TV Guidance Counselor
TV Guidance Counselor Episode 6: Giulia Rozzi
Please. You have a TV? No. I just like to read the TV guide. Read the TV guide. Don't need a TV. Hello, and welcome to the TV channel. Help the podcast. My name is Ken Reed and this is my show. Thank you so much for checking out the show, however you got here, and I think you are going to really enjoy this episode. My guest this week is comedian Julia Rosie. You may have seen her on Chelsea lately. She also has an excellent one-woman show called Bad Bride that you're gonna want to check out if you haven't checked it out already. Now Julia is based out in New York, but she grew up in the Boston area and her and I have discussed television in the past. And I've always suspected based on those conversations that we had a very similar background and a very similar relationship with television growing up. But once we started talking on this episode, it ended up being a lot deeper and a lot more similar than I had initially thought. So here it is, TV guidance counselor Julia Rosie. Hello and welcome to TV guidance counselor. I am Ken Reed, the TV guidance counselor, and my guest this week, Ms. Julia Rosie. Welcome. Hello. How are you? I'm great. How are you? Good. Thank you. Welcome to my home. I love your home. Oh, thank you so much. It's a great home for those of you who can't You've never been in it. It has rooms in a ceiling. Yeah, there's so much nostalgic stuff. There's a lot of whole things. Oh, thank you. Yeah, if people like old things, if there's people who like I only want new things, this is not the place for them. I haven't I don't like those people. Yeah, no, I don't need it. So you chose a TV guide from the week of December 9th, 1989. Yes. What drew you to this particular issue? Well, the cover is the 80s in review because it was gonna be oh my goodness, 1990 soon. Which seemed very exciting at the time. So exciting. Yeah, I mean, I couldn't really fathom I think it was 9 that it would be 1990 which seemed very futuristic. Oh, yeah, it was definitely robots We're gonna rule the world and also I chose it because it was December, which meant there would probably be hopefully a lot of Christmas fish. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. So let's just go right into it eight o'clock Saturday night, December 9th. What'd you go with? I mean, no brainer. 8 p.m. 2 to 7. Yes. Although this was difficult though because this is when Mr. Belvedere was still on Saturday night. So I would have had a real difficult time picking between the two shows. I agree. However, I wanted to just stick with the one channel. Yes, because it's sort of a package deal if you watch 227 you kind of have to watch it. Amen. Yeah, I mean, it's like a double feature. You can't just go for the first half. And so this episode of 227, when Calvin wants to quit school and join the army, Lester dons his drill sergeant hat and puts him through his paces at a mock boot camp. I distinctly remember this episode. Totally remember this episode. As a huge fan of Lester, Helle Williams is a great actor. He got fired in the 70s from the Jimmy Stewart show. For racist reasons. Because they were racist against him. Yeah, Jimmy, the quote I've heard from Jimmy Stewart is, "Why is this N-word on my show?" And I'm like, "Who wouldn't like Helle Williams? He seems like a good guy." Pretty much every episode of 227 boils down to Lester trying to eat his dinner and Mary calls him a problem. Oh, my. Yeah, he's like, "Ah, I just want to eat my dinner, Mary." He's the most reasonable character on television at the time. But it's amazing. And this is how you and I sort of started chatting a little bit outside of the podcast about old television. I wrote on line on Twitter and Facebook. I couldn't believe how many people don't know what 227 is or Amen. It was, well, there's a weird thing where when we were growing up, this will be our old people talk. We had a great working knowledge of the whole 50 years of television that came before us. Because everything was in reruns, so we saw a lot of stuff, but also stuff was referenced a lot more. So like Saturday Night Live and SCTV and all these sketch shows would parody stuff from all the way back to the 50s. And there wasn't that much to choose from. Yeah. And it was on, and you kind of had to watch what was on. You couldn't time shift like you could now. So we had a better working knowledge, I think, of stuff that came before us. And I think the generation after us, not even that younger, like maybe even five years younger than us, they don't know anything that's more than 10 years old because it's never on TV anymore. And they don't seek it out. I think you can watch 227 in its entirety on Hulu right now, but they're not going to look it up. They should. Anyone listening 227. It was based on a play, which I've never seen. It was based on a play set in Washington DC, and they bought this play. Marla Gibbs bought this play and made it into 227, which I had no knowledge of till recently that it was a play. The 227 outside reminded me of Sesame Street. It was very Sesame Street. For some reason, I didn't know it took place in DC until like two years ago. How did I not realize it was DC? It was very Sesame Street, which is supposed to take place in Brooklyn, which I had no idea to believe that. Yeah, it was set in like a weird Brooklyn, as was kids incorporated, which was more like a post-apocalyptic Brooklyn. Interesting. Yeah. So I missed a go over to that night. This was sort of the tail end of Mr. Belvedere. It was the second to last season when Bryce Beckham was a little bit older, and it was like a little bit less. This episode, George, Bob Yooka, the most unlikable person on television, goes on a spending spree with counterfeit money that Wesley made in Prince Shop. Meanwhile, Kevin is spooked by a strange presence in his apartment. Oh, I remember this episode. My favorite, Mr. Belvedere. I always love Kevin in stories, because they would get really ridiculous. Do you remember the episode where he became Amish, because he liked it. Yes. I mean, the Amish falls into television shows much anymore. So yeah, I think I would have gone with TCH7, because this was sort of the bad part of Mr. Belvedere. Yeah. Normally, on Saturday night, my go-to is always cops, but TCH7 wins out. A-30, you went with A-Men. I mean, how could you not? Well, I'll tell you how you could not. What did I miss? Who's the boss spinoff, Living Dolls, which was about teenage models. And it was Leah Remini before I even knew really who she was. Yeah, it was really into that show. I didn't like who's the boss, but loved Living Dolls, but I was obsessed with the world of modeling. I used to watch House of Style all the time. I liked House of Style. I loved who's the boss. Was not a fan of Living Dolls. Yeah. We're very obviously in this respect. It was a great show, and Holly Berry was on it. It was the first thing she ever did, which I don't think she keeps on a resume these days. No. It was so, for people who don't remember Living Dolls, which is probably everybody, they spun off and lose the boss. It was a listen, Milano's Samantha's best friend from back in Brooklyn, yet again, she was like this tough street girl and was pretty because she was Leah Remini, and the modeling company recruited her, and spun off his modeling. So that was on. Amen that night was the conclusion of a two-parter. I mean, so I had to watch it. Yeah, you couldn't sure as shit watched at the week before. Right, because you wouldn't have slept that night if you didn't know how this concluded. Fearing, he's lost, though, to Sergeant Burke, played by Richard Roundtree, who was shafted. I actually wrote my only produced credit of a thing that I wrote was called The Treasures of Black Cinema, and it was a DVD series of all black cast movies from the 1930s, hosted by Richard Roundtree, and I wrote the Richard Roundtree intros. Amazing. So I put words in Chef's mouth. Love it. He's guest starring in this episode of Amen. Reverend Gregory puts up a fight when she comes home on a weekend pass with the Sergeant Intel. That sounds like a pretty heavy episode. Sherman Helmsley might have shed some tears in there. Probably. Definitely danced. Oh yeah, there was dancing in every episode. Yeah, I would like to see Sherman Helmsley just put Ellen to shame in his dancing. Sherman Helmsley is like the black version of my dad. Really? Kind of. How is your dad? Is your dad also a white version of Sherman Helmsley, because I don't think the two necessarily go together? My dad has a little bit of Sherman Helmsley in a little bit of the Sanford and Son Red Fox. Oh, Red Fox, really? Yeah, he's probably a little bit, but also maybe because my dad loves to do Elizabeth. Oh, he's doing the heart attack. Like when we get the bill at a restaurant and I mean, I'm talking about like Chinese food buffet or like Bertucci's, like not any. Is that his joke that he always does? He's serious. Yeah, it's like, it's a big one. And then the problem is, is if you laugh, he'll then keep doing it because he's like, I got you. It's just a card. It's him. But then if you don't laugh, he'll keep doing it until you laugh. So you can't win. You can't win. So you just don't go out to dinner with him. Do you just ignore your father? So when you said he's