TV Guidance Counselor
TV Guidance Counselor Episode 19: Michael Ian Black
- Wait, you have a TV? - No. I just like to read the TV guide. Read the TV guide. You don't need a TV guide. ♪ Scroll this planet ♪ ♪ Scroll this planet ♪ ♪ Scroll this planet ♪ (upbeat music) - Hello and welcome to yet another episode of TV Guindens Counselor. I am Ken Reed, your TV Guindens Counselor, and it is Wednesday, so it is time for an all-new episode of the show. If you are joining us for the first time, welcome. Just a reminder, the concept of the show is that I own every TV guide, pretty much every TV guide, let's say that, and someone picks a random TV guide from the past from my collection. They go through the week, write down what they would like to watch that week, and then we discuss their choices. My guest this week is someone I am incredibly proud to have as a guest on the show, Mr. Michael Ian Black, who's the guy that I've been watching on television for years. I always find him to be hilarious. I always enjoy everything that I see him in, and I was extremely pleased to have him as a guest. I think you're gonna really enjoy this episode. Also look for a very near cameo by another celebrity. I wanna say another, I'm referring to Michael Ian Black in this person, not myself, I'm not a celebrity. So get ready to listen to this week's all-new episode of TV Guindens Counsel with my guest, Michael Ian Black. ♪ TV movies made for TV, TV movies made for TV ♪ Mr. Michael Ian Black, thank you so much for doing the show. - Hello. - Welcome to the Somerville area of Boston. Thanks, luxurious Somerville. So you picked a TV guide out of the selection I presented to you from the week of September 10th, 1983. I can assume I know why you picked this one, but what appealed to you about this particular issue? - Well, this is the era in which I was probably watching my most television. - Okay. - Because I had nothing else to do. - Yeah. - And it was a time in my life when I was about 12, 11, 12 years old, when I was interested in what was on TV. - Yeah, this seems to be the era that most people pick, like ages eight to 12, where it's like you're old enough to not really wanna talk to your parents, but not really old enough to leave your house yet on your own accord. So that makes sense to me. And this is a fall preview edition, which is always a big deal. - Yeah, although what I didn't realize in picking the fall preview issue was that none of the shows that are on the fall preview are in the TV guide yet, and I didn't read the article. So it was kind of a dumb choice on my part. - Well, that would have happened. It would have been a tempting thing. You're at the counter of the supermarket to buy the TV guide buying the fall preview, and then you have to wait two weeks before you can actually see anything with it, which includes on the cover and a ring of tang in a three-piece suit. - Well, it also looks like there's a match spin-off there with Jamie Farr, William Christopher, and Henry Morgan, and some lady. - Which I believe is after-mash, or would it have been Trapper John M.D.? - No, Trapper John M.D. is already on because I'm watching that. - Okay. - I've got that on my schedule. - So maybe it was after- - Maybe it's after-mash. Did you ever see the show with Henry Morgan and Hal Linden Black's magic, where he played a magician, and Hal Linden played his father, and they sold Mr. He's- - No, it sounds awful. - And not a hit, somehow. I don't know why. And Hal Linden learned real magic just for that show. - But, so Hal Linden played Henry Morgan's father? - All the way around Henry Morgan played Hal Linden's father. I think they're probably two years apart. - I was gonna say. - Yeah, for some reason, they were like, a guy with a facial hair, really younger. - Why not just, they could have played brothers, or they could have played a mentor mentee? - I have to imagine that Hal Linden, although I've heard nothing but good things about him, must have been like, no way, he's my dad, and that's it. I'm playing a young man, that's in my contract. - It's very, very funny. - It's how we're doing it. So let's jump right in on Saturday night, eight o'clock, what'd you go with? - Obviously, I'm gonna start with different strokes, and I'm gonna go to the different stroke, silver spoon power hour. - Yeah, you have to do it. If you go with different strokes, you have to watch silver spoons. I think you'd be fine by the government, if you didn't watch the whole hour. - Well, it would be like voting for president, but voting for somebody else for vice president. You can't do that. - That's not possible to do, and just morally wrong. Also, this is an incredibly special different strokes. This is the episode where Nancy Reagan makes an appearance to talk about drugs. - Right, and if I recall, she gives him some very good advice. She says, "Just say no." - Yes, and he was the first person to ever hear that. - And to my knowledge, Gary Coleman, despite his, none of them seem to have been drug related as well, I can tell. - I think you will, I mean Conrad Bain, obviously, heroin hound, everyone knew about that, and his twin brother. But yeah, I think he was the only different strokes cast member that did not have a drug problem, although I think maybe his medical problems kept him from being able to enjoy drugs. - Oh, that's possible. - Yeah, which is a sad state of affairs at C80s. He's a big star, if you can't enjoy those drugs. So that's very enjoyable. Not quite as special, but grandfather Stratton, John Hausmann, offers Kate a job in California, then urges Edward to marry the daughter of a business associate, to expand the Stratton family fortunes. John Hausmann, always a good guest out. - If you're gonna have a guest star, it might as well be one of the great actors of the 20th century. - Absolutely, and I think that his work in the fog may have been hideously looked over for Inasca. - I wonder if he felt like he was slumming by showing up on Silver Spoons. - Well, I always thought he meant it felt like he was slumming when he was on the Paper Chase TV series. - Right. - After being in the movie. - Well, he probably felt like, you know what, I can stay put, it's a paycheck. I know the character, I'm not a young man, but I don't know the location, let me just hang out. - Maybe there were immigration implications for him not working. - That's possible too. - And deported back to England. I always say that I don't, I couldn't really enjoy aspirational shows that much. For some reason shows about rich people really bothered me growing up. - Well, the thing that I liked about Silver Spoons in particular was that they had an arcade in their home. - Yes, and a train that went through the house. - Yeah, I did like the idea of the train, but I really liked the idea of having video games that you could actually play in your home. - Yes, you don't have to go out and deal with any other people, you could just have arcade games in your home and a remote control door. So you don't even have to answer it if you're in the middle of an Asteroids game. - And he was a nice kid. He didn't play the witchy witch thing too much. - No, but I think he found out he was rich later. Maybe that was better. Maybe that's what made him a better person. - Maybe. - I also really enjoyed on Silver Spoons where they would have an attempt to feel better about being rich. There's a Christmas episode with Joey Lawrence in it where Joey Lawrence sneaks into their house and steals their Christmas presents as happens on most Christmas TV episodes. And then Ricky follows him to where he's living and he's living in a cave on the Stratton's property with his family who have been recently laid off. - Right. - Which happens in America? - Yeah, well, I know I'm just trying to think of the network of caves