TV Guidance Counselor
TV Guidance Counselor Episode 1: Myq Kaplan
Wait, you have a TV? No, I just like to read the TV guide read the TV guide. Don't need a TV Hello, welcome to the very first episode of the TV guidance counselor podcast first of all I want to thank you for checking out the podcast you may not have heard of me So I appreciate you coming in to check it out. My name is Ken read for those of you who don't know me I'm a Boston based comedian and a huge television nerd growing up TV was my absolute life I had no friends and hardly any family aside from television Want to give you a little bit of background on this podcast and tell you what it's about before we get into the heart of it I guess this week will be comedian Mike Kaplan who you've probably heard of as being comedian Mike Kaplan. He's quite famous But before we get into that, let me tell you where this came from growing up I used to very much look forward to every Wednesday when the TV guide would come in the mail I would run to the mailbox grab the TV guide get a pen and paper and a highlighter and then plan my week Somewhat said yes But it was what I did with my time and I have fond memories of it So over the years I've collected many many TV guides amongst other things that I collect But I have pretty much every TV guide from 1980 to about 1994 1995 or so they are on display in my home in a large spinning rack everyone comments on them when they come into my house and so Alternatively for years, I've want to do a podcast people have asked me why don't do a podcast and one of the reasons was I didn't really have a good idea for one that would be different enough and representative enough of whom I am and what I'm interested in until about six months ago when a good friend and very funny comedian Sean Sullivan Point blank suggested to me. He basically came up with the concept for this show. He said he can you shit Which is my name? He said hey Ken you should have someone over your house. They go through your TV guide collection They pick a random TV guide They sit down and they pick out what they would watch every night that week and prime time from eight to ten o'clock And then the podcast is the two of you sitting down and discussing their choices. And that is exactly what this podcast is Every week every Wednesday that we a new podcast up. I will have a new guest on they will pick on random TV guide between 1980 and 1995 and we will sit down and go through the prime time line-ups in their choices. We'll disagree We'll agree sometimes we'll go with my pick which is usually the correct pick We'll go with their pick we'll get some insights into they're growing up and what they watched on television And I think you'll enjoy it and I think it will be fun So please enjoy the very first episode of TV guidance counselor with my good friend mr. Mike Kaplan Oh Hello and welcome to TV guidance counselor I am can read the TV guidance counselor and I'm very pleased to have as my guest this week mr. Mike Kaplan Mike Welcome. Thank you for having me. You're welcome. Welcome to my home. I appreciate your hospitality. You're welcome Mike has been at my home before so it's not that exciting for him. I Appreciate it again. Yes. It's not as exciting for him as it is for some people who this is the first time they've been to the home Oh, yeah, it's an impressive home. It's fairly impressive in the first floor bathroom first floor bathroom We do have a Hawaii bathroom. So it's a Hawaii themed bathroom. It has grass on the floor You actually went to Hawaii to take pictures of yourself. Yes, just for the bathroom Yeah, and I also had the bathroom shipped in from Hawaii It's a it's a bathroom that comes from Hawaii and there's one of those what's the the eye goggle things that you oh, yeah A view master and the reels are 3d images of Hawaii. So if you're sitting on the toilet, it's like you're going to the bathroom in Hawaii Exactly, and that was the that was what we're going for. Yes, so excellent So Mike you've picked a TV guide from the week of May 30th 1992 yes, so my first question here is what drew you to this particular TV guide? Well, you have a lot of TV guides to choose from really do and I wanted something from the early 90s Because that was sort of when I started actually like, you know carrying a bet right I was able to choose the things that I watched then Previous to that your parents chose what you watched I mean, I was I was only allowed to watch like a half hour a night I think oh my god That's that's you just described the worst thing I can think of so I yeah I don't really remember before like the earliest TV that I remember choosing to watch was like Fresh Prince and Roseanne right right like maybe the muppet show no Yeah, some some fine choices if my parents told me you can only watch a half hour television a night I would have heard we're only going to allow you to breathe for a half hour an evening and I would have been like that sounds Severe I understand sometimes I would you know get home from school before my parents and I would sneak some TV view And we're like when I was I remember had a babysitter once And I was you know, they probably were told you're supposed to go to bed at this time But I was like oh no sometimes I Yeah, this sometimes they get confused leave my parents are mistaken about the rules for my childhood I I used to babysit for one of my mother's friends kids and they went to bed at I think seven and I And she'd give me like money for pizza and the kids didn't like the pizza So I'd just get whatever I wanted and I used to and she'd leave it alone on four o'clock and around five I moved all the clocks to say seven o'clock And then I was like it's seven o'clock and they were like cuz they knew what seven o'clock looked like on the clock So they were like oh, you're right. Okay, and they went to bed at five and then I got them back to seven That is insane. I had a I babysat for some kids and I remember this one I was probably like 13. Yeah, and this kid was like five kid was like 15. Yeah. Yeah, and I mean I think it's the older sister was like one year younger than me. Okay, she could have been babysitting But I got my four dollars. I don't know right right right whatever it was But I remember I feel like I loved inspector gadget and it was like who didn't it came on after Looney tunes Right Looney Dunes then inspector gadget But at a certain point the kids stopped enjoying inspector gadget So he'd be like looney tins is over now. We're gonna like interact and I was like no no no Let's let's keep and so I would inspector gadget would come on and I'd be like let's watch these like I don't want to watch Inspector gadget. Oh, no, that's just a commercial right it's still looney dude. It's a 30-hour. It's a 30-minute commercial Yeah, it's pretty great. Here's a saw go outside and play for half. It has its own commercials My mother used to do daycare For various kids when I was growing up and she was home to earn extra money when we were on government assistance And would get tubs of peanut butter and free government cheese But there was this one kid who his parents were like the only rule is he absolutely Will not watch the electric company And so which I loved the electric company because spider-man was on it challenge except yeah So I would always put it on I must have been three or four and this kid would freak like he'd start screaming Was horrific was it the electricity or the company that he I don't I think he just hated Morgan Freeman. Fair enough I think that might have been it All right So we got made there if you picked it because it was in the era that you most remember television and the first one that I looked at had like Arsenio on the cover and I never watched Arsenio So I found one lucky you this one has the wonder years on the cover which is right which is a great show Absolutely. So yep, it's the wonder years on the cover. It's the special family vacation issue of TV guide And the wonder years are on the cover including Jason Harvey my nemesis. So Saturday night we start the week as TV guide weeks all start on a Saturday night What do you got it at eight o'clock the golden girls? Classic Saturday night show it was between that and who's the boss I right there was a time when in in high school after my parents got divorced and I was now on my own a lot more right to you know eat whatever I was like now all of a sudden like I wasn't allowed to have like sugary cereals originally all bets are off TV yes, like I bought I did my own shopping and like I Doritos like home alone all the time kind of Yeah, home with my mom sometimes there okay alone mostly I mean she was a good mom Until that time, you know and then even better after that right, but I remember then I would just we had just moved And so I didn't have like tons of friends or anything. So after school I would do my homework and then from like 6 p.m. Till midnight I would just be in front of the TV Yes, you know watching like reruns of things sometimes now we're talking now Yeah, I watched a good 40 hours a week of TV in high school and it's a full-time job And then I remember even in college like when I would come home I would probably I wouldn't I would go out with friends sometimes then cuz I now then did have friends right But I would still like set the the VC various VCR so that I could watch TV all day of what was on the night before I knew there was a reason we've been oh, yeah Yeah, so I definitely in this situation. I would have certainly taped one of who's the boss and then watch or golden girls And then watch the other one right cuz I do I remember I watched both of the shows Yeah, this was when a 92 was sort of the last year of who's the boss and the last year of growing pains and TGI F was very popular so ABC tried to make Saturday night also a TGI F and they moved growing pains And who's the boss to eight o'clock on Saturdays from Wednesdays TGI s which on the telephone would see Exactly, it's very difficult to just SNF apart, but that could be think thank God at Satan Mm-hmm, which would be fun, but they they didn't cause you jazz. They called it Saturday night is funny Which was really weak that is not as catchy. Yeah, so this was the last season of both shows Who's the boss? I always watched it because although I hated Tony Danza. I really really loved Alyssa Milano Sure, I watched it even though I didn't enjoy it This episode's