TV Guidance Counselor
TV Guidance Counselor Summer Special Edition: Lamont Price
(music) Hello and welcome to TVGuys' concert, everyone. It is not Wednesday. It's Friday, but it's summertime. So you are in for a treat. Today is a special edition, our first summer special edition. And what is a summer special edition? Well, by popular demand, we've got some emails from some fans of the show. They wanted to hear us do a weekday in the summer. We're on summer vacation. We're watching TV all day. So that's what we did. We picked a day from 1990. Lamont Price is a very, very funny comedian. You should definitely check him out. He was named one of Comedy Central's comics to watch. He's one of my favorite comedians. He's a good friend of mine. He and I are very similar. We talk about that in the show. It's a long one, but a fun one. So please enjoy this week's special edition of TVGuys in this counselor with Lamont Price. (music) This is Lamont Price. Hey, Ken. Thanks for having me. You're welcome. Welcome to the home. I can't believe this is the first time you've been here. I've seen the pictures you posted on Facebook. Yeah. And stuff. And I think this house is the house I envision when I dream. I'm not kidding. All right. This is not hyperbole. Just when I thought it couldn't get any better with the cartoon stuff. All the board games, TVGuys for years. Yeah. Then I noticed in the back window here you have different flavored syrups. Yeah. Yeah. Specifically for the shaved ice situations. Yeah. Yeah. I'm very lavender. The 12 you roll to me right now is losing his mind. Yeah. Well, we're very similar. Which people... If you... If you just next to each other. Society screwed up. Yeah. If you just stood a section of each other, people go, "There's no way they could have anything in common." No. But we are very, very similar. So it would make sense that, you know, a house that I would make Taka Koon myself would be also very appealing to you. Even the... You had the music in there. Yeah. And it was a Calypso band. Oh yeah. Like 80 songs. Yeah. It was a lot of them before. But immediately I'm like, "Yeah, of course." Yeah. I could live in this environment all the time. You're welcome. We had a guest from you. All the time. And it's summer. You know, you want senior coconut playing smooth operator. Yeah. That's how you get into the mood. And it wasn't even like... You know what it was? It wasn't even like a cheesy... No, it's not good. They're not making fun of the songs. Yeah. They're not making fun of the songs. They're just playing it in their style. And it works. Yeah. Oh, it's great. I love that stuff. And for a very special reason, sort of by request from listeners. And I meant to do something similar to this. I was going to do a home sick edition, which we'll do at some point in the future. But a couple of listeners actually have emailed in and wanted me to do summer vacation TV. Right. So a weekday, your home in the summer, and I couldn't do a better person to do that one than you. Okay. And so that's what we're doing. So this week we have a summer vacation. You picked summer 1990s. Specifically, we're doing Monday, August 20th. Yes. August 20th, 1990. Why did you pick 1990? I mean, this is junior high. This is the height of like you're not a little kid anymore. Yeah. And I'm just starting to adventure and like getting on my bike, just riding around. You're a little more independent. I'm a little bit more independent, but I'm still bound to my cartoons. Right. I'm still like Lamont, where are you? Or my mom like Lamont, like screaming for me. If she comes home. So this is just a very, you know, coming of age, if that makes sense. Yeah. And this thing is a little moment. Yeah. It's huge. It's huge. All the things that I tried to do, I tried to accomplish when I tried to be more adult than I am, than I thought I could be. Cause for me, any, like any movie that features kids together on some kind of adventure. Stand by me. Stand by me. E-T. Right. I loved it. Like it's monster squad. Goonies. Monster squad. My goodness. The explorers. Yes. One of my favorite lines. I still get shows. People are not thinking about it. It's for me to, when they were going to, when they would break an E-T out of the whole government thing. And then basically, um, Elliot's in the, in the, in the car, and his brother comes by and he just, his orders are simple. Get the bikes. Yeah. And for, for a kid that age, get the bikes. That's, that's. That solves. That's. We, we have to get the gun. Bikes were a big deal. Huge. Yeah. I, I, I, I, for being a complete couch potato TV kid, I rode bikes all the time. Yeah. And I had a bike, I wanted a Huffy Vortex more than anything else. I remember the Huffy Vortex. I had a Huffy. You had a Huffy Vortex. I believe so. I know I had a Huffy. With the wheel covers, it was real space-aged. The Huffy Vortex was like their future bike. Did I have the, this women's gray? I know I had a Huffy. It had hubcaps. It was in. But you know what? I might not have had a vortex. Okay. But I definitely had a Huffy. Yeah. I had a Huffy as well. For me it was like, either a Huffy or BMX. Right. And I definitely, I had a Huffy and I remember. Did kids make fun of kids in your school who had a Murray? Oh. That was like always the lowest. That was like the zips of bikes. I don't remember that, but I do remember like when I was like in fourth grade, I had a pair, my parents wouldn't get me Adidas and that's what everybody was wearing. Yeah. And