Bitchslap
Melrose Place S3 E22 - And the Winner Is...
Billy and Alison kiss, Amanda and Michael go to Santa Barbara, Jane gets Jake to wear a tux, Matt trades barbs with Kimberly, Jo is dressing cute again, and Sydney hangs out with cowboys.
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- Duration:
- 1h 16m
- Broadcast on:
- 24 Jun 2024
- Audio Format:
- mp3
Since 2013, Bombus has donated over 100 million socks, underwear, and t-shirts to those facing homelessness. If we counted those on-air, this ad would last over 1,157 days. But if we counted the time it takes to make a donation possible, it would take just a few clicks. Because every time you make a purchase, Bombus donates an item to someone who needs it. Go to bombus.com/acast and use code ACAST for 20% off your first purchase. That's bombus.com/acast, code ACAST. Ryan Reynolds here for, I guess, my hundredth mint commercial. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Honestly, when I started this, I thought I'd only have to do like four of these. I mean, if unlimited premium wireless for $15 a month, how are there still people paying two or three times that much? I'm sorry, I shouldn't be victim blaming here. Give it a try at midmobile.com/switch, whatever you're ready. $45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month, new customers on first three-month plan only, taxes and fees extra, speeds lower above 40 gigabytes of CDTales. Hello, welcome to Bitch Slap. This is Rachel Fisher. This is Desi Jettiken, and this is Melrose Place Season 3, Episode 21. And the winner is... Not Amanda. Damn, that was so fucked up. I couldn't believe it. This is a great episode. First of all, I got Chills when we saw a special guest star, Kristen Davis. Yeah, this is the first appearance of Brooke Armstrong, an iconic character. Yes, she really... Her storyline is so good. Well, it's funny to see her come on and how innocent she is, Anishis, even though she does kind of push something shady. Yeah, but she's like so cute, and she's like this, whatever, we'll get to that. And then the other special guest star that I got Chills in a negative way scene was Chuck Woolery. Now, Desi, a few years ago, you got blocked by Chuck Woolery, and I found the evidence today. And let me tell you why Desi got blocked by Chuck Woolery. So Chuck Woolery tweeted something stupid, and you went after him. I did. First, you said you wouldn't know eloquence if it slapped you in the face with its big dick. That's pretty eloquence. And then you said, you also said later on, be real, have you ever had a woman come on your mouth? And then he said, you are vile now, aren't you blocked? And then before that, before he blocked you, you said, honey, trust me, you've never awakened any vagina. Leave all pussies alone until you've tasted one. Wow, I was really defending women's rights. Yeah, because he tweeted, he was like mad about, I don't know, he was mad about something. He like tweeted something sexist, and he was like, apparently all the vaginas have gotten mad. Right, I don't even remember, but this is my first celebrity I discussed. Yeah, he also was like, America's sweetheart. I think that he looked at my bio and took that seriously. Yes, Chuck, I am. So this was before AirBud? Oh, I was thinking of Vincent and Alfred. Yeah, yeah. And I did get AirBud mad too. I think they were around the same time. I was on a roll. You kind of used to pop off on people on Twitter. Well, the weird thing is that they would respond to me, because I think that was what was so good about not having these verified accounts. Yeah. You could be seen by someone, even if you weren't verified or famous, and now you kind of have to be verified to be seen or promoted in any way. Oh, yeah, the whole system's so screwed up. Unless you buy, you pay for Twitter, which I will never fucking do ever. No, so that's what you're losing, people. It's true. By these changes. You're losing these important celebrity interactions. Now, let's get into the episode. Kimberly, I said this was episode 21. It's episode 22. I don't want people to get confused. I don't remember. Anyway, Kimberly surprises Michael in the locker room. She says, "I see you came here straight from the airport." And she's pissed that he didn't call when he arrived back in Los Angeles from New York. It is crazy that he just went straight to work without calling. Yeah. But I mean, obviously he hates her now. So it's not crazy in that regard, but he's not even trying. He's been so brazen. And he's all smiley because he just got fucked by Amanda. That's right. That's where we left off. Right. So she confronts him about Amanda. And he's like, "Come on, babe. I didn't share a hotel room with her. That's unethical." And she's like, "If I find out your line, there is going to be hell to pay." He's like, "I would never bang someone with cancer." She's got cancer, babe. Come on. You really think I would do that? Fuck that cancer pussy. But he doesn't really make an explanation either. He's not like, "This is why she answered my..." Do you know what I mean? No, he doesn't even say she just happened to be in my room because she got scared or she was having an episode. Or they were waiting for her room to be cleaned up. Or something. Anything. Yeah. I didn't even say anything. He just was like, "Do you really think I'd have sex with someone with cancer?" That's unethical. Yeah. Anyway. He's like a machine. Kimberly calls Amanda, who's at her apartment, and she's like, "Keep your claws out of my husband." And then she suggests that Amanda dial 1-800-GET YOUR OWN MAN. It's like, "That's too long for a phone number." It kind of reminded me that telling someone to dial a 1-800 number is a very '90s joke. Yeah. Because we have so many 1-800 numbers. And they always do. And they always did have that kind of clever little thing. Right. But there would be the number that was slightly different. They would have 1-800-GET MY JUNK or whatever. But they would have a number that the words said something. Right. She didn't go that far. She didn't go that far. So, Amanda's getting chemo and he has to yank her cell phone away. Because he's like, "I want you to stop doing work calls." She's career-obsessed. She will not get off that damn phone. No. And the oncologist who we were meeting for the very first time is there. And he's like, "I agree with Dr. Mancini." Yeah. It's like, "Well, you're the oncologist. Why do you have to agree with him? You're in charge." This guy's acting like he's Dr. Mancini's assistant. No, it's so funny to finally see this oncologist. He's like, "I agree with Dr. Mancini. You need to rest." And Amanda's like, "Well, my career motivates me to get well." And then the oncologist is like, "Well, your blood pressure is up. You need to take a leave of absence from work." And Michael's like, "Yeah." And he sits in front of the oncologist. He's like, "It just so happens that I made reservations at the Royal Canyon Ranch in Santa Barbara." Yeah. He's like full on acting like they're dating in front of people as if he's not married. Do you know what I mean? It's just like, "You're married, sir." And he's doing this as her, his patient, too. Like he's doing it in his place of work. Even if he wasn't married, this is inappropriate. But you're married. You're not even separated. Like, anything? Right. And no one knows that. If you are, no, everybody at, it's like everybody at Wilshire Memorial except for Kimberly is like, "Yeah, they're an item now." Yeah. Amanda's like, "I can't, Michael. I have the advertising awards." Yeah. It's the century, the century award. The century award. And she's up for print out of the year. And he's like, "Okay, we'll just go for a day and maybe a night." And then you can decide if you want to go back for the awards. And she's like, "I'll think about it." Back in the locker room, Kimberly is like, "Excuse me. You're going to Santa Barbara for work." And Michael says, "Well, they're short on residence." And so they need me for the weekend. But they're going to pay me a lot. And he's like, "You know, now that I think about it, I might be working