TV Guidance Counselor
TV Guidance Counselor LIVE! w/ Amy Sedaris
You have a TV? No. I just like to read the TV guide. Read the TV guide. You don't need a TV. Hello everybody. Welcome. It's Friday. It's a special edition TV guidance counselor. This is a live edition of TV guidance counselor that we taped this week at the Brooklyn Brewery in Brooklyn, New York, as part of New York Super Week, and it was a lot of fun. This was our first live event, so I was a little bit nervous, I was a little bit wary of how it might go. But I think it went very well. We had a ton of people come out. I love saying hello to you guys. It was great to meet people who actually listened to the podcast outside of my state and outside of people that I already know. So that was really cool for me. And it's always great to talk to Amy Sederas. I always have fun chatting with her, so this was a fun chat. We do talk about a lot of visual stuff because I scanned some TV guide ads from the particular issue that Amy was looking at and we projected them since it's a live podcast and people can see. But I will put those up on TVguidescounselor.com. So if you want to see exactly what the hell we're talking about, go to TVguidescounselor.com while you listen and it will make more sense, or it might make less sense if what you pictured is different. Also, I want to announce our second live event. This is a big deal. November 8th in Boston as part of the Boston Comedy Festival at 3 p.m. at the Davis Square Theatre. My guest for our second live TVguidescounselor will be the one and only Mr. Emmanuel Lewis. That's right. Webster himself, Mr. Emmanuel Lewis will be my guest at the Boston Comedy Festival on November 8th. It's a Saturday at 3 p.m. and it's going to be great. We'll look for ticket information and all that stuff on TVguidescounselor.com or on our Facebook page. And without further ado, here is the live edition. The sound is as good as I could get it. I think it's decent. Definitely listenable, but it is live, so it's not as great as usual, so I apologize in advance. But I think there's some fun stuff in here. So please enjoy TVguidescounselor's first live edition live at the Brooklyn Brewery with Amy Sideris. [APPLAUSE] [CHEERING] [INAUDIBLE] [INAUDIBLE] [INAUDIBLE] [INAUDIBLE] Oh, and thanks for coming tonight, everybody. Yeah, this is fun, they normally do show us here, but it seemed like they didn't-- it was like a warehouse brewery type situation, and I felt a little nervous when we were walking around this area. I don't think anything about here. Did I mention Boston? But I don't know if I mentioned Boston. [LAUGHTER] I drove down for the first time today. Now, first of all, I wanted to point out that earlier today I went to a magazine store that was near your place, and I found I was looking for old TVguides because, you know, I don't have a lot. And I found this '70s teen magazine, which is roughly from the year that I was discussing. And it looks like a joke. It's called "Teen Bag." [LAUGHTER] "Teen Bag Magazine," which sounds like an insult to, you know, "You teen bag." [LAUGHTER] But the reason it really appealed to me, aside from the incredible big color, was that the teen autographs you had in 1975 was David Soul, who was a balding middle-aged man, who looks like a shock teacher, who has like a divorced shock teacher. [LAUGHTER] That was the Justin Bieber of the Sierra, and there's also, uh, uh, there's a contest where you can win a phone call from Anton Williams, which now is my call to you if he's collecting a book. So I know that, uh, also when, uh, when Amy started, when I started doing it on the show, she had mentioned that the ads and the TVguides were fantastic. So because it's a live show, and, um, which has a visual component, I assume you're all legally psychic people, uh, I thought we would show some of the ads instead of just talking about them, and we can kind of look at them, uh, before we start talking about the actual week that Amy picked. So this is the first one that I picked, um, this says, you're probably going for the book. Yeah. I don't know if anyone can see that, but it's an ad for us, cinnitar napkins, that says you buy a Greek fruit all intelligently and a cinnitar napkin. Let's go. Do you think there was, they were thinking of rest when they put all those Greek fruits in there? All those, look, those lines, there's oranges, grapefruit. Yeah. All the fruits you could put according to a cinnitar napkin. Yeah. What's that? Yeah. Also, the man definitely is looking at them like little zoos. Like this, this hidden movement is definitely a buzzer. Are they implying you need to squeeze and smell cinnitar napkins? Like these, these seem right. I don't know if you need right points to work around them, but in the mid 70s you did. This is a question that was ever asked about borrow altars, which is journalistic or share. Are they the article? You don't answer it. I don't ever know. This is an ad. A voice. They're an extra spelling. When they join TV ads, I was watching a program today, it seems very brief to me. So many people come in and it's very weird, but they might just be the people who are married and you'll not just play it. Something about that seems very weird in the world already. When you sign up based on the thickness of this ad, it doesn't tell you what you're selling. It just says you're a young merchant and we own the program. Then this is a show I have never heard of. This show is called Uncle Pete's funny company. This might be the most terrifying thing I've ever seen in the TV ad. I presume this is a kids show. Maybe I like the, I like the newscaster, they like his smile. What? That's what we've heard about. He looks like David Cronenberg, first of all, but, in fact, they might be David Cronenberg based on the time I've heard. It's presumably a kids show, or do kids shows usually have a weatherman? Kids, they show it. There's not a lot of things about weather. That's true. I guess kids care more about weather than anyone else, because... You know what, clowns? That's true. Maybe they're not wrong, but this kid show didn't do the weatherman. Because my other guess was that this is not a kid show. This is just the news in Virginia where this TV ad is fun. It's not the six o'clock news, it's something called Pete's funny company. It's not the six o'clock news, it's something called Pete's funny company. This is the variously named show I've ever seen in my entire life. It's just called The Hour, and they tell you it's on my major Friday at 4 o'clock. This is pretty barber marketing as well, so other people would be like, "What is the answer?" There's a movie called Captain Boycott, which I'm sure 14 years old. The 40-year-old was 10 years old, so I don't remember the show last night, most people were in the show last night. It was all for years. By the time you turned into Timmy and last night, I don't imagine Timmy was like, "You're building an entire lot of money, I'm 41 years old. I don't rather go like Tim, but I'll take Timmy." So that's Timmy and last night, Timmy defends an old Herman, who is being ridiculed by other boys. Timmy, last night doesn't fall into that description, and the Herman is, maybe last night's ridicule and Herman, I can watch that show. This is fantastic, because this is an ad for TV ad itself called the touch of luxury. It's a TV ad substantially. Like people expect to go to five star hotels and have a comment. How much was the TV ad back in 1976? So in 1976, the subscription of 43 weeks was $9.93. I don't remember that issue. I don't remember that. It's like 10 cents an issue, 20 cents an issue, something like that. Which is five cents off a couple of price. I don't remember that. I don't really have a much greater math. We have different reasons, the metric system in Boston. You guys are set down? The other thing is that I don't understand why I'm only at 43 weeks. Presumably there was 52 weeks of television in 1976. I do remember if it was like nine black out weeks? There was some sort of joke before it passed the law that children were not outside of it. So they have nine weeks of black out television. This one is a very unfortunate title. I don't know. Look, he's in Nancy. My favorite thing is that you would think that with the subtitle, it would be clarified, but it makes it worse. Look who's in Nancy and that says, although the series is one of the season's losers, so let's talk and continue to do in respect. So these today, will you send me here with Elizabeth? Yeah, they can have those. I will use them Nancy. I'll show them how I remember it. I would watch that crazy. That's my kind of show. I would just watch a still with that for a half hour. It's not Maria, but it was her. If it was a mystery show, and it was either who is her like date this week, or maybe she's possessed. Yeah, it was her personality or Nancy. That'd be a good game show. We'd have to guess what either David was possessing or or her schizophrenic personality was in control of the body at that time. It's as simple as the personality. So this is a very weird title. This is a weather ban. Who does the weather with a ventriloquist in