Bitchslap
Melrose Place S3 E25 - All About Brooke
Sydney is a cat burglar, Michael wants to go to The Ivy, Amanda acts innocent, Alison makes another dumb decision, Billy argues with Alison, Jake makes a bold move at dinner, and Jo thinks Jess is a good guy.
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- Duration:
- 1h 2m
- Broadcast on:
- 15 Jul 2024
- Audio Format:
- mp3
This summer Instacart presents famous summer flavors come into your front door or pool or Hotel your grocery delivery has arrived, sir. That was faster than room service No violence in the lobby. Oh seriously Anyway sit back relax and get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes Starring your favorite snacks tricks and more download and start for free delivery on your first three orders Where did age for hungry audiences offer valid for a limited time minimum ten dollars per order excludes restaurants additional terms in fee supply? Hey cast powers the world's best podcasts Here's a show that we recommend This is Sarah, and this is Beth and we are pantsuit politics a podcast where we take a different approach to the news We talk about news we talk about politics But we also talk about parenting and travel and pop culture and how all of that affects how we understand the world We're really different people. Sometimes you'll hear us agree and sometimes not We think that's where the fun is we laugh and learn together and with all of you twice a week every week Pantsuit politics is about engaging with each other and the news without the anxiety and the frustration We hope you'll join our conversation every Tuesday and Friday because politics doesn't have to be exhausting Our listeners tell us it's like time spent with your good friends who did their homework Hey cast helps creators launch grow and monetize their podcast everywhere a cast calm Hi, this is rich slop and Rachel Fisher. I'm Desi Janikin, and this is Melrose Place season 3 episode 25 all about Brooke Wow, I love Brooke. She's so good. I love that we're having Brooke now Let's get into it. We begin right where we left off Michael is taunting Kimberly as she lay Unconscious or dead. We don't know on the deck He even like puts music on and he's like talking is it? What do you think babe Mozart? It's so Hannibal Lecter. It's sick. He's cracking up He's he's laughing on top of it. I think he's having a gale time I think this is hilarious and then he finds her suicide note and he starts like reading it out loud But like acting it's like a it's like he's doing like a dramatic reading I burst out laughing because he says dear Michael. Oh, that's original What else would it be that's so evil to mock someone's suicide like you don't get lower than mocking someone's suicide No, you really don't This is someone you were married to Yeah, like maybe I can forgive you if you mocked like Hitler's suicide Something like that's like the one suicide note. You can walk. Yeah, but like come on Because she hasn't done he ruined her life. That's the thing. We have to all remember no matter what she does at this point He's the he started it. He like broke her brain in a car accident like broke her brain in a car accident and then proceeded to Continually emotionally terrorize her. Yeah, and he was already emotionally terrorizing her Before the car accident - like I would if I was gonna be this evil. I would simply leave and wait Until she dies. Why didn't he just leave? Just leave why they have to be there enjoying her death. This is crazy As he's reading aloud this note Sydney shows up and Then she's like oh my god, you killed her and he's he's like, oh, I just got here. He's fine He's like sister. Hey, I just got here and he is like music playing. He's got like a candle lit She's like you're drinking a beer or whatever. Yeah, you're having a drink and then He likes can't scrambles over to Kimberly's like, oh, I was just kidding And he he he can't come up with a lie fast enough No, he like pretends to give her mouth to mouth. He's like see I'm scared. I'm worried. Yeah, he's like I thought she was joking like or something whatever right Yeah, he's like, yeah, call 911 so she grabs Sydney grabs the suicide note and pockets it What's crazy is I know they give us an explanation later. Why is she here? Dude, why is she here? Well, she does say but it's all that stupid stupid reason. Yeah, I know we get a reason later But that's stupid. That does not that doesn't register for me. She's not even obsessed with Michael anymore She's obsessed with Jake. It made zero sense. It was like she needed to be there because Something about Jane's bankrupt. She's like Jane's business is going under. I just don't buy it I wish they came up with a better reason because it banged me. There should have been something There should have been a better reason for sure. There should have been something in the previous episode that was like We need her here. We just haven't even seen Kimberly and Sydney act You know interacting at all like Or Michael. I'm sorry. That's what I meant. Sydney and Michael like right. Yeah At the hospital Kimberly is wheeled in On a gurney and Michael's like oh wow like he's so concerned And Sydney is there And he's like go away and she's like but Michael I need to talk to you about jane's business Okay, she's broke and she needs money And he's like get the hell out And he says get the hell out Sydney my wife could be dying and she says well. Yeah, what do you want for me condolences or congratulations? She knows exactly what was happening the next day at Melrose Okay, this was crazy. I'm sorry. This was crazy Jess is swimming in the pool and when he gets out, I gasped Because he is wearing Jean shorts I mean It's I buy it this man was swimming He was swimming in jorts Because he's only ever swam and a and a swim hole Right like he doesn't know what a pool is he isn't he's never seen He's only had like a muddy swimming hole. He's just he just gets on that rope And his jorts and swing and swings into the swim hole Sometimes there's a tire on it. Yes If you're lucky I bet there used to be a tire on it and he like popped it because he was a shit. Yeah Um, this was disgusting And if if I ever