time when I was in like maybe sixth or seventh day. - That's not the right age for that. - No! And I was like this is, it literally, and I think I was probably doing something stupid, like eating like a tuna fish sandwich. - Oh no, did you make it through the whole thing in one sitting? - He did. - That's impressive. - I have a hard time quitting. - Yeah, that's, you're not flipping, you're going to watch. - No, I'm not flipping, I'm not a flipper. - Yeah, because pink flamingos, most people don't make it. - Eggman, eggman. - Eggman. - The singing. - The singing. - Yes, yeah, that, but that movie is great. - It's, well it changes your life for better or worse. So you have to eventually give it up, but that was painful and necessary. - Yes, and every, all of us that have seen it are now half out of it to share it on. Yeah, I think hairspray, I mean, pink flamingos is one of those movies that's like, here's your life before you've seen it. - Exactly, yeah. - Yes, so hairspray, yes, the most sanitized John Waters movie, but I love it. It's got such a weird, great cast and I definitely would have watched it. And that's the whole night, I'm watching that as well. Tuesday night, eight o'clock, seven o'clock, rather, what are you going with? - Okay, seven o'clock, I chose Full House and I feel kind of weird about this. Let's just be honest, it's Jesse Casablus and that's what it's all about. - So you're watching it for a crush? - Just Uncle Jesse. - Yes, just Uncle Jesse. 'Cause you're-- - Never leave out one to Uncle Jesse. - Well, he's very handsome, isn't he? - Yeah, ageless. - Yeah, he is a weird case where there's a few actors that clearly someone at the network liked and just kept putting in shows and putting in shows and putting in-- - He liked it a little bit sometimes, yeah. - He was in so many shows, it's same with George Clooney. I mean, it was like every season, they were in a show. And if the show they were on got canceled, they were instantly put on another show that didn't get canceled. So I knew him from so many things. Did you ever see the show he was on called The Dreams? - It sounds so familiar. - It was between a show that he was on with Jack Plugman called You Again, where he played his adult son that came back and Full House, where he was in a band called The Dreams with Jamie Gertz. And the network was like, this is gonna be a huge hit. They put out an LP with all with him singing all the songs, some of which he wrote. - No. - And it was a huge bomb. It was like the heights, but not as good. - Yikes. - Yeah. - I mean, now that is another one where you're telling me how bad it is and I want nothing more than to just sit down and watch all of it. - I will tell you that is worth watching. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, that is definitely worth watching. - It is just for those musical sequences alone. Yeah. - I do have the LP too. - He's so earnest. He has such an earnest singing choice when he's serenaded or he'll off land on a house. I was like, this is so embarrassing. He was doing The Beach Boys. Or it was like, was it even The Beach Boys? - No, it was after wedding. - He wrote it after wedding. Yeah, after the two-parter when he fell into the tomato truck. - I do wear the tomato truck. - Yeah. The coconut introduction was before that. Where he played drums. He's just a multi-talent. - So are you not watching Full House because you seem like you would be watching. - I'm watching Full House. - Okay, good. - Although I will say that Rescue 911 in sort of the cops category was something I also would always watch because as horrible as this is to say, there's kind of nothing funnier than taking real 911 calls and having the worst actors on earth reenact them. - Reenactments, I love my inactments. - There's not enough reenactments in the world today. - I think that we could go in really weird directions with reenactments. - Yeah. - I mean, basically, I think that's like the void in kind of online media right now. So we need like amateur reenactments of everything. - Why doesn't someone bring back Rescue 911 calls a public record? They're free content. You could take all the 911 calls you want and just have amateur local theater actors reenact them, film it and boom, instant success. - I just feel like they're a little sensitive though. We're in a more sensitive time than mine. - Do you think so that people would be like, these are horrible things that happen to people we can't do that? - I do because I think that like something that I feel like I don't even know how to deal with and it's something that you start feeling old because your response to things is so discordant. But just being offended by things and being like, I'm offended so I want that thing to stop existing. - I don't want anyone to see this. - No one can see it. - Do you think part of that is, did that happen when you think when you had a kid? Do you think part of that's like a protective thing? - I think that, well, no, I think that's how people are. I mean, I don't-- - Well, do you get the more easily offended you are? - I think that it's something that like, no, I feel like younger people are more easily offended than I am. - Now, absolutely. - That's what I mean is like, now, yeah, I mean, I think definitely having a kid you start being like more kind of dog down by everything that you read and you're just like, the world's crumbling like a peanut butter cookie. But like, I feel like people, our age maybe, are less prone to be offended in a proactive way. - Yeah. - We're offended like deep inside and we just kind of-- - Just give it to ourselves. - What right do I have? But now it's like, well, no, you do, everyone has the right to object to be offended. - I mean, I think, to me, it's kind of two things. I think one is sort of from the old man perspective. I feel like in some respects, kids don't have sort of more simple hierarchy of needs things to worry about so that they can almost be more offended by things that don't necessarily affect them sort of physically in a lot of ways. So they can be more academic about what they're offended by. And I feel like, I don't really know why that is, but I feel like, you know, people our age and older were more like, yeah, that's kind of shitty. Anyway, I gotta go do my paper. - Right, yeah, yeah. - Or something like it just seemed like-- - You don't think I've been on a screen about it right now. - I don't have time to worry about it, although I'm sure it's terrible. And I think the other thing is that those, that generation of like millennials was definitely raised in a, you can change the world. - Exactly, yeah. - And we weren't quite. We were kind of raised in a, the world is gonna kill you away. - Yeah. - You're just a little tiny kids. - Yes, yes. - In a really huge world. - Right, so you all matter, you can change the world. And so I think they believe that. And you know, some of it's true, but you get a little, you gotta pick up a house of some of that stuff. - Really messes with our ability to make fun of 911 calls. - Exactly, and that's my point. And I need to make money by making fun of 911 calls. But it was just, I mean, some of them were horrible, but just the, I remember there was one where a little girl fell into a washing machine and the very unconvincing doll they had and a boulder crushed some kid. They were always calls from the South, which I think is