like Sherman Helmsley, I pictured a dad in a three-piece suit with a male batter pattern baldness. No, my dad probably wears my old hyper-color shirts. Oh, really? Has that the same jacket for years? Is it a starter jacket or a membership? No, no. It's like something you got to like, Anne and Hope, which is a regional, original reference. Anne and Hope was the first discount store chain in America. And the guy who started, this won't be interesting to anybody, but I happen to know this, the guy who started Walmart, he moved to Rhode Island for six months and took notes on Anne and Hope to find out how to do it. And Anne and Hope was the first store that did self-service shopping. So before that, you had to go either have a person who worked there with you to get the stuff, or it was all behind the counter. And Anne and Hope decided, you know, we'll let the people get their own clothes and then we'll just check them out. And that was this guy's innovation in the retail world. Anne and Hope. So, Anne and Hope, I just remember the Anne and Hope in Watertown. Yeah, there was the Anne and Hope in the Arsenal Mall in Watertown, which is now at Home Depot. But there was about 20 locations. There's still one left in Rhode Island by the airport in Providence. But most of them closed in the year 2000 or so. I used to go to the one on the North Shore Mall, the Liberty Tree Mall. And it was really envious of they had this neon sign that in neon said novelties. It was where they sold like t-shirts without fucking stuff. Oh, that's so great. Yeah. So, you know, my dad is in a three-piece suit wearing, because he's pretty jazzy. He likes to dance and just sort of that gruff like, "I love you. I don't want to talk about it." Like, kind of like, "I got it out there and it's done." Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of feelings. Yeah. I've acknowledged them and we can move on. Yeah, stop having them. And this bill is too expensive. So, nine o'clock. Come on. Golden Girls. I still watch the Golden Girls. Who doesn't? It holds up very well. Golden Girls? I feel come is the best television show ever. Really? Bold statement. I probably best sitcom. Okay. So, it's a qualifying statement. The best comedic television show ever, because it's still funny today. It is. And it never had a dip. Like, I think, like, every season was consistent. They never had that final season. Like, now there's a kid who lives with them. No. You're right. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like, and it, there's, they've never rep, it was such a beautiful representation of women. Yeah. It's celebrated, like, sex like that episode, where they're getting condoms. Yes. To go on the cruise. I have watched that. So, it is, it brings tears to my eyes. It's like, it was really weird about that is, growing up, it was a huge controversy to mention condoms on television. Yeah. Or, like, they couldn't show condom ads. And there was an episode of Valerie, where Jason Bateman's going to have sex with a girl, and he's going to buy condoms. And it got, like, banned in a bunch of cities, wouldn't air it. But that Golden Girls episode, nobody mentioned, no one would have had a problem with it. They were like, "Oh, that no big deal." I definitely, and I think most, you know, like, there's always, like, the "Which sex in the city" character. I'm like, "Which Golden..." Like, yeah, that's more accurate, I think. Oh, yeah. And I think, I mean, I would say I'm Blanche and Dorothy. A little, like, a mixture of the two. But sometimes I can act like Rose, and sometimes a little Sofia Coza. It's really a presentation of the, the entire cycle of life, well, at one point, one of the Golden Girls. I also like that one thing that doesn't, I have a real problem with the fact that there's no blue collar sitcoms anymore, which I've talked about on this a lot. And it's all aspirational, rich people, even shows that are supposed to be about poor people and two little girls that are not actually about poor people or they're very cartoonish. But the initial reason they all had to move in together is because they're single, retired women who don't have a lot of money and have to ban together to live with strangers, because they weren't friends before they all live together in Florida. Yeah, I feel like that's my future. I feel like a lot of people probably have to do that. Like, I see news stories every couple of years where it's like, older people now have to all live together with strangers and have roommates. Not even financially, I just mean, like, I think I could see myself wanting to live with mythiches. Yeah, in Florida. Yeah, in Florida, I'm just like, go on dates with, like, gentlemen colors and, you know, have your mother move in with you. Yeah, get up into antics. So this particular episode is, while Dorothy accompanies Blanche to Atlanta for Big Daddy's Funeral. Oh, Big Daddy. Big Daddy, yes. Sophia makes a bundle renting out their rooms. Oh, I remember this. This is a great episode. Sherry North is a guest star in this episode. Big Daddy always came out. I don't think we ever met him. I think this was the episode where he died. He was most mentioned, but I don't remember ever meeting Big Daddy. I think the daddy was, did he come to, I think he came and visited? That sounds right, but I can't remember who played him. You know who would know the internet? The internet would not, we'll look it up. All right, I also should mention that I don't look anything up before the show. So people, I always get a bunch of emails with people being like, why didn't you know this thing? So that's fine. You can email me after, but I don't look things up. And if you're like me when you listen to shows and we can't think of a name and we only get the first name, you're like yelling at nobody. It's this thing. So if you're yelling at who Big Daddy is. Do something else with you. So I would have gone with, with Golden Girls, absolutely. Tour of Duty was also on, which was a show that my dad used to watch, which was in that whole subgenre of everything about Vietnam in the late 80s. I never really understood why people would want to watch that. You know what was weird was that in the mid to late 80s, there was so many things set in or about Vietnam, which seemed like a million years before that, but it was only like 10 years before that. Yeah, I didn't even notice. And we're what 10 years past the Iraq war, and there's nothing set in the Iraq war. Yeah, no, except for a lot of "Never Forget" hashtag joke. Yes, this is true. Yes, this is true. But there's no shows that are like Mikel's Navy set in the Iraq war, or about veterans. 930, I'm assuming that you went with emptiness. I mean, do you really think I'm going to abandon my Saturday night schedule? You're an NBC all night. I am on the couch with my mom, and we are watching this. So I used to watch this. I wasn't the biggest fan of it, but it was just on. Yeah, and also Richard Mulligan, intense face. Yeah, he's a guy that I feel like is likable, but you feel like he could turn on you at any second. He reminded me of the, what is it, on the Muppets that... Oh, the Eagle? Yeah. Yeah, he was very much like the Eagle. Do you ever see the movie The Heavenly Kid, where he plays an angel? Yes. Yeah, he always scared me in that, and I have no idea why. Like the idea of an undead Richard Mulligan was kind of terrifying. In this particular episode, Carol, who was, I couldn't tell, most shows I try to figure out which, like, daughter I liked the most, this show I had was which one I liked the least. I disliked both daughters, and I couldn't figure out which one I disliked more. I think it was Carol. Redhead? Yes. She was a neurotic one. She was kind of more annoying. So in this one, Carol, who has a long history of quitting jobs, gets one in a university library, but she can't quite keep quiet when she's insulted by an obnoxious professor. Yeah, I mean, I'll watch it. Yeah, it seems light on the David Leisure in that episode. I was probably pretty sleepy by this point. Yeah, so you want to take a nap before Saturday night? Yeah, in 10 to 11 30. Wait, no, was sisters on Saturdays as well? Sisters was on Saturdays. But not this year. That was a little later. Sisters came in the wake of 30 something, which was ushered in that whole hour-long family drama thing. Sisters was good. Sisters was good. I used to watch 30 something and sisters, which was weird, because I was like 10 years old. I had to watch 30 something. I loved 30 something. And I tried to watch it now, and I hate everyone on it. Yeah, I couldn't get into 30 something, but I was really into sisters. I also grew up watching Dynasty and the Colby's with my mom. Okay, so you were a late night soaps person. You're the first friend of mine that has been into those. No one... My mother loved Dynasty. Okay. She loved the series of Thornebirds, when that came out. She loved, and so I watched a lot of, I mean, I watched a lot of inappropriate television at a young age, because I was watching Benny Hill since age three. But Benny Hill's not really appropriate for anyone. It's not, but I started watching that, and then we watched like Dynasty and the Colby's. So that's where I really learned about romance, how it just means, you know, like cheating and slapping people and mud fighting. And then, and