me every week? This has eyewitness weather. Two heads of red and one eye comes to predicting the weather, launched in this moment in Chester. An eyewitness news weather. Can you imagine a world where it's okay to get weather reports with a ventriloquist in a week? You know what's interesting too is that I think we've moved away from wacky weathermen. At least we're in our things. Because weather kills a lot of people. And a weatherman is going to have to be serious at some point. So I would love to receive like the Blizzard of '78 with Chester. Just like a somber Chester. He's giving us harm or reform at just the properties like or just on. Yeah, yeah. Do you think there should be more weather with a ventriloquist on this one? Do you think we're living with a ventriloquist in this one? Do you remember seeing a lot of extra leopards on TV going on? I think it was more. It was really time when Lester was the big one. He was the big one I remember. He was on the weather a lot. But not in the band. It was a great picture just because I always loved anything related to Orson Welles. And says, "Who needed success?" And then has one of the worst photos of Orsona somebody. Also, do you only follow over someone who had been in a wheelchair? I don't think he was in a wheelchair. What's weird to me? Like, I just picture him being like, "Can we do a wheelchair?" Like, the article is about success and walking or something. Maybe he's just really heavy, heavy people who have wheelchairs at the end. What a great dining hand. I was saying he looks really large. He's a big, unhealthy band. Yes, he'll be a wheelchair. And apparently he needs a wheelchair. You know what, when everything Orsona's just one word comes to mind. "Gowel." Not a Roosevelt gowel. I just imagine he was really little to cowel. And now here's a great thing. We talked about this earlier. You love after school specials. And I love after school specials. They don't have them anymore. And I think that's why children are monsters. [laughter] Well, this is a great one. So this was an NBC after school special. I'll read it to you if you can't see it. It says, "It's called My Mom's Had a Baby." And it says, "You don't want to watch this with your kids because it's a very special story for every family." His mother's pregnancy is taking more pity of the apostles and concerned. But real life pediatrician Dr. Lendensmith teaches me while the beginning of life. You're all so far. It's this last sentence here. You want to do the honors on this one? No, okay. You and your family will share Peter's learning experience through an actual videotaped birth. Take it to her. Take it to her. After you've been reading that, it's 3-3-1-2. [laughter] And here's my favorite part. I want to go on to you by having the honors on general foods. [laughter] I have an idea. Yes, shameable? Yes. [laughter] How do my movies have an X? [laughter] Do we throw in the afternoon actual videotaped birth? I mean, they show us this in school. They ship on this thing. They show us a video of a birth. Did you guys see like a film of a birth or anything? The kids who pass out are probably one of the kids. That's why all the kids. Okay. You're not having that. We had a teacher who was very eccentric. His brother was in the band Kid Creole in the coconuts. And he was the weird one in the teacher. And so one day he comes into class. He doesn't say anything. He gets out of a big bucket. Like a paint bucket. He puts on rubber gloves. So instantly I'm like, whatever's happening. And the next is going to be a traumatizing. He started pulling out what looks like a wet robe. And it wasn't the center. [laughter] That a kid brother has extra credit. Show it to him. Yeah. It's fantastic. [laughter] Like 15 years before that, he was like, "How do you brother need it? Can I get extra credit?" He showed the issues. [laughter] How do you know if the teacher was like, "What the hell is wrong with you?" Instead of like, "You get an A for the year." [laughter] Yeah, so if they had seen a videotape book, "Does anyone ever seen a videotape of birth? Was it your own birth?" Or it was just a strange book. This isn't a pre-roll control age. So I imagine there wasn't a lot of channel flipping, which is probably a good thing. Because if you were just flipping and you're like, "What's the name you see?" "Oh my God!" [laughter] You were about to sit down and watch this. Now here's an interesting thing. This is a thing called "Revival Fires" direct from the Joplin, Missouri, Heart of America, 18 TV specials with the venture of Cecil Tom and his revival fires. And the topics they go over are quite a bit of power and touch on the fire. [laughter] Which seems, I don't even know what that would be about. Is that for, how do you know it? That if Christ would have come down from the cross, which just sounds like aggressive. [laughter] Like exists, ladies and gentlemen, which is get off the damn thing. [laughter] Uh, single life. I'm thinking, I'm thankful to you, Aaron, and great from heaven, God's Word for God's World, and my favorite, the manifold mystery of revival fires. Well, taking those things, very traumatic. This would be more disturbing to me than the beauty of birth. Did you ever watch any of these, like, sermon shows? Yeah. All the time? I grew up watching a PTL. Okay. And when Tammy did a cooking segment, I loved when Tammy was cooking segment. She was dying things. You know, I called her God. You called me. That was her. Yeah, that was her thing. And every next time. [laughter] Isn't that the most sacrilegious way to go? But thanks for being like, "Hey, God, you've gone wrong. There should be blue." [laughter] I couldn't. [laughter] I went through a big food con-face kit where I die all the foods, the wrong colors. And I died with no blue on me. And my dad got really angry because he thought it was an angel. [laughter] Yeah. Yeah, he was like, "You've gone too far with this." [laughter] And first of all, he goes, "Did you do this?" And I was like, "This is like a forest in the house." And I've been dying everything for, like, two years. [laughter] Isn't that kind of a really good exit for me? Like, who else would it be? And then he goes, "This is too far." And then I'm like, "I don't understand." He goes, "Blue milk, little boy blue, I guess." [laughter] I guess he did. He can see now. He'll take all of that. [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] One of the people I was making like a recruitment milkshakes or something. I was thinking about those cars. So this, I'll show you, I'll zoom in in a second. But at first, it's just a nice frame you had for the color track system, for the 25-inch color TV. And that is the best color for me. Well, how do you illustrate that in a non-rooping image? [laughter] With the drawing of a woman's body. [laughter] Okay, now you don't think that's strange. This is how they say the color technology works. And it's correct flush tones, like in this woman's torso. Thank you. There's a lot of things that are in color in this world. [laughter] There are a lot of things that are flush colored in this world. On a handless woman's torso. [laughter] Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. No. She. Absolutely. Those are very amazing features. Yeah. How do you find her in paintings? [laughter] It looks like a before picture. [laughter] It's too fair. [laughter] And it's a drawing. I don't see a lot of those sorts how good the TV is. [laughter] This is a very strange thing that says X feminine sprayer. New north forms use of it. This is a patterning. I don't know what feminine spray is. But. No mess, no plus. My favorite part of this? Two words with an explanation for it. Just insert. [laughter] That's what it says in the ad copy. And this is next to things like TV and lastly. So this is pretty serious. So this is a TV movie called, an inalienable right to die. Can suicide be justified? Very serious. Very, very serious. But when you pull out for the whole TV ad page, if you look at the ad right underneath this. [laughter] Actually, I'm showing slowing of hammer organizations caused by infection. It's right underneath a right to die series. [laughter] Oh, this is where we are. This is a done record special. On the plate we call it Mr. One versus Mr. Separate. [laughter] First of all, second boxing match. Then we have these people. The four king cousins swinging to summer from the four king cousins in comedy cafe, which is a show that even I've never heard of. If this is to be known with these big water. Then we have the fishing hall with Jerry and the Geekins. That's dirty. You can fish in the hall. Is it also a lot of these things that one talkers? Is it just us? Like I feel like the fish hall, you can put that just in serve in this ad. Another thing is that other people probably thought it was dirty as well, because if you look at the drawing of Jerry and the Geekins, it says there are minutes of wholesome family entertainment. Just in case you were sick. Then we have this, which is very, very appropriate to me. [laughter] This isn't an echo. When Tyler is teeming a pal or a danger for lonely people. [laughter] What