so much fun here. And this one is a skydiver who fell to the ground after his parachute failed. Three children in Oklahoma who were left in a car that began to roll towards a busy highway and a Texas youngster attacked by an alligator. I mean, you can already picture the unconvincing alligator that they'll have with William Shatner of all people, narrating. - Like a sock puppet with teeth. - Yeah, it would be, and Full House that night, DJ gets her learner's permit and is ready to roll, hopefully not into traffic with children in Texas, but only with a licensed driver. And that would be Danny who drives her crazy with all his instructions. I definitely watched Full House and a couple years ago, I did a week of shows with Bob Saget. And at first it was very normal. And then by like the third day it hit me and I got very weirded out. And he's super nice. And I was just like, this is really weird. I was watching him like every Friday on Full House, but this is after TJ after his establishment, he moved to Tuesdays. And then like every Sunday on Emoryx, my own videos, very, very strange. It's hard to reconcile. - Right. - And the show was such a huge phenomenon. - I know, and he was so convincing as a person who was just kind of like this one-dimensional nice person. - Yes, yes. - And then you find out there's like other two dimensions of actual human there. - Well, the weird thing was I used to watch a lot of stand up on like showtime and stuff before Full House when I was a kid. So it's seen as like really filthy stand up. - And when Full House started, I was like, that guy is the dead. Like it was really weird to see him as the father. - That's so interesting. Everyone I know came to Full House first. And then yeah. - Yeah, I knew him. Weirdly Full House, all three of the male leads I knew from other stuff before Full House. So like Dave Coolio used to host a show in Nickelodeon called Out of Control, which was great. And then John Stamos, I knew from things like Dreams. And I knew Sarah from Stand Up. So I was like, this is really weird. These guys from these things that I liked are on this show. So I watched it for that, but I, that show is just, it just got worse as it went on, but more entertaining. - Yeah, it was. - Really, yeah. So I don't blame you for that. 7.30 we go with. - Okay, so let's see. Did I even do 7.30? I skipped 7.30, it's one straight to Roseanne at eight. - Okay. So there was not a lot to watch at 7.30 I will say. I would have had a very, very difficult choice. Home improvement was on, which may be my least favorite show over at all. Thank you so much. - Thank you so much. - It's the worst. Honestly, give me chills because I didn't like it so much. - I hate it. - What was it always on after? It was like right in the middle of TJ, I think. - Yeah, it was on Tuesday night, it was on our full house. - Oh, yeah. - The worst show. - Yeah, and then Roseanne at nine. So if you're watching full house in Roseanne, it's- - It's so mean, what do you do to write, I mean, you eat dinner and talk to your family? - You don't know what's to do that. - No. - But that or Tim Allen? - Yeah, it was really rough. - I'm so happy you said that. I've spent so many, so much time on episodes trying to convince people that they're wrong and saying they like- - I understood all improvement. JTT didn't get it. - No. - Didn't, it just wasn't funny. - I was fine with JTT, but I didn't, it was, you know, it was just like you throw a diamond into, you know. - She was the diamond in there, like he could have been so much better. She'd go all the way. I always, the best way I can describe my reaction to watching home improvement is if I was drugged and I woke up in a Hest gas station. - Yes. - That's the feeling I get like, just be like, ooh, like, you know, this is home improvement. - It's dirty and it's too brightly lit. - Yeah, I don't know. - And everyone's bossy. - And I don't know where it is. It could be, yeah, not into home improvement. So I would have gone with Petticoat Junction, which was a great show. Many people don't know it was the originator that Green Acres was spun off from. Both good shows. - Green Acres holds up strangely, like it's- - It's such a good show. - It's pretty good. - It's really smart. - Yeah, it is smart. - And some of the weird fourth wall stuff they did in that show is just way out there. It's very funny, and I don't wanna watch Eddie Albert in anything. No one gets angry like Eddie Albert. Every single episode I'm like, this is the one he's gonna murder everybody. - Yeah, he's so good at having, yeah. - God, like, I know he never swore on Green Acres, but when I think about Green Acres, I can't picture him not swearing. - Yeah, yeah. - Every line I just hear him be like, God damn it, like everything. Like, it's so funny. And Petticoat Junction was good as well, but just, it missed the Eddie Albert. And he was like, "Blore's so funny on that show." People don't, I think people should rediscover that show. I feel like if that was an adult swim show now, they would be huge. - Well, it was weird. I mean, it was airing on Nick and Mike, which was when I was watching it, and that was, man, I had to have been, again, like, I'm probably fifth grade or something, and I was like, this is, it's almost, I'm almost ready, you know? Like, you need to be ready to actually get one. - We're not getting on the extra level. 'Cause they had a lot of anti-Vietnam. - Yeah, there was a lot of layers. - Yeah, there was an episode where she made me an article where Arnold Ziffel, which is the pig on the show, was drafted into the Vietnam War, and it turned into this huge anti-Vietnam. It basically made a farce of the Vietnam War. While it was going on, on what was considered to be a pretty light, wacky sitcom. - Wow. - And it's really funny, and the stuff they got away with on that show is amazing. - It had a very good tone. - Yes. - It never felt like it was going to, like, fly off into something tragic, even when they kind of pushed down. - Yeah, you knew it would always work out in the end, because it was surreal and sort of cartoonish enough that it would do that, but it still managed to tackle some weird issues. And yeah, Eddie Albert just fascinates me. He was a war hero. He saved a whole ship full of people in World War II. Yeah, and he was just like, had this crazy life, and then went into acting. Yeah, that guy, he's very underrated. He's funny. - All right, how do you go to junction and win? - Yeah, fine, how do you go to junction? - So nine o'clock earlier, you're watching Roseanne. - Uh-huh. - Love Roseanne. - But I have an alternate. - Okay, what's your alternate? - Invention, history of Velcro. - You know what, I think that that's the right choice here. - Yeah. - You can watch Roseanne any week. You're not going to watch invention, the history of Velcro. - Is there even a synopsis, or is that, like, all of that? - Invention, history of Velcro, let me see, we have Nova, invention, no, included. It says included the history of Velcro, so it may not be a full hour about the history of Velcro. - I'll take what I can get. - This is the discovery channel, and the discovery channel still showed things like invention, the history of Velcro. - They were like, we discovered. - Yes. - It's Velcro. - It's something we discovered. - Yeah, I definitely would have been intrigued by the history of Velcro. - Yeah. - 