then I remember my mom and I watched, I mean, this was back when on regular TV, they would sometimes show boobs. Oh yeah. And we watched the original swept away. Okay. The movie Madonna later did. Yeah. The original, and it's basically a movie about rape and like, yeah, there's a rape scene. I remember my mom just sitting in the couch with like big smile on her face going to so romantic. Like she was like, because I was also an Italian. Right. But it was like, very passionate, but like in retrospect, I'm like, it's rape me. Yeah, it's a little rapey. So I was watching that at like five or something. Because both of them are originally from Italy. Yes. And did they frequently watch? Was there Italian shows that they watched? Well, now my mom has, uh, what is it, RAI, which is like, yeah, but they didn't, when we didn't have cable, my town, I grew up in Baltimore, Massachusetts. We were one of the last towns to get cable. Yes. I remember that I lived in Belmont for the first three years of my life. And I was very upset that we didn't have cable. Oh yeah. You still have to go to my cousin's house to watch MTV. And I would bring a VHS tape and tape all of the poison and war and videos and then watch them. I still have them. Oh no. Yeah, I still have those. Yeah. I mean, another podcast. If you need them converted to DVD, I'd be happy to do it. Yeah, you would. And I also have, you would love this. I should give you this tomorrow. You just can't lose it. I have two VHSes filled with all of the Christmas episodes. I probably, it might even have been 89 or 88. I have the two to seven Christmas. Oh, the one where the church goes missing or the one where Lester has to play Santa Claus. I think Lester's play Santa Claus. That's a good one. Yeah. And then I have like Mr. Belvedere Christmas with Scrooge. Yeah. I have, I mean, I have everything. Oh, if you, I would happily convert those on DVD before you and return the tape. Okay. Yeah, it's done. Yeah. So I taped everything. I I'm a huge tape trader. I have like 10,000 DVDs of old television. So if there's anything you're looking for, let me know. So yeah, Golden Girls was the move. Empty Nest was a show I always watch. I, although at this time I was obsessed with this show called Beyond Tomorrow, it was not at the same time. It was like a magazine show about new technologies. Yes. In this particular episode, it has a segment on a breathable liquid that provides oxygen and an alternative to his director base. Okay. Speaking of inappropriate shows, I was like, I really got to watch this stuff. Yeah. Did you have any limits? Because like, I remember, okay. So when I was in fourth grade, third grade, I remember it was, I switched from private school to public school and it was third grade and every week or every like couple of weeks, a different kid got the bulletin board. Okay. And not, and you had to do like about me and you put like your birthday and like your favorite foods and your favorite, whatever. And my, and you put like photos, like you guys basically got to make like a get to know me board, right? So the week that I did it, all I put on there was TVs. Like it was like, oh yeah. Things from TV Guide, stuff about like Mr. Belvander and whatever. And the one I, and then you present the bulletin board your week. And I was like, and I went through my TV schedule with them. And then all the kids in my class started calling me human TV Guide and they'd be like, Julia, what's on on Tuesday? I'm like, uh, I was like, whatever it was totally can identify. Yes. And I, and I thought I was really cool. And then one of my friends was, I was like, this is so great. Like everyone like appreciates. I have a skill. Yeah. My friends was like, no, Julia, they're making fun of you. They're calling a human TV Guide because it's weird. That's a compliment. I thought it was a huge compliment. Oh yeah. I, we used to get, actually, I remember this specifically when we lived in Belmont, our family, my parents, friends would call and they want to know what was on. Like they were like, to ask you son what's on tonight. And I just, cause I used to get it and go through it and just memorize it. But we had no, we didn't even get TV. I don't know if we got the TV Guide that came for Fran the paper. Okay. So here's a theory that I have. Let's see if this has never been proven wrong yet. Let's see if you prove this wrong. So the TV Week was the one that came to paper. Every single person in every single family, I know that did the TV Week and not the TV Guide had a toaster oven instead of a toaster. Nope. You had a toaster. We had a toaster. All right. What does that mean? I have no idea. No, we never used a toaster. I mean, we had one, but it never was in use. So you disprove the first one. So when I was a kid growing up, for some reason, I noticed that my friends houses, the people who did TV Week had a toaster oven. We didn't know. Wait, that is the weirdest correlation. It is weird. And every person I brought it up with, I'll ask someone, I'm like, oh, it's used to be a week and they're like, yeah, I'm like, would you cook any toaster oven? And they're like, how'd you know I had a toaster oven? So this is 99 out of 100. But you know, frankly, it would have freaked me out if you said yes, because this it's never been proven wrong. But so my question to you is like, we had no rules in my house regarding what I could watch, how much I could watch. And with that, there's no rules in my house about what I could eat and when I could eat it. So most of my childhood, like, you know, I was, if I wanted to play sports or do a club, I could. But yeah, exactly. But my mom was also very overprotective was like, but if you want the Celeste pizza and want to watch TV from 3PM until midnight. Yeah, totally go. That's what I did. My parents had naturally, they had one rule. The only show I wasn't allowed to watch 2020. I watched 2020 all the time. It freaked me out so much. And I was terrified of this thing called flirty fishing, which is the way the moonies got people into cults. I was afraid of lap seat belts. I was afraid of using a team. Yeah, because they did a story about how they break your back, if you get me correct. So I would just sit there with a pen and be like, here's all the things we can't do. Because 2020 said it. And it wasn't that my parents were like, you're scared. They were kind of like, I want you to just shut up telling us what we can't do. So you can't watch it all the way. But I had no rules other than that. And I used to not really sleep very much. I would sleep like two hours a night and I would stay up all night and watch TV every day. The one rule I wish they helped with, but the thing is so my dad, he worked at nights at the tee. He was a electrical engineer. So he would go to bed really. He was like in bed at like, I think seven or eight or whatever. And my mom would always fall asleep watching him in the couch. So I didn't really have anyone even monitoring what I was doing. Did you just have one TV that the whole family liked? We still have a TV in every room. Yeah, so did we. And everyone I've talked to on this show, they're like, no, we had one TV. No, like we had one in the kitchen kitchen. You can't talk during dinner. No, we're going to, yeah, you got to do some of it. Yeah, absolutely. But we, um, so what I would do on, um, so when we moved into like our bigger house, where I had my own room, and again, it's not even like my room touched my parents room and it was right next to my sister's room. And I slept with the door. Like I was not lonely, right? Right. And, but I would watch, um, on channel 56 and Massachusetts was like, I guess it became the WB. Yes, it's a CW now. Yeah, so it was, yeah, so it was, you, a UVF channel, UHF, it was a VHF, UHF channel. Yeah, UHF channel. So on, usually on Mondays or Tuesdays, they would play like porkies and revenge on the nerds and all these like inappropriate ways to watch. But then on the other night, they would do horror movies. Oh, yeah. And I was terrified, like, but I would like try to like fuck with myself and like, right. And I'd watch how far you can go. Yeah. And I'd watch them with my hand, not even a remote. I'd sit right next to the TV. Your hand on the dial? With my hand on the dial, ready to change. I'm scared. And remember there was this one called like Funhouse? Yeah, Funhouse, Toby Hooper from 1980. Uh, it has real freaks in it. There's 200 cow. There's the scene where there's a baby in like a, I can't even still upset. Yeah. There's a baby like in a test tube. It's in a, it's a, in the carnival business, they call that a pickled punk. Okay. And it's a two headed baby, uh, fetus in a, in a jar. Okay. I saw that. I, when I would get scared, I would throw up. Really? Yes. Every time. Every, if I couldn't, so I had this weird, I was almost like bulimic, but not on purpose. Like a panic attack. I guess it's what was happening. But so I would eat a ton of celestial sun, whatever. Well, that, that could have contributed. Then I would, I saw this baby in the tube. Yeah, it is gross. It is horrible. And then I would try to go to sleep my own room and I would cry, make my mom sit by my bed until it fell asleep. And if I woke up and saw that she had finally left, I would throw up. Right. And so this went on for like two years. Every time with