On this episode, Chris & Koi call up some friends to find out what cheating is worse, physical or emotional cheating.
Men Don't Know podcast
Physical OR Emotional CHEATING!
Cheers. So, how many pictures are on Yelp? Full of all these pictures, they're like, "Oh, that's the dessert you're eating?" Alright, so, that's the candle. Okay, that's the same candle. I know what that is. It's 45 minutes to an hour. 45 minutes? Wait, can you run that long? No offense. That's like I'm married. That's the first day, bro. Yeah, that was what you did? Yes. My birthday. I think a guy is more comfortable being alone than a girl, but I'm about to hold on to this episode. I think... Welcome to middle note podcast. I'm the man of many friends, your host and creator Chris Spoon, and here on the podcast we talk with a bunch of guys. We ask a bunch of one of the questions I want to talk to us. Whether you're listening to it on Google Play, our radio spotify up a podcast found cloudpad door, you downloaded that Mendo no podcast app I can't thank you all enough. I'm sure as open as always, make me up on Instagram at Mendo no, Twitter at Mendo no one, chuminimo, Chris at Mendo no dot com, or hop on the Mendo no dot com website and shoot me a message, coy, a guy, how we living, man, question of the day, we've been talking about this for a minute, might as well have it, have the question, what is worse, emotional cheating or physical cheating? My opinion is emotional based on my man. Right here bring the mic up close to you. Physical stuff, it happens, I'm not saying it's okay, I'm not advocating for it, but it happens and you see relationships can recover from it because maybe it was a drunken thing, maybe it was a stupid thing, but emotional is like they have a connection, mind connection with somebody else that you will never have with your own and that's right, exactly and they're going to that well for something that you can never satisfy. And if you try to satisfy that moment, it's just because you found out about it and you're doing it, you know, that's me, I mean, I hear you, I hear you, it's, I mean, all in all is bad, we're all, no cheating, no correct, no, of course, but I'm saying I think one is recoverable and one is not, yeah, long as you don't make anybody look stupid, I feel like that emotional cheating make you look stupid. Because you don't, okay, here's another thing, cheating physically could be a one night stand, you'll never see that guy again, think your girl will never see that guy again, but emotional, you know that person, that person's in their life and unless you tell them to cut it out, then they're always going to be there and you'll always have that thought in your mind, they didn't cut it out. All right, let's go to a guy first, see what Jay's up to. Jay, what's going on, man, Jay, how are we living? Good, how are you? Good man, I'm here with Qui Qui Qui, so what's up Jay, what's going on, man? What's up? Hey man, quick question for you, what is worse emotional cheating or physical cheating? Yeah, I mean, I feel like, I feel like it'd be physical, ego, crush that ego. Oh, physical crush the ego, okay, I like that, do you think most men would choose physical over emotional? I think most men would, yeah, why? I think because it's like, I think it's like the ego, someone got to your girl. You know what I mean? Yeah, no. So I mean, she talking back and stuff, I get it up, that's bad too, but someone they got in there, they got in there, they got that Charles Xavier. Yeah. And she didn't have her helmet on, she didn't have the back needle. Damn, I think about that, yeah, yeah, someone defloured your queen. Oh, we're talking from a guy's perspective though, what do you think we've always talked about in the past show that girls, I would say girls cheat, emotional? Yeah, emotional too. Yeah, I mean, I definitely, the emotional's up to the dead because like, if that's like they got in there and they switched her up on you and it says, for just that physical, the guy's point I think is bad, but I feel like, yeah, emotional for women's probably worse than, I mean, I feel like, no, guys can just get in and out like a bank robbery and not be quite like that. I mean, next thing with them and taking them out, yeah, yeah, I know you at work, bro. So I appreciate you picking up, man, I'll let you when you get off. Thank you, sir. Yeah, sir. Don't. Yeah. I mean, what if like, okay. So like, I have this girl that's a friend, but we talk sports sometimes because her man doesn't want sports. Okay. Is that an issue you mostly cheat? No, I mean, it just depends on what lines are crossed and lines are crossed. Yeah. I mean, I mean, now it's also mentioned, yeah, it's not a flirting, it's strictly sports and no. It's like, yeah, like I said, you know, there's a line that has to be crossed. Yeah. And you'll know, you'll know when the line is crossed. So if he gets mad, hey, buddy, down low to ESPN, you're about to start. You should've known, you should've