weekends a lot." He's so brazen that he would just come back from New York and immediately go away with Amanda again. Like, "Well, he doesn't tell Kimberly that, but nevertheless." No, but I'm just saying he's going away with Amanda. Like, he has no chill as far as trying to keep things secret. Yeah. Like, this is dumb. Because it's suspicious period. Right. Just go over to her apartment while Kimberly's working. I don't know. Or just, like, take a step back so you don't get caught. Well, that was fun to do. It's Erin, because Kimberly's on high alert now. That's, like, my point. So anything he does, she's going to eventually try to find out if it's on the up and up. Right. So he's like, "Well, what about this?" And he hands her a brochure for Maui. And he's like, "We're going to go to Maui." I like that he just has brochures. It's like, "Well, where's the fucking plane tickets?" That's what we mean. The plane tickets have to be in the brochure. But she's like, "Oh!" I was like, "Are you dumb? Like, what is going on?" No, she's, like, so won over by just this little brochure. He gave her. At D&D, Billie and Allison are really excited while they're telling Amanda that, like, they saved the Franklin Cruise Line account. And she's like, "What do you mean saved it?" Why would they do that? Wouldn't you just be like, "Shh!" Like, you wouldn't say Jack Shit. No. Like, it's crazy. No. And she's like, "But you know what? This is also really annoying because where we last left off, they lost the account." Why did they do this story-wise? Do you know what I mean? Like, we would have, did they just not want Amanda to be mad? So they, like, had to switch it up? I think they just wanted her to be medium-mad. I guess. It's so weird. And Amanda's like, "What are you talking about? Saved." And then Billie's like, "You didn't leave this solid campaign in the first place." That was bold of Billie, I have to say, because Allison would never get away with saying that. No. Amanda is like, "Well, I want the quarterly reports on my desk Monday morning." She's obsessed with these quarterly reports. Yeah, we don't even know what they're about. That's just like business. Like, the writers are just like, "I don't know, quarterly reports." Again. That sounds like company stuff. This is exactly how Dazina would write a business. Yeah. And I need those papers. Stat. I need the reports and the files on my desk immediately. So, also, on top of that, she's mad that Allison didn't submit Amanda for the advertising awards. And she has one day left to do it. Yeah. Like, Allison still hasn't turned the papers in. That seems like something your secretary or assistant would do. Like, why is the VP of whatever Allison is doing that? Yeah. No, it's so stupid. And she's pissed. So, she's like, "Well, guess what? You get to go to Long Beach now to the awards office." And any of us who live in L.A. are like, "Shit." You know, that made me like... I was like, "Fuck." Scared. My day is ruined. Her whole day is ruined. It's the middle of the day. She's like driving to Long Beach at 1 p.m. She's going to have to drive back at 2.30. Brush hour. And it's going to be rush hour. It's going to be a nightmare. So... She also tells Allison when she drops off the submission to let it slip that she's very ill. This is great because Amanda's finally realizing the power that she can have with this illness now. She's like, "Look, I might as well get a few things." She can pick and choose who she... Yeah, who she admits it to. That made a shooter's... Sydney's talking to Jake. And he's like, "Look, I'm seeing Jane." And she's like, "Well, Jake, there's some things you should know about my sister." She's all about flash and style. I love at some point during her rant about how stuck up Jane is. She's like, "And trust me, I don't have a hidden agenda." I was like, "I love that she said it." I love that she said it. And I love that she's painting her sister of being... I don't think Jane is not like this at all. Well, I don't think Jane would give a shit. Like, look at Michael. He's not some fashion plate. No, Jake looks good. He's not wearing high fashion, but he has a classic style. He's better dressed than Michael. Yeah, especially in 1992. Yeah, come on. We remember what he wore in that first season. So she's like, "Look, I'm only telling you because I care." She's so desperate. Allison arrives at this office in Long Beach to turn in Amanda's entry form. And we meet Brooke Armstrong, played by Kristen Davis. And she's like, "Hi, I'm the awards coordinator." And she knows who Allison is. Yeah, Allison's like famous to her because she loves... Brooke used to be in advertising. And so to her, D&D is like this big company. Allison has this aspirational career, and she's a big fan of the glorious gowns account. We all are. It's the best account at D&D. So Allison's like, "Oh my God, thank you." And Brooke's like, "Well, she looks at the form, like the submission form for the awards." And she's like, "Wait a minute, what about the glorious gowns account?" And Allison's like, "Oh, well, that was my ad, but we're going to submit Amanda. She's going to be representing D&D in this category." And Brooke is like, "But glorious gowns was amazing." Like, what does this all mean? I want to see the ad. That's what I said. Amanda sounds kind of boring too. It's like electronics. It's like electronics. So you know it's just pictures of electronics? Yeah, it's not like anything super cool. I just wanted to see them. I wanted to see the glorious gowns. I do picture, I am picturing something lame though. I don't know, do we ever find out what glorious gowns sells? Is it like bridesmaid dresses? What is it? I just picture gowns for all your occasions, but they're not oak couture gowns. No, they're like at David's bridal. They're that level or they're like, "Do you remember when it would be prom season?" And all the teen magazines were stuffed with prom dress company ads. They're these brands that only make prom dresses basically. Right. So it's like a bunch of various styles, like a column dress, a full skirt. Right. And every different, whatever the hot colors are. And whatever the trend is, and I can only remember one brand right now from the 90s that was always one of those companies. It was called Zum-Zum. Do you remember that? No. The only time I bought a dress like that I got Jessica McClintock. Well, that's a classic dress. That was the only time I bought something. And of course I had to get that. Yeah. She was like the top tier of teen prom gowns. Yes. So, yeah, I do remember those. It's funny because I walked through a J.C. penny today, not to go through it, but I was getting out of the mall I was in. And I haven't been in that store in so long. And I was like, what are all these brands? Because it's like, I didn't recognize anything. It's just like a very funny store to be in. Because every department store has brands you don't see anywhere else. Right. And there's so much clothes. I was like, how is the store in business? There's like five people in here. Oh, yeah. And so much stuff. Do you know what I mean? It was crazy. I don't think even back in the day I've ever seen a J.C. penny full. It must be like a catalog store or something. Yeah. Or maybe it's popular in certain areas. I don't know. Yeah. It was just weird. It was like, but it's all those brands. I thought they went out of business. They still have hosts. At the gallery and there was one. Wow. Like, I literally just walked through to get to the parking lot. Like, so I kind of looked on my way out. Because it was sort of interesting. But did you go to prom? No. I bought a dress for something else, but it was prom style. Well, yeah. I didn't go to any. It was like, I can't remember what it was. It must have been like a sweet 16 or something. That's what I bought it for. Right. But no, I didn't go to any high school events ever. Mmm. I can't picture it. I bailed on everything. I did go into Manhattan that night though. Mmm. That's true. I don't know. I didn't do high school things. Yeah. And then I got expelled. I don't go. I did. I went