TV Guidance Counselor
TV Guidance Counselor Episode 3: Tom Dustin
Wait, you have a TV? No, I just like to read the TV guide read the TV guide. Don't need a TV Hello and welcome to yet another episode of TV guidance counselor I am Ken Reed. I want to thank you for checking out the podcast again. This week is one of my favorite episodes We've done thus far. My guest is comedian Tom Dustin who I've known for a number of years He is a true Boston character, which is sort of an old man phrase But the best way I can describe him we get into some really interesting stories here I think you'll enjoy it. So here it is this week's episode with my guest Tom Dustin [music] Hello welcome to TV guidance counselor. I am Ken Reed the TV guidance counselor and this week my guest is mr. Tom Dustin Hello Ken. Hello. Good. I'm good. Welcome to my home. I'm thrilled to be here Yeah, this is the kind of what I imagine. Is this kind of what you imagine some people find it disappointing if it no No, no, the inside is what I wanted the outside. I thought would be made of candy. Yeah. Well, you don't know that it isn't I'm less you tried to a candy side Yeah I when I was in the Burbank a couple weeks ago We drove by a house that was made to look exactly like a gingerbread house And they had cut out gingerbread men outside and it wasn't like a daycare center or any kind of business It was just this dude's house registered sex offender. Yeah. Yeah, just for that He actually never did anything wrong, but they just drove by his house and they were like, yeah, you're on the list There's there's gotta be a couple times a year where people sue him for dental stuff Well, I tried to eat your doorknob or like there's some kids missing and you fatten them up in a cage Because they might have sticks that they're pretending other fingers So you picked a TV guide from 1990 you picked March 17th through the 23rd 1990 What what drew you to this TV guy? I was sick of looking at TV guys Wow, you got a billion of them and I thought what's that? I mean, you just want to get out of here Cares about no, no, I just it was hard for me to come up with a period in my life where I I've always loved a couple of TV shows, but never all at once in one year, right? So I so it's good that you didn't say the thing that you did this was the the headline on the front of the thing 10 great movies for St. Patrick's Day No, many many people are like wow, you know, I'm gonna do a 10 movie St. Patrick's Day marathon And this is what year is it 1990 departed hadn't even come out yet. No, is it better world then? So let's start as all TV guide week start. Let's start with Saturday night now This happens to be a Chicago edition So for prime time we went from 7 to 9 o'clock, but we'll translate that to East Coast time a.k.a The only time that matters 8 to 10. So what do you got 8 o'clock? At 8 o'clock. I would Saturday night. Yep. I Skip the regular broadcast television entirely. I went to premium sessions and on HBO They're showing lean on me which you apparently are the world's biggest fan of and I'm a fan. I've seen it They used to call me crazy joke. See, I always confused that movie with the principal with Jim Belushi Not as good that one's more violent. Yep. I've never Not as good. It's more violent lean on me has more heart. Okay, so you you went for the heart Which is why you also didn't like stand-and-deliver. I like stand-and-deliver. I'm not a big Those three movies The the principles the worst one. Oh, yeah, would you ever see class of 1999? It's basically the same as lean on me except instead of Morgan Freeman their cyborgs And Pam careers in it. Oh, then yeah, yeah, that's a great one. So yeah, how many times did you estimate you've seen lean on me? Oh? I would guess something like 40 30. Okay in my it since it came out right right and that's counting watching chunks of it Okay, so it's like a movie that you just put on in the background I like the fat kid that smokes crack and I like the song this is someone in the movie. Yeah, the fat Yeah, that's when Morgan Freeman has the kid on the roof of the building and he goes. Yeah smoke crack, don't you? So here's what's interesting. So Morgan Freeman everybody loves I'm not I will admit I'm not a Morgan Freeman fan Why's that he's the same character in every single movie except lean on me where he's sort of badass But every single movie that guy is the definition of phone in it in no Morgan Freeman is the king of phone in it in well only because he's got such a great voice and they can he could phone it in And they could use it as a voice me on me's a little different cuz he actually phoned in the entire narration to Match of the penguins. Yeah, and his entire career So here's the kind of shocking thing is that I actually have Morgan Freeman's phone number. Do you? Yeah, is it God's phone number? Where did you obtain Morgan Freeman's phone number? I can't really is it a New Orleans number? Yeah Yeah, you can call his restaurant. We could call him right now. I don't know He'd probably go who the fuck is this and how do you get my thing and swear? Yeah, he's like black men of freckles. Don't swear That's just is that a stereotype I heard or in my town? Yeah, yeah, like you get it if you get a black out of freckles You cannot make them square It's like those guards at Buckingham Palace where you can't get them to flinch black out of freckles will not swim He swears in No, they dub it in with another actor he wouldn't do it Like to spread this misinformation. Here's the shocking part where you're looking at his number TV guy Gave lean on me only two stars. That is shocking. I'm shocked by that Here's what they say about lean on me PG-13 1989 strong language and violence Morgan Freeman plays a controversial New Jersey principal who turned around an ailing inner city high school What a boring Synopsis for a film. Yeah, it's just the opposite of the film. Here's the thing that makes me interested in it though Napier is played by Robert Guillaume. I don't remember that part. Benson. Oh Yeah, he's in it. Yeah, he's in it. He's and I he's at first he's resistant to the changes that crazy Joe Want to make ways, you know, it's unorthodox. Yeah, yeah plays by his own rules Well, that's why the schools in such trouble. They haven't they haven't they don't got to take charge Yeah, so what you didn't go you didn't go without he's the h. I and h and I see H H I n c it's the hence the head the head and word in charge that h and I see that was okay That made popular from that movie. I'm the H and I see was that made popular. Yeah. Yeah, did you hear that often? I say it a lot now See I remember is the the song the cover of lean on me by what was the band art Nouveau or something like that? Was very popular at that time Was it if not art Nouveau was called? Classic Nouveau that was the name of the band. I think nope something Nouveau. It was something new fell biv Nouveau Bell biv Nouveau But all right club Nouveau club Nouveau. That's it club Nouveau So what you passed up is Alf sort of at the tail end of its its run You know what I got Alf in the first season. He eats cats and he's a puppet. Yeah, I was I was at this point in my life 1990 I'm 15 years old. Yeah, so so alves you've aged out Yeah, big time although I did think the mom was was kind of hot and actually remember anyone from that Yeah, she was great, and you also passed up cops which I still watch on Saturday night. I watch it But I get angry now when I watch it at the cops are at the cops really. Yeah. Yeah, you're like that guy alone Just no, maybe those aren't his pants. It's just the they're constantly just violating people's constitutional rights. Yeah But they're my family and they they rely on the fact that the people that they're arresting don't know anything about the law But you've just described America tongue. Yeah, I know it's sad. I do like I pops the only show where I've literally heard people use the excuse These aren't my pants. I've seen that 20 times. I've seen that I'm like I have never once worn pants that are not mine I have and if I was wearing pants that weren't mine. I don't think I'd be shocked to discover it I'd be like wait a minute. These aren't my pants. That's a very unlikely. I don't think they're shocked They're just they're lying. Yeah, that's what they are. I've I've won my mother's pants on a bi accident Well, she's the same size as me right and has the same taste in pants Are those no ones that say like pink on the button? No, no, but the way the only way I'll figure it out is the zipper flap is Opposite right right so because women's penis is on the other side They dress to the left so you miss out on you miss out on elf you missed out on cops There's a pretty good movie on Cinemax called under the boardwalk. That's on that night with kid coogan in it That's a pretty good like summer beach movie and you passed up on the USA Network Saturday Nightmarist Which was on every Saturday night? They showed a horror movie from 8 to 10 and they showed the Australian vampire movie thirst Which is a pretty cool movie from 1979 that I am a fan. I'm sorry. I let you down Pretty good. I mean I'm using pretty good. So it also means you did two hours So you didn't have to pick anything else at 730 amen was on which I wasn't a huge fan of it was also Though I hated that yeah, I've watched it because I used to that was the black touch by an angel, right? No, no the amen was the Sherman Helmsley and he was the Deacon. Oh, yeah Yeah, I hated it went to 270 men totally hidden video was on which was Fox's rip off of candid camera Right, but what I would have gone with it 830 was MTV spring break 1990 from South Padre Island, Texas and Daytona Beach, Florida I would have definitely watched that coverage I would have also but I was there in my hotel room watching lean on me Yes, yes, I went to Daytona Beach because they got HBO so I can watch the lead on me Nine o'clock would have gone with golden girls absolutely would have been my choice and 930 I probably would have gone with empty nest even though I was not a fan of that shit. That's Craig T Nelson. No, that's coach Who's empty nest Richard Mulligan? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, not a good show So that is Saturday night. You went with that Joe. It's not that guy's real name. No, it isn't Zuzu needs to find a guy whose last name is Joe Azuzu and have him in our ads Yeah, but that's what the cock company's scram with Joey Toyota. I gotta find this Jimmy Honda So that's a good good call on that one. So let's move on to Sunday night 8 o'clock. What do you got? I did. I don't know if I'm being lazy or I just like movies better than television at 8 o'clock on HBO stand by me is on stand by me's classic. Yeah, classic We knew a guy who used to date a girl who was really ugly and looked exactly like Ray Brouwer You know when they go find him and he's gonna cross out This girl looked exactly like Ray Brouwer and like occasionally you'd slip up and like you call her Ray Brouwer The full name. Yeah, yeah, it was always Ray Brouwer. I was like are you bringing Ray Brouwer and he was like what? I'm like, oh, I mean your girlfriend. Did anyone have a hook up with Ray Brouwer? No, no, they didn't go out too long. There was also this room Another friend of mine had a girlfriend who had what people described as a pimple goatee and So they used to call her the pimp goat And and someone once slipped up and called her that in front of him and he never figured it out No shit the pimp goat pimple goatee. So stand by me is a great movie Yeah, and it would been around for a while though Is that one of those movies that if it's on you have to sit and watch it? Yeah, every time Regular TV or unedited I will watch stand by me from any point pretty much Yeah, but if you can catch it from the beginning with the narration. Yeah, Richard Dreyfus narrating for the very first word He's stabbed in the throat. Yeah, he's died. He's trying to break up the fight I like I think someone just someone should Combine scenes from stand by me with scenes from what about Bob? I just have a weird Richard Dreyfus mashup Like just change the narration to things he says and what about Bob? Right, I would be amused by that, but I just don't know the time of that kind of keeper So I probably would have gone with the marx funny some videos cuz it was Sunday night That's generally what I did and he had a documentary on called who killed Martin Luther King Which somehow was a 60-minute documentary, but I feel like it should have been two minutes And they would have been like James O'Rae back to you and then just gone to the next thing But not a bad not a bad move. You also passed up true believer which you discussed briefly that true believe her was Martin Sheen's movie about a cult. Yes, the kidnap is son or something New York Yeah, and you know, you know how movies come out with like in groups where they all kind of other things Yeah, I think true believer was radar I don't know if it was right around the first power the serpent in the rainbow in the rainbow That was 86 the serpent in the rainbow. Oh, wow. I think true believer was let's see if it says here I think it's 88. Yes, it is. I think it is 88. They give true believer three stars. It was all right I remember saying it's even as a kid. I remember seeing it and enjoying it like they're saying it's better than lean on me They go three stars violent strong language a drug lawyers attempt to exonerate a convicted murderer played by Yuki Okamoto Wait, that comes to struggle for self redemption. That's not that's your I was correct I said true believer is the Martin Sheen movie true believer stars James Woods and Robert Downey Jr. Well, all we know so far is The true believer. Yeah It's not the one with munching. No, are you sure it's not the same movie without the S? I'm pretty sure they're two different movies to believe you're the true believers. Would you make sense? It's a cult. It's what I think I liked. Yeah So you went with that movie at 8 30 would have gone with Elvis which was a short-lived very expensive drama half hour drama every week about Elvis that started Michael Jink the St. Gerard it took place in the early 50s and it only lasted about eight episodes It was a pretty cool show And then at nine o'clock I definitely would have gone with Marra children even though in hindsight It's a pretty bad show. It's pretty bad, but at the time it was cutting a huge huge show. I easily would have gone with it 9/30 the very first real dysfunctional family Full dysfunction, but I see where they didn't like each other. There was no happy message But I feel like Roseanne was a more realistic portrayal. Oh, absolutely and this actually has come up I think every podcast so far how I feel like Marra children was poverty a poverty minstrel show It was like poor people blackface like it was like so offensive to blue collar Yeah, poor people and it was not made to make them look good or actually document their struggles like Roseanne was Right. It was just like a cartoonish. Yeah, let's laugh at look at these Trashy dirty trashy poor people. Yeah, which I found somewhat effective shoe salesman. Yeah, yep So and then at eight third I mean at nine thirty I probably would have gone with open house Which was also on Fox did not like it, but I was too lazy to change the house open house was actually only generous was on it And it was a sitcom about people who worked in a real estate office I don't remember that so this one this episode says everyone expects Margot's brother to be a sad Zach But he becomes a coveted commodity when the brokers learn. He's a wildly successful investment counselor. I Would not watch that show based on that description me neither But it wasn't a great show, but I watched it The matter with children that night was actually a really good one because it has Joe Flaherty as a guest star He was a dentist excruciating pain forces Al to see Marcy's dentist a man dedicated his profession almost as much as he is to this week's dental assistant At that time I had a dentist who was the most sadistic evil man on earth. He learned dental Dentistry in the Korean War He said he wouldn't use Novocaine and his quote was what do you mean he wouldn't he refused to use it? So what did he do to nothing nothing just rip your face up? Yeah, so if I had fillings no Novocaine and his quote was Novocaine is for fairies. That's what he said So I had a few fillings when I was a kid would hurt very badly because he didn't use Novocaine So I would cry even with the Novocaine. I still cry. Yeah, he used to call me little misread and Princess Yeah, I had a dent to slap me once nice cuz I cuz I was trying to get away from the giant needle that he was gonna Novocaine me. Yeah, and I was crying and I was like 19 years old still so we open hand slapped me across the face Yeah, and I remember leaving the dentist's office being like can I tell anyone about this? I don't think he's supposed to hold for you 7 8 9 here's what my dentist did Do you remember the fluoride treatments and they'd be awful flavors like yes fruity and bubblegum? So I was about eight years old and I said hey, did they ever have unflavored? Fluoride and he goes oh, you majesty Oh, you know what a special order it for you, and I was like, oh, thank you. So I go back sounds like yeah awful awful so I go back. Oh, his hair was always sticking up to because he said that quote Conditioner is for fairies. So his hair is always a mess But he goes he goes I go back for my six month six months later, and I come in and he goes Oh everybody he's here little miss read the princess We got your special auto fluoride in and I'm like oh great So I go in he puts his stuff my mouth, and it was the most bitter stuff I ever tasted I started gagging and he goes yeah, yeah now you know why they flavor it Wow I was like you could have just been like no we don't have unflavored Fluoride because it's very bitter and instead he's special ordered it to two or three with six months. Oh Two and eight year old What did you still go to this guy no I didn't go to the dentist for like eight years after that right yeah But I would have easily had Joe Flaherty as my dentist instead is my point that I'm trying to make there So Sunday night we move on to Monday the saddest night of the week you've gone back to school You've gone back to work you want something that's really gonna take you away that night. What do you got at eight o'clock? Oh 21 Jump Street classic show. Yeah, this was a couple years in about four years into 21 Jump Street Yeah, Richard Greco has left at this point to be in Booker. Yep. I saw if looks could kill that year But we still have the fat kid and Depp Peter Delouis and Depp were still on it. I I was watching 21 Jump Street last year and someone told me I love how Greco thought he was this oh yeah, he's the star not Johnny Depp. Yeah, I know clearly not And Holly, what was her name Holly? She was on Hang on mr. Cooper later black girl with the light skin curly doggy Wasn't she on class class or the head of the class? No, you're thinking of Robin Givens But 21 Jump Street. Her name was Holly Think of it later, but uh did she also get beat up by Mike Tyson? No. Yeah, I see beat up all black women No, but she's saying the theme song to 21 Jump Street. She actually Jump 21 Jump Street But Peter Delouis was watching an episode a few months ago because I still watch these things Of course and my hair was looking a little shaggy and it looked a little molly And someone said to me you get a real Peter Delouis thing going on So I tweeted that quote and then hashtag it. Why did I punch you and then um Peter Delouis's wife tweeted back going you should be so lucky and was really mad and then was like what's your problem with my husband and Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I was yeah, so I was like, oh, I was just she follow you on Twitter No, she must have just been searching for a lot of 20 people. I don't know if I do. I don't usually don't check I don't check either. Um, you