known, um, let's go early. What if you got a girl and she she watches real housewives and another straight guy had her work watches and they talk about that when you know, you don't watch that. I mean, look, talk at work. Yeah. Talk at work. I mean, the only time we have together is when we have our time together, wouldn't you want to make sure our time is sacred? Because you would want, you would want the same amount of tension for me. You'd want the same amount of tension for me as I would want from you. Okay. So give me a respect. How does that differ from you talking to your boys about fantasy football, isn't that your time with it too? I mean, but yeah, there's a time and a place for everything, but you're adding a girl into the mix, you're having, you're adding the opposite sex in any mix. Okay. I just want to say it. Change is the color of the water. I'm not trying to fuck my fantasy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you don't know if Jeff from accounting at work is just playing the game. Yeah. He's playing a long game. Yeah. To learn that show. Yeah. You know, he does. Yeah. He over here called me up and we all see something about Mary 100 percent, 100 percent. Yeah. Nobody shut off. But, um, no, we, we've all done it. We've all seen it. We've all talked about it. We've all put ourselves in those type of situations. I'll figure it out in a second. Um, but let's go into a another caller. Let me see if she's ready. Uh, I think we'll call Ash on this one. Yeah. Let's call her up right now early, but let's call her. Hello, hello, ash, how are we living? We're living great. How are you guys doing? Amazing. What's up? I'm here with koi koi. Say what's up. Dash boy. How are you doing? I'm great. Hey, I mixed it up this time. I mixed it up this time. I mixed it up this time, I mixed it up this time, you're just salty. Salty. Call me. Salty. Call me. Whatever you want. Salty out of your out of sodium, whatever. Anyways. All right. Question of the day. I figured I asked you what is worse, emotional cheating or physical cheating? We can't say both of those, but no, I know one is worse. What would you choose? I think emotional, I mean, I haven't had it both, but I think the emotional part hurt me more because because a lot of it, I mean, from physical cheating, I feel like you could have emotional connection, whatever, but I feel like a lot of times it could just be like a less thing or just like you want just, you know, do whatever, even though it could be meaningless feeling to them, it still fucking shitty, but I feel like when people build an emotional bond connection, it goes deeper and also kind of makes it feel like, well, why don't we have, like, why not giving you that you're seeking this out? And then I, like, and I feel like that will obviously lead to physical cheating and it will be more like connectivity because you have that emotional deeper bond. I feel like that's what, like, I think that for me, I think that would fuck me up more. I mean, I've been a fan of this later on, but the emotional part fucked me up. What if it's, what if it's a hobby that he's into, but you're not into, but he can connect with her with her with and talk about, like, are you feeling some type of way about that? I mean, yeah, I could like, I've even heard me, like, I don't care what your hobby is. Like, I'm, I'm gonna take an interest because I love you and I care about you. That's the kind of way I am, like, with next activities, I didn't care for none of that shit before, wouldn't even go sit and do it, try it, and now, like, I actually genuinely love the sexy thing, even though I may suck, but, like, if it's important to you, it's important to me. But that's the kind of girl I am in a relationship, so I think that's why it hurts me more. It's like, okay, so I'm giving you all of that, so why do you feel like you can't build on that and you, like, you find this other person that, you know, I thought, like, yeah, that's what I think it is. But like, yeah, you can talk to girls about your hobbies or whatever, but doesn't mean you start talking about deep things and building on that connection and then, you know, like, then it builds, I can build, so, like, obviously, much more. Yeah, I mean, now let me ask you this, is it true once a guy has your mind, he can have your body? Once he has him, yeah, I mean, yeah, I would say, because I need to be able to connect with you on that one, like, yeah, you could be funny and make me laugh, but, like, that's cool. So, yeah, I was going to do that, yeah, but then he connects with you spiritually and emotionally. Yeah, I get it, that's what, that hit harder because it, you feel that and I feel like in them, you know, the whole getting my body, it's freaking crazy. You don't have to worry about her, we're just learning sage, it's not, like, oh, yeah. But I think from people need to get a good cleansing, like, well, I don't know, it was crazy. What do you guys think? I want to know your opinion. I