they got me a pair of ruse. No, no, no. No. It was like a sneaker with a Playboy bunny on the side. In hindsight, cooler than I did. In hindsight, cool. But at nine years old, kids just don't understand it. Yeah. Do you think we were on clearance somewhere or something? Definitely. I am sure it was on clearance. Yeah. There's no doubt about it because- They weren't like, I think baby, we're on with like this Playboy bunny sneaker. The sneakers weren't on the rack. They were in a bed. Yeah. And my parents like, we're getting these. These look like they'll fit. And I just remember pleading. I felt like Fresh Prince and parents just don't understand. I'm like, come on. I have to deal with this. My question would be, why are they making Playboy bunny sneaker small enough for children? Dude. I don't even know. It could be that it wasn't affiliated at all. It just looked like it. Yeah. It just looked like it. Yeah. I don't remember exactly that. That was one thing. Kids are not forgiving. I was remembering third grade. My parents made me, and I went to public school. Yeah. My parents on the first day of third grade. My parents made me put on a shirt and tie for the first day. Is this in Dorchester? This was, well, I lived in Dorchester. I grew up in Dorchester, but the school, I went to four different elementary schools. Okay. Third grade, I went to the Channing, which was in Hyde Park. And that's one of my favorite schools, too, by the way. I love going to that school. I wore the shirt and tie. And that was the only time I ever wore a shirt and tie. But for the rest of the school year, the story of my three-piece suit. Oh, just cocky. Okay, but Tuxedo. Yeah. I mean, double-breasted. Yeah, it was. With the briefcase. By the end of the school year, I was coming from a wedding. You know what I'm saying? Do they brand you a nickname? Not for that. Okay, come on. In school, in my school, you would have been called shirt and tie for the rest of the entire elementary school. Well, I think that could have been a thing, but the only reason that it didn't become a thing, and I remember this vividly, there's a kid. It was named Cedric. And not the Entertainer. No, not the Entertainer. Any chef's spitball at me. Remember spitballs? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Shut a spitball at me. And the teacher, Miss Kinsey, who I hated, was talking to a parent outside. So you know, we're friends of time to retaliate, I do my spitball, and I get ready to do it. Miss Kinsey just happens to catch me. Oh, so you got back? And then she goes, "Lomont, don't you dare." And that became a song for the rest of the year. "Lomont, don't you dare." So that's all you heard. That's all I heard for the rest of the year. Yeah. That's not a bad one, though. That kind of comes from a place of bad-assed him. So it's not a bad one. Well, yeah. You can destroy me. Yeah. I laughed along with everybody. You know, and I got my revenge sold off because Miss Kinsey was not a small woman. Right. And it was one day she sat in her chair, and I kid you not. She had like a, you know, a teacher chair, the wooden chair. Yeah, yeah. The back of the chair just broke off and fell down. Yeah. That happened in my school to some of the bigger teachers. If we could all stand up and applaud, we would have. I was vindicated. I was like, "Yes." 2011, was this the summer between elementary school and junior high? Uh, yeah. Yeah, I remember. Okay. So that's a big summer. Huge, man. My parents separated. That year? Yeah, like earlier. Okay. There's a lot going on. Like, yeah. So that whole time where, you know, your parents would be like, "Listen, don't do this." Right. Or go to bed at this time. A lot of distraction going on. They were sorting their own shit out at that time. So I was getting away with a lot. Yeah. Yeah. A lot. And like, you know, my friends would be like, "Oh, look at my, are you parents? That's a tough time?" Yeah. Two Christmases, man. Yeah. I mean, it'll be buying my love. I can't, I can't, I can't, they're not having sex anymore. That's my fault. How is that my fault? I'm glad that's done. Yeah. Less chance of me walking in on something crazy. So you're living with your mom? Yes. Okay. And you have two siblings? Two sisters. Two sisters. Ever brother and a sister. Yeah. Younger. Yeah. Okay. So were they affected more by the divorce than you are? Not really. My sister very young. I don't die. My sister was like, my sister was just one. Okay. My brother was like seven. So your sister never knew anything else. You're old enough to see it as an opportunity. Yes. Okay. So that's the world we're living in here in this summer of 1990. Yeah. And it's August. So you've kind of established your summer ways by this point. You gave your summer pattern down. Summer's down. The thing about summer, when I was a kid, and I still get excited about it, and we talked about this earlier, when the school year ends, I've been out of school for years. Yeah, you feel free. I feel free. Anything's possible. Any place I can go the head or wooded area, my bike, the escape, all that stuff. Stay up all night. Oh, everything. And one thing that I always remembered, and that made me feel good, I had the sense of freedom that I could just drink juice all summer. Were you not allowed to? No, no, no. That's the thing. I could drink juice all the time. Yeah. But something about juice and summertime made sense. Yeah, yeah. You get the tropical fruits. Yeah. You know what I used to drink in