not great Tony strikes out with Samantha when he refuses to get her a job We're calling the error. He made helping Jonathan become ball boy for the Mets Oh, I think that you'd never get over that if you helped someone become ball boy for the Mets I don't think so So Golden Girls was clearly the move here much better episode glance the reigning bell of the rusty anchor bar already great already great Gets gonged when Dorothy starts to sing Meanwhile Sophia throws a wake for herself, but unfortunately lets Rose make the arrangements I mean the A story and B story here fantastic. I mean you can't go wrong with any of those ladies Not at all. She was throwing her own wake. Yes. Yes. I don't know why she why is she doing that? I think she's trying to guilt trip Be Arthur. Okay. It's a good episode. We're checking out again. The other things you passed up now I was a big fan of cops most Saturday nights I watched cops, but I think Golden Girls was the move here and Baywatch had just started This is when it was on NBC. I never watched Baywatch I did have a free shirt that I that I got which said on the back of it in like however many countries and however many languages It had the numbers like 37 countries huge Maybe a hundred countries and like 37 languages right at like more people are watching Baywatch than anything else than reading the Bible in the world Yes, and I got that shirt for free at college fest I got a bunch of free shirts when I worked at a local TV station and one was from the show Felicity Which I never watched but apparently she had to choose between a guy named Ben and again You know yeah, so this shirt Joe now on scandal. Oh nice This shirt just said Ben or no And it didn't say what it was from and my dad was always on me to get him promotional stuff So I gave him this Ben or no shirt and he wore it every day like any time I saw him He had this day or no shirt on and never asked what it was for. Oh, why you should talk about that on stage Yeah, I probably should that's I like that guy who played no, I'm all know know all the way No, you're not a Ben in the Ben camp And I actually also did what I watched the first episode of Felicity And I got mad because she went across the country to follow a guy instead of going to pre-med at Stanford Like was her plan for her future. It was very anti-feminist And then but then it's I heard I heard that it was good over the next four years once she cut her hair It got a lot better. That's what they say and then I did watch the end of the show Which they did they did two different endings. They did they did like four episodes one Ben one No, they really did they were and there was some like mystical like witchcraft Explanation for how they could have both of those things happen. They were dead the whole time and she was autistic. Yep Yep, yeah, just like unsaid elsewhere Just just for completion sake. I feel the need to read you the plot of Baywatch that night there Reports of a coming storm bring back painful memories for Mitch and even better K Attempts to persuade the parents of a young deaf girl to send her daughter to sign language school Which is exactly what lifeguards should do they often they're there really like a lot of people think that lifeguards are just about you know Saving you from drowning, but they're really guarding your whole life You're living even when you're not swimming and that's what they say most of the time. You're not swimming Yeah, I would say the majority of your life is spent not swimming this this in this day and age like back before we evolved You know and came out of the oceans, right? So when they didn't even have lifeguards No, she's a shame everybody knew how to swim exactly So it's 730. What do you go with? I stay I believe I stayed on the same channel for the Torkelson's I never liked the Torkelson's I don't think I liked it But I mean I I liked I like that late there's like you know that lady with a southern accent Yeah, I forget I think it was Amy Hathaway. It's definitely she was like a really familiar looking lady, right? I was like I liked her and I don't remember the show at all, but I'm sure that I watched it I don't remember I watched it as well And I don't remember a lot of the show although I always remember it made me sad It was a comedy, but it felt really sad like when I think of the Torkelson's I feel like every episode was a sad southern girl sitting on a porch swing and being sad I think for half hour like southern sad monkey Brewster exactly exactly I like the name Torkelson's the real fun to say. Yeah, that's probably how it became a show Yeah, we've got it the Torkelson's what's that doesn't we'll figure it out? Yeah, just give us an air date And you'll have some Torkelson's in the TV guide I think my move here now normally probably would have been cops But MTV was airing a hundred and twenty minutes concert tour which was a look at alternative rock music Which this would have been absolutely what I would have watched I probably would have been clicking back and forth between like MTV is a thing that I never like watched for more than three minutes at a time Okay, just a video at once. Yes, usually I mean I would check and see what videos were on and hopefully you know I hated when it was like I didn't To in this day I would probably be okay with a Mariah Carey video Right it would nostalgic wise, but I didn't care for Mariah Carey as a teenager because you hated women and black people exactly I didn't even know she was a black person, but I you know it got to me I believe I asked you this before but Brenda Kaplan who recorded her name Brenda K star Yeah, who did the song? I still believe which Mariah Carey covered later Brenda star It's not like one of those Mary Worth like comic strips. It was a comic strip She got a comic strip. She's from New York Her name is Brenda Kaplan Mariah Carey started as her backup singer And I think I asked you if you're related to Brenda Kaplan And I probably told you that I don't think I am in fact You got an email just the other day from a guy named Quinn Kaplan who was like super excited seen my comedy doctor I don't know who this person know a medicine Kaplan This kid said I assume it's a kid be right so excited. He's like my grandfather was a Jew and my dad's name is Mike And my last name is Kaplan. What's going do you know about it? How how many Kaplan's are there? That's good a lot of Kaplan's that's better than him going stop ripping me off Oh, no, he was really excited and I was like, I don't know about I'm not your dad if that's what you're saying no one ever Proports to be related to me the only time anyone ever mentioned my last name read Which is spelled the reid was a black dude told me man you spell it the black way Apparently I do it's R. E. D. Is the normal Sticking it to the white man. It's true But what were we so yeah, so I would have definitely oh the point was that Mariah Carey one time I think the song hero. Yeah, I'm a hero comes Probably all you have the rights to yeah The it was on MTV and VH one just like three seconds apart like they were playing the same It's like it transcended all demographics. I can't I was like I didn't so I watched a commercial probably I think someone should mash up. I need a hero and hero my morale. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah work on it So yeah, 120 minutes was my thing man. I recorded that was on midnight to 2am normally So this was a rare prime time hundred and twenty minutes special But I recorded it every Sunday night and then every Monday after school I watched that meet with a notebook and wrote down albums that I wanted to buy That's what people do then I this is actually even before this 1992 was probably the year that I first started purchasing music because I up until that point like Just my family listened to my mom listened to Billy Joel and John Denver. Okay, that was the only music I really knew as a child. I'm so sorry And then when I was 13, which is which is what I turned in 1990 when you became a man So this I wouldn't have yet at this point. I didn't have a walk man I didn't have any but I got a walkman for my birthday that year right and started purchasing cassettes the first of which were Cybersail Black Sunday. Okay, you jumped right in Aerosmith get a grip. Okay, counting crows August and everything after sorry Soundgarden super unknown. What a what a collection and Dennis Leary. No cure for cancer The the collection you've described leads me to believe that you purchased these from Columbia House I feel like that was the Columbia House starting package It might have been but I honestly might have gone to a store and picked them out Wow, but you could have like most 13 year olds at that time just committed mail fraud and got them off for a penny I think I definitely did that one search. I did that once But here's the thing is I think I got I got one of the legal letters that they send people And I got scared by it you got freaked out I got scared by authority and I think I send them the money I for BMG, which I can talk about now because it no longer exists. I used to get Reid Kenneth Kyle re I had all kinds of aliases that were that were getting Getting various CDs, but the boys also at this time. I did not yet. I don't think we had cable I didn't have cable until I moved which was when I was 13 also, okay So that's when that your parents were like you've had your bar mitzvah your man. Here's the cable exactly It'd be funny if they had a room You weren't allowed in that had cable the whole time and they just gave you a key to that room now It would have been that is not what happened. You're you've got a great imagination. Well, thank you 8.9 p.m. What do you go with? And just to I think you're going back and forth between the the central and Eastern time, but yeah So this the the particular TV guide that Mike picked is is central So normally we go from eight to ten, but this one we have to go to seven to nine That would be the premise of this one is in this guy listed as eight p.m But it's actually nine p.m. Where we grew up where we grew up the real America Empty nest empty nest now normally I would back that I liked empty nest. There was a Richard Mulligan fan. However Billy was on at this time on ABC I don't know what Billy Billy was Billy Connolly's sitcom It was a spin off of head of the class He replaced Howard has been in the last year ahead of the