TV Guidance Counselor
TV Guidance Counselor Episode 11: Lillian Devane
[music] Hello and welcome to another episode of TV Gaiden's Counselor. My name, as always, is Ken Reed, and I am your TV Gaiden's Counselor. I appreciate you coming back to the show or checking it out for the first time. My guest this week is comedian Lillian Devane, who is very funny, Boston-based comedian. I do a lot of shows with her, she's always doing some interesting and strange things around town. There's a lot of shows with a great comedian, Rob Creen, and she's from Florida, which comes up in the episode and is stranger than I thought she was, but in the best way possible. So please enjoy this week's episode with Lillian Devane. Miss Lillian Devane, how are ya? I'm great, how are you? Good, thank you for doing the show. Oh, yeah, my pleasure. Welcome back to the home, you've been here before. Love it. It's not as a story. Oh, thank you. I think I've been called that before, and traffic, someone's been like, "You cut me off, Kitchhole." And I felt like I earned it. It's not meant as an insult. No, that's fine. Many things people yell at me and traffic I take as compliments. You should, you should. So you picked a TV guide from March 3rd through the 9th, 1990. Yes. What drew you to this particular TV guide? Well, first of all, on the cover, it's got P.B. Herman, who's very awkwardly photoshopped or pre-photoshopped. Right, collaged. It's a cultic-apodged on this. Yeah, he's just in front of all the adorably cartoonish Sesame Street characters. The weird thing about this cover is it's, and people can see this on the Tumblr, but it's sort of a, who's who of children's television people, it looks like what a child might make as a collage on the wall. Sure. But the weird thing is, it's, so you get Kevin Arnold from, from, from, from not growing pains. Wonder Years, the Sesame Street King, the Muppet Babies, Mr. Rogers, Babar, Chorus, P.E. Herman. And then, just the word Nova, because what child doesn't love Nova? Notes. Yeah, it's, of course, everyone, every kid's favorite show is Nova. Kids are like, "I love Muppet Babies" and those are the two shows. Close Second Nova. Yes. So this says, "A parent's guide to children's television," which is the color, and this is a pretty good guide in here. They kind of go through all the shows, tell you what the best for children two to five are, one of which is Shining Time Station, which I would not agree. No. So that's, the only time, though, that George Carlin replaced Ringo Starr. Right. I would like to see a reunion of the Beatles, well, pre-death, but George Carlin playing drums. I think that'd be pretty good. I think, you know, I think everyone in the band could play drums and Ringo is just the one they're like, "Oh, that's fine." Except for Ringo. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Keep him back there. Yeah, it's fine. Yeah. I actually, he might be playing drums for John Lennon and George Harrison in heaven. That's, I don't know. It's a lovely image. It's the best for kids six to 11. It does have Square One TV in Mr. Wizard's World. I don't know if you used to watch Mr. Wizard's World. Yeah. Don Herbert was a very, very odd man. And the show was all Canadian kids, which I never really figured out till later. Yeah. They have nothing else to do, I guess. It's just having old man make them make bottles explode. Put this in the bottle. Okay. Whoa. That's a beautiful boy. Yeah. He came to my school, Don Herbert. Really? Yeah. For some reason, we got a lot of, I don't want to say celebrities. Yeah. We got a lot of high profile people coming through our elementary school. We had Buzz Aldrin came with a real space suit. Wow. I got to put it on. God, I think we just got drug left chairs all the time. Well, we got that too. But man. Well, so you were up in Florida. Yeah. Isn't Cape Canaveral in Florida? Yeah. So you didn't have an astronaut come? No, not them. I mean, maybe. Yeah, I don't think so. I got to put in the space suit because I was tall. Damn it. Yeah. I was pretty excited. And then he's like, "Any questions about this?" And my question was, "Did you pee in this?" And he went, "Yes." Which, that's a legitimate question, like you're in space. Sure, sure, sure. How does it come and go? Yeah. It's a little bit grossed out. Wow. And I remember we had, when I was in the sixth grade, they teased this thing where it's supposed to have that was a laser light show. Mm-hmm. And all the other, like, it's this guy named Dr. Laser or something like that. Yeah. Sure. It's going to be an amazing laser light show. And it got canceled like three times. It got postponed. So by the end of the year, when we finally had it, everyone was like, "This thing is the greatest. This is huge." And it was literally a guy with basically a laser pointer and a mirror attached to a subwoofer. And he played music and he goes, "The vibrations from the music will make the laser appear to... Made aircoats and went, "Damn." No. Yes. That was fantastic. Oh, my God. Yes. That's great. We had the acapella group. We sang the TJ Max theme song, "Come in and Play for us." What is the TJ Max theme song? Oh, what? Yeah, this was in the late 80s, that was very exciting. So you had the highs and the low brows of these things. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. All right. Not a little too bad now. All right. We had some Canadian rap group come. That was very weird. Wow. I think they were... One thing I remember, this is all coming. We haven't even got into the week here. No. No. But we had Pepsi come in and they did a multi-cooperation, Pepsi docked at your school. I came to my school and they did a multi-media presentation with three projection screens that was just them playing Van Halen's right now. What? Like an hour. It was basically an hour-long commercial production. Just an ad. That's brilliant. You're like, we're having a multi-media presentation. Why don't more companies do that now? That's a great... I think there's laws against you. Sure, if that makes sense. You know, that's how Obama is American. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know. Pepsi can't go in and market to children anymore. Do you think it's a fucking lot? Do what was the best assembly or field trip you had going up? You know, that's a good question. I think... I feel like we had the... nothing comes to mind as like an exciting... we never had anything memorable. I always just feel like we went to those re-enactor places. Oh, really? The butter journey. How weird. What kind of things? Because I can't think of anything. Actually, we went to like a cool island in like a seashell. I think I cut my foot on one and it was a horrible accident. Really? Yeah. It was like Amelia Island. It's like an island off the floor. Aren't it weird? So we'd go to a beachy field. You were injured. Yeah. But I was injured. It was like a whole to-do, of course. We go to factories a lot. Peanut butter factory. There's no factories in Florida. It's all just like... It's just tourism. I'll tell you this, my grandparents owned a sand mine. So that's what we're doing. What was the sand used for? Highway constructions. Concrete. Oh, okay. So like mixing. Yeah. It wasn't like... Not a lot of resources. Yeah. It'd be funny if the sand mine was just gold everywhere. You had the paint in the gold. I got some sand here. You can't point that shiny stuff. What is this platinum garbage? So we're on March 3rd, 1990. Yes. It's eight o'clock on Saturday night. What did you go with? I started out for the bang Friday 13th. Okay. The series. Oh, fuck. Are you serious? This is Friday 13th series. I was like, why is there an hour alone? I must have cut it down for television. No, no. Tell me about the series. I don't even know. This is Friday 13th series. It is actually no relation to the movies at all. Other than than it was produced by a guy named Frankman Cuso Jr., who was the producer of the Friday 13th series at Paramount. This is blowing my mind. Yes. So the series is actually pretty good. There are about two cousins who are romantically entangled. Yes. Filmed in Canada. They're not cousins. They're cousins by marriage. Okay, sure. Their uncle was a sickness who owned an antique shop, and all of the antiques were cursed because he made a deal with a devil. This is great. He dies and leaves the antique shop to them, and then the show is them trying to hunt down these cursed objects that he had sold over the years, and it's sort of an anthology series. So there was like evil dolls and... And they had like back store, like their own little back store. That's kind of genius. Yeah, it was pretty good. The Haunted Makeup Kit. Sure. At one of those. Yeah. It lasted three seasons. Hmm. Made in Canada. David Cronenberg directed a bunch of episodes. Why have I never heard about this? It was in syndication. It