Funhouse. Um, well, then I mean, it happened a bit with like Nightmare in Elm Street and the Jason movies, but Funhouse, strong traumatized. Absolutely. I, I have a weird memory about that movie. There's a place called Hunt's photo and video in Melrose that's still there and they sell cameras and stuff, but they used to sell high-end TVs. And one night, my dad had to go there for, I have no idea why, but USA Network used to have a thing called Saturday Night Maris, every Saturday night with a conventional horror movie. And so I was watching Funhouse there at home. And my dad's like, we gotta go to a Hunt's. I have no idea what he needed to get. And so we go, I made him wait till it was a commercial break. We got to Hunt's at when the show started again. And I made the people at Hunt's put USA Network on, and I sat and watched Funhouse, which I'd seen before. Like, there was no reason for me to see it. And my dad went and paid and I was like, we can't leave till it's a commercial. And I have no idea why they indulged this. I was like eight or nine years old. Yeah. Uh, that's very odd that they indulged that now that I think about it. Yeah. Did you have siblings? I had a younger sister. Yeah. Okay. It was, she isn't a TV as you. No, not at all. Oh, really? Yeah. Even my sister, most, she's four years older, and most of our references to this day involve TV show references. Yeah. I mean, I, my dad and my mother, I was like, why do you remember this? And I'm like, all I did was watch this TV. Yeah. Those are my best friends on television. Yeah. Absolutely. And then for the food part, my dad went shopping every Thursday, and my dad did the shopping. My mother used to, but then she went with my sister when my sister was maybe three. And my sister grabbed a pie and shoved it into a lady's face because she saw it on TV. So she was in the carriage and she just grabbed this pie and just tied this lady in the face and then knocked down like a whole display. My mother was like, I'm never going shopping again. Oh my god. So my dad used to go every single Thursday after work. And my dad is very like, he was in the Navy. He's very, I have a list on this what I'm getting. So he had a budget every week for food. And even if he got everything we needed, he needed to spend the entire budget. And he goes to up and down every single aisle. So he would just get whatever snacks were on sale to, to like make sure he's, it was like a weird municipal budget. Like, if I don't spend it, I won't get it again next week. Yeah, you know, I know it was. So on Thursdays, kids would always come over my house because they knew we would get like a whole thing of snacks and they would just clear us out. And then it was very odd. Wow. Yeah. So they would watch, because they could watch whatever they want it. We also had black boxes that I built. So we got every single channel. Oh my god. So yeah, thinking about it, I know why kids would hang out at our house. It was kids I didn't even know. Like, I'm eating your little babies and watching some snacks. Oh my god. Is your TV in your room? I did. Yeah, me too. Black and white. I had, I had a color TV, but I bought it myself. Oh, thank you guys. Yeah, because I used to make money buying and selling comic books. Oh, okay. And also we, I stole my neighbor's cable, but he didn't know it. So sometimes we wouldn't pay our cable bill and the cable would go out. So I spliced my neighbor's cable, put it on a splitter, put one going into my room on an AB switch. So when our cable went out, I could turn over to their feed, which they, I mean, it didn't hurt them. They still got their cable. So even then I had to pretend that the cable wasn't out. And I would go in my room and be like, oh, let's look, I'm gonna go read. And I just reading, reading, reading, I have to watch with headphones on so my parents wouldn't know that I actually had cable in my room. I don't know if they know till this day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I had a VCR because it had a headphone jack. So I got, this is hilarious. We haven't even gotten to Sunday. I know this, this will be far too long. I've never been talking for for almost a half an hour. So let's move on to Sunday night, eight o'clock. What'd you go with? Okay, well, in all caps, I wrote down not America's most wanted. No, because once in a while, it would accidentally come on and I would freak out. Did you ever see anyone on that that you thought you knew? I did not watch it long. I literally would watch it for two seconds. And then to this day, when I go to the post office and I see, or like, if the news comes out on a kind of composite sketch, I change the channel. Nobody, there's no one on earth who's not terrified of composites. They're terrible. They're so scary. I think you could get, I don't know who the example of like, the friendliest, faced person on earth is. I can't even think of who they would be. But if you got a composite sketch of them, everyone would still be terrified of it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That'd be a great way to get over somebody that you had a crush on. It would be. You could hire a sketch artist to just draw a photo of them and be like, oh, they look like a murder. Yeah. That might be a little business. We could. Yeah. Don't steal the audience. Okay. So eight o'clock, I would have done star search. Good call. Yeah. A show that I can't believe hasn't come back given the current state of the media. But it has in, you know, sort of incarnations with like America. It's not salacious enough. You know, it's pretty much just like, I don't know. Spokes models. Yeah, that's true. Oh my God. This was my favorite part. Everybody's favorite part was the Modeling one. It was so hilarious. Like when they do the soft focus and all that sort of turning. And then I loved when they'd make the spokes models kick it to commercial and they would always be terrible. I remember. I don't know why this is such a like Chris memory, but I think I was like in fourth grade, I was sitting on my couch and I was watching star search and my parents left me home for like a couple hours before the fourth like fifth grade be home alone. Yeah, I mean, I was I was a rescue kid. So I don't have a good gauge of what's normal for that. But that sounds fine. Yeah, they went out to run an errand and I was in the phone with my friend Catherine. And I was like, wait, I have to watch star search and my parents are coming home soon and they're bringing me Burger King. And then she was like, Oh man, you're getting Burger King. So you're birthday. And I was like, no, I get Burger King almost. I used to get Burger King like every day. I was so disgusting. And she was like, what'd you get? I'm like a happy meal and a six piece chicken dinner. She was like, what? Yeah, I used to love the chicken tenors. I dipped them in honey, which was a short-lived thing McDonald's did. And then they got rid of it. Sweet and sour. Oh, you're the sweet and sour. A little too ethnic for me. Oh, well, I have an ethic really. Yes, I couldn't get in here. But stars are days to watch. I always liked it. They dropped this later on star search, but they used to have a segment with acting. Yeah, they dropped it later, but they have people do a scene. Oh, and it was so bad made. A children's one and an adult's one. And they'd all have to act the scene. And for some reason, I, and I don't think this was every week, but I always remember them acting opposite Tom Bosley every week. It was like almost always Tom Bosley. It was like, yeah, I'll do that. I would have gone with the Angelian show at this time. Yeah, I don't remember what that is. I was a big fan of Angelian. She was on It's A Living, which was a show that took place at the Bonaventure Hotel. She was in Mr. Mom from Cambridge Mass, and this was her comeback show after she was sort of the first person to publicly have breast cancer. She had, I think, a double mastectomy and then made a TV movie about it playing herself in the TV movie. And this was, yeah, the old BC. And this was her, her comeback show. It was not a great show. She was like a single mom. It wasn't on very long, but I definitely watched it. 8.30, I would have gone with Sister Kate. You picked an hour show, so you didn't need to work. Well, no. I was actually really torn about 8.30. I wrote down hidden video, just because I think I probably would have been really excited about married with children coming on next on the network. Right, right. So I would have turned, and this is probably when I would have prepared myself an antipasto. Okay. Did you have horses throughout the night? I used to do that. Sunday night, because in Sundays in my house, my family usually had like big kind of family linner, like lunch dinner. Okay, like an all day kind of thing. Like around like three. Okay. My mom would make pie. I usually didn't eat the pasta because I hated pasta growing up. She should have to probably get me a burger, came with my family pasta. I refuse to have this on my pasta. Yeah, and then around 8.30 or nine, I was like antipasto a ton. Right, right. And I would like fucking, you know, Tony Soprano, I would get a loaf of bread, provolent cheese, salami, like mortadella, like marinated mushrooms, olives, artichas. I remember my sister walking in one time, and I mean, I