don't check my Twitter. No, Jesus Tom. Some friend you are Um, so then I was like, oh, I was just talking about his haircut in 21 Jump Street And then she wrote back after being real mad. She goes moment city She writes me back later and goes Um, I was like my husband thought it was really funny that I was defending his honor Online that's pretty funny. I'm like, okay. This is how the world works now where you can be like nice hair dickhead Hey, fuck you. I was kidding. Hey, we're friends now. That's how the that's how the internet works. So Peter Delouis I got to him what episode would I have watched? So this would have been Hanson and Penhall, which is Johnny Depp and Peter Delouis Outgrowing their McQuaid aliases uncover a girl who might wait. Yeah, they both went by the name McQuaid They were playing brothers, if I remember. Okay. Um, outgrow their aliases uncover a girl Who kidnapped her baby sister while Penhall adjust to his own dadhood Peter Delouis has just had a kid in this. Oh, yeah, that's when I stopped watching the show. Yeah, this episode I hate children, uh, Dietrich barter is in it as a guest star Dietrich barter. Yes. He was on, um, the Drew Carey show He's an office space. He plays the molded dude who lives next door He doesn't see him and stuff. Yeah, yeah, I don't want you come screwing up my lap. Exactly. That's usually butter Uh, so that's an hour long show. So you would have gone from eight to nine with that Uh, I probably would have gone with 21 Jump Street. I think uh, Sunday nights. It was a fun show I mean monday nights are it was a fun show, uh, but monday nights. I usually watched uh The cbs lineup, which was usually pretty great But this particular night they didn't have anything on at eight o'clock that I really wanted to watch Because they were in sort of a transitional time and at eight o'clock Major dad was on which I was not a fan of Not a fan of major dad. Although I did envy Gerald mcgrandy being married to delta berg who I had quite a thing for You had to think of delta berg. She's like a hotter katie perry Oh, a little bigger. Well, she got bigger later, but have you ever seen young delta berg? Yeah, she was Wow. Yeah. She was hot, but never Don destiny. I have to point you to my wall of celebrity biographies and delta berg's auto biography there that I think you should read The next road trip. I think you'll have a newfound respect for her Also, we passed up my two dads paul risers Fantastic. I enjoyed that two season show good show this particular episode Joey's obituary appears in print prompting a barrage of art collectors desperate for work by the late artist I remember that episode equally desperate to keep the momentum going by staging his own funeral. Yep I remember that I was there that happened in quite a few sitcoms where someone's obituary was Accidentally printed and they weren't dead that happened in night court. I've never heard of that happening in real life Yeah, yeah, I don't think that's a real thing I did know people who as a practical joke would do that to people Yeah, I actually pulled one that blew up and you know pulled some you had someone I know I told some girl that her ex-boyfriend had died And then were you trying to go out with her? Is that why? No, no, no, I was just drunk and being a douche And uh It was actually at the dikdardies comedy fault. We were all down there playing cards Was he there the night before and he died of embarrassment? No, it was Ben Boym is the comic and oh, yeah, so everyone thought he was dead Well, I'm the one that started that we have every one accident people just assumed that Well, the funny thing about that is like two months ago bobsight bell called me up and was like is Ben belle? I'm dead I did that seven years ago. Yeah, well Seven years bad looks what happens when you face well sidebell then goes Uh, next time you do something like that, uh, make it me Yeah, and I was like, uh, everyone's gonna believe that when I was a t maybe just wanted you to kill him It was a flutch. He was hiring you to murder him, but actually wanted to do it. Yeah, um, I uh I used to be a much angrier person when I was a teenager and I researched uh, many ways to get revenge on people And I figured out a way to have someone declared legally dead which involved paying someone to uh, write a death certificate, uh from heedy and uh I calculated that if you did that it would screw them a big time because all their accounts would be frozen Right couldn't get credit and it would take years to prove they weren't dead. Right. I never did it, but I got close Right close Oh, okay. I can't disclose. He's not adam west. It wasn't adam west. No, it wasn't a celebrity Uh, but what a friend of mine used to do Two things was one he would get the want ads would not in the newspaper But that that the one ad there's a newsprint thing and he would put an ad in there That would say like a brand new transam uh 2,500 bucks have to have court costs put the person's number and say call anytime All right, because once that thing was printed they couldn't pull it back and it was out for at least the full two weeks Right. So the next so that would guy would get calls around the clock from dudes. We're like, hey, man I want to get that trans man. I was in training. Yeah, so that came up a lot and then someone else I knew They used to it when a company would go out of business. They would publish their tax ID number in the newspaper And so if they declared bankruptcy or went out of business And I don't think it works this way now But there was a lag time between when they declared it and when the number was inactive So you could take that number and put leans on people's credit as that company So you could be like, uh, this is pets.com and tom duster knows us $30,000 and then the company would go out of business and then it would go on their credit report So he used to do this to people all this time and they could it took forever to sort out because they'd have to like Get records from this company that hasn't existed in years and they wouldn't find out because they don't let you know buddy Yeah, yeah, yeah, this guy used to work with what does he do now? He's not allen green span But he used to do it to like kids that bullied him in high school like they'd go to try to get a mortgage for a house And they're like I don't owe cosmo.com 30,000 Some company that's been up is for eight years, but it would it would take years to pay off Well, they wouldn't pay it off. It would no no. I mean for it. Oh, yeah. Oh, it was a long con Yeah, it was when when you get these liens they don't alert you it'd be like when they had to go trying to buy a car or something Yeah, it would just pop up on your What that is yeah, and then then you have to find people who worked for that company that doesn't exist anymore So they can be like no, it's not us all right good luck to you I always thought a good one would be when I was in high school I I there was a kid that used to pick on me in high school And I always thought a good one was to to make up the lead ahead from a doctor's office Right and uh and just a sad letter telling him he has AIDS and then drop it in the hallway That would be bad. Well, most doctors don't give you medical Yeah, but kids in high school don't know that I convinced my sister. She was adopted when she was three Was she no she wasn't but I told her we what I did was I told her she was adopted and we adopted her Wait, you convinced her when she was three. Yeah, I told her we adopted you at age two Because most people don't remember before they were two So I took all the photos of her from two and under and hid them And I showed her some adoption papers which she couldn't read and she thought she was adopted And then I forgot to tell her it was a joke Years later, she got in an argument with my mother a couple years later and she came out with uh I know you're not even my real mother and then I was like, oh shit Oh my god, uh tell her that was a joke Yeah, she got over it That was that was a pretty good one. That was a pretty good one Yeah practical jokes Um, so where were we? 21 jump 20 jump Street this is monday night. Yep. So and then at 830 I would have gone with the hogan family even though I absolutely hated sandy Duncan and uh, she's probably my least very personal Uh, so nine o'clock. What'd you go with uh alien nation the tv tv show? Yeah, what a what a great movie A great movie james con one of his finest roles. I think it would go thief Alien nation those would be my top two james con so alien never seen thief I don't know. I think michael man's first movie james con plays at jewellery thief Actually june blue. She's in it. He says like for it's it's an awesome, but you love the I love james con You gotta see thief. I will just come on on a criterian blue ray about two weeks ago Uh, so you should check that out a lot of special effects I should a lot of special edition a lot of there's a lot of special features Uh, so you went with uh alien nation and I I always thought it was weird When they would show like sexy aliens an alien. Yeah, you'd see like those weird freckles go all the way down Yeah, she's got cuz the freckles were almost like their hair. Yeah, you know, so she had good freckles big spots on her head Right. They were like. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and they got drunk off of spoiled milk. Yeah, bad milk was Yeah, I think alien nation was a pretty good move there. Uh, we're in march 19th It's there's a lot of reruns on so alien nation wasn't Was I what I should have did was pick a september or october issue and then I could have watched all the new shows Yeah, the new show, uh, but also what you didn't pick was the american comedy awards on abc Um, this was the fourth annual ceremonies honoring excellence in 15 categories covering tv film and stand-up Scheduled highlights include a tribute to gary marshall with henry winkler ron howard and robin williams Repar tae between newlyweds rosanne bar and tom arnold Notes on comedy in the news by linda elerby and appearances by betrous arthur bob sagg at harryanderson Applegate bob goldthwaite and gilbert godfrey. Awesome. So that's what you passed up that year Yeah, but it was a good episode of alien nation that had better been a good episode of alien nation Normally i probably would go with designing women and um murphy brown. I never watched designing women What a great show again. Delt about women who designed things. Yeah, they run a design you lost me up the first word Oh, but it's a really funny show. Uh, any pots who I love was on it is a really funny show I think you'd enjoy it this episode feeling fat and unattractive since olivia's birth Charlene begins to doubt bill's fidelity especially after he's given a top secret mission and a new female cock pit partner You had me a cock. Yeah, as soon as I said cock pit you're in Um, I remember I was in austin texas once and uh there Which is there's a lot of gay bars in austin texas because if you're gay in texas, you have to go to austin Right. I think that's the law there. It's the safe haven in texas Because everyone's like, oh you're gonna love austin. I apologize if anyone from austin is listening But uh austin's a great city if you've never been anywhere Austin's a great city. It's one street if you grew up in texas Yeah, oh you've never been austin is like going to west berlin Yeah, you're like wow people don't hate you because you're not the same kind of white Yeah, um, yeah, but there's a lot of gay bars there and there was uh one problem It's supposed to be like the most progressive city in texas, which is yeah like saying the world's tallest midget Um the fanciest denny right And it's it's one street with just bars with cover bands in it So they're like a lot of music capital the world. I'm like perfect if you like journey Uh, but um and a really good whole foods, uh, but good barbecue and then nice people Uh, but um I was down there and I just noticed all the gay bars and one of them was called the cockpit Which made sense to me, uh, which you know classic name for a gay bar manhole Yeah, but one of them and I don't know if this is just if i'm naive and this is a thing that I don't know about Was called rodeo clown Okay, do you know what that reference is? I figure if anyone knows it's tom dustin gay bar fishing hot Uh Bulls and riders. Yeah, that's what i was gonna. I was like rodeo clown. It seemed jumping too. Like there was a lot to make it in He has a thing rodeo is just in general pretty gay. Okay. Uh, cause of the eight seconds then Yeah Share us in that movie. What was it? Jason Priestley called eight seconds. It wasn't Jason Priestley was Luke perry in eight seconds Yeah, I remember right. Yeah, I'm gonna get eight seconds, man. Yeah. Yeah, so that's uh, I don't even know how we got there Oh cockpits all right on to Tuesday night Tuesday night eight o'clock. What do you got? I'm watching cheers Cheers was a good one. This was uh towards the end of the series, right? Uh, this is actually Uh, local chicago uhf station was showing reruns of cheers, so this wasn't first run Uh, but this does have Amanda Weiss in it who was in night run Elm Street Which one was she she was uh, the one that gets killed in the beginning on the ceiling She's the guest star in this episode as Beth. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. She's flung around the room. Oh, yes She flung it with blonde. Uh, Amanda Weiss. Yeah. Yeah. She's also in better off dead She plays um the girl that dumps john q sec at the beginning. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I like the french girl in better off dead Oh, yeah, what was her name? That is uh, diane franklin She just wrote an autobiography. She's wrote on a biography. Uh, that's pretty decent Yeah, she's in a ton of movies You ever play those games where you get a guess, you know, uh, movie movies and actors, you know connect a trivia. Yeah, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, you must be amazing It's here's the thing. I can't do. I can't remember any female actresses name really I mean female just females Yeah, for the most part I play a lot of games like we were on road road trips and shit will play Like how many named 25 tom grooves movies, okay, and you do that. Yeah, and i'm good at Most of them, but if you try to give me a woman named 13 Meryl street films. I'm done. I think I could name diane franklin's entire philosophy See i'll never play that game with yeah, she was in terra vision. I kind of remember Yep, she was in the last american virgin. Yep. Oh, I do remember that. Yeah, what a bomb out She's doing it gets the abortion. Yeah. Yeah, she's in a ton of stuff And yeah, you should buy her book. You'd enjoy it. Uh, it's on my wall of celebrity autobiographies I can how many of those you got on tape? Uh, I only have one so i've two i've i've steve martin's on tape which one Uh born standing up. That's what i listened to them. Yeah, that's really was awesome And i have rupert everts on tape, which is really good. Uh, rupert everts great Um, so we go with you went with cheers. It was a rerun I probably would have gone with either who's the boss which i never liked but watched every week mostly because i like to listen Moana or i would have gone with rescue 9-1-1, which was a hilarious show rescue I remember that William shatner hosted it yep They played actual 9-1-1 calls and then reenacted yes the things that was pretty awesome I remember watching that with my family. Hey, was the gulf war on during this i didn't the gulf war starting Later in 1990 wasn't i feel like it was around. Yeah, it's uh springish Yeah, I don't remember the gulf war very well. I remember voices that care the song they put out to uh benefit the gulf war I remember seeing p uh peter Whatever the guy's name was he uh put his gas mask off and uh on and peter jennings No, it wasn't peter jennings. It was a cnn reporter who was back and forth with wolf blitzer Okay, he was in the field in saudi arabia. Well, this guy Peter del oeze Peter del oeze He had fucked up hair. Yeah Nice. All right, so you go with cheers uh 830. What do you got? Um, I'm watching the wonder years perfect wonder years. This was pretty much at the height of the wonder years It was a repeat on this episode Midsize mini series turn into full length woes as the family's aging station wagon sputters to its death Generating hope that dad will finally get a new car I remember that episode and he does get a new car And was there a more terrifying tv dad than the dad from the wonder years? He was scary and never showed his feelings. It just looked like he was gonna deck ya Yeah, he starred in the boston production of a christmas story this year He's been in a ton of stuff. I remember the guy's face. Oh, yeah He is a harsh man, but that was the wonder he did get a car in the end But that episode was all about the negotiations in the zeal she loved which uh, because i sat and watched that episode with my father Who was a cod deal right? And you used to sell cars with dad as well. So who side were you on in that episode? Um, I want I was the same side. I'm always I want everyone you're the customer side I want everyone to win. I want everyone to come up I want the the guy selling the car to get paid for selling the car and the customer to get a good deal All right, let me ask you this as professional Now my car is about two years old. Yeah, and the dealerships constantly calling me to trade it in Right. They had no at no cost to me To trade it in with for no for a brand new car For nothing for nothing and i'm like you're screwing me somehow and I can't figure out how But I think it's just because they have to sell it on the lease, right? No, no, it's I own the car Uh, and I oh no, no, they'll they'll say no cost to you What they're saying is they're not gonna charge you anything to trade your car So here's the thing but what they'll do is they they look at what you all do you own the car outright? No They look at what you all versus what it's worth, right? And and And when I say what it's worth what it's worth to them, right? Not to a retail custom. Yes. Yes, and so they'll figure out what what you actually y'all on the car If it's only two years old, you haven't even touched the principle yet. You know I have I put some money down. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, so Let me tell you what up in the last time. It's if it sounds too good to be true That's what I'm saying but so two years ago. I had a two-year-old Honda They did this to me and I went in there and I go, okay. I got three years left on my loan This is gonna be fascinating to the listeners by the way. Yes. I drive a Honda I get a 2012 Honda Civic. I had a 2010 Honda Civic and they're like we really need to use the inventory So I'm like, yeah, I'm not going down there and then I go all right. I have some time on a Saturday I'm going on there make a ridiculous demand. Mm-hmm. So I'm down there. I go three years left on my loan I will trade this in for you with you if I get a brand new one I'm not putting anything down and I'm not having more than three years on my loan I'm not paying any more every month and they said okay And I'm like somehow I got screwed here and I don't understand a year to the No, no I had 36 months because that's a typical thing The dumbest customers come into a car lot and go I want my payment to be $200 a month. It's just stupid You gotta tell me I can make it I can make anybody's payment to but you're paying for 25 years for eight years. Yeah 60 84 months. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I remember right 96 months. I did 96 months loan to a little old lady's home I worked in a cell I quit that business because I couldn't sleep. Yeah, I worked in a cell phone. It's not as bad as it used to be Well, is anything yeah, I worked in a cell phone store for a summer at a mall And I remember these and I was made the inadvertent manager because the manager got caught having sex with one of the employees in the back room And I had to fire them even though he was my boss. You fired your own boss. Yeah The general manager called up and asked what they were doing and I'm like, I don't know like he knew and then he goes You need to go in there and fire him. This is all real time. You took the phone call and he's he's entering this broad I mean, I didn't see it. I didn't check. All right. Yeah, um, but they used to smell like I don't know what that smells like it smelt like new carpet I don't know. I think that was just the store and uh, they would go into the mall and literally get like mentally challenged people And have them come in and sign up for cell phone contracts And I used to void them and they were like, dude, I'm not giving my fucking commission I'm like, yeah I really can't work at a place where people are getting people with mental disabilities to sign up for cell phone contracts I saw them mentally challenged tittica once and that was kind of car Uh dodge gremlin a GMC gremlin amc what was a gremlin? It was uh like a eight-year-old dodge shadow. Nice. It was his two-door The plimp plimmoth son dances the equipment. So was it maybe that met his needs It did meet his needs, but he paid too much for the car And I left the dealership shortly after that because I felt really bad with yourself I felt really bad about it. He paid to he could have he got the car he wanted. He just paid Probably three times what it was worth. What did you get? What did you do with your commission from that? I bought mountain bikes from me and my girlfriend. Nice. Nice. Nice. Huffy. Nice. Huffy. Uh, they were treks. Nice. Murray They were true Kids used to get made fun of big time in my school. No, they were uni vegas Uni vegas Murray was the was the I had a Murray kids got made fun of big time. I thought that that's what all bikes were Yeah, I remember there were kids like that was just you might as well had a In my in my growing up Huffy was lower than Murray. Really? Yeah, well that flipped. Huffy was In my recollection in my youth. Murray was the cheese nips of our neighborhood. The flights. Yeah. Yeah, zips. Yeah Uh, so at nine o'clock. What do you get? I was watching one to use. That was at eight thirty Oh, I tape it and watch it again. Yeah Oh, no, oh, I know what happened I actually flipped back over to HBO to watch the end of standby me again So you watch the end of stay by me instead of watching Roseanne Yes, wow, so you were you not a fan of Roseanne? I didn't like the I didn't find any of the daughters attractive. So that was what made you watch a show Yeah, what shows did you find the daughters attractive on jasmine guy? She was not a I guess she was a daughter, but you watch the different world which we'll get to later because you're really into jasmine guy I like that again. Nice. I did. She probably still looks good. She doesn't. She does a lot of jazz singing now. Yeah, she's jazzy I believe she's from the Boston area. Tom. She I met her a couple times her and Tracy Bingham Another attractive lady of color. Uh, she was on baywatch. She she's she She was uh, she was the subject of many a lie in the mid 90s because people would be like Yeah, I was hanging out with maki mak and I totally made out with Tracy Bingham That that came out a lot. A lot of people used to make up that lie. Really? Yeah, that that was frequently said Some guy pulls up on a Murray I don't know about that Tom's leaving. Oh, he's get it. He's cold. I'm cold. Okay. My house. I keep my house very cold Yeah, you do. Um, I forgot to mention that um, so yet, uh, you watched the last half of uh Stand by me. So did you pick anything for 930? No, no, I I that night Tuesday night. I just watched cheers and wonder years And then an hour of stand by me. Well, I had to take it all in so you didn't watch coach Which was the correct? No, I didn't like coach. It's a terrible terrible guy. Oh, no That was luther Yeah, he was like low wings. Here's the thing on coach though. Everyone was the dumb guy Thomas ate in church a little from wings was was wings was a great show Uh what I would have done at 830 instead of watching coach was I would have watched the movie the blue iguana on cinemax Was that it sounds like it'd be a sex movie It's not it was weird. It was like it's really weird. Yeah, it's a horror movie Blue iguana they give two stars violence strong language. Send up of 1940s. Oh, you know what? It's not this is a different movie that i'm thinking of this movie is from 1988 called true believe us It's called true believe it now. This is send up of 1940s gangster flicks about a private eye What's the movie? I'm thinking of the blue the blue monkey. That's what i'm thinking. No the uh blue velvet Oh, no blue velvet. I'm very familiar with I saw that movie in the theater when I was six years old I saw it when I was 17 and still don't get it. It still bothers me to this day That's a great movie. I just remember running the lines where he's like Hey, man. You want to go for a ride? It's like go where for a ride. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so I probably would have watched blue iguana And it would have taken me a half hour to figure out it wasn't the blue monkey But jessica harper was in it who i'm a big fan of see again You keep saying these actresses jessica harper is in the dario gen two movie syspira Uh, she is in the movie um serves. That's like the classic weird bloody right great Yeah, she's in that she's in fannah with a paradise the brine department Uh, she writes cookbooks now and we're facebook friends Uh, so wednesday night eight o'clock tom deston. What do you go with? Uh eight to ten baby clash of the titans going clash of the titans See you miss see I would have gone with growing pains. Uh, which was a huge fan of it wasn't it tailing off then Uh ended two years after this my favorite seasons of growing pains were season three and season four Which was when did the when did the stories of the girl having bulimia stop Come around 1990. Yeah, I stopped watching. I don't know you couldn't watch her waste away. Uh, yeah, uh, a show that has bulimia fair enough, um In this other titans was a uh a movie with um la law zone la law. Yeah, it was um, what's his name mark? No, no haml ham Yep, you're almost there Hamlin hamlin hary hamlin hary hamlin. There we go. Uh and a in a uh, an owl made of a old clock It was remade uh two years ago last year. Yeah, that's the release not as good as the origin Yeah, if you know anyone who says release the cracking as a joke, they're the least funny person on earth Right. I always say release the bees Uh, see I always say um meet for the beast Which is from night breed I don't know that one you ever seen night breed 1990 Clive barker. There's a really weird line I don't know why this stuck in my head there. Uh, there's like this monster and the other monster's trying to talk him out of killing this guy And he goes he's meet Meet for the beast and then he just like oh I did that drum and takes a bite out of him I did see that yeah, so I for some reason I always quote that like inappropriately and I don't know I don't think there actually is an appropriate way to quote that I liked uh, I liked clash of the titans. Uh, the medusa pot was always great. That's pretty terrifying. Yeah, yeah Super heads are um, I would have gotten there's a couple choices So I would have gone with growing pains unsolved mysteries was also on which is a classic show scared the hell out of me every week He's dead robert's dad. He is dead. He's been dead for a while. There's a comic in from main who does an amazing robert's dad Oh, that's timely. Yeah, so uh, he hasn't written anything new in quite a while He can also do any any weapon he can impersonate any weapon Well, someone argue robert's sack was a weapon that man he was on the untouchables Uh, I wouldn't have watched on soul mysteries this night No, because it was a boring episode It was a segments on a southern bell who according to this report built investors out of millions in a pyramid scheme And then a colorado vietnam veteran search for a fellow soldier what a boring episode no ghosts no ufos But that night there was the debut of a new show called normal life that didn't last very long But it was about moon unit zappa and tweezle zappa and uh, they lived together They were basically playing themselves and it's his modern family life featuring the harlows the dad played by max gale Who you may know from bony miller. He was uh, well joe Uh, and syndi williams who was on uh levern and shirley 22-year-old test by moon zappa 19-year-old jake tweezle zappa and 13-year-old simon and the opener simon tries to eclipse jakes legendary performances on the basketball court why local theft spur tessin to joining the neighborhood watch Doesn't really sell me on the show, but I did enjoy it I think I would have watched that show had it had it not been called. What's it called normal life? Yeah, they should have called it moon unit and do easel Yeah, I really like the zappas We were in LA a couple weeks ago and we saw moon unit zappa perform on a show and it was like one of the greatest moments of my life She's like 45 hot She's she's looking good. She's she's got a uh, a unique look that is uh attractive. How's do easel doing? I think he's doing all right. I don't keep in touch with him so much these days Why don't you call morgan freeman ask if he knows? So you went all night with with clash of the titans so you also missed out on head of the class I liked the head of robin givens as we mentioned earlier in a couple of comedians were in that right? Uh, and head of class Well, um, uh, you had billy connley took over later very Um, sobble sobble in there. No, he was on 227 He's also on family ties in an episode. Did he get a spin-off show? No, berry sobble Had a like a week long lived spin-off show where he was a teacher Are you thinking of tom? Tom What the hell is the key so bad? I'm gonna die. Oh, you want to pause so you can pay can we pay? Yeah, that's pausing p or pausing so tom that's