is the way you're coming through in there? [laughter] It's such a way. It is the saddest painting of an old woman. [laughter] She's just waiting to die. [laughter] Even when waiting doesn't care about it. They never really answer it. This is a crazy double wedding person. This is Marcia. It looks like Marcia. She looks exactly like Marcia. She does the weather. I would like to listen to her wife. I wonder if they hired her and they were like, "Yes, she doesn't need a ritual to study." [laughter] She can do it on her own. Here's a good one. This is a hand marker. It says, "Nothing stops the cham. That's the sign on a hand marker's dressing room." That sign was insane. Yeah, that's a simple reason. Presumably you've had many dressing rooms in your career. If you ever had a smoking, an assistant on a smoking on a dressing room... What are you going to do in that? I think it's just nothing stops the cham. [laughter] Oh my God. Here's the U.N. TV movies. This is a TV movie called "Murder by Natural Causes." [laughter] Which is all literally investigated. [laughter] And this is Tyler. We're with a lot of water. We're with a lot of water. So, I'm starting to have a whole movie. I'm not seeing this, but I'm making it my life's effort to track it down. What are some of the TV movies that you specifically remember watching as a kid? Oh, I couldn't tell you what. I mean, you're all the same. They're all the same. I watched the same. Elizabeth Montgomery and all of them. Yeah, yeah. She was the American Ambassador. She was the American Ambassador. She was the American Ambassador. But they made for TV movies. I think people forget. It was a huge deal. They were great budget movies. And people couldn't rent the movies. So, they were like, "This is a movie." We could see for free for the first time. And you would wear it on our television. She liked how to tune it over. That's what I liked. It was kind of what the movie, because it's fine. It was TV and it's fine. But it's always the same movie. It really is. It's like, well, sometimes it's different. It's at Christmas. [laughter] So, two flavors of electric movies. And these were all usually either supernatural or about murdering your husband. Every single day for TV movie in the 70s. Or about comfortable to being born a masterful. I cried every night. But they were really mean to him. And he had that suit. And then, this is a cigarette called fax. [laughter] So, there were all those cigarette called fax. It's unrealistic. I always smoke fax. [laughter] This has also grabbed because it's a special edition of celebrity couples $20,000 per minute. All the celebrity couples are people even I've never heard of. [laughter] Have you heard of any of those people? Yeah, but it doesn't sound wrong, couple. It doesn't sound fissusive. [laughter] Sandy and John Gabriel, Jimmy and Mike Fow are the four. We're going to switch them now and find Steve. Not single one of those people who's famous to anyone. Look at the bucket. Look at the bucket. We're going to switch this one from Mr. Nash. Look at the bucket and look at the door and out collection. And George Steve are the one to turn out. [laughter] What? Turn out the collection of George Doyle and West Hartford, Connecticut. [laughter] I'm not scared. [laughter] That was television in 1975. I've named the door and out collection. I've named you. I've named you. I've named you. Also, thank you to Lincoln Tips. [laughter] This is another make for TV movie. This is called Tell Me My Name. It stars Barbara Berry. And the comedy years weren't really coming. There's someone rocking an Emily's door. It isn't exactly a stranger that's from back to you. There's a stranger that's from back to generalizing his life. Jim has a little secret that can destroy her entire family. [laughter] [inaudible] She's going to tell her she has Alzheimer's. No, do you think she has Alzheimer's disease and is only a cotone over her name? That's what I thought. Until the person who's not Alzheimer's stranger, I guess that could be a doctor. But you'd come over and be like you know Alzheimer's. And you're right on drugs. I don't know what you're doing either. There's two more here. This is great. And I'll get it. I looked at it because it says the hall and ribs haunted a house apart to save the elderly with life. I like that the comedy is somewhere between news headline and health speaking. [laughter] As someone pointed out that CBS's tagline "We're Coming On" was showing things for a reason. [laughter] And here's another way to be able to be starring Alex Carris from Webster. This is called Mad Bull. To the crowd, he was an animal, dooze, to fight and be hunted. But to the woman he loved him, he was a desperate man and he didn't know. [laughter] You'll be shocked to believe it's the first time it's on television. [laughter] What is happening in that photo? [laughter] It seems like it's cotone. [laughter] This is maybe my favorite after school special. [laughter] And would you do the honor of reading the title of this special for a wedding? Homer and the wedding doodle the machine. Homer has a fine food machine. The doodle the machine is a white in its own. It's nonstop vibes. I don't know. It's not word charge saves. I'm the most troubled business. I think that sounds great. [laughter] Why are we singing a video of Homer and the wedding doodle the machine? [laughter] [laughter] And finally the show I've never heard of with Andy Griffith called The Handmaster. [laughter] And the thing they're really promoting for this is that it co-stars Cherry Bandic. [laughter] Sad thing for everybody. So you picked a new show to you down here from the week I'm located here from the week of the March 10, 1979. What drew you to this church? Well, you gave me several TV guides. I did. They were all great. So I just picked that one out because I had all the shows that I watched up the air tunnel more show. I heard all of them. Like the air tunnel. Wonder Woman. They always had a crime drawn off. One thing I noticed though is how sports, there was a lot of sports and TV back there. It really was. I had no idea who it was that much. So that was because Dick Eversal was far more powerful than it should have been. No. It grew in this house for five years, which people don't have. But sports was the biggest thing on television in the mid-70s. They showed it to number one, Tell High's sport was in 1979. Tell us. And we asked. Oh, really? Oh, really? It was bold. What was it called? It was the highest rated sport on television in 1979. We've got two new art ratings on our football, basketball, baseball, baseball. We did. We did. We went in home to get rid of TV more. They didn't know how we could do it one more than on television. Oh? Wow. It wouldn't have been for real lady life to know. Yeah, like you were thought, oh, it's been only small women and bandwalls together. Right. No, I think it was because it was cheap to produce more than any other sport. People could see themselves in the moles. Oh, that's funny. That's funny. That's funny. It was also the only sport. I think that as an adult, you could watch on TV and then go do. Like you can't watch the Superball and just head down the local high school field and challenge some kids to hear. You know, going outside, I think that's why. But it was very, very odd that that was the number one sport. Because we do a wide world of sports. We have almost huge nationals. And sports were really the first national sort of televised effect. And it was every year. I knew what sports was. Did you know what sports were now? Yeah. Yeah. Sports were now. Yeah. They were in a cowardly morning. Mm-hmm. I don't understand sports. They were going to have lost enough like in sports. It's very difficult. I'll tell you that. Yeah. I've heard more insights than possibly have ever been catalogued by more than one. I've been on sports. So you watched one? One more all the time. I did watch one of the Miami women. One woman. One woman. One woman. One woman. This was the week. I think my drama was there. Love mode. I didn't just have to keep off on the sets. You just watched me off on the sets. On the sets. What about the sets did you like so much? The thing would be like just a simple backdrop and then maybe fails in pain. Do you know what would be in that microphone? I mean I just appreciated. I like how simple the sets were. It was very hard to talk about. Very hard to say. Very hard to say it was. And the dance routines and how they would do the wardrobe. I mean I liked that it was crappy. Did you think it was funny? No. I didn't think it was funny. I should go to the Lord's world. The Lord's world is funny to me now. But back then I was always like oh my god I'm down. I'm like it's six o'clock. Yeah. I enjoy the Lord's world now. Because who doesn't like folk at all? Yeah right. The dance routine. Yeah they're great. But he all wasn't attentive to me but he was probably what I told him. Sleepy time. He all tried really hard. Yeah. And I think that when comedy fails it's the one genre that you can't enjoy at any other level that's funny to me. And I think that when comedy fails it's the one genre that