TV Guidance Counselor
TV Guidance Counselor Episode 8: Bethany Van Delft
- Wait, you have a TV? - No, I didn't like to read the TV guide. Read the TV guide, don't need a TV. ♪ Install this planet ♪ ♪ Install this planet ♪ ♪ Install this planet ♪ (rock music) - Hello and welcome to TV Guidance Counselor. It's Wednesday, it's time to talk about old TV. My guest this week is comedian Bethany Van Delph, who's a good friend of mine, she is very funny. We had a great conversation. She picked a TV guide from the 1970s, which I was a little bit nervous about because it sort of predates my comfort level, but it ended up being one of my favorite episodes that we've recorded so far. So I think you'll find out a lot of information about New York in the 1970s, and Bethany puts me to absolute shame with her Prince knowledge. I am a huge Prince fan, but I'm very intimidated by Bethany's knowledge of Prince, so she puts me to shame in this. So there's some really interesting stuff in here, and it was a lot of fun, so please enjoy this week's episode with Bethany Van Delph. ♪ Tell me what you made me when I am ♪ ♪ People looking for you ♪ ♪ Tell me what you made me when I am ♪ - Bethany Van Delph, welcome. - Hi, thank you for having me. - Oh, you're quite welcome, thanks for doing it. So you picked a TV guide, and this is a first thus far, so this is our first '70s issue. And a little bit beyond my comfort zone, and that if the late '90s and pre-1980 are what it, I think it's gonna be fun. And it's from the week of October 27th, 1979, Halloween week, what drew you to this particular edition? - The cover has Muhammad Ali. - But not how we're used to seeing Muhammad Ali. People can take a look at this cover, it'll be posted on the Tumblr, but he is dressed as a very fancy gentleman. - Yeah, from probably the late 1800s. - Yes, this is a Victorian-era Muhammad Ali with a very nice top hat and a very elegant coat. I think he should have boxed dressed like this, 'cause he'd be like the gentleman boxer, it would have been very, very excellent. - It would have been amazing. - And this is also a New York edition where you grew up. - Yes, so it's probably looking at this edition, but I don't remember that cover at all, and the movie that he's in is "Freedom Road," which must be roots worked. Let's put Muhammad Ali in "Freedom Road." - Yes, what about, say, Victorian roots? (laughing) Which could be, I'm surprised they haven't done like a downtown Abbey, like a black edition of "Downton Abbey." - It'll come. - Yeah, I think we'll get it. We'll get it. We'll get there eventually. - When Tyler Perry evolves. - Yes, Tyler Perry is "Downton Abbey." Did you, no, you got TV Guide at this time. - Yes. - When you were growing up. - So I've noticed a weird phenomenon where some people that I'm friends with didn't do the TV Guide, they got the TV Week in the newspaper, and every single family with one exception, but this is hundreds of people that I've pulled. Everyone that got the TV Week, for some strange reason, had a toaster oven. - How would you even come up with asking somebody? - If no, because did you guys have a toaster? - We had a toaster oven. - It didn't have a toaster oven. - No, two slices. - In the TV Guide, yeah. - Right. - So I only noticed that because when I was growing up, when I went over people's houses, and I'd see the TV Week on their coffee table, first of all, I would be like, that's a real shame, they're not getting TV Guide. But then I would be like, wait a minute, all these people also have toaster ovens. I don't know why those two things are intrinsically linked, but this is good. - It might have been a budgetary thing. You know, like if you spend the money on TV Guide, then you-- - You can't afford the toaster oven. - You can't afford the toaster oven. - I get the toaster oven. But if you're making sound or budget choices, you can afford the toaster oven, 'cause I do know, I felt that I made it as an adult when I got my first toaster oven. - Toaster oven, you have the way you've moved on. - Yeah, I was like, I have an apartment, but I'm still kind of a kid, but I have a toaster oven now. - I had another theory that the time you truly become an adult is when you purchase your first couch, because I feel like everybody-- - I feel like instead of the hand me down. - Just get one somehow, and like the day you purchase a new couch is like, now I'm an adult. Some people, they're 40, some people, they're 18, but that's like the true test of when you become. - Right. - A true adult. So let's jump right into it. Saturday night, October 27th, 1979, eight o'clock, what'd you go with? - Soap factory disco. - Soap factory disco. I am unfamiliar with this. This was something you definitely watched? - Absolutely, yeah. This is, it's not like solid goal, 'cause you don't have the awesome dancers. - Okay. - Dark cell win. But it was the disco hits of the time performed live-ish. So people were dancing. So it was sort of like, sold for an American bandstand. - Sort of, yeah. Yeah. - And I don't know if this was New York centric or it was a national show, and this is Tana Gardner is spotlighted who I've never heard of. And songs include, "When You Touch Me." - Tana Gardner saying her first tip was called heartbeat. - Okay. - And it was huge in the skating scene. I think there were two skating scenes. I think there was a black skating scene and a white skating scene. So heartbeat was huge in the black skating scene. - Okay. - But "When You Touch Me" is, I was like really big at the discos, like Studio 54. - Gotcha, guys. - Garage in those kind of places. - See, I really enjoy that era. And I'm a huge roller skating fan, as you know. - Yes, I love it. - With roller reading, whatnot. But I am not familiar with either of these artists or this song. And now I feel like I need to go out and seek it out. - Oh, I will absolutely send it to you. - Okay. - Heartbeat. It makes me feel so-- - Oh, I do. - That was a really, yeah. So that's our first one. - Okay, that's our first one. - I'm not even done Johnson Heartbeat. - I don't know. Don't know the gun. - ♪ Heartbeat, I'm looking for a heart ♪ - It was in 1985. Don Johnson put out the first video album. It was an album we could only buy on VHS tape. And it was all videos for the entire album and Heartbeat was the lead single. - So Beyonce has Don Johnson. - You make me feel so-- - So, yes. - Yeah, okay. I didn't know that song. So you passed up the ropers. - I did because, you know, I'm not necessarily a spin-off kind of gal. - No, and that was a really bad spin-off. I, in hindsight, am not really a three's company fan. It was just so sleazy. - It was, I didn't, I don't think I even knew it was sleazy. It was just, I think I really loved how dumb everybody on that show was. - Yeah, everyone was definitely dumb. - Super dumb. And everything was kind of almost slapstick, the same setup every single time. Uh oh, Mr. Roper is gonna come and see Jack lives with us for a while. - On the wrong door. - Yes. - Yeah, and the roopers were probably my least favorite characters on that show. - Yeah, they weren't really fun. - This spin-off was not very popular. And this one, the antique clock Stanley gives Helen for their anniversary. Turns out to be stolen from the Brooks apartment. And the Brooks are played by Jeffrey Tambor and Patricia McCormick, Patty McCormick, who was the bad seed. - I don't even, and Jeffrey Tambor isn't he arrested developers? - Yes, yes, yes. - Yeah, so he's been in so many television shows for years and years and years. - Yeah, he's like that kind. - Hundreds, yeah. And you also passed up something that I think I would have watched this time. Something called Hollywood Teen, which sounds like an exploitation movie, but it's actually a magazine show. And this has guests Shirley Hemple, from what's happening. - Yeah, yeah. - Fantastics to have community as well. I don't remember her franks and beans are teen. And Singer, I never heard him describe this way, but Singer, Joey Travolta. - Joey Travolta. - Yes, the lost Travolta, brother. - Wow. - And singing group Tuxedo Junction, which I've also never heard of. - I feel like I've heard of Tuxedo Junction. That could just be Petico Junction. - Yeah, Petico Junction was a fantastic show. - I've heard of clothing Junction. So maybe that's what it's-- - Tuxedo Junction sounds pretty cool. Like I would definitely go to Tuxedo Junction, I think. - Do you don't think it sounds maybe like an acapella group? It's frightening me a little bit. - But see, now my frame of reference for acapella groups is all like these really lame ones that do like we do 90s hip-hop songs in acapella format. What, no, it's really cool. So they always have like bad punny names and stuff. - Yeah. - And so Tuxedo Junction to me just kind of sounds like a weird, I don't know, it sounds like a club of some sort. - I would definitely go to that club. - Yeah, and then I like that it just as an aside. It goes also, fashion show. Just throws that in there. It's also here, we get a fashion show. So "Sope Factory Disco" was a half hour show. What'd you go with at 8.30? - Sneak previews. - I watch sneak previews every single week. - Every single week. - I loved it. - And this is the superior sneak previews when it was Cisco and Ebert. So a lot of people forget that they started sneak previews and then they left I think after two seasons to go without the movies with Cisco and Ebert. But sneak previews continued with, I think, Michael Medved, who wrote the Golden Turkey Awards and as a complete asshole. - It's a little bad. - Yeah, he's a total right wing to a leg and also was, but was sort of responsible for the cult of Ed Wood. He sort of brought Ed Wood to the people by saying he was the worst director all time. Yeah, him and his brother wrote this movie, this book called "The Golden Turkey Awards." That was the worst movies of all time. And they dubbed Ed Wood the world's worst director. And that's kind of what brought him out of obscurity. - Oh, I didn't even realize. Like I saw the movie and I loved it, but I didn't realize that he was somebody that had re-emerged people that forgot about Ed Wood completely by the 70s. I think he died in mid 70s. He was just making like porn movies and no one, he just fell into obscurity. But the Medveds kind of brought him back out as the, you know, his 50s and 60s work was really entertaining. So I will give him credit for that, but not for his mustache or his right wing viewpoints. But this is still in Cisco and Ebert were doing