on my property and we've definitely found some bears in there and we found some fox. We did find one family, but there was a prehistoric family. - Yes, and they were probably employed. - They were employed as being prehistoric. - Yes, that is a good line of business that more people should go into. My also second favorite thing about that is instead of saying, hey, why don't you work at my father's toy company or here's some of our enormous money, he sneaks into their cave when they're out foraging for food, decorates it for Christmas. It's a tree out, no presents, but a tree in lights and it's very nice. It's a nice gesture on his part. - Very nice gesture. - Yes, I think it is. So you grew up in New Jersey? - I did. - You have siblings? - Yeah, older brother younger sister. - So did you have to do a lot of negotiating or on what you guys would want? - No, I feel like we were contemporaneous enough that we tend to, as I was going through the TV God, I realized their chest wasn't much on. - No, absolutely, you only have three networks and then maybe some UHF stuff. - So the choice is actually pretty obvious most of the time what you're gonna watch. - Right, and your family wasn't like, no, we're not watching this. In fact, let's just shut it off. There's nothing good on we're just gonna sit here and silence or go play. - No, no, if it's prime time you're watching television. - Yeah, you have to. What else are you gonna talk to people about the next day at school? There's no other options. Did your parents limit how much TV you could watch or-- - Probably, although I don't remember. I don't remember specific limits, but there was, yes, I'm sure there were some limits on it. - Wow. - I mean, it was probably more limited by bedtime than anything else. - Right, right, right, they weren't like, you can't watch "Love Boat", it's too sexy. - No, right, no. - So nine o'clock, what are you going with? - "Love Boat", speaking of "Love Boat". Saturday is a pretty obvious night. I mean, all my choices are pretty obvious. - Well, this episode also, I mean, you couldn't go around with this "Love Boat". It has guest starring rules by Charo, which is always the best "Love Boat". - If you're gonna watch "Love Boat", you want Charo to be on. - Yeah, in fact, if you're watching "Love Boat" and Charo isn't on, I think you can write a letter and they'll send you a check as a partial refund. - Now, "Love Boat" was one of those shows, and there's gonna be many of these shows that I would watch, even though I didn't like. - Yeah, there was a ton of that. And especially if you were watching a show on a network already and there was a show sandwiched between two shows you liked, you would sit there and watch it, which seems completely ridiculous, no. - Well, there was no way to change the network. - Right, or to get up and do something else. - That wasn't an option. - No, absolutely not. - It was impossible to, I mean, it took you, it took you anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour just to change the channel. - Yeah, yeah. - 'Cause you had to use the levers, the pulleys, the whole thing. So it was a huge amount of effort. - Especially depending on the state you were in, you may have needed to get a channel change license, which takes two to three days to process, and is really not worth the paperwork. - Not for just the one hour of "Love Boat" that you're not that into. - You're not gonna pre-plan that flaw. - I did go for it, I did like Isaac, and I did think Julie was cute, but it wasn't enough. - No, no, it didn't have the, there were no real crush worthy actresses on that show for a child, I don't think. And in this one, a judge is summoned to help April Lopez, played by Charo, who's leaving the US for fear of taking the citizenship test, and a new steward locks horns with the abusive son that he has played by Michael J. Fox. I can't believe him abusing anyone, it seems. - Well, we know him so well as the level of Michael J. Fox, but he wasn't well-known yet. He could have been anything, he was a cipher. - That's true, by this point he had only done two movies, he had done "Midnight Madness", maybe the best movie ever shot in LA, the first PG movie Disney ever put out, David Naughton's finest role, where he's playing a 12-year-old, whose birthday has forgotten, and Eddie Diesen stars in that movie. He was the top build star. And also in a class of 1984, where he is murdered by a punk rocker, played by one of the Van Patten's. - Seems right. - Yeah, if you're gonna murder Michael J. Fox, hire a Van Patten, dress him up as a punk rocker, it just makes sense. So over on Sunday night, the Lord's night, what have you gone with at eight o'clock? - Again, I mean, there's just no choice. I mean, it's gonna be "Night Rider". - Yeah, I mean, "Night Rider", it was, maybe the, I would argue the biggest show of the first five years in the '80s. - It was huge. I remember seeing the pilot for "Night Rider", and how excited I was. I was actually at a friend's house, and he knew about it too. I think it was a two-hour pilot premiere. - Yeah, the tour of the premiere. - It was very exciting. This kind of technology really blew my mind as an adolescent. - They sell a GPS that William Daniels voiced, and as it goes, it has the little kit thing going. - Smart. - And I imagine that there are people who had no need for a GPS, who purchased that just in the hopes. - Well, as I was going through my adolescence, there were people who bought those cars and installed sort of aftermarket kits that would have-- - Really, no pun intended. - Well, right, that would have the light going back and forth. - This was in New Jersey. - This was in New Jersey. - This does not surprise me. I wonder if many of those people weren't even aware of Knight Rider. - That's possible. - This makes sense. I have this car, it just looks real. Yeah, Knight Rider was great. I mean, I always, sadly, we never saw the Knight Rider Baywatch crossover that the world needed. I think there's still time. - Yeah, as long as Hasselhoff is alive, there's time. - There's still time. I did admittedly watch the Knight Rider reboot that they did a lot ago. - I did not. - It was as, no, you know what, it wasn't as bad as you thought it was. It was a lot worse. It could not have been worse. - I think that sort of the novelty of a car that talks or like a super car. - Technology is kind of passed by that idea as a novelty. - Yeah, I agree. There were kids in my school growing up that there was a rumor, and kids would get in a very heated debates about this, whether the van from the A-Team and Kit were somehow related. - Uh-huh, do you mean genetically related? - Genetically, 'cause they had the same color scheme. So there were kids who would be like, no, the same guy made 'em. They were like car brothers, and kids would get, it would come to blows about this, which I don't think would happen today. - I would say they're not related, although they do share a color scheme, because then the A-Team van had no special powers. - No, it has no AI, if you will, which I think was the industry term for Kit. Yeah, it was just a van. I think if you thought all cars that were similar color schemes were somehow related, which also implies that you think that cars procreate in a humanistic way, which is a whole other problem. - Uh, yes, but that's a conversation I'd like to have with you, off air. - Yes, that's fine. That's fine, I don't want to ruin that for you. I might rather, no question here. And this one, Michael infiltrates a ring of gun runners, selling advanced design rifles in Central America. - Makes sense, I mean, if you have an advanced car, you gotta combat that, or you've got advanced rifle. - Advanced car, yeah, I 100% agree, and this could be ripped from the headlines to this very day, and