was like dating a guy and he like emerged from a pool wearing like soaking wet baggy jean shorts Maybe so disgusted He doesn't even have a towel. He immediately starts walking up the stairs dripping This guy is out of control. Like he is disgusting. I like that first of all, it's like Why did you pack those? Because you didn't know you'd be swimming So were you gonna wear those little jean shorts around la Well, yeah, because he's like i'm going to california. It's sunny. I just love it Um He just go he sees joe is like carrying a box of shit And he's like He helps her with it while he's soaking wet. He's like getting water everywhere And jake intercepts the box. He's like i'll take that And jess kind of gives him a look. It's like i was trying to help And then we see as jake and joe leave We see joe Check out jess's bod and smile She likes it She likes him and she thinks he's cute That's who would have guessed that's her type She is the worst taste in men besides jake look cuz she Like let's say read to she likes these kind of like dirt bags she likes She likes these dirt bags and she probably thought that jake was a dirt bag But he turned out not to be so it's kind of gross She's like, oh, he's like a good guy and dirt bag clothing He's not he's not enough of a loser now Um at amanda's apartment billy is there And she's like well billy i'm in remission and she's like i'm gonna go back to work at dnd But i need you to do me a favor I don't want to ask allison directly so i need like you to ask her to hire me back And billy's like, what are you doing? Yeah He's like, why would you do that? Why would you go back to the place that fired you you wouldn't even be nowhere near Like the position you held before and he says what we said Last episode or a few episodes ago like she could get a job like at a legitimately sleek Kind of like cool agency Which dnd doesn't seem like it is at all or she could start her own boutique one Yeah, it's crazy. She wants to do this like why not start your own boutique agency and take down dnd That would have been steal their clients that would have been so cool get glorious gal Yeah, and and get the glorious gowns account um He she her excuses like well, I just love dnd it's the best Yeah, she built it from the ground up according to her And he's like, okay I guess And then um After he leaves the phone rings and it's michael and he's like in his hospital scrubs in the like lounge the doctor's on She's like hey gorgeous And she's like michael. We need to get together and he's like super horny And he's like let's go to the ivy Okay, why is this two times now and and Brooke didn't even they didn't even show us go to the ivy. They don't even go to the ivy In this episode either. It's crazy as like do you think we don't know what the ivy looks like the ivy is One of the most specific restaurants ever. No, I agree. This is the second episode We've never heard it before the mention going to the ivy No, because usually they're using these restaurants. No one's ever heard of or they're kind of made up Like or they're like don't exist anymore. Yeah, but the ivy is like this iconic l.a. Spot like It's crazy and it did make sense that Brooke would want to go to the ivy But we thought that that would be the last time we heard of it Why two times in a row? It's really only the kind of place you go if you're like Trying to be a big shot and have like a power lunch or you're like trying to get Photographed or you're like my mom's in town and this is like a very la place Yeah, I mean it is iconic, but it seems like a place you're like, I'll get the sal They have a famous salad or something. I always got the crab cake That's like what I got you get like a crab cake and it would obviously not be big enough and it'd be like 30 dollars I think the food is just fine there, but it's not like something I'd rather spend money somewhere else. Do you know what I mean? Like I feel like you're going there because of the The history the last time I went there joe jackson was there The singer michael jackson's. Yeah, michael jackson's dad. Yeah Yeah, he was good to love siding. He was there and I was like, jesus christ Where were we? Okay. Oh michaels trying to go to the ivy Yeah, yeah, he's trying to impress emanda. He's like this stuck up bitch Probably one of the ivy. He's so obsessed with her. It's cringe and he's like and she's like fine and he goes Hey, I love you and she's like, okay, and she doesn't say anything. I'm just dying inside At dnd allison's barking at someone. He's being a bitch again She's barking at someone on the phone in her office and billy stops by and he asks if um He's like elephant can amanda get the account executive position And allison is like she put you up to this didn't she Billie's like no And then he's like come on allison we're swamped we could exploit her Yeah, we could exploit her. She's a good advertising executive And allison's like i'll think about it Brooke tells billy. She's sorry for the other night. She's like billie I just wanted to say i'm sorry for giving you a hand job under the table Like kuchina Yeah, he's like so into her and then She's like but I do like you and she's like I want to have dinner tonight And i'm not playing games. My dad is mad at me and i'm scared She's like acting like the damsel. This is like a fucking porn character And she's like I just don't have anyone I can talk to I need a friend Billie's like okay Sydney shows up at the hospital in a white berry This look was I loved it. Yeah Sydney's about to enter her mod era, which is so funny like in season For I believe whenever it turns 1996. That's when sydney goes mod. Yeah, and it's so cute She shows up to kimberley's room and she's like I came by your house last night and michael was having a drink He was waiting for you to die. Yeah, and kimberley's like brings up the settlement She's like oh he he just you know Is this about the money like she brings up this like a hundred thousand dollar settlement that he just got right And then sydney's ears perk up. Yes, and then she's like You know sydney. I was actually poisoned so If you went by the house And slipped some second holes into my vitamin