this. And this is review of Bernardo Bertolucci's Luna, which I have not seen starring Joe Playborn. And Justice For All with Al Pacino. Also a movie I have not seen. - I have seen In Justice For All. And I would watch this show every week, but I was never allowed to see any of the movies practically. Like most of the movies I could not go see at this time. - Were your parents very strict about creating a movie? - Incredibly strict, yes. Super strict. - Even on television? - By this time, there was a little bit freer to watch what I wanted, but growing up, yes. Incredibly strict. Like I couldn't watch Popeye as it was violent. - Really? - Yes. - Popeye was too violent. - Popeye was too violent. I forget the three Stooges, I can never watch that. - Yeah, I've heard that one before, but not Popeye. - Yeah. I couldn't watch the Flintstones 'cause they were sexist. - Really? - Yes, but I did sneak and watch the Flintstones often. - What was sexist about the Flintstones? - I mean, would that wasn't about the honeymooners? I don't know. - The women weren't allowed to wear shoes. - I guess the sexiest thing. - I don't know what the difference between the honeymooners and the Flintstones. - But you weren't allowed to watch the honeymooners? - I could watch the honeymooners, but that's 'cause my mother watched it, 'cause I don't know if that was one of those. - Oh, so she liked it, so it was okay. - I think maybe it was one of those things. - How strange you like, look, this is fine in live action, but once it's a cartoon, there's no way. - Cartoon? - No, 'cause this is for your brain and you're gonna think this is okay. - Right. And you are not allowed to watch Popeye because we're afraid you're gonna eat spinach and punch people with beards. - Way too violent. - And it was just about violence. And somehow, I'm not sure how I sneaked Tom and Jerry in, maybe I might have snuck that in during high school. - Okay, you'd skip school to go home and watch Tom and Jerry? - I'd run home to make sure I was home and sorry. - Do you have like a bedtime or did they limit, you can only watch an hour of TV a day or anything like that, or was it just purely specific shows where off limits? - In the beginning, I had a bedtime and specific shows where off limits. However, I could watch, I could watch variety shows, which I believe were until 10. - Yeah, they would usually be like the nine to 10 slot or sometimes the 10 to 11. Like what, like Sonny and Cher? - Sonny and Cher. - Yeah, and laughing was my favorite. - The lander sisters. - Yeah, I don't even know. They got a tool to know that. - Yeah, I don't know. - No, they were later, they were like the early 80s. - Oh, really? - Wow, see, laughing is a show that I just can't get into. - Oh God, I loved it. But maybe, I mean, that's something that culture was still around. - Yeah, I think that's psychedelic, Gogo dancing kind of. - That wasn't what bothered me about it. - So, laughing had a huge resurgence in the late 80s when Nick at night started re-earring laughing and it hadn't aired for ages. - Oh yes. - And it had this big reputation as being like the subversive, crazy 60s sketch show. But when I watched it, it seemed like it was made by the man. Like I'm like, this is like old men have made a show like, let's make some, you know, kids like this shit. I don't know, yeah, that works. Like it didn't seem like it was a naturally occurring event. Like it seemed very manufactured. - It didn't seem really groovy. - Yeah, I was like, this isn't truly groovy. Well, also, I mean, they had Richard Nixon on it. Software to me. - I think about that now and that's so odd because yeah, they were supposed to be like really, you know, and fringe and that was really weird that he was on it. - It was like going to the roller disco to hear heartbeat and it's your grandparents playing the songs. Like you're like, I'm really enjoying this and then they come out of the DJ booth and it's your grandparents like, we got you. It was us the whole time. Like I always pictured as a kid that clip, they always show that clip of Nixon but they never show like the pre-clip and how they get into and out of that. They never show the context. So I always pictured it being like someone dancing and pulling off a mask and then having it be Nixon. - Right. - Like it's like, yeah, I've been fooled you on Richard Nixon, fantastic. - Him being on it also like remembering that he was actually on that show, made me feel Bill Clinton and Obama were less cool because he was the, one of the first presidents on TV, I thought it was like Bill Clinton who was first. - Yeah, with the launches or briefs and going on. - Yeah, okay, yes, yeah, but no. - No, not at all. - So Nixon was the original, cool, cool president. - They lost points a little bit. - So nine o'clock would you go with? - Loveboat, obviously. - Yeah, this is really the height of the boat, mania. And also bonus points, this episode of Loveboat Halloween episode, I've never, have you ever been on a cruise ship? - No. - Neither have I. - I'm a little afraid. - I have no interest in going on that. - Yeah, I have no interest and I'm just, I'm not really claustrophobic but I think I'm afraid to be trapped on a cruise ship. - Yeah, you can't get off. - Yeah, I don't like that at all. - I never heard anything good about cruise ships. - Someone told me that if you go on a cruise, you know, like say in Europe or something, you get to see a bunch of cities and then you can decide to turn, you'd like to go vacation or something. But beyond that, like it's more like a research trip, it seems, you know what I can do that online. - We have the travel channel for that. - That's what I've always felt about National Geographic and that kind of thing. I'm like, I don't actually want to go to Kilimanjaro. I'm really happy watching this movie about Kilimanjaro. - Yeah, exactly. - Thank you for going. - That's why we have a good time. - Yeah, it's just a boat. Like I don't really do boats in general. I don't like boats, I don't like going on boats. I'm afraid of sea creatures, with giant sea creatures. - Yes, I won't go far offshore. - No, no, no. - I remember one of the worst, I don't know if it's the worst, one of the worst things I've ever done. There's probably worst things in this, although I was acquitted for those. But I was on vacation on Cape Cod with a friend of mine and his family and we were waiting through this sort of water looking for tadpoles or something. I don't know what we're doing. We were like nine or 10. And I stepped in front of him and an eel kind of shot out. Like I must have annoyed this eel. And my first instinct, without thinking, I grabbed him, threw him on the eel and ran away. So when I look back, he was like wrestling with this eel. And that was myself preservation was like, fuck you. So I don't know what I would do in a cruise ship if you know like a giant squid or something attack. - Yeah, I don't know. - So this particular episode is the Halloween Crews. Passengers include two brothers, one crippled, which I don't think you're allowed to say. - I don't think so. - It seems very odd back then. Mainstream TV guide goes, yeah, crippled. That's what we do. - But they're progressive for featuring, for featuring someone crippled in a storyline. Yes, that's pretty progressive. - And they, 'cause before that, they had cripple cruise, which was just a cruise only for crippled people. - Like they had handicapped access back then. So that was pretty, you're like, look at us. - Love boat, love. - Love you, yeah. - Very progressive. - Love everyone. - So one crippled the other overprotective, a mother played by Carolyn Jones, who was on Adam's family. - She was-- - Yes, the Adam's family. - With two spoiled daughters and a neglected stepdaughter and two sportscasters, whose on-air camaraderie stops when the cameras do. Nothing about that sounds inherently Halloweenish, unless you're afraid of people in wheelchairs. - But also, are there Halloween themed cruise? I wonder if it was like a haunted ship. I might go on that. - If it stayed in the harbor, I might go on that. - Yeah, yeah, I mean-- - If it went to Transylvania, which is probably lame-locked and you can't get to, but I wouldn't take that. - No, it didn't. Dracula get to England on a boat in the book? - He probably was putting a cart with a horse. - A horse cart boat. - To the edge. - The horse. - They call it, they call it a shore. - They call it a shore. - Yeah, so I would definitely go with a love boat as well based on the description, but I wanted to note that on Channel 21, there's a show called Brooklyn College, which I hoped was a sitcom because that sounds great, but it seems to be a magazine show, and the description is a discussion of Italian wine at college in Brooklyn, a bunch of winos. So that was eight to 10, but you had a special notation on Saturday night, 'cause there were some late night shows that you also watched every week. - Right, which is incredible that I did get to stay up that late, but somehow I got a pass for Saturday night live. - Would your parents watch this with you? - No. - Were they asleep? - They, not necessarily sleep, but not with me. - Did you just have one TV in the house? - At this time, no, my mom had a TV in her room. - Okay. - But we didn't have TVs in our room. - Right, right, right, right. - We had one TV in the living room. - But that sort of freed up the living room TV if she didn't want to watch what you were watching, she might go on to her room and watch whatever. - And she's probably out dancing at this time. - It's a heartbeat. - On Saturday night, yeah. - Would she go out every Saturday night? - Yeah, pretty much. - She used to go out a lot. - Nice. - And where in New York did you go? - In the Bronx. - In the Bronx, yeah? - Yeah, so she'd go into like Manhattan and the full disco age regala. - And I'd watch her, and my aunt and my sister get dressed up in eight. - And it's picturing Saturday night fever. I know that that's probably not accurate, but this is my frame of reference. - Did you ever see our last dance, Donna Summer? - Yes. - Okay, so it's more like that. - Okay, more like that. - More like that. - More like that. - More like that. - Less like the Warriors. - This will always inform my parenting decisions, but I'm getting dressed, you know, to go out at night. I would just sit like starry-eyed dreaming about the day that I got to go to the disco. - Nice one. - Like I've never, I was never like, I'm gonna be a doctor. I was like, I'm gonna