to a junior prom when I was, or I went to a senior prom when I was a junior. Then I got removed from the public high school and I was at continuation high school. And I went to the prom with Spencer when we were both seniors. And I was at the continuation high school. I went to the public schools prom. So it wasn't your prom? It was not my prom. Got it. It was his prom. I was a date and I was probably kicked out for being very drunk. Shit. Yeah. I mean, I was drunk too, but I wasn't at prom. Anyway, I think glorious gowns makes prom dresses. Yes. Or occasion. Occasion dresses. Yeah, occasion dresses. Yeah. I want to see though. I want to see this fucking ad that's so good. I want to see a glorious gown. And I want to see a glorious gown. I want to see like, Alison wear it to an event or something. To represent. I just want to see what their style, like one of their styles. Come on. If I was good at drawing, I would like make my own ad. I can picture like at least one of their dresses as like that electric blue. Yeah. Or like they have the lace tank. It has the lace on the, it has the lace like at the top of the bodice. And with like sometimes the bodice would also be beaded too. With like sparkly lace. And like a fitted satin skirt with a sheer layer of chiffon over it. Yeah. Lots of side slits, like high side slits. Various satins. Anyway, so glorious gowns was like such a good ad. And Brooke like insists, even though Alison's like really unsure of this. She's like, I don't know. She's uncomfortable. She should not have done it. I'm sorry. This is like, there's no discomfort here for me. Like if I was Alison, I like, no, not doing it. Not doing it. It's not appropriate. And you know, it would have been a fun twist. She says no and Brooke submits it without her knowledge. Yeah. And she's truly taken aback when it happens. And then Amanda doesn't believe her. Do you know what I mean? Like that would have been better, I think. That would have been better. And then we would know Brooke was a little shady. Yeah. Or something was weird with her. Yeah. So Alison once again is a dumb ass. And she's like, okay. Let's do it. Why does she do this? It's infuriating. And then Brooke says, well, I want to get back into the ad business. So can I pick your brain sometime over lunch? And Alison's like so flatter that someone likes her. Yeah. But she's seen as this sort of successful ad person. Right. Back at D&D, Amanda has called Billie and Alison into her office. And she's like, look, I'm going to be out of the office tomorrow to take a rest day. And then she's like, and next week I'm going to be working out of my apartment. And she's like, I need you two to be in charge again, which I'm not happy about. And then Billie's like, what do you want us to do? It's like you've been running the place for weeks now. Why did he ask this? He's so dumb. No wonder she's worried. What do you want to do? Alison's the brains of this operation. And she's incompetent too. Oh my God. She's like, I'm going to need you to fax me the reports. Need those fucking quarterly reports. Where are they? Need you to fax them to the hotel in Santa Barbara. And Amanda's like, well, and then Amanda says, I hope the two of you can function better as a team than as a couple. She's like, I'm going to get, I got cancer, but I can still make some dicks. I'm not soft. That night Jane and Jake are returning from a fancy date. No explanation to where they went, where Jake would have needed to be wearing a tux. He was wearing a tux. Not a suit, a tux. And they don't say like, thanks for coming with me to the fashion gala ball. Or whatever, like something. The glorious gowns, extravagance. They went to the glorious gowns, elegansa ball. Yeah. Like something. Just throw something in there. We don't have to, we're not going to fact check it. Yeah. Fact check it. Make it up. I'm not wearing like a fancy dress, but not that fancy, not fancy. It felt like she was underdressed for what Jake was wearing. Why was he wearing a tux? Like that is, you're not wearing a tux to everything. No, that's like specific. That's very, like most places you're going to be fine with a suit. Right. A nice suit. Tux is like, that's like black tie. Tux is the Oscars. You're wedding, possibly. You're child's wedding. Some kind of formal ball situation. A gala. Yeah. Like an actual gala, not something that Jane is just invited to. No, like a charity gala or something. And your old money? Yeah. Your family is old money. I think they did it just to be like, see, Sydney was right. He's in a tux. Yeah. But it was kind of like, eh. No, they should have just done the classic scene of them at the restaurant where he's like, snails. Do I have these snails? The problem is Jane is not a snob. Yeah, she's not a snob. She's not. And she's like very thankful. She's like, oh my God, I really appreciate you coming with me tonight. And she starts unbuttoning his bow tie. And she's like, I'm glad to get this off. And he's like, oh, yeah. And they're like, have a perfectly normal, lovely rapport. Yeah. So Jane is like really turned on by the tux though. And so they start making out by the door. And we see Sydney watching furiously through the blinds. Through the blinds. Yeah, I love the great thing about Malrose Place is how everyone can look through their blinds at things happening that will destroy them. And I also love how it seems like no matter where you live in the building. Everyone has a view of every single other person's apartment or doorstep. Do you remember when Allison saw Susan and Billy? Yes. That was chilling. Yeah, that was so good. Meanwhile, Billy and Allison are eating Chinese food. This was disgusting. This was, I wish they should have put a warning before this scene because I was sick. This was really sick. They're like doing some work and they're eating Chinese food the way that only people in movies and TV eat it, which is right out of the containers. I do that. Okay, but alone. Yeah. Not sharing it with other people. I don't share it. It's my, that's my food in that container. Do you know what I mean? I've done that too. I'm saying when you're sharing stuff. No. You don't all, like, where are the plates? If you're sharing it, you don't just use chopsticks to take bites. No. It's disgusting, especially with these two. These two are disgusting and Billy's like, how are you enjoying the slippery shrimp? Slippery shrimp. It's like of all dishes. They got him to say that. I feel like the writers were mad at him. Slippery shrimp. Slippery shrimp. How are they slippery shrimp? Slippery shrimp. Now, this is a slippery shrimp are a real dish that yang chao here. So that's the one that's kind of like coated with like a sweet, it's kind of, I feel like they make that actually by coating it in mayo. No, that's the walnut shrimp. That's the walnut shrimp. That's the walnut shrimp. But what's the slippery shrimp? Slippery shrimp is like, it's like a, it's lighter than a sweet and sour shrimp. Like it's a lighter in color. So it's kind of like in. But it has a batter. It has a batter. It has a fried and it has a sauce that probably has sugar in it, most likely. Right. Um, they're feeding each other Chinese food because they also have kang pao. Right. He's like, can I have some kang pao? I was just like, no, I really, when he asked for some, I was like, I don't want to see this go back and forth. I also, I have no interest in feeding anyone or someone feeding me. No, I don't either. I don't even think about it. Don't fucking put things in my mouth. I want to make my own bite. I know what I want. I know what I want. Also, I don't want it to be shoved in my mouth. I need to navigate it myself. Right. Because especially if you're using, I mean, any utensil, I guess, because a fork could stab you too. But it's like, I don't want you putting a utensil in my mouth. You don't know where to gauge it. Also what if it's hot? I need to like gauge how hot it is before I just stick it in. Yeah. Come on. So they're like really turned on by this and they start kissing and the kiss is too close to the food going in because she literally