what I I Is bladder emptied, uh, you went to my hawaii bathroom. Yeah, yeah people enjoy that. It's good grass on the floor It does have grass on the floor. There's a view master in there. I saw that. Yeah, so if you're on the toilet, you can look at an Elvis doll 3d Yep, uh, hawaii and Elvis doll. Yeah, you have the coolest house ever. Oh, thank you Uh, so we were discussing head of the class, but it was also brought up that you the mountain bikes you got through nefarious means Not, uh, uh, no I didn't nothing, uh, intentional. Well, you're you stammering a little bit here, tom Nothing intentional. I went in to buy the mountain bikes Uh with my girlfriend. We picked them out. But I went in. What do you mean like guy with a van? It was actually Right here. Oh, uh, in my house. No, uh, on martville. Okay. Next to martville pausing They used to be a bike, uh, a big bike shop. Okay. I remember that. And they had an indoor of track and everything. Yeah, I remember that So we went in there. We tested out some mountain bikes my girlfriend and I and we decided we were gonna buy them. Yeah, that was our new thing We were gonna mountain bike and, uh, so I wrote a check for the total of the mountain bikes They were about 350 dollars each. Okay, check for about 700 bucks. Why do you got from this mentally challenged man? Yeah And, um Loaded up the bikes in the car and, uh, went home and bought the mountain bikes. The following day I was at work selling cars to mentally challenged people. Yeah, and I pulled out my wallet and inside the wallet Was the check I had written to the you flim flam this guy. I didn't flim flam. I just laid a hand and when he gave me back my id He must have gave me the check back as well. Did you make it right? Uh, no, this is what is happening So they called my home and I was living at home with my parents at the time. My father answered So they go, uh, hello mr. Dustin and goes, yeah Uh, uh, we we're calling from the bike shop. Um, there seems to be the the bikes you purchased We don't have the check for them. Yeah, blah blah and he goes, um 55 years old. I don't ride bikes What are you talking about? Hey, and they go on roller skate. That's what we thought and they hung up So they thought you were a scammer. That's still one of his checks. Yeah, which so I just that and I kept the bike Uh, the the bike place is out of business now. We know why they're out of business There where that bike place was there's now like a used sporting goods store. It played again. Yes, uh, it's a chain You know, I didn't want to give it away because their phone number is very similar to my home phone number And so I often get phone calls for them and depending on my mood. I will take the phone call But my favorite one was I got this message from this guy Was the longest message ever he's like, yeah, my name's uh john rogers and uh, it's the damnest thing my kid comes up to me He's like dad. I joined the golf team. I never thought he would have joined the girl team Anyway, so I got to get some clubs. I was one of you guys had those, uh, you know I used to play I haven't played quite a number of years and uh, you know Nothing too fast and it goes on and on and this is a message And the mic my phone. Maybe you call my house. It's like you've reached ken and rich will read it I had no way saying this is a sporting goods store And then he's like, uh, he's like so and this is like a five-minute message like, you know, call me back And i'm like dude just go down there like it's a store like it's not an appointment only I sometimes I forget that I have a similar number So I'll answer the phone and i'm never like sports store I'm always like hello and I hit someone go like you guys sell, uh hockey pads And i'm like no This is a house And just one time I want someone to be like, yeah, I know that So that's I blame you for that tom is my point. Yeah, so we moved on wednesday night We we've made it to nine o'clock. I watched clash of the titans all night still on clash of the titans all night Uh, I would have gone in night court. I was a huge. Oh, I loved night court This was a 60-minute episode. So this was a super-sized night court Yeah, the end of clash of the titans I had probably I had probably seen clash of the titans So if I could revise this as we're doing it I would have watched the beginning of clash of the titans and then the second and then night court Because this one is after jumping ship to a prestigious firm Dan has accused of blackmail suspended from practice and flat broke meanwhile christine and ross become diet buddies Don't remember that one. That's a great one. That's a great one I don't remember it because I was watching clash. You're watching clash of the titans Uh, so let's move on thursday night. This is usually everyone's easiest night to pick what they would have watched It's a slam. I didn't do. I didn't do slam dunk. You didn't slam dunk it. What do you got eight o'clock? I'm watching Cosby's Cosby show everyone watch Cosby's. Yeah. Yeah, that's a great show You really the only other thing you had on that time was father dawling mysteries, which no one wants to watch Uh, however the movie don't watch anything with a priest's name in it. No, but you love tom bozzly I'm just gonna accuse you of loving Tom bozzly. He was the dad on happy days, but he played father dawling Um, and uh the sister Tracy nelson who is the sister of the twin brothers from the band nelson Of uh after the rain who and ricky nelson's jutty. Yeah, uh, she was not related to jutty nelson He's from main jutty nelson his parents are lawyers. Didn't know that I actually uh harassed him once inadvertently We were standing outside of the kambridge port bar in uh central square Which is now out of business because they used to serve everybody. Yep, and instead of pretzels on the bar. They had do you remember? Potato salad just big bowls of potato salad out at this bar Uh, I think the bouncer got shot there and it got uh maybe because of the potato salad But I was at a punk rock show there and I was with some friends of mine who were standing outside And we saw this guy getting into a cab who looked like jut nelson And so people started getting like a two months bender and then saying this up to him and he goes, hey Fuck you and gave us the finger and gotten the cab and the next thing i'm reading the paper And there's a review of a play in boston starring jut nelson And i was like oh that guy was jut nelson Yes, uh main zone jut nelson so uh father down mystery is not great But also there was a movie called hell night on hell night hell night great movie linda blare Uh and uh one of the van paten's horror movie College horror movie Uh vampire is a prom Neither, okay, but tom dusson's new movie vampire prom everybody is going to start working on that script It's going to be a big deal. Uh 830. What'd you go with? jasmine guy different world great show spin-off of uh causeby show uh by this time it was uh Jasmine guy was like the hot female steve erkel No Well, she was southern steve erkel a southern bell no that episode a family manager steve erkel drank mint julipson You were a petty coat Wow, do you think they did did she have a hook line in there? She did right jasmine guy? Yeah, it was in the southern this was the time when she was dating dwayne wane on the show they who had the flip up glasses Oh, yeah, he did kadim heartleson was kadim. Yeah, he hosted friday night videos a lot. She was so classy She still is she's a classy lady tom. I love jasmine everyone loves you I met her a couple times I was a limousine driver in boston and I used to have to pick her up a tip Well, I know she didn't tip. I uh, uh, she didn't tip no people generally tip And the rule was like if they're like celebrities like that Typically they won't reach into their own pocket They they always got the feeling that they look at the limousine driver as it's garbage But that yeah, well, the the tip is hey you got to pick up jasmine guy. That's your tip That's a pretty good tip. Uh, that's why I booked you for this podcast I hate off I always preferred to meet like rich businessmen and lawyers and stuff like that because they would tip So you have similar tastes to a high-class prostitute. Yeah, I like money Right Who is who else did any celebrity ever tip you? Um Smokey robinson Creepy eyes She's in ado corner She's great She was uh, she she was super fun because she was like, uh She was one of the few that Didn't make me take her rate to the car and then go get her luggage and everything She waited with me in baggage claim and chatted with you and chatted and she took a phone call from her kids and she was like She was yelling at the kids. Um About 10 years, uh 10 or 12 years Okay, so late 90s. I love her first two albums. Oh, man. I listen to a lot of times She's excellent, but she was one day. She was cool to hang out. Yeah She seems like she'd be cool to hang out. Uh, Tom don't ever have kids Nice. Yeah, it's nice You could say if you're ever dating a woman and you're like, I can't have kids and she'd be like, why? And you're like, she ain't no con. I told me and I don't think anyone would argue like anyone you're dating will be like fair enough Yeah, I that's I can't argue with that She she she actually held up a picture of a kid and ripped it in half in front of you Yes, and she said here's the real evil Fight him, Tom Nine o'clock. What do you got? Uh, I only can watch till Oh, uh, I only picked Cosby's show in a different world. And then you're gonna go to bed. I call thursday black knight That's black night. Um thursday had a couple of black shows, but I wouldn't call so I watched Cosby show jasmine guy and then I think they show cops Cheers was on Tom. That's offensive Most of the people that get arrested on cops are white Yeah, I know with no shirt. No shirt. Just real piece of shit Yeah The only show I've ever seen people use the excuse that they I just put these on man. I know these aren't my pants I've never worn anyone else's pants. Uh, intentionally let