it really could be. So nine o'clock we going with. Nine o'clock, you know, this is again, one of those shows that I watch, even though I don't particularly like, The Jeffersons. Now, I think when I had to watch The Jeffersons today, I might enjoy it more. - I would watch it, and this time it was sort of, in its last legs too. - Uh huh. - There were these 70s holdover shows that it seemed almost sad to watch in the 80s. - Right, but there's no good options. - No, there really is. - At nine o'clock, I mean, Sunday night, it's not, this is pre-HBO, this is pre-Soprano, Sunday night was not a great night for television. - There's not even Simpsons here, you really. And oddly enough, in this particular issue that we have here, whoever owned this TV guide previously, has made a different choice than you and Sunday night. - Oh, what are they gonna look like? - They've circled and put X's around something called Bula Land. - Yeah, Bula Land, I believe, is a mini-series that seems to be running the whole week. Now, Bula Land has screwed up my entire schedule, because it's preempted whatever choices I might have. - So this is a three-part saga of southern plantation life from 1827 to post-Civil World Reconstruction based on Lonnie Coleman's novels, and it stars Lesley Ann Warren, Don Johnson, and Paul Rudd. - Paul Rudd. - It says Paul Rudd, as Leon Kendrick. I don't know if it's the same Paul Rudd. - Hold on a second. Is there more than one Paul Rudd? - I don't know, I'm gonna ask him. - Are you asking him right now? We're asking Paul Rudd if he was in Bula Land in 1983. That works too, 'cause the world needs to know also Meredith Baxter Burnie, isn't it? - I mean, with that cast, that's a better kind of scientific. - Had I read that, had I read the description, I might have gone with Bula Land, but then I would have been committed to Bula Land. - That's true, for the whole week. - Right. - I mean, how could it be the same Paul-- - I can't imagine, in '83, I mean, was he a kid actor? The first thing I remember seeing him in was in Halloween 6, and that was in 1990. - I feel like I would have known that he was in Bula Land. I mean, I assume you'd tell everybody that when you first met them. - You'd think, right? - I'm Paul Rudd, I was in Bula Land. - Hi, Paul, it's Mike Lee in Black. I'm recording a podcast, and the idea of the podcast is you go through old TV guides and pick what you would like to watch on that particular week. We've come across a mini-series called Bula, starring Les Lee in Warren, Don Johnson, and Paul Rudd, as what? - Leon Kendrick. - As Leon Kendrick, this is from 1983. Neither of us think that that's you. If you get this message, please give me a call back and let me know. - Perfect. If that's him, I'll be-- - I'll be sure. - I'll be amazed, but he'll have to autograph this. So yeah, I don't think I would have gone with Bula Land, but I would have gone with the Jefferson's as well. And it would have put me in a better position for 9.30 to watch my pick, I don't know what you would have gone with. - Well, again, I'm sort of stuck here with Good Night Beantown. - I liked Good Night Beantown. - I don't know, I don't remember Good Night Beantown, I don't know anything about it. - It was Bill Bixby, it was a half hour comedy, but it had no laugh track, it was shot on film, and he played a newscaster, and he was married to his co-anchor, and they had a lot of problems. - Oh, so it's like Anchorman? - Exactly, it's exactly like Anchorman, in all ways. It took place in Boston, obviously I'm very biased, I would watch anything that took place in Boston. Big fan of James at 15 at this time. The only episode I really remember is where on a Christmas episode again, the station was taken hostage, and they were forced to go in there and talk about Libya. - Oh, well that's Studio 60, the same thing. - There was Good Night Beantown? - I think no one would've noticed, they should be sued, class action suit, here it comes. Also, his daughter was played by one of the daughters from Benson. - How could you forget the name of one of the daughters from-- - Missy Gold. - All right, Missy Gold. - Who is now a psychiatrist in Maine, and I wish I didn't know that. Monday night, eight o'clock, what are you going on? - Well for me, it has to be that's incredible, which was one of my favorite shows ever. - I love that's incredible. That and real people, there were sort of the rivals. You're either a real people person, or that's incredible. - I was definitely a that's incredible person. Real people I found more annoying than anything else, even though I would watch it every week. - Yeah, and just be annoyed by it, like just to enrage yourself. - That's incredible feature Yogi's contorting themselves into loose-eyed boxes. - Yes, that's the one everyone remembers. It was like a seven foot tall black man in a one foot square box. - So, once you have that, I'm committed. - And I believe that's incredible, hosted by John Davidson. - John Davidson, Fran Tarkington, and Kathy Lee Crosby. - This one has a guest hosting spot by Ann Margaret. So there's no way I wouldn't have watched that. - See, that makes me much less interested. - Really, not at that age, not at this age. - Yeah, not if you don't like Viva Las Vegas? - No, I had seen neither of those films at that point. - That's probably a good thing. So in this one, new segments include the king of the wood choppers pitted against a wood-spilling machine and a horse that water skis. - Perfect. - I feel like they couldn't have an episode of "That's Incredible" without various animals on water skis. - Great, I mean, that's probably everything that's in the episode, but the episode lasts an hour long. - No, there's one more thing, two basketball playing rats. - Great. - That sounds like a Disney movie pitch that would be a huge hit. - I mean, I'm already satisfied just by "That's Incredible." I don't need to watch anything else. - No, and what an aptly named show. - I feel like they must have had meetings for weeks, be like, I would call it amazing things. - I don't know. I think it's a kind of a coin flip. Either it came immediately, that that's incredible, or what you said is right, weeks or months. - Just fighting people. I want it to be goddamn amazing. - It's possible that the name "That's Incredible" was the first thing that they had, and then they had to build the show. - So the first thing that it was obviously hired John Davidson. - Yeah. - They're like, we got John Davidson, it'll just fall into place. - Well, the word "incredible" is in it. - That's true. - John Davidson is pretty much synonymous with that word. - If people had made web videos in 1983, first of all, I'd be very impressed. Also, kind of a waste of time since it wouldn't be posted for a couple of decades, but if someone did a mashup video of "That's Incredible Hulk," that was "That's Incredible" hosted by the Hulk, and it would start it as Bill Bixby, but then he'd get angry based on the segments. - It's certainly not too late to make that. - That would be fantastic. I think that would be the greatest television show the world has ever known. So that's an hour-long show, so you're in for the whole hour, so you're missing "Square Pegs," a show that I absolutely love. - I wasn't hip enough for "Square Pegs." - Okay. - I sampled it. - But it just seemed too old for you? - I think at that time, my tastes were probably a little too mainstream. - Gotcha. - To fully embrace "Square Pegs," and it certainly wasn't gonna usurp. That's incredible. - Well, especially once you're in for the half hour, you've got the teasers-- - Well, they're teasing the horse on the water skis. - Yeah, they're not gonna show that in the first 30. That's the last five minutes to keep everyone invested. Was "Square Pegs" sort of a cult show even