said emotional, for sure, yeah, I'm with, I'm with emotional, because I think, I said before, physical could be a one night stand cheat thing, you never even show, she'll never even see him again, but emotional means that guy tapped into something that you never did or never, maybe I'm not able to do forever, and you have to live with that. Exactly. Professor X. I go out to go in my butt. Well, if you do that, then I'm coming for your mind, I'm going to give you a lobotomy. Oh, man, I think, I mean, I think, like we said, a lot of women are on the, the, the emotional side, and a lot of men are on the physical side, even though me and Coi said emotional. I don't mean that you don't have the physical side either. No, I know, I know, I know, but, but no, I definitely want to let a guy play on your girl. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You touch your mind. Yeah. And then you get the value of his girl. But then you get that guy's like, oh, oh, you know, yoga and then, and spiritual stones and something. Hold on. He's bringing up the crystal. Yeah, exactly. Easy. Easy. That's what I'm talking about, Mary. Yeah. Exactly. He's playing the part. Do it everything with the crutches. Goddamn. That guy. No shame. Oh, no. I need to watch that again. A hundred percent. All right, Ash. We're going to let you go. I appreciate you. All right. I'll talk to you later. Bye. Oh gosh. I even didn't encourage this little fucking one. Later. Later. All right. Bye, guys. I mean, it's a lot. I just feel, you know, in some senses, men would think, oh my God, I don't want anybody deflowing my throne or Santa. Oh, me. She's not a virgin, buddy. I already ran through that before you, but he like chill, chill. That emotional part though, he makes me feel like I've never felt before. Yeah. Ooh. That's better. I'm going to see myself out. Yeah. Can't do it. I hear her say some shit like that day. That will fuck up your soul. No recovery. That will fuck up your soul, bro. I don't put you. That will honestly hearing another woman talk about another man and it's about you and you can sit and you are looking at her eyes and how she's talking about him. That shit may fuck you up. Exactly. And you trying to be macho bravado over here acting like that shit don't matter, even though you dying inside, dying inside. You want to light the whole house on fire. You want to be over here dying inside. Like he said, hey, doc, I'll just see my, I'll see myself out. I don't even need to be around this. What do you say? Thousands of you's is only one of me. You got a thing like that on both sides of the coin, whether you're a man or a woman, you got to think like that. If you're, you know, like I said, let them leave 80 to go get 20. Because in the end, it may look like a hundred. No, that shit looked funny in the light. What that, that, that, that Chris Tucker, that, that Chris Tucker in Jackie Chan, that rush hour or two, when they lift that bill on fire, oh, that's fake. Oh, that's fake. All right. Let's call another girl real quick. Oh, who we call, let's call Miss Kay. Let's see if she's three. Probably got our phones. Your call has been forwarded. Let's give her a second. Let me ask you this. And then we, look, I mean, we, we did ask a lot of, we, we, when we went, went to the bar, we asked this. And even a lot of the guy, bartender was like that, that como, you know, he sees, he sees, he sees, I brought you lunch. Don't, don't worry about lunch. I brought one for you. How much of that is on the person to not allow that though? Yeah. I'm talking about nipping in the butt stuff. Yeah. It's like, if you catch a girl cheating, why are you mad at the guy for? Like, I understand you want to put your hands on them at the same time. It's like, get to the root of it. It's her. It's her. And it's him. And what's it going to, what's it going to matter if you fuck up that guy or not? She still did what she did and she's, yeah, none. Yeah. Like honestly, and that's why I say, ah, even if he knew it was me. Even if he knew we were together, the fact that you let him in, that was your, that was your fault. It don't matter. I mean, every, every guy, you know, like, like my boy said, look, like, why would you go after a single girl? It's like 30, 30 versus 30. You know, it's one versus 30, right? No one. You want to. Yeah. You go after a girl in relationship. It's one on one. You don't have to play that zone. Yeah. No, you don't play zone. You know, you check your full court press. You man up. You get them when the ball going. 