go to the disco. - I wanna be a disco dancer. - I think Tony saved those shoes for me so I could wear them when I go to the disco. - So how upset were you when disco died? - Disco died before I could get into a nightclub. - You're like, what the hell? - Yeah. - But then it was probably the freestyle era in that-- - Yes, which was-- - That area. - Was not like, it wasn't at all like the disco era, but I was the right age to take on freestyle as my own musical choice. - See, that's my thing more than the disco, but that looks, although there's never, there's not really any sort of freestyle movies. Like there were disco movies. They bypassed it completely. - Because hip hop like rap came out almost at the same time. - There was a more intriguing culture for the cinema. And there was a ton of early '80s rap movies. So you had the break-in rap-in. - Yeah, rap-in, wild style, that was documentary. - Wild style was really good. And then you have a crush groove, which is probably the citizen cane of New York rap movies. - Back then, when that was all first emerging, kids would show up at like a school, like a school yard. - Yeah. - I don't speak English anymore. With giant speakers and decks and everything, and just like a party would break out. - And they'd plug into the lamppost. - Pretty. - And they'd be like stick up kids, like every day of school. - They'd be like that. - Yeah, yeah. - They'd be like a battery thing. No, before on DMC, more like, like crush groove. - Okay. - Good dannas, wrapped around their head. - More like African ball bottom. - Yes, exactly. And everybody would just like hand, and it was not a lot of violence, really. Maybe it's just where I was, but I was in Hell's Kitchen visiting my cousins at the time. - If there's not a lot of violence in Hell's Kitchen, I'm guessing it's not anywhere. - I'm going with that, these parties were just not violent. It was just super fun. - Late '70s, early '80s, New York is absolutely terrifying to me because I only know what it was like for movies that were not accurate. So I'm talking about like, basket case, warriors, and so for years, I'm like, oh, this is what new, wild style, which is sort of post-apocalyptic presentation of the Bronx, or the movie Escape from the Bronx. - Right, that's so specific to one area of the Bronx. Like the Bronx has, it's, some of it is green and has houses with-- - But that's not interesting in a movie. - Right, even though it's not at all. The kids were living, opening his gate, and going by to both of his parents, and then going to DJ is not interesting. - No, that's interesting to me now. But I guess movie producers are like, no, we need to have people on fire. - Like, we're going to continue to focus on this 10 block radius at the Bronx. - If you've ever seen the documentary, 1977, The Coolest Year in Hell, it's about New York in the summer of 1977, where the blackouts and the son of Sam, and it's, I think it was produced for VH1, but it's awesome, I'll make you a copy of it. It's really, really great, but they cover sort of the punk rock scene at the time, the DJ battles, and that movie really made me go for the first time, 'cause, weirdly, a lot of stuff that I love came out of New York at that time, but for some reason I wasn't like, it seems really terrifying in the old 42nd Street, and all that stuff, but that documentary made me go, I kind of wish I could have gone and hung it up there. That sounds pretty cool. - I really think you would have loved it, 'cause I mean, just like now, they portrayed the violence, they just made it a lot bigger than it was. Like, they used to walk around, my cousins lived at 49th and 9th, so we used to walk around 42nd Street in Times Square. - At least nine, yeah, like 12 years old, 13 years old, we'd walk around there, and-- - Did you used to go to the movie theaters there, 'cause that stuff fascinates me. - We did, I think we were more into walking around and finding music and stuff like that, yeah, but the movie theaters there, you could still smoke anywhere. - Right. - They narrowed it down to a smoking section, which is hilarious, 'cause it wasn't a smoking bubble, or a thing, but-- - Yeah, if there's one person smoking, the whole place-- - The whole place is smoking, right, but yeah, and we'd walk by Studio 54, or NC, everybody online, and nobody, you know, this could also be terrible parenting, but no one was overly terrified that we'd get into trouble, we're just gonna go walk around and look at stuff. - But everybody did that, yeah, I mean, why would you be, I guess if you were living in New York at the time, like, you wouldn't, if you were afraid of that stuff, you wouldn't live there. - Right. - If you were a parent, you would just be like, we're moving to Connecticut. - Yeah, and I think you'd grow up not knowing what not to do. Like, don't go over to that guy going, hey, hey, hey, just stay in the-- - Right, stand in the middle. - I don't remember that from Facts of Life when Tootie took the train into the city and befriended a prostitute late at night at a diner, who was her age. I said, you know what, don't go with that guy, probably a pimp. Thank you, Tootie, for teaching me. Also, taught me not to make sculptures of Tito Jackson, because someone will think it's a bomb, and then you'll be disappointed, and your artwork will be destroyed. - Did you have you sent Tootie a thank you, Tootie? - I really should-- - You're really, you've been-- - You taught me so, I didn't become a teen prostitute or a sculptress because of you, thank you so much. - Thank you, Tootie. And the weird thing was, I used to hang out in Boston at the time, obviously, you know, it was a little bit later, but I mean, I used to hang out in the combat zone, which is our sort of version of Times Square was called here, which was by Chinatown, which was really weird. The history of that day, the city decided, they used to be a place called Scully Square, which is where all the sailors went to get tattoos and prostitutes and watch strippers and fight. And the city decided they wanted that to make City Hall, so they go, "We're very zoned." - Yes, like Bowdoin station. - Yes, yes, yes, they go, "We've rezoned." So all that is now only allowed in Chinatown. So the Chinese people were like, "Ah, God." They're like, "Yeah, yeah, fuck you." So they just stuffed it all on this two block radius of Chinatown, and that became known as the combat zone. I used to go hang out there because there was still some old movie theaters. I used to go to the Shaw Brothers Theater that showed Chinese movies, which I didn't understand if they're in Chinese, but they had really cool fight scenes. And I was like 10, 11 years old. - Yeah. - And that probably wasn't any more or less dangerous than going into Times Square in 1980. - No, when we moved here, we hung out down there, too. - Yeah. - There was a theater called the Publix. - Yes. - Remember that? - Yep. - They showed a lot of vampire movies. - Yes, absolutely. - Karate movies and vampire movies. So they're all the time. - Sometimes karate vampire movies like the Legend of the Seven Golden Brothers. (laughing) So Sunday night, Dolor's night. What have you gone with at eight o'clock? - More commendy. - I couldn't get into more commendating. I don't know why. And I like-- - I honestly don't know why I could. - Were you a huge fan? - As a huge fan of Morgan Mindy. And then when he left, and you know, as he evolved as a stand up figure, - Yes. - I liked him less, honestly. But I loved Morgan Mindy, it was so silly. - So we went in the alternate paths here. Now this is a Halloween episode of Morgan Mindy. And I remember this episode. It's a haunted house becomes a fun house when way out ghosts possess more. Now this makes this episode sound a lot more fun than it is. So Mindy's old house is up for sale. And in this Halloween themed story, it seems to take on a ghostly personality of its own scaring off prospective buyers. Tom Posten has a cameo on this, of later New Heart fame. And so this episode sounds fun. You're like, "Hannen, how's crazy?" But it's actually a really dramatic episode. And the ghost that possesses morgue is either Mindy's dead mother, or dead father, or grandfather, it's our family. It's really morgue. And then morgue has this conversation with her at the end that's all like, "I love you and I forgive you." Like it's really weird. - Really weirdness. - So I feel like kids would have been lulled into three days before Halloween. Oh, Morgan Mindy, crazy, and it's like Halloween ghosts. And then it's like about this dead father figure thing that's very... - It's like someone in power at the network was like, "I'm going to expose the true meaning "of how to leave." - Yes, yes. - Which is forgiving people that have passed on. It's a kind of a real bum out of an episode. So knowing what I know now, I would not watch that episode because it's kind of a scary bum out of an episode. So I would have gone with The Lawrence Wilk Show. - You know, I was torn. I was torn, but I know the truth is, like now I'd watch The Lawrence Wilk Show for sure. But I was torn, and the truth is back then, I would have put on Morgan Mindy. And if it was such a bummer, I would have definitely switched to Lawrence Wilk. - Well, yes. - 'Cause Lawrence Wilk is also a Halloween episode. And they call it a salute to Halloween. So already I'm on board. Lawrence Wilk, polka Halloween, like that's right up my alley. That's exactly, that's like someone said, we've designed a Halloween specialty, okay. Lawrence Wilk, polka. He does Jeepers Creepers, spooky, in the Hall of the Mountain King. And this one seems a little bit less Halloweeny riders in the sky. At first I was like, riders in the storm? 