then? - I think so. I mean, it didn't last long. It was only on a season, right? - Yeah, it was only one season, and it was a great show. It was sort of a precursor to "Freaks and Geeks." Weirdly had a laugh track. It was really good. Bill Murray was on it, which was very odd to see him in his sitcom, and of course, Er just Parker's first role. I probably would've gone with that. I sadly wouldn't have watched the second half hour of "That's Incredible." I know, I know, it would've been a bad choice, I think, in the long run. - Yeah, I know it would've been. - Yeah, there's no doubt in my mind it would've been. So nine o'clock would you go with? Again, Slim Pickens here. - I know, and I'm stuck going with "Mash" in Newhart. Now, I liked "Mash," but it was one of those shows that was a little too old for me. - Yeah, it just bummed me out. It was often a bummer. Klinger stressed me out. - Yes. - By '83, I feel like Radar was gone. - Yes, he was. - And Radar was like my favorite character, 'cause he was child-like. - Yeah, I think everyone liked Radar. He was usually the comic relief. As much as I like Alan Alda, he was at his most annoying on that. - He could be a little bit grating. - Yeah. - Well, the show that needs a comic relief that is a comedy has problems. - That is true, but then if you're inherently setting a show in a war zone, it can't be that comedic. - Right. - It really, it was something about, I was just like, is it, I couldn't get if it was a comedy or a war show. I think as a child-like. - Well, it was a dramedy. - Yeah, I don't think I could reconcile dramedy to that age. - Right. - I was like, what have you done here? But I probably would've watched it just so I could go with "Newhart" at 9.30, which is one of my favorites. - I love "Newhart." - I have the controversial opinion that "Newhart" was better than the "Bob Newhart" show. - No, see, I've never seen the "Bob Newhart" show. - It's funny, but "Newhart" is so much better. It's so much of a weirder show. They kind of got that you just have a town of loonies followed by "Newhart." - Right. - And easily one of the most underrated shows, the '80s. - Is it underrated? - I think so. Well, everyone cites the "Bob Newhart" show, but "Newhart" doesn't seem to have as much love for it. It's not on and reruns as much, I don't think. I mean, it's not as disliked as his '90s series of shows, which was three or four different shows, none of which hit very well. They all made the mistake of giving him children. - Oh, yeah. - He's one of those people that if he has children in a show, people are like, "I am not watching this." - Right. - "Not watching it." - They might've been trying to make him into the white Cosby. - That's true, that's true. - You don't want that. - No. - You want "Newhart" to be "Newhart." - Yeah, you want Cosby to black "Newhart." I mean, that would work. That would work, but you don't want "Newhart" to be the winner. - Right, I'd love the Cosby sitcom where he's a psychiatrist. - Yes. - Not necessarily an in owner. I don't know that I want Cosby as my in owner, but I think I do like him as my psychiatrist. - What if it's an inpatient psychiatric facility that sort of looks like a bed and breakfast? - I could be down with that. - Yeah, I think we should pitch that. - Do we keep Larry Darryl and Darryl? - Absolutely, they're the order, at least. They administer the medication for everybody. It always weirded me out with Larry Darryl and Darryl because I knew of Larry from Blade Runner. - Right. - And it was like, I don't understand what's happened here. I like to think he's the same character. Like he found some sort of-- - He's a replicant? - Yes, they replicated him. Yes. Which would be a great, great prequel. If New Heart was a prequel, the Blade Runner. - That's the one. - Genius. - Would be blown. So yeah, definitely we're going with it. This is an early season of New Heart where it was still shot on videotape, which was very weird, and Kirk was in the show. - I don't remember Kirk. - Kirk was in the first two seasons. - He was handsome and had a sweater, and he was like-- - Sort of. He was the preversion of Peter Scilard, but he was very unlikable. - He wrote his character as a pathological liar and just kind of a dick, and it was very funny, but I think it was-- - Couldn't last. - Yeah, people weren't ready for unlikable characters, which is why Daphne Coleman didn't have a TV series for many years. - Right. - I'm like, now in most TV series, main character is very unlikable. - I'm not interested in liking anybody on television. - Do you want to just actively hate them? - I want to feel all kinds of conflict. I want to hate myself for investing in them. - For investing in it, do you like, you've wasted my time? - No, just, what does it say about me that I'm rooting for Brian Cranston in Breaking Bad? What does it say about me that I like Tony Soprano? I like those kinds of-- - Do you like the question your own moral compass and television? - I'd like to look at television as reflective of my own failings as a human being. - Okay, I think that that's probably what television does when it's at its best, rather than just stuff in the background while I vacuum. It's probably, those are the two ends of the spectrum, I think. So when you take roles on television, do you try to take unlikable characters to sort of put it forward with that? - No, it's just that people tend not to like me anyway. - Do you think that's the case? So they cast you like that? - Yeah, I like to think of myself as this generation's Dabney Coleman. Can't keep a show on the air, kind of unlikable. - That is a really good thing to go for. And if you can pull that off without a mustache, you're a fine actor. The best Dabney Coleman stands mustache, Michael M. Black. What was the first show that you did that you remember people recognizing you from? - Oh, The State. - Yeah, I imagine it was probably The State. And did that shock you? That it just sort of happened? - No, 'cause I was on TV. - Yeah, so you kind of expected it. - I expected it at some point it would happen being on television. I don't even really remember when it started. - Was there anyone you worked with on a show that you used to watch growing up that kind of made you uncomfortable? Like you couldn't believe that you were standing next to them or had to talk to them on camera? - No. - That's pretty good. And that you haven't met them yet or you just are very not bothered by it? - I'm just, yeah, I don't, I tend not to work with older people very much. - And you're caught specifically? - Yes, it's in my contract that there's an age limit. It's like Minuto. - Yeah, they age out. - Right. - I can't work with men older than me. - Right. - Or women older than 19. - And once someone on a show that you're on goes through puberty, they have to leave the set. - Of course. - Yeah, absolutely. - Minuto had a weird cartoon in the early 80s. Do you remember that? - Who did? - Minuto. - I do remember that. - I do remember that. - Very strange. - Very strange. - Well, it makes sense. I mean, they were a boy band and I could, I could see one direction having a cartoon now. - That's true. Although, did you ever see the amazing Rubik's Cube cartoon? - That I don't recall. - There was a cartoon of Rubik's Cube. Doesn't make any sense. But due to the fact that Minuto was so popular, the main characters were Hispanic brothers that found a magical Rubik's Cube from space that helped them solve mysteries. - Well, when you explained it, it makes sense. - It really does. I think if that's incredible, had done a live action segment on a similar situation, no one would have questioned it. - I'd love to see a Rubik's Cube water scheme. - Someday it'll happen. Someday it'll happen. And solving itself at the same time. That's a