literally made like a platter, like a party platter. So we're eating like Garfield. Yeah, and she was like, you're gross. And I was like, you're gross. You don't understand. But I was such a small kid. I don't know how I wasn't obese. Children's metabolisms were higher in the 1980s. But um, so I wrote that I would probably watch hidden video. However, it's totally hidden video. You don't want to miss the total. It's not just hidden video. Totally hidden video. But then I also wrote in parentheses, if I had to really go back to that time in my life, I probably would have been wanting to sit with my mom and she would have wanted to watch the Gianna Pavarotti's Christmas special. Okay, I think that's fair. And I think that's culturally appropriate. Yeah. There was also a Nickelodeon cartoon special, Christmas special, that doesn't get a lot of love now called Tattertown. I don't have Nickelodeon. Yeah. Well, you missed out on this one. It was a Christmas special about, and I haven't been able to track it down. It's one of my holy grails. But it was a Christmas special about a town of sentient rags. Okay. Very, very odd. Totally hidden video just for the listeners that particular episode was, "Sigments include children at a petting zoo, trying to coax hens into laying eggs." Yeah. That would have sold me. Yeah, man. I would have gone with Sister Kate, which was the show, was Stephanie Beacham as a nun running a House of Orphans. I did watch that. Yeah, it was one season. Jessica Priestley was on it. This particular episode, an upcoming French test, becomes April's Bet Noir, and Todd, played by Jason Priestley, uses an unwilling Hillary in a ploy to attract a sales girl at a mall. The sales girl is probably Judy Aronson, who is in Friday the 13th, part seven. And she plays one of the girlfriends in weird science as well. Interesting. Okay. That is interesting. All right. I mean, nine o'clock, do I even have to stay married with children, or is it a set? Everybody watched it. Everybody wants it. The best. Have you rewatched it since, though? It's not that good. It is not good. It really isn't. I loved Kelly Bundy. Who did? I mean, I wanted to be her. If you want your Kelly Bundy fix, I think the right move is, don't tell them I'm the babysitter instead. I don't even need any of this fix anymore. She was like Kelly Bundy with her shit together. Yeah, that's true. My whole family watched marriage. My dad loved me. Oh yeah. My dad was a big fan of marriage. Yeah. But what a sleazy show in hindsight. Like when you watch it now, there's things where I'm like, I got introduced to married with children. I have my friend, Jill, who also was the friend that introduced me to hair metal. Okay. That makes perfect sense. Then Molly Cruz, Cinderella. Yeah. So she sort of introduced me to and she had two older siblings that kind of introduced her into all that. Okay. You know, like denim with tassels. Right. Right. So she, I grew up in a real like preppy bonus. She was like, well, it's very white. Yeah. And I, not that hair metal, isn't white. It's not a little edgy. Well, everyone in my grade, like in fifth and sixth grade, was in two nucas on the block. Yeah. And then I sort of rolled into class with like my poison t-shirt and I had a denim, the only denim jacket with white tassels. Nice. There's like smoke in guitars. And I didn't really have a ton of friends. You're rocking Alita Ford look at that time. And they wanted to know how cool I was. Yeah. I mean, I was like, if I was just over in Waltham, I would be the coolest person. I would be here. But now that I'm in Belmont, we're like, where's your NKOTBT? Yeah. I'm like, fuck yourself. NKOTV. I'm listening to Molly Cruz. Yeah. I always feel like never children was sort of the rainbow room of sitcoms. Yeah. So at 930, did you go with open house and keep it on phones? I just kept it. Not a show you remember though. The real estate vaguely. It was sort of an adult show. Not that it was dirty. It was just like about single people in their 40s who were just out of publicity and just almost a lot of that, especially with their marriage children, what a let down. Wait, what? Window was Tracey on the notch. Tracey was on a 10. It used to be 930, but then they, they, when it became a hit, they moved it to 10 and would kept trying to get a show to work at 930. And were your favorite parts when the Simpsons were on? No, I actually liked a lot of the character stuff better. I mean, I loved Tracey Elman, but when the Simpsons came on it, it was distinctly better. Yeah. When Simpsons were on, I have a Parker Lewis cast jacket. And it's from one of the guys who was on the Tracey Elman show. He's the one guy who didn't do a voice on the Simpsons. He's the one guy who was like, "Nah, I'm all set. I don't want to do that cartoon." Oh, man. I definitely would have gone with that as well. I would have watched Open House again, even though I was not that into the show, it was on it. Do it was another show that was in that slot, which also didn't do very well. Monday night, 8 o'clock. I think I know what you went with here, but yes. Well, I, in all caps, I wrote Not Alien Nation, another show that terrified me. I'm still scared of those guys at 8 o'clock. People with freckles on their bald heads. Yeah, totally scary. Um, Elf. Elf was a show that I always watch. My dad loved Elf. My dad thought Elf was the funniest thing on earth. My sister and I will still reference when the death-- Howie, is that the same? No, Willie. Willie. For some reason, he was making up a song in the piano about Asparagus, and he was going, "Asparagus, Asparagus." He spoke so early with Alfred. Yeah. And there's no way that life would have been married to him. No. There's no way of earth. But he was a, he was a smart scientist. That's true. And he, you know, Willie. Willie. Willie. Willie. In this particular episode, Willie and Kate, Max Wright, and Sheedan, she never wasn't anything else. Willie wasn't a lot of stuff after when he ghosted right here. Yeah. PBS, but throw a luau, but it's no picnic to try and keep Elf away from the guests. Why was this on in December? I don't know. Maybe they were just trying to get people into like a festive mood. I want some Christmas specials. Now, normally I would have always gone with CBS's Monday Night lineup, because I'm, we'll get into a moment, but I was a new heart designing women, Kate and Natalie person. But, and this time, the only thing was opposite, Elf was Major Dad, which was a show I could take her leave. Boo. Yeah. Gerald McRanny, not my girl. Oh, grainy. Yeah. So I definitely would have gone with Elf as well at this time, but just for the listener's sake, I feel the need to read the synopsis of MacGyver that night, because they're always great. Yeah. MacGyver's rock singer friend, played by Audrey Landers of the Landers sisters, thinks her twin sister, also played by Audrey Landers, is trying to kill her. I want to watch that right now. I think that sounds very good. Wonderful. 830 what'd you go? Hogan family. I loved Valerie, hated the Hogan family. Yeah. I mean, it was, it was fine. It was on. It was there. Yeah. And I was just trying to waste time before Murphy Brown. Sandy Duncan is one of my least favorite people on earth. Interesting. I just can't stand her. Is she the disease? Ah, an annoying disease. I had just the disease that made me allergic to her face and voice. Okay. Fair enough. I would have gone with one of my favorite shows. This is a Christmas special, and one of my favorite Christmas specials of all time. Hey, did I miss it? You did. The famous Teddy Z. Did you ever watch that? I don't think. John Cryer. Okay. Probably the best thing John Cryer has ever done, which some people will say that's not saying much, but I happen to be a John Cryer fan. Okay. And this show was based on a true story. He played a limo driver that ended up becoming the manager of a crazy famous actor and getting into this Hollywood agency. So it was about like sleazy Hollywood agents. And one of my absolute favorite actors of all time was in it, Alex Rocco, who played Joe's dad on "Faxalife." He's in "The Godfather." He's Mo Green. All right. He's from Somerville. He's the one that started the Irish Italian Mafia Wars in Somerville and had to move to the West Coast to get away from it. And his dad happened to know Leonard Nimoy, who's from Newton, and got him to live with Nimoy and take acting classes from Leonard Nimoy. And that's how he got an acting. Holy shit. He's fascinating, sir, if you want to look up Alex Rocco. But he was in this show as a guy named Al Floss. And it was basically a show where he was the star of the show, but they couldn't be like, "We're going to make a show about an old agent dirt bag from Boston." So they kind of had John Cryer be the in there. And this is a great Christmas episode. It's a Christmas carol retelling. And it's called an Al Floss Christmas. And this one is after ordering Teddy and Laurie to work on Christmas Day. Al Floss is visited by the ghost of his former boss who tells Al to expect more spiritual company throughout the Christmas. And his boss is from by Bill Macy, who was on mod. He was mod's husband. And he's from Revere. Oh. So it is a very Boston centric episode and a great one of my all-time favorite Christmas episodes. Okay. I recommend that