couple classes their teacher And he played the same character Billy once head of the class got canceled He moved on to Billy which lasted one season. Was he still teaching? He was still a teacher He was renting a room in a single mother's house. I will say this it wasn't a great show But I definitely I'm not having not I don't remember that at all But today I probably would watch that instead because I find Billy Connolly. I'll watch him in anything. He's a pleasure to watch He's great. So empty nest you would have gone with a decent episode that night Billy not that great, but but a better move. I think let's move on to eight nine thirty rather eight thirty nine thirty I would as a child a hundred percent perfect strangers. Yeah, I agree. I also watch nurses nurses was good Yeah, nurses was a lawyer that's in that Paul Provenza was briefly on nurses Yeah, he showed up in a lot of sitcoms Paul Provenza was in a sitcom called the pursuit of happiness. That was the first sitcom He was on an NBC. He was one of those guys that somewhat at NBC just loved and tried to stick in absolutely everything It constantly give him a sitcom So he was in the pursuit of happiness which did only last about eight episodes when that was canceled He was added to the cast of the facts of life as Blair is love interest He was on the last season of that then this was also while he was doing kids court I mean he was doing a lot of stuff at this time and doing comics only on Comedy Central This should have been they should have had a show about the thing today The Paul Provenza like experience starring Fred Stoller. Yes. Oh any of those guys, right? And then he replaced Rob Morrow on northern exposure. Okay. He was just they put him in anywhere You've watched and I did not watch his regular love northern exposure. Just spite really hating Rob Morrow understood Yeah, which we won't get to because it is not a prime time It's not a prime time show, but it was it was a great show perfect strangers was like when it went off when perfect strangers went off the air I remember being so sad. Oh, yeah, and it went off and then I think there was always like a rumor that oh come back as a mid-season Replacement and I was just waiting and waiting what a full rumor years had passed and finally I think you know when I was more grown like in an in college. I watched a rerun and I was like this is awful It's awful. It'd be funny if people were like it could come back as a series of films like Star Trek Who's playing Balke now? Yeah perfect. So this was the also the final season of perfect strangers. So again ABC really dumped their long-standing 80 shows on this Saturday night lineup. This was when Balke and Larry became married Not to each other. Okay. They lived in a Victorian house to each other. It's still beyond today This particular episode Balke lands an assignment to draw a chronicle comic strip of Demetri the cuddly sheep But it gets Larry's goat when Wayne Wright assigns him to quote fill in the bubbles. Oh Man, yeah, little puns in there by the person from TV God good work guys Nurses is a rare show in that it's a spin-off of a spin-off How's how's that empty nest spin-off of growing pains? Okay? Not growing pains a golden girls right nurses spin-off of empty nest that the how has that ever happened since Let me think I feel like it has Nothing comes to mind. Okay, but I'm pretty certain that is I'm sure people can write it and tell me if I'm missing anything All right, so that is Saturday night I think that either nurses or or perfect strangers was the move You really only your other chance was Vinnie and Bobby on Fox, which was an awful Matt LeBlanc show Oh, I kind of I now I remember that and I today actually might watch that out of curiosity. Yeah, really really turn that was long Doing great on episodes. Yes, that's great. It's funny. I love Tamsin Greek who's on episodes. I'm a big fan of hers Matt LeBlanc, I believe from Newton mess. That could be and Matt the other Matt from friends is also from Massachusetts So Matthew Perry Matthew Perry also from Massachusetts good work mad good work this part of the for some reason on this Podcast I always feel the need to mention who's from Massachusetts or things that are set in Massachusetts Even though that's probably not interesting to anybody. You're allowed to do that. Thank you. It's your podcast Monday night Uh, oh no, we do we do Sunday? I skipped Sunday. Yep. Yeah, let's go Sunday night. What do you got eight o'clock? We've got I would probably have told my friends that I watched a living color But in actuality murder she wrote Wow, I thought you were going actuality funny stone videos I did I did watch funniest home videos as well, but like I definitely I spent a lot of my childhood Like I'd I'd spend nights with my grandmother and it runs so there was a lot of that's why Golden Girls and Murder she goes grandma that goes I'm only watching people on TV that are my age or older I like yeah, I like to look like like it's a mirror. Right exactly. Did she do her makeup in front of the TV? I look good tonight. I'm like Angela Landsberg. Yeah, I really enjoy I mean, I don't I haven't watched murder. She wrote as an adult, but I'm pretty sure it holds up as like the law and order of its time Yeah, it's very similar to the law and order this particular episode in her new role as a teacher Jessica is challenged to find a campus killer by the ex-cop turned professor who used to teach her class And it starts wings-houser who was a real creep in a lot of movies in the 80s This was also I believe the last or the second to last season of murder She wrote where they kind of changed the format a little bit and she was a teacher I definitely would have gone with funniest home videos at this time in my school You were either a funniest home videos or any living color person And living color I like to kind of for the first season and then it just sort of got lazy catch-freezy And I found it to be sort of hateful Okay, but and also by the time school rolled around on Monday I would get the whole show acted back to me by everyone into school with funny some videos I just had mentioned I always like that they bother to put what's on that episode of funny some videos Do they put this one says a hedge trimming none doesn't get her feet planted a Young girl realizes something's fishy after takes dang squid and an optical illusion has a toddler quote making water Now does somebody who who comes up with that does somebody watch everything that's on and then comes up I think so somebody from the show is like here's what happened They never tell us in TV If I could ever meet someone who worked for TV guy to work because I think it probably works differently now I would love to hear did you get preview tapes to write this did did they give you a synopsis because there's definitely a flavor a Consistency to the writing where I feel like someone on staff wrote this I don't think this is a press release, but it would be impossible for them to watch everything that's on right So not everything has a synopsis. Okay, so I so this one's great Like I feel like someone's like I might watch funny some videos where a hedge trim and none Squid I watch that So also super bloopers and practical jokes was on which I was a big fan of this episode doesn't really have any names aside from Sherman Helmsley who's the victim of a practical joke fair enough involving the master tapes for an album he recorded that just sounds Just mean well. Yeah, we lost them. Haha. Oh I'm not a fan of most pranks at all. No, they're pretty mean spirited Unless you yeah, if you say immediately like here's the closest that game was with a waitress You know, I enjoy like set having making weight people laugh I don't okay, I like doing and I'm sure they hear tons of jokes So I'm always willing to be like oh have you heard I try to do original jokes to like not on wait Or you were right the joke for them. Oh, yeah, is that how you get away with not tipping exactly? Picasso it Here is my tip. I have the full full disclosure of truth. I actually tip wait stiff generally 20% excellent and if if they're the worst you're getting 15% still an acceptable Yeah, it's still an acceptable. Uh, but yeah, there was a it was between four and five It was they were switching over from brunch to dinner So they the wait step and we were there from through brunch and then but people were gathering It was an Aaron judge birthday party. Okay, and so people were coming and going throughout the afternoon so some people got there before had brunch some people were coming later dropping exactly and But between four and five the weight the waitress was very careful to come around be like we're you know the kitchen So there's not going to be give me my tip I don't know if she was still she was still there being the waitress But she was just saying like if you want any food make sure to order it before for right? Otherwise you'll have to wait till five it was she made it clear to everybody many times And so I then picked up the menu at a certain point that I was thought it would be very clear to be like okay I finally decided you know, it's now 4 15. Yeah, I'm making a joke Finally I finally decided I'll have and then her face starts to drop and I'm like I am I am joking you are clearly a good waitress Well, I mean how far would you go with that would you do the whole order and then ten minutes? I'd be like where's my god damn food and then be like I'm kidding. No, no, no I mean that was that was when you had the bad right that was my intention the whole time I didn't think I was gonna make up like because that's what a prank is making somebody feel bit It's like a rollercoaster like I think I'm gonna die. Oh, I'm not dead, right? You have to yet it has to be very quick. Yeah, I my dad's a big pranker and so I inherited a bit of that But like what we would do one of my favorite ones was if a friend was sleeping over I had a tape of truck noises and what I would do is while they were asleep I'd play the truck noises shine two flashlights in their eyes and yell truck and They one kid actually paid himself And then I I was like maybe I'll stop but I mean it's like that's an imposter There's no way that there's a truck where they are you know, they don't have their cognitive ability right there sleep there asleep You know, it's not here's on the cruel trick on the flip side Here's a