Rubik's Cube insult, if you tell it to go solve itself. The finest thing Russia ever gave us. So Tuesday, right? - Hungry. - Hungry? - Hungry, it was a Hungarian professor. Russia took full credit for that. - I know, I mean. - Now I gotta Google it. - You know who took credit for the Rubik's Cube? Paul Rudd. For years, he tells everybody. In my down time on Bula, I invented Rubik's Cube and Rubik's magic puzzle. I thought it was Russian, but I may be wrong. I may be confusing Rubik's Cube with Tetris. - Uh-huh, well, just Googling who invented Rubik's Cube. - No problem. And it just says something. - Hungarian sculptor, in 1974. - Fair enough. - And in Erno Rubik. - Erno Rubik. - Hungarian, you are correct. - I stand corrected. - I love the A's. - It's true. Did they make you do that research before you did that show? They were like Pop Quiz. Rubik's Cube, you invented it. Tuesday night, eight o'clock. - I mean, again, my nine o'clock is a little bit of a wild card, but my eight o'clock is obvious, 18. - Yeah, there's no way you could have lived in America in 1983 and not watch the 18. - Yeah. - I think it just would have been wrong. - There's no think about it. That's a statement of fact. It would have been wrong. - It's true. If more than five people didn't watch the 18 on a Tuesday night, we would have seen a real-life red dawn. - Oh yeah. - I think that's what would have happened. - What a question. - They would have just snuck in if we weren't doing that. And who was your favorite member of the 18? - B.A. Barakas, I guess. I mean, I kind of liked Mad Dog. - Yeah. - In order B.A. Mad Dog Hannibal face. - So face was your absolute bottom of the barrel? - Yeah, but I mean, I liked them all. - Did you watch him on Battlestar Galactica? - Sure. - I prefer him on Battlestar Galactica. - So that might be why he was your least favorite on 18. - I don't know. I don't like the idea of the kind of suave con man. - Gotcha. Gotcha. - He's unlikable. - He is unlikable. And I do like that. - Yeah. - So now you can fix it. - I don't mean my preferred face, but child me just wanted, you know, wanted the action. The action, the paternalistic embrace of a Mr. T. - Yes, yes, I was threatened by Mr. T as a child. I've told this story before, but you may enjoy it. I had a cable access show, and I was 11 about comic books 'cause I was... - 'Cause you've been this guy forever? - Yeah, pretty much. And I really wanted to ensure that I just couldn't get a date for any prom that I ever tried to go to. And at the time, Mr. T was very down on his luck. He had a comic book out. He wanted to be on my show. He called me personally and asked to be on the show. I said, yes, he then demanded a $50 appearance fee, which I did not have as I was 11 years old. And then he lost his shit on me and said, I didn't know about show business, and I was a goddamn dumb kid. And I had to hang up on Mr. T. I had to hang up on him. And he later called and left an apology message, still requesting $50 appearance fee. But I had that message for years. - Of course. - And on stage it was-- - The saddest part is that it's $50. - It's only $50. - Didn't you have asked your parents? - Maybe, it didn't even occur to me. My mother got the phone call and she was like, Mr. T is on the phone. So I was immediately like, I don't even know what this is about. And then I thought I was gonna get in trouble for hanging up on him, like my parents were like, you hung up on Mr. T? What the-- - The FBI was gonna come. - Yeah, it's an American treasure. - Yeah, I mean, if you hung up on Mr. T, just get out. You can move to Hungary and see if you can invent something so that you can get out of there. Yeah, this is a great one. This is Hannibal's plan, shocked that he had a plan. It's nice that they pointed that out. To free a Skyjact 747 requires a bit of adjustment when BA becomes-- - Oh yeah. - Catapleptic? - Catatonic, I'm guessing is what they were going for. - It says catalyptic. - How are they smelling it? - Catalyptic is not a word I've ever seen in my life. - Catalyptic, yeah. - Is that a word? - It means catatonic and epileptic at the same time. - Okay, so you go quiet but having tiny seizures no one can tell? - Yes. - I think that should be put in more everyday use. And Murdoch is temporarily blinded. - Wow, this is high stakes in this episode. - Okay, so right, Murdoch can't fly the plane. - Correct. - Because he's blinded. - Temporarily. - I'm guessing he enlists BA's help to get him out of his catalyptic state. - To be his eyes. - Right. That is some heavy stuff that's teamwork. - I mean, I know there's obviously gonna be trouble when you combine airplanes in BA Barakas. - Absolutely, and he's not knocked out? - You would think at a certain point, BA would know, you know what, this just isn't a life for me. - Yeah, I think you would go into a different line of work. I mean, he's Mr. T, he could do so many things. I mean, he obviously knows about jewelry. - Right. - And one of the jewelry business. Go into a cash for gold business. You gotta know what it's worth. There's a lot of money in that if right-wing radio ads are any indication. - And yeah, he certainly could have self-funded any jewelry store. - Absolutely, just with one chain. - Yeah, I mean, if I'm BA Barakas, I'd probably go into a different line of work. - I think that's probably the best line of fantasy fiction anyone could ever read. - BA Barakas's other jobs. I read his book, he wrote two books, one in Mr. T and one as BA Barakas in character. - I'm guessing he didn't write either book. - Leonard Nimoy did that. He wrote an autobiography and then a Mr. Spock autobiography. - Interesting. - One called I Am Spock, not called I Am Not Spock. - Oh, I didn't realize that the I Am Spock was a Spock autobiography. - I thought it was Leonard Nimoy coming to terms with the fact that he was-- - That he's not Spock. My favorite Leonard Nimoy, he's from Boston, Leonard Nimoy and a friend of mine would go and find out what hotels the Star Trek people were staying on at Star Trek conventions. And so they sort of ambushed Nimoy and William Shatner and William Shatner said to him, I quote, get away from me, you fat faggot to this kid, which didn't surprise me. But then later that day, he ran into Leonard Nimoy and Leonard Nimoy said to him, oh, you're the unfortunate young man that Bill called a fat faggot earlier, which was such a great way to insult him also, but not take any of the blame for it. - That's great. - Really made me enjoy his work on in search of. So nine o'clock, what are you going with? - I went with Nova. - A lot more people that I know watch Nova than I ever, ever thought. And in this one, it is called Lassa fever, dramatizing the three year hunt to identify the source of a virus in Nigeria that claimed many lives. - Great. - Sounds like a pretty good time. - From 18 to that? - Yeah. - You know, that's comedy tragedy, I love that. - Absolutely, so you're getting both sides of the Greekness that night. That's what I like to call comedy tragedy, the Greekness. - Yeah. - Did you watch stuff like that as a kid? - No, but there's really nothing else on tonight. - 'Cause that would have terrified me. Like stuff like in search of, or even like Ripley's Believe It or Not. - Ripley's Believe It or Not scared me a little, yeah. - Arthur C. Clark's mysterious world. - Right. - Anything about diseases, the only show my parents wouldn't let me watch was 2020, because that became terrified of anything they showed on 2020. - Oh, sure, barber Walters. - Bells, barber Walters, old ladies, people named Hugh. Anything like that was very, very scary. So that's what we're going with. I don't know if I would've gone with Nova. I sadly probably would've gone with Three's Company, a show I watched but did not like. - Yeah, that's my