'Cause I really don't know anything about Velcro. - When I think about who invented Velcro, like it's all been so obvious, it's probably something like based on, you know, the pads on Gecko's fingers or something, where it's like the little hairs that hold. - Do you think it was named after someone named Velcro? - I can't imagine that it wasn't Velcro. You say that because I'm like, what else it is. - It's like vulcanized robot. - Yeah. - One of them got Louis Pasteur. - Right. - It's Velcro. Now I need to hunt that down as well. - Yeah, please. - So that's the whole night of Tuesday. You're watching that for an hour at Wednesday night, seven o'clock, what are you going on? - Well, I guess I now wanna go flip back and forth because there's Pete and Pete. - Yes, this is a tough night. There's some good stuff on here. - I always watch Pete and Pete, or unsolved mysteries. - So Pete and Pete is the show that I absolutely love. This episode is a fantastic one. This is the offbeat chronicle of two brothers in their final week of school features one boy's quest with his friend to compete final science papers. This is before the show was a regular series. So Pete and Pete started as a series of, it was a short interstitials on Nickelodeon and then became specials that were sort of seasonal. So they did the what we did at our summer vacation. They did a Valentine's one. The Halloweenies was a great episode. This is one of the specials. This is before it became a full fledged series. So I absolutely would have watched it because it wasn't on all the time. It was a big event. This would have been the summer kickoff. And this is a really fun episode. But unsolved mysteries normally had there not been a rare Pete and Pete on in '92. I was absolutely watching that every week. - I think that's kind of my like cops or rescue 911 or whatever. That's, I mean to like the, you know, unsolved mysteries date line 2020, 16 minutes. - So you like the real crime stuff? - Not the ghost and aliens unsolved mysteries? - No. Well, no, I'll go with ghost and aliens sometimes. It depends on how credible the people seem. Like a wacky hair or if they're like cold sleep drugs. No, let's skip it, but. - You used to scare you? Most people were terrified by unsolved mysteries. - No, it didn't scare me. - Really? - Yeah. - You were one of the rare human beings on earth that were not scared by unsolved mysteries. - I was very scared. - Nothing's featured as a kid. You weren't a jump in your bed so something doesn't grab you. - I mean death scared me. - Death somewhat scary. - I have like a little bit of some LCD going on. - Gotcha. - I was like, you know, mostly like I was scared to be like disorganized or if I saw someone who seemed like maybe they were disorganized or afraid of death, I was like, wow. - Can I help them? - Can I help them? - Right. - But like that, I was super into like spooky stuff. - Okay, okay. - Being afraid of the dark. - Yes. - I started reading Stephen King pretty early in life and then became like a very like dark and crazy. - As did I. I think that might be a New England thing as well. - It might be, yeah. - 'Cause there's definitely parts of Stephen King that when you grew up in a New England state for the most part, you're like, yeah, this is about here. - Exactly. - Dairy. - Yeah. - I met him once, I waited on him when I worked at a steakhouse at the Hilltop Steakhouse in Sargas, Massachusetts and he used to come in there on his way to Red Sox games and he got a filet mignon and a grape nut custard and he left me my tip in two dollar bills. - Can we hold it for the grape nut custard? - Yes, yes. You've never had a grape nut custard? - No. - It's basically like a flan type custard with crushed grape nuts as the base. - I hate grape nuts for so much. - Everyone hates grape nuts. But they're not bad in a grape nut custard. - How not though? It's 'cause they're dust? - No, they're like soaked, so they're like moist. They're not like the weird gross crunchy pebbles. - They taste like yeast, but they look like bug bodies, so it's just grape nuts. - Yes, usedy bug bodies is the original name of grape nuts. - I remember being like so excited to try grape nuts when I was a kid 'cause I'm like grapes, nuts, grapes. - It's not alone. - It's cereal, yeah, I know. - Not alone. I once convinced someone that because grape nuts had nothing to do with grapes or nuts, that they were named that because the person who invented them was named last name was grape nuts. Just like you know, German chocolate cake is not German. The person who invented his name was German. So that's where I got the idea, and I told them that it was named after someone whose last name was grape nuts, and they believe me. - And there's a Velcro somewhere and a grape nut laughing. - Velcro grape nuts, yes, yes. - You could probably use grape nuts as Velcro, and it would be better than eating it. - It's also like cat litter. - Yes, I wonder if anyone's tried to do that. - I mean, it's probably cheaper than cat litter. Cat litter is so expensive. - It is really expensive, especially the good clumping kind. - That's what I'm talking about. - I might do like a web video, like on YouTube and instructional like how to save money, use grape nuts for cat litter, but then just put it out there like it's a true thing, and see if people try it to see what works. - And see if they're like the reviews like, "I tried this, but cat's worse!" - Ooh, it's worse! - We can't eat all of them. - I can't die. But there was also David Copperfield special, the mystery of the Orient Express, where he did an interactive mystery card trick with "You the Viewer" by placing the cards on the screen. It was just a math trick, basically, where it's like count to this way, do this way and now I know what your card is. Wasn't his most impressive thing. And "The Wonder Years" was on, which was something I watched all the time. However, "Wonder Years" and David Copperfield repeats on some mysteries, Pete and Pete, first run. - That's insane. - Yeah, definitely. So eight o'clock, what are you going on with? - I went with "Doody Auser." Show I could never get into. - Really? - I couldn't get into it. - I feel like he was like the world's first, well, I guess probably not the world's first vlogger. - That's true. - You know, but he was pretty early on the scene. - I always used to compare his post-episode journal entry to Mr. Belvedere's post-episode journal entry. - That is brilliant. - I just thought it would end the same way. And I was like, hmm, I don't like his as much. I don't know why. - Mr. Belvedere was a great show. - It was a fantastic show, very weird show. - I guess I was always just like, it's not a bar that was so high that it made me feel better about how mediocre I was as a student. - 'Cause he was a doctor and a kid. - Yeah. - I mean, it just, I think that's what turned me off. Was that it was so, it just seems so silly. Like it was so unrealistic to me. - I totally bought it. I was like, this is probably based on a real guy named you. - No, I'm not just joking. Like if the show had been like a show about a 14 year old president in the United States, I think how people would react to that was how I reacted to do that. - I was just like, come on. And I also didn't like, for some weird reason at this time, I also watched stuff like 30 something. - I love 30 something. - And sisters and these sort of adult dramas. And there were a lot of that sort of thing in aspects of Doogie Hauser because it was a dramedy and the sort of medical drama pieces. I was like, yeah, more of that. Like I wish there was more about the other characters that wanted them. - More of the surgery. - Yeah, I want more. You lost the patient. Like that was, 'cause the stuff that about that show is interesting was the stuff that I ended up loving on like Scrubs in "The Orange", "Chicago Hope". So in that respect, it could have been better with that. But I didn't really care about him being like, "Oh, Wanda." - Yeah. - I just didn't. - I don't know, my computer. - Yeah, yeah. - And then it just, it was so, it reminded me of like cutscenes from the wrap around of "Stand by Me". - Oh, no, how much? - Yeah, it was like, it was very similar. 