you know Henry Phillips. Yes hilarious comedian. Watch the movie punching the clown He so many wonderful stories see him do comedy like you should try to get him on when next time he comes to Massachusetts, I'm sure he would know that his house, but so here's one of his stories that he's not even a story But just he said he was working at a club. He got in on Thursday to you know Do radio. It's like so the guy calls him up who runs the club and is like right Thursday night he calls him and says we got to do radio We got to leave it like five in the morning and Henry's like oh man and then the guy's like gotcha No, we don't it's five thirty. Yeah, I mean, you know And maybe there wasn't like whatever there either there was a radio or it was much later at a more reasonable time Right, but the guy for the rest of the week and was like, oh, I got him real good And he was like but you're the guy that tells me when radio is yes Why would I that was a thing like you and he's like he was a pretty good sport about it though And that was also although sucky a reasonable hour for radio to start if he was like it's gonna start at 2 a.m Oh, yeah, there's more clearly a joke. Yeah, Henry was not gotten in this story He believed the man who was telling him a thing that could be reasonable. Yeah, that's a that's a poor joke The only I try to avoid joking with waitstaff, but I remember I was very embarrassed I was eating it was like a TGI Friday's type restaurant where they made all the waitstaff where silly hats Oh sure and this girl had a big cowboy hat on and my friend that I was eating with goes Ordered his soda and he goes. Oh, yes Waitress called her back and went can I also get ten gallons of that soda and can you put it in that hat and she was? Angry and embarrassed That is that is a funny thing to say it was funny. It wasn't funny But just it didn't it didn't go over my normal thing that I'll do that that has gotten over well with with weights That in fact one time I so I if I have a completely empty plate Yeah, well as they're taking it away. I'll say please get that wrapped up Especially if there's like garbage on the plate right really like napkins Yeah, no food clearly like how we get that wrapped up and she looked down and then laughed and then turned and handed it to another Waitress who hadn't heard and said can you get can you wrap this up? Can you write this in a box like I have a go to hate it forward? Yes So at 830 you didn't have to pick cuz you picked an hour-long show your options were America's funniest people which was terrible And and rock which was a good show did watch it sometimes. Yes live show so move on to nine o'clock I'm I think I probably know what you picked. But what do you have of course married with children married with children? Which I have a long complicated Relationship with cuz I wasn't allowed to watch it right to sneak probably probably at this time I was not allowed to watch it. So yeah, if I got to see it It was like a very exciting risque edgy thing Oh, yeah, and then then once then eventually I was allowed to watch it and then I got like too cool for it Right, and I was like this is stupid I mean it was on for 11 seasons and then later I started watching it sort of as an adult all probably right when I was at least in college I was like oh and or beyond that and I watched reruns and I purchased it when it was on DVD And I was like this is really quality. It's a a funny show at least for a good portion of it Yeah I mean somewhat see I I liked it at the time and then I realized and I said this before to people that it sort of annoyed me in that I have a chip on my shoulder about blue collar sitcoms and I found this to be very offensive to blue collar people It was like I've called it this before and if people have heard me say this I apologize But I like to call it It's like a poverty minstrel show and that we're sort of laughing at these cartoonish poor people Which we're doing now in real life or like with reality shows for with actual people right without the writing there So I you know there were definitely episodes I enjoyed but my taught my my tolerance for married children is very limited Understanding small bits. I like that that the wife was constantly trying to have sex with the husband and he was the one who didn't want it She's very attractive. Oh, yeah, and I see way more attractive than him I said to my dad once I said I don't understand what his problem is because she's very attractive and my dad said It's different when it's your wife. Ha ha ha ha ha ha what just what you want to hear from your dad. Exactly good advice Yeah, that so eventually I I now I think fondly of that show and there's some really yeah There's some nostalgia factor there it was up against Seinfeld which was in its first season which at the time I wouldn't have known about very few people watched it at this time But to this day in the yeah in this day and age I would choose to watch Seinfeld yeah over married with children I would have watched Seinfeld then I will admit But let me read you the marriage children's synopsis for that night because I feel like the TV guy'd read a really structurally nailed this Okay, the good Bunwin's bun Budwin's a house party with a thrash metal band anthrax ah the bad Alan peg The ugly getting them out of the house with the help of Ed cookie burns. Oh, wow So you got a lot of guest stars in that episode absolutely eight thirty. What do you got herman's head I think I loved at the time And I'm sorry nine thirty yep haven't seen since herman's head good show I thought it was a clever show had a really good cast Hank Azaria Merely Smith and also you had the main guy who's named William Ragsdale of mannequin two on the roof He's not the original mannequin. However, he is in Fright night and Fright night part two Which is why I started watching Herman said actually because I recognized him from Fright night Herman said yeah, even now thinking about like there's No shows specifically do like it was a it was an original idea for a show Yeah, it was a good show and I think that it would work now if you did that show Bring it back guys. Although now they'd probably make it a dark hour-long drama about a man with multiple personality I probably bring it back and call it the United States of Tara. Yes, exactly. That is a remake of Herman said I think I would have watched night court. So this was also the last season of night court I've been watching night court court since it was on I was on now on Sunday nights And although I like Herman said for this year, I definitely want to watch night court I would later would have I'd never watched night court while it was on I only found it and loved it in reruns in that chunk of time in high school when it was probably on every night at 11 or 30 back-to-back yeah, I'm like the WB or UPN or whatever the thing was at the time great show Yes, also I assume at 10 o'clock. You would have watched quantum leap that night Oh as sort of outside of our scope here But I loved it just wanted to mention that so on to Monday the saddest night of the week my opinion You've gone back to school. You've gone back to work Oh, yeah, you generally need a really solid night of TV to make you forget about the troubles of the day What do you go with at 8 p.m. I went with fresh prints at the time not surprised not surprised This episode had a guest appearance by Queen Latifah great, so even better You really the only other option you had at this time was evening shade. Oh, yeah didn't watch that It's not a bad show Bert Reynolds is always entertaining a like Mary Lou Hannah, but definitely an old-person show It was definitely a CBS show. They were really finding their voice. They're exactly exactly So there we go fresh prints 8 o'clock 8 30. I'm assuming you probably stayed on Stuck with blossom That I really like Jenavon Oi. Oh, he doesn't get enough credit really cute. She was cute She was also doing double duty at this time she was starring in the Lenny Clark sitcom Lenny Oh, didn't know that where she played his daughter this episode of blossom blossom learns why six is spending so much time at the Russo's Meanwhile the waitress Joey likes at his new part-time job doesn't speak English Which is I guess uncommon at the time apparently apparently it is Also, I just want to mention that opposite blossom. There was a show called focus on Britain Okay, and the the episode's description is as follows a Scottish bakery is visited. All right, so you didn't watch that You probably yeah would already have to be planning to watch that sounds like if if a kid had to come up With a hypothetical boring shell it would be a show called focus on Britain a Scottish bakery is visited Yeah, maybe a scarf store after right? It's like that and national and Prunes European vacation when they're in the hotel and rusty all the things on TV There's documentaries about cheese. Oh, that's good. Yeah, very similar So nine o'clock. What do you got? I would have done the hour-long Murphy Brown. Yes our long Murphy Brown It's a very special Murphy Brown. It's the first episode where she reveals she thinks she's pregnant Which was a huge cultural phenomenon at the time. This this was a big deal. This was this was appointment television That show that was one that I it was like a more grown-up show than I was necessarily right But I would watch it like you know with my mom or something and like then as I got older I would appreciate like there's one one episode that I really remember that still to this day I think it was about when she had the child spoiler The kid was like two years old and she was doing like an expose on modern art was a kid's name Avery Yeah, that's right. So she okay So Avery did some finger paintings right and she was like this looks like modern art, right? So I'm gonna do I'm gonna trip people she put the name on it a Varee, okay, so and they're like little friends Yeah an artist from you know from Europe like new up and coming in the art Like maybe I haven't seen all of his work yet But and she presented that alongside with a you know an established modern art piece right that you know and she said she presented it to I forget if she I forget exactly how she did it She said one of these is real one of these fake right but she presented them both to a panel of art experts And she was hoping to be like gotcha, right? You know when and the first guy who