problem. I couldn't bring myself today to watch Three's Company, even hypothetically. - It is horrifically bad. It is so sleazy too. Like it was one of those shows that if I watched it as a kid, I would've felt like I would've gotten trouble for watching. Like if my parents find out about this, I am in big trouble. - I just found it frustrating all of the time, because it was always just a misunderstanding. - Yeah. - Just somebody's overhearing somebody else, and rather than just communicate the way roommates should, they always jump to the worst possible conclusion. - Absolutely. - Again, fool me once, shame on you. - Fool me twice, Three's a Crowd. - Yeah, somehow gets a spin-out series. - It was a very frustrating show for me. - Yeah, I agree with that. I can't say I've liked anything I've ever seen Suzanne Summers in. - Not even the thymaster infomercials? - She could've been cast better, I think. There were probably people who had more of a mastery of thighs, I would say, than she did. She's the sheriff, got close. But everything else just no good. - Right. - So she's a survivor. - She really is. I used to have to go to the post office for this job that I had at a local TV station and pick up the mail everyday 'cause they wouldn't deliver it. And I would walk in on weird conversations amongst the postal workers. And one day this guy was making the universal big breasts hand signal. And the part of the conversation I walked in on was Suzanne Summers with the hand-breast signal. And then the other guy goes, "No, no, her legs, her legs!" And then the other guy goes, "No!" She's got breast cancer. He was using the big breast hand gesture to indicate breast cancer, which I don't think is something you're allowed to do. - I'm gonna have to Google the law on that. - Yes, we should Google that. Maybe different state by state. So we would have gone with that. And at 9.30, speaking of Demi Coleman, probably would have gone with 9 to 5, the TV series based on the movie, which did not star Demi Coleman. - Right. - But did have Rita Moreno in it? - I'm okay with the "Loss of Fever" episode of "No of Fever." I suspect more laughs for me. - I agree. - Then the back-to-back three's company, 9 to 5 television spin-off. - And probably less nausea. (laughing) I'm not sure as well. So let's move on to Wednesday night, 8 o'clock. What are you going with? - Fall guy. - So normally I would agree with you. Love the fall guy, Lee Majors, probably a better shove than $6 million man, mostly for Heather Thomas' contributions. But on this night, there's a very special special on, and this is the Saturday morning's preview special. - Oh. - With James Best and Sorel Brooks, who joined host Scott Beyo. - Oh, had I seen that? Had I not gone through the TV guide so quickly? I'm changing mine. - You can change, and this is-- - I'm absolutely watching that. - In the show they choose to feature specifically was a live action show called Benji, Xax, and the Alien Prince. - Great. - Which sounds like a joke set up, but was a pretty fun, weird show. I remember these primetime Saturday morning previews being the highlight of my year. - Oh yeah. The idea of marrying Saturday morning cartoons with primetime, it doesn't get any more exciting than that. - No, because you were like, I'm getting away with something. This is also sort of validating these shows by putting it in a slot of a real show. - Well, it's like being ushered into a fantasy world where kids rule the world. - Absolutely. - Absolutely. - The pre-Nicolodian, where that became a reality. And Scott Beyo singing a song with Sid and Marty Croft puppets. - Oh, God. - And his failed attempt at a musical career. - That sounds fantastic. - It really is. You passed up real people, as we mentioned earlier, this is the sixth season opener, which features a guy named Mr. Softball, doesn't say who he does, and a man who tosses pancakes to his customers, like Frisbees. Clearly, clearly that's an incredible one out this week. - Yeah, I mean, that seems real to me. Seems like a real guy. - Just not that interesting. - Oh. - Doesn't say interesting. Doesn't say real interesting to people, just real. - And of all the things people want to watch on TV, I think real people is the last thing they want to see. - Well, I mean, that's another conversation from their television. - That's true. - You know, there's something to be said for very realistic portrayals, as we get to in some of my choices later. - So Fall Guy Tonight is Cleveland Little, is in this episode. He plays a hip, glib, and very scared bail jumper, who witnessed a murder by a secret paramilitary organization. - Yep. - I mean, that happens all the time. There's probably four or five people I know that have been in that exact situation. - The reason I was late today. - You witnessed a paramilitary organization? - I don't know. I don't know if they saw me. I think I lost them if they did. - That's fair enough, yeah. - So 8.30, you're not going with anything, 'cause you're watching Hour of the Fall Guy. Bugs Bunny premieres that night to go with the Saturday morning previews. - Right. - So we're going with that. 9 o'clock, what are you going with? - 9 o'clock, this one grabbed my attention. Facing rape, fighting back. - Yes. My favorite thing about this description is it says topics, rape, period. (laughing) That's it. Like, anyone was like, what is, no, what are they discussing on facing rape tonight? What are the topics on the agenda? This is guests include, Portsmouth Deputy Marshal Raymond LeBrie, who demonstrates techniques for self-defense, viewers may phone in questions. - Oh, so it's a live program. - There's a live 90 minute program. - Great. - Can you imagine the teenage prank phone calls that happened during facing rape, fighting back? - This is, I think this is, this is my CTV. - Yeah. - Not only if you're facing rape, I mean, facing any criminal endangerment, you want to know how to fight back? - Yeah, it's self-defense for all manner of things. - I mean, I know it says topics rape, but it could be topics mugging, it could be topics skyjacking, as we talked about earlier. - That's true. - Yes, absolutely. And I like that it also says topics, plural rape. So they might be talking about several different kinds, apparently. - Well, that's called the gang rape. - Yes. - I switched, though. - You're not going for the full 90 minutes? - I don't stay for the 90 minutes. I go over to family times. - I was, which makes a great double feature, by the way, but I'm intrigued by a made for TV movie that's on at the same time, starring Alex Carris, former NFL player, and at this time, Webster said. And this is a made for TV movie called Made in America, where Alex Carris wants a job as a maid, but first he tries to skirt the opposition of a wealthy liberal lawyer who thinks her new lady maids should be a lady. - Wow. I mean, that's really turning gender politics on its head. - It really is. - And Susan Clark, Alex Carris' real life wife, plays the woman who doesn't want him to be her maid. - I wonder if this was Alex Carris' production company that put this project together. - It was. So this is a little creepy, where a wife and husband are in a TV movie, where the husband's dressing up like a maid and we all have to watch it. That seems like something they should have just kept behind closed doors. I don't think we need to see that. - I don't know. I'm more curious to see that than anything else we've discussed so far. I would also like if they had a show that taught us how to defend ourselves against this movie. (laughing) Let me get out and turn the TV off. So "Family Ties" that night, just from the first season, a competitive Alex has trouble coming up with a qualified partner for a high school quiz off. So he tackles the Herculean task of training