'Cause I was so joy who was like, and Chris died and instantly just like, "Ah, come on." - I feel you. I think there was something very charming from the beginning about Neil Patrick Harris. To me, where I was like, "This guy's gonna be somebody. "He's a doctor already." - Yeah. - And a child actor. - I believe he could be a doctor and a teenage magician. - Exactly. - Yeah, I just, I'm probably the only person on our three never got into the Neil Patrick Harris thing. - I forgive you. - Fine, fair enough. We agree to disagree. I would have gone with Seinfeld. It was the second season of Seinfeld. And this was, Jerry finds his witness when a library cop says he's 20 years overdue with a steamy novel, which is a fantastic episode. Philip Baker Hall plays the library cop. It's a really good one. No question, I wouldn't come with that over doogie, but understandable. - That's fair. I think I'm less into Seinfeld than I know I should be. Like, I haven't achieved my potential there yet. - Well, see, Seinfeld, controversially, I think I really enjoyed when it was on. And now I think is the most dated sitcom of the 90s. It feels dated to me too. And I feel guilty because I'm like, I know it was a good show and I know it was a smart show. And like, there are 10 episodes that I'm like, those are probably among the best episodes of TV I've seen. But then all the rest, I'm like this. - Yeah, no, I agree with you. I don't think that show holds up that well. And it's also a show that sort of started the all the lead characters are unlikable, bad people. Which I think is relied upon way too much now in television. And it's like, I don't wanna see show where everyone's a bad person. - Also, since being things that are scary, people just walking into your house. - That's scary. - It's so scary. - That never happened. - Like friends are not friends. It doesn't matter to me. - Yeah. - The idea is so invasive, like it's horrible. - I don't know why my parents used to get mad. Like after I'd moved out and I still had a key if I would come in, they would get really mad. - Really? I mean, it's very jarring and strange. - It is in hindsight, like I get that now. - Yeah. - Yeah, if our neighbor just walked in, that'd be very, very strange. - It would be horrible. I mean, imagine Kramer, like, and he just comes in and it's like, to me, I'm like, if he came into my house, it would never be funny. - Oh yeah. I'd be like, what are you doing in here? - Yeah, get out. - Yeah. I would, you know what would be almost more terrifying is if you were forced to go into someone else's apartment and bike. - That is terrifying too. - I would rather not do that than have them come into mind. - That's a really good point. - I would, like, the whole show would just be me standing in front of the door sweating. - Yeah. - And they'd be like, yeah, and they'd be like, you have to do, like, I can't do that. What a game show that should be. - What if they're in the middle of something? - You can't knock, you can't knock, you have to just go in. Yeah, I couldn't do that, absolutely not. You never got, like, the two familiar neighbor thing. We knew our neighbors, but I don't think we ever, come on, they didn't come over. We didn't go over. - Yeah, mad it off. I mean, growing up, when I lived in New York, when I was a kid, we lived above a primal scream therapist. - Jesus, was that terrifying? - You know, again, with the bed, I'm like, now I understand the bedtime. - Yeah. - 'Cause I think that some of it was at night and probably, I was on, like, the upper floor. And so I feel like I may have just, like, written it off. It's, like, something of childhood that everyone has. Just, like, yelling at night. - People screaming at night. - Yeah, like an unproven psychological theory. - A short living New York, they yell at night. - Yeah, so they do, they just scream. - Yeah, and so, like, if someone had wandered in, maybe that's why the fear, too, is, like, someone wanders in, they've just come out as primal scream therapy. - Yeah, so they're just shouting. Yeah, I think that would be very different. Yeah, and in Seinfeld, it's an apartment in New York. They're just warning it. And I would believe that Kramer had been to primal scream therapy. - Right, yeah. But it didn't, he wasn't working for him. - No, I remember one time I locked my, I was a latchkey kid. No surprise there. And I'd forgotten my key, and I was maybe 10 years old, and we had these neighbors at the O'Connell's, and the mother had come home and she's like, "What are you doing?" And I was like, "Ah, I locked myself out." She's like, "Oh, I'm way over our house." And which is reasonable. They were, like, perfectly normal, reasonable, they had, like, a teenage daughter. And I was like, "No." And then it started raining. And I really did a little bathroom. And she was like, "Come on." And I'm like, "Ah, it's fine." I don't think my dad was coming home for, like, an hour. So she was like, "Don't put your dick on this, come on." And I just sat, like, on their couch, like, petrified. - Oh, it's so terrifying. - It was horrific. I was like, "Why is this terrifying?" - It's weird because you just don't understand the rules. Like, there's this thing of, like, house rules. Like, every house is totally different. - Yeah, am I gonna say the wrong thing? - Yeah. - Yeah. - They could enslave you. - I might use the wrong towel. - Uh-huh. - I remember I, I was sitting in the living room and I was right by the vent. And the teenage daughter, I was maybe 10. She was, like, probably 16, maybe younger. She was doing her laundry and was singing some camp song of, "God bless my underwear." - No. - And I was just, like, felt like I was gonna get in trouble for hearing it. But I'm like, "I can't not," like, "I can't get up and leave where they put me," 'cause I don't wanna wander around their house. But also, I can't shut off my hearing. - Right. - And like, she's gonna come up and yell at me. And she came with us. There's a Blondry basket and saw me standing there or sitting on the couch and like, knew him. It was very, it was very, I never forgot my key after that. - Yeah. - Oh, I got an extra key. So, 730, did you say where you're going with 730? - Um, I think, well, wait a sec. Did I just go from Doogie Houser? - Oh, Doogie Houser was 8. - That was 8. And then I had-- - 830. - I had seriously, again, who's the boss? - Yes. So, this is a repeat. They tried to move it back to Wednesdays, very briefly, in a vain attempt to save the show. Did not work, not really surprising. Also, the show was probably at its worst this year. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I don't know what I was thinking. When I look at it, I'm just like, why would I have watched Two Who's the Bosses? Like, from the latter days, I guess I feel sorry for them? - Yeah, pity watching happens. - I can remember their house so well. - Yes. - I think I like to revisit me. - I didn't mind the theme song. That's one nice thing I could say about it. - And I liked Danny Pintour from Cujo. - Uh-huh, and like a listen water. - Yes, yeah. I actually really liked the spin-off Living Dolls with Leah Remedy more than Who's the Boss. - I didn't even watch Living Dolls. - Living Dolls was very short. Holly Berry was in it, was her first role. It was about teenage models back to "House of Style." Makes sense. - You have always been so into the fashion. - Yeah, I love the fashion. I liked Shalom Harlow. - Oh, yeah, absolutely. - And she hosted "House of Style" survived multiple hosts with no different quality. - So Daisy Fuentes, Cindy Crawford started it. Then you had Shalom Harlow, and she co-hosted it with-- - Yeah, another one. - Oh, I can't remember her name. She's a blonde girl. - She was basically exactly like Shalom Harlow, but blonde. - But with blonde hair. Yeah, and then there was a final host who went in like the late '90s. She had like pink hair. She was like kind of wacky. - I wish I could, I mean, I feel like Tommy Gevinson if she had been-- - Maybe, yeah. - Like an early '90s person should have just taken "House of Style" and made it into like an entire network. - They should bring, well, haven't they? - Have they? - The style network, right, "House of Style"? That's very different, yeah. I don't think you could do that show now. I don't think the sort of vibe of, it was so New York-y that show. - Yeah, I know. But if you'd also had like a tumbler, or like what tumbler is now of like-- - True. - Use culture, but it's for everyone who wants to be cool. - Yeah, I mean, I was admittedly reading "Sassy Magazine" a lot at this time. - It was so good. - And "The Boy" version, "Dirt" for when it was out. And so it all kind of fit into that sort of pre, like it was that alt revolution it was about to happen. And yeah, all this sort of cool-- - Zines. - Zines. - We would refer to Maira's like Harvard Square stuff. - Ooh. - Yeah, so it was like that kind of stuff was all about to hit. And I think that "House of Style" sort of had that going on before they go. Vintage cool things still are kind of stuff. So yeah, definitely we're going with that. You had no other choices, I will say, at 8.30. So you should not feel bad. - That must explain it. - About who's the boss. Really, the only real thing on was a Howie Mandel special. - I know, and I couldn't do it. And I was also like, "Howie Mandel, man." - Here's the thing-- - And my buddy was like a young whippersnapper. - Yeah, no, he's been around forever. I mean, he and his-- - It's just like so long ago. - He was on "St. Elsewhere." - Right, oh, right. - But this is the only thing that someone intrigues me about the Center Mandel special. It says chronicling the comics 1991 summer tour included performance clips, backstage footage, also a visit from Mr. T. - Just throw that in there. - Just throw it at the end. - Yeah, bury it in the lead with that one. So Thursday night, seven o'clock, what are you going with? - Seven o'clock, I said maybe Simpsons. - Yeah, so this is when it was up against Cosby. - Yeah. - This is before the Simpsons really got its Sunday night final hold that it is still on now. And this is a repeat from last season. This is Homer's boss, gubernatorial candidate says, "Natural selection caused the three-eye fish caught behind the nuclear plant." This is with Blinky the Fish. This was one of the first sort of controversial episodes. This was when I used to watch the Simpsons. I did give up around season four, which you kind of said you did as well. - It was, I hung on for a bit. It was one of those things that I felt really guilty about not watching anymore because I knew it was good. - Right. - But I also knew that I didn't really care because I wanted them all to grow up. I guess that's my problem with like a lot of cartoons. - They never move on? - Well, the nuclear family cartoons always bother me that way where it's like, I want to see like something actually changed that is changing forever. And I want to see like Maggie talk. And I want to see, you know, I wanted, I wanted Bart at a certain point. I was like, God, he's got, can you not be 18 now? - Right, so the holding pattern of it was annoying. - Yeah, well, just after so long, but like I'll still, I mean, I still watch the, you know, Treehouse of horror stuff. - Right, but those are always just kind of their own thing. - Yeah, they're their own thing. - Yeah, especially if you're enjoying Stephen King. - Right, exactly, yeah. Then you're watching all the stuff on Halloween. - Yeah, I feel like the Treehouse of horror is episodes. I have to watch to just test that. I've retained information to get references. So I'm like, it's almost like, yep, everything checks out. It's like an inspection sticker for your car every year. You're like, fine, we can go another year. I'm now studying to do, it's perfectly fine. This is a repeat. I don't know if I would have gone with it. The Young Riders Show was on, which was a television rip off of Young Guns 2. Not even Young Guns. It was a rip off of Young Guns 2, which was huge to the point where I'm not entirely sure Young Guns one existed. - Yeah. - I can't find anyone has ever seen it. I've never seen a copy of it. I think it might have just, it's like Leonard Part Six. - Yeah, yeah. - Which is Young Guns 2. Young Riders, not a good show, but really tried to make a TV series out of that. And we had Top Cops, which took the Formula Rescue 911, mixed it with the Formula from Cops, and made a show that ripped off both of them. - Well, how? - They took Cops dashboard cam recordings, and then re-enacted them. - I mean, that actually sounds fantastic. - That was pretty good. So in this episode, New York's David Chong recalls an undercover operation to nab suspects dealing guns to gangs, and also repeat segments with California officers, William Freeman, who remembers tracking a murder suspect, and brothers Ralph and Stewart Friedman. - The brothers Friedman. - Yeah, the brothers Friedman, everyone's seen that movie based on that, of course. Also on Family Channel, I should mention there's a game show called That's My Dog. - Yeah, I thought about doing That's My Dog, but you know again, I've seen the dogs. - That's true. And I remember what that game show was, and it was just like you'd make your dogs run agility courses and stuff. But I think it'd be really funny if the game show was just like, they take your dog, they put him in a lineup with eight other dogs, and it's really stupid people, and they're like, "Which one's your dog?" - Okay, that's actually a really good idea, because do you ever wonder, you have a dog, I have a dog? - Yeah. - If you lost your dog, say. And then, what if, like, dog pounds, I mean, what if it was just that day, there were, like, two other dogs who looked exactly-- - The same breed? - Yeah. - 'Cause if they're the same breed, they're really hard to tell apart. - And especially if you have, like, I'm saying, like, a yellow lab. - Yeah. - I'm sorry, guys. They're