'Cause I would pay good mind if you see Lawrence Wilk do that. - Oh my goodness. - The pre-prime time he missed out on the Halloween special, the Halloween that almost wasn't. - Yeah. - Have you ever seen that? - No, but pre-prime time, there was a lot of stuff I would have been watching. - So this was a Halloween special that aired, first aired in '78, I believe, and then aired almost every year. For a few years after that, it's very disco. It's very not good, it's live action. It starts Judd Hirsch as Dracula. So already, I don't know if you're on board here. - So awesome. - And it also tries to introduce a weird Halloween tradition that I've never heard before or since from this thing, that in order for Halloween to happen, the witch has to jump over the moon on her broomstick. So this is the conceit of this special. - Yeah, you know. - And then the witch decides, you know, I just don't really feel like doing it anymore, and they can't have Halloween. So Dracula and the monsters have to convince her to do it. - That is, that's so awesome. I'm going to find it and make a part of me Halloween. - I can make a copy for you. - Yes, oh my God, that sounds so awesome. It never works when you try to change the, like I don't think, in my opinion, of course. - You can't add one. - It's why I like saga, like you can't add stuff. Vampires can't be in the sun. So you can't suddenly have a vampire in Seattle or whatever, because it's cloudy. - Right. - Like I don't, right away, don't buy it. - Yeah. - When Jamie always says, so you don't, you don't buy the vampires living in the daytime because vampires live at night. - You're a traditionalist. - Yeah. - Vampires live at night. - And by the vampire, I was living at night. - That's fine, I'm at no problem. - But I cannot suspend my disbelief enough to watch the highlights. - They're going to discos. They're getting all dolled up to go listen to heartbeat, even though they don't have one. - You ever heard the disco vampire song "Soul Dracula"? - Oh, God, no. - It's by an Italian disco group. 'Cause I'm a big fan of the genre known as a telo disco, which was a-- - Georgia Marauder. - Georgia Marauder. - Yes, I love Georgia Marauder. - Oh, you would love this. I'll copy of this as well. It was a group called Hot blood. And they only put out one EP called "Soul Dracula." And it's the best, it's just like, "Soul Dracula." (humming "Soul Dracula") It's great. I'll copy, I'll make you a CD in that. I think you would enjoy it. - I'm going to have a treasure of truth. - Yeah, you're going to live here with quite a lot of media. So nine o'clock, what'd you go with? Oh, eight thirty, I'm sorry, I forgot eight thirty. - So eight thirty-- - Not a lot of choices. - I felt like I was going to switch to "Learn, Swell," but then I saw "Blazing Saddles" was on. - So you watch the half hour. - Probably watch a little bit, yeah. - Classic movie. - I have to. - For some reason, I remember "Blazing Saddles" being on network TV just all the time. - Yes. - It seems like it was on every day. - I feel like it was. And that's why I would switch to that for a half hour, 'cause it's familiar, comfortable, I'm reading "Fermanic Show." - Right. So nine o'clock, what'd you go with? - Dean Martin. - Really? - Variety. Always variety. - Just 'cause it's variety. - Yes. - Did you like Dean Martin? - Um, I didn't have a special affinity form, but I just always gravitate towards variety. Always. I don't know why. - Which is good, I mean, it's a mixed bag, if there's something you don't like, you can get a little variety. I never liked the rat pack. I have a real, which people are surprised by, 'cause they're like, you like to wear suits and you're like, and I'm like, no, they're a bunch of-- - Teachments. - They're everything wrong with America. - Yeah, they really were. - They're awful, and I didn't really like them. - I didn't understand either the revival of that stuff in the '90s, but of all the rat pack people that being said, I probably dislike Dean Martin the least. - Like, he was a glorified drunk, really. - He was, he seemed like-- - They were drunk, and I'm, you know, just, if that were your uncle-- - Which it was. - Your family would basically be like, oh, Uncle Dean's coming. - Yeah, but he seemed like the most like, I don't know, I'm gonna pretend to everybody, I'm a scumbag. - Right. - And everyone else was like, no, no, it was just like, yeah, he seems pretty upfront about it. - Yeah. - So, I think I respected him just a little bit more because of that. There was a great Saturday Night Live sketch on an episode that Tom Hanks hosted where it was Dean Martin's Global Warming Christmas. Have you ever seen that one? - Oh, no. - Oh, it's, if you like the graduate, it's very good. But this episode, we have Lena Horne, who also had a variety show, I think. - Lena Horne. - The Andrews Sisters and Don Rickles. - So, I laughed at Don Rickles, but I didn't really understand what he was doing. - You didn't get the jokes. - I didn't even get how mean it was, but I would laugh at him 'cause he's really weird. - He's walking. - Yeah, he's crazy looking. And the Andrews Sisters, I did like, and I'm Lena Horne, I love it, so. - Yeah, I like Lena Horne, so I might've tuned to that as well. There's not a lot of choices here at 9 o'clock, where it is written a religion show. But the Alice was on, which I probably would've watched, even though I didn't like that show, I still watched it. - I did, I remember watching it also, but I don't remember liking it. And I think maybe I would watch it when there were no other choices. - Yeah, 'cause you couldn't turn the TV off. - Right. - No, no, no, no, but that's crazy. - But that's crazy. - You turn the TV off and you power, you dive and power it down and down. - It's sense and tear, it's calm. And so, since you picked an hour show, you didn't need to do anything at 9.30, but I definitely would've gone with the Jeffersons. - Yes. - All of the Jeffersons. This one is a great one that I distinctly remember. Louise is cornered, I always like to think called her Louise and TV guy. They didn't bother to say Louise. - Easy. - Yeah, they were like, "No, we're respectful "of her true name, Louise." - Right. - And I've read Jeffersons, X-one descriptions of episodes before, and I'm like, "Who the hell is Louise?" No one ever called her Louise on the show, but it's like Louise is cornered in her apartment by the killer rabbit, second of two parts. - 'Cause a killer rabbit absolutely requires two parts. - Yes, it does. - It does. - It does, by far. And who would've thought that Jeffersons would be influenced by Monty Python? So, we forgot to mention, Saturday at Lab on Saturday Night you watched, but you also mentioned that you would watch Don Kirschner's rock concert as well. - Yeah, so that's really late. So now my dad's in bed, my mom's not home yet, and I'm still up. - Were you waiting for her or were you just taking advantage of the fact that she was out? - Taking advantage and Don Kirschner's music. And that was the closest thing to going to a concert without being allowed to go to a concert. - Did you watch the Midnight Special? - Yes. - Did you watch both? - Okay, which did you prefer? - Don Kirschner's at that time. - Really? - I think now I'd prefer Midnight Special, but back then I prefer Don Kirschner. - Wolfman Jack. - I never understood the phenomenon that was Wolfman Jack. He seemed to be everywhere. - And at that time, that just, to me, that's what celebrity was. Like I didn't ever know what he did, but I was like, well, you were just born to be famous. - Yeah. - And that's why he's famous. - Well, he had those good looks. (laughing) - And boys. - Yeah. - Wolfman Jack. - It was a great episode of Galactica 80, which was the modern time set battle star in Galactica show. It's a two-parter Halloween episode, so it would have been the Halloween after the one we're talking about now. - Halloween glass, because of the circle. - Yes, it takes place on Earth in New York City in 1980, and a Cylon goes to a Halloween party with Wolfman Jack. - Oh. - And they don't know that it's an alien, they think it's a costume, and it's called Night of the Cylons. It's a two-parter episode. - Wow. - It's in New York at that time, Wolfman Jack. - He is the man. I mean, obviously, you'd get into Cylon New from where, from once he came, that Wolfman Jack is how you get into a party. - Well, the Cylon plan is to get to a radio broadcast tower and broadcast their message to the world, so that's why they try to find a big celebrity radio personality. - Right. - A really awful two-hour episode, but highly entertaining. I recommend anyone on a Halloween night, you watch the two-part night of the Cylons with Wolfman Jack. - I hate Don Kirschner as a human being. He seems like a real piece of shit. - I honestly don't know anything about him. I do know that he brought Prince to Boston for the first time. - Yes, I'm sure he is. - And that's it. And I don't know anything about him beyond him. - So he was one of the producers behind The Monkeys. - Oh, really? - Yes, he was one of the people that fabricated The Monkeys, and he's the guy that really used to butt heads with Mike Nessmith, who's one of my personal heroes, and Mike Nessmith punched a hole in a wall and said to Don Kirschner, that should have been your fucking face. And then quit The Monkeys. And Don Kirschner's like, Michael wanted to do country in the western songs, and you know, we could go fucking, it's like he's a real. So then Don Kirschner was like, I was tired of dealing with these people in The Monkeys, so he created the Archie's. - Oh my goodness. - Yes, Archie's, because he was like, they're not even real, they're fucking cartoons, and I can do whatever I want. Like, he's that kind of person. He was like, I'm the father here. - Yeah, just an awful human being. - Oh, I had no idea. There's no, the same year as this magazine, I saw Prince for the first time. - In New York. - In Boston. - Oh, in Boston. - Yeah, so we may have been, this is already after high school. Like, after high school started, so we were already here by then, probably. - So you moved to, where did you see Prince? - At the Paradise. - Oh, nice. - When it was still in the little club, yep. And the tickets were $3.50. - This is one for you, it just came out, right? - This is the next album. So it's Prince. - Okay. - Self-titled. And for you, it was a big hit. I wanna be your lover, it's now a big hit. - Nice. - A comedian opened. - A comedian opened. - A comedian? - I have no idea, and I've Googled it, and I can't find out. But I do remember, at that tender age, my mother brought me to the concert. - So you went with your mother? - 'Cause my mother didn't know anything about Prince. - Okay. - So I just knew that I had this, like, musical crush. - How did you first hear about him on the radio? - In school, I'd heard for you, but I wasn't, there's something like that. - 'Cause I wasn't a big, that wasn't a big radio hit at that time. I'm still kind of... - It was on Black Stations Z, they played it. But I don't like that, yeah. That did it, did it, did it. Like, I wasn't into, like, did it. - Once you went a little electoral, though. - Yeah. But a girl brought a picture to class of him. - Oh, so you were assault him? - Oh, yes. - His little mustache. - His afro, his mustache. - Oh, yeah. - And then "I Wanna Be Your Lover" came out and I liked it. And I didn't like it straighten hair as much, but I did get that album, and then I just loved it. Because up until then, I mostly listened to my mom's music. - Right. - Which is salsa, and Santana, and classic rock, and that kind of thing, and R&B, and so. And then I was just starting to like my own music, which would be heartbeat and that kind of thing. - Yeah, yeah. - But Prince, like, there was, like, punk rock sounding music. - Oh, yeah. - So he was the doorway to me loving punk rock. Like, I'd never heard it before that. - His guitar stuff was awesome. - So he really, that album opened the door to all kinds of musical tastes for me. - 'Cause if the self-titled "It's 1999" was the next record, or controversy. - Controversy. - Controversy, yeah. - Controversy, yeah. - And that was the heavy rock one. - Yeah. - And that had some really weird songs on there. - Yep. - Like "Sister." - And that's when my father forbid me to like Prince. - I think that. - Which is a fatherly thing. - As much as I love Prince, I'm gonna say I bet you definitely want it. - Yeah, that seems like the appropriate move for that point. - I think I'll word it different to my daughter. Like, you can't have, you can't listen to Prince. - Yeah. - But I wouldn't say you can't like Prince 'cause that was kind of hilarious. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, 'cause I just pined in my room now. - Yeah, you can't dictate your children's emotions. - You can dictate their actions, but not their emotions. - I didn't let you room and go. I'll find you again. - It's our roommate with Juliette. It is forbidden. Did you have a poster of Prince in your high school locker? - I had buttons on my- - You remember that? - Yeah, I remember that. - Oh, I still have some of those Prince buttons. - Yeah, I have hundreds. I had a denim jacket with hundreds of Prince buttons. I wear lace gloves everywhere. - Nice. - My bedroom, I will just have to show you a picture. I can explain it. It's so completely insane that if I were my parents, I would have done something. I would have put me away for a little while or something. - Like, I could send you to a home to try and break you off this printing? - Like every new thing he did, I added it to my room. - I don't think you were alone there. I mean, I think there was a lot of people who did that. - Who were crazy. - Oh, absolutely. - So in the movie "Purple Rain" here, there was a little stuffed dolls on a swing in his room. I got that, I would go to strawberries downtown and beg for everything in the window. So I had the gigantic 10 foot styrofoam for it. - So you had all the promotional, strawberries was a record chain here in the Boston area, which is sadly no longer with us, but what a great record chain that was. - You would get all the promo stuff. - Everything. - I used to do that at video stores and movie theaters. I'd get the posters and stuff, but wow, that Prince promo stuff would sell for a pretty penny this day. - Yes. And my father threw it all out because yeah, 'cause he said, "I need a, I need this space." Like, you gotta get your stuff out of the house. They live in a 10 Victorian. - You gotta get this stuff out of the house. - It's no room for it. - You know what, if you don't pick it up, I'm throwing it out. - Prince is only a tiny person. It couldn't be that big. - Couldn't have been that big. - Do you like a lot of the other Minneapolis stuff? Like, kind of the Prince Projé stuff or the-- - I loved everything at the time. I mean, I love the time and the family. - You know what else? - To add, to pile onto the media things, I'll give you there's a new three-disc compilation called Purple Snow that's from 1970 to '85, all the Minneapolis sounds. - It's all of them. - Yeah, and it's a really good box set. It's very good. - Does it, have you ever heard Mad House 16? - Yes. - I actually loved that. - That's awesome. - And it was like, is it really? - Yeah, there's some very obscure stuff. It's very good. I'll let you know, let you borrow. So Monday night, we started eight o'clock the saddest night of the week as you've gone to school, we've gone to work. You need to be taken away from your troubles. What did you go on that Monday night of the day? - White shadow, which is weird. - Shadow. - So I watched that show a lot. - And this was a show about a white coach coaching an all black team, basketball team? - Yes. - And so I believe the guy who played the coach is from this area, from the Boston area. I think so. My dad saw him in a play where he was, he's playing like Mark Twain or something. - Really? - And he was so excited to see someone that was on the white shadow. He couldn't believe that he got to see someone on the white shadow. - I don't remember a single thing about that show beyond what you just said, but I watched it all the time. And so it leads me to believe it had a crush on someone on the show. And it was probably the lead guy. - So this is a, after a fire destroys his family's apartment, Coolidge played by Byron Stewart, except Coach Reeves offered to put him up until alternative housing can be found. - Yeah, I don't think it was funny. And usually I almost always watched funny or entertaining shows. So I don't know why I watched that, I honestly don't. - I honestly could tell you I've never seen a single episode of the white shadow ever. But I have heard of it and I'm familiar with it, but having never watched it. So I would have gone with Little House in the Prairie. I didn't like Little House in the Prairie. - But it was the thing to do. - It was the thing to do and it's a Halloween episode. So in this particular episode, it's a tongue cheek adventure that turns Albert and Lara into war painted Indians. They're costumed this way for a Halloween party, which they rest for an afternoon nap. But after reading a book about Indian escapades, Albert dreams that he's mistaken for the son of a bellicose chief and has tapped to command the surrounding tribes in an uprising against Walnut Grove. - And so there you go. Now I know why I didn't watch Little House in the Prairie because my mother probably told us it was racist and that was one of the things it could be. - It was racist. - Yeah. - So that's probably on our list of things we could not watch. - I would have watched it. It sounded like a bait and switch though in that it would have been like Halloween and I'm like, "Indian stuff, boring." - Jackalancers. - Yeah, come on. Now there was a special on at eight o'clock, a documentary called Angel Death. - I probably would watch that now. But at this point, I didn't know I'm supposed to pick what I'd watch now. - Hosted by Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. - Oh, awesome. - They narrate a report on the drug PCP and then in quotes and parentheses and quotes, T.P. guide writes, "Angel Death." Which has become a staple of the drug culture despite unpredictable effects that can sometimes be fatal, included actual case histories. I like that Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. - Yeah. - Huge stars were like, we get to do this documentary. - Yeah, wonder if there are connections to that one. - I also like that people, they felt the need to write that it's called Angel Death. Like someone's like, "P.C.P." I'm not watching that. Oh, it's Angel Death. Okay, I know that, I'll watch that, no problem. So nine o'clock, what'd you go with? - Obviously, the cover of the magazine, "Freedom Road." - "Freedom Road." - I'm gonna leave. - I'm gonna leave her. - It looks like a butterfly and stings like a slave. - Absolutely. We all know, and this is just part one of the Muhammad Ali starring, "Freedom Road." So here's the description of "Freedom Road." Muhammad Ali plays an emancipated slave fighting for civil rights in this TV movie. It's that after the Civil War and the sprawling Carwell Plantation in rural South Carolina, the birthplace of an illiterate runaway named Gideon Jackson, who served as a union soldier and has now come home. Muhammad Ali, not a very successful acting career. - I, and that is the role that they give him. Like they didn't put him in "The Fish at Save Pittsburgh," or "Last Dance," they put him in a serious role, and a lead role. Like that movie, that's just really funny. I'd be watching it for sure. - And you've never seen it. - I've never seen it. - I'm intrigued by it. It sounds interesting. I think I wouldn't have watched it 'cause it sounded kind of depressing. So I probably would have gone with the first half hour of "Merve Griffin." And you know, I would have watched nowadays "Mysteries of the Gods," which is-- - "Mysteries of the Gods" sounds pretty fantastic. - Because it's speculation. - Yes. So it was on HBO, and this was when HBO was not very prominent. This is "Mysteries of the Gods," William Shatner narrates this documentary-style investigation into the possibility of extraterrestrial visitors to Earth's past. - And it's not a documentary. It's speculation. - It's speculation. - This was a huge phenomenon in the late '70s. It's all centered around this book that came out called "Chariots of the Gods." - Yes. - And this book speculated that ancient aliens had talked with the Aztecs and the Egyptians and gotten them to build the pyramids, and my dad is convinced that "Chariots of the Gods" is true. - Does he watch the series eight? - He does, I do too. And he used to buy me, he had, when I was growing up, we had all the books 'cause there was a whole series of books, and he would just swear up and down that this was true, this was all 100% true we would watch in search of, and all those sorts of shows. - Oh, I would have watched this. - I would have watched this, but I probably would have felt like it wouldn't have taught me anything, I didn't already know. And I should also mention the reason I would have watched Merv Griffith is because number one, I love the portrayal of him on Saturday night. I'm in on STV by, oh my God, I'm blanking here. - Not Martin Short. - No, not Martin Short from "Ghostbusters." - Oh my God, why am I blanking? - I don't know. - Glasses. - This is how I live now to blanking. - Wow, my brain has, this is really bad. - Rick Moran. - Rick Moran, okay. - But also David Copperfield was on it, and I'm obsessed with magician's magic. So, and at 9.30, I would have gone with WKRP in Cincinnati. - I remember watching that, but I don't remember liking it, but I remember watching it. - It's a great show, I really