the summer? Oceanspray. Oceanspray. You used to do a drink called Maui Lao, and it was like a passion fruit guava drink. It was like neon pink, and they only sold it in the summer. And my dad would always buy it because they'd always be on sale in the summer, because when they would bring it out. So I always associate that juice with summer, like sitting outside, drinking this Mona Lao Just like anything with a lot of flavors, I don't remember, but the colors would bring me out. Yeah. Every blue was a thing. Oh, yes. You're talking Kool-Aid stuff? Yeah, Kool-Aid stuff. Squeeze it. Oh, squeeze it. We're huge. Yeah. Teeny, teeny juicers. Teeny drinks? Yep. I got some of my fridge right now. Do you really? Yeah, you want one? Uh-huh. Okay. Get a Mona Teeny drink. That was a very guttural uh-huh. What color do you want? Right there. Blue. Purple is the closest I've got. Take it. I'll take it. Dude. Do you want any drink? Are you kidding me? I haven't, I haven't had one of these. So I don't know if those are unique to New England or not. The thing we're talking about- This is crazy. They're, they were called teeny drinks here, and they're like tiny plastic. They look like little milk jugs, and they have just colored sugar water. There's probably not a single natural element. Nothing. There's nothing- Yeah. When's the last time you had one of those? Early 90s, maybe. Okay. So we're a doc of 20 years ago. I remember there would be so sugary. Many kids would just start choking. Like, they'd take a sip and just start choking. You'd get them at like birthday parties with hoodsies. Who are these weak children that can't handle their fake juice? Yeah, they can't handle that sugar. Your fake juice. You know what it basically is? It's, it's like liquid freeze pops. It's like the stuff that's in freeze pops, but not frozen. It's probably the same exact stuff. Freeze pops are so huge. Summertime freeze pops are so huge. Did you have an ice cream man that would come around to you everyone? Yes. Yes. What was your go-to treat? Ah, man, it would depend. It would be a WF bar. The WF bars were good because I like the cookie. Yeah. The cookie on the outside. Yeah. It was like this clown face thing. With this gumball eyes? With the gumball eyes that I love getting to. And I also love like a toasted on my bar, that kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. I love that stuff. Anything, anything with a crunch to it? Yeah. I was on top of it. Yeah. I like the eclares, the good humor eclares, which had the crunch on the outside. Big fan of that. I was also the guy that would go for the chip witch. I mean, that's the classic. You got to go for the chip witch. Yes. You know, you get, you get distracted by the belt bells and whistles. The cookie on the outside. Ice cream in the middle. You can't do better than that. I'm on top. You can't do better. And sometimes this day, I will like an old fashioned ice cream sandwich. Yes. Just the chocolate that gets on your fingers and the perfect. I have a box of them at home, right? I feel the same way every summer, even though, you know, I have a job. My job doesn't change. Right. It's the same as it is all year round. But once the summer hits, this year actually hit me for the first time. I kind of felt this sense of loss and like a weirdly aching nostalgia because I come home every day at lunch to take the dog out and summer vacation just started. And so I'm seeing the kids sort of the first two weeks of summer vacations when everyone goes nuts. Like they try to fit in everything for the summer in those two weeks. So I'm seeing kids running around on their bikes, having water gun fights, running around in the field and I'm just walking this dog and I got to go back to work in 10 minutes and I'm just like, "Oh, they don't even know. They don't even know what they have here. Yeah. Going to the pool. Like they're doing, you know, I love the public pool. I love it. My biggest fear and I think I still have it with things that I love is that I'd enjoy what I was doing, but I'd have a fear of like the time is ticking down. Yeah. It's ticking down. I'll never do this again. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It's only so and so many days. So school starts again. Yeah. Okay. That's cool. Like if I watch a cartoon, like for say holiday specials, Charlie Brown Christmas comes on. Yeah. And I start watching it and immediately I'm like, "Oh, 10 minutes have gone by. It's almost over." And that fear. Christmas almost done. Yeah. I'm pretty sure I didn't talk to a counselor. I mean, I think that's normal though because you look forward to summer vacation all year. Yeah. It's what gets you through the school year. And you know that you have it coming. It's not going to not happen. And you just wait and wait for it. So when it's there, the first thing you think of is it's going to end and I'm going to be back here. Back to the Savior. And it's sort of the first thing I remember really trying to make a concentrated effort to enjoy because it's like this is a time that I have to enjoy. And at age 11, 12, you know, 10, 11, 12, I was staying up late. But once you hit like 13, 14, you're kind of sleeping all day. That's when you start sleeping until like noon, 2 o'clock. So at this time you're watching TV. That was one of the greatest things was you got to stay home and watch TV all day and you weren't puking because you weren't home sick. And so were you home alone or was your mom's work I imagine in the