alone Uh, let alone by accident. I don't think I've ever worn anyone's article of clothing by accident This isn't my shirt. I have on more than one occasion worn my mother's pants. Maybe a pair of my sisters Alvin's t-shirt by everyone's Alvin David's t-shirt not a t-shirt with a picture of Alvin David on it I'd wear it. That's an idea. I'd wear it. That's an idea. Uh, so I need new merch for the road. Yeah, Alvin David shirts Uh, so I would have gone with cheers at nine o'clock because it's cheers. You got to watch cheers. Yeah, how was that cheers episode? It was pretty good. So this was later in the kirsty alley era This is norm can't bring himself to boss around his new painting crew So he invents a stricter alter ego meanwhile sams not himself either after selling his vet So he sells his Corvette and he tries to get it back. I kind of remember that you would have liked this one He tries to build someone while while selling a car. Yeah, uh, I told you that's why I got out of the business Yeah, well at the time though 1990 you hadn't you hadn't had that epiphany. I just you know, I wanted it I wanted everybody to get simmel owned get simmel owned Uh at 9 30. I definitely would have watched the show grand which was a really underrated show It had bonnie hunt. It was one of my favorite human beings in the face of the planet Joel marry who's the most underrated marry brother. He's in one crazy summer. Okay. Yeah, yeah, you know, uh, michael mckian It was a great show. Uh, so janice compares rashes with edo romero Noris finds all you need is love to avoid a career as a dead comic Tom is tempted by an offer from japan Uh for caroline so some japanese guys try to buy his wife played by bonnie hunt. It was sort of like soap Uh grand. It was like a dramedy. It was on only on for for two seasons, but well written and really well written show great show Um, I remember I recommend you watch it. I own the whole series on dvd. You're welcome to book Uh, so that brings us to the final night in the tv guide week friday And what do you got eight o'clock friday? I'm watching full house I really would have thought you would have went with baywatch. I'd never watched baywatch This was when it was still on nbc. It was canceled after the first season and then went to first run syndication So erica elanik was on the show who you might remember from Oh, I saw that. Yeah, she's an under siege. She's never watched baywatch baywatch is entertaining Uh, but full house. I probably would have gone with full house at this time. I was a I watched syndicated baywatch. I was never a big full house guy either. That's good background show. It's a background show. Yeah, the original Uh premise of full house was three stand-up comedians living in a house And then the network made them add the thing about the kids Right, uh, but this episode's great. It's when joey goes on star search and ed mcman from low mass chucits Uh, is the guest star Did you ever watch star search? Did you do? Yeah, kind of uh There was a show called putting on the hits yes in the spinoff putting on the kids on the kids Yeah, uh putting on the hits was basically a karaoke people. No, it wasn't even you they were lip syncing lip syncing You didn't even sing a song. You just lip synced to the song in costume and did a dance And the guy who do you remember what the guy won with who was like the all-time champion of putting on the hits? No, it was the guy who did the curly shuffle Yes, the curling was like the ultimate champion of putting on the hits Me and my friends in 19 We must have been 10 or 12 years old to 11 years old. We were going on that show Uh, what's something we're gonna do? We're gonna do on a beastie boy song the paul revere Paul revere which would not have gotten on yeah, I don't know the hits Yeah, I know but we didn't know that at the time it dashed your dreams. He was old before it started Well, we never really followed through tom. You could be a famous lip syncing I mean that you could be the curly shuffle guy now You wouldn't have had to sell that car to that mentally challenged man If you if putting on the hits had gone well The mentally challenged man was the curly shuffle guy. He was the curly shuffle guy and he was very well off Uh, so full house decent decent episode as I said Um and steve odenkirk was in it stand-up comedian steve odenkirk playing himself. I'll never think that's a funny thing I'll never forget uh steve odenkirk doing Uh stand-up special where he he I'll never forget his name because he didn't want me to figure out his name Did a thing where he had his name came out on on why is and signs flash and right remote control Caudro by with a banner that's an old and cur and over the speaker it kept repeating old and cur and he makes all the thumb wars movies I don't know. Yeah, he makes parody. Well, he was for a while. I'm pretty sure the same guy was making parodies of movies What starring thumbs is he's not is he not related to bob odenk? No, he's not bill odenkirk Is related to ball of bob odenkirk is a writer for futurama. Oh, this is brother But i'm pretty sure steve odenkirk is not related to bob odenkirk Was the stand-up I saw do that thing i'll never forget the name because he did that because he did that thing well bob odenkirk which was his mission Mission accomplished uh 830 bob odenkirk is the funniest guy in america. He is very very funny Family matters. I didn't watch that you wouldn't have gone with that at 830. No, would you go with star trek next generation So the second half of star trek the next generation you went with i bailed on full house early Oh, you say you watched the first couple minutes of full house then just switched some star trek And to be honest, I had the world's first dvr. Oh nice. It's called it's called a vcr. It was spelled at that time Video cassette record. Did you use vcr plus? I I never understood what those numbers meant so the numbers you it was so you wouldn't have to program the vcr yourself You just put in the numbers and automatically did it it didn't work very well They also had one that they had little barcodes you could scan and now we have computers Uh, so what'd you do at nine o'clock? I watched the hitchhiker. The hitchhiker was fantastic Um the music to this day that that rattle and then yes scares the piss out of me hitchhiker is great This is by the rattle in all the rattles great. I have the whole series of the hitchhiker Uh, I also have uh this the soundtrack, but um, this was when a hitchhiker moved from hpl So it's started on a series and it was on late at night like I associate the hitchhiker with being scared and having a boner because It there was always nudity in it. Yeah in the shows immediately before and after do you remember who played the hitchhiker? There was actually two guys I can picture the guy's face page Fletcher knows his name Uh, he's gone on to do nothing, but here's the hitchhiker So it got canceled from hbo and they started airing edited episodes on usa network They cut out the breasts and it was so popular they brought it back Made for usa network. So the later episodes did not have the nudity and were less violent But it was on usa network for quite a while this show needed was less tips exactly Uh, this particular episode was a musician pays the price when he succumbs to greed and deceit Yeah, I think he sells his soul to the devil. Yes, every episode with someone selling his soul to the devil Yes, uh, I would have watched probably the hitchhiker would have been a good move 930, I absolutely know what I would have watched but i'm guessing you would have stayed on usa and watched rape red berry theater Probably because I would have been Scared from the hitchhiker right bad berry was less scary a little bit less scary I would have watched one of my probably my all-time favorite sitcom spent off of growing pains just to ten of us starring comedian bill kirk and bower as coach lubbock I kind of absolutely love this show. You know, I want to do this podcast again and just have parka luis can't luis be on Just talking about parka luis can is that was one of the best shows ever Fantastic. I love it holds up very well john pinnett's very well used on that show I was in the house You got to talk to him about parka luis I never thought to talk to him about that. He grew up up two blocks from where i met the mess Yeah, he uh, he believes that parka luis was ripped off by scrubs and he'll tell you about it Uh, but you should know how do you know that? I know thanks tone. Did you talk to him? I know what john pinnett believes and doesn't believe he ever asked him about the grudge match No, he's a crazy first if you ever since you remember the grudge match The grudge match it was a show on fox where it was if you take judge judy But instead of a judgment they made them box with giant oversized boxing gloves and john pinnets the referee I do that was the grudge match. Oh, that was awful John pinnett also starred in revenge of the nerds three a made-for-fox tv movie of revenge in the nerds where he played a german exchange student Yeah, and he's in the final episode of sign film of course. Yeah, but you should just finish doing a big broadway play Hairspray or the other thing. Oh, yeah. He did he play the divine role. He was Tracy turnblad's mother I don't know. Oh nice. I didn't know he's in that. Uh, but you should ask him about parka luis He was on the last he was on the last I don't get to work with him that much anymore You should get to work with them. Just so you can ask him about parka luis. He asked him and then just leave Don't even last time I work with him. He was like, uh, you scare me. Well, there you go. Just take a shower Um, oh they are they're kind of dirty. Yeah, so just the time of this particular episode is really great St. Auggie's hippos suffer from the agony and defeat after their star quarterback played by matt la blank from massachizet Yeah, uh gets dumped by windy But the coach has a plan to boost the team's score which one's matt la blank matt la blank