pill bottle He would he'd be charged with attempted murder and like you Get paid for it. You get something out of that And she's like well how much and kimberley's like $50 I laughed out loud when she said She said it's a little too serious $50 Are you crazy? And she's like I don't think so kimberley falsifying evidence and breaking and entering for $50 no way And she's like I want $50,000 and I want the money in my account before I do the job I like how kimberley pitches $50 and then immediately is like, okay, 50,000 So that you think there'd be something she would account her offered with like 10 grand I think it's just I have to believe that that was kimberley just trying to like be funny get one dig in Yeah, and like kind of degrade her for a second. Yes, you're right And sydney sydney's gonna do it. She's gonna plant evidence Billy and brook have dinner at shooters This guy This guy takes brook to shooters Not the ivy he tells her About he's like Yeah, I guess he's trying to like relate to her about like his family business problems He's like I didn't want to I didn't want to work in my dad's furniture store I mean, I felt like I was on a date with Billy because I literally zoned out and he was speaking I was like I have no notes on this because I was like whoa He's talking about his dad's chintzy furniture store from season one and two 800 years ago. I'm sorry. That's a different life Yeah, and brook is like, you know, billy. I broke it off with lul And my dad freaked out They're I like how they're like brook is like billy is now old and brook is young Do you know like billy is like late 20s They're acting like he's like she's the new young gun, but they're all so young. I know it's just funny Because what is she supposed to be like 23? I guess And she's like now my dad's threatening to cut me off Why that Melrose Allison shows up at amandas And she's like in her red power suit and she's like I understand you want to come back to dnd And she's like there is a small position available But you'd be working out of a cubicle and making in the low 30s The low 30s and amanda's like i'll do it and then Allison's like remember amanda. I'm the boss and amanda shuts the door and she's like not for long Allison's embarrassing herself. She's so bad at this. Yeah The next day amanda arrives to dnd in a baby pink skirt suit with white trim And she's very cheerful. She's like this is my account executive look Yeah, she's she's like i'm only going to be working in this cubicle for a day before I do a takeover Right. This is my pink era when i'm back in the president's office. It's red, baby right um Allison asks brook To bring amanda up to speed and she's like and can you get me a cappuccino and amanda's like i'll get you one And then she's like fine. And then she tells billy. She's like she's probably going to put rat poison in it I love how bad she comes off when she's always so negative about amanda at billy Like for no reason and billy's like do you know what i mean? Like he doesn't agree with her. So she just looks like a fucking paranoid bitch Yeah, like she never hasn't said anything nice about anyone in a long time And allyson Yeah, allyson's like rolling her eyes because she doesn't buy amanda's little nice act She's like love the miss congeniality act It's like the perfect way to play her to to act sweet as pie in front of everybody Yeah, and just have allyson look like a bad person and like a unstable bitch at jake's apartment Jess is like let's just clear the air about joe Where'd this come from? Jake jake did look bad in this instance. He did calm down freak. He did and What jess is referring to is the fact that jake like didn't want jess to help joe with her box More ways than one He didn't want jess to assist joe with um handling her box and um Jess is like obviously you feel something for her and I want to respect that And jake is like We weren't even really serious. We were even or he said we were really serious and we were business partners for a while And I think bring that up You mean your business that burned down I just think it was funny because it's like so unnecessary. Yeah, he's like Um, I can see us getting back together sometime And then jess is like cool. Can I borrow a shirt? Yeah joe is special He's she's special to him. Right um So back at dnd Amanda and brook go into allison's office because she needs to yell at them and she's like, why wasn't the lamburt campaign sent out like why wasn't this Memo sent to the lamburt campaign And the man is just like I never received a memo. Yeah, she's like innocent. Yeah And then allison says don't you dare play dumb with me She sounds just like old school Amanda. Here's what's crazy about allison Like if you truly feel this way, why would you even hire her back if you think she's just going to sabotage you? I would have said to billy. No, I don't trust her that would have been the boss move because clearly She's trying to work some angle Yeah, but it's also like if even if you're wrong if you're always going to be paranoid about it Why would you put yourself in that position like yeah and clearly her instincts weren't wrong And amanda would never like it's amanda Yeah, do you really think she's going to be fine working her way up the ladder and at dnd Under you of all people no way. She's really dumb for this Um, and amanda expected her to be dumb. That's what makes it even more dumb She knows allison's a fool Like how cool would it have been and like how much would it have owned amanda if allison just was like no I'm not hiring her back and that was it to be honest. I don't even think the board would approve this Because they'd be like, why would she? Want this job? It's suspicious. Yeah, it is suspicious um so Yeah, after allison says to amanda, don't you dare play dumb with me billies like looks like he's going to throw up This is like some serious confrontation happening And amanda's like, well, I never received the memo And then brook goes oh Oh allison. It looks like the memo was buried on your desk. It never got to amanda She's so innocent. Yeah, whoopsie Do you think so do you think brook put it under a lot of papers? Of course. She did. Yeah, they