daytime? My mom worked. I'd be home. My aunt lived next door. Okay. My brother, sister, everything. I wouldn't have that. Yeah. I wouldn't have that burden. So you just be in the house alone? Sometimes. Yeah. I just go out, you know, yes. Yeah. That was me. I mean, my mom worked all day and my dad worked in the summer. My dad got him like four o'clock and my sister would go to her friends and my aunt's or something. So when I'm 10, 11, I wake up and no one's home and I'm there all day by myself and it was great. It was the best. It was great. And my mother would she had like a, she would take Tuesdays and Fridays off in the summer and then since we go to the beach, which in hindsight I'm like, oh, I like the beach now, but then it was awful because I couldn't stay home and watch TV and I have to sit at the beach all day and it'd be so boring. I'd bring a tent, I'd read comics, I'd sit in there, but then I'd really savor the Monday Wednesday and Thursday and then I got to watch whatever I wanted. If we could somehow combine the technology of today with that awesomeness back then. You could watch TV at the beach, bring my iPad to the beach. Oh, yeah. My phone has an app where I can watch things from my DVR, my cable box on my phone wherever I am. I couldn't even imagine. Like, if someone told me that was a possibility at some point, there's no way I would have believed it. That's crazy. I do a bit sometimes where I say like, listen, I'm from Dorchester. You can drop me in pretty much any quote unquote hood in America and I'd survive. Yeah. But if you drop me in 1989, I'd be finished. Yeah. I wouldn't know how to do anything. You got to do anything. I don't know how to do anything. I don't know your phone number. Yeah. I don't know my mother's phone number. Yeah. I don't know my phone number. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't know anything. You couldn't get on a bike and just drive somewhere and find your way back. No, I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Yeah. Back then now, how do we get along? Yeah. I'd go riding around. I'd get lost. I wouldn't care. I'd get back. You know what I wonder if kids do now is, obviously now kids can text other friends and be like, are you around? And if they're not, they just won't go over their house. Right. But you would go on a quest to find people to hang out with. Yep. And you'd start hitting like 10 or 20 houses to see if people are home. Just find your friends. Are you home? Are you people home? And it would be like a physical quest to find people or you'd run in, but you don't have to do that now. You can do all the recon. I saw a meme and it said this was how you found your friends in like the 80s or whatever. Yeah. And it was just a front lawn with bikes all over. Yeah. That's how you know what your friends are. And that's the truth. But it's sort of teaching kids detective work. Like I feel like it's teaching you intuition skills that you don't have to develop. Yeah. Sure. Which is why we're better than that. I think that generation that we came up in the hell with Dan rather in his greatest generation with no playstations, no video games, no video games, you're the best. Yeah. Whatever, dude. There's no bionic six in the 40s, bionic, bionic six, dude, yeah, there's none of that. This generation here, late 70s, early 80s born, yeah, we're just better. Yeah. Yeah. We're better. Probably the best. And we, in the prelude to all this stuff, because I think a lot of the video games and stuff that we have now is because of technology, the cartoons that we had then, yeah, if they had technology, it would have been video games now. Yeah, mostly. That kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? I'd play a bionic six video game. Oh, man. You can make it look just like the cartoon though. Dude, it would be great. It'd be fantastic. So we'll get on that. I've been. So we're starting Monday morning, 9 a.m., because that's probably what time you'd get up. Now, would you make yourself breakfast cereal? Okay. So here we go. Here's... All right. So, I guess this is a roundabout story here. My friends, we, our whole goal, while we were still very mature and the whole coming of age thing, we wanted to be, we started the girls, became a thing. Yeah. And it was like, we want to impress them. Yeah. So... Still a thing. That summer, my best friends and I, our whole goal in life was to get what we quote, "cock diesel." Okay. We're going to be diesel, we're going to dress in the, whatever. And that was our whole plan. And that just means like swab? No. Get, like, chapped. Oh, get, like, chacked. Okay. I don't know. 11-year-olds. Yeah. We don't... That's what we... That was our plan. Okay. We're going to be cock diesel coming into the next school right here. And that was the thing. It's a big year. You're going into junior high. You want to reinvent yourself as a man. We want to be impressive. Yeah. All right. So, part of that was exercise. Yeah. Right? Not a bad thing. Not a bad thing. Early on, sometimes I'd stay up late or get up early early and I would watch a show called Body Electric. Okay. It came on like 10 or 25 or something. Yeah. This is an exercise show. Right. So, if you looked at the show, it looked very '70s porn. Yeah. You know what I mean? With a 20-minute workout. Yeah. It was really seedy. But I'd get up with them and I would do whatever they did and I didn't think I was doing... Tell us that. Yeah. I would do all that stuff and it would be up for