looks at the paint at her child piece is like this actually looks like garbage She's like this is like a child could have done this right like what is going on? I don't like it at all and she was like oh, maybe there is something to this. He's an expert He knows what he's talking about and then the next excerpt was like I could not disagree more Right. This is fantastic. You've always been quick to like dismiss the newest the people got the personal in there It was great. It was like one of those episodes where like there's a Christmas miracle like oh, maybe there is a god Right, but then you find out. Oh, it was actually human intervention something happened It was a homeless person, but then another sort of potentially real-life miraculous thing happens You got a real philosophical education from this episode of Murphy Brad. I really I still it it really stuck with me I think what you've described could easily be a reality show now where it's a child does art an Artist does art. Oh try to fool experts. Great show. I like it. Let's we could pitch that as well So we move on to Tuesday 7 p.m. What do you got? Would have definitely at the time been full house. Yeah, I think full house was it was the move here I was a big fan of this one. This has a very special guest star Now forgotten singer Tommy Page. Oh didn't know he was it was sort of a teen heart threat for about 20 minutes He's Stephanie's monumental crush, but her feelings are squashed when Tommy pays more attention to DJ Well, why would he do that? She's older more mature better looking not a child yet, there was a weird subgenre of episodes where Children and sitcoms met their rock star hero in this case. It's a real guy. My favorite episode was of growing pains where Brad Pitt actually played a rock star Ben meets him backstage and then forgets his autograph book So when he comes back in Brad Pitt's making out with some girl. That's not his wife and Ben goes, hey, that's not your wife and he goes, will you get out of here? You little snot And then Ben goes home and tears down his posters and the lesson there is that your heroes are jerks Yeah, that makes and then Kirk Cameron like true to form awful makes out with people that aren't his wife I mean, you know makes out with the idea of creationism exactly exactly. Here's a thing that I've Almost certainly told you before but we'll tell your listeners my cousin Do you know the thing he wrote the co-wrote Stephanie's book? Yeah, he was the ghost ghost writer His name is on the cover. So it's like yeah, Jody Sweetin with Jonathan Warren right in the book title that he came up with Unsweetened nice that what got him the gig might have been yeah, it was like the Torkelson's artificial sweetener And how about that? No, we've got it. Yeah, we got it on sweetened. I believe I own that book In my collection of celebrity Biographies everyone should my cousin probably gets a few cents. Yeah, but from Mike's cousin Yeah, Jody Sweetin doesn't get any money, but she just spent it on a ton. Yeah, so at 830. What do you got? I did watch home improvement. I'm so sorry Mike. What a terrible terrible show This was everything I hated about families that comes in the 90s I liked Wilson a lot of people use that justification It's kind of like if there's a racist band and people go the music's pretty good. Just don't listen to lyrics You're right Wilson is the music Wilson is the screwdriver of Will we see his face? Will we ever never so you just like the mystery? Did they ever show his face? I don't believe they ever fully did what a tease and then every once in a while You'd you'd see him like his back was here like maybe that he wasn't behind the fence Right, you're like is it now and then he was like, you know holding a book or right something I whenever I think of home improvement I get a visual sort of physical sensation of being inside a mobile Quicky mark like like just like a Hestation. That's what I think of home improvement Just like standing in the middle of the Hestation at like 2 o'clock on a Sunday, and that's how I think of home improvement I don't know if that makes any sense, but that's enough. That's how I absolutely wouldn't wouldn't watch it For any like at the time. I didn't know better. Yeah, fair enough fair enough This episode was in June 2nd. However, it was the rerun of the Christmas episode Which they really should do in July for the Christmas in July that makes them Tim's efforts to rest a Christmas decoration prize from a neighbor When him a visit from the fire department, and is this marks last season with Santa? Oh It's a good one. I have watched that one because I do watch the Christmas specials every year But everything of everything, but still don't like the show 9 p.m. Absolutely rosanne No question about it rosanne even if there wasn't really anything else on at that time worth watching Which was true you had like law and order and front line and that kind of stuff and rosanne was really only sick come on But what a great show Never got bad even though people don't like the last season. I still enjoy it in retrospect like I like what they did Oh, the twist at the end is is so sad and brilliant and great and makes even the low points of the last season just worth it Absolutely Great show. This is the episode where after rosanne throws her back out Bev arrives to help out and to help spoil the grandkids by offering to buy Becky a car and DJ a video game Anytime bev showed up. I was always great. They just played her so well. Yeah, it's a yeah I love rosanne was a show that sometimes this might have been like just past my bed time I bet bedtime might have been nine o'clock. You had a bedtime. Oh at some points It never had a bedtime in my childhood, but yeah, I remember rosanne sometimes like rosanne night I was like can I stay up to watch rosanne and I could you had to do the negotiation? Did your parents watch it with you? Oh, yeah, yeah, like they would be watching it and so I would watch it with that's good then So that that's definitely the move although on usa network They were showing the movie the fury which I do like which features the wonderful Amy Irving Exploding people's heads with telekinesis, which is one of my favorite things. I checked that up But I didn't didn't know about it now nine thirty nine thirty. I might do a little surprise on you here I probably would have watched at the time the and maybe today still the second half of law and order Okay, I think that's that's respectable because the only other option you really had at this time was coach Which I absolutely loathe. I didn't enjoy coach as a child It it seemed much more grown up in it and didn't care in a bad way. Have you seen Craig teen Nelson stand up? I know you're a lucky lucky man His photos up at the comedy store, I believe if he was to stand up Well, I do not like Craig teen Nelson I would have gone with on the Discovery Channel one of my favorite shows and I still love it and I hunt down episodes to this day It was an Australian show about new technology called Beyond Tomorrow Wow, and I watched it every week. I absolutely loved it this particular episode has two topics that they highlight Crocodile breeding and robot assisted surgery Clearly better than coach absolutely all right on to Wednesday What do you got eight o'clock the cover story wonder years? Yeah, good move with wonder years Quality show very sad show. I remember distinctly crying at the last episode Oh, yeah, they they really nailed it and this was between the sort of the end towards the end of the show But was still quality this one as the Vietnam war rages overseas another war rages at home between Wayne and his dad Over Wayne's laissez-faire study habits and lack of concern for his future Wow. I am still to this day Terrified of Dan Loria. He is because of his dadliness on that show. Yes, he was just so terrifying I agree. Here's the thing is if have you watched the show recently? Oh, yeah I still rewatch it frequently cuz I I hadn't seen it in a long time, but then I saw like at least a snippet of French Savage and Danica McKellar, right and there's it was towards the beginning of the run And so they're so tiny they're so baby They're like they were probably he's probably my age Right so like as I was watching and I was like people my age and that's such a weird like the body dysmorphia that you never feel the age You actually are and TV always identify with people who are older than you and so now I watched it I'm like wow. They're like babies. They're really tiny. Yeah, and they're like kissing and it's a little bit uncomfortable Yeah, but still handled well. It's it's sweetly done and related. I love boy meets world I I like the first two seasons and then it became a really bad sort of friends rip off. It wasn't very good awful No, it still isn't but here's I mean a couple interesting things that I know that maybe not everyone knows about okay It's world so it started. I think they were in sixth grade right then they went to high school Which they were like oh, it's a big you know to big school So it's like middle school high school so seven through twelve right so that second year They're in seventh grade then there are two more years that are high school and then they're seniors So they they skipped they're like okay. They might have been very smart Yeah, but nobody knew and then Minkus shows up again at graduation Who hadn't been around since sixth grade. Here's another fact that you may not know about boy meets world The high school set was reused from head of the class Which had been canceled on ABC the year before boy meets world started. So we didn't know that Which I was the first person to notice. I remember telling kids at school. I was like it's the same high school set They were like you're nerd. I'm gonna punch you in the stomach now Like I'll have a podcast someday. Yes, if you're a fan of the Savage brothers, and I know you're huge howie Mandel fan Uh-huh. I recommend you watch the movie Little Monsters. Oh, I certainly I remember that from Being advertised in my comic books It's it's actually a pretty good weird movie and gets really dark at the end the other the other thing about boy meets world that That I liked was do you remember there was a Halloweeny kind of episode with where he Jennifer love Hewitt. Uh, I yes I do remember that one she played the character named Jennifer love Fefferman. Yes, she was