was a first-trans syndication show. It ran... It might not have aired in Florida. Yeah. It aired at different times in each market. And a lot of markets, it was on like Saturday nights at 11 or 10 in the morning. It was usually paired up with... There were sort of four horror anthology first-trans syndication shows. It was Friday the 13th of the series, Freddy's Nightmares, which is a never-known street series, which did actually feature Freddy, but was more like Tales from the Crypt. He was kind of hosted. And there was monsters and tales from the dark side. They were all sort of like that. So this was Friday the 13th of the series. It's a fun show. It's all available on DVD. Well, I would have been happily surprised. The main woman in it, she was an actress who went by one name, Robie. Yes, she's a red-headed actress named Robie. Robie. She put out an album where the big single was a cover of One Night in Bangkok by Murray Head. Yeah. It's very funny. She did. Because she's a very stilted actress. Yeah. And so she's like, "Bancock!" Or "Into City." I might put a link to a Robie version of One Night in Bangkok on a Tumblr for this. That sounds great. Please do. Yeah. She married a prince and lived in some island off the coast of Scotland or something after that. God, to be Robie, huh? We all want to be Robie. Wow. It's be Robie. I think the African nation of be Robie. Yeah. But it's a great show. I watched it every week. It was a fun show. Yeah. And even though you're disappointed that it was not the movie Friday the 13th, it was in fact the series. Now that I've heard, I think I'd be on board. Yeah. What you did pass up was the debut of a show, a drama, a one-hour drama on ABC called Help. But Help stands for something. Oh, God, what? It stands for the Harlem East Side Life Saving Program. Teams cops, firefighters, and paramedics in an experimental emergency unit. In the opener, a young girl is found floating in a bathtub. A tugboat explodes. A rash of building fires appears to be the work of a young arsonist and a cougar is spotted in an apartment building. They're all connected. Pre-Cougar town. Pre-Cougar town. This is like the big cat definition of cougar. Not just as an old lady cruising for dudes. We got a stopper. I've never seen Help, but it sounds like a fun show. I probably would have gone with Friday the 13th this series as well. I think that was a good pick. Thank you. 30 didn't have to pick anything because it's an hour-long show that you've chosen. And really, to be further, there's not much to pick from at that time anyway. 9 o'clock, would you go with? I did Colombo. Are you a fan of Colombo? You know, weirdly enough. No? Well, okay. I watched my first episode of Colombo a few months ago out of sheer boredom. That's how everyone watches the first episode of Colombo. And it continues to be an experience of sheer boredom. But I don't know. I think it's an interesting, because it's a reverse. It's How Ketchum and stuff who done it. That's legacy. It's the whole... But yeah, it is just an excruciating... Once you're in, you're in through the night. You got to stay. And this was after the weekly show had been cancelled and they brought it back as a series of two-hour movie of the weeks. And they were called the NBC mystery movie sometimes. This was a Colombo two-hour movie here. Yeah. You're in for the night. This is a renowned artist that employs a masterly Trump deal. I don't know what... I've never seen that French, do you speak French? No. Trump. D, apostrophe, O-E-I-L. Oh, Trump. No, I don't know. I've never seen that French word. Absolutely. TV Guide, using very scared French in here. Jesus. To cover the murder of his ex-wife far from the studio, where he supposedly was painting. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So it's a classic Colombo. It's just a two-hour thing because all the ones I've watched are two hours. It's bizarre to me. It's just the movies. Yeah. I had no idea. It is brutal. They're brutal. That's your like, "Well, there's my night gone." Yeah. All cool. Yeah, I would not have gone with Colombo. I would have gone with an all-new Golden Girls. Blanche is a strange sister, pens a lurid novel that leaves Blanche livid, and Dorothy plays host to Stan's hard-line communist cousin. Oh, man. What a B story. You don't get comments about that often. Yeah, I don't know. I'm just like punishing myself with the long drawn-out crime. Yeah. You're doing a lot of murder that evening. Yeah. There's Friday the 13th, which I don't know what episode was that night, but it might have been like a haunted pen that used Blanche. There was that kind of thing. It's a common theme. You'll see. I think the most ridiculous cursed object on Friday the 13th of the series was a haunted child's playhouse. It was like a dog. It was like a commission, a dollhouse, and a doghouse. No. And these kids would go play in it and bring other kids in there, and then the kids, the kid they would bring would get eaten by the playhouse. Oh, shit. Yeah, it was pretty fucked up. So at nine o'clock, you don't need to pick anything because you were watching Canbo. I would go with HBO with showing a one-night stand of Robin Harris, who sadly no longer with us. Are you familiar with Robin Harris? No. No. He was an African-American gentleman. Sure. He starred in the movie Babies Kids. Oh, no. He was in the house party movies. Okay, sure. He died. This one, Robin Harris, adult-oriented routines on unemployment babysitting in Disneyland, which was the basis for Babies Kids, which came out, have you seen Babies Kids? Animated movie. Okay. Came out after his death, mid-90s was some little kids with some real attitude. Oh, nice. Yeah. He was dating a woman who had been named Babies, who had some kids he had to watch at an amusement park, and that was Babies Kids. Now at 10 o'clock that night, speaking of Freddy's nightmares, that was on that night, this episode of Minister's Passion for a death row inmate places him between her and the electric chair. Oh, my God. But he may be burned when his intentions are discovered. Whoa. Yeah, that is. Some of these twists. Yeah, that is a twisty turny. That was as much as I like Freddy the 13th of the series, Freddy's nightmares was awful. I watched every, but it is the most community theater. That's why he had to go into other people's nightmares, because his own nightmares were fucking terrible, right? Yeah, exactly. So he could bring. Just like these community theater actors are no good. Yeah, it's terrible. Get out of my mind. A lot of people got their start on that show like Mariska Hagerty. Oh, really? Laurie Singer is a very odd show with a lot of Brad Pitt was on Freddy's nightmares. Yeah, he did a lot of TV, some growing pains, lots of stuff. So Sunday night, eight o'clock, what'd you go with? Okay, this one was real hard. I just did, hey, you know what? Nature documentary about gorillas. Really? Really? Are you a gorilla fan? Well, it's the diet, it's like, talks about Diane Fossey, right? Which made me think about gorillas in the mist, which made me think Sigourney Weaver. I don't think you can have a nature documentary about gorillas that isn't about Diane Fossey. Right, 'cause she. Unless it's about Coco and his kitten. Right, sex appeal or all ball? Yes. So this is a study of Rwanda's mountain gorillas, and where do they put gorillas in quotes? Which makes it seem like it's a racist show, like some kind of coded, those Rwanda mountain gorillas. I don't know why, gorilla's a thing, like that's not a real thing. No? No, TV Guide, you used a very obscure French term, and you're telling me that you don't understand how to use quotes? I think we don't know what's going on. Shai and Gentle Apes, whose inaccurate King Kong image has contributed to their decimation. Yeah. Yeah, that seems like kind of a bum out. I know, yeah, I'm kind of like a non-fiction gal a little bit. So you like a documentary? So I like to spice things up, start off a little serious, and then, you know, work my way through. So I mean, if you like documentary and non-fiction, I have quite a recommendation for you. Yeah. Alternate to the gorilla show. What? It's a little show called America's Funniest Home Videos, that is all real things. I can't. It's documentary. Nope. And in this episode, now keep in mind, TV Guide mentions this is just scheduled, so it may differ. So don't get mad if it's not exactly this. But a New York infant does a lip sync rendition of New York, New York. A Las Vegas man bowls a strike right through the wall of his home, and also, water skiers. That's it. It's fucking dark. So people water skiers. It's good nerds. Yeah. I mean, that sounds, that's ticked all the boxes for you there. Sure. It's documentary. It's real life, and it's not depressing. But she, I just like, she was like a, you know, she's like a rangey kind