did plan this They say this is the end of the episode. Yeah, um Anyway, let's take a quick break here. We'll be right back This summer insta card presents famous summer flavors come into your front door or pool Or hotel your grocery delivery has arrived, sir. That was faster than room service No violence in the lobby. Oh, seriously Anyway, sit back relax and get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes Starring your favorite snacks tricks and more Download and start for free delivery on your first three orders rated h for hungry audiences offer valid for a limited time minimum Ten dollars per order excludes restaurants additional terms and fee supply Hey marketers want a matchmaker to set you up with your perfect audience We'll look no further Get intimate right away with host red sponsorships with a cast Use acasts self-serve ad platform to search and partner up with a podcast or two from our network of more than 100,000 shows Have them sing your praises in their own words And get their listeners ready to be wooed into loyal customers. It's the ultimate loving endorsement book host red sponsorships with acast Head to go.acast.com/closer to get started At the beach house Sydney arrives wearing black oj gloves She's ready to She's ready to plant some evidence. She's a cat burglar She's a cat burglar mode and She puts some second all pills in kimberley's vitamin bottle I love that anyone would mistake those for vitamins. They're so different. This is so dumb Yeah, second all does not look like a vitamin vitamins are like solid pills usually that are like huge Right, they're like horse pills Unless they're the clear capsule I guess but the more common ones to me where they're kind of brown and speckled or something a brick It's not what I think of when I think of a vitamin. They're chunky. Yeah, they got a lot of stuff in them I don't know if I've ever taken second all before but aren't they like round No, these were like huge orange capsules Filled with the white powder, but also the vitamins were huge orange capsules. No, it's crazy I feel like anyone would know that about my vitamin I've never seen a orange capsule vitamin in my life And if you were taking them, you would be like that's not what that is it would have been It would have been funnier if Sydney hid Ecstasy pills in her flint stone vitamin Because they're colorful too. Oh my god That would have been funnier if like Kimberly was like rolling and just thought this was crazy I agree. I my opinion second all is like a small circle I could yeah, I don't know. I could be totally wrong. That's what I think of I mean I don't know. It's a bad plan that it's stupid It should have been like put it in her protein powder Yes Like open up second all and put it in her protein powder that I believe right um So Michael enters And he's and full Mode Why why does he go home for lunch when he lives so far? I'm just why does he do this He is moseying over to the kitchen And doesn't see Sydney and she ducks down and hides behind a counter And he does that thing where he's like about to walk into the kitchen and then he goes hmm and he like He's like literally rubbing his tommy like I'm hungry. Like so This is like the worst acting you can ever see but for some reason I'm like, I love this Who's directing this? He's literally like oh my tommy Rumbly Yeah, like in case you guys couldn't guess michaels about to enter the kitchen and blow Sydney's cover Right, and it's like I don't need to know why he's walking in the kitchen Sometimes you just aimlessly walk into the kitchen and open the fridge like I do it all the time I don't need you to rub your tommy I don't think i've ever rubbed my tummy when I was hungry once The way he's like we can see his internal monologue during this season is Just genius. I think he's my favorite actor He's my favorite actor. I can't um He grabs an apple. So he doesn't have to go in the kitchen. No, he grabs it. All that stress for nothing and so Sydney escapes Okay, they are not at the ivy. They are at Montezino's restaurant Yes, michael and amanda He gives her a marquee's cut engagement ring She literally laughs as solitaire markey's cut it diamond is a big diamond too It's huge and she bursts into laughter and he's like i'm serious. I'd love you and she goes i'm not marrying you and then She's like look i'm better now. I'm like That was when I was dying She's like I only wanted to see what I was almost dead. That was like a convenience This is so cold She's like i'm actually not interested in seeing you anymore Our relationship was based on need and that no longer exists anymore. Like i'm i'm well, not sick anymore. Yeah And michael's pissed. He's like do you have any idea what i've been through to be with you And she tries to get up to leave and he's like i'd love you dammit and she's like, that's not my problem Yeah I love it. He's furious. He's so mad so mad He's acting like Brett michael when Brandy was like i'm leaving have a nice life Um the next day at the hospital Michael is approached by detectives who want to talk to him about kimberly shaw's alleged poisoning Yeah, she's already gone to the cops Yeah, they're like dr. Shaw accused you of trying to kill her and he's like look my wife can be uh dramatic He's like let me talk to her And then the cop is like well she has said she has a witness And they're like he's like yeah, right and they're like well By the way like we had a sertorn and we searched your house and we found shit We found the vitamin bottle full of second all yeah And he's like this is nuts He can't believe it at d&d Allison needs amanda to work late and billy He's like she's like doing an that thing amanda used to do to both of them Yeah, she's turned into amanda, but she's not as good at it She's party city amanda. Yeah um Billie stays behind in allison's office and he's like you could take it a little easier on amanda and allison is furious at this suggestion She's like how dare you? She's so bad at this and then brook is like listening outside and brook is like she's got a little michael man seany in her because she's like actively listening and like smiling and running off to tell I also didn't