all-- - You know, they have the same personality. - Same personality. Their ears mostly, like, back. - If they had social security numbers, they would all be the same. - All be the same, their clones. - Yeah. There's just one master dog. - Yeah. - It should be, that's my dog? - Yeah, that one? - They're all your dogs. - Yeah. - That's the lesson there. - This is a game show that should happen. It should go right on after popcorn. I would have gone with absolutely, since this is June 25th, 1992, and I still watch this every year at a kickoff summer, one crazy summer is on. Fantastic movie. - I haven't seen one crazy summer. - It's Savage Steve Holland. It's in his unfinished seasons films. So the first one's Better Off Dead, which is his winter movie. One crazy summer is the summer movie, and how I got into college is his autumn movie. Never made a spring movie. - Really? - Also, totally unofficial. This has never been enough. This is just my theory on his film cycles. - I was totally buying it. I was like, "Wow, what a super spring, why?" - Yes, yes, you know. But one crazy summer is great. John Cusack, Bob Kent Goldthway, it's a great summer movie. Shotten in Tuckett, Joel Murray, the most underrated Murray brother. Demi Moore in an early role. - Really? - Singing her own songs. - What were they like? - Oh, you really should see it. - Okay, thought-- - They're pretty fantastic. - My evening's clear that she's-- - She was in two movies as a singer, where she sang her own songs. - I mean, what is it like, though? - Well, one of them was called No Small Affair, with her and John Crier. And they're very husky sort of like black velvet. - Yeah. - It's all a lot of miles. - Yeah, yeah. - One crazy summer, they're more like really, like if you took a Pat Benatar song that's meant to be played on 45 and played it on 33, that's what this song's gonna be more sings and one crazy summer away. - Soul. - Yeah, great movie. So I'm watching that for the whole evening. 730, what are you going with? - Well, I skipped ahead to eight. - Okay, so you missed out on Different Worlds and Drexel's class. - I know Drexel's class, Daphne Coleman, right? - Yeah, Daphne Coleman. - I did like Drexel's class, but I guess in my mind, I was just like, you know, I thought maybe I'd be watching The Simpsons and then afterwards I could probably get a snack. - You just need some time, or maybe you're watching Duff videos on MTV. - Duff videos, yeah. - Yeah, Daphne, Duff. And so eight p.m., what'd you go with? - I went with Cheers, I believe. Is that-- - Yeah, Cheers is on. Yep, this is the final season of Cheers. - So is that, did I get this right? - I wrote, I might not say, making will comma fertility doctor, or did I mash up like Frasier in there? - No, so this is Frasier, a box at making out his will, while Sam would rather die than have Rebecca's fertility. Doctor, tell him he's not of sound body. - Okay, then that was supposed to be a Cheers or a Frasier maybe. - So that's Cheers, yes. This is before Frasier has spun off. And I love Cheers. I've never been there, it doesn't like Cheers, but I couldn't get into Frasier. - My timeline is so messed up, but I love Frasier. I actually like weirdly, Cheers was something that my parents always watched, and then I got into the theater. - It's an older, seeming show, absolutely. - The intro used to make me like, I feel like everything I'm like, is used to make me depressed. - It's sad, no it is, it's about alcoholics hanging out in a bar and having no family, essentially, I mean. - It's so sad. - It really is, it really is. - So I guess I saw Frasier in my mind, they're all kind of scrambled. I also watched, re-watched Frasier like last year. - Right. - My friends Emily and Molly and I did a podcast on Grandland that was centered around Frasier, and I was like, well, let's go back, and then I ended up watching a ton of Cheers. Also when I was like, I'm at a great point in my life for Cheers. - Yeah, Cheers is really good. - It's so good. - And the thing I didn't like about Frasier was, it's so different from Cheers. It's not like Cheers at all. And Frasier is really almost a completely different character. - Oh yeah. - It's in name, yes, but it's, the way that character is on Frasier is so different from Cheers. It's like fan fiction almost. - It is very fan fiction-y. - But there's something about the vibe of Frasier, the felt very comforting. Like their apartment was, you know? - Yeah, it's not as grim as Cheers, actually. But then Cheers is also shot on film, and has like a gritty look to it. - It's pretty, yeah. - And it's in a bar. It's in a bar. It's not in a nice expensive apartment in Seattle. And a shot on video also looks kind of, you know, shinier and more new, and has a cute dog. - Right, of course. - Which Cheers did not have. This is the final season of Cheers, and yeah, this show was always good. It never dipped in quality. This episode was a little wacky. I didn't quite like when Sam and Rebecca were together. I kind of liked it better when they were sort of, I was hoping, even at the time, when I was eight, I was like, boy, I hope they don't have a will, they won't do it with them. - Really? - 'Cause like, it just got ruined. I love Shelly Long, and it kind of, it was like, can't you introduce a female character? - Yeah. - And not have that be the, like, then you're just replacing the person who left. And they got away from it a little bit by making her just a complete and same person by the end of the season, which was good. - She was flighty. - Yeah, but just also super neurotic in, like, nuts. - Yeah. - So that was definitely the big, great show. 8.30, what'd you go with? - Oh, let's see. Did I even have an 8.30? Wait a sec, are we on Thursday? So yeah, I skipped ahead to 7 p.m. on Friday. - There is nothing worth watching. - Yeah. - 8.30, there's four choices. There's a show called Homefries, which was not good. There is the Lone Ranger, the Dick Van Dyke show, or Someone to Watch Over Me, which is a made-for TV movie with Tom Barringer. - Yikes. - Yeah, I would have probably owned Dick Van Dyke out of that. - I mean, I usually go, I really like Dick Van Dyke, but also reminds me so much of being sick. - Yeah. - Thank you. - 'Cause there was always a marathon. - There was. It was like, I love, bewitched, and I dream a genie, and the monsters in the Adams family. But 99 times out of 100 if I was watching those shows, I was trying not to vomit. - Yeah, yeah, exactly. - Nothing to do with shows. - But it kind of adds to it if you're watching something like the monsters, which is just like, man, I'm sick. - Yeah. - And monsters, yeah, it makes sense. - Smells like ashes in their heads. - Exactly, exactly. So the final night of the week, 7 o'clock, what are you going with? - Can you guess? - I'm guessing it's family matters. - I did America at Risk Team Problems. - So you were really hitting the team problems this week between the Sinbad Rap and Rook. So this is America at Risk 60-minute-long documentary series, teens discuss the problems they face in their hopes for the future. - Yeah. - I would watch that without a second's hesitation right now. - Right. - Documentary from 1992 interviewing teenagers, already amazing. - Because you're like, what's wrong with the world? And how would you fix your 14-year-old Derek? - Let me tell you, I know exactly what the problem is. Yeah, in 90s. - They