of bitch who's the number. You're like an outdoorsy person? I am totally not, but I just sent him into the, she was, she, it's like Lauren, you know, she got murders. It's just two nights in a row. You've gone with murder. I know. It doesn't stop there. No, that I'm sure it'll continue. The murder continues throughout the evening. So a 30 didn't pick anything because you're still watching the gorilla documentary I assume. Yeah. What you passed up on was the short-lived half hour drama Elvis, which was a dramatization of the 50s career of Elvis. It was a huge budget show. It was actually a pretty good show. Michael Singh Gerard played Elvis, who was in the movie Hairspray, who is Tracy Turnblad's love interest. Oh, okay. He looks exactly like Elvis. Yeah. Yeah. And this one went Elvis and his band go on the road, the car and then the camaraderie breakdown as bass player Bill grows increasingly jealous of the show stopping Elvis. Well, yeah. That seems to be maybe the only theme of one of the three things. Imagine that you're the three guys that back up Elvis. Nobody gives a shit about you and, and they show you. Yeah, why would they? I love Elvis. I watched the show for like the eight weeks that it was on before it got canceled. I am kind of more of a fan of like, at least music-wise of like sweaty, sweaty Elvis. Oh, absolutely. 70s Elvis is far superior to 50s Elvis. Thank you. No one, no one will believe they think I'm crazy. We're in the same page here. His voice was in fine form. Yeah. He had like a 200-piece band and did these huge arrangements. Yep. Amazing stuff. It was like, I like his rock and board. Oh, so boring. Oh, we're done. Yeah. You want this big, histrionic, 45 vocal group. Yeah, if you ever seen, that's the way it is, the documentary, or, oh, you would love that's the way it is. It's a documentary about Elvis's 1973 tour, where he's the first tour he did with this huge band, and so the concert footage is amazing, but there's all this footage of him like arranging the songs, and he was in good shape, 32-inch waist at this time, he's doing his karate on stage, making his awful jokes. I read an interview with Ronnie Tut, the drummer for his band at that time was probably the best drummer. Yes. And he's just like, I was jealous. But he's talking about how Elvis had a really weird sense of humor and had all these in-jokes that he thought you knew and no one knew what he was talking about. So he's like, one day I got this, it was a watch from Elvis, and it said, "To Ronnie, love Squirrely. I have no idea what that means." And he was like, "Right, right?" And I was just like, "Shut thingy. I don't know what it means. I never know." It was just like all kinds of stuff like that. Wow. That's great. Have you ever heard Tony Boston comedian Tony V's story about Graceland? No. So he's a big all this man as well. Yeah. And actually my dad went to Graceland. I've never been to Graceland somehow. I'd like to go in a second. Yeah. You've been there? No. I'd like to go. But my dad went there, and he called me from the jungle room, and he goes, "This is exactly what he says." He goes, "Yeah, I'll met you buddy Elvis's place." And I was like, "Yeah, he goes, I'm in the jungle room." I guess Elvis started with pretty cool in the '70s, and I'm like, "Yeah, he did. It's Elvis." He was pretty cool in the '70s. So there's a book that the Walsh brothers went there, and Tony is like, "You've got to go in this room, and there's a book in this glass case you've got to look at." And it's this philosophy book, and there's this, I don't remember the exact passage, but there's this really philosophical quote, and Elvis has underlined it and wrote next to it, "Karate." What? Yeah. Yeah, that's his note, "Karate." Oh my God. I want to check out a library book that guy was perusing now. You can't write in library books. No, okay. I remember I ripped a page out of a library book once. I feel bad about it. Don't. Well, I had a band at the time, and there was a book of photographs, and I just tore a page out and used it as the cover of our album. It's for arts. Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. It's educational purposes. It's fine. Don't be fine. Our library, the librarian in Melrose, was, he used to do the sign language for the church show on Sunday morning, like, "In Florida, I imagine you probably had church on TV in Sunday morning." Yeah. So this guy was the guy in the little circle in the corner, and he was kind of a dumpy guy with glasses, and he was, he would go from zero to ballistic in four seconds. Like, he was so-- With his signing? With his signing? He wasn't deaf. Right. But yeah, he would sign while he yelled at you, because I think it was just, like, automatic. Awesome. He'd be like, "You goddamn kids!" And he'd be signing. So this kid named Chris, who was a dummy, there was an elevator at the library that only went up one floor because it was for handicapped people and not for everybody. Sure. And you got to use a key, and he was like, "Oh, he's the elevator." And this guy was like, "No, you don't need that elevator." And he's like, "I do want to have colitis." And I think he knew a colitis once. So he gets in the elevator, and then the elevator got stuck between the two floors, and he started crying, and then all I remember is this tubby, sign language guy going, "I don't believe in you in there, because you deserve it, you little brat!" And he left the kid in there for like an hour. What? So we were all studying while this kid was crying in the elevator. That means you should not be an educator, maybe. Oh, he counts as an educator. Yeah, I guess not. Is it like we're in an educator? Uh, I don't know, just a keeper, a curator, maybe. A curator, yeah. Yeah. He might still work at the library for all I know. Jesus Christ. But that kid Chris was stuck in the elevator for, I mean, he deserved it. Okay, yeah. Fair enough. So 9 o'clock would you go with? I did Tracy Omen. Right? That's a good move. Did you used to watch Tracy Omen when it was on? No, I like, oh, I think it was too, I mean, I've been five years old at this point. Yeah. So I wouldn't have. But, you know, I know her. I respect her as a, you know... As a musician. Yes. She had some hit singles. Yeah, yeah. So this is obviously where the Simpsons got their start as well. Yep. Have you ever seen the show? Mm-hmm. It was a pretty great show. It was really weird. Yeah. She did, as you would imagine, it's Tracy Omen. Right. She does a lot of weird stuff. So this one is the completion of her new design kitchen has Sarah Downey reminiscing about good and bad times with her husband Greg, played by Dan Castill and editor, who's Emerson. Yeah. Very weird show. It doesn't get rerunned very often. Not on DVD. It's not as popular or as easy to find as like Tracy takes on or other stuff. Right. It's like a sick, is she a character or something? It's characters. It's sketches. That's what I remember. It's sketches, but they're almost like tiny sitcoms rather than like a broad, semi-liver and living-color sketch. They're all character pieces. Yeah. So some of them would be just like a couple eating dinner and it's like a sad conversation. Like it's not even a, it's not even a sketch or she's just in the fun. It was a really weird show. It was one of the weirder sketch shows I ever remember watching. I watched it every week. I definitely would have watched it at that time. Yeah. Pass up though. On A&E was a show called Arenos Cabaret Reunion, which was the first of an AIDS benefit concert celebrating New York City's Reno Sweeney featuring Phoebe Snow, Ken Page, and Janicean. Boring. Yes. Boring City. Yep. So I would have gone with that as well. 9.30 would you go with? Um, well, I didn't know how long the, I didn't know how long that shows because it didn't fall. Yeah. I just went, I went to the, um, I went to for mash for the next time block because I was just like, here's the thing, I just watched, uh, the movie. Okay. Robert Altman. Yep. Fantastic movie. It is except I was like, Oh, this movie is so great. It's a classic. And then I realized that the movie is just about, um, sexually harassing a woman to a breaking point. Yes. That's pretty much exactly all the movies about it. And nobody cares. There's no repercussions. No. Right. That's how. Yeah. I think that's true in the military today. Yeah. I think we're seeing that now. Yeah. Well, there's some depositions happening. Yeah. But this show was very depressing. I actually got some meat. Robert Altman. Really? He, when, um, the Walsh brothers who come up again, uh, Boston comedians who now live in LA, they, uh, they got into the HBO aspen comedy festival in 2006 and I invited myself to go with them, which I did. And Robert Altman was there. He was showing, uh, Prairie home companion. He was like, it was like two or three months before he