dating Will Fardell at the time I love Jennifer love Hewitt. I will add that Understand that episode. It was like a scream parody. Yes. Yeah, that was a good That boy meets world did Halloween specials well because the year before that was the one where Corey was going through puberty But I thought he was going becoming a werewolf. Yes, which we all we've all had that I remember when I first my first I remember my first pubic hair and I actually thought I was under a fuzzy blanket And so I thought it was a part of the blanket right and I was like, oh, there's a hair and I pulled it and it hurt That would hurt. Yeah, that would absolutely hurt. I was like, what why is this blanket hurting me? I remember when I first went pubic. I I was still seeing my pediatrician and they do the exam over here of a genitals and I remember being really embarrassed because there was pubes down there and we kind of blocked eyes and he was like I'm really sorry and I'm like, yeah, I know I got into this to see no pubes ever Then when the last thing about boy meets world, which was not even on the on this slate right started the next year They I remember so, you know that Corey and Topanga were in love since sixth grade Right and stayed but you know true love, you know, maybe they had a baby now for girl meets world Exactly, but so they never it was so crazy because before they were married We never knew them that I think they decided not to have sex right. I remember that plot and then When they got married then all of a sudden now. They're like basically like a married couple from like, you know The Donna Reed show right separate bets. Yeah, and but hook now The old ball and change, you know turned into big bonding. Exactly. Yeah, it was crazy And if you had asked me what the deal is that would have said Mike? It's different when it's your wife You don't have sex before you have a wife and then you don't have sex after you exactly exactly ABC family TV, right? So I love the one of yours and then as a side note a guy used to work with I used to be the assistant in a sales department his cousin played the mom on the wonder years and He went into the hospital for gallbladder surgery or something and as an aside They were passing around a card for him and I was reading what people wrote and someone wrote That's what you get pig And so I went to this guy and I was like, oh, do you guys has this like a joke you guys have together and the guy goes nope So this guy went to the hospital. He's like, that's what you get pig and then signed his name Which is excellent. Why did he do that? He just didn't like the guy. He was like, oh, he's in the hospital. Let me see that But while he was in the hospital when he got back the the mom from the wonder years called And I answered the phones because I was the assistant and I almost Went to tears when I heard of what he said the phone. Oh my god I was there was very shocked at my reaction So I although I love the wonder years I would have gone with unsolved mysteries, okay would have gone with those old mysteries It terrified me, but I watched it every week This particular episode had an update on a Tennessee man's reunion with members of a family to whom he gave refuge during the depression boring Also repeat reports on a Georgia man's search for his brother following a 1990 boating accident Also boring and the mystery of a caretaker who squandered the riches of an elderly widow No ghosts. No UFOs. Normally, I would have watched it, but I think this night. I would have gone with wonder years However, here is the X factor for the two seasons. This show is on. I loved it Davis rules, which was Randy quaid Bonnie Hunt and will and um Oh my god, I'm Jonathan Winters who you love Bonnie Hunt. I love Bonnie Hunt so much She's like my all-time hero. I kind of remember Davis rules being a thing She was only added the second season, but it was great Her and Jonathan Winters together could watch it all day. I understand I never watched unsolved mysteries and I'm fine with that it you don't feel like you missed out on anything I don't think so. I mean if if if I missed out on anything it is a mystery that will never resolve right Maybe we could bring the show back to salva this mystery. So 830. What'd you go with? I stuck with I watched growing pains All the time. I love growing pains was a great show This also the final season of growing pains the finale of growing pains upset me so much I had to stay home sick from school for two days. I don't remember what happened. Why did it Maggie? Transfer everyone died. Yeah, and horrifically Maggie got transferred to DC Mm-hmm, so they moved out of the house. Where did they live in Long Island? Okay, and so the final shot It's in they sit on the floor. They're eating pizza for the last time in a furniture list to see her home They leave you think it's over she comes back in and realizes she forgot a photo of the family on the mantle Picks up the photo and written on the brick behind it as Mike was here. She touches it cries Cut to black nag or falls from my eyes. I was very upset. Very upset. I wish I had a family Yeah, I wish I had a family. I wish I wish that Maggie Malone was my mom I love that show although I think a good move would have been here and I enjoyed this show as well on CBS Brooklyn Bridge was on I also yeah I might have taped one watch the other because what a what a great sort of TV double feature of the wonder years in Brooklyn Bridge Oh, yeah, very suburban and the urban the same rough time period can argue with you But growing pains this episode's not great. It was in the Chrissy year When Chrissy comes home with head lice. It's the Seaver men who played nurse made while Maggie and Carol lounge at a resort hotel Fending off men. Sure. This is like most shows that go on too long. It was a little sillier than then need be What'd you go with nine o'clock? I stuck with a doogie has her hated doogie has okay? I hate Neil Patrick Harris. Oh still still I hate him more than I hated him then Wow because he's a kid Then he was a kid then but he just was a smug prick And think he's a smug prick. I feel like he's a smug prick and people are always like but he's so funny and he sings If you met him, no, yeah, I think I feel like if you met her you'd be like what a smug prick I mean the thing that brought him, you know, sort of from childhood into adulthood was Playing the part of a smug prick on in the you know, the Harold and Kumar movies Right like so and that's the kind of thing that you don't do like that If you are an asshole like you don't generally get talked into pretending to be the kind of asshole that you are You probably do because if you're an asshole, you probably don't think you're an asshole So someone says well you play an asshole and this should be like a I can because I'm the best and I can act in anything And be yeah, because no one clearly this is a parody of me. I I think that it actually I mean, yeah, I don't know. I don't know in real life. Neither do I I'm just assuming here. I don't hate him as much as I hate Jason Hervey. Okay. He might be a nice guy I'd sit down with him and have a meal and if he could win me over hey Fair enough. That's the thing. I mean like with a Jason Hervey obviously he that that part He was such a horrible like just looking at his face. I just want to punch it But that's why if in real life like here's the thing. Do you know Walton Goggins? No. Walton Goggins played on the shield Like sort of the right-hand man of Michael chick list. Okay, and then now is on I was a show that I love justified Okay, and he is sort of like the the art not arch nemesis, but he's like, you know, there's the bad guy There's the cop and the criminal that grew up together. Right. So there's like a friendliness job from them Oh, yeah, absolutely a mutual respect Oh, yeah, and so Walton Goggins on shield like annoyed me so much. I'm like look at it. It's his face I don't like it. Right. And now on and when I've seen him anywhere else on Justified he's a completely different character. I'm like, oh wow his I like his face I think he's like he's a good actor. He's a great actor But let me tell you about Jason Hervey's first of all He was in so many ads as a kid really annoying played a dickhead in the monster squad was a dickhead on the wonder years Later went on to marry a porno star and run some kind of sports management company Fair enough. Okay. I mean, I'm just going with the facts here I got you. Well, nothing nothing like that. You can't do that for Neil Patrick Harris I'd sit down with Neil Patrick Harris and try to like him Hervey, I wouldn't even accept the invitation. So if Jason Hervey is listening, don't bother to send me there's good All right. So I wouldn't have gone with with doogie house I was not a fan of doogie house or at all. I think I would have gone with get smart on Nickelodeon Love get smart would have gone with that. I enjoyed that as well. 930. What do you got? Honestly, this one I didn't really have much. I didn't watch anything but love but I would Had to watch and he would I go with I because I have Richard Lewis, right? Which Richard Lewis, Jamie Lee Curtis and one of my favorite people in magnificent who is amazing. I mean to this day Like I definitely I enjoy watching Richard Lewis. It was an okay show. Yeah, there was an okay show It's not great, but it wasn't bad. It's not a bad move You really didn't have any other choices. Uh, the only other things that were on was MTV sports A rerun of the Dick Van Dyke show. Yeah. Yeah, anything but love would have been the move Onto Thursday. This one's usually a slam dunk for most people. They they all mostly say the same thing Let's see if Mike Kaplan you are in that camp. What do you got eight o'clock? I mean the Simpsons it was my number one though. Obviously I would have also watched Cosby So you would have taped one watch the other. Yes. Yeah, the Simpsons. This was when the Simpsons were still on Thursday nights Thank god. They moved to Sundays because man was that a difficult call for most of us at that time Cosby also sort of at the end of its run by this point. So I definitely could have easily Uh passed up Cosby and gone with the Simpsons with the new kid in town there Uh, the Cosby episode this week, uh, not that great the Simpsons episode this week Bart becomes a strict law enforcer and Lisa is a lawbreaker when the aptitude test point them in