won longer breaks at school. - It will be like their speech for being class president. - Exactly, yeah. - More snack machines for like everyone. - People should like stop being bad. It would be that level of thing. - Don't be a jerk, anyone. - Probably a mention of AIDS. - Definitely. - Maybe recycling might be mentioned once or twice. But for the most part, I think it would be complaining about that or something about Michael Jordan. - A Michael Jordan version. - Yeah, he would have to come up at some point. - Hey, why not Michael Jackson too? - Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson. We're working together a lot in 1992. - That's what I'm saying. - Yeah, the Michaels, back on the Michaels. But I also put, by the way, that America's Most Wanted was looking really good. - So did you watch that every week? - I watched America's Most Wanted a lot. - See, that show used to scam me sometimes. Despite the really bad reenactments. - Really bad reenactments. Did you ever see anyone on America's Most Wanted that you thought you saw in real life? - Like every single episode. - Really? And for the whole week, you'd be like, I've seen that guy. - Well, I was just like, I was like, where was he? I've seen him, I know that face. And it's like, you know why you know that face? Because you saw it five on your screen like three times. - Did you ever call, did you ever, how close did you ever get to call? - I came very close. I actually do remember that I was like pretty, pretty young, watching America's Most Wanted and was like, I think I should call. - Did you watch it with your parents or were you alone watching it? - I feel like they were never that into it. But like they probably stuck around just to be like, how messed up is this for a kid to watch? This one sounded like a pretty crazy one. - This one is pretty crazy. So they start off by saying scheduled. 'Cause they want you to know, if this isn't what's on, don't get mad at them. - Yeah, exactly. - They told you this was just what we scheduled. - We could yank it. He updates on a former peace activist wanted for murdering his girlfriend and a scapey, convicted of killing his wife, a convicted multiple murderer who escaped after serving 15 years of his five life sentences. - I was like, how could I miss that? - That would scare me, see that? I would be scared by that. - You're not into it? - I don't know, I would watch it. But I also, for some reason, John Walsh's like, tough guy thing bothered me. - Well, he was very paternalistic. - Yeah, understandably so. - Yeah. - Like he would just like, like Robert Stack, my muscle mysteries kind of like had a wink, wink thing going on. But like John Walsh had this thing like, I would get at least people myself, I just don't have the time. - Yeah, absolutely. - And he would like, chide you for not helping. - Yeah, oh yeah. - Like you just kind of be like, you've seen him call. - You do make a difference. - Yeah. - Whether or not you choose to be lazy. - Go hunt these people down. What are you doing? Yeah. - It was very like vigilante kind of. But that's a thing that's so weird about him, is that you, when I started watching the show, I like only later found out, his old-- - Crazy backstory. - Yeah. - A talkeded son. And then I was like, I've gotta help this man. I've gotta watch his show. - Yeah. - I've gotta catch these murders. - We support every endeavor that he does. Yeah, I, very weird that a guy who sort of basically became famous for a tragedy, that he sort of became a vigilante from, then got a television series. - Yeah. And it ran forever. And then remember it was just on lifetime and then they had to pull it. - He pulled it 'cause he was done with it. - Yeah. - Which is not 'cause we don't have wanted people. - Right, right. - And he's like, eh, it's over. - I've only done it for like 30 years or something. - Yeah, it's got enough people. - Yeah. - I'm gonna go move to Florida. - Tails are full. - Yeah. What are we gonna do? It's the crime systems broken. I probably would have watched the much lighter fare, Tall Tales and Legends on the Disney Channel. - Oh. - And this was produced by Shelley Devall. This was a follow up to a series she did on Showtime called Fairtail Theater, where they had sort of famous people reenact classic fairytales and this was Tall Tales, the same thing. This is from as Steve Gutenberg as Pecos Bill. - Ooh. - That's intriguing. - Yeah, that's enough. - And also, I should mention Mark for Death is on, on the movie channel. Maybe Steven Segal's best movie. - That's unquestionably. - Fighting killer Jamaicans. - Yeah. - Who doesn't wanna see Steven Segal funny killer Jamaicans? - The only non-chilled Jamaicans he could find. - Exactly. So, 730, you're still watching America at risk. - I'm still watching America at risk. And then, but then I actually, well, whatever. - I'm sort of rethinking my 8 p.m. But I'm just gonna go with it even though it's gonna make me feel-- - Where'd you go with? - Dinosaurs. - Oh no, there's a great show. - But you know, dinosaurs, I was just thinking, there was, wasn't there something written about it recently? I thought I like saw it mention it. I was like, that's a show I have mixed feelings about having watched. - It's come up a lot recently because when people say like the 10 darkest endings of shows, that's always on the list. - It was a medium, right? Wiped him out? - Well, no, it was actually what happened. That show was extremely subversive. So it was the most left-wing show ever, that I can imagine. And it was every sort of hippie ideal that Henson had put in a mainstream show that now would be people would freak out about. But what happened was that the dinosaurs through pollution due to corporate greed caused a new ice age. - That's okay, ice, yeah. - And they all, the last shot is them all freezing to death. - That was what it was 'cause I was like, was it a meteor that somehow caused an ice age? It's obviously that's how science and why their works through. - But then that would completely absolve them of blame and we could have that. - This is like they did it to themselves. - Yeah, and it was, that's exactly what it was. However, we're seeing it as a kid and being like, we're all screwed. - Yeah. - Yeah, very grim, very grim. - Dinosaurs was one of those weird things that gave me, like maybe I was scared of watching dinosaurs. - Well, the costumes were kind of scary. - They were scary. - They were almost too realistic and it's that I'm tiny thing where it's like-- - You hear them like clapping around on the set, which was weird, like they seemed heavy and the actors you could feel were unhappy in there. - Yeah, yeah. - But I kind of liked it anyway. - It is, I mean, I loved Henson stuff and I think he was on a roll of doing the best stuff ever grip before he died. Like I loved the storyteller, which was amazing. And Muppets Tonight was the most underrated Muppets Show. It's great, despite Digit being on it, who's terrifying. But that was such a smart, funny, weird show and also was sort of an evolution of the Muppets Show without being really retro. Which is the reason I didn't like the Muppet movie, the new one. - It was retro. - Everyone thought they didn't understand, I'm like, I don't like it. 