died, so I very briefly talked to him. Wow. It was, it was pretty, pretty big moment. Yeah. Yep. Uh, but yeah, I hated the Mash TV show. Really? My uncle would always watch. It just seems so old. I don't like war stuff. Really? And, uh, I recognize that it was a quality show, but I just couldn't get into it. I don't know why. Yeah. The only thing I know is the, the whole like the chicken thing. That's all I know. Yeah. And that's all you gotta know, right? Yeah. Just know a cultural reference. I don't like Jamie Farr. Really? Something about him is very often. Jamie Farr is in a, the only, here's the best thing Jamie Farr said. It's a movie called Curse 2, The Bite, and it's a sequel to the original Curse. Sure. And in this movie, this guy gets bitten by a radioactive snake and his hand turns into a snake. What? And he, and his girlfriend's trying to save him and Jamie Farr is like a snake bite expert. It's, I highly recommend you go on Netflix favorite Curse 2, The Bite, and you will not be disappointed. Wow. So if I haven't seen the original Curse, can I follow Curse 2? You can because it's more of an anthology series. So the original Curse, if you want to see a prepubescent Wil Wheaton and Tidy Wadi underwear. Go on. Rent the first curse. Okay. Because it is a, it is an unofficial adaption of HP Lovecraft's The Color From Outer Space, which is about a meteor that lands in a town's water supply and sort of makes them all go crazy. Which sounds better than, yeah. Yeah. Which is, but it's creepy. It literally Wil Wheaton's like 10 years old in underwear for 90 of the 95 minutes of the movie. Oh boy. Yeah. Someone's like, you know, I like this stand by me. It's, there's not enough leech scenes in it. I think if we could make a movie that's all the leech scene from stand by me, we'd have a big money maker here. That's exactly what they did. So I don't think it would have gone with mash. It was not a fan of mash. I absolutely, without question, would have gone with scTV network on Nick at night, maybe my favorite schedule all the time. I didn't even see that on there. I totally would have known that too. I love scTV so much. There's two things my wife and I watch every night when we go to sleep and we rotate. We watch all of Mystery Science, the other 3000, which is 200 episodes so it takes most of a year. Sure. And then we switch to scTV network 90 and we watch that for another six months. That's a great trip. I love that. Yeah. We've, we've gone through the show many, many times. I do want to mention this at 11 p.m. that night on Caroline's Comedy Hour, the comics on the show were Sue Kalinsky, Boston comedian, Tae Bergeron, Mike McDonald, Austin from Boston, and host Carol Leifrin. Wow. Just as a fun fact. So we move on to Monday night, as I always say, the saddest night of the week. Gone back to school, you really need something to take you away. Sure. What do you go with? This was tough because, see the thing is, I want to go for the movies, but then that just knocks out so much time. You're out for the night. You can go for the movie. So it's tough. So I decided to go with mood, the moonlighting. Moonlighting is a great show. Yeah. One of my favorite shows, absolutely. This is a rerun of moonlighting and by 1990. Was this show that you watched frequently? I watched it. It did. I kind of felt like I was always watching something kind of bad. Do you know what I mean? Because it seemed a little adult. A little risque. Sexy. It's sexy. It's sexy. Oh, it absolutely is. We'll civil shepherd him. For some reason, the lady's like, "This will us." Yeah. He's a babe in that. But I think she, because my whole life, I've always wanted to be an ice queen. That's like, I wish people thought she's the ultimate. She's the ultimate. She's the ultimate. She's the ultimate. You read her autobiography, Civil Disobedience? Oh, no. Very good. She did it all for a short time, actually. Really? Yes. Very, very good book. There's on my wall of celebrity autobiographies, but I actually think I have two copies of it. That's great. Yeah. But yeah, this was on Lifetime. Lifetime used to be a pretty good network for rerunning our long dramas in the early 90s. They rerun Spencer for hire, moonlighting, 30-something, The Days and Nights at Molly Dodd. Yep. They had some pretty good programming. So this was moonlighting, re-earring on Lifetime. I, however, on a Monday night in 1990 was watching my two dads. Sure. I get that. A show? Did you ever used to watch this show? So this was Paul Reiser's first sitcom. Okay. So it was Paul Reiser and Greg Evagan. And this is the premise of the show. They were both having sex with this woman. She got pregnant and had a child and then she died. Yeah. And they don't know who the father is. So they both move in together to raise this girl, played by Stacy Keenan. And that's the show. There seemed like there'd be a way to sort of solve. Yes. They addressed that in the second series. They were like, "Here's a test. We can tell you the dad is in short." They don't want to know. I don't want to know. Yeah. But I feel like this show, they wanted to make a show about two gay dudes. Right. And they just looked at two. And they're like, "No, it's much more acceptable if it's just some whore." Right. They're like, "It's like a dead whore." It's, yes. People are way more comfortable with someone who sleeps around and we don't know who got her pregnant than two loving gay dudes raising a well-adjusted teenage girl. No one's going to buy it. Oh, God. Right. As long as we could say, "Hey, this woman had sex with these two dudes in a two week window." Yeah. More in poverty. Maybe same day, we don't know. Could have been the same day, we don't know. Yeah. We didn't get into that. Yeah. But this particular episode, after his arrest for an environmental protest, Joey, who was the artsy one, played by Greg Abigon, who sang the theme song to the show, by the way, that was a trend you don't see too much these days. Well, most theme songs now don't have vocals. They don't have to. Yeah. There were so many sung by the lead actor. I feel like there was a '90s thing, too, because like the Andy Griffith Show theme had words originally, they took him out and it was just the whistle, which would be all up. Yeah. You can put your own words. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a mad lib. But Greg Abigon, who he was sort of a heart-throb in the '70s, on the songs, just he was like a Don Johnson type, had like a scruff and the song just went like, "You can't count on me!" Which is great because then Paul Reiser went to play the, he wrote and played the piano on the mat about you theme song. Oh my goodness. Look at that. Yeah. But they didn't know what to play though. I think we should bring that back. I'd like to see like maybe one of the people from The Walking Dead singing the theme song to that or Mad Men. Mm-hmm. I've never seen that show, but I assume that theme song goes like, "Mad Men!" Yeah. Yeah. It's a clown-gee. Yeah. So my two dads would have been my pick there. I did pass up MacGyver, which is the silliest show on television. Yeah. Yeah. It's a part. It's about one of two. MacGyver joins an archaeologist on her quest for the Holy Grail. Okay. That is the... So, eight-thirty, what'd you go with? I did... Well, let's see. I did... You did an hour. Well, yeah, I didn't see. That's the thing. Some of these I'm like, "I don't fucking know. I thought moon landing was an hour. It's half an hour." It is an hour. Okay. So we're watching all of it. Right. Murphy Brown, is that? Nine o'clock. Yeah. Murphy Brown. Yeah. So at eight-thirty though... Wait, I thought it was at eight. Am I crazy? Oh, right. So we got confused here. I'm translating for the East Coast people, but yeah. It was at eight-thirty at eight-thirty. It was at eight-thirty. It was at eight-thirty. It was at eight-thirty. It was at eight-thirty. I didn't like Murphy Brown. This is a repeat. And the movie is Heathers, one of my all-time favorite movies. It's a great movie. Yeah. Saw this in the theater. It was the double feature of Winona Ryder love that year between Beetlejuice. Yep. And Heathers... Heathers is a great movie. Yeah, I love it. The guy who wrote that never was able to follow up. He tried. Really? What did he do? He called Meet the Apple Gates that stars Ed Begley Jr. as a sentient, giant cockroach from the rainforest who can impersonate human beings and him and his family and try to infiltrate a suburban neighborhood to take them down from the inside. Yeah. It's a weird movie. It sounds real weird. It didn't do well. Nope. I haven't even think so. But Heathers, I absolutely love it. I wonder if what a teenager, a current teenager would think of Heathers. I don't know. I mean, it's like super... I mean, I guess in all movies with high schoolers, they're all like really adult. Yeah. You