you can't enjoy at any other level that's funny to me. And I think that when comedy fails it's the one genre that you can't enjoy at any other level that's funny to me. And I think that when comedy fails it's the one genre that you can't enjoy at any other level that's funny to me. And I think that when comedy fails it's the one genre that you can't enjoy at any other level that's funny to me. And also you have five siblings growing up. Correct. Yeah yeah. One TV in the house? There were two TV's in the house. One upstairs and they get you to announce it. There was one considered to be the same TV? All the way downstairs. Would you have to fight as to who you are to watch next? All the time. My sister took me. One time we were fighting over. He knew who won the watch. All of you seen. She won the watch instead of the song. She took over. I don't have two IBM pencils. She just came in and went for the day and died. And then it was fine. So we all went to the doctor together. We all went to the hospital. So you watched nothing? Yeah. I wish you liked that. I wish you liked it. If you're going to watch this you're going to watch it a little bit. Yeah. I wish you liked it. I wish you liked it. I wish you liked it. Fun sense. Which we loved. But we were all watching. I love Lucy. But come in. What we're watching. My dad always won. And he would come downstairs and just change the channel. And then we'd all end up running upstairs to watch him being on his phone. Because he was running upstairs. Was one black and white one color? Was one of the smaller ones. I wanted to put black and white upstairs to color them. That's what she didn't know. That's what she did. That's what people did. The whole TV would be relegated upstairs. Yeah. As long as they had a kind of situation. And the new TV would be like a furniture. Like a vocal point. And so we would fight over black and white TV as well. Because that was such a... That was like... You can listen to this album with the soundbox. I really guess. It's similar. Yes. What a great fan that would be for the Flintstones. Like, I love the Flintstones so much. I stabbed my brother in the ambulance. Oh my God. I had one time. This will make me seem terrible. I was playing mouse chat with my sister. And she cheated. Which, behind sight, was impressive. She knew I was trying to have an understanding of engineering that I did not give her care for the time. I'm a very person now. I can admit. But at the time we're studying Egyptian modification in school. So I show the pencil up her nose with an attempt to get to her brain. Oh, wow. Thank you public education system. It's funny. Yeah. Yeah, they make me pretty dangerous. They make me pretty dangerous. My aunt, when I was... I was feeling very bad about money in my mid-20s. And I do now. I just see problems that feel bad about it anymore. But my aunt was like, "You never know. Sometimes things just work out." And I was like, "What do you mean she knows?" My husband had a science problem. He went to the doctor, said, "You have a tumor in your nose. Let me cut it out." He starts cutting it out and goes, "Oh no, I'm sorry. That was your brain." We soon. And that's why we want this house. Sometimes things just work out. So aside from coming to physical books, is there any sort of rotation? Like Tuesday and then tomorrow night? Or did you have to like, "Do you want to have to campaign for a show?" Did we shut the line up? Let me add it. This is... You've heard of it first. I fixed it. Did you? Yeah. No, we all kind of wanted to watch the same thing. We were all different ages as well. So, I just remember things that we weren't allowed to watch like they didn't even know when that came on. What was the reason you wanted to make it? It was just going to be a risque. Oh, yeah. So, we were allowed to watch that when that came off. We were like, um... Thorne members or... Is that what she said? Well, no. I just remember many series were being done with Transforming. Yeah. And that was a fun thing. We all got to... The whole family watched those and just... Me and my dad didn't watch them with us. He was more supportive to me in it or turned out honestly. But other than that, we all wanted to watch the same thing. See, that's something I feel like families miss now. Because I think it probably taught you skills. How to deal with other people. And also how to watch things that you might not want to watch. But also how to make your kids or something. Now, kids can just watch whatever they want on their phone. Yeah. They won't have to talk to anybody. And I think that that's a skills that they lost. That also, not to be related. I think that people are the worst people now because when they call girls or boys that they like, they don't have to go through the parent or brother care. That was important. You would sweat it. And then you had to get who's the gay people. It's not the case. I don't know. So, was there a show that you were like, "If I can only watch this one show, this is my show for watching this week." Yeah, there were a lot of shows. Like, "Oh, there's no more I loved. I'll spin off some of that." I was playing a dance. I liked the... You feel the same? I don't remember the feeling. Most of the course, the eachman spit out. Yeah. I don't remember. I don't remember. I don't remember. But, I'm sure I did. You know, we were arguing. We were arguing. We were arguing. We were arguing. We were arguing. We were arguing. The late time, S&TV, I guess, were my show for that. I don't remember how very hard it was. I mean, the only thing I was saying, was that it would take at least a priority of soap operas, that was on every night usually they'd let it apart at night. Yeah, it was a thing. So, were you standing up late? I didn't stand the night. Well, they would read. Let me at local shows like Shock Theater and Creature Feature. Right. You know, there were scary shows. I don't remember. They didn't work all night. So, they didn't work all night. Well, those were local for each market. So, each market had their own horror host. Did you remember where your host was? I don't remember. So, like, your New York, it was... Zachary Lee was the big one. A fire reaction started as a little bit late. I don't remember how it was an influencer. So, each town sort of had their own wall. You won't have to find out. You won't have to find out. I don't know. I don't know. We had a show for kids with a guy. He had a football show. He wore a top hat. He was really long. He couldn't see a thing. And that was in a big show watching other kids. It was a black and white. How did you know he was an influencer? He was blind. And he looked like he was blind. And he was in the eyes. And then went to the line. And then went to the line show in town. He was blind. I see what he never was like. Hey, it's the hunk up with the hunk up with the polsh head. It's the other polsh head. Remember, I'm blind. So, you went to do your live tape? I think I'm going to talk about taking a bit. I'm over you. I was to bend, like, four or five. So, you blew on a way. That was one of the first time you saw, like, the behind the scenes. Yeah, it was bumping your mind. And you would just show any cartoons and do weird games. So, yeah, yeah. So, what was that? What was that? He would do a blind. Do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He would do a blind. He was. He would do a blind. We were engaged, we had to... What kind of gift did you get to get to pick Friday games? I don't remember that. I don't remember. Do you remember anything about like, "Oh, it's a smile that I thought it would be" or "It just smells weird"? No, no, I don't remember any of that. Fair enough. Sorry. I don't remember. You don't remember where you were when you were a father? It's not too cool. It's a cool one. It's cool for anyone else. It's cool for anyone else. It's really cool for anyone else. It's really cool for anyone else. It's really cool for anyone else. It's really cool for anyone else. It's really cool for anyone else. It's really cool for anyone else. And you were also professional in Washington as a family? Yes. Or as a kid too? A kid too, yeah. Would you parents be like, "This is bullshit"? No, I think they just were happy. We were doing something that didn't bother them. Yes, yes. I think that's if TV does anything. It makes parents happy that kids are doing things not involving the parents. I get it when I'm a babysit like that, so a lot of students turn on the TV on or watch movies. That's the first thing I do when they leave. So you need to learn something that makes sense to me? We'll just go to the show. I just choiced to it, which I just saw for the first time. Jeremy is really popular. Really amazing. And he likes trying to do it. So I just put him on a movie. So that's, I mean, yes. That's a child appropriate. Yeah. That's not like you're putting my dingo on. No, no, I wouldn't do that. So your parents only have room for gardening content on time. So they would just be like, "You can stay on it and watch where you want it." Well, you know, sometimes it was like nine, five, ten o'clock. It was over, but we'd always sneak