94 feet baseline. I'm baseline. That's it. That's it. Hand and face. Sea ball. Sea man. Let's try someone else real quick while we wait for that, uh, see what Jules up to. Hello, Hey, what are you up to? You're in. What are you guys doing? I'm here with Coi. Coi. Say what's up. What's up? What's that? Coi. Hold on. One. Say. All right. So, damn cool. Are you going to answer? Are you going to answer? I'm not going to answer. Hold on. He has a million beeps going on. I cleared it. I cleared it. I cleared it. I cleared it. Relax. What's going on? Now that I can hear you. Oh my gosh. No, no, no, no. Hang on and do it again. No, I'm just kidding. Go ahead. What's going on guys? Not much. Okay. Check it out Jules. The question of the day is what is worse? Emotional cheating or physical cheating? Emotional, 100 percent. Why emotional? Well, how much time do we have? Emotional cheating I feel like to me is worse because it says it in the name. There's emotion behind it. I feel like, you know, sex is sex. Sex can be sex. I think that when you physically cheat. I think that people who have a fuck up, a one-night stand, I made a mistake, I did this, whatever. I feel like not to say that that's okay by any fucking name, just to preface that because it's not. It's all trash. But I think that that can sometimes be worked through and forgiven a lot easier than somebody who's emotionally cheating. I think that if I find out that my dude had a fuck up on a guy's night and maybe we could probably work through that, I find out you've been emotionally trying to connect with some bitch like for weeks, months, whatever, no, I can't. I mean, it's not bad. It's just, you know, Sarah from Accounting is just going to bring me lunch tomorrow so don't worry about it. Yeah, but she, but I also feel like that's too loose of a statement. I mean, okay, so what, like your homegirl from Accounting is going to bring you breakfast, like, okay, who cares? Good morning. But you're sitting there talking to homegirl from Accounting every day, every weekend. What are you doing? How's work going? You know, I'll swing by and see you later. You know, whatever. The cases, that's emotional cheating. You could never touch homegirl from Accounting, but the fact that you're being mentally stimulated by this woman while you are sitting there acting like you're trying to get to know her. Like what are you going to date her? Like as if you don't have a whole last light and a whole last family over here? That's not okay. And I feel like to me, like as a woman, and I think even for men too, if it was the tables were turned, that's a lot harder until the swallow than I fucked up. And I made a mistake because this mistake quote unquote that you were making, it's been going on for a while. So at what point did you feel bad about it? Because you didn't. Right? Let me ask you this, damn, let's let's let's let's up the Annie a little bit more. Could somebody emotionally be cheating on their partner with somebody from another state? Like they haven't even go ahead. I think so. Yeah, absolutely. I think that a lot of people, I think that that's the biggest issue with people who emotionally cheat. I think that, you know, people get caught up in this like, I don't know, fantasy, I guess if you will, of, you know, I mean, I guess that also takes it to a deeper dive of like what's wrong with you. Right? I mean, what are you searching for? What are you needing that's fulfilling you in that way? Because it's not real, none of it is real, but it's like for some reason you're addicted to it. You keep going back to it. You can't quit it when it's like you have a whole relationship and a whole life with somebody else, but you continue to choose to have this fantasy relationship quote unquote, you know, with somebody who essentially is untouchable or doesn't exist realistically. So what is that, you know, like that's what I don't understand. Now I also feel like people that are emotionally cheating is usually because you're, you're unhappy. You're not being fulfilled. You're not this. You're not that. You've been incapable in their mind to walk away from a relationship because some people do believe that. They do believe they can't walk away from a relationship for whatever reason, which hey, that's fair. That's your prerogative. That's your life. But, you know, at the end of the day everybody can walk away from something, but some people choose not to and they choose to do that and, you know, for that I don't really, I don't understand that one because I'm quick to be like, you can miss me with that goodbye. But I don't know. I think that the emotional cheating cuts way harder than, hey, you know, I made a mistake. I fucked up, you know, whatever. And even then that's still not an okay thing to do or an okay answer for anybody in a relationship. But the truth is, is it's like I think that people are more likely to work through something like that and be able to heal from that. As opposed to when you have an emotional cheat, it's like, you know, how could I ever trust you again? And how am I ever going to feel like I'm enough for you again? You know, I mean, that's just how I look at it. I would much rather my dude be like, oh, yeah, you know, obviously if I caught them because who's going to just out themselves, if you do, hey, good for you out there, I applaud you for being a stand-up person, but most people don't usually get caught and then everything comes