like a half an hour and I couldn't wait to the cooldown. Yeah. I was like, all right. Good. Well, sick of these sit-ups gets to the cooldown. Yeah. What would happen is I would underestimate my own fatigue. So, if I stayed up late to watch the show, I wouldn't know when I'd fall asleep. Right. So, one morning I did... Stayed out late to exercise already as a whole exercise. It's ridiculous. Right. It was ridiculous. I mean, that wasn't the sole reason I stayed up. Well, yeah. I had to stay up because I was like, I can do this. Right. No one's paying... I don't have to do that anymore. Yeah. Yeah. One morning I did the exercise. I'm like, all right. I'm gonna make breakfast. Yeah. I'm gonna do this. I decided to boil eggs. I go to boil... I put the eggs in. It's like six... six 30 in the morning. Yeah. And I... I'll put the... I'll take a while. I'll go in the living room, fall asleep. The next thing I... What I wake up to is... La Moneric! 'Cause that's my mom. Yup. Mental name is used. Yup. Deep trouble. Going to the kitchen. Eggs on the ceiling. It just exploded. Eggs on the ceiling. Last. She didn't let me cook. Well, that was... That was one of two incidents that barred me from the kitchen. The other one was me making English muffin pizzas. Okay. So, you're getting to transfer the pizzas from the plastic tray. Oh, look at a meltdown. And I had a meltdown. And I knew that it would take like 45 minutes to cook. Yeah, yeah. So, I put them in the oven and went hopped on my bike. And the next thing I... Fire trucks. Yeah. So... Just took off. It looked like you were trying to burn the place down. Yeah. Feel like that's how convenient that you were there. And I was not there. Oh. Man from the kitchen. Right. For the entire summer. So, my dad... I don't know where he... Big on like some guy I work with got me this stuff that fell off a truck kind of stuff. Right. So, I don't know where he got this from, but we had a freezer in the back like an extra freezer. Right. That was just always stopped with weird stuff. Like, my dad would go hunting once a year and he'd stock it with like deer meat. But there was always sort of fast food restaurant style frozen breakfast stuff in there. So, like French toast sticks and like just an unmarked cardboard boxes that would just say like frozen French toast sticks. Would it be like the stuff maybe they bring to schools? It could be school. Yeah. Like that one. French toast sticks and school. Yeah. Kind of stuff. Yeah. And it was... Yeah. It was definitely some like industrial cardboard box generic frozen French toast sticks were big. We had mini bagel pizzas in there and these weird frozen carrot cakes and frozen eggs. That stuff was huge. It was always in the free, it was always stuck with, I don't know where it got it. I don't know where it came from. So that I would eat that in the morning out of that and then I'd have toast with cream cheese. I would have like a seven course breakfast. So, you watch Body Electric. I watch Body Electric. I start my day with that. I start my day with that. If I was up somehow. There were things that would come on like around that time and I really can't remember that if I didn't stay up for them I'd be pissed. 9am. All right. So, I'm going to do that guide. Yep. And it was pretty standard cartoon syndication fair like older cartoons so like Popeye would be on it now and I watch Popeye. Tom and Jerry. Tom and Jerry. That whole hour from now, like even before it even penciled in the 8am hour, Muppet Babies was big. Yeah. Muppet Babies in 1990 was on every day. It was CBS's huge breakout Saturday morning show. Muppet Babies and Garfield and Friends went into syndication in 1990. They were on every day for usually an hour. I would always watch them when possible. I'd still watch them now. The show's hold up. Yes. I watched Muppet Babies two weeks ago. It's fantastic. Dennis the Menace I loved. Yeah. I loved Dennis the Menace. I loved animated or live action? Animated. Okay. Now, I'd have cable. Yeah. That's a kid. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. There's a lot that I missed. And if I went to a Friends house, they would, my friends would think I was weird because Nickelodeon would show a lot of say 50s and 60s black and white shows. I'd never seen Dennis the Menace to be one of them, and I would be, I would just, because you've never seen it. You've never seen it. Never seen it. Never seen it. So I'd be fascinated. Like, that's boring. No, no, no. This is amazing. What are you talking about? You know, so summertime and black and white stuff, I dug it. You know? Another thing about Dennis the Menace the cartoon. Like, I don't think it gets credit for being as well done cartoon as it is because there were two different dentists. Like, if Dennis was with his parents or Mr. Wilson, he was more of a, he acted, it was just a pest. Yeah. He was his friends. He was the leader. Yeah. He was the, it was like a different Dennis. Yeah. It was a different dynamic altogether. They, they played those sides perfectly. Yeah. Yeah. Which actually is, is a pretty mature approach for a children's show because you do have to do that as a kid. Yeah. It's weird. I mean, it is reality. Yeah. Absolutely. It may end with my baby. It may end with the Menace. It may end with the Menace. 9/8. 9/8. 9/8. 9/8. I love Popeye. 