know what I mean? But that was like... I mean, it's pretty sophisticated stuff. But they were... I think almost everyone playing an adult in that teenager in that movie was a teenager. Pretty young, they're pretty young. Yeah. But I wonder if kids... It seems that movie seems way ahead of its time, so when I watch that now, it seems kind of like what society's like now. Yeah, super dark school violence. Yeah. And just like the pithiness of everybody. And I wonder if kids now would just be like, "This is boring." Yeah. It's a whore. I mean, yeah. It's totally worth it. It's good. Oh man. Big fun. Yeah. Teenage to this side. Don't do it. So Murphy Brown this episode is snowed in on a publicity stop. Murphy goads the normally frosty gym into warming up to a woman at a hotel bar. I don't know if I want to see Jim. Yeah. I'm up to a woman. I don't know if I'm into that. So I think I'm sticking with Heathers on that one. 9.30. What'd you go with? I see him all screwed up now at the timeline. That's fine. So let's say what you picked for 8.30. Well. Central time. See you now. I did like the hour. So I have like Star Trek next generation. So did you watch that? Yeah. Who's the weirdest thing? Okay. I never watched Star Trek the next generation and literally every single one of these I've recorded with every single one of my friends all picks Star Trek. Really? All these people watched the show and I have no idea. Like if I lined up all my friends and we're like, let me just pick out who watched that. I maybe would pick like four people, but it's everybody. Weird. That makes me. I don't know. Are you into sci-fi generally? No. That seems to be what everyone says as well. Yeah. It's the show that got me I guess. So do you like it now after that or do you only like that show? There's a re like all my friends are now watching on Netflix who never watched it in the 90s and they're super into it. So it's just is it the soap opera nature of it? Is it just like an exciting, I could never get into it. Yeah. I've never been a sci-fi person. Yeah. I mean, I think it's got these like very, it's like a very like liberal like learning about other cultures kind of things. Right. It's got all these great lessons. So for hippie. It's very, yeah, it's kind of hippie. And then there's all these like, it's yeah, ton of like sexy. There's like all these. Yeah. It's like, yeah. I don't think anyone's ever described Star Trek the next generation as sexy. Well, there's two. If I had to sum up Star Trek the next generation in one word, it would be sexy. Okay. Well, you already mentioned Wil Wheaton, which we know sexy. See, honky? I had a little crush on him because he's like my age is like a younger, he's like trying to act very ambitious and name alone. What girl doesn't love a dude? His last name's Chris. Right, exactly. This is built in made for it. His mom, Beverly Crusher, very like, you know, she's like a career, she's a soft doctor. She's sleeping with the captain of the ship. What is she? Hush hush. I had no idea about that. John Luke. Yeah. And then there's like fucking horror Deanna Troy. No one likes her. No one likes her. No one likes her. No one likes her. Weird accent. No. No, you really need to put on a, like, a federation uniform. Yeah. What are you doing? I'm like, thank you. Like, she just, cause she's a guidance counselor. She gets to be a smart. Wasn't she psychic or something? Yeah, that was her whole, she got to sit on the bridge of the ship just because she could be like, I think you're feeling something. That's not. She was an empath. Yeah. And it's just. Yeah. I don't think there's a place on a ship friend. Not a woman in general, but especially not. Yeah. So it was like, it was like a, a woman constantly in her cycle. Yeah. That's what she was. But like in a good way. Yeah. In a good way. Yeah. So she purchased the first season on Blu-ray to try and get into it. I liked the Borg. That's amazing. They were kind of creepy. Yeah. They were kind of creepy. I liked that. That's the cool backstory. Yeah. And I, I, I stood about two feet away from Jonathan Frakes one time. Oh. Interesting. Who directs now? He directed many episodes of Burn Notice, which I do love. Really? Burn Notice. Burn Notice is awesome. I only know that sketch though. Sorry. Yeah, it seems to be everybody. I was having a really bad night one night. I was doing a show in New York and some comic made fun of Burn Notice. Yeah. And I snapped and got him against the wall and I was like, "What's the problem with Burn Notice?" He was like, "What?" I was like, "You never fucking seen it. You've never seen it, have you?" And he was like, "No." And I was like, "You're just using it as shorthand for a bad show and you never even seen it." That's amazing. And this kid was like, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm a little..." You had to like buy your shirt. I'm just imagine using it. Yeah. A couple inches off the floor. Yeah. But it's a, it's a fun show. It's basically the A team. Alright. And Bruce Campbell's in it from a little bit of movies. It's, it's great. And then actors from Boston, who remains very actually, he's very bossed. There's a lot of... Yeah, guy. And that kind of stuff. Because he has to go on to cover as a scumbag often to infiltrate these things. Oh, and that's a classic cover. Yeah. Always goes, Boston accent. Makes sense. I would. It's great. So anything else that you picked on Monday night and I'm confused now? I did. I did. Yeah, I know me too. I did. I did Mr. Ed. Really? It took half a year. I'm Nick at night. I just saw it a ton of Nick at night. Oh, I did too. But Mr. Ed was probably my least favorite show on Nick at night. I think, and now looking back, I'm like, was the whole thing... Did he have to keep the horse a secret? Was that the whole thing that nobody could know? It was a... He had to keep that talk to secret. Right. The horse was just like, it was like half in his house. Yeah, that was weird. I've never known anyone that owned a horse. Yeah. So to me, I was just like, yeah, well, you keep the horse in the house. That's what happens, right? It's, you have a horse house with the... Yeah. And my grandfather lived in a, like a ranch house in Brockton, and I always thought his house looked like the house for Mr. Ed, his birth 50s. Yeah. And he got this giant Saint Bernard dog that kind of went there, like a half-door like the... Like the saloonie. Yeah, it was very much like the Mr. Ed house, so to me, I was like, oh, that makes sense, I didn't imagine. Yeah. I always thought that that show was just about a man with mental illness. But like, it's like his Harvey, like it doesn't really... Yeah, there's no horse. Yeah. A little bit more talking horse. A lot of 50s and 60s shows were about keeping secrets. Yeah, you're right. The witch, Tydrey, the genie. Interesting. Yeah. It was all... It was a culture of the time. There was a lot of... Secret... Behind closed doors. We'll keep magic a secret. Yeah. Talking horses. Things we could change the world. Yes. I guess I... It's not that interesting of a secret. Because you know what? What the hell is a horse going to say? Yeah, we don't. I'm not interested. You know how many people I know that talk that I'm not interested in here and talk? Like never mind an uneducated animal that just sits in a barn. Who's only you is just through your house? Yeah, he's not very interested. He doesn't even have films. Like it's not like he didn't do anything interesting. So Tuesday night, eight o'clock, what'd you go with? I did Matlock. Really? See, you're going with all the procedural shows. Yeah, that's kind of... Is that your thing? It's kind of my thing. I loved Matlock. I actually did watch Matlock a lot. I find Andy Griffith very comforting. Really? I couldn't get into the Andy Griffith show. Really? Yeah, especially after Floyd the Barber had the stroke. Yeah, that's a sad... Very creepy. Yeah, I know. But I think... Because my... You know, he's like, Southern. It kind of reminds me a little bit more. I don't know if I have Southern. Because I don't think of you as very Southern. I know. Well, I am. I'm like a sixth generation Floridian. So my family has been there for a long time. And we're like central north, so they've got accents in the whole center. Right, right, right. So central north is like where Orlando is? Kind of, yeah. I'm like, yeah. Like Gainesville and then Tall Mostly Southern. So we've been there for a long time. The whole like, you know, like cracker kind of... Yeah, moonshine. Yeah. Whole day. Cossum eating. Yep. My dad would like, you know, frog-gigging that whole thing. Frog-gigging? Yeah. Is that what you're shining lightener on? Yes. When you poke a stick on them? Yeah, you spear them and then you get the frog legs and you string up like... Can you eat them? Yeah, yeah. Do you guys know what you saw? Yeah. And like, what else? Do you ever crave them now? No. I think it was like a little bit... I was a little bit young for the bony weird. It seems like a little work for a tiny little thing. Yeah. I've got an alligator before. Yeah. I've never had that. It tastes... It really does taste like fishy chicken. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. It's kind of what they are, I guess. So... Because you lived up here for a while, probably like ten years now. Two years, yeah. And do you ever want to move back there? No. Yeah, I couldn't imagine... No, absolutely not. It's really boring. And it's just... It's a sad... It's a sad place. It's a sad place. It's a sad place. I remember I worked for this job that I had to travel like one or two weeks every month. And two of the places they went were Austin, Texas and Orlando, Florida all the time. And I never wanted to go there and I would go to Detroit because it was way more interesting. And they were like, "Don't you gonna like Orlando?" And I'm like, "No." It's the word everyone in the planet who's awful is in that airport at one time. Yep. And there's nothing new. Like, everything's new. There's nothing interesting. Did you ever go to like Universal Studios, Nickelodeon Studios when they were filming things? I know. I never had to see the filming so I always wanted to though. I thought that would happen. Yeah. Because Nickelodeon shot a ton of shows there. Yep. All their like, game shows, right? All their game shows and Clarissa. Clarissa. Roundhouse. But they don't also USA Network Shot Swamp Thing. Right. And Super Boy Shot Down There. Yeah. They had actually, we have like a cabin in the O'Cal National Forest and it's overrun with monkeys from all the Tarzan films. What kind of monkeys? Whatever monkeys they had in those films. Shims and stuff. No, no, no, no. Like, like, swinging tree monkeys. Oh, like a poochin. Yeah. Because they like in the 30s and 40s when they film all those movies in Florida, they're just like, "Ah, fuck it." And they left all the animals and saw all these weird, crazy animals. So you're in this cabin on vacation and there's monkeys in the roof and stuff? Yeah. I mean, there's not like, they're not coming. It's not like a, like, packs of monkeys and, yeah, but it's one of those weird things where they like, yeah, they filmed all these movies and still like, pythons or like, all over the place, people's pets. It's a, it's a mess of a, it's a mess of a state. There was an amusement park around called Rocky Point and it was, there's a great documentary called You Must Be This Tall or Add This Ride by Rocky Point. And in the 1930s, they had a zoo there with monkeys, a bunch of chimps and stuff and there was a hurricane. And they all got loose and the monkeys lived in the woods and on the beach and in like, the haunted house. Oh my God. For decades. Oh my God. They also had a guy named the amazing electric boy who had been struck by lightning and lost his arms and used to dive. Oh yeah, this place, the Rocky Point, I mean, I saw Samantha Fox there and a roller rink. I was 10 years old, I was eating clam chowder on roller skates watching Samantha Fox, which sounds like a weird dream, so I'm on roller skates, right? I'm eating clam chowder for some reason and Samantha Fox's point doesn't make any sense. That's a weeded in New England down in Universal Studios. I forget what even time we're at. I think Matt, I think Matt works an hour. Yes. So this is an episode where Julie makes news when she defends a man charged with killing a newspaper editor and runs into her ex-husband who's prosecuting the case. Yeah, Andy Griffith never, never did it for me. I don't know if I come across as extremely New Englandy, I probably do, but thank you for that. But the Southern stuff really, it's just folksy. Something about it really made me uncomfortable, yeah. Also, I should mention at this time you passed up every kid's favorite show, Nova. And this episode, I mean, we all remember this one as kids, that shows us when in school. High energy physics experiments in the race for the top, the exclusive top quark are examined. So there you go. Oh my God. I would have gone with Rescue 911. I see. I enjoy reenactments. Me too, but I passed up unsolved mysteries too because that was a little too scary for me. That was scary. But Rescue 911 was for people who wanted to see bad reenactments, but not be scarce. And in this one, the acting horrific in a good way. This one is a New Mexico teen swept into flash flood, a skydiver knocked unconscious over Arizona, a confrontation in an Indian grocery store between the police and a gunman, and the New York City Fire Department on its busiest day of the year, July 4th. Hey now. Yeah, this sounds like a pretty fun night. Do they have it does? It does. Yeah. So a 30 didn't need to pick anything because you're watching Matt Locke nine o'clock would you go? I did Roseanne. Classic. This is a repeat. I love terror episode, always a great episode. That's Halloween in March, that famous thing we all know. And now since this was a rerun, I, although normally would have watched Roseanne, I would have gone with a movie science fiction film called Runaway starring Tom Selleck. Interesting. Never heard of it. This is a movie starring Tom Selleck and Gene Simmons of Kiss. Gene Simmons plays an evil robotics genius who makes killer robot spiders and heat seeking bullets in the future and Tom Selleck goes after what they call runaways, which I can just read the description here. It's Tom Selleck is a futuristic cop, stoically defending a city from haywire robots. Here's the thing written and directed by Michael Creighton. What? Yes. TV Guide only gives it two stars. Wow. I think it's a fun movie. Really. Kirsty Alley's in it. Okay. And she was still trying to do a movie career. Yeah. It's a pretty fun movie. I started in the theater with my dad. And the future would be like this is exactly what it's going to be like. I'm like Gene Simmons is going to make evil spiders. Tom Selleck is going to, because what happens is like, yeah, I can't believe you didn't just kill yourself. I know. That's what I'm in for. I know. Like this, what's the point? We're all going to have to have mustache. Just like Tom Selleck in the future. Not worth living. I can't. The mustache. Oh, no. Yeah. So a 30, I mean, nine 30, you didn't have to do it. Yes. He did Roseanne. I did Roseanne. And did like nine 45 like I, that's fine. 15 minutes. Yeah. Halloween 4. Yeah. Return of Michael Myers. Yeah. So have you seen this before? No. This is not the best. Right. Cool. This sells Daniel Harris, who was on Roseanne. She played their neighbor. And this movie is from 1988, I believe, it had a direct follow up with Halloween 5. So Halloween 3 was called Season of the Witch. That's the one with the. To her mask. Yeah. Three more days to Halloween. I love that one. So due to fan outrage, they brought him back with Halloween 4, the curse of Michael Myers. Return of Michael Myers. It's the most like the first one. Okay. It's enjoyable slash a movie. Yep. A lot of murder. Yeah. Still with the murder theme. Yeah. Do you really about like serial killers? Yeah. Really? Look at those people. Who's the most fascinating? I used to be like in high school. I was super into Ted Bundy because he killed and like all, he was very handsome. Number one. And he killed in all the cities I lived in. He's very Florida. He ended up in Tallahassee. He killed in Gainesville. Like he had all. So was aspirational. Yeah. His life path. But then I used to do this whole thing where I like go to the library, but can I see your back files? Right. You know, like can I take the elevator up to your back files? Exactly. It felt like I was like kind of like a gum shoe. So you thought you were going to crack these cases? Even though he's like on death row. Like it wasn't a case. I think I know who did it. I know who did the Ted Bundy murders everybody. Yeah. It was weird. Totally. And that's crack this. It's gross. And I actually had this. Like I think this freaked my mom out. I wasn't like a troubled child necessarily, but I had handwritten a list of all of his victims the day they died, the day they disappeared, the day they were found, how they were killed. Like what were they wearing when they were last? Did you carry this with you at all times? It was folded up. Like it was weird. And when you just take it out and review it, like waiting for the bus. Marianne was still. Yeah. No. I don't know why I had it. It was just helped me like compile this information. And that was weird. Are you over that, huh? Do you still read about that stuff? I do. It's like a, it's just such a dumb thing to be. Like it's like everyone's into the like murder stuff. I know of everyone's into the murder stuff. I think that it's like kind of a, it's like a thing