sticks kung pao chicken in his mouth and literally they start making out. So she's got like a peanut in her mouth. Some of that transferred. No, they're like passing a peanut back and forth to each other. Like, I'm sorry. That was disgusting. They're so gross. Anyway, this is a great place to take a break. We'll be right back. I have a secret. I wore the wrong foundation for years. Then I discovered Ilmakiage. Their AI powered quiz makes it so easy to find a perfect match customized for your unique skin tone, undertone and coverage needs. With 600,000 5 star reviews and 50 shades of flawless natural coverage, this foundation is going viral for a reason. And with Try Before You Buy, you can try your full size at home for 14 days. Take the quiz at ilmakiage.com/quiz. That's I-L-M-A-K-I-A-G-E dot com slash quiz. Since 2013, Bombus has donated over 100 million socks, underwear and t-shirts to those facing homelessness. If we counted those on air, this ad would last over 1,157 days. But if we counted the time it takes to make a donation possible, it would take just a few clicks because every time you make a purchase, Bombus donates an item to someone who needs it. Go to bombus.com/acast and use code ACAST for 20% off your first purchase. That's bombus.com/acast, code ACAST. Sydney stops by Jane's apartment and she's like got to bug up her ass about Jane dating Jake. And she's like, "I wanted to stop." Do you think she's got like, dibs, that it's like, uncalled, her sister shouldn't be dating her ex-boyfriend? And Jane makes a great point. She's like, "You guys dated for literally 10 minutes." I mean, I will say Jane is opening up a world of trouble by doing this. So it's not exactly smart, even though I don't think it's really unethical. It's kind of borderline. It's rude. It's kind of rude what Jane's doing. I do understand where Sydney's coming from, and it would be a little weird. And I guess if I were Sydney, I would feel like, "Do you not respect me at all? This kind of sucks." But on the other hand, I do agree that you can't legally call Jake your ex-boyfriend or your boyfriend. Also, everyone in Malarro's place eventually fucks, so it's bound to happen. And I think Michael has fucked the most. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's been around. So Sydney's like, "I'm going to get back at you, Jane." She says, "Jake is literally the love of my life." And she's like, "And you know what, all's fair in love and war, and this will definitely be war." I think that if they were remotely close, Sydney can say, "Hey, technically I know. I probably don't have the right to ask this, but do you mind just not?" It's like, "I love him." Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Or even just tell her how you feel like, "Look, it really hurts me to see you guys together because I'm not over him." Yeah. And it's kind of weird, honestly. If I was really petty, I'd be like, "How is this any different from me fucking your ex-husband?" Right. And I would say, at this point, they're not really deeply in love or anything. No. They're just dating. So who gives a shit? Yeah. The next day in Santa Barbara, Michael and Amanda check into their room, Michael starts telling Amanda how his relationship with Kimberly is in the toilet, and it's been that way for a long time. He's like, "We're practically divorced. I don't even like her." This hotel looks like a piece of shit. I was like, "This is not a luxury Santa Barbara resort. I'm sorry. I've actually been to the most expensive one in Santa Barbara, and it's fucking nice. This looked like a fucking Marriott. It looked like a Marriott on an island. Also the decor was from the '80s. It was so '80s, especially the Jacuzzi, which we'll get to later. That was incredible. Just the fucking house plant, whatever, those palm-y looking plants. It was just so bad. It was out of control. I don't know. The hotel room seemed a little small, but it was filled with all these flowers. Right. That I'm guessing Michael put there? He did that. I just don't think Amanda would like staying here. Yeah. I think there's nicer hotels in Santa Barbara than the Canyon Ranch, whatever this is called. Michael's going off about how he hates his wife, and how he just needs an equal in his relationship. He's like, "We're just going through the motions." Then he kisses Amanda. She's like, "Michael, you said this trip was strictly professional, and she's been a little playful." Yeah, because they just fucked, and she thought she was being a good girl. I guess. Well, she thought she was being a good girl by telling him, "No funny business. You promise." Right. I mean, she does need to rest. You think getting dicked down by Michael was a rest? I don't know. I have no idea. Back at D&D, Allison is heading out to go have lunch with Brooke. She tells Billie, she's like, "Guess what?" Brooke talked me into nominating glorious gowns, and then Billie was like, "Okay." This is where you need someone to be like, "Resend that right now. Don't do that." She's just like, "Okay." This is just such an obvious blunder on Allison's part. It's crazy to me. How has he just given up after she told the Franklin Cruise Line that Amanda had cancer? Has he just given up on her? Because he's just like, "Okay." He's like once women to just run all over him, he doesn't give a shit. He's also still horny about that kung-pao kiss. Yeah. Do you think they fucked? Ooh. I mean, it would be—I mean, they already been there. It would make sense that they fucked because they were engaged, so why wouldn't they? Right. I mean, it's possible at some point, Allison was like, "No, we shouldn't." I can believe that from Allison. Anyway, she addresses their kiss or whatever happened last night, and she's like, "Billie, I just think, you know, it came from a place of familiarity. We were eating dinner, and then he stops her and plants a kiss on her." So he definitely is like, "Real man." Yeah. He wants to see where this goes, which is crazy too, because so much shit has gone down. I feel like if you wanted to go back, it should be a bigger discussion, maybe, because she's freshly out of rehab, like there's a lot of work pressure, do you know what I mean? Yeah. At lunch, Brooke is wearing an adorable, short-sleeved lavender and gora top, and she's talking about her old life and advertising, and she's like, "Yeah, my boss was this real bitch." It's her Amanda. Yeah. She's talking about how, you know, I don't think there's so many corporate girlies who don't like women. It's so advertising is so funny, because it's like such a popular TV career. Yeah. Like the glamor, like advertising, which is like something I've never even considered being involved in. And obviously there are lots of people in advertising, but for some reason it's always such a go-it's advertising or working at a magazine is like a TV movie career. It's like so the height of like drama and glamor, right, glorious gowns, glorious gowns. So she wants to get back into advertising, but doesn't know how. And Allison's like, "Would you want to be an intern at D&D?" She's like, "I'd love to be an intern at D&D." At the hospital, Matt runs into Kimberly. And she's like, "Oh, Matt, I heard you had a little situation recently that Obsess Psycho who took you hostage." And Matt says, "Speaking of desperate men, where's your husband?" When she said that, I was like, "Wait, what did I miss?" I was like, I guess that was considered a hostage situation even though it was like one minute. Right. And she's like, "Oh, Michael's working to shift at Santa Barbara City Hospital for extra cash." And Matt chuckles and he's like, "Michael's moonlighting at SB City." And she's like, "Yes, why?" And he's like, "Well, Wilshire Memorial used to have a program with residents going there and working there." And then he says, "Now don't flip your wig." But that program has been discontinued a long time ago. He ate. He is eating more and he's going to have this for leftovers because he's going to tell all his friends this is a story he's going to have for like a week to tell people. And he's like, "And that I said, don't