9/30. I love TV Guide. Different strokes. Any syndicated sitcom, I will just stare at it. I can stare at it. I would have watched probably the talk shows at this time. Okay. So I saw... So at 9 a.m. I would have gone with Sally Jessie. I would have felt like I was really kind of watching an adult program and getting away with something. I would peek at stuff like that because it wasn't 10 o'clock like Jenny Jones. Yes. So, Sally Jessie this morning at 9 a.m. The topic is finding one's wife in bed with another man. Ooh. Yeah. So I would have been like, oh man. And in 1990, that is the height of porn. Oh yeah. Yeah. That is scandalous. That is ridiculous. And these shows would get sleazy like the Richard Bay show. Yeah, Richard Bay show. Richard Bay show. Yeah. Yeah. Jenny Jones was pretty sleazy. So yeah. I would have definitely watched that at 9 a.m. 10 a.m. What are you going with? 10 a.m. I put in, I was still cartoon driven, Mighty Mouse or sometimes I would, whatever was on PBS, I would turn to PBS and see what was on it. I like that. And actually just a side thing, if you like to stay home from school stuff, like if I were home from school, it would be a PBS from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. during school here, which was just show, quote, educational program, cheesy, movies, Mac, Louise McNamara, it figures, all that stuff. I would watch all that stuff. There was one show with the kids, the villain was Dunedin. Read all about it. Read all about it. Yes. Read all about it. Canadian show. Very terrifying. Yes. Yeah. I loved the PBS stuff. And actually that was my move at 10 o'clock. I'm watching a show on PBS called Secret City. And what this show was was a show about teaching you how to draw. And it was a guy named Commander Mark and he wore a military uniform. He had like a Janet Jackson head mic and he was drawing the Secret City and it was this weird alien city and he was always talking about foreshortening. That was this big thing, be like remember we got that foreshortening, actually half of the book, the Commander Mark's Secret City book I have. I don't remember. It's pretty great. You might, if you look it up on YouTube, it might come flooding back to you. Okay. And every day he'd teach you a new lesson on drawing. So like today we're talking about tapering or something. And then at the end of the show he had this huge mural that went around the length of the studio and it was the Secret City and he'd draw a new piece of the city. So he'd be like today we're going to draw a movie theater for the aliens. And he'd add that to the Secret City. And it was this really bizarre show. I feel like he might have been Canadian. I don't know anything about him. He had a huge mustache. Right. So I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. I'm going to draw a movie. 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Again, I could easily look over Chippendale's rescue range for Dinosaurs. Well, if I had, if I had access to Dinosaurs at that point, believe me. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is on, which I enjoyed. What's in a fan? Brady Bunch is on, which I would always watch. Love Brady Bunch. And on HBO, Teen Witch is on, which I love. Okay. Again, didn't have cable. So five o'clock, what are you going with? We're in the homestretch now in the last three hours. All right, here we go. It's dinner time. Five o'clock. I'm coming in from a day of running from dogs. The Double Day Ripoff Funhouse. Funhouse with JD. With JD Ross. Yeah. Yeah. I never missed Funhouse. Did you always want to be on Funhouse? Did you always want to be on Funhouse? I wanted to be on Funhouse and Double Day. I wanted to be on anything. Yeah. I wanted to be a child star. Would you get mad? Like when, because you probably worked out how to win the game. You know, you go through here first, you go through here. Give me over there. We all do. We all do. Then you'd be like, what are you doing? You're so stupid. Don't go in that room first. The nose. Pick the nose. Yeah. Yeah. Because that was like that booger thing, you had to pick up. Yeah. I never got into sports, but I would, I probably still would watch Double Dare and Funhouse the way people watch like the Super Bowl. The obstacle course. Oh, come on. The obstacle course. Yeah. Amazing. I did love Funhouse, but at this point, again, with my, I'm very mature, I was intrigued by a show called The Judge. And what this was, was the only real court show was P. Like, you're like 10. Yeah. The judge. The two shows. There were two shows. There was The Judge and Divorce Court. And Divorce Court then was different. What they would do is, because it was free, they would get transcripts from actual trials and then have really bad actors reenact them. So The Judge was real court cases with like B Hollywood actors, soap opera level actors that would read the transcripts from these shows in a really dramatic way. And it was hilarious, hilarious. I would kill for a show like that now, The Judge. Who was a real judge? You were like a 30 year old teddy road. I always was, I always was. So I was watching The Judge. When you're watching Funhouse, I will say that Facts of Life was on as well, which I would normally always watch, but The Judge, it just intrigues me. And every day USA Network used to show dance party USA, which I used to watch and try to copy the dance moves. Five 30 week old. All right. Here we go. Now we got a slash here. We got a slash. A couple slashes here at five 30, because Facts of Life came on again. Yeah. And I'd watch that blindly again, sitcom, I'd watch summertime. Okay. This episode is Mrs. Garrett