was on friends. Okay, Joey Uh, also the other matt from friends was on just the ten of us as well who's also weirdly from massachizet's matt la blanks from newton I think just ten was a really good show it was coach lubbock on growing pains who uh that do you remember what that did you watch growing pains? Yeah, I did but I have a bad memory the high school team was called the dewy high hooters. Okay. Yeah, uh, so he got laid off He moved to california with his family to be the coach at this uh private Catholic school great show two seasons Fantastic show and who would attend his family that was his family so it's him and his wife and then they had eight children I remember just the eight of us or eight is enough eight is enough. Oof. What a terrible show. I hate it. It is enough Uh, yeah, eight is enough was like everything bad about the 70s Uh, so that brings us to to ten o'clock and that is the end of the week Uh, I will mention that at ten o'clock on friday nights I generally either watched 2020 and was the only show my parents forbidden me from watching Why? Uh, because I became afraid of everything medical waste at the beach. Uh, don't wear a lap seat belts You're gonna get recruited into a cult with flirty fishing Uh, don't watch horror movies. You're gonna get, uh, robbed at an atm Everything I was always scared of or I would have watched freddy's nightmare. Which was the friday the 13th Yes. Oh, my phone is wrong, which never ever rings. That's that signifies the end of the week. Yes The week the end of the week, uh, I will say this time before we end up here This is how we end every podcast tv guide as you know very informative, but it's also opinionated It doesn't just tell us what's on it judges it and it cheers and it jeers cheers and jeers So I will read you the cheers and the jeers of this week Oh, I love it and I will see if you agree or disagree with the cheer. I'll tell you when I used to get tv guide That's all I would read with the cheers and jeers and then I throw it away Someone should just do a magazine of cheers and jeers every week It's just a cheesy jeers report. So first of all cheers oddly enough This one is uh, is appropriate to what we were just discussing Tommando bizarro filmmaker john waters for his recent cameo as a twisted tour bus operator on 21 jump street Great episode. They go down to spring break and he runs a spring break break tour bus. Okay. I vaguely remember I would imagine you'd have to agree with that cheer I would have to what agree with that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's fine. John waters is one of my personal Yeah, yes, I like him because he's weird. Yeah cheers To recent episode of cbs's new heart and which michael a producer at a local tv station creates a sitcom for his wife Stephanie called cn double the show within a show starts Stephanie as identical twins judy and jody bumpter And dick as their unfortunate father who lost his wife in a fishing accident That is a great episode. This is the the really weird final season of new heart where a lot of the writers who went on to red get a life road Okay, I love to get a life. Yeah, if you like you had a life you would have loved the last season of new heart I didn't watch a lot of new heart new hearts one of my favorites I think I you know what I feel like I missed out on on bob new hot in general You should revisit him. So I'm gonna guess I'm gonna recommend you agree with that cheer But yeah, if you want to take take the fifth. Well, I mean, I love the idea for the show Uh, so then we have a mission accident We have our jeers for the week to the nbc tv movie in series pilot a family for joe Talk about pablum take four irresistibly cute kids Kill off their parents in a plane crash and throw in one nasty social worker threatening to split them up Who you gonna call a local street person of course Wait, what's this one called a family for joe? So I remember this they try to make this an adrama where robert mitcham plays a homeless guy who takes in these orphans They don't live in a museum I don't think you wouldn't mind talking about with the dot the the the the kid and his sister And their parents they run away and they live in a museum I have no idea what you're talking about. It's pretty awesome. So In new york city brother and sister run away and live in a museum. Yes Yeah, if people know what that is right in uh to the show because i'm i'm stumped by that I think i might be making this up. Did you suffer a head injury following off one of those bikes? There was a movie I watched one as a kid called um a little a little romance. Okay, do you know the movie? No, I don't know a little romance. Really? Yeah, it's about two young kids and they run over there they they run away from home and live in a museum No, no Uh, but it reminds me of that one. Okay, uh little romance that they're two young kids and they uh they fall in love and they Their parents won't let them Yeah, what so they run away. Oh, you think i'll run me on julia and an old guy helps them run away. Is he robert mitcham? No, he's i think it's like ser john gill good. Okay, something. I don't know Uh, but uh, they i remember it because they kiss under the bridge of size in venice Which supposedly if you kiss under that bridge then then your love lasts forever Well, you're learning you've learned something here tom dusted's pick of the week a little romance a little romance So it's kind of it Wasn't that a couple tears were shed on? Yeah, it's i think late 70s early 80s It sounds really 70s early 80s. I'm going to agree with this this jear. I assume you would as well if you saw this It's really bad. Okay, really bad. It's the robert mitcham movie that I should yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, uh, and finally we have a cheer To cbs is 50 only to wait three cheers and one year this was a really good week They were not very surly this week. The only jear they had was at robert mitcham show To cbs's 50th anniversary salute to the wizard of az the first time an uncut pristine copy of the film was aired Used to wear air every year, but you know, they they would cut stuff out. What would they cut out? I don't know the nudity I met I met the munchkin corner mineheart robbie I met him at suffic downs. Hey with buddies, right? Yeah, I met him at suffic downs at one of at a convention Was he riding one of the fuck? Yeah, he was a jockey. No, he was there They did a they did a celebrity autograph convention. He was about a million years old And he was just he was wearing the corner costume And he was just he's babbling and he was like these lobby cards or reproduction lobby cards They're not the original lobby and then they had he had these handle was that were like mine heart and he just looked up and went like Oh And then they took the picture of me and him and he kind of blinked it off and then was like What the lobby cards don't go and went back into the thing I I'll post the picture along with this podcast so people can see me and and mineheart robbie Uh, well, that's it. Tom. Dustin. Thank you so much for doing a podcast in me kennedy. I'm sorry. I wasn't funny arrow I think I I made a mistake by choosing the wrong time of year. I don't think so the wrong year No, I think people would enjoy this. There's no wrong year. Tom lean on me stand by me 21 jump street alien nation cheers 1d years clash of the titans cause me show jasmine guy. Yeah Uh full house star trek next generation That's not a bad lineup. I think you you did well The sit the real sad thing this was march 1990 I'm probably gonna walk most of this shit again tonight. You should I think that's what if this podcast accomplishes anything Tom, it's to remind you of what you watched 24 years ago and to make you relive that night I'm you you've got some stuff in here that I want a galaxy high galaxy. Hi. Galaxy. Hi is fantastic. I can copy you galaxy. Hi Um, there was a There was a lot of old. Oh, man. Oh, man. The read archives does contain auto man, including the pilot film Well, why there was a pilot. Oh, yeah, they were aired as a two-hour made-for-teeping movie as the pilot was a was a tv movie Auto man. Well, we'll have you back in week. He was like, he was like, cursor, make me a collar Yes, he was he was it was sort of like a rip-off of uh, Tron. Yeah, yeah mixed with night rider, right? Yeah Auto man, not a verb. That was when Brendan tardicoff was really trying to throw anything at the wall See if it's stuck you had misfits of science man-able. We'll we'll have to do this again Tom I want to do a whole mr. Wizard's world day. Oh, yeah, mr Don herbert. We should do one we should do one where we instead of podcast and we'll video And recreate some of the mr. Wizard's world experience get me experiments a busload of Canadian teenagers I would be happy to recreate anything from mr. Wizard's world Tom. Tom dusting. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome So there you have it. That was Tom dusting. I told you he is a he's a real Boston character He's a very funny comedian. You should look him up when he comes to your town. Definitely go see him He is on twitter. He's on facebook Look at your local listings at your local comedy club. He has a lot of touring and I think you'll enjoy seeing him very much And what an informative episode We learned a lot about the used car business We learned how to not get screwed how to screw people and we learned about dentistry and the evils of it And if you know what the hell tom was talking about with that tv show where the brother and sister move into a museum Please write in let me know at can and I can read calm You can also write me a can and I can read calm if you have any questions or comments I'd love to hear what you think about the podcast or years We want to cover a guest you'd like me to have on the show or if you just want to say hello Can and I can read calm so again check out tom dusting to drop me an email. Let me know what you think and I will see you next week I'm kidding out you out there [Music]