understand like she didn't hear anything juicy No, but she acted like she was gonna do something so devious with this information this bitch thinks she's various Varis from game of thrones I think that maybe she's just excited that allison is losing it Yeah, kind of maybe I don't know, but yeah, I agree. I want some I want better tea It should have been like when we fucked on this desk Yes, that and she left and Billie says to allison. I'm just telling you not to be a stupid bitch And allison is yelling she's yelling she's like amanda's my employee So billie leaves her office and goes and complains to brook and she's like, yeah, I heard I was listening And brook is like I have an idea We should go play air hockey at the Santa Monica pier Billie's like air hockey. Why is he pretending he doesn't love air hockey? He honestly seems like an air hockey guy and a foosball guy He and he thinks I'm like really good at it He thinks he's really good at it. Yeah, and it's like as if it's an olympic fucking sport. Yeah, and Billie says okay Be prepared to lose That made no sense. I was like you seem like you didn't want to do it And now be prepared to lose honestly the second gee said the Santa Monica pier. I was out Yeah, I am not driving to Santa Monica from Where are they again mid wilshire They're in mid sell they're in Or mid city I think they're mid city, but that would be a hell drive to drive at 5 pm from mid city To Santa Monica. That's like an hour and a half. You got to be out of your fucking mind There's no way and then you get there. It's freezing fucking cold No, and then like the pier closes in like a half hour or something. Stay openly. This is so dumb Um michael goes to kimberly and he's like attempted murder. Are you out of your mind? That's the kind of shit I pull Yeah, and there's squabbling And he's like I didn't let you die. I saved your ass He's like you have no proof and he leaves And kimberly says to herself wrong michael very wrong That night at the beach house Michael is tearing apart the deck looking for the suicide note Yeah, it's like he just thought of this Like what did he think happened to it? He's tearing apart the deck and then he realizes Sydney took it. He's like Sydney. Yeah So he calls shooters. He's like he took it didn't you and she's like well hello michael and She's acting on keti and she's like if you want the note, it's for sale And then he's like fine Meet me on wilshire and grove And with it's orange grove. Well, they're at a cute looking diner Yes And Sydney's like oh boy. I'm gonna get a cheeseburger And michael's like the hell you are He's like I don't I don't break bread with backstabbers And um But we're still at shooters now. Sorry. We got ahead. Yeah, we got ahead of ourselves She leaves Jess And he goes to clean some bus some tables. Yeah, sorry rewind Sydney Sydney agrees to meet michael and wilshire at a coffee shop Jess has taken shots At work Yeah, he's like He's just full on bad now. He's not trying to hide it And Sydney's like You're not supposed to do that and he goes it's my brother's place And she calls him a loser and leaves He is a loser Jess is clearing a table and he pockets a credit card that somebody left behind I don't know why the credit card made me laugh because it looked so 90s Like I had just gone through that machine. It was so 90s Um, remember when people would swipe your card for you. Yeah That's how it was done. Remember you had to put that piece of paper down. Oh, that's really old That's but sometimes even back then they still had that machine Yeah, the like Because they didn't up a lot of people just wouldn't update because they couldn't afford it. It was probably like whatever So I remember the first time going to a grocery store and they're like we use Chip, it's it's like a chip now But even before that they just there was some point where all of a sudden cashiers Made you swipe it yourself Because it used to be like on the register Right. There was like a swipe on the register. Yeah, they would do it You'd give them your credit card at the grocery store and they would swipe it for you And then it became that little box that was separate that you'd had to do it yourself Yeah, not that it's some big fucking task. I just don't remember being like why I feel like I never got an explanation for that Right because it's like it's not like self-check out where you understand they're saving money by not hiring people Like how did what's their advantage here? A, what's their advantage? But B, was there some kind of national crisis that happened that we're like well now there was like some incident I do think covid made apple pay and stuff like that more common for that. I know Way before that. I don't know because you you have to assume there's some advantage To the business. I'm telling you I went to my grocery store one day in 2008 And they're like, well, we don't take your card anymore. You swipe it No, because they had that little box. Yes, you could put your phone number in and I always fuck it up Yeah, put your phone number in. I just want to know why it's not that I think it's bad I just want to know why I don't know what was the point So Yeah, just swipes this fucking credit card. He's such a loser Meanwhile billy and brook are at the pier And he's like whining about he's like I used to have fun with elson He's like, but now this was more fun and the best time with you And then there's standing on like the pier Looking out at the ocean and they're just like standing there doing nothing but like brook is like Leaning her nose into billy's face like trying to get a kiss and they just don't kiss for a very long time It's like that This was creepy. I was like, what are you doing here? Because there's no sexual tension necessarily where you're like kiss kiss right you get really uncomfortable because you're like what's going on? This was like an art film. This was like Because it made no sense why it was lingering on this shot because she's not even saying anything like you want to but you're not doing it Like do you know what I mean? Like add some context like that maybe like you're so close to my lips right now And you're you're fighting it like