'Cause it was like, it was too much looking back and the Muppets never did that. - I agree. - It was always continued to move forward and still be relevant and funny, which is why Muppets Tonight, no one ever seems to talk about it anymore. - No, I love Muppets Tonight. - It was great. - I'm gonna say one of those weird things that you say and then you're like, I should've Googled this before I said it, but didn't Jim Henson have like plans? Do you know, if he had like plans for a disco or some weird high concept thing? - To do like an amusement park or a disco movie? - Yeah, it was something like that. It's worth-- - Around the time he died? - Maybe later. - Maybe, that wouldn't surprise me. - He was like an abandoned plan from the '70s I thought. - I remember that Sid and Marty Croft had an amusement park in Atlanta that they had bought land for and had plans drawn up for and then they had to abandon it. - I feel like this was something else. - We can look into it. - Yeah, well, we'll do-- - Yeah, this sounds good, yeah, absolutely. 'Cause some of the weird experimental movies that Henson did in the '60s, like it wasn't only did The Box. Really crazy, yeah, really crazy. And I always wondered what would have happened if he had sort of a parallel career to Frank Oz and did sort of non-childrens, well, not that Dark Crystal's, that children's movie. - It kind of is though. - It is, I mean, it's a fantasy movie, but if he did some like real actor adult movies, I think he could've done some really cool, weird stuff. - Oh, absolutely. - 'Cause the storyteller was in that direction and some of those are amazing. - Great, yeah. - I'm losing. And again, that's another thing that never gets re-aired, no one ever seems to-- - I feel like it freaks people out, but if you're into like spooky things-- - But that's what those kind of fairy tales are supposed to do. - Right, of course, yeah. - Yeah, I mean, that's what they're for. - He was just too good at it. It's like too effectively spooked sometimes. - True, yeah, true. - Yeah, Dark Crystal, I was super into when I was younger and then now, do you ever see people like real, just humans, or-- - Skelflings? - That look like, yeah. - Yeah, I think you probably see that more out here. 'Cause there is definitely certain parts of cosmetic surgery that cause people to look exactly like gigglings. - I feel like there's, we're in that way, that some people, and it's like just a particular kind of like cute, pig-seish person, but it's true. - You're just like, that's a dark, crystal right there. - Yes, you're a dark crystal person. - Yeah. - Yeah, I don't see people though that look like the scale, the scalelings or whatever. - No. - So that's good. - Thank you, yeah. - That's good, yeah. - We're safe for them. - We're safe from that. So you're watching that at seven o'clock until eight, 'cause that's an hour of America's most wanted. - Well then I watched dinosaurs out there. - On dinosaurs is a half hour. - Oh shoot. - So you didn't run anything at 8.30? - No, well tell me what I should have watched. - So there's two choices here. I would have watched probably sightings for the full hour, which is this lazy or unsolent mysteries. - Yeah. - But also at 8.30, we have a totally hidden video which is the Fox rip off of Merckus Pointers and videos, this is a special episode with Mickey Dolens and USA Network is airing a swamp thing. - I love swamping. - Which is, was a great sort of slash bad show. - Yeah. - Which could have been a lot better, so I would have gone with swamp. - I was really into swamp things. - Yeah. - I guess I thought the dinosaurs was an hour because it gave me so much to think about that they spelled that way. - That's true, we needed a half hour reflection of the dinosaurs. - Yeah, just to deal with it. - I think that's fair. I think that's fair. Just three or nine years old and be like, I'm just gonna need a half hour. - I need a minute. - Yeah, please, please everybody. So that is the end of the week. This TV Guide edition does not have any Cheers or Cheers. TV Guide has decided to remain completely unopinionated this week for some reason. So if you have a Cheer and a G.R. for television this week of June, 1992, what would they be? - I think the Cheer is for giving a voice to all of the young teenagers who have concerns and hopes for the future. It's a really strong theme. - It's true. - It's like you're done with school now, like helps the adults solve the country. - Right, and let Sinbad help you. - And let Sinbad help you. - Yes. - From the young lives. - Yes. - And then I think I would have to jeer, I guess I would have to jeer the fact that they killed who's the boss, really, because like we're watching it. - You wouldn't want it to go on? - Yeah. - Oh, okay. - No, just let it. - They didn't let it die on its own. - Yeah. - It didn't have any dignity the way. When I saw that I would be watching it and then we talked about it in the description. I was like, you know, I feel terrible. - They put it out to pasture. - They did. - Yeah. - They put it on an iceberg and just sailed it out. - They shoot dances, don't they? - They just pull the whole, let's hope so. - Oh. - He seems unkillable. - Yeah. - That guy's got nine lives. - He does. - And a lot of series where he played a guy named Tony. - Pretty much every time. - In fact, yeah. I think he was only ever played care of his name Tony. - Yeah, maybe he just can't respond if it's not his real name. - That's possible. - Really Andrew and he just won't talk to you. - It'd be funny if there was an actor who had that problem. So for every role, he legally changed his name to that character's name. - Got the library. - He was like, yeah. - It's like, God, I helped a series last a long time. But I don't want to have to do all this paperwork again next year. - I have jury duty and I can't change you back before then. - Yes, oh man. - Yeah. - All the dudes to my home wearing this thing. Well, thank you, Tess, for doing the show. It's been a lot of fun. - Thanks so much, Doctor. (upbeat music) - And that was our episode with Tess Lynch. I hope you enjoyed it. I very much enjoyed speaking with her and recording it. And as I said, you probably want to follow her in social media. She's a good writer and is always entertaining. All the links to her Tumblr, Twitter, all that stuff is up on tvguidescounselor.com or you can just Google her as well. It should be very easy to find. As well as her past articles for Grant Land, they'll should still all be up on their website. And I want to remind you, I will be on the West Coast in January for the Riot LA Comedy Festival. We will be doing another live TV guidance counselor at 4 p.m. at the Smell on Saturday, January 17th at the Smell in downtown LA at 4 p.m. Definitely come down, go to the whole festival if you're in the area or get to the area. It's always a good time. This will be the third time I've gone and I always love it. It's one of my highlights of my year. So definitely hope to see you there. Please come down four o'clock. You can find information about our super secret guest on tvguidescounselor.com as well as on our Facebook page. So please email me as always, Canadaicamery.com or tvguidescounselor@gmail.com. Go on our Facebook page, review the show, like the show on iTunes. It's a huge help and I love hearing from you guys. And we will see you again next Wednesday on an all new episode of TV guidance counselor. (upbeat music) - Yeah, I thought about doing that to my dog, but you know, again, I've seen the dogs.