and the girls reminisce about their summer vacation. So it's seasonal flashback. A lot of flashback. It's a clip show, but it's seasonally appropriate. Yeah. I'd watch that, or I'd watch, and probably more often than that, I'd watch three to one contact. Three to one contact was amazing. PBS show. In this particular episode of three to one contact, a week long series on farms begins with a study of pigs. And I hated Paco. There was a guy named, there was a kid named Paco on that show that came around that time and I hated Paco. I, kids always would watch it, they'd claim they watched three to one contact just for the bloodhound gang. Well. That was like the cool thing to say. That was like, yeah. It's a huge part of it. Remember the one with Willie Tyler in Western? I don't, oh, the, you mean, the, the, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But I really enjoyed the science of three to one contact. That was good. But yes, bloodhound gang was very big as a kid and if I, if somebody came to me right now says you can do one thing, I would probably stupidly yell out. I want to be a 12 year old who solves neighborhood mysteries. Wouldn't we all? That's what I would do. Yeah. I want to do that. Bloodhound gang was that in a way they were a little older, but yeah, that's like one of the oldest, the after all those like one kid who's dead. He was in the Warriors. I'm like, he was in the movie, the Warriors. Really? Yeah. The main kid in the bloodhound gang is in the Warriors and I, my dad loved the Warriors where I'd seen it all the time then and I was like, the bloodhound gang in the Warriors, I kind of think he might be the same character. I, for some reason, always link the bloodhound gang in the Warriors in my mind because of that. It had a great theme song. Whenever there's trouble, we're there on the double, we're at the old bloodhound gang. We got the time. Yeah. And then I, I, I was like, if I could do it now as an adult, it would be, uh, whatever there's trouble and we're not at work. Yeah. We're the bloodhound gang. And I have time. If you have, if you have the crime and I got some time. I might be, yeah. The only thing I would have that people would call me a member of the bloodhound gang was just bags under my eyes. That would probably be the only thing I had at that point. Uh, but I'm watching probably, again, I'm torn. Now that the summer reminiscing facts of life is probably what I'd end up going with because of the specific episode content, but on TV 38, we got the new Gidget, which I love. I would peek at that. Love it. But it had problems with 38 as a kid. I understand. You're a 56 guy. Well, here's the thing. This is the colors. And there's a reason I was saying this to you earlier, that I didn't really watch chairs until recently. Like I'd see in episodes, but I never watched it and I'd watch shows on 38, but it just seemed like an old person. It didn't seem like an old person's channel. Like the only channel that I had as a kid growing up that I would watch less than 38 would be 68. Yeah. It just seemed like, you know what it was for me? It was like 38 was for old people. Yeah. And for me, 68 was for like old British people. Yeah. That's why I felt like a danger mouse would be on there. Yeah. But 56 was definitely a kid's station. So I'm watching probably the new Gidget or night court, which I love. Night court was great. Six o'clock. What are you going with? All right. This is easy. Charles in charge. Love it. Charles in charge. That's true. I'm a Pembroke. I'm a Pembroke. I'm a Pembroke guy. Yeah. I love it. That was only like one season now. Yep. I we've talked about this before. I think the kids were better. Yeah. I think they were better actors. Less goofy. They didn't write Willie Ames as dumb. Right. By the end he was just like screech times 10. Yeah. He was not a normal person. He wasn't even human. Yeah. By the end of it. Yeah. The Pembrokes all the way. I wish they could have figured out something to keep them, but obviously they were contractual issues. No. Well, what happened was they got canceled. Well, the show was originally on a network. Right. They got canceled and then it came back two years later and first runs indicated. And everyone else had jobs. Yeah. They moved on. I would absolutely watch. The Charles is a relationship with the youngest Pembroke. Yeah. I can't think of his name right now. Jason. Jason. Yeah. That was awesome. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. It was just like that. Absolutely. That season's the best. Yeah. I'm Dyer Charles in charge. I'm with you on that at 6. 6.30 what are you going with? All right. I am still there. Still on 57. And I wasn't through his company. Couldn't do it. I love through his company. Couldn't do it. I love the misunderstandings. Yeah. No, I love a misunderstanding. But that show was all misunderstandings. Yeah. Like I felt like it was so sleazy. I was going to get yelled at. You know what I used to feel like anxiety? I would feel anxiety whenever they would promote good times. Because it was like, I always felt like JJ was going to get in trouble. Okay. And by default, you'd get in trouble? Yeah. I just felt for JJ. Yeah. And I felt, and every time they promoted it, it would go, ooh, JJ, JJ did it again. Up next time. I'm like, oh. JJ, just get off his back, man. Yeah. I didn't think of John Amos as like this. Well, he seemed like he'd crack his skull. That's what I'm saying. So I'd be worried for JJ. Yeah. I