right on him Taunt him a little bit. No, it was just awkward silence and he had like this vacant expression on his face He's like don't fucking come to Yeah, he's like trying to think about Foos ball. Well, he's trying to keep it together, but it's like to be honest. Why You're not in a relationship. She's now not in a relationship. Like who gives a shit? Yeah So Michael waits for Sydney at the coffee shop And she arrives and she's like, oh golly. I want a cheeseburger I love it. And he's like, what's your price? And he's like, she's like, I want $50,000 Now This scheme is so funny because How the hell does she end up getting at all? She It doesn't make sense to me. I know. Yeah, it's so dumb. It's so dumb She she fucking outsmarts both of them two doctors Um, and he's pissed. He's like fine. I'll hand it over right so and did she give it She gives him the note right away, right? Yes Um Oh, no, she says you'll get it as soon as the money is in my account, right? She's got her little thing and he goes, you know, Sid I'd watch my back because neither me or the missus like you very much The next day at dnd brook tells billy that mr. Lambert is like really upset But that allison is not in she's at her aa meeting So what should I do? What should I do And billy's like just say she's out of the office and then amanda shows up. She goes I don't mean the eavesdrop, but putting off lamber is a big mistake She says allah. I'll take the phone call and they're just like, okay Amanda Oh, by the way, she's wearing This light blue skirt suit with a pleated skirt and it is so cute with these like big buttons It's kind of like yeah sailor style or like double brett. It's sickening No, I like her subordinate look. I need to know who makes this skirt suit I need to know who makes this skirt suit because I want to find it. Yeah um Amanda tells mr. Lambert Immediately she's like hi mr. Lambert by the way allison's on aa meeting. She's a drunk He's like she was a sloppy messy drunk and that's probably why your memo was late imagine saying that To someone like this is so evil um At shooters Jess is like sitting down With jake and he's like he really wants to go out to dinner with joe and jake And jake's like I don't know about that But then he's like come on remember when we were kids and mom was drunk or whatever He like guilt trips him and jakes like okay And then jess is like and wear something nice. Yeah Later allison arrives back from her meeting That she clearly took nothing from Because she's still a bitch, but she's also kind I loved my meetings Yeah, she's she's not she's not internalizing anything um Brook tells allison That mr. Lambert was angry so they had to put amanda on the phone And now mr. Lambert wants amanda to be his account rep exclusively Yeah, so allison's not happy And then brook tells allison. I think amanda's gunning for your job So is this to throw her off the trail I don't know why she did this because it's also a little bit of a double agent move. It's a double agent move Is she just doing this to like be chaotic or to make allison appear paranoid and off-kilter? Brook is honestly The best character intro we've had like in so long. Yeah, like she's a legend on the show So i'm just like so excited by her Because it's like everything she does is pure chaos She's incredible And she started off like right off the bat. She started off doing like iconic shit so Allison's like get Lambert on the phone And brooks like you know allison you can count on me to be your eyes and ears So exactly the same thing that she promised amanda. She do. Yeah Maybe at this point she's still kind of hedging her bets Like which is the best route for me, right? Kimberly is getting ready to leave the hospital and go home And michael's like, hmm. Look what I got. It's your suicide note And he starts reading it out loud and mocking her And then he's like and guess what you're gonna do you're gonna drop the charges Yeah And she's like and then you're gonna take a job out of state and get the hell out of my life He's done and then she grabs the note and tears it up and he's like that's a copy. I had 200 made and he's like And if you don't leave this state, I'm gonna tell everyone at the hospital that you that this is your suicide note So they'll all think you're like crazy That's so evil Yeah, this is diabolical And he's literally like and I I I want you homeless on the beach Like he's like I want you living on her and hunt her past He just keeps going. He keeps going like nothing is too low for him. No, and she is losing her mind I mean if you think about it too, it's like What did she do to him to make him hate her this much? She just caught she just cramped his style. She cramped his style, but didn't she also try and kill him? Yes, but he deserved it. Well, he's got to give her that He's got to give her that one time Yeah, all she did was nag him and that was enough for him to hate her guts. Yes so Dinner, okay, it's dinner time with jake jess and joe There at some restaurant. It's called the golden ball The gold I haven't ever in my life heard of the golden ball. Also this restaurant looked like a lodge This is like jess's idea of fancy. Yes. I was like, where did they go riverside? Like where is this lodge just restaurants in riverside? Or central california. I don't know where this is There's this place when you're driving down the five to go to disneyland That looks like a log cabin sweetish villa type place. I think it even has like snow on the roof Like fake snow looking snow and I always whenever I pass it. I'm like, I want to go there I wait. There's a restaurant called the golden bowl Oh, maybe where's that this is in Sherman It's in the valley sure the golden bowl. Okay. That's a like a fast food Chinese restaurant Oh, like maybe I read it wrong. No, I'm like obsessed with finding some of these like defunct There's this way to cool. Listen to this the golden bowl Santa Monica chops american standards cocktails served in an old-fashioned wood-paneled space So does that still existing? Yeah, it's still existing. It's in Santa Monica Where is that? There's sister restaurants. Wait. I need to see a picture of those too Because this