like this one. This is Jennifer Lonnie Anderson, who I'm slightly obsessed with, falls for a handsome repairman looking for a loan while less pleading poverty looks for a raise. It doesn't sound very exciting by the description, but-- - There's conflict. - Yeah, there's some conflict there. So, Tuesday, eight o'clock, what'd you go with? - "The Bell of New York." - Because I couldn't, yeah. - "The Bell of New York." This is a 1952 movie with Fred Astaire, and a slim costume tale about a New York playboy and a mission worker. Doesn't sound very interesting. - I love, love, love, Fred Astaire, man. - Really? - Yeah, do you still like Fred Astaire? - I don't know how I'd feel about watching a Fred Astaire movie now, but back then, if Fred Astaire was on, Trump'd everything else. - So, I would've got one. - Except cartoons. - Casper's Halloween. - Yes. - Halloween special, pre-emps regular programming. Casper the family ghost horrifies his ghostly friends when he goes trick-or-treating instead of haunting on the spirit world's biggest night of the year. Fine, fine, fine, Christmas, and Halloween special, and then was followed by another Halloween special called "Witch's Night Out" that was a Canadian production. Very strange, Gilda Radner supplies the voice of a washed-up witch who, on Halloween, suddenly feels needed again. Two youngsters and their babysitter have asked her to transform them into monsters. Catherine O'Hara does a voice in this. I actually have a DVD I made of this actual broadcast. - That actually sounds, that sounded great. - It's very, very '70s. - But I don't know why I didn't like Casper. I would watch any cartoon over anything else, but I didn't really like Casper, I don't know why. - Casper was sort of a light. I mean, all those Harvey cartoons were, you know, like "Wendy the Witch" and "Hot Stuff" and that kind of stuff. - Yes. - No, I should mention that. - Ritchie, little Ritchie, Ritchie, Ritchie, Ritchie, Ritchie, Ritchie, Ritchie, Ritchie. - Ritchie, Ritchie, Ritchie, Ritchie, Ritchie, Ritchie. - There's a very odd phenomenon that TV got in the '70s had in that they would have little facts on the pages, which they didn't need to do later 'cause there was more shows. But on this particular page, this fact is, it's his vital statistics. - Vital statistics, I love it. - Helen Keller, whose life was commemorated this month by the NBC drama "The Miracle Worker," was born one century ago, come next June 27th. (laughing) Why, why is that in there? It has nothing to do with anything on October 30th, 1979. But hey, there we go. So 8.30, as I said, which is night out, you're still watching this Fred Astaire movie. At nine o'clock, I probably would have gone with "Three's Company," even though I didn't really enjoy the show. - Yeah, I switched to "Three's Company" at nine o'clock. - Oh, did you see? - You didn't see the end of the-- - No, I've probably seen the end of "Bell of New York." - And this sounds like a very special "Three's Company." This is, "The Trio" allows a homeless, elderly man to stay at their apartment until he can find lodgings. But four is a crowd when the guy brings home Furlley's prize roses in gratitude. (laughing) - Who was your-- - What a quandary. - Who was your favorite "Three's Company" character? - It was always a-- I know this sounds really crazy. I was always a toss-up between Chrissy and Jack. - So you didn't like Joyce do it? She's my favorite. - Is she really? - Yeah, Janet's my favorite. - I felt like she was the killjoy of the group. I think Chrissy always wanted to have fun and wear hot pants and Jack's super funny. - Yeah. - And Chrissy always wanted to-- - She was like the parent. - Yeah. - I think that's why I liked about her. - You're like, she has-- - ruins everyone's good time, I'm gonna do it. 9.30 would you go with? - Taxi. - Yeah, no question, taxi, great show. This one is a Bobby and Tony episode, which not my two favorite character. But Bobby and Tony jeopardize their friendship by competing for the same woman. - Yeah, that sounds like kind of a dull one, but-- - Yeah, but I'd still watch it. I'm sure it was good. Wednesday night, eight o'clock, midweek, what'd you go with? - I'd probably flip back and forth between Bugs Bunny and real people. So this was Bugs Bunny's howl-oween special, which I've also seen. This is new animation and excerpts from movie cartoons tell how Bugs falls into the clutches of an evil witch hazel while trick-or-treating. So this was a phenomenon that Warner Brothers started in the '70s and into the '80s, where they would do some very poor animation-- - Yes. - To frame old cartoons around the specific theme. And it made it all the more obvious when they would do this because you would see it right-- - You could do good processing, yeah. - And it would be just sort of off-model, terrible, but I loved it. I would watch it every single time. And then at 8.30 they paired it with Raggedy and the pumpkin who couldn't smile. - I would have watched Raggedy and-- - So real people that night is, this is Halloween night, by the way, I should mention Wednesday, October 21st. - Yeah, the night, and I would have turned off real people to watch Raggedy and-- - Now, real people was a Halloween special. - Yes. - And this was rare. This was rare. So scheduled with Halloween as the theme, highlighted segments look at a city with the largest population of mystics, the official witch of Salem Mass, a haunted house, a high-rise funeral home, and a man who conducts tours for famous Hollywood graves. Also, reviewed a household robot, a water skiing squirrel, a water skiing squirrel, an opera house in the Mojave Desert, and an audition for clowns, which weirdly sounds like the most terrifying thing they've-- - What would you say it like that, an audition for clowns? - That's the only way you can say it. How else could you say it couldn't be like, an audition for clowns, an audition for clowns? There's no other way you could say it, but an audition for clowns, you need the dramatic pause in there. Now, this would, the official witch of Salem is Laurie Cabot. - Yes. - And she was on TV a lot this time. - There was-- - And wasn't witches of Eastwick, or one of the movies that came out that was supposed to be a good movie about witches, wasn't one of them supposed to be based on Laurie Cabot? - I don't know if it was based on her, I'm sure she managed to build some money out of them as a consultant. - A consultant, okay, maybe that's it. - I remember there's an episode of In Search Of from 1978 where they go to the Salem witches, and they show Laurie Cabot trying to do a spell to change the weather. And Leonard Nimoy's kind of like, mmm, okay. It's like really bold, but I used to see her all the time. She was a huge celebrity to me growing up with a song around TV, and she owned and still owns, I think this little magic store. And so you could go in there and she would be in there, like selling magic wands, and I would just be like, "Wow, you've met Leonard Nimoy." (laughing) She's like, "I'm a witch." Now, I will mention too that on Halloween night, although I would be tempted by real people, I would be tempted by Bugs Bunny, Channel 9 was showing one of my favorite movies, The Last Man on Earth, starring Vincent Price, which is based on one of my favorite books I am legend. What a great Halloween movie to watch. - Yes. - Probably would have definitely gone into there. Now 8.30, what'd you go with? You go with Raggedy in? - Raggedy in, yep. Pumpkin who couldn't smile. - I would. - Classic Halloween special. 9 o'clock, what'd you go with? - Charlie's Angels, and I'd probably now watch Conquest. - Conquest I'm not familiar with. So this was a documentary, and this says, "How children learn from birth through the preschool years in this program first aired in 1971. Producer writer Nicholas Noxon goes to research centers where child psychologists conduct experiments on the learning process. - Yeah, and I would love to see that now because how much has changed? - Yeah, they're probably doing like the craziest things. - Right, they've discovered that giving them dog food makes them very like, yeah, some very odd thing. So I definitely probably would have gone with different strokes at this time. Charlie's Angels, I felt like I would get in trouble for watching 'cause of the jiggle factor. - Wow, yes. - And I don't know if Charlie's Angels ever did a Halloween episode, but I kind of wish that they did. This is not a Halloween episode. It's a bereaved father hires the Angels to prove the innocence of his daughter, who was killed at the scene of an armed robbery while she was furloughed from prison. And this is the Cheryl Laddier. Sarri, Sally Kirkland has a role in this episode. Different strokes this night as drummond, disrespectful. They don't call him Mr. Drummond. - Drummond. - They just say drummond. A drummond is completing legalities to adopt Arnold and Willis. Junkman, Jethro L. Simpson, who gets a whole name, some for some reason, shows up claiming to be cousin Jethro an armed with a long lost will and testament making the boys heirs to a small fortune. First of two parts, a lot of two parses. - Yes, yeah. - A lot of two parses. 