one enough. Cool. Great show. Nine o'clock. Murphy Brown. Murphy Brown followed by Designing Women. I mean, talk about... What a power tower. Power house. Like if you... If if Murphy Brown Designing Women and Golden Girls were ever in the same block, which they weren't sort of different style shows, I think it was heads... I think they would. I think we would not have any sort of inequality with women. Oh, no. They're giving you a president by now. You're not putting an alley into that. Make it a full two hours. Why not? Yep. So Murphy Brown that night was not a Christmas episode. Sadly, Designing Women also not a Christmas episode, but this was a special episode. It says there's a full-page ad and it says a great comeback for Suzanne going to her high school reunion takes more than a pretty face. It takes class. It does. This was when she's... Delta Burke was started struggling with the weight issues and they started writing it into the show. So this one is just before her high school reunion. Suzanne is looking for a dress to cover the quote unquote few pounds she's put on since graduation. All right. Classy. It was a weird episode to actually mention the main actresses' weight struggles on the show. I know, right? And then she got fired for it later, which... For being heavy? Yeah. Oh yeah. So Tuesday night, 8 o'clock, what'd you go with? Who's the boss? A show, as we mentioned earlier, I never liked but watched every week. I loved it. But you loved it. What did you like? Who was your favorite character on Who's the Boss? Oh, man. Most people say Mona. She was pretty great. I mean, ah, Jonathan was pretty neat. I just heard a boy. I mean, probably Alyssa Milano because I like everything. Yeah. And they're all fine. I just... And there was also this like, Artoni and Angela gonna get together. So you liked the world they want today? Oh yeah. I'm a sucker for world they won't say it. I normally love that and I love it on moonlighting and so many shows. I love that. But for some reason on Who's the Boss, I was like, I don't fucking care. I just just shut up. Just be married and hang yourselves. Like I really bothered me about them. It was a little intense. Especially when I was nine. Yeah. I'm not like, why do they have to? And then eight thirty wonder years. Yeah. I mean, that's definitely the best call there. What a great show. I don't think there's anyone who doesn't like wonder years. And I'm assuming you avoided rescuing 911, given your fear of unsolved mysteries and... Yeah. I mean, it didn't scare me as much, but I definitely, yeah, I didn't want to watch it. So wonder year is fun fact. When I lived in LA many years ago, the grandmother college, I was in Whole Foods and I saw Winnie Cooper. Oh yes. Eating, taking way more than one sample of cheese. Really? From the cheese. She's a thiever. And I mean, I do that, but I'm also not, I know Winnie Cooper. Do you think she was like, I'm fucking Winnie Cooper. I don't pay for this shit. I don't know what's happening, but I didn't realize it was her. I just thought it was a girl eating a lot of the cheese. Right. So I got my friend Maria and I was like nudging and like kind of like pointing. She got that girl on the throne, stealing cheese. Yeah. And I was like, save some cheese for the rest of us. And Maria was like, Julia, stop it. And I was like, yeah, that bitch was, you know, like, she's like, no, that was Winnie Cooper. And like, I don't know why. It was like my first celebrity sighting in LA. And it was just... Which made it even better. It's like she is stealing cheese. She's just like us. Yeah. She's just like us. I, uh, one of my first celebrity sighting in LA is we were in a Thai restaurant. And I was telling my wife how the decor of the restaurant reminded me of Peewee's Playhouse, which it was very, very similar. And right when I said that, Dottie from Peewee's Big Adventure came in to pick up a takeout meal, Elizabeth Daley. And I just was staring at her because I couldn't like, I was like, did I conjure her? And she totally, Rachel's like, stop staring at her. And she was looking at me like, why? I don't know. And I just totally ruined a night. I feel bad about it now. My same friend Maria, she was in a very small production, not small, but like a small theater production. A small, a little people production. A little people, tiny people of Once in this Island, the small theater in LA, and Alfonso Verbarro, I never say this though, right, was sitting in the theater alone, watching it, drinking a phony out of a prometer bag. Do you think he was, do you think he has a chip on his shoulder about people not thinking he's black enough? I don't know what was happening. I just know that he was drinking out of a brown paper bag. Nice. I have his break dancing and instructional video. Oh, you used to have ads on Nickelodeon. You could buy Alfonso Verbarro's break dancing instructional video book LP. And it came with a branded piece of Alfonso Verbarro cardboard. I would like to move on. Yes. Okay. Yes. Immediately. Nine o'clock. Roseanne. Roseanne is the only choice. That is, that's also, Roseanne is probably one of not, I wouldn't give it the same credit as Golden Girls. I would. But I, well, just Golden Girls, I can, at any point and any day, you can say to me, Golden Girls is on, do you want to watch it? I'll say cool. Roseanne, I have to be more in the mood for it. Yeah. Roseanne was more of a bum out sometimes. But I think Roseanne is one of the few sitcoms that is still really funny today, like edgy. It's very timeless. Actually, both of them shows, it's difficult to tell what gears they're sitting. That's sort of timeless. Like, Golden Girls doesn't have a lot of that many sort of cultural references. No. It could be taking place at any time. Roseanne's sort of the same thing. Yeah. Except for the last season where they got rich, which was terrible. I will give Golden Girls the edge because all 10 seasons of that were, were of a high caliber and Roseanne did start to dip Roseanne. Yeah. But yeah, totally timeless, very well written. One of the best writing staffs of any show, Judd Apatow was a writer, Joss Whedon was a writer, like all these people who've shaped the way that the entertainment industry is now on Roseanne. Great show. 930, this is a tough call. I wrote Coach, I guess. I, Coach, did you actually write, I guess? Yeah, I wrote, I guess. Yeah. Coach, awful show, 19 Nelson, incredibly unlikable person. It started as a stand up. If you've never seen this stand up, you're a better person than I. I would not have watched that. I would have gone with a movie on Cinemax called Alien from LA, which starred Kathy Ireland, only one of two film roles for Kathy Ireland. TV Guide only gives it one star. Yeah. I'll read you this synopsis in the trusty TV Guide, movie Guide in the back of every TV Guide. Alien from LA, adult themes, a woman discovers another world at her father's African excavation site. Oh boy. Yeah. I like the adult themes, that kind of ruled me in. It's a PG movie. It was directed by a Hawaiian guy. It was a parody on Mr. Science Theater 3000 later. Okay. Yeah, pretty good. It's a sucker for adult themes. I think we all would want, would you go through the movie, oh you didn't have cable, so you couldn't watch them. But I did, I like, I think deep down in my heart, I'm like a 10, like a 10 year old boy when it comes to like booby, like I would be like boobs, even though I was different. But it was kind of exciting, it was because you were exposed to porkies. Yeah, oh my god. Yeah. So did you ever get cable or are you on? Yeah, yeah, we got cable, I think, I don't know if I was in middle school or high school, which is like a perfect storm then of hormonal. Yeah, I think it might have been like eight when I was in eighth grade or something like that. Oh, so and you had had this no cable suppression, so you must have just gotten nuts. But like, but I said, though, it was back when on like W.L.V.I. Yeah, they would show on edited movies. Yeah, like that scene in Revenge of the Nerds, where again, pretty rapey, where he's got the mask on and pretenses. Are all nerds nerds as good as you? Yeah, and I, yeah, I think I probably humped so pillow to that. Yeah, I think we probably all did. Yeah, I think we probably all did. Yeah, the nerds I've probably seen maybe 50 or 60 times. There's another movie, there was a weird phenomenon where our rated movies would become very popular with children, and then they would make the sequels very childlike. So like Revenge of the Nerds 2 was rated PG-13, and then Revenge of the Nerds 3 and 4 were made for Fox. Oh, interesting. Which is very weird. And like, the Police Academy movies, which had a cartoon series later, the first one has tons of blowjob jokes and like a bunch of boobs in it, very, very strange. So nine o'clock, would you go, you went with Roseanne, 9/30 went with Coach, on to Wednesday. All right, such a good night. Well, I think such a good night. It's just really at the end of growing pains. I love- One of my all time favorite sitcoms. Oh, I mean, I, growing pains, I don't, because it's not on any syndication right now, but like, that is a great- And only the first three seasons on DVD, sadly. Oh, really? Yeah. I mean, I wasn't as into it when, um, Leonardo Caprio came on. No, no, no, no. I'm sorry. I