definitely had a steakhouse vibe I think it's the golden bowl. Yeah, because I mean it's very easy the font This is like a lot of booths. Okay, but look at the signage out front. This place looks like it's This looks like an old place Look at the signage out front. Do you see it? It's it looks cheap I'm pausing this so we can investigate. Hold on. So this restaurant if it is the same place Is an iconic steakhouse in Santa Monica and Tennessee Williams Truman Capote and Christopher Isherwood Dined there Wow And Jess And Jess they dined there in the mid 60s The guy who owned the bowl from 86 to 7 2017 said if those walls could talk Ooh, we should we should see if there's some stories Yeah, that's really funny Anyway, we didn't even know if that's the right restaurant, but it could be What's happening? Okay, we're having a lovely time at dinner. Everything's going smoothly Even though Jess is like trying to bring the room down talking about childhood stories Yeah, he's like remember that time I got busted You got and I got a beaten from my dad. No, he's like, I've been there where everyone's telling their childhood stories and that's like Desi That's not relatable But at least you say it in a funny way. I'm not trying to get like sympathy necessarily He's trying to bring the room down. Yeah, he definitely is He's or he has an agenda He has an agenda because he wants to chip away at Jake and like get his digs in where he can and then Jess is like, I'm gonna pay I'm gonna pay for this meal Jake Jake is a wild for this. He says I thought you filed for bankruptcy and they took away your credit cards and then Jake's like, let me see it. Let me see that credit card you got I was like gagged In front of joe This was so embarrassing in front of joe and And jess is like you think I lifted it And then jank says well wouldn't be the first time I mean, he's he's right too, but still like To just go out and say this like if I were jake, I would have like peaked at it No, he's literally like Literally immediately like let me see that credit card Like let me look did you file for bankruptcy in front of joe so embarrassing here's just all of it Here's what I would have done is I would have thrown down my card too and when jess was like, no We're like, come on. Let me pay like fine. And then I like grab his by accident Yeah, and then be like, oh whoops. I got yours and then be like, hey, this says Sherry papini on it Whatever I agree jake should have been more subtle and not let jess think he was suspicious And then jess could have gone to the bathroom and then he could you know what I mean? Like there was so many other ways to handle it But once jake jess knew he was suspicious. He wasn't leaving that card Plus jake was being so mean about it. I mean it was funny But he was like so it wasn't even like jokey like hey and lift that one like it was just totally accusatory from the get-go it was so funny and Joe was like jake Jake you don't have to say that And jess is furious. He's like fine Thought we were brothers and he storms out And joe follows him and she's like jess Why is she so why does she care so much about him? She's like you got to be patient with him And then they have this weird moment where there's just there's a lot of staring at people wondering if they're going to kiss in this episode Yeah, that's the theme and she just there's like looking at each other because he's kind of flirty with her Yeah, and she's like into it. He's so gross. He's sleazy He's like not even a hot dirt bag Not i'm not talking about in a physical way just like his attitude sucks He's not like sexy. Well, he's not charming. No, and it's like I could be attracted to a bad guy Who charms me? Yeah, and then I find out later he's a dirt bag Or you're kind of like i'm sick for this Yeah, i'm his kind of hot. Yeah, but he is not hot because he's he's a baby Because he's a bad guy in a way that's like loser Yeah, it's like i don't want to go out with some guy who steals people's credit cards at shooters Yeah, like that's loser like Everything he does is loser behavior and it's like maybe yeah, like everything and especially all combined It's like and you wear denim shorts. Yeah, when you go for a swim like what's wrong with you I don't want anything to do with you. No, it's all together. It's bad Um, what was that drop my lip gloss? Okay Um, we got to like cunty for when we do bitch slap. Yeah And I need to have my lips glossed Just kisses joe on the cheek, but it's like too long. It's a long kiss and she's like oh She's gonna in love to mark Yeah It was too. It wasn't like it wasn't sweet I bet this guy smells like the worst beow He smells like beow that's been covered up by a deodorant, but not a good one No, it's like old spice deodorant. I like old spice. No, this is the blue gel one Is that bad? It's like the more modern version. Oh, I don't think it's I like old spice too I love old spice. It's one of my favorite scents I think I think it's like old spice tried to like be more modern. No, they had like a new scent They had a new scent that flopped. It's a flop. They just need to do the original He probably also liked like aqua valva ew But you could smell the onion you I'm saying he's he looks like he smells like onion soup And he probably also smells like bar fluid barf I bet he smells like barf fluid. He just smells like a lot of really unpleasing scents mixed together That's all covering stuff and his breath is like hot and like stinky Ugh, I'm sick. I'm gonna throw up. I'm gonna do a brand Like when he could if you were gonna kiss me on the cheek I'd be like, please don't do that again It would smell like you could smell his like bad breath on your cheek smell like funions for like a week smell You know you can smell someone's breath on you. It's never good. It's like Yeah, he just has a bad scent Um Allison goes over to billy's apartment. She's like billy. I'm gonna need those reports by noon tomorrow And then she kisses him and she's like hey and he's like unresponsive No, she's not sexy and she's like billy What's going on? And he's like you've changed since you got promoted You're rude. Yeah, he's like you're rude And she's like, you