in and try to watch. You mean? We're always in front of the TV set. I mean, I remember really much as popular, but we just made fun of the way to watch. We never met them. We just watched it. Maybe God, maybe God, our parents don't like that. Yeah. I would be, I would feel so sad. Anybody watched them very much thinking, "I wish this was my family." Oh, I did a lot of them. Do you remember them? Sure, we did. I'm sure they did. Bargeach family. Yeah, I'm sure. They were at least a man. Oh, yeah, that's true. They at least had a town. Yeah. But the pretty much, I was so off-fronting to the point. I enjoyed it for not the intended reasons. So, like, I enjoyed it for everyone. It was very much for me. And I would watch any show that fits in price ever next time. I don't know what fits in price. Even if it was not the "Vids in Price" episode, she's the only game that's involved in some capacity. I would watch that show. Maybe he'll show up. [laughter] There's a guy that would, like, he used to do ads for tie-lucks, cleaner, cold weather. He'd do, like, spooky ads for these things. And I would try to watch the commercials and just hold it now and see if it's in price. Oh, sadly. Money just fit me in here. Money just fit me in here. Can you imagine that? I don't even think we have a model that fits in price. Do you leave? Is there a model that fits in price? [laughter] Yeah, but when I show the thing of, like, who would be the equivalent to, like, me and modern family or something now? As someone who tries to bury the children. [laughter] In Milwaukee County. He's dead, right? Oh, he's very dead. Yeah, he's very dead. Yeah, he's very dead. He was married. He was married. Vids in Price is married for years. He wrote a very good cookbook. And he used to sell artwork through Sears. He curated original artwork from Sears. It'd be like, "Vids in Price says this is a good painting." Oh, a lot of things like that. Oh, yeah. His cookbook looks great. I had her going to track a whole copy of it. It's not flooky in any way. Uh-huh. That is dental thanks recipe. Right here, okay. It's great. Yeah, that's a good thing. Yeah. Vids in Price actually did an LV version of the cookbook. So it's like a book on tape. But it's Vincent Price repeating recipes. [laughter] And he also wrote a series of writers that were just his lines from scenes in his movies. And the author had a script in the wonder notes. So you could plan on acting at home. By sitting and reading your lines along with Vincent Price. That kind of sounds like someone should have given it to that lonely grandma. To do while she was watching TV. [laughter] No one loves you while you're acting with Vincent Price on the troll. And he is dental thanks. So you loved the one hour show. So you'd be like the action shows. Well, if I'm lying to a CTV, I partially lie. I'll work with you sometimes I can't share. So if you're like everyone, if you want to sit down and say hello, you had a big morning. A CTV was my favorite. Yeah. And such a better show than Sarah. Yeah. Well, I mean, it was fun to get out. Like, I like it and I like this set. It's not like it was just, it was obvious. It was just like that set together. Right. So you liked it? It was sort of like there were no bells and whistles. It was just the funny part. Yeah. I like that. It seemed so well for news. Yeah. And that set up was almost the exact opposite where they were like, if this isn't a corporate, we need this to look exactly like a corporate. Yeah. And this CTV would be like, here's a total. Even if it's better. Why don't you mind how I get out? Well, CTV is maybe my favorite sketch of the whole time. Like, that show was so rewarding for people that watched it over and over again because they would have these characters that would come back, like, come forth. It was about the horror. It was the local horror. Yeah. It was played by Joe Flaherty. If you watched that show, they never mentioned this. He was blonde. Now, they never mentioned this. But he was actually Floyd Robinson, the alcoholic newscaster, also on the channel. And so if you knew that, you could kind of fill in the backstory that he got sort of demoted or to be the horror host. It was never explicit. And there was always kind of weird things like that on that show. And I loved that show. That was such a great, great show. And there were definitely parts of that show that didn't make me laugh, but really terrifying. And why? Which I would appreciate. The characters that were so grotesque, they were just flat on scale. Which I always appreciate. I don't know if that's maybe what I'll say to you. Jukkin was the least weird person on the show. Jukkin was right. She wasn't sure who do the most grotesque and bizarre characters. He still does. People, he had a character that took a lot of junior. That was basically their winter mix with Sammy Deaf's Junior. And then had him running for office. But it was a sim like it just made a sense for a show. I should watch him again. I should watch him again. So were those shows you would watch when you were on it? Would you watch one of your fans? They would watch him with my family, watch one of my friends. Jukkin, did you go to school to talk about these shows? Because that was a shared experience with an alcoholic. And what were their shows that you were like, "Do you guys see this show last night?" What was the big thing that everybody was like, "I can't believe what's happening in this night's soul." Well, what's the one that was the son of Barbara, who was like vampires. Oh, dark shadows. Dark shadows. So everybody watched dark shadows. They don't want to watch dark shadows. Did you watch that every day? Yeah. Part of his college, dark shadows was obviously the prequel to the Johnny Depp movie. Most people probably noticed that. They brought that back in 1990. Did you see that? Oh, no. It was awful. They do the bloopers real well. They have their shadows. Yes, there's the Johnny Depp movie. Yeah, that was the one they did. It was two famous blooper reels. That pre-internet age, you could go to conventions and they would show them on a real to real projective. A Star Wars bloopers and dark shadows bloopers. You would go pay to watch bloopers and a Star Wars, a Star Trek, in like a conference hall in a hotel. Sure. It was so easy. It was fun. You watched a lot of the variety of shows. I watched all the variety of shows. I mean, I loved her. And we all watched that. That was more of a steel show. That was one of my favourite shows. I'd say. Go on that show. Was your number one sketch show? I'd say. Go on Ellen's TV. It came on later. Well, could you get two sketch shows that award you for the Academy of Medicine TV? Yeah. Like, in common, it was always reminding you it was a sketch show. That was their big thing. It was like very, not like a snarking forefall, but it was always a show. And I see TV as always, this is real life. And the shows you're seeing are shows on this channel. Which I enjoyed that yesterday. The thing I didn't like about Caravan Met was making each other laugh. And it seems to me that everybody loves. I was like, did you? It's just powerful. Like, I remember being kid going, that's very funny. And I remember that. This is, I was like, eight years old and I was like, you know, if I wrote that sketch, you can be angry right now. But if you're laughing with it, it's okay. I hate when people laugh and then you're like, you're not laughing. It's not. Because I think cracking each other up, we're not laughing. We're laughing and it's right. I feel like some people do that and shows are more pain where the sketch isn't funny. When they're like, let's just laugh at each other and they'll start laughing. Yeah, right. It's one step behind being like, let's mail them pie. And they can smoke and then watch this and then it might be funny. There's nothing else we can do. So, how about in Vlogbox they did watch? I mean, it goes on. I mean, I was an in-dole, but I mean, there's a lot of shows that were on that I never watched. I never watched chips. I think it's called Choose a Hazard. Oh, did you love with it kind of like, too masculine? I don't know. Just didn't get into it. There were a lot of shows that didn't get into it all. Did you have a problem on Earth, Australia? No. Some people did. Some people wouldn't watch chips because it was about cops. And they were like, hey, fuck those things. Okay. Well, I say somebody called me in my office. I don't know if I'd watch chips. Like, we watch chips and they reach out to somebody. And my office would be like, fucking jerks. And they would really hope that the cops would get, like, flus. It's not going to happen. It's chips. You didn't watch chips. You didn't watch anything. Oh, choose a hazard. A juice, a hazard. Yeah. You never liked juice and hazard. I mean, I grew up looking Boston as a mention. And I'm going to reel, like, visceral aversion to overtly southern chips. Oh, yeah. And when juice and hazard was the most violently, and I don't mean action-wise, but just, like, the general lead was, like, slapping me in the face with some. And the opening credits I would just be like, no. And I don't