wasn't into it when Chrissy came on. Chrissy, when, uh, toddler Chrissy, or the first year when she was still an infant. Just fuck Chrissy. Yeah, no one wants Chrissy. The best two seasons, in my opinion, on growing pains, were seasons three and four, which were right when just the 10 of us spun off from it. And so what happened to the quality dip was all the writers who were the good writers on the show went to just the 10 of us, because they hated Kirk Cameron. And then when that, that show got canceled, they never, the quality never went back. Does he hate a Kirk Cameron? Yeah, he was in just an unrelenting prick. Was he always Jesus? No, I think, I haven't been able to confirm this. But what I understand was he developed a cocaine problem. Of course. Big shock. Huge teen star in the 80s cocaine problem. And then to get over it, like many people do turn to Jesus. And then was very, very preachy. Got Julie McCullough fired from the show because she appeared in Playboy. Even though she'd been on the show for two years and was in Playboy, I think before she was even on the show. And he called the people who made the show pornographers because they had her on there. He was just the worst. If I'm not mistaken, Julie McCullough briefly dated Brett Michaels, lead singer of Poison, my favorite all time band. I wrote Brett Michaels, a fan letter around the time, I think that he was dating Julie, and that I really hated Julie. You hated her because she was still a man. I was like, oh, I don't know. Could you identify with the episode where Ben goes to see his rock star hero play by Brett Pitt? And then he walks in on him making out with a groupie? Oh, my God. Wait, my, my favorite episode is the one with the, um, when Alan Thicke does just take those old records on the show. Oh, yes, because he had the old band, the Paisley Underground. Yeah. Because the name of his old band. I mean, I can't watch Robin Thicke without thinking of Alan Thicke. Now, do you remember Alan Thicke's Saturday morning show animal crackups? Yes. And he sang the theme song that went animals. Yeah, I would like Robin Thicke to cover the animal crackups. So good. So this is a good episode when Mike gives Ben a lift to the store to buy school supplies. The trip turns into a girl chasing expedition. Yeah, this is actually one of my absolute all time favorite episodes of Growing Pains. I am a sucker for movies and television that take place over the course of one night. Yeah. So like after hours, adventures, and babysitting, all those kinds, I could watch that kind of thing forever. And this is one of those episodes. It's the last night before school vacation that Ben was supposed to have done this project all summer, which is a three dimensional map of Europe. And so he goes out to buy glue, but it ends up being this like a CD underbelly of Long Island and Eddie's in it, rare for us late appearance by Eddie. It's it's a quality episode. Yeah, coder is dead. Eddie's still. Oh, Eddie's alive. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry about that. I also wrote in all caps and Wednesday, not unsolved mysteries. No, terrifying. Yeah, terrifying. So many terrifying shows and you didn't want Beauty and the Beast. A lot of girls watched that show. Nope. No, I absolutely hated that. I did Growing Pains, E30. I did have a class. I will mention Unsolved Mysteries was a particularly terrifying one for me at this night because there was an FBI hunt for a Massachusetts man wanted, according to this report, in connection with the murder of four Pennsylvania police chiefs. I don't even want to hear it. Yeah. Yeah. I am in my 30s. Head of class is great. Yep. And then Doogie Howser. I hated Doogie Howser. Really? Yeah, I still do. I mean, I can't watch it. Oh, it was all right. And then I did anything but love. However, I might have watched Samford and Son. So you might have come on the repeat because did you not like the romance and anything but love between the two main characters who were Richard Lewis and Jamie Lee Curtis? Um, no, I didn't buy them as a couple. Yeah. And also they both, yeah, they're like, they're all right. Thinking about it, I can't buy anyone in a couple with Richard Lewis. Yeah, he's an interesting odd person. Yeah. Jamie Lee Curtis, it just was like, she's not going to date Richard Lewis. And for some reason at age nine, I was like, no, not buying it. Yeah. Yep. Thursday night. Oh, eight o'clock. Come on. The Cosby show. Cosby show. Everyone watched it. Everyone should watch it. Classic show stands up to this day. Great show. If you, if if the episode that you're about to read is by any chance, one of the two that I'm going to say, I will flip my shit. If it is Vanessa, go on to see the wretched and Baltimore. It is not. That is my all time, all time favorite, favorite episode. One of my favorite ones is when Vanessa gets caught drinking and they make her play the drinking game and he's going, drink it. Yes. So that's, and then my other favorite episode was when Rudy wanted to wear a dress to, I think her birthday party, but it was like too cold or whatever. They made her change out of her dress and she went upstairs and they did like a montage to some jazz song where she was looking at an old photo of her and that dress and like white, like holding it with her. They sing over the dress. Those are my two favorites. I like the two. These are two Theo centric episodes where Theo was going to move out and the one where Theo and Cockroach shave their heads. Yes. Oh my god. This is a Christmas episode. Yes. I got a Christmas episode. Yes. So this is during a mail bonding, Cliff and Martin, which are Joseph C. Phillips, get along with their old Navy buddies. Meanwhile, Olivia, so this is a Raven Samoan era, is curious about Santa, is he white, black Chinese or what? They have some Chinese? Yes, they do. Interesting. So this is a very cute scene where Cliff is sort of telling her how Santa is whatever you are, is what he tells us. She's a nice sentiment. It's a pretty good episode. And I would have gone with a different world. Yeah, a different world for sure than Cheers than Dear John. Yes. Dear John, depressing show. Very depressing. Cheers, still good, still. Cheers is great. I will still watch Cheers. Yeah. So this is not a non Christmas episode of Cheers, although there are several good Christmas episodes of Cheers. And then Dear John, you don't really freak me out as Jerry Brine's who played Kirk. Yeah, I mean, Dear John, again, here's the thing with the 930 slot every night. If you like, I'm pretty and different. Right. And again, that's usually when I'm like, kind of, you know, I've, I've really laughed. I've cried. I've had a lot of feelings for me. It's like a cool down in an exercise. It is a cool down. You know, that's really when I'm like, putting away my snack plates. Yeah, it's background. Yeah. It really is just to keep me company from the crippling pain of not having tons of friends because I'm a human to you guys. Yes, yes. Again, I would have been like, at the same time, I would have been like, man, I wish there were other kids at the school who were human to you guys. And I know a few times over. So this was a Christmas episode. Dear John. And Christmas can be the only time for one. I forgot that because it was about, for people weren't familiar, it was based on a British series called Dear John, which is even more depressing than the American one. And it was about middle-aged single people who'd been left by people, like depressed single people. What a victim. I know. And the group was called one to one-ers, which seems so sad. And so this is Christmas can be the only time for one to one-ers who have no one to have Christmas with, especially John, whose son, played by Ben Savage of the Savage family and Boy Meets World Later, is off to Disney World for the holiday with his mother. I always feel bad for Judd Hirsch. She's always a sad sack. Yeah, just get over it. All right. And then Friday, the final night in the TV guide week. Friday, I remember being sad when I got like older, you know, like leaning toward high school. Friday nights became like, you almost felt like you had to go out. And if you didn't go out, you felt like you were a loser. Yeah, I used to go to the school dances in middle school. Yeah, like school dances, go to the movies, go to the mall. But really what I wanted to do was stay home and watch on. So this is December 15. So Rudolph was on eight o'clock, but you went with full house. Well, honestly, full house, I liked it. But now I didn't even notice that I probably would have watched Rudolph. We were off for an hour. Yeah, it was an hour. And I didn't want to miss family matters. See, I couldn't get into family matters. At this time, it was still pretty good because it wasn't as archal heavy. But I watched it all the time. This is when the theme song was still what a wonderful world is. Here's a thing with family matters. Two things. One, they dropped the youngest sister. Didn't mention it. Didn't mention she died. Yeah. Because all of a sudden, one season, she's not there. Yeah. To my mother, to this day, does the best Herkal impression. Really? Oh, yeah. Every now and then, just like, I'll be long and just out of the struggle. A lot. A lot. Which she doesn't that actually was a lot. So I thought I could Italian