know what? I want those reports first thing in the morning. The noon deadline was for someone I cared about Yeah, you didn't fuck me get them to me by eight a.m That was what she doing not serious sexual harassment illegal, this is so illegal. This is Harassment in the workplace now. She's in trouble Billy could ruin her Yeah, he really could Kimberly stops by melrose place And to tell sydney that she's leaving town and sydney's like cool. Bye She doesn't give a shit and kimberley's like I just want to let you know that I may be gone, but I will be back and I will get back at you I'm still baffled through her shenanigans that she got the whole hundred great because she She based so basically kimberley paid her $50,000 to hide the pills Michael gave her $50,000 to give the note But neither one of them knew the other person gave away the other $50,000 because he thought he was keeping the other $50,000 right they both did such idiot It's just like this is like the gift of the match We're like both do something It is crazy crazy that she got away with this like How how are they so stupid she's so lucky Um Amanda meets brook at a bar and this bar was crazy Why was this why did this bar have like Fucking saved by the bells squiggles and triangles and neon decorating it no it was like 50s a little bit of that But we're all so dark and but it was like 80s. Yeah, it was like like the 80s 50s Why did it have all that neon inside? Where was this bar? We've never seen it before Where did Allison where did Amanda take her this place looks like um There's like a a dead body in the in the freezer Amanda like knows places that no one else at Melrose knows She's deeply uncool And she knows some weird ass places this bar was probably like in marina del ray This was a dive She's like meet me there because no one from Melrose place goes this far west This was the scariest bar i've ever seen in my life and the fact that there was like neon squiggles and like shapes Decorating the walls like in multiple colors like added this like sin extra sinister vibe Because it's like why is it still this supposed to be like a party, but it's like so dark. Yeah No, I don't know. I can't really describe it. I kind of need to go back and like take a picture of it right just so I can Have I don't know there was something very like off about this, but she's like she's been there before because she knows what she wants Yeah, they make a good. I don't I don't buy this place makes it good martini Amanda thinks Amanda thinks like oh, this is my hidden gem. She thinks she's like John I think gold. Yes, but she's not because she has terrible taste. No, it's like what amousos and get a martini Except for her cunty little baby blue skirt suit. She was wearing no but her her decor and her like Places the places she likes to go or either like old man country club right or the shithole Or this like this is what she thinks is like edgy dive She's like not her age Do you know what I mean? She's like way older than she's because she's trying to be like a 60-year-old man. Yeah She's like trying to be her dad. I wouldn't be surprised She's like the type of woman who smokes cigars. Yeah, 100% with the old the old boys club She 100% smokes cigars. She's never smoked a cigarette in her life. Not even in the 80s. No She loves cigars At a meeting at like a or like a fucking she's like sitting in those like Red leather chairs. She's not gonna miss when they're talking about smoking cigars Right and she's got to be there and she's like researched a lot so she knows a lot about cigars And she she has like a seller in her apartment. Yeah, one of the rooms I bet palmer taught her about cigars. Yeah, I bet he was like and I was sweetie That was like one of their bonding moments when she was like five He's like you cut the tip off right here. I got that she used to cut the tips for him It's a little girl He any like letter try when he's like now you just want a puff you don't want to inhale She knew how to use a zippo lighter when she was like six. Yeah She definitely mixed his drinks. She would fill it for him. Yeah, the zippo Oh, I do not like cigars. Oh, they make me sick They do not like them. I don't like the smell of them. I like the smell of them when they're unlit Yes, but I don't like when as soon as someone's like puffing away Did you remember that cigar shop in san en salmo? Yes, that's kind of my comforts On the corner there. Yeah, of course. Yeah, did they also sell cigarettes there? I feel like they had cigarettes and they had they had other things because I that would have been the only reason I went there was to buy cigarettes Um anyway, so yeah, Amanda and Brooke are meeting they're officially in cahoots That's what this is about and we know she's chosen Amanda because she's like I'll have a dry martini too She goes like extra dry. Yeah, so she's like emulating Amanda fully now Yeah, so she sees that Amanda wears the skirt suit better. Yeah, then Allison Allison's an imitator Yeah, she's never going to be Amanda Woodward. No, so she made her decision and she made the right one I'm excited because now this means that my favorite dnd storyline is coming up Miss molly's cookies. Yes. Yeah, wait. Did you see that episode is that episode coming up? Did you watch it? Yeah, I'm watching a hi because I have so much to do right, but I laughed. Okay, that's my all-time favorite That is my all-time favorite dnd story I know it's so good. I can't wait to jog around when I saw heard the company name. I laughed out loud I was like, oh my god. I'm so excited right now. It takes such a good turn. It's no. It's so good It's crazy. Like I laugh thinking about it. It's so good. I was like, I was shook It's like there's also this split second where you see it coming before anyone else dies You're like, oh my god. No, they are not Okay, okay, we'll talk about it next week. 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Sydney is a cat burglar, Michael wants to go to The Ivy, Amanda acts innocent, Alison makes another dumb decision, Billy argues with Alison, Jake makes a bold move at dinner, and Jo thinks Jess is a good guy.
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