understand. I don't think you're alone there. Yeah. So I'm not going with Three's Company. I'm watching Nickelodeon. I'm going to make the grade game show Nickelodeon. See, this is the problem with my young life. I didn't have cable, so I didn't have these options. I, one of the only great things for my childhood was we did out here. Yeah. Yeah. So the final hour of the month, summer day, vacation, August 20th, 1990, 7 o'clock. I went to the TV guide and I couldn't find anything at 7 o'clock that I was specifically watched. So I pretty much stayed standard with 56 and I think I'd look at Taxi. It's Taxi was a show that seemed too old for me. It was too old for me. It was in that Cheers category. It was like that. It seemed like a Barney Miller. Barney Miller. Great shows. Love 'em now as a kid. Barney Miller was a show that my dad swore by. My dad's show was Barney Miller. If you heard the theme music, if I heard it, get away with something? Yes. From 7.30 to 8. On 38, I believe it came on was Barney. As soon as I heard doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, I could burn the house down. Yeah. And you tried with an egg. I did try. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't have watched it at this time because it was too old for me and I would have gone with love connection because I love seeing... Now what channel was that on? That was on Channel 7, which was our... You know what? This is a good chance that I watched that. Yeah. Love connection. The chance that I watched that. If you'd like to go out with them again, we'd pay for it. I say that, I say that probably once a week. Just inappropriately, if anyone has a choice or if they went somewhere and I'm like, how do you like it? And then, whatever they say, I'll always be like, well, if you'd like to go again, I'd be happy to pay for it. And then they never get the reference. They always think I'm just a huge weirdo. And I continue to do it. So Foolery is like really right-wing, like super tea party. I'm sure it is. You know what? I bet most game show hosts are. And I think I follow Pass-A-Jack on Twitter, and he seems... He's not as... Fun. Not as fanatical. Right. He's a fun follow. He writes a lot of funny stuff, but yeah, he's super right-wing. I bet. I'm not surprised by that. 7.30. All right. 7.30, one of the most underrated sitcoms of all time, Night Court. Night Court's amazing. Night Court's great. I love Night Court. Night Kids, too, because Harry was a nut. Yeah. And this one is their Trapped Doodle Hurricane. It's a two-part episode. I think I remember that. Four pregnant defendants. They're in the elevator with Dan. It's got every sitcom thing you want in a two-part episode. And the hookers will pile up. The hookers piled up. I loved shows when people were trapped somewhere. Loved it. Night Court was the show, along with my other children, where the first time I'd ever seen porn stars? Yeah. Because as I found out later, there was one episode where the DA's daughter, because Dan was the assistant DA, and the DA's daughter was in town, and he had to keep an eye on her for it. And she was played by Terry Weigel. Yes. Who was a Pennos pet? And a Playboy Playmate and went on to do pornography. Yes. And I remember thinking, that's when I was starting to perk up as a kid. Gotcha. Those Kelly Bunny dresses were, like the thing. Yeah. Yeah. Big high heels. So that is our summer day, Lamont. I do want to mention that it's Fall Preview Week as well. So NBC is showing a show that I loved and is a ridiculous show called The Whole High. That was a full-on musical. It was a serious high school drama. It was a glee. It was a glee. It was a glee. The head of its time. Only years, but head of its time. Kenny Ortega, who created Glee, actually worked as a choreographer on Hall High. Get out. The first preview episode they showed was this night, and I definitely would have watched it and checked that show out if you can. It's on mine. Hall High. I, when I was going through the TV get, I saw the ad for that and it sucked Carl Payne. Yeah. AKA Cockroach. Yeah. AKA Cole from Martin. Yep. On that show. Yeah. Yeah. I have Hall High. I can make a copy of it if you want to check. That was like, so the, the creator of that show can literally, literally go, we were ahead of our time. You were 30 years ahead. It was a huge bomb. It failed. It only aired about four episodes. People hated it. Hated it. The season is Coprock. People also hated it. Terrible idea. Well, I'm on press. We're home. It's summer vacation. Our day is over at eight o'clock. We're going out and setting things on fire. We are. We're going to do it tonight. Do it all again tomorrow. Can't wait. Thank you so much. Thank you. There you go. Happy summer everybody. If you were wondering what some of the odd noises in the background there was, that is my dog. He was chewing on things and squeaking things. It wasn't just some weird noises in the mountain I were making. So at least that's the story that I'm going with. So that was our summer special edition. So thank you guys so much for listening. Look out for a brand new episode Wednesday of our regular format. We'll have more of these special editions coming up. Let me know if you like them. Email me at Canadaicanread.com. Also make sure you like our Facebook. You could be a lucky winner of some TV memorabilia for my personal collection. So make sure you do that. Again, I love hearing from you. And we'll see you again next time on TV Guidance. [MUSIC]