people, you know. Yeah. I, I read an interesting article about how serial killers are a myth basically created by the FBI. She's saying. Like it's so books. What? And that like half the people who are half of these murders pinned on them maybe did like two murders. Weird. But I don't know how the validity, the validity of that. Yeah. Ted Bonny was an interesting one. It's just, yeah. He did, he had a lot of like the whole, you know, he was like, yeah, which it's like, and then it kind of like made them, you know, he used to terrify me was the night star. Oh my god. Richard Ramirez. Yeah. You remember there was a Punky Brewster episode about the night stalker? Yeah. So Richard Ramirez was a rapist murderer. Yeah. Horribly. Terrifying. Home invasions. And there was an episode of Punky Brewster where she's scared that the night stalker is going to come into her window at night and kill her because she saw it on the news. And the episode's supposed to be like, no kids don't worry about the night stalker. But in order to tell us not to worry about the night stalker, they had to tell us about the night stalker. So we're saying it was totally random like he would pull up a highway and just go into a house. Yeah. Because he was like robbing. Yeah. The guy was just fucked up. It was because of Metallica mostly. Yeah. Yeah. And my dad would always go. I'd be like, I'm nervous about this night star. That's in California. They do that there. Yeah. That doesn't happen here. Rock and roll in the beach blanket, big nose. Yeah. They go nuts. They go kill people. It's too cold and people are too private. You know, it's like, don't leave their house. You just described two conditions that would probably be appealing for a serial killer. No one tells secrets. The ground is frozen and covered in snow for months. People don't see each other for months and months at a time and don't think it's strange. I think of it more as like domestic abuse. Like right for that. Yeah. Like everyone's cooped. Like shining. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Fair enough. I've been to the overlook. The Estes Park, Colorado. Yeah. I've been there. It was exciting. Wow. Yeah. Same carpet. The carpet was different. Yeah. The carpet was different. Yeah. So all this murder. Okay. And you've never been no one's attempted to murder you. No. Do you attribute that to your savviness about serial killers? Right. I think the ultimate irony in my life is that I would be like, I kind of have this thing I'm like, what if I murdered? Because I'm so like in that, you know what I mean? So you believe in the power of irony so much that you think that you'll be murdered? I don't know. I guess I don't know if it would be ironic necessarily. Have you ever heard Debbie Harry's Ted Bundy story? No. So Debbie Harry is from Blondie. Yep. Everyone knows. Yep. In the 70s, she was, she used to hitchhike home sometimes from, she used to wait tables at either Max's, Kansas City or CBG's. So she gets in this car with this guy and it's Ted Bundy. And she looks and the doors have been gutted so you can't open them. And so from the inside. And so she ended up putting her hand through the window and opening it and jumping out into the street. And then she didn't think about it and then later when they caught Ted Bundy, she's like, it was that guy. That's fucking crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Debbie Harry almost killed by Ted Bundy. Don't hitchhike. So yeah, I wouldn't have gone with things about serial killers. I would have gone with Runaway. Do you were watching Halloween floor and that's fine. That's fine. Let's move on to Wednesday night. Yep. What would you go with at eight o'clock? We did Unsolved Mysteries again. So did you like the serial killer things on this? Well, I feel like they were always kind of, they weren't that exciting, right? There was like, oh, we got to pack in four weird little things, right? It was like a disappearance. They're out to disappear. Yeah. You know which ones always really bothered me. What? It would be like Lost Loves. Oh, God. Or like, we had an affair for a weekend in 1944 and I never saw her again and then they were reunited. And I don't want to see the finder at Lost Loves. That's not interesting. Who's the guy? Oh, it's Robert Stack. Right. From Catty Shack. Right. Okay. It's Catty Shack too. I kept it because like then I was like, oh no, it's Adam Walsh's dad, but that's Marcus was wanted. No, that's Marcus was wanted. He was a badass. Yeah. Yeah. So did you follow that Adam Walsh case? I actually just watched The Made for TV movie release. Because that was in Florida. Yep. He got decapitated at a mall, right? Yes. Yes. They think it was, what is it? What is it? It was a tool. Yeah. Well, no, but Otis tool and Henry Lee Lucas. Right. They were famous fibbers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I killed them. Sure. Yep. Have you seen Henry portrait of a serial killer? No, but I didn't like that. That is very disturbing. Yeah, I don't want to. Very disturbing. Michael Roker. Very, very scary. So this is "Unsolved Mysteries" or a port on a Nazi war criminal named Rudolf Hess suggests that a double may have served his prison sentence. Also, this search for a missing Montana woman. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I think they're unrelated, those two stories. Like did you watch like, I know my first name is Steven? I read about that. That is... That is... That TV movie is fucked up. I don't want... You know his brother ended up being a serial killer. Yes. Yes. I had read about that. I remember there was one of the things that scared me the absolute most on "Unsolved Mysteries" was this teenage girl disappeared. Yeah. And some guy was like three years later was jogging and he finds a Polaroid on the side of the road. And the Polaroid is these two girls in their underwear tied up in the back of a van. And they think, and it looks kind of like one of the girls, and they showed the fucking picture. You serious? The real picture. I was like ten years old and I'm like, this is the most terrifying fucking thing I've ever seen. Like knowing that it was a real photograph. Like a snot like about to be... I don't know what the hell I'm like that. That is showing. Like this isn't helpful. That's awful. Yeah, but the reenactment, it was, here's the only saving grace. The reenactment of the jogger. This actor was like... Whoa! Like does this a total overreaction of this Polaroid? But then it's showing the real polar, it freaked me out. And I remember I was on a Wikipedia reading about unsolved mysteries cases. And that one pulled up and someone posted the freaking picture in the entry and I didn't sleep that night. I didn't sleep that night. I'm imagining it and it scares me. It's terrifying. So I think I would have called it a growing pace that night. With a $5,000 inheritance from their grandparents, Ben starts spending Michael's shopping for a car and Carol thinks of a perfect thank you gift. I remember this one, it's a pretty nice episode, there's no Nazis or serial killers on growing pains. I'm going with that. Alright, yeah. So 830, you don't have to pick anything because you're still watching Nazi Gold. Right. I would have gone ahead of the class, which was a show that to me is the most accurate representation of going to high school in Manhattan that ever existed. Yeah, okay. Because I don't know anything about going here. High school in Manhattan. Yeah, high school in Manhattan. Nine o'clock, what'd you go with? I did Green Acres. I love Green Acres. Yeah. All right. It's a spinoff. Did you know what was the spinoff? That's what I was going to say. Yeah. Yeah. Green Acres is a totally underrated show. I think that show, I'm surprised that hasn't found a new audience with today's television viewers because it was so, it broke the fourth wall at the time. It was very self-referential. Right. It had crazy jokes that were almost like the Simpsons level of jokes. What a smart, weird, funny show, I think people read it off as like a dumb 60s show. And they like slept in the same bed too, right? They did, yeah. It was one of those things. There was tons of sex jokes. So Eddie Albert is one of my favorite actors of all time. He does angry better than anybody. Because that show is just him wanting to punch everyone. Yeah. Like to do these people like, "Oh, geez." And he'd be like, "God damn it, like he's just..." Every single thing he says translates to God damn it. Yeah. Like you bonehead. And what a great show. He was a war hero. He saved a whole ship of people in World War II. Hey Albert. Yeah. Fascinating guy. Crazy. Total badass. Uncompromised. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And just the crazy plots that fold in on themselves, Arnold Ziffle, of course, we got drafted into Vietnam, do you remember that episode? No. They drafted Arnold Ziffle and it ended up being this very subversive anti-war episode that was very funny. Yeah. Green Acres is well worth watching over and over again. Plus the great Mizzi theme song, who also did Adam's family theme. Every man watched Petticoat Junction for the same reason. Right. Red Acres was a much, much better show. Yeah. It was a lot funnier. I think that's a great choice. You didn't watch Jake and the Fatman. We're on the stage. So I want to go on Night Court because I watched Green Acres in the mornings. It was on its exam here. But this Night Court episode has a huge guest star. Harry helps Yakov. Okay. Okay. By Yakov Smirnoff. Sure. Extend the Visa for his loving father, Mack buys a lemon of a washer dryer, and Dan cuts a rug with some help from Roz. I love Night Court. Here's the thing. I've never seen Night Court. You've never seen Night Court? I know. Everyone. Yeah. I know. I should watch it. Did you watch a lot of sitcoms in the 80s? I mean, I was alive in 1980, starting in 1985. That's fine. So. Yeah. You know. Well, Night Court aired in syndication for years and years. Do you ever watch Barney Miller? No. Oh, you'd love Barney Miller. Really? Yeah. I got angry about that for some reason. Come on. I'm Barney Miller. But Barney Miller. You should watch Barney Miller. Okay. I recommend it. Well, I went on to do Night Court, which was a slightly sillier show. Actually, Night Court's almost like if you combine Barney Miller with green acres. All right. In tone. Also, Eddie Albert. Excellent hair. Mmm. Really good hair. I'm right. So, where are we? 930? Uh, yeah. Did you go with Donner Eats? No. I didn't. I... What are you right? Oh, I wrote, "Watch half an hour of Dear John question mark and then switch to quantum leap." So, Dear John was only a half hour show. Okay. It was based on a UK show called Dear John that was much, much sadder. Did you ever... Have you ever seen Dear John? No. What is this? It's like the AA. It's like a... It's about people who are middle-aged and are either widowed or have been left. Oh, my God. So, a Dear John letter. Right. And they have a group that meets twice a week called the one-to-one group. Oh, my God. And Judd Hirsch stars in it, who's the saddest man on television. I love him. And there was sort of a swinger played by Jerry Burns, who was also on Burn Notice and it's from Cambridge, Madison. Kirk, who was like the breakout star. The UK version was much, much sadder and darker. Of course. But this one was a pretty funny show. So, this is Afraid he's becoming a support group addict, John, played by Judd Hirsch, takes a Friday night off to wing it on his own. I kind of have a crush on Judd. Judd. He's a weird-looking guy. I know. He's great and ordinary people. Yeah. Yeah. So good. Are we a taxi fan? Um, ish, yeah. I watched the movie. He was on a show that I really wanted to like, called George and Leo, that was Bob Newhart and Judd Hirsch, playing old men that lived together, because their kids were married. One of their kids was played by Jason Bateman. Yeah. And it just didn't work. They live on Martha's Vineyard and it doesn't work. That's right. Judd Hirsch plays like an ex-Mobster. Oh, weird. Yeah. Very strange. A Jewish ex-Mobster. Yeah. But he's, I don't even think he's playing Jewish, which I mean, it's your. You got it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you watch Quantum Leap. I noticed most people who like Star Trek the next generation also like Quantum Leap. Yeah. Quantum Leap was like Star Trek the next generation for people who go to church. That's how I start. I don't know though. I mean, Scott Batcula was in a lot of dresses. It's very Jesus. It got overtly Jesusy later. Did it? Yeah. So they, so Quantum Leap at first they were just like, he's just doing good deeds. Right. But then around season four they're like, for Jesus, because on the Halloween episode he fights Satan. No. Yes. And then it became overtly God had his hand in things. God, see, I think I just was into the whole, it's kind of like, you know, like the Bugs Bunny thing, you know? It's like a. No. No. I don't know. Like there is something oddly satisfying about him just, you know what I mean? Wearing a dress. I guess. So Judd Hirschnadress. The ultimate. Boom. Okay. Judd Hirschnadress, who murders people, I think we just pitched a million dollar movie here. It's going to be huge in Florida. Oh my God. So aside from the, from the Scott Batcula dress action, did you watch Enterprise because he was, that wasn't, was it Enterprise that he was a Captain? No, I didn't. I was strictly next generation. I would watch some like of the, no, I didn't like any, I only like, maybe a couple of the original dress for the kids. Yeah. I love the 60s. Yeah. Which is great. I love it. Yeah. But yeah, I was only an external jury loyal. Did you ever see Lord of Illusions? No. Lord of Illusions is a movie from 1996 directed and written by Clive Barker, where Scott Batcula plays a private investigator who investigates supernatural things like murderers. Yeah. And it's about a cult serial killer. Oh, cool. I didn't like it. I think you'd like it. All right. Should go with it. Yep. Um, so we move on to Thursday night. Yep. Eight o'clock. What'd you go with? I did taxi. You know? Judd Hirsch. Yeah. So you're watching a rerun a taxi. Uh, you didn't go with Father Dowling Mysteries, which was a little, uh, offer you, because I thought, hey, you watching Matlock in Colombo, you go with Father Dowling Mysteries, but no, you went with a rerun of taxi. Yeah. This one, the cab he's volunteered to drive Alex to Miami to meet the daughter he hadn't seen in 15 years. So some Florida content there. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, that's a pretty sad episode. Uh, I would have gone with Cosby Show. This is after studying long and hard for an exam and still getting a lousy grade, Theo believes he may have a learning disability. Oh, God. That also sounds sad. So bum out week. We all believe Theo had a learning disability. Uh, eight thirty, what'd you go with? Um, I did a different world. I love a different world. Really? Yeah. No. Do you know what it is? Kind of. It was a spin off of Cosby Show. Okay. It was about a black college. Right. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's from Boston, which is hilarious. 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I think it's a great story. I want to see the caddy person just writing these. I just picture a guy doing that whole jeer on stage in a stand up clock in 1990. Who's designing this thing? Robocop. No, I think that's great. I'm going to disagree with that. Yeah, that should be a cheer. You got it. This is a cheer that's going to warm your heart. Cheers to Patrick Stewart, who plays Captain Jean-Luc Picard on the syndicated Star Trek, the next generation. The British-born Stewart's command of the Starship Enterprise is surpassed only by his Malefuus command of the mother tongue thanks to his training as a Shakespearean actor. He fills predecessor William Shatner's shoes with his convincing portrayal of a leader who's both authoritative and empathetic. Is that not convinced you can? I don't know. I might watch it now. I'm telling you. What a nerdy. This sounds like some fat kids high school report. Let me tell you about someone I admire. Patrick Stewart's command of the Starship Enterprise is surpassed only by his Malefuus command of the mother tongue like that is not who speaks like that. No. So you're agreeing with that cheer? Yeah. Yeah. Come on. And finally, William. CBS is getting all the jeers here after the Pat Sajak Robocop set. They're the old people. Yeah. CBS is 48 hours for turning soft having covered psychic phenomenon, a beauty pageant, and now Paul McCartney's world tour. First of all, way ahead of their time because everything would be soft. Also, they said it's something else was too hard and cold. So where they want. Yeah. Come on. It's messages to you guys. Exactly. So you disagree with almost all the jeers and you've agreed with both of the cheers. Yeah. Yeah. You know, positivity. Well, Elena Van, thank you so much for doing it. Thank you. And that was my episode with Lilian Davine. There's some pretty interesting stuff in there. Serial killers. Ahoy. Never was my thing, but apparently it was hers. So that's a fun episode. Thank you guys so much. Let's continue to email me at Ken and I can read with anything, any feedback, any questions, any corrections. I always love hearing from you guys or join our Facebook page, TV guidance counselor on the Tumblr page. There's usually a clips and some further discussion, so you can check that out there. And I think that you will enjoy being part of that community as I enjoy having you as a listener. So thank you so much. I'll see you again next week on TV guidance counselor.