Mallory. - Oh, good luck with that. - Yeah, she's just dumb. She's a woman. She can't be smart. She likes shoes. I specifically remember this episode and it was in a weird sub-genre of television shows where at some point a television character is gonna go on a game show. It's just gonna happen. - Yeah, it's surprising that it happened in the first season. - Yeah, like they were running out of ideas that quickly. They need to go to the game show plot. Yeah, "Family Ties" was a show that I loved the whole time. It was always a good show. - Yeah, I always enjoyed it. - I cried during the "Billy Veron the Beatters" song. I can't, I'll admit it. I'm free to admit that. It was very touching. They did introduce a young kid towards the end, didn't they? - They did, they did. So that was Andy, who did the age jump. He was an infant, next season, he's six. He did not have a good life after that show. Became a punk rock meth addict. He's gone to jail several times. - All right. - Yeah. So Thursday night, eight o'clock, what are you going with? - It was a tough night. - It was a tough night for me. The title grabbed me on this one. Aging, everybody's doing it. - Yes, I should also mention that the everybody's doing it has an exclamation point. - Oh yes, it does have an exclamation point. So I thought, you know, young me, probably not going to watch that. - No. - Middle aged me, I might tune in. - With a notebook in hand to figure out, hey, how's this going to work? - I'm doing it. - So this is the rhythm of life. The final segment of the series on aging features a chorus made up of children and senior citizens. - Great. - That seems pretty exciting. That would be a great way to combat rape. If you just had a chorus of children and old people come out singing during it, that might stop it cold. - Oh, there's no question. - There's no way that could continue with that happening. So I am somewhat intrigued by that, but there was too much good stuff. I don't know what I would pick it. We have Magnum PI, too close for comfort. - I never liked Magnum PI, too close for comfort. It's one of those shows that just stressed me out. I didn't find it funny. - It's not funny at all, but for some reason, it's hypnotically awful. I can't bring myself to revisit these terrible shows. That's why I had to go with aging. - Everybody's doing it. Which is something that an aging person would do, not revisit these terrible shows. Jim J Bullock is a complete mystery to me. I don't understand how he was a thing. - I mean, he's not likable, he's not funny. - He's cute. - I guess he's cute, but it just, I mean, Ted Knight getting angry, somewhat enjoyable. - Sure, but every week, gets a little old. - Yeah, so Thursday night was kind of a, that was a little bit of a desert for me. - 'Cause he didn't like give me a break, which would have been my pick. - I didn't like give me a break. I liked it enough. Look, real life me watches too close for comfort and give me a break. - Right, but you now, me, and sometimes I have to remove myself from my inner child and say, you know what, inner child, sometimes you're wrong. - Yeah, and I think that's the true mark of maturity. - So I paired aging everybody's doing it with Mama's family, which-- - Maybe the worst to come of all time. - I never really gave a chance as a kid. I didn't enjoy it then. I'm thinking, maybe I'll enjoy it now. Maybe I'll enjoy it more than-- - Give me a break in terms of comfort. - It really is a difficult show for me to watch and it would just enrage me as a child. Like, I think I might've gotten TMJ from having seen Mama's family. In this episode, Mama's surprise party for Unis, Carol Burnett doing a special guest appearance. At the bigger jigger bar, which I think is racist, lands to an altercation that lands them both in jail. - You know, Carol Burnett and Vicky Lawrence and jail together, great. - I would watch them and jail together if they were actually in jail together, like a reality series with Carol Burnett and Vicky Lawrence, like a scared straight with them in jail. I'd watch that. - That'd be a great show. - That would be fantastic. But you passed up a documentary that I thought you would have paired with aging everybody's doing it, called The Whales That Wouldn't Die. - I thought about it. I definitely thought about it, but wouldn't I have had to have missed part of that? - It's a one hour documentary. - Yeah, I couldn't, yeah, I couldn't. - Yeah, you would have it to miss part of that. When I first read the title, I just assumed they had a whale and people trying to kill it for an hour, which would be a show that would be on now. - Oh yeah. - But this is the survival story of a gray whale who has come back twice from near extinction, is told in interviews with experts in whaling films and in footage of an angry cow defending her calf against a whaling boat. Seems a little less exciting than it seemed when they first listed it there. - I want to learn what I had to do with my arthritis. - I think that's fair enough, yeah. And then at nine o'clock, what are you going with? - Cheers. - There was no one that doesn't like cheers. It was such a good show. - Yeah, it's a great show. - They managed to survive cast members dying and being recast, major cast members leaving and the show getting just as good. I don't know how it happened. I don't think there's been a show as good in that format. - You're probably right. It's one of the high watermarks for the genre. So I'm never not going to watch cheers if it's on in prime time. - But inherently, a very sad concept of basically people with no friends or family outside of people at a bar. - Yeah. - Somehow making that work is incredibly impressive. I definitely would have gone with cheers. I would not have watched We Got It Made, which was a show I did generally watch when it was in syndication later. This was about two roommates played by Tom Vlogger and Matt McCoy, who had a hot maid who was not played by Alex Carris. - Was it Angelina? Was she the maid? - No, it was Terry Copley. - Terry Copley. - Yeah, Angelina, the same year, was in the show making a living. - Making a living, right? - Yes, which she was huge for like three years. - Yes. - Angelina from Cambridge, Massachusetts. And her Dorothy Stratton haircut were probably the most famous woman on earth for at least a month. - Also had breast cancer. - Also had breast cancer. And made a TV movie about it where she played herself. I've never seen male men talk about that. And I think that they're wrong to not do so. - And Jillian. - No, she got breast cancer. - She played herself. - She was herself. You have a see Mr. Mom? She's a hollit. And cheers tonight. Everybody is delighted by a visit from Sam's successful, intelligent, and charming brother, everyone that is but Sam. First of two parts. - Yeah, I can understand that. - I love Shelly Long. I think she's totally underrated. And she's one of those people that I don't understand how she didn't become a movie actress, like a famous movie actress. - No, she tried. - She did try. And for some reason it just didn't cl-- Well, night shift's very good. - Night shift is very good. - And the money pit? - Uh-huh. - True Beverly Hills. - Right, not so much. - It could take a little bit. - Big hit, though, I think. - It was a big hit. And I did like Hello again. - Uh-huh. - I will admit, I enjoyed-- - I don't think I've seen Hello again. Hello again, she chokes on a chicken ball, dies, and her witch sister brings her back to life, and it creates a media sensation. She falls in love with Gabriel Byrne, playing a sympathetic doctor. Corbin Burnson plays her dickhead husband, who moves on. - Gabriel Byrne, always great in romantic comedy. - He really is. He's probably him and Liam Neeson. Liam Neeson in Satisfaction to Justin Bateman. Probably