flip your wig because you know what? She has a wig." She's a secret wig. And you know what? I think Matt is the only person who knows about the wig. He's the only one. He's the only one. Michael doesn't even know, I think. No, he doesn't know. He lives with her. That is crazy. No, Michael is the only one. I'm sorry. Matt is the only one and I just love Matt in this type of role. I love it too and I love the pairing of him with Kimberly because both of them really know how to take digs at people. And they're just plain evil with each other. This is the one time Matt is truly not trying to be good person, which is satisfying to see. It's so satisfying to see because ultimately it's harmless but it's a chance for him to sort of like express himself and be like let out this steam on a truly evil person. Right. She doesn't deserve any courtesy from him. Yeah, because she's like sucks. No, she sucks. And she's done harmful things to him. Right. And like honestly, this is the best treatment she could have wished for to be receiving from him. I don't have to say this was so intentional on Matt's part because at some point he had to realize Michael had lied to her and he still, I was like, I was kind of wondering at some point if he was going to hold back and I was like, oh shit, he just fucking blew the whole thing open. Yeah. Because he starts laughing when she's like, as a matter of fact, my husband is Santa Barbara at this working at the hospital and Matt's like, oh girl. He threw a bomb. He threw a Molotov cocktail into the situation. Yeah. Like he knew what he was doing. He really did eat that. So Allison is looking at Joe's photos because I guess she got hired at D&D again. And then Allison tells, oh my god, this was so crazy. I laughed just so hard. By the way, I just want to say finally Joe's starting to dress cute again. I've liked her better the past few episodes, even personality wise. Yes. I think. I think. She finally yeeted that baby. She still doesn't have a good storyline. No. But she's helpful. I'm hopeful for her. Her attitudes improved. Absolutely. Anyway, Allison out of fucking nowhere. Just gossiping is like, cause I think Joe says like, oh, where's Amanda? And then she's like, okay, girl, you're never going to believe this. But Amanda has cancer to the, she said something like, don't say anything. I was, and I was like, please don't be that Amanda has cancer. I thought like it could be, I fucked Billy, right. But I was like, don't do the cancer one. Please. Like I didn't want it to happen. I was like, Carl, that's crazy in the office with like lots of other people there running around. And like a theater whisper. Yeah. Amanda has cancer. It's just so loud. Combined with Joe's reaction, she's like, what is she okay? And then right is, right after a man, Allison says that she gets a phone call from what is so clearly Kimberly putting on a British accent, oh my God, this was wild. And she's like, and it's not even a good British accent. Like, it's like almost as bad as my British accent. She's like, hello, this is the oncologist, this is, this is the oncologist Dr. Mimely Shaw. I was like in just two, less than two minutes, Allison has completely betrayed Amanda like 10 times. She's done everything she could. She's bumbling. And the fact that she just immediately gave in to this British woman calling, like all of it told Joe, like what else has she done off camera? She probably told Brooke at lunch too. This is how I know that Amanda is a, I mean, Allison is a real alcoholic because when you take the alcohol away, you get even fucking crazier because you need some kind of rush because you're insane. Cool. You're an insane person. I think there is this thrill of revealing gossip. Like we've all experienced it when you have something to tell someone, it's such an exciting feeling. Right. This is kind of a sadder gossip, but she, I think she got a thrill telling Joe. Yeah. Like clearly, Allison, like, it needs to be doing more work on herself because she is just like dropping bombs everywhere. No. And then, so basically the oncologist is trying to find where Amanda is. Yeah. And it's Kimberly. And she's like, oh, do you know where Amanda is? And Allison's like, Billy, where's Amanda? And then Billy's like, she did the canoe ranch. She's like, should I tell? It's her oncologist. And it's like, I guess like it weren't supposed to tell where she was probably. Yeah. And look, Allison was smart or had any critical thinking. She would have said, I can take a message and I'll have her call you back. Yes. What's your number? That's the professional thing to do. You don't just give out where she's staying. Even if it is her doctor, or it's not like an emergency, unless it's an emergency situation, which this didn't seem to be. And if it was an emergency, then you'd be like, okay, let's call 911. Well, and you would, it's like, even that it's like, that takes two seconds because you have an emergency number. I'll call her, I'll have her call you right back, like you said, it takes two minutes. Or why doesn't the oncologist have Amanda's cell phone number? She carries that fucking thing everywhere. Yeah. You would think the oncologist would be one of the people who has that number. Allison, embarrassing all of us. No, she's bad. That night, Jake and Jane are eating dinner at her apartment. And he's like, wow, you made great Indian food. Do you believe it? No. I don't think I need to know more about this. This like left so many questions. I don't, I was wondering, I'm like, I need to know what specific dishes that Jane made. What was the spice level? I know exactly what she made. She made the Betty Crocker chicken curry, which is actually kind of good, but not authentic, really. I think that she made lentils, but not spicy. I think I literally think she made like lentils and a vaguely Indian season chicken breast. Maybe it did look on the table. I feel like it did look saucy. Ooh, I think I feel like I saw some spinach, but maybe it was like the spinach with like a little curry in it, but not a dish, really. Yeah. Um, he loves it though, and she's like, maybe I'll cook with cook for you more. I'd love to. And Jake's, Jake's happy. He's like, yeah, I'm happy to eat it. And they start going at it. And then the phone rings and the voicemail picks up and it's Sydney. And she's like, doesn't sound scared at all. She's like, Jane, I'm in trouble. My car broke down at the Palomino and Jake's like, oh shit. He doesn't mean it. He like pushes Jane aside. He does. Mid make out because he's like the Palomino that places bad news. He's like, cannot help but be the night in shining armor. This was crazy. Like he didn't even struggle like, uh, like, yeah, and he's like really concerned. So he picks up the phone and he's like, I'll be right there. And then Sydney gets off the phone and this is like a cowboy bar. I was like, where is this? Haven't we seen the Palomino at Melrose place before? I think there was another biker bar that we went to, but it was not the Palomino. This is like, where is the bar? I don't know. This bar is like, it's like, what's that sun valley or something? It's like up in that deserty area of the valley. There is no way that this bar is in the city of Los Angeles. No. It was like an adult parking lot. First of all, it was an adult parking lot, but even if there was a bar called the Palomino with that horseshoe neon sign out front, it would be like a really cool gay bar called the Palomino. Oh my god. Yes. No, this looked like it was in Palmdale. Yeah. Or something. This was not in the city at all. Now, so he drove really far. He drove really far and she's like sitting there like she loves this. She just, you know, she got him. Well, this is classic Sydney. Do something to look like you're in trouble, but then actually get into trouble because you are stupid. And she's wearing a denim button up shirt with some jeans, like she's dressed the part for this cowboy bar. Yes. And she's getting all the cowboys to buy her drinks. She's like, plan activated. I'm not thinking she was in any danger. No. Back in Santa Barbara, Michael