930, you're watching Charlie's Angels for the full hour. I would have been forced to watch Hello Larry, which was a spin-off of different strokes. - Yeah. - Awful, awful, awful show. - Right, not into this. - The most harrowing aspect of the-- - Wait, Hello Larry's spin-off of different strokes at three of the company. - It was a different strokes. - Okay, all right. - It wasn't Larry, the Regal Beagle guy. This is a friend of Mr. Drummond's. It was a backdoor pilot, two-parter. I believe that Thanksgiving episode from the previous year that they dumbed Hello Larry out, 'cause different strokes had a couple of spin-offs. Facts of life being the most famous. So Hello Larry, Kim Richards was in this particular episode who was huge at the time and is big again for being a drugged out Beverly Hills mom. - She can be Richards, oh my goodness. - She's in the real housewives of Beverly. - Yes, that's crazy. - She's an escape from which mountain she was in a lot of, she's in Tough Turf. - Nope, I've never seen that. Tough Turf is from '84 and it stars, oh my God, why am I, James Spader. - Wow. - As the lead, it's supposed to be likable. Kim Richards is in it. So this is the most harrowing aspects of being a father to a girl are brought home to Larry when his 13-year-old tomboy, Kim Richards, finally heeds his pleas for more lady-like manners and pursuits for her first high school dance. And are you ready for it? First of two parts. Why would that more than a two-parter? - I love two-parters back then. - Kim Richards was also the sister on a show called James at 15. - I remember James at 15. - I loved that show. - Took place in Boston, she played the younger sister. I think it was 1977, I wanna say. - I loved that show. - Great show. - What are the non-committees that I watched? - Yeah, I mean, there were some funny moments in it, but it was a really good show. Served as an inspiration for Dawson's Creek, weirdly. - I guess I can see that. And you said escape from which mountain? - Escape from which mountain? - They loved, boy actor was Ike Eisenman. I know that because my best friend at the time was completely in love with him. - So you're in love with Prince, she's in love with Ike Eisenman, yes. - Well, he's gone on to many things. We all know Ike Eisenman's fine adult roles. And now I do wanna mention that it's outside of primetime, but HBO at 10 o'clock on Halloween was showing Phantasm, which is a fucking awesome movie. - Oh my God. - Pardon my swear. - Yes, yeah, yeah. Yep. - Fantastic movie, 1979, it had just come out that year. So this was, it was real. - That's your pin, right? - No, Pete had his hell rays of fences with a tall man. - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. - It was the most wonderful '70s horror movie, so 1979. It has nudity and graphic violence, imaginative but nightmarish horror yarn, centering on a sinister funeral home and cemetery. What a great thing to watch on Halloween night, 1979. So Thursday, all Saints Day, the Dia de los Muertos. What are you watching, eight o'clock? - I feel like back then that would've watched Love at First Bite. - Okay, love First Bite. - But now-- - With disco, Dracula movie. - Yes, and that's George Hamilton. - George Hamilton? - Love him as being-- - Ironically known for his suntans playing Dracula. - That's the best man forever. But I think now I might watch Buck Rogers just to see, just to remember it and why I used to watch it. - I love Buck Rogers. We stayed at the Bonaventure Hotel in LA just because it was featured in Buck Rogers partially. Erin Gray, who lifelong thrush on Erin Gray, they do have a Halloween episode of Buck Rogers about a space vampire. And I will say that episode is terrifying. This is not the one they barely-- - The space vampire. - Oh yes, the space vampire episode of Buck Rogers is infamous for terrorizing children for decades. - Really? - Yes. But that is not this episode. This is a woman imprisoned in an extraterrestrial jail, holds the key to a security leak, Buck's mission, spring her. - Spring her. - Spring her. - So I probably would have gone with this as well. Laverne and Shirley was on, which was a show I could never really get into. - I never really watched Happy Days or any other shows. - No, I didn't either. But I should mention, and you pointed this out on the page between the Thursday primetime lineups. In TV, guys, there's a full page ad for Frank Frisetta, posters, and T-shirts. - It's so amazing, I can't believe that's in there. - You can't get more 70s than that. - No, at all. - And there's a great to continue to add on to the media library of things that at home I've given you. There's a great documentary called Painting with Fire about Frank Frisetta's life and art. And later, Winnie and A Stroke can head to reteach himself on a painting with his left hand. It's a fantastic documentary. It's one of my favorite documentaries, so check it out. 8.30, I would go on with Benson. You're still watching Love at First Bite. - Yes. - Susan St. James is in Love at First Bite, which was later on Kate now. I love Susan St. James. Great soundtrack Love at First Bite as well. - I love that movie, I probably still love it. - Did you ever see the disco vampire movie Noctorina? - No, Noctorina. - Noctorina, Noctorina. - Noctorina. - It's, that has a good soundtrack as well. That's also a lot of vampire disco. - Well, what would you do? I mean, if you're 400 years old, the disco comes around and you're awake. - Yeah. - Noctorina's a movie that is pretty obscure, and it's a vampire disco movie, but every single used record store I've ever been to in my entire life always has the Noctorina soundtrack. - You do, 'cause everybody buys it and hates it. - I don't know, it's just, the soundtrack was huge, but the movie obscure and never came out on video, very hard to find, but the soundtrack, you can get it for a penny pretty much anywhere. - I'll tell you, the Prince equivalent of that would be under the cherry moon. - Yes. - You find that eternal in every single, single, single. - There's some decent stuff. - These are the temples on under the cherry moon, isn't it? - No, that's on one of the-- - Oh, this is on Graffiti Bridge. - Under the cherry moon is-- - What was the single one under the cherry moon? - Another hole in my head. - Okay. - You need another one. - Under the cherry moon's a black and white one. - Yeah, but I love the soundtrack, but the movie was pretty bad, though. It's Kristen Scott-Tongue. - Kristen Scott-Tongue, for her debut. - For her first movie. - Prince discovered, yes. - Yes, he did, yes he did. - Yeah, it takes place on the French Riviera. - Yeah. - And Christopher Tracy is Prince, and he's kind of like a hustler. - Yeah, not a great film. - Benson, I would have gone with it. - But it wasn't black and white. - It wasn't black and white. - So he did try. - Already. - He tried, yes. - Yes, he really did try. Didn't he direct that? - Yes. - Yes. - Yes. - He tried. - Don't wanna say about that the better. In this Benson episode, cold, hunger, frazzled nerves, and short tempers are the order of the day when the governor and his staff are snowbound in a remote mountain lodge. This is a good one. This is a classic episode where everyone's trapped in a snowbound lodge, which sounds like I'm being facetious, but actually is the plot for about 25 different sitcoms. - I completely believe that. - Now, that's one I would think would be the first of two parts. There's a classic two-parter, not a prom. You're trapped in a snowbound ski lounge. Let's do a two-parter, and I'm like, no, we can handle this in 25 minutes. That's not a problem. Nine o'clock, would you go with, or are you still watching? - Alright, Miller. - Now, Barney Miller is one of my all-time favorite shows. - Yes. - Hands down with the best sitcoms of all time. Also, one of the things that made me terrified of New York City. - That's so funny. That made me, I felt proud to be. - That Barney Miller took a look. - Barney Miller. - It just seemed so dirty and scary, and they were so nonchalant about how like these criminals, but I love Hellinden. Like, I just wanted him to be my grandfather. - I love Hellinden. And I had a huge crush on Wojo. - Really? - I can't even explain that to you. - I like the dumb guy. - I think I do. - I like Steve Laddisburg. I have a non-sexual crush on him, 'cause he just, I just want to be around him and listen to him talk, and he was my favorite. I actually preferred Barney Miller after fish left, which a lot of people didn't. But I enjoyed Steve Laddisburg more than he would go in. - More than he would. - But also love. - You know, it's completely different. It's totally different, but I love them both definitely. - Which was a good move, because a lot of shows, when a prominent cast member would leave, they would replace them with kind of a knockoff or like a less good version of that person, which Charles Angels is obviously like classic. - They just plug in, plug 'em in. - Yeah. - But the vibe totally changed on Barney Miller, and it was different and just as good. - I loved that show. - This episode, a broken heater chills everyone, but a man who claims he's about to spontaneously combust and a bookseller who's hot over a strip joint that disrupts the calm of the nearby shop. This is a very good episode. I distinctly remember this episode. This is a de-trick episode with Steve Laddisburg and James Cromwell's in this episode, who played the dad and Revenge of the Nerds. He's in the babe movies and I like all kinds of potential. This is a really good episode. There really isn't a bad episode of Barney Miller. I think Barney Miller is, if anyone wants to write comedy, she'd watch Barney Miller. - Every character was well-developed, funny, like they had a very funny but unique voice. - It all comes from the characters because it's a show with five guys sitting in one room. That's it. It's like a play every week. And they don't have crazy antics. There's no cutaways. I can only think of one Barney Miller episode that had scenes. Well, there's a, there's the Bactopilot for fish, so that one I'm not counting. But scenes where they weren't, that took place outside of that precinct room. And what a, just an awesome show, awesome show. Also led to Night Court. There was in the realm of Barney Miller that created Night Court, which is the other show that made me think that's what New York is like. - I liked Night Court too. - But it's a good show. - It was good, yeah. - So yeah, Barney Miller had no question. 