know why. I had such a negative reaction. Really just bad accents, do you know? So, even though it was the essence, I was just like, this is not for me. But then the Hulk, I'm like, yeah, I hate green men. That speaks to me. I never got into that. And you dig into that light. Everybody likes that. I like that. I like that older people, I remember older men, like, in Charlie's Angels. I think old and natural people. Yeah, I just remember my friends' dads, like, natural people. They, like, that they were very attractive girls. How would they express their leg of that? They would say, I like this, because I like looking at the girls. [LAUGHTER] They put their shoulders angels on. I'll watch the girls. Yeah, and this would not. Broke the parents. I mean, she would not have seen that babysit that dogs in the house. You know what I mean? They'd be like, I don't know what's going on. That's all they did. Yes. And then the husband would watch it. I remember my grandfather. I remember there was an old, old, meet you man. You sat in a kitchen table and spoke. I think professionally. And he would watch three shows. He would watch "A Life" by the way. She helped his wife program. He would watch prices for anything. He would watch people's stories. He would try to understand people's story. People's story. Fantastic. Yeah. When he, Charlie's Angels was on his education after "A Life" by the way. And he would say, "Shut that goddamn jingle program all day." [LAUGHTER] So I'm gonna be older, man. A funny boy. Yeah, maybe. So... I liked Loretta. With, uh, the murder. Uh, Loretta. [LAUGHTER] 'Cause I, you know, I liked his disguises. I liked that whole concept. Two of the kinds of people reading these guys. Yeah, a lot of disguises. Yeah. What was your favorite disguise on "A Life" by the way? I don't, I don't, I don't. Yeah, I don't. I'm sorry, I didn't, I'm sorry. I didn't, I'm sorry, I didn't. I'm sorry, I didn't, I'm not sure. I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't. That was the worst thing when they were like, "You can't just be a detective. You need to have a thing." [LAUGHTER] Well, it didn't, it has to be had the intended show. He had the where he played, um, on the time of course. I'm seeing an ad for it. He had the, I remember the advertising roles really good. It was like an online in his body. Different colors. Yeah, he had some kind of love. So, this is great because normally when they did a show, I don't do any research. And the person makes their picks and just hands me the TV guide. And so, everything that I'm following is off the top of my head. And if people listen to the show like I listen to shows, they're yelling what the show is or you can't think of it. If you remember that, David Cassidy. David Cassidy's. The second show. The second show. The second show. Different personalities. Yeah. Other cover? I think that's it. A man under cover. Sounds like that, right? Yeah. Yeah. There we are. As far as him. Yeah. I know, I failed him. My, my knowledge of David Kirk Cassidy's career is not that good. Okay. David, who's the Cassidy that's on? Perfect. Let's see. Who's the child Cassidy's? I want to think of that first American gothic and it's producing us. I would. Child Cassidy. David Cassidy's. Over cover. I liked his four ways. Dad, Jack Cassidy. You were in a fire, I think. You didn't? I liked how ready he was. I liked his look. You know. He had a good bird's look. He had a good bird's look. And then he died in the fire, I think. Right. Anyway. I like him. I like him. I like his look. If you were to teach him, what would your, what would you give him? Paralyze. You can paralyze. How can you? I can paralyze. How can you paralyze? How can you paralyze? Like, raise down, neck down. Raise down. I dig. Stairs in my house. Then every episode of me slitching all the birds that I was doing. Please are always at the top of the stairs. I thought I would not have a hard line. I would not have a hard line. Seven vehicles have interacted with history where you're going to build you. There are stairs in your house. And they would cut to you downstairs and cut to upstairs. And the mystery is how the hell you did that. Maybe Orson Welles was filming that show. That's why he was in that picture. That's why he was in that picture. He was a set character. Well, on your side was an detective. Have you seen a lawyer? I saw a lawyer using the picture. I just liked how dark that show was. It was dark black and white. Oh, absolutely. And I was going to like that because he was in a wheelchair. I was intrigued. I also liked that the title of the show seemed to be an offensive nickname for him. I think it's like it isn't all iron size. But I was going to get to it. It's not appropriate to call someone on a wheelchair. My sister says, "Oh, I'm already a chair. It's got like a few soles. Oh, my God. Are you here, Rio?" R&B shows was very good. And I also... Is that actor's name? It's Jim Clement, but it's... What was his name? Honey Epson. The original 10th man before we got the silver pose name. I always liked to watch... I always liked to watch R&B shows assuming he was Jim Clement. Like he just became a detective and changed his name because he shit went down. Like there was a horrible divorce or something. Like some kind of father with money for years. He said, "I've just changed my name and become a detective." Her religious detective. The first funny show on my watch was, um... Let's see. Joe Moroni was on it. What's it called? What? Clement. That was the first big funny... Did you like it? I did. I remember being in second... You said it was in the brain by the graduate day. You were going to be on laughing. You were going to be on laughing. I was crying. That's what everyone told me. What were they saying? Like as a compliment or like as an insult? Um, I don't know. But I think you say that it was funny. That it was funny enough to be on laughing. You're so funny you can be on laughing. Yeah. Like Richard Nixon. Yeah. Literally. Laughing at such a weird show, people have seen him laughing. But it was the most 60s show I could imagine. Yeah. Like it was made by the man. Like it was this very, very manufactured network show literally made by old man who would like spit on him. But they were just exploiting this thing and he could be like, "That's the hit show." And when you watch it now, it's very clear that 65-year-old men are writing repeat jokes. And people are like, "Oh, and I'm Jane Narrow. I'll never say sorry to me." Yes, right. Laughing in the rear for years. And in 1957, Naked Knight was like, "We're bringing laughing back, guys. It's going to be the biggest thing I ever were wearing laughing and I loved sketch shows. It was the show I sent to me. I sent an alarm clock so that I wouldn't miss laughing. I wasn't sleeping. I just wanted it to tell me, "Go watch laughing." And an hour into the marathon, I was just like, "What the hell is this nonsense?" I didn't mean to be trying to watch it. Yeah. Who did you have? It was just a lot of women and parents taking people with handbags. Yeah. You're very fuzzy. Yeah. I'm very fuzzy. I guess she's not lying anymore, is she? I think she might be. No? Are you fuzzy? Is she lying? Anyone? Anybody know? No. The show's normally not us just asking for people. I don't know. (laughter) It's my grandma. You guys know she's alive? She's not turned too well. Does anyone hurt? Yes. She passed this morning? Thank you. It was a big one. I was always told that I loved my brother. He told you he looked like a road. I can't see that. She went out. I loved your brother. You know, exactly. She was a head star and stuff like that. I loved her. I've met her by Mary Harper a few years ago. She was incredibly nice. I was a huge fan of Valerie's family, which was the show she was on in the late 80s. I don't know if people remember the show. It was just in all the magazines. It was probably featured in a tea guide. It was a family sitcom. She was the star. It was called Valerie. She wanted more money. So they killed her on the show and covered. (laughter) And replaced her with Sandy Duncan. Oh, wow. The one eye. Yeah. There's a half an eye. There's a half an eye person. Really? In a way that they introduced me to the chance for us. Into the season in May, Valerie's there. September, season premiere. Shows now called Valerie's family for some reason. Where's Valerie? Two minutes into the show. They're joking around and spinning around. I don't know what Jason Baker does, but it hasn't been the same since Mom died. (laughter) And then the dad's like, "That was a terrible car." (laughter) And it said, "What?" And then the dad said to each of the two episodes later, they burned their house down, and there was a scene where Jason baby was holding a burnt photo and goes, "This was the only photo I'll ever buy behind." (laughter) What cruel producers. So I am devastated by that. (laughter) I mean Valerie Harper, and I was working at a local television affiliate, and I was like, "You're helping for the day." She's really cool. She's finding out in Second City, and freaking the bean, and all these cool things she's in. So, but the end