and Amanda get into this indoor jacuzzi. That is so full of bacteria and disease. This jacuzzi looked like it was from beautiful Mount Terry Lodge. This is just something you know has probably never been cleaned. No. It is full of like old cum and like body fluids, like cheap champagne. Why did the jacuzzi bubbles look like soap? It had like that fiberglass, like it wasn't even tiled or something nice. It was like that cheap fiberglass, like pink fiberglass. I mean, I thought it looked cool because it looked kitschy with all those ridiculous huge plants everywhere. Yeah. Because it was like sunken in the hotel room, right? Like it was like in an adjoining room to their hotel room. In their room. I thought their room was really small at first and then all of a sudden they like walk into this jacuzzi. At first I thought it was a public jacuzzi. No. It was like two separate rooms, like the bedroom and the jacuzzi room. This is insane. Yeah. I needed to see more. I wanted to see the layout more. That carpet in that hotel room is going to be soaking wet. It was just such a mess. That being said, if I could guarantee it was very clean, I would definitely be in that hotel room. I think it was cool. No, the hotel room does look cool because it's like super kitschy. Yes. It's not luxury. It's not giving Santa Barbara luxury at all. So Michael's just like got his arm around Amanda and he's like, "You know, we're a lot alike. You see, he's, he's smitten." And he's like, "This is the first time I want to ever take care of someone." Not mine. Not either of my wives. I didn't love them. And he's, they start kissing and then they hear a noise and they look up and it's Kimberly and she has brought a floor lamp that's plugged in. And this was so, this, this floor lamp wasn't saying. And she's like, "I'll drop this in. I swear to God." Just I was like, "I wish you would because I need to, this floor lamp was like six feet tall." It was so big. Just to see that drop into the hot tub and just land on the bench and still not be like in, but more than a foot. Do you know what I mean? Right. Right. And, and Amanda's like, "God damn it. She's pissed and she runs out of the tub." And Michael's still in the jacuzzi like sitting back. He's not even like scrambling out. He's like, "Come on. I can explain." Yeah. She, he's screwed. And then he goes, "Okay. Maybe I can't explain now, but I can come up with something later." I mean, the beauty of Michael is how he works in real time, like he doesn't plan things. It's like, whatever comes out in the moment. Yeah. And Kimberly ends up throwing the lamp to the ground and it smashes everywhere. And he's like, "Okay, babe. Just go home, maybe." And when she throws it though, he's like, "Whoa." Yeah. Yeah. That's when he, that's when he gets out of the tub. Yeah. Oh my God. I was kind of like, "Just kill him. What are you doing, Kimberly? You're crazy. Yeah. Use that. Use that energy." She just can't though. She is in love with him. She's so down bad for him. Oh my God. And she's furious. She's like, "Seeing you together has made me sick to my stomach." And she leaves and he immediately just goes right back to Amanda, who's like furiously packing her shit. She's like, "Hey, babe, you want to have sex?" He turns on a dime because he's to, he'll say to Amanda, "My marriage is over. I want to be with you. We have barely even kissed in five months." And then Kimberly will walk around the corner after Amanda leaves and he'll be like, "Ugh, she's all over me. It's so embarrassing. I'm so sad for her. She's so desperate." Do you know what I mean? Just the way he goes back and forth between those two and lies through their faces. It's so crazy. But Amanda's mad and she's like, "I have no tolerance for liars." And she leaves and she goes back home. I don't know how she gets home. She's like, "I forgot you're a pathological liar." And it's like, "How?" He literally never stops. She does get snowed by him. At the Palomino, Sydney is getting drunk with the boys and suddenly we see that there's an MC at this bar and a stage with like that tinsel backdrop. And he's like, "All right, it's time for the Palomino's famous black bra contest." Okay. Is that a thing? No, does he? Okay. Because I thought it was going to be a wet t-shirt contest. It should have been. So they were just like, "Let's just do black bra." It's like, we're black bras scandalous. Honestly, growing up, I've always worn black bras. And they are scandalous to a certain woman over a certain age. Back then. Back then they were. I remember being like, "I can see the outline of your bra." And I was like, "I don't give a shit." Do you know what I mean? To be honest, my entire life I've been pro-exposed bra straps, but that's just because I was a 10-year-old when no doubt's tragic kingdom came out. And I was just like, "Yeah, exposed bra straps are cool." Right. I mean, I grew up on Madonna. It's the same thing. And that was lingerie. Yeah. Is exposed. You don't have to keep it hidden. Right. It's like, whatever. It is part of your outfit. It's part of your outfit. And I've always worn black bras. I don't like beige bras. I know they are for certain occasions, but I will wear a thin white t-shirt with a black bra underneath. I've only worn black bras pretty much, and I don't give a shit when I'm wearing on top. I don't care of a strap show. I didn't do it. I agree with you about Madonna, because that was the other woman who was like, "Yes, she shows her bra too." No, it was the outerwear. Do you know what I mean? It wasn't even lingerie. She would wear it out. But I think you're right, though. I do remember a long time ago that I think maybe older women were -- or there was some weird stigma about a black bra, like, "Oh, that's the sexy color bra." Because you're not supposed to see it. It's like the same woman who's obsessed with panty lines. Right. You don't have panty lines in your slacks. You know what? It's like, "I don't wear slacks." When do you think we as a society stopped caring about panty lines? Because that was a big deal when I was a kid. That was literally a woman's biggest fear. And shame. Was to have panty lines in her beige slacks, her beige work slacks. Yes, it works slacks. I think it's all boils down to not having anyone see that you might be a sexual being, whether it's bra or that that's her ass in there. You just want to have pants without any accentuation around the curve of the ass or something. I don't know. I mean, I do agree. You do. There are certain garments you wear that you want it to be, everything to be smooth. I agree. I just think it's not something I've never been concerned about like, "Oh, my panty line showing." I don't know. It's just... Unless it's like, I'm dressing formally, maybe. There are moments, but I think it's very similar to... There's like an ulterior motive similar to when older people or older men are like, "Pull your shorts up to guys. You're right." Do you know what I mean? It's like this control thing. Well, it's like no one wants to see your underwear. No, it's kind of like either racist or sexist. There's some other kind of underlying thing happening because it's like, "Mind your own fucking business, grandpa." Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I just have a totally different view on it and it just never occurred to me. My bra straps are always showing. I'm always wearing tank tops. My bra straps are always showing. I'm 100% fine with anyone doing what they want. Right. If they want to have no panty lines, fine. Don't wear underwear. No, just kidding me. But a lot of people don't wear underwear for that reason, and obviously when thongs were super big, I just do not like the way thongs feel. I'm one of those girls. Me too. I just have always... And for millions of people who wear thongs and like wearing thongs, they're very comfortable maybe or they don't mind it. For me, it's always been a sensory issue for me. I can't... I'm like, there's a string up my ass. I can't stop thinking about it. And believe me, I tried because I was like, this was the early 2000s where if you weren't wearing a thong, you were fucking dumb. No, I like boy shorts, no underwear, like I like very comfy underwear. I need like thin fabric, no like waistbands and like whatever. I like to just be like, whatever. Me too. I like a smooth, comfortable fabric. It can still be sexy if you want it to be sexy. But a thong, I tried several times in high school and I even tried the Casa Bella thongs, which were like the most popular thongs, they were like the most comfortable. I still couldn't make it work. No. And like also, then that was like when you had the exposed thong too, all the girls had the exposed thong and I was just like, I don't want any of this. No, I don't wear low-rise jeans anyhow, so not happening. It's not not happening. But yeah, I think, yeah, that is all very funny to me. So the black bra contest, I was like desperate to know if this was a real thing because it's so funny to me, the black bras was scandalous. I can only imagine it being of a certain time. So all the guys that Sydney's been drinking with, they want her to participate in the contest. They're like, come on, girl, yeah, take your shirt off. And she's like, no. And then they, these cowboys start grabbing her and ripping her shirt open and then they shove her on the stage. And that's where we hear the MC off screen say, get your hooters up there. No, and these women are on stage. They're happy as hell. Oh, they're so excited. They're like, woo! It's like a line of women and they're like, yeah, look at my bra. I kind of appreciated the casting here. I did, too. Because it was just like regular women. It wasn't like, accuracy or model-y types. No, it was like a bunch of regular women, older, like, older, younger, whatever, it was like a variety. And so, but Sydney doesn't want to do this, and it's a good thing that Jake has arrived just in time. And he literally flings Sydney over his shoulder, like a caveman, like a caveman. And he escorts her out of the Palomino. And as they're about to leave on his motorcycle, the cowboy she's been, like, drinking with all night follows the mountain he's pissed. Even puts his boot on Jake's bike, and that's like the last straw. No, Jake. The look Jake gives him when he touches the bike. It's scary. It's really scary. I was like, fuck. Yeah. And this cowboy is like, I spent 20 bucks on that bitch, and then he punches Jake. And Jake's like, all right, that's it. And Jake starts kicking his ass, and then they take off on the motorcycle. And Sydney's like, whoops. I didn't mean to go this far. The next morning, Amanda stops by Allison's apartment before work. And she's furious. And she's like, explain to me how Kimberly Shaw found out I was staying at the Royal Canyon. Allison's like, oh, Amanda, I thought I was helping. Oh my God. She's so dumb. And she's like, just tell me you didn't botch tonight's limo reservations for the Century Awards. I didn't botch that, but I did do something worse. That's the one thing she didn't botch. And she's like, Allison, I promise I'm never going to screw you over. You can count on me. Amanda. I'm sorry, Amanda. No, it's like, oh, famous last words. Dude. It's like, you know what you've done already, what are you talking about? She's going to be pissed just hearing your name now announced as a nominee. Like, I mean, the thing is, this is like, you have to submit your name to be nominated here. But Allison, it was like, she can't help it. They nominate the ads based on the ads. Right. No, this was something that you, as the ad exec, you submit for consideration. And I'm sure most companies are like, let's just go with this one, like one per category so we don't compete with each other. Yeah. Right. Um, at the beach house, Kimberly's curled up in a bathrobe in the bed. And Michael's like, babe, are you okay? Like, he had just got home from Santa Barbara because he spent the night there. She's like, my marriage is crumbling. He's just like, what, what's wrong? Um, and she's not talking and he's like, all right, look, Amanda's frightened. She's scared. She's going to die. And you know, she became a little fixated on me, classic case of transference. You look, I only did this because I thought if I rejected her, she'd die. Yeah. And she's Kimberly is coming out of her haze like, Oh, really? Like, this lie is real? Like he, how does she buy this? He's like, I'm going to put a stop to it. I'm going to break it off with her. First, I got to go to the century award with her. He's, by the way, this whole time he's getting dressed in a tuxedo. Right? Yeah, not yet. Okay. Isn't that's what makes it even more egregious is because he gives her this whole speech. And then later, okay, um, and she's crying and she's like, I just don't want you to leave me. Please like, she's not even mad anymore. She's just heartbroken and she's begging him. Please don't leave me. He's like, yeah, I love you, babe. I'm not going to leave. And even I kind of believe him in this moment like I can see. It was like sincere, it seemed, it sounded sincere because there's something with Michael where you're like, who is he lying to? Is he just trying to keep them both floating with him like to see what he wants to do? Right. Because it's like, I, I, you don't know quite what he's doing. At Melrose place, Jane goes to Jake's and she's like, Jake, what happened last night? You didn't come back to my apartment to finish the Indian food. And he's like, exactly what I expected happened last night. And then she's like, what happened to your face? Because he's like, got a black eye. I mean, this is something I didn't even think about. Like he totally up and left his date with Jane to go save Sydney. And then what must that look like? Because it's like your ex kind of or whatever they used to fuck. Yeah. And it must look to Jane like he still is into her. Right. And she's like, you defended her honor. And she's like, Jake, I don't participate in Sydney's little charades anymore. And she's like, I think you have unresolved feelings. And she's like, I don't think we should be dating unless you know for sure. And he's like, what the hell? He's like, that sounds like an ultimatum. And I was like, no, I don't think there is an ultimatum here. She's saying she can't date you. We haven't gotten this kind of Jake in a while. No, he got so I was like, dude, calm the fuck down, Jake. No one is trying to tame you. Like, do you really mean like, yeah, he's doing the thing, like he's, he's, it's giving. I don't take handouts. No, it was, I was like, where'd that come from? And then she's like, fine. And he's like, fine. And I was like, how did this escalate into a fight between these two? Peter Ellison stops by Amanda's as she's getting ready for the awards. I was surprised by Amanda's dress choice. Was this like a beige or a cream? It was, I mean, it was pretty, she looked pretty in it. It was, it had like a floaty, a more floaty skirt to it. It was like very romantic for Amanda. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's not typically what she puts on, but I guess she was trying to be like a award winner, or like more elegant or something. I just picture, I don't know, but I, I, we've seen her dress up for events before. Yeah. And it's usually like a, like a red dress that's like hugs your curves. Right. Or black. Yeah. I guess this is kind of a weird award show because it's not like super glamorous. No, because Allison's wearing like a fucking coat. Allison looks like an Olsen twin circa 2024, what she's wearing. She's telling Amanda, I mean, she's telling Allison that she's going solo to the awards. And right as she's telling her that she gets a phone call from Michael, and he's like, "A momma way to escort you." And he's got a tux on. And he's, he's like, "And I got a limo coming in 15 minutes." And she's like, "And by the way, I'm breaking up with Kimberly and moving out. And I'm not taking no for an answer." And like, he's like, "I'll be there in 15 minutes." And she's like, "Okay." And immediately after he hangs up, we realize Kimberly is like literally in the other room. Yeah. And she's like, "Where do you think you're going?" And he's like, "Look, babe, I got to escort Amanda to the century awards just so I can like do this one last thing and then it's over for real." I like to when he's kind of like, "Why would I fuck her? She's not looking that hot these days." Or something like that. Like this is what he says. Kimberly says, "Amanda couldn't get an escort to the awards show." And he says, "Well, have you seen her, babe?" She's not looking that hot these days, which she looks exactly the same too. Yeah. I mean, nothing is different. Sydney stops by Jake's with a bag of groceries that turns out to be steak and beer. It's a steak for his eye or his cheek or whatever and a steak to eat. This is like half of Sydney's paycheck, but she spent on two steaks and a six pack of beer. The scene is humiliating. She invites herself in and he's like, "Hey, thanks, that's great." And then he like kicks her out of his house. Thank you so much for dropping it off and she literally pushes her out the door. I have dinner for two and Jane runs into Sydney outside of Jake's and all we hear Jane saying that Jane say is, "Just be tasteful for once and don't say a word." And she's like, "Well, I just want you to know that I brought Jake dinner." And Jane is like disgusted with her. And Sydney's kind of acting like she's coming back to Jake's apartment, but she had to go up to her place for something. Right. Yeah, like, there's something where I feel like she's trying to not let Jane in on what happens. Of course not. Yeah. And Jane is like, "Well, I ended the relationship because it was the right thing for me." And then Sydney says, "Look, Jane, you may design clothes for sex appeal." You may design clothes with sex appeal, but you don't have any. It's so mean. They were at the Century Awards, and Chuck Woolery is a presenter for some reason. Is he like the MC maybe, like hosting it or something? I think he was just the presenting this award. Oh my God. Is this like the top? No, this is like the print ad award or something. Yeah. It's not even like the best of the year. Yeah, who they get, who the fuck did they get for the top award? I like, yeah, I like the Chuck Woolery wouldn't even have the big award. No. They gave that to Cato Kalen. It's 1995. So yeah, he's like presenting the award. All of a sudden Michael kisses Amanda and Billy's, this was a great moment because Billy looks at Alice and he goes, "When did that happen?" It's true. It's like, finally we're seeing some reactions to this relationship. Yeah. And Chuck Woolery reads the nominations for best print ads and Alice's name is read. It's like Alice in Parker, a D&D for glorious gowns and immediately Amanda whips around and is like, "What the fuck is wrong with you, Alice in?" It's shocking. It is really shocking. And Alice in just kind of like, shrugs. And then Alice wins the award. And by this point, Brooke is, is she sitting there now next to Billy? Brooke sits down next to Billy and kind of gets close to him and says, "I knew she would win all along." She has like her arm around the back of his chair, too. This is like her first time meeting Billy. That's why I was so shocked because she has her arm around him as if she knows him and is super close to him. What the way that he looks at her is kind of like, "Who are you?" No, it's wild. Alice and accepts her award and she's like, "Oh, I didn't expect this." And Amanda looks like she's going to vomit. And she's like, "Let's get out of here, Michael." And they get up and leave. And Alice is like, "I want to thank Billy and all the team, the graphics guys, and Amanda." She forgets to think Amanda. She throws it out at the end because she sees her walking out. So she's like, "And my boss, the best to ever do it." And it's just like, "You lose her." So Amanda and Michael are now in the hallway outside the ceremony and she is losing it. She's going to collapse. I mean, this is horrible because she is truly sick, right? She is struggling at work, period. She really needed this boost just for her ego and whatever, just something great to happen to her and she has never won this award before. This was going to be her year. I just feel like this was so fucked up. Amanda hasn't even been doing anything evil to Alice in late least, but not even justified in that regard. She hasn't made someone kill themselves in a year. She's on the upswing. It's just crazy that Alice in would do this at this moment. It's uncalled for and think that and think it was okay even if she knew with 100% certainty she wouldn't win. Just the fact that she's shoehorned her way onto the ballot with Amanda is crazy. If you didn't want to win, why would you do it? Do you know what I mean? Why would you even do it? It's not a true honor because you have to, you apply for it. It's not like the nominee is worth anything necessarily. Right. Oh, sorry. I just can't believe it's like, no, don't do it, period. Don't risk even the 1% chance you win. She needs to call her sponsor because these are all decisions made that she's like acting out. Yeah. I mean, it's like inexcusable. I cannot forgive her for this. She's going to have to make so many amends for all of her behaviors and sleeping rehab. Also it's pretty easy to be the victim in an Amanda situation because Amanda is so awful. Why make people side with Amanda when it's so easy to not have that happen? It's crazy. So that's when Michael tells Amanda he loves her and he says, not only does he love her but he loves her more than he ever loved Kimberly or Jane. I love that he threw Jane in. I know. Leave her alone. Like in Jane, you know Jane was the one I really loved. Right. Even more than Kimberly. Kimberly's like my second wife. Right. Kimberly's my second wife who I just like to fuck more than Jane. Yeah. Jane was like the one. Right. She was like my true love. But now you've taken over both of them. I mean I can't remember exactly how this plays out but is it both of them just wrapped up in this doctor patient thing? I honestly don't remember what happens in this relationship. I don't all I because the thing that really stands out in this episode is like what goes down with Brooke. I mean not episode this the rest of the season. Right. Right. Right. I do feel like this storyline my memory is that it kind of just peters out eventually. What's going to happen with Amanda and Michael? We don't know. There's Brooke. There's Brooke is going to be huge. She's going to be huge. This was not my first introduction to Kristen Davis because I watched Melrose Place for the first time after Sex and the City. Oh. So this was my first introduction to her. So I saw it first time. I watched Sex and the City in real time like when I was like 11 until it ended when I was in high school and that was all I knew of Kristen Davis was like perfect little prim and proper Charlotte. Right. No, I remember watching Sex and the City and be like oh shit it's Brooke because I hadn't seen her in anything other than Melrose Place. She's, it's such a, so you saw it from the weird, a weird way and I saw it from a weird way too because they're opposite characters. They're totally opposite characters and I just think she's such a great actress. Like she really pulls off both roles fucking flawlessly. Well because Brooke does have that innocent charm about her beside so, but yeah completely crazy. Yeah. And yeah I'm excited. I'm excited too. We will see you all next week. Bye. 1-800-FLOWERS.COM is more than your birthday, anniversary or just because gift giving destination. We put our hearts into everything we do to help you celebrate all life's special occasions with friends and family. From our farmers and bakers, florists and makers, everything from 1-800-FLOWERS is made with love every step of the way because we know that nothing is more important than delivering a smile. To learn more visit 1-800-FLOWERS.COM/ACAST. That's 1-800-FLOWERS.COM/ACAST.
Billy and Alison kiss, Amanda and Michael go to Santa Barbara, Jane gets Jake to wear a tux, Matt trades barbs with Kimberly, Jo is dressing cute again, and Sydney hangs out with cowboys.
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