Herkal. Italian Herkal. So did she love family matters? She loved Herkal. She'll go, "Hey, mama, that's a guy, Herkal. I did I handle that." My dad loved Herkal too, actually. You know, my dad used to buy his The Herkal cereal all the time? No way. And my dad taped the episode where they did the Herkal dance. Oh, yeah. And he used to watch it, like, on his own, just because he thought it was so funny. He was pretty great. And then, obviously, Perfect Strangers at 9. Yeah, there was a weird thing in the Boston area where, when Perfect Strangers was on at 9.30, WCVB, our NBC affiliate didn't air it. They used to show a rerun of the Cosby show. So I used to have to unplug the cable and get the NBC affiliate from Providence to watch Perfect Strangers. That's how dedicated I was. Wait, regular? Wasn't it just on a regular TV? It was. But I would have to unplug the cable so that I could use the antenna to get the Providence NBC station. Yeah. And I have no idea why they did that. But once it moved in nine o'clock, we were set. But for some reason, when I was on 9.30, it wasn't on. So I absolutely would have watched the Biddy Babka's episode. The Biddy Babka Dance is the best episode. The best episode ever. Also, again, watched it with my mom. Yeah. As an immigrant, she really, like, she'd be like, "Ah, Becky." Like, there's just a lot of-- So your mom was loving Friday nights. Oh my god. Me, that's why when I was like, "Hey, Julia, are you gonna come to the mitties or what?" I'd be like, "I'd be like, yeah." Oh, I don't feel that good. Something suddenly came out. Yes, something. I have to wash my hair. Yes, yes. Oh, that was always in sitcoms. How is washing your hair? You should wash your hair before you go out. And also, does that take all night? For years, I thought that-- I'm like, "Girls, take a few hours to wash their hair a couple of times a week." And she-- It doesn't imply that it's just the hair in her head. Maybe she has, like, just hair in bags. Here's the rug. Oh, you just hair in bags? Yeah. I have a ton of hair to wash. Um, yeah. You missed out on a ton of Christmas episodes. Wait. It would have been very difficult. What is this? There was, right after it was reindeer, there was a thing called Christmas of Champions. No, I don't care about that. There was the Siskel and Ebert Holiday Video Gift Guide. No, thanks. The Christmas episode of Baywatch. No. The movie The Night They Saved Christmas, which is, do you remember that one when they were gonna blow up the North Pole? Yeah, they could go that way. Yeah. And then there was also an 8 o'clock Christmas with the stars, which is Celebr-- Celebrities performed to benefit the victims of the San Francisco and Armenian earthquakes with the Beach Boys, Dian Warwood, Dudley Moore, Tony Bennett, Shaka Khan, and Louise Mandrel. And I would have been watching just the 10 of us. I mean, Rudolph's the only one. So it would have been full house to be in the 100s, perfect strangers, just the 10 of us, but I probably would have flipped back and forth between Rudolph and Full House and Family Matters. Yeah, because they were both actually repeats, so it would have been okay. Just the 10 of us, probably my old-time favorite sitcom. Oh, it's so good. I absolutely love it. This episode is Marie follows the calling by entering our convent for a two-week training period, but the journey there with her mother seems more like an experience from the Twilight Zone. What a weird character. It was a teenage girl who wanted to be a nun. Like, where else would you see that? Was that the girl Jamie? Jamie Lunar was one of the twins, so it was her and Wendy was-- They weren't even look alike. They didn't, but they were the same age, I think they were fraternal twins. Marie was the oldest who was Heather Langenkamp, who was in Night When I Was Late 1, 3, and 7. Jamie Lunar, is that what you said? Yes. Lunar was the first girl that I-- I don't know if it was like a lesbian crush. Okay. I wish I looked like her and was her crush, but I had a thing for her. I think everybody did. She was just so cute. Did you watch Savannah that she was on later? Yeah, I didn't care. I met her. Oh, yeah. I met her and she signed my just the 10 of us cast photo. She say anything about me? She was like, "Do Julia, I hear that she's new and what she up to, you're a number." And so I gave her your number. Oh, yeah, yeah, I have enough drinks now, and I don't know what happens. She was great. What a great show. It sadly only lasted three seasons. And then 2020 was on, and I always feel obligated to read what it was about, since it was the only show I wasn't allowed to watch. And it was one of my favorite shows, and it's still-- now it kind of sucks because they do a lot of talent. Not salacious. Well, no, 2020, up until about a year ago, it was pretty. They would have like a topic and, you know, really rockin' out. Now what they do is they'll do like, this week, angry employees at airports, and they'll just take a bunch of clips from old 2020s. It's like hidden camera clips? Almost like hidden camera, but they just use old segments. No, it seemed like a real asshole, John Stassel. He was the mustache gun? Yeah. Because his voice was always like, all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could have a crush on Cuomo. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. What's his name? I can't think of his first name. But he's one of the-- The current reporters on? Yeah, the current, if he is listening. He's a big-- he does listen to the show. He does. And so does Jamie Luna. So maybe you could just get a thing going. I'm not saying I'll have a three, the two of them. But if it happened, you wouldn't be mad about it. It'll just not just the ten of us. Just the three of us. I think everyone would be behind that. Yeah. I know if you're a new sitcom. If you're a new sitcom. It would be like a sitcom. Who's that 90s movie with one of the bald ones? Was it called Forreesome? Yeah, I think so. Before we make that a sitcom. So this one, and I like that TV Guide points out, scheduled. So it may be different, but they're just saying this is what's scheduled. So don't get mad at us if this isn't it. Okay. It says a report on a nine-year program at the University of Denver designed to reduce the divorce rate. And producer Phil Bergman says, "By training couples, how to battle with each other without destroying one another, including scenes from the classes, a talk with a trainer who demonstrates an arguing technique." Nice. So that probably wouldn't have scared me, but probably also not appropriate for me to watch. So Julia, that is the end of the week, unfortunately. But as you know, TV Guide is not just informative. Yeah. It has opinions. And it cheers and it cheers. So I'd like to read you the cheers and cheers for that week and see if you agree or disagree. So first we start with a cheer. Okay. To turn our network television for presenting the first new Dr. Sue special in seven years, Seuss's The Butter Battlebook is a parable about the yukes and the zukes separated physically by a great wall. I do not remember this at all. I like Dr. Sue, so I'm going to say cheer. Okay. Grew it that year. Now I want to watch the great The Butter Battlebook because I'm ahead of it. Obviously wasn't popular as Not Rewind Every Earth Goes. All right. Number two, we have a cheer to the US Supreme Court for rejecting the requests of broadcasters and cable casters to televise the court's proceedings. I don't really care. Kind of boring. I guess cheer the girl. I don't know. And finally cheers to Farrah Fawcett for proving that her talent is more than just skin deep. Over a decade ago, Farrah starred in Charlie's Angels in which acting took a backseat to Anatomy. She could easily have been forgotten the victim of a shallow 70s TV series and then just talked about how she's in TV movies like The Burning Bed and How Great She Is. Whatever. I don't really think great actress Farrah Fawcett. I just don't even think about her. No. She doesn't really go into my world. And also, just because you're a huge growing pains fan, I want to add that they reviewed the movie Listen to Me in Here, which was recently out on video, Kirk Cameron's attempt at really getting a new dramatic film career. Nice. One star. Great. Yes. Well, Julie Rossi, thank you so much for having me. Well, there you have it. That was my end. It says if Julia Rossi was nice enough to come to the home and do the podcast, then check her out at Julia Rossi dot com or badbride dot net is the address for her particular one woman show. Definitely check her out. Follow her on Twitter. She is very funny. I also want to thank you guys for subscribing to the show for leaving reviews on iTunes. It's all very helpful. If you haven't done so and you're so inclined, please do. You can review us on Stitcher. You can review us on SoundCloud. You can subscribe and all those things. You can also join our Facebook page and you can ask me questions on there. You can fill in gaps or things that I got wrong or tell me things that I got wrong or ask me questions and I can try to answer them and not be wrong. And I really appreciate all the comments and emails we've gotten so far. Again, you can always email me at can@icandread.com. We will see you again next Wednesday on the TV guidance complex. [Music]