the opposite direction So good, that's a classic episode. So I think that's uh, easily easily the move that night Uh eight thirty. What do you get? I stuck with the Drexel's class Ooh Ooh, the third failed Dabney Coleman show yep, uh after Buffalo Bill the slap Maxwell story and Drexel's class This is because I only this is the first I ever saw Dabney Coleman, but all you know that name enough Uh, like I was like, oh, it seems like I know this guy. Yeah, I mean, I love Dabney Coleman But Drexel's class was just like a bad head of the class, which is saying a lot. Sure Um, I would have gone a different world. Absolutely loved it. I guess I didn't really care as much about a different world I definitely watched it sometime. So you had no aspirations to go to a fictional black college. I didn't Uh, yep, I mean in real life. I did but in right because that's that's that's how you ended up at a fictional black college Exactly called Boston university. Uh, and this episode is Garrett Graham in it Who I'm a huge fan of have used cars fame fan of the paradise Well, I'm happy to uh, you know, buck the trend we can agree to disagree on this one. Uh nine p.m What do you got? Uh, I watched I would I honestly I would certainly watch cheers Uh to this day cheers a hundred percent, right? Um, but that's another show like night court that I didn't start watching until there's a rerun show I think I actually I probably watched like the season fan the series finale everybody watched it Especially around here. Which Mike didn't grow up around here, but man was that a big deal It was I mean I remember watching it and like, you know, even though I didn't have the the history that you know would back up The emotions that were packed in it, right? But uh, so I was like, oh, yeah, this is that was a show that while it was on like, you know I would I remember watching like roséa with my family and then not watching cheers Like they were probably watching cheers. Always seemed a little older like roséa and at least you could get in with the kids Yeah, cheers was about old people on a bar. Yeah, but I definitely when I started watching it in high school I was like, oh, this is amazing like, you know cliff. Oh, it's great. Jeopardy and you know, it's a great show super funny The thing that really messed with me were cheers is obviously I grew up in boston Cheers is set in boston and the set was based on the bullfinch pub which most people know Uh, that was near my uncle's work and he would take me there and I didn't really know that it wasn't cheers I mean, I was probably five sure and I was always like where's sam? Why isn't sam working and he'd make me ask and then all laugh at me and then man will be like, oh, it's his day off And uh, I I didn't figure out till about three years after that that that wasn't didn't actually work So he was pranking you but I got pranked you but you you know, you were not the it's not your fault You're you're a child. Yeah, I don't know that uh, your brain is not fully full Yeah, it's a tv show that looks exactly like the place is set in the place. Yeah, and I thought it was a reality Exactly. How did I I didn't know? But uh, also on at that time was 902 and oh, which at the time I was like 902 one. No me too I've been waiting to say that I actually did start watching 902 and oh in college when uh Uh, uh, who from said it from say by the bell. Oh, yeah, I remember thiesen when she joined boy. Oh, yeah I I was like, maybe I've been wrong to not watch this. Do you want to say by the bell fam? Uh, I definitely like to say by the bell and I I mean I I thought she was at the time. I was like, she is cute She still is. Uh, and now, uh, I will Watch it. Yeah, I I hated Beverly Hills 902 and oh mostly because I hated it But also, uh, when it first started it aired against the flash they were uh thursday nights It was you I watched the flash of Beverly Hills 902 and oh I was strongly in the flash camp and when the flash got canceled I wouldn't watch it just out of principle and as you know, yeah, I'm mostly motivated by spike Uh, yeah, your principles. Yes, you're a man of principle This episode of Beverly Hills 902 and oh Donna and david save a party from being a social disaster But they're powerless against an accident that ends the party And a life. Oh, yeah, that must have been the kid who was spinning a gun around while high Yep, I remember that one. I remember that one I I remember the the promos for that one but not watching it and I remember laughing because it was so hilarious And girls coming into school the next day being legitimately upset about what happened. Oh, man But hey, you know what? I don't care Not my favorite show Uh, so the final night this week friday night. Hold on. Uh, after cheers was wings. Oh wings Yes, I'm sorry. I forgot that you didn't go in that or tune. Oh, yeah, our show wings is one of my all-time favorites Wonderful like that now you're looking like oh all those people are successful great show. Which brother did you prefer? Everyone preferred one of them. Oh, uh, tim daily tim daily. Yeah, you and I Same camp daily guy tim daily. I love tim daily he's great and diner And he was uh greatest superman's voice in the animated superman series from the 90s today I would proud I mean I feel like uh, steven weber has done more things that I have watched Oh, I'm sure including the remake of the shining. Uh, oh, yeah, I don't know that I watched that But I do I do remember him from that I remember him on uh, what was it was an erin sorcan show? Was he on uh, yeah, he was on the the saturday night live Some such trip some such trip. Yeah. Yeah. He was like the the amanda pizza boss. Mm-hmm Uh, he's funny. I like steven leber. Um, he was on up. He was on an episode of party down. That was great Oh, yes. I remember that one. That was he like he made his eye I guess it was makeup maybe but his eye was like leaky or like like sort of saggy He played like you know a a european mobster of some kind he was just that good at acting He was able to sag his eye great. He I could see I could see him being terrifying if he chose to be Yeah, not one of your dad terrifying, but yeah, I understand so Friday night the final day Eight o'clock. What'd you go with? Uh, I mean I was at the as a child family matters 100 percent Yeah, I mean, I agree. I I used to watch family matters. I was perfect strangers fan It was a spin-off of perfect strangers, but by 92 it started to get way too ercoly for my tastes Um, this particular episode Strangely is not very erkel-heavy Um rachel reluctantly hires a loudmouth pushy harry it to help at the restaurant and erkel bets the ranch on carls cutthroat poker game at home With the guys so erkel's the B story here a little more tolerable, but uh, what an annoying Character yes, were you an erkel fan or you just watched it to watch it? I probably mostly watched it to watch it, but but I definitely I like erkel See I probably would have gone because as I said erkel was was just annoying me too much at this point So I think I probably would have gone with america's most wanted. Uh, yeah That was like unsolved mysteries never watched like cops never watched I enjoyed that sort of gritty cramp thing and I also enjoyed uh john, uh, what's his name the guy who was the america's Uh america's funniest most wanted america's most wanted to bring that back. I enjoyed his badassery sure Yeah, america's funniest most wanted really should be Uh, would you and also I should mention on tbs Uh at 705 which is tbs time which they've since gotten rid of but really should bring back Um at eight o'clock the movie one dark night was on which is a fantastic movie Great horror movie from 1983 mega till he's in it lis but daily's in it adam west is in it What's about an evil undead magician in los angeles? Uh, it's a it's a cool movie Yeah, you can borrow it if you like you might enjoy it now great commentary on the dvd by the way the 705 thing like I remember being so and like they're just trying to trick me into like I guess I gotta just keep watching this channel. It was brilliant stuck on it It was a brilliant move because if you watched one thing on tbs You had to watch it all day because it ended by the time everything else had already started And you can't jump in five minutes into a show they were ridiculous What what uh that is just that's a brilliant move I can't think of a better tv programming move like I think he would tend to probably did the laugh You just did when he thought of it like he was just he was in a tub And he was just like ah the old fives. Wow. Yes tbs time Uh, so 830. What do you got? I stuck with step by step. I'm sorry. Yeah. Um, I've never met anyone Who acknowledges that this show was good, but many people watched it Oh, yeah It's I mean they put it at the right place behind a show that everybody watched and I liked I liked I only remembered the name of one person Cody Everyone liked Cody. He drank milk right from the gallon. Yes. Sasha Mitchell was the actor's name Yeah, he uh was real life wife beater real life wife beater also martial arts expert He was in kickbox or three and four. You don't want both of those things Uh, no, well, maybe you do if you're the guy you don't really get out I mean, you don't want you don't want one of those things. Yeah One of them's good one of them's bad in conjunction makes the other thing worse. Yeah Uh, he was in that sort of uh way too late in the game surfer dude like four years after bill and ted's excellent adventure Yeah, uh very annoying He was just like the you know joey from blossom character or the joey from friends character way worse though way worse Just the dummy that lived with them because the show was poorly written It was far too silly And uh, the only likable character in the whole show was stacey keenan I do remember and would she the daughter on uh my two dad? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, great show. Yeah, uh, yeah I I couldn't stomach step-by-step. It was also just so sleazy. It was a lot of uh parents sex in that show I don't oh, I don't know so it's patrick duffy and susan summers. Yeah, which uh, yeah I don't remember any plots. I don't remember any episodes of step-by-step. Yeah, that's good You've probably blocked them out in order to be a fulfilled human being I remember the theme like the theme song was over there. They were at an amusement park step-by-step Day-by-day by day and they were on a and I didn't honestly second time around It I only remember learned realized as an adult that it was named that because they were uh step families Exactly. Yeah, didn't didn't know it as how ironic that mike caplin the king of puns Did not put two and two together that step-by-step was a step-by-step had no idea. Wow. Maybe here's I was like, why is it called that? Oh, well, it doesn't matter. I'm just gonna I'm just gonna throw this psychological theory out there and see if you see if you're on board with it But do you think your entire comedy career? Is an attempt to pursue? The satisfaction that you missed out on by missing that pun are you trying to make a wrong right? By being a pun heavy comedian to try and make that missing right? Uh, that's a great theory and I can't I can't acknowledge that that is even possible. Fine. Uh, I think I broke ground. I'm gonna say that I'm correct here Um, so you went with step-by-step. I would have gone with the rerun of the real world It was the first season here. Uh was it was the new york season, which is great today. I absolutely would yeah I didn't uh didn't watch it at the time, but yeah, certainly if you were to say mike This is on or that's on I would go through I would never watch step-by-step again today. I'm glad that you said that. Yeah. Oh, yeah Yeah, um, so 9 p.m. I think there's only one move here and I think that you probably went with it What do you got? I'm still watching dinosaurs dinosaurs. Fantastic. Yeah, really great show my favorite I remember I certainly remember parts of it. There was one Robbie the uh, the teenage son Uh says to his to his dad dad this year's like 59 million b.c But next year is like 58 million. Right. Why are we counting backwards? Yes. It was very smart. That show is so subversive And a left wing. I feel like that show is exclusively responsible for a generation of liberal people Because it was all like aren't humans the worst. We ruined everything And it was on the knee. It was between step-by-step. Oh, yeah, what a what a difference I feel like anyone that watched step-by-step and then watched dinosaurs would just be like What the hell did I just watched before this? Like it would just wake you up from that fog about how awful step-by-step was Definitely also probably one of the darkest final episodes of all time Uh weird because they all went extinct. They all died. They all freeze to death They all freeze to death. The last shot is them freezing to death And it's like you should have known. That's what happened Yeah, I feel like they should have just had the producers of the show just cut to them and go You should have known the whole time. It's great that they let them do that. It was amazing amazing Uh dinosaur was great show still great highly recommended Uh, I definitely would have gone with that, but I will say that uh a favorite was on up against it Which was the show sightings, which was like a sleazier dumber version of Unsolved Mysteries Fair enough It was as if someone went I like Unsolved Mysteries, but I only like the things about werewolves and UFOs and they said let's do a whole show of that Fair enough Uh, so what do you go with at uh 930? I have nothing. I don't remember baby talk Baby talk was a rip-off of lacuse talking It was essentially the same show And I probably would have watched that. Um, it got completely retooled after the first season The first season had Julia Duffy from uh, new heart. Okay. Uh, she played the mom Um, and uh, Tony Danza did the voice of the baby instead of Bruce Willis Uh, Julia Duffy quit the show. It wasn't working for her They retooled it the next season brought in another woman and scott bale For the second season surprisingly not a success. Uh, this was the second season of baby talk Uh awful show. Here's the plot Maggie and James squabbles provide ample grist Grist is not a word you see very often. No, uh, wait are we are we about to see mill because you never see it without mill? Yes ample grist for the party guests mill When when they help when they help Doris entertain our therapist boyfriend and his colleagues Uh We're learning a lot of vocabulary in this but other than that terrible Um, you had the show hidden video which previously was known as totally hidden video on fox Which was a prank show and now they're like, hey guys. We're not actually totally hiding Not totally hidden. Let's get rid of that totally. It's we got sued about the totally Uh, but my move would have been on usa network swamp thing. Okay. I did see that there do not bring your evil here Never is it based on the dc comic? Yes, it was much more. Uh, it was very low budget So it wasn't very well done, but live action live action still starred diktorak from the films Much more authentic and adhered to the comics than the films. Oh, very nice. Yeah, uh, was sort of a dark harsh Show and this one taresis friends are trapped in an invisible stealth shield created by dr arkane I'll admit doesn't sound very good But uh was it was definitely a better show than baby talk. Yeah, so I would I would do that now with full disclosure With full information full disclosure and full exposure Um, also I should mention that it was it was friday night. So, uh, usa network I would have just stuck on usa after watching swamp thing and at 11 it was usa up all night Which was their titty movie show and just to get it out there the movie that night sizzle beach usa starring Kevin caustner great and they give it one star. I'm surprised by that I feel like sizzle beach usa should at least warrant two stars a rarity. Uh, clearly kevin caustner's finest role Uh, let me read the synopsis of sizzle beach usa might just so you've never seen sizzle beach usa not Uh, let's see it's got usa in the title as well. It's called sizzle beach usa That's the name on the show on the channel usa exactly got it exactly. So they just say, uh, horny beachgoers and malibu starring kevin caustner I think that's well worth watching probably they gave it one star because they're like I don't want to see a movie That's all just horny kevin caustners. I always like to think that um Field of dreams is sort of an unofficial sequel to sizzle beach usa I swear that guy ended up get away from the beach So mike we're done with the week and finally to end Uh tv guide is not just a guide tv guide has opinions it cheers and it jeers I understand so I'd like to read you the cheers and the jeers from this week and see if you agree or disagree Uh agree or disagree with cheers and jeers. Yes, exactly. Um, we'll show up in the title make it a little snaffy at some point O'reers and disagrees Uh, so first we have a cheers good way to start it off to saturday night lives unsung comic phil heartman And then it basically just talks about how great he is which it's interesting that There was a time when he was unsung he was certainly he's sung and rightly so of course agree They're basically saying you know mike mires dana carvey chewy a swiney and rob schnider get all the credit Oh, that's amazing to see a time when rob schnider got more credit exactly, but they're saying phil heartman He's the best we both have to read hundred percent jeers to gijo For being ecologically uninformed in a recent episode titled the no zone conspiracy Deek enterprises cartoon commandos blamed aerosols for the continuing destruction of the earth's all important ozone layer Which protects us from the sun's dangerous ultraviolet radiation in truth ozone destroying chlorofluorocarbons or cfc's have been banned from aerosols in the u.s Since 1978 and most of the rest of the world since the mid 80s with the exception of certain medical products such as asthma inhalers Sorry joe, but it just ain't so wow So a continuity error on a gijo episode warranted a jeer does gijo Uh, I mean it took place in the modern world No, they had laser cannons, uh, so it wasn't a realistic show. It's a yeah I disagree with this jeer. Yeah, people had heads made out of metal on the show. I also disagree with this jeer Yeah, I mean, I guess That's the word that i've been talking about this lately like because sometimes you have a fictional world where obviously the law Most of the laws of physics exist dinosaurs. We agree You know like oh, yeah, that's true or this is a real life famous person right also exists in that world Oh, but tonight show with j-leno is a thing in this universe, right? But also there's fictional who ironically is responsible for the ozone destruction exactly Uh, but so in this where I kind of I understand where they're coming from like I don't know exactly what their Motivation is to be like hey like the maybe the aerosol lobby was like tv guide. Hey, we fixed this get on this Yeah, stop be smurching. I feel like this is sort of A precursor to every internet posting I read now. That sort of has that vibe. We have one more cheer one more one more jeer Cheers to nbc political correspondent lisa meyers for her stewed and clever coverage of campaign 92 Uh, I don't have any different on that one really neutral Yeah, uh and finally jeers to the us house of representatives for recently barring cable channel c-span from televising both a rules committee hearing On 1992 budget cutbacks and a cable regulation markup session Uh, I don't really hear all that but I'm sure that I agree with jeering congress. Yes, I also agree speaking j-leno Uh jeer congress mike caplin. I think we got some good work done here today. Thanks for having me welcome Thanks for being on the tv guidance counselor And that was it there you go. That was the very first episode of tv guidance counselor Hopefully you made it all the way to the end tier. Thank you so much for listening or downloading. However, you obtained this podcast Thanks to my guests mike caplin. Thanks to shan sullivan as always Uh, you can find mike at mike caplin.com. You should definitely go see him when he comes to your town And you should listen to his podcast to hang out with me which I have appeared on Also, I think you guys got a real scoop here Uh, we did get the secret origin of mike caplin who knew that it was step-by-step related I'd still stand by that was it secret origins mike caplin. That's what you had there So uh check back in next wednesday. We'll have an all-new episode. Thank you so much. This has been tv guidance counselor. I am can read Thank you [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music]