of the day, I give you up and have power, and I start crying. (laughter) Like, they voluntarily, I'm like, "Yeah, it's pretty bad, but I'm going to close a little bit." Like, I just, and she's just hunting. (laughter) It was the single most embarrassed single woman of my entire life. (laughter) Very nice of her. That's Joe. Also, there was a, a friend of Jason baby on the show who won the whole month. He was playing his record. They wrote a lot of the show. They reintroduced him a year later, in the course of one episode, gave him AIDS and killed him of AIDS. (laughter) They hadn't seen him there in the hospital, and they seemed like, "Which one are you doing here?" He was like, "I'm just hanging out at the hospital." He leaves, and then they go, "Do you see where that guy went?" And then the janitor goes, "Oh, you probably went over there with the other AIDS patients." (laughter) The way they came to AIDS was off some chicken Europe. (laughter) That's a quote from the show. (laughter) And then, by the end of the episode, he was dead. If you were killed in a television show, to the contractual reasons, how would you like to have AIDS? AIDS. So like, say season three of your paraplegic detective show. Yeah. Hey, you see there were some students. Do you want goin' on? You want your whole wedding scene to be a phone ring, and then there'd be like, "Uh, detective agency, I'm sorry, she died of AIDS." Yes, that's exactly right. Oh my God, that's crazy. Have you ever jumped into a lot of anything like that? No, I would love to cry in front of him. (laughter) That was a great example of two of her new reasons. So, was there a show that traumatized you as a kid that you were like, "I wish I had..." Well, John felt that Karen Black won with a little... Oh, I told you, I told you. Yes. So that was the name? And then it still pulls up. Oh, that's right. Well, she doesn't tell him, but first of all, she makes chicken, and I can't wish she goes in the kitchen and put chicken breasts on a cookie sheet, and then she puts it in the oven, and then she turns the oven on, and I can never get past that. Like, a cure, a mess, right? (laughter) You can't breathe! (laughter) She's talking to her mom all the time, and I thought, man, it's such a perfect little, such a great telephone call. Do you think there was anyone else in America being like, "Breathe the other..." I'm like, "Breathe the other..." "Breathe the other..." "Breathe the other..." (laughter) It was everything wrong in that scene. So, really, that was a great part of Richard Madison who wrote the vast majority of the Twilight Zone. He also wrote "I Am Legend" in a book that will spend the moment. And, yeah, he wrote it. He single-handed it, right? He single-handed it. He single-handed it, and then he wrote it. And then he wrote, it was an anthology movie. It was three stories. Everyone remembers the final story. It was about a soupy fetish doll, an African-born doll that terrorizes Karen Black, and then possesses her at the end. She gets bad teeth because of it. That's the final show. I just liked how little they were. I mean, it was just something tiny like that when I read a poem. And I was there for "Godzilla" and it was tiny. That was terrifying. You know what I mean? (laughter) A tiny, tiny, Godzilla in the city, to be scarier than a large one is. Or you can see it. You know where it is. (laughter) But something tiny like that went around. Yeah, I think a tiny, Godzilla in the city is going to get a big, cute show. Yeah, and the prevalence was tiny, right? Yeah. It's kind of nice. Yeah. And it was all granddance, but... Granddance was great. Oh, big fat things in cat taking over your city. It would be funny. So Garfield, so Garfield taking over New York in order to protect us from tiny Godzilla. We give up our rabbits. (laughter) We gladly sign them over to Garfield because he can protect us from tiny Godzilla. It's just some fact, right? In Garfield. Because he already came on New Garfield. We're going to Morris to catch the nine lives of this. That'd be fine. He's like the... He's like the hydroxing Garfield's Oreo. (laughter) That's what it can be said. What's the ratio that you wish you could pay out for that? Well, to be on. I never thought that way, but I loved it. I liked I do my genies out of it. And I like the inside of my genie battle, which I'm always trying to recreate in my life. Like, you know, city corps, it was in telephony, it was in TV. She just had that kind of, you know... First of all, round approaches. I mean, like a conversation. If I was looking at houses, and the house was condemnable, but had a conversation pin, I'd be like sold. Yeah. I want a conversation pin. And she lived in a conversation pin being a bomb. Well, they could remake it, and she could live in a hall of all pain now. You know, because it's kind of shaped, hall of pain, and being high on it, you know? She wouldn't be like a stupid guy. That'd be a good place for her to live. (laughter) And then the house came over. But you looked the witch, as well. 'Cause I was well pregnant. You couldn't really like both of the same. I don't know, I don't know who you liked. And you were in the mutual room. I didn't think I was telling, and I didn't have the hat, but I was like, "I'm a bomb." Did you describe it as your favorite character? I'm not sure. No. I liked it, Dora. I liked her as an actor. I loved her. I loved her and everything. Yeah. And I liked it, Dora. She was working with her. She loves the sort of Dora who appeared in Alice Goldstone. But I like that, then, how many of you have? We tried to make some strange new candy, where I wanted that eagle. I wanted an ant. Right. But I wanted to have the exact opposite, you know, brown hair, a good eagle. I think she made it back. And I loved that idea. You told me that usually when you do research new candy, you wanted to get some very serious to work on a show. Yes. When we were looking for writers to help us, we were thinking of the woman you wrote on, a song about that. She worked on 30-something. She worked on 30-something, but I didn't get into that until I was here. Right. It was there at AT&T. And stuff later in the afternoon. She was so good in that. Oh, 30-something is fantastic in that show. That was the first show aside from James and 15, which I don't know if you watched that. Oh, yeah. And it felt like a show that actually seemed to capture real kids in a show, and like, something for Zoom. I like to see them. Those seem like real kids, unfortunately. Two of them used to have, they shopped up for three years in the 70s for a period of decades. I used to write them letters and piss that I wrote back. Well, like, everyone that made it was dead. Because it's like, "Scent, I didn't do two letters going to a skeleton and a strict jumper." But we keep delivering them all around. Well, what was the difference between my soon home life and James and 15? What was the difference? Well, James and 15 was late 70s, took place in Boston. It started Kerwin. What was his first name? Lance Kerwin. Oh, I think he's so good. Lance Kerwin was recently kind of rested for being his underage wife. I believe he's a born again Christian. It's very true. He was a 15-year-old kid with Boston, Portland, and it was just like his child's tribulations, but he was in his virginity and, like, trying drugs and getting enough and being able to swim as he came in. We're finding a deaf football player, which, fair enough, you know, that seems to be a good guy. And my soul told life was about a girl who didn't do any of those things. They had a similar vibe with sort of capturing the actual things that teenagers go through, which I don't even forget me if I'm missing any shows, but I don't know if there are any shows that I actually do now. I feel like there are any shows I've ever... They're all about teenagers who are rich, and, like, their problem is they're a big guy from Mercedes. I feel like they're sweet. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like they're a big problem is they're a vampire. Well, I was... [laughter] Hangouts. I always thought of hearing about suicide, and each week she tries to kill herself, which she's not successful. And it would be... It would have been a choice done, and it would be a positive message about suicide. It would not want to kill yourself. That would be thought about something like... You know, I remember pitching an idea maybe 15 years ago. A teenage girl tries to kill yourself. Well, each one she's not successful. You know, but... Oh, she learns a lesson like that. She learns a little bit about her mother's life, you know, because based on that play about suicide, she's called Sissy Space Sickles and then... Oh, yes. I was a call. I did it once. Night, night, night, night. Night, night. And I just love that baby TV show. She tried to kill herself in different ways. She never went in a different way. Each week. And I remember all of her was like, "Jazzie, what have you been doing to yourself when they're at the end?" And then, yeah, you know, just trying to make it funny, but, you know, there's so many kids that are around, and they're being led by, and then maybe they won't do it. Yeah, there's a way to make it work. You have to come up with 24 innovative ways to kill yourself every season. Yeah, you do that. Fair enough. Fair enough. Yeah. I always thought that it'd be a great show if you had a talk show where you were interviewing people, and guests was on a ledge. So, you're in like a window, and then the guest is on a ledge? Yeah. Not an actual ledge, like a ledge set. Would you hit the shoulder mechanism? Would you have a success for the killer side? I think yes. I think so. You're going to have to be a tuner mother man. Suicide used to come up a lot until the fact that they had three suicide episodes. Of course, suicide episode of Family Times, there were a lot of suicide episodes. It was kind of shocking how many times it came up on TV and games. You could argue that the death by entering the suicide on the Hogan family was headed. Don't hang out with chicks from Europe. We're going to not share that. It's from Europe. It's from Europe. So, we're choosing a lot of time. But TVI is not just a formula as you know. It has a few things. I actually mentioned TVI is almost nothing to a writer, which has a lot of power. TVI used to get a pretty smart human, the 70s, because they're like, "Yeah, find out where they became." "Oh, yeah, where did my TVI come?" "Yes." So, they wouldn't even think of Cheers and Cheers every week. Well, they were Cheers TV and Cheers TV. Mostly Cheers. There are not Cheers and Cheers in this particular issue. But if you want to cheer any cheer for television, for when you were watching the most TV at this time, what would they be? "I'd say cheer for maritime war and it cheers for chips." Cheers for chips? "Cheers for chips." "What if maritime war started in your chips?" Like, "It was maritime war." "Okay, now I still don't think I'd watch it." "Did you ever watch maritime war? Maritime war is a weird, variety show of sitcoms in the 70s?" "Yeah." She had a look at the maritime war power. That was the second half was a variety show. And the first half was a sitcom of her putting together the variety show. "And it's good." The first role Michael Keaton never had. He was no vacuum production assistant. Fantastic show. Veritel Mora, animated for 8 episodes. "The TV Guide has to come out in print." "It does. It's still printed every week." "It is." "Which makes no sense." "Is it the same size or is it large enough?" "It's now a full magazine through it." "I wasted that." "Which is good because nobody needs a TV guide." Like, I'd mention the people who need a TV guide would not know how to operate a television. "How much is it?" "It's 250." Yeah, weekly TV. It's kind of like, TV guide never started people who were like, "Enter table weekly is up its own mass." And people were like, "You think that? Let me tell you." "This is the people's guide." And if you use papers, why it's still in print TV on us? Because did you guys get TV on you? "We did. We got TV guide. A lot of times you gave me up." And it's not that we actually have. Yeah, I like to discover a weird, a weird theory. There's a few people who disagree with us, but everyone I know who got the TV guide out of the newspaper, the free TV guide, sometimes called TV Week, had a toaster on it. Instead of toaster. To the point where people know, "We didn't get TV guide back home, would you come get toaster on it?" "Who are you?" Do you get on toaster on TV Week? How many people here have a toaster oven? Or how long do I have? Yeah. Do you get on toaster oven? Did you get TV guide? To get one person? I just got to find a way for the first time in February, just because I'm going to get it for, taking something out of my rabbit and I had to get one. But I had to say I was a lot of them. Did you get tested? Did you get everything out? It was this round thing. She was our, she was elderly. And I had to get these round, like, ceramic things. He was covered in the foot and in the fabric. And then we had one of the morning pads, and then she would sit on it. And I was like, "I don't have a microwave." Even then it was like, "You don't have a microwave." Like, "Who is room for microwave?" Did you go to the store and go, "What's the best microwave you have for heating up a rabbit bed?" No, I tried a friend of mine told me what to give. And, you know, I guess I spent too much on lunch. She was like, "Why don't you spend that much on us?" Fucking don't know. What do you want to talk about? Have you come through me? I just warm things up. I can have this once in a while from my home. Yeah, it's a parkour. It's a filter. Yeah, I gotta clean it up. And so you clean it up? What do you clean the inside into your clinic? What do you clean it with? Oh, that's kind of true. I don't understand what I can put in there. Like, I don't understand what you're allowed to put in it. Don't you? I mean, if you were, like, drunk there, you're like, "What is that, man?" Don't put your head in there. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. You know, plastic versus granite. Don't put metal in there. No. Don't unless you like lightning. Really? You don't make a little lightning show. Is it some tinfoil? Yeah, tinfoil will go off. It's a little tinfoil. No tinfoil. No tinfoil. You know what's fun? If you put marshmallows in there, they get huge. They expand, like, 30 times their normal size. And then they open the door. They sure break down. Uh, she... I used to do that. [laughter] Look at my marshmallow. We can figure it out. [laughter] Well, I was like... It's over. Maybe my seventh favorite pasta besides watching TV was seeing how hot I could get her would bring her so to go. It was a little dialogue just to throw wood into it until the front door was, like, maxed out. And then someone's nose would bleed. [laughter] That would happen. I had quite friends over. [laughter] And then they'd be like, "Look how hot is it?" And then they'd be like, "The fire started when the moon was expecting public stakers. And then they'd be like, "Ahh!" I'm like, "We got it hot enough in here!" That was the number one. This is aside from dying from these different colors. And number two was just, uh, then making marshmallows get bigger than microwave and trying to be fast enough to open the microwave when they were still big and touch everyone. [laughter] But it was such a weird thing to, like, teach us about the fleetingness of life. And then they'd be like, "No!" They would shrink. And then eventually, you would just lose its structural integrity and just melt. Oh, what a pain that would be to clean up. That was turned out. Marshmallows. Yeah. It was just being a marshmallow in the microwave. I'm going to get you to put a miniature one in here and get the sides over again in the microwave. [laughter] It's going to be the same thing. [laughter] On the same tip, find miniature marshmallows and make their normal sides on your microwave. Fun! [laughter] All right, it's fun. I'm going to try that. It's fun. [laughter] A hot sponge? And then a natural sponge of lemonade. It's just a bad idea. I know what you mean. I know what kind of sponge you're talking about. Do you think people who use real sponges are fucking creeps? [laughter] They'll leave as fun as you mean. Yeah, look at that. Because you know, sponge is like a dead animal. You're probably an animal on yourself to get clean. That's, that's really weird, right? Well, is there something about that with sponges right now? Is there something in it? Is it about sponges? The animal. What? I don't know. We're in there. There were some of the news recently about sponges, like that kind of sponge. They were like in the news? Yes. [laughter] I was thinking of that someone that, that is fun is like, like a living creature. Some guy was like, like, I could wash myself with this. [laughter] I think if I rip it on myself, I'd feel clean. And have like five or six different animals that try not to show them that. [laughter] One more. Well, thank you, Sarah. Thank you for being with us. The first live TV audience concert. [applause] Thank you all so much for having us with Joe. [applause] And there you have it. We got through it, everybody. We did it. Our first live event, the live TV guidance counselor for New York Super Week at Brooklyn Brewery and reminder, again, our second one will be in Boston on November 8th. It's a Saturday. It's at 3 p.m. It's at the Davis Square Theatre, part of the Boston Comedy Festival. It's me. It's a manual Lewis. You've got to go to this. Definitely sign up for our email list on tvguidescounsel.com. You'll get more details. You may get codes for money off tickets. I'm not promising anything, but that may happen. And as always, email me, kennedy.com. Go to our Facebook page and all that kind of thing. That I always tell you to do every week. And, you know, if you haven't done it by now, you may not. But that's fine. I have to say it. I have to do it. So, please tune in Wednesday. We'll have an all-new non-live episode of TV guidance counselor. ♪♪ Polar and a whacky doorknob machine. Polar has a fine machine. The doorknob machine is a whack in its own. It's nonstop by us. [MUSIC PLAYING]