the best romantic comedy-leading man where I will get all girl bands in Liam Neeson. So Friday night, the final night of the week, 8 o'clock week. - Again, this is a no brainer for me, and I think you know what it is. It's obviously gonna be Duke's of Hazard. - Yeah, I mean, again, I think that if you didn't watch Duke's of Hazard at this time, you would be fined in some way. Like, there's no way that society would let you not watch Duke's of Hazard. - Not American society? - No. - So was Duke's of Hazard? Were there kids, did you have arguments with kids at school about TV, or was this just me in my school? - I think it was more you than me. - That's fair enough. But would kids talk about like the previous evening's Duke's of Hazard, or-- - How do we call ever having a conversation with anybody about Duke's of Hazard? It went on, we watched it, it went off, and it was immediately erased from our memories. - Which is probably what a show like Duke's of Hazard is designed for, I imagine. In this particular episode of Duke's of Hazard, tired of her family's over-protectiveness, Daisy-- - Yeah, Catherine Box. - Yes, Catherine Box. Moving with a friend, and is promptly kidnapped for a shotgun wedding with one of the Baudry Clan. - Oh, no. - So if she had seen that show earlier, she would know how to defend herself against that. Once again, you've passed up the first annual NBC Yummy Awards, which was their Saturday morning preview, hosted by Rick Schroeder, who, this is gets a little creepy. I'm gonna scan this ad and put it on the tumbler, because it says, "The most lickable awards on television," and then has a rendering of an ice cream cone with instead of ice cream, Ricky Schroeder's head. Very, very weird. Seems a little bit creepy. It seems to be implying, "Hey, lick Ricky Schroeder." Like, if it was just Ricky Schroeder and it said, "Lick me?" - I'll tell you, NBC's cartoon lineup does not look very good. - Well, they have Mr. T. - They're featuring, well, this is on the show, but the shows that they're featuring looks like Paul, Winchell, and Jerry Mahoney. That's a ventriloquism. - What kid doesn't love that? - Fred Flintstone. - Yep. - Bozo the Clown. - Yeah. - The Smurfs and Gumby. - All old things. - Yes, awful. - NBC, clearly not getting the best stuff. Pinky Lee's on the show, who was barely alive at that point. This is Ricky Schroeder is the host and Dwight Schultz, the MC of an award show spoof focusing on NBC's Saturday morning lineup, which begins tomorrow. Music includes Everyone's a Winner by Lee Curie and My Buddy and I by Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble. - Jesus. - Yes, presenters include Bozo the Clown and current NBC actors. - You know what? I'm sticking with Toots of Hazard. - Yeah, I think you probably made the right choice now that I've read the description of Dukes of Hazard that evening. So those were both hour long shows. We're passing up Webster at 8.30. This is the debut of Webster, actually. So this was a big night. This was a big night. Nine o'clock, what is your choice? - I was just taken in by the title. Lottery! Exclamation mark. - Yes, this is the debut of the drama Lottery. And in this, in Los Angeles, Lottery winnings keep the American dream alive for a neighborhood grocer played by Robert Einstein and his family. Meanwhile, a friendly poker game becomes a high state contest when lottery tickets go into the pot and junior choir director rejoices when Flaherty arrives just before a service. - Robert Einstein, that's super Dave. - Bob Einstein, this is brilliant. Do you think that this is actually him? - Yeah, who else would it be? Albert Brooks' brother. - That's true. Maybe he was still going by Robert Einstein. - I would think. - We call him an ascomfusion lottery, the drama. So this show was a show where it was an anthology series. It was a rare anthology that wasn't a horror series. And people would go win the lottery and you would just follow what happened with them. - I would watch that show today. - That seems like a good idea for a show. I would watch that show today. Why not bring that back? - Well, except we know what happens. They go bankrupt and they have lawsuits and there's suicides. - Yes. - And at the end of it, they wish they had never won the lottery. - Absolutely, which is kind of why I would have watched this show. - I suspect that's not what happens in these episodes. - No, they should just call that all Faustian bargain in the series. But I'm intrigued by that show. It did seem pretty outstanding and better than anything else that was listed on at that time. - Although at 8.30, we did have Not Necessarily the News, which was a show that I very much enjoyed. - I wouldn't have interested me at all. - Conan O'Brien's first writing gig out of Harvard. So we're not necessarily the news, makes sense. - So that is the end of the week. And normally what I do at this point is I read the cheers and cheers for that week. But for some reason this week, TV Guide has decided to not cheer or cheer. It is not opinionated at all this week. So if you were to come up with your own cheering gear for television this week, what would they be? - Well, cheers obviously to Facing Rape fighting back for presenting good practical advice for men and women or women and men facing dangerous scenarios. I especially like that it was live. Callers could call in and get practical tips for combating this most frightening of situations. - I'm being raped right now. What should I do? How many times do you think some 17-year-old called in that 90 minutes with that kind of call? - Yep. - Great cheer. There's almost too many things to cheer. - Yeah. I mean, there's lots of cheer though. I'm gonna jeers to NBC Saturday morning lineup. This is the one night a year that kids look forward to. - Yes. - And you've got to give them something special. - Very disappointing. - We're not, you can't just throw the scraps at your younger demographic. These are the viewers of tomorrow. The viewers who, like me, grew up to not watch much television at all. Geers, NBC, you wrote your own future on the wall that time. - And if Ricky Schroeder came up to you now and-- - Rick Schroeder, you mean? - I call him Ricky. - Okay. - And was like, I'm sorry for enticing you to lick me and show him bad things. - Not his fault. That was not his fault. - No. - You would be like, "NVC, put you up to this." - Oh yeah, he was 10 or 11 years old. What was he gonna do? - That's true. I can only imagine the agent call for that. Just booked you on the yummy awards. It's gonna be great. We're gonna be putting her hand in TV guide. It's gonna say, "Lick me, I'm Rick Schroeder." It's gonna be huge. Scott Bales got nothing on you this week. - Yeah, great. - Well, Mike Lean Black, thank you so much for doing the show. - My pleasure. (upbeat music) - And there you have it. That was Michael Ian Black. I had a lot of fun doing that show. So thanks to him for taking the time to do the show. And thanks to you for listening. I also want to encourage you, if you like the show, please subscribe on iTunes so you don't miss any special edition episodes we might have coming up. Also, if you're so inclined, please rate the show, review the show, tell friends about it. It's all very helpful. If you listen on Stitcher or SoundCloud or just on the RSS feed or on iTunes or however you get the show, anything you can do to say you like the show, it's greatly appreciated. Also, I really love getting emails from you guys. If you have ideas for the show, suggestions for years, topics, guests, corrections, anything like that, please email me at can@iconread.com or go to our Facebook page for TV guidance counselor. I always read those and I love hearing from you. And I'll see you again next week on TV guidance counselor. (upbeat music) [MUSIC]