9.30, did you go with soap? - Soap, of course. - Which Benson had spun off from, at this point. - Oh, okay. - Yep. - Eunice admits she's tiring of Dutch. Tim and Corine realize they're incompatible, and Mary questions her own sanity when Bert returns from space and tries to explain his unearthly predicament. This was a tail end of soap. - It's a terrorist, right? - Hellmon. - Hellmon. - Play Monon, who's the boss later. - Okay, and Donald Moffat. - Yep, and Richard Mulligan. - Okay. - And so this was sort of towards the end of soap when it got really crazy. So this was the ventriloquist dummy, or-- - Yes, okay. - And it's kind of by aliens, as they said. - Which happens on soap operas. - Yeah, happens on soap operas. Aliens were huge in 1979. Close Encounters, The Charries of the God stuff. Earlier in this issue, which was not a primetime show that I mentioned, there's an in search of about aliens, it was just the zeitgeist was aliens for some reason. Alien came out in 1979, which my mother saw when she was pregnant with me, which was probably not a good idea. But yeah, soap I loved. Did you watch soap every week? - Every week. - That seems like a show I feel like your parents probably would have been like, soap is not appropriate for you. - I'm honestly not sure how I got to watch some of these things, but I feel like, at the end of the week, it was probably, there wasn't a lot of people watching me. - Okay, so they're giving up by Thursday. - Yeah, I think Thursday, and then definitely Friday and Saturday was on my own. - So Friday night, what'd you go with? - Battle of the network stars. - That girl, Aaron Gray, is on this one. - Aaron Gray, and she did well with us. And your boy, Max Gal is on it, who was Wojil. - Yeah, so this is ABC, this was huge. All three networks, we're getting together to do a battle of the network stars, which I think the last one they did was 1985. Surprised they don't do anymore. - But the culture, I believe, the culture we're in now spins off from battle of the network stars. - Do you think this laid the groundwork for everything it is? - This and celebrity. What is the one with Bert Convoy, any hosts a drawing? - Oh, we lose a draw. - Yeah, so Condi, I think so. Maybe that's after battle, but battle of the network stars, I think lays the groundwork for celebrity culture the way it is today. - I think that's, you could easily make that argument, and I don't think you would be wrong at all. So this one is ABC, CBS, and NBC square off on the athletic field as celebrities compete in swimming and running events, football, baseball, dunk, kayak racing, obstacle course competition, and a tug-of-war, Dick Van Patton, Ed Asner, and Robert Conrad are team captains because they're old, so they don't have to do those things. Howard Kossell and Billy Crystal are the host. Other competitors include Christy McNichol, Judy Norton Taylor, Sarah Purcell, Joanna Cassidy, who was in Blade Runner later, Alan Williams, Aaron Gray, Max Gayle, Howard Hesseman, Pat Wayne, Robert Hayes, Katherine Lee Scott, and Greg Evagan. - Greg Evagan. - He was later on my two dads. He was a huge heartthrob at that time. Yeah, I think this is definitely the Friday night move. Now, normally I would watch The Incredible Hulk, which was also on at this time. - I might have watched The Incredible Hulk. - The Incredible Hulk was great. This particular episode has, I guess, the parents by L.Q. Jones, who was a real cowboy stuntman who directed one of my favorite adaptions of a Harlan Ellison book, which was Don Johnson's debut movie called The Boy and His Dog. L.Q. Jones wrote and directed the movie. He was a really weird career that guys had. But this is David Stint as a rodeo medic and vaulted him with a self-destructive cowpoke and his brother, who turns to Russellin to pay off his gambling debts. - So, I would watch That Hulk 'cause that's what my brother would be watching. A little brother, but also because Bill Bixby was on it and he is the courtship of Eddie's father. - The courtship of Eddie's father. And that was a show that I have no idea what I loved 'cause it was quiet and it was not for kids. - It was a sweet show. Oh, Mr. Eddie's father. - Oh, Mr. Eddie's father. - Brendan Cruz, speaking of punk rock, Brendan Cruz, who played Eddie, later was in several punk rock bands. - Was he really? - Yes, and I think Dr. No was one of them, but he became the singer for the dead Kennedys after Jell-O-B after it was sued and they got the suit. - He was? - He was, so this was in the mid to late '90s. - Now, this is a good thing about the internet 'cause I had no way of knowing that. - Yes, Brendan Cruz. - I would have loved the dead Kennedys or I would have picked them up much sooner if I knew-- - Yes, if you knew that Brendan Cruz replaced the world. - No, Eddie was there. - And so, I went to see them at the time 'cause this was the height of my teenage punk rock love and I kept calling him Mr. Eddie's father and no one I grew up with knew what Brendan's father was and he was getting really pissed off. I was like 17, I was an asshole. And they're like, why do you keep saying that to that guy and why is he getting so mad about it? 'Cause I'm like, oh, Mr. Eddie's father. Which is, you know, and they were like, is it 'cause you're, are you being racist? And I'm like, well, maybe not probably. - Probably, but it's a better reference than that. - Yeah, yeah, it's not just full of racism. So yeah, two hours battle of network stars. That's your whole Friday night right there. - Yeah, and I went to write something else. I scribbled it out though 'cause I realized battle of network stars is two hours, so I wouldn't have to watch anything. - It's on all night. Now, I would have been tempted at 9 p.m. on Showtime to watch the movie hardcore. - I was gonna say I would definitely have tried to sneak that in and then probably started crying at some point. - Have you ever seen it? - I changed it. No, I have not, but back then it didn't try to see movies that my parents didn't want me to see and I snuck into colligula once. - Oh, please. - And I, yeah. I ended up crying about half, like in a half hour in. - It's the sex that terrified me scared. - Just crying. - And it was just so, I cried now right now. I was like, well, there you go, I'll never have sex. - Yeah, well, I think that then your parents probably were like, it was like that thing where like, you wanna smoke, smoke a whole pack and you'll punch it. - That's how you get your girl to stay a virgin. It's so colligula, 16. - Well, hardcore is a really, it's a very good movie, but it's very, very grim. And the plot of it is George C. Scott's daughter is runaway. - Oh, I know, yeah. - There is a scene in this movie. George C. Scott, I've never seen him be more badass than in this movie. He's trying to hunt down his daughter, who he thinks has been kidnapped and put into the pornography industry. And he poses as a pornography, a pornography, as a director with a fake mustache in this gold chains. And he does auditions to try and meet people who may have met his daughter. - Right. - And this guy who he recognizes as being in one of the films where there comes in for the audition and George C. Scott just beats the shit out of him with a telephone with this fake mustache on. And the fake mustache starts coming off while he's just beating this guy with a phone. - And so 70's. - And to me, that's the most 70's disturbing. - That's so disturbing. And 70's. - George C. Scott beating a porno actor with a phone as a fake mustache fall off his face. - See that detail, you know, when actors talk about choices, that choice is terrifying. - Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And not to ruin the movie for everybody, 'cause it's a good movie, you should see it if you can handle it, that it has one of the most grim endings I've ever seen where he finally finds his daughter. And he's like, I'm here to rescue you. You've been kidnapped and made to make pornography. And she's like, no, no, I ran away to do this. I'm into it. - Right. - And that's how it ends. And I can't believe it in the poster for this movie. I cannot believe it was real. I don't know if you remember the poster for this movie. It's a picture of George C. Scott, a black and white picture. And he's got his hands on his head, like clearly upset. - Yes. - And it just says, the tagline is, oh my God, that's my daughter. - Yeah. - And then he just says hardcore. - All right. - Who would be in the theater and be like, yeah, that looks pretty good. Let's go see. Like that is in no way. - I remember everyone talking about it. Like my parents and their friends and everybody and how awful it was and how grim and everything. And that was what made me feel like I should try to see it. - You wanted to see it. But it's, I mean, it is what adults were talking about it. - They're talking about it. - So it seems like an adult thing you wanna say. - I would have cried, I'm sure. - I think it was made to make you cry. It was, I mean, come on. Like what a grim movie. So Bethany, unfortunately, that is the end of the week. We've ended our TV guide week with Friday, as it always does. And this predates TV guides cheering and jeering. So this week, TV guide is not cheered or jeered. So I would put it to you to come up with a cheer and a cheer based on this week of television. What do you have? - I will cheer battle of the network stars 'cause that's so special. - Slam dunk. - Special, yep, no hands down. And this might seem unfair, but having not seen it, I think I have to do your freedom road. - Yeah, I-- - I think I need to see it to confirm that, but I'm pretty sure-- - That seems jeer worthy. It seems jeer worthy. Yeah, I don't, do you think there's a scene in freedom road where he boxes somebody? - I think, yeah, there's probably a scene where he says, "I'm not a slave," or, you know, like does, yeah, yeah. Like, I don't think-- - I'll try to hunt down freedom road. Maybe we'll have a screening some night. We'll have everyone over and do a pizza freedom road screening. - Only if we watch 12 years of slave as well. - Let's spread a rumor that 12 years of slave is a remake of freedom road. Let's say, so people will spread that out on the internet and see if people can believe it. - Oh my God, we'll get death threats. - We probably will, we probably will. Or we just have a resurgence in love for freedom road. There'll be people who like snobs, like hipster snobs, who are like, "Yeah, well, the original's better. "Freedom road's a lot better movie. "It's not that mom and Ellie's a lot better actor." - Fantastic. Bethany, thank you for doing the show. - Thank you for having me. This is such a fantastic, fantastic format, I love it. - Thank you, you're excited. (rock music) - Well, there you go. That was Bethany Van Delf. I hope you learned a lot about New York in the 1970s. Weirdly, I didn't ask Bethany about her time as a fashion model, which is shocking to me because I'm fascinated by that world and we'll have to have Bethany back on where I can bother her about some stories on that. Bethany has a million great stories, so I'll definitely have her back on the show. I really enjoyed talking to her. You can check her out at Bethanyvandelf.com. I'll put a link up on the Tumblr page and you can check her out and you will enjoy her comedy. So thanks again. Please email me at kennedycanread.com. Go on iTunes, rate us, subscribe, review, and make sure you are on the lookout for some more special edition episodes like our Saturday morning special edition with Sean Sullivan and lots of other fun stuff coming up. And thanks again for listening. This is TV Guidance Counselor. I'm Ken Reeve. (upbeat rock music) ♪ Celebrate your daddy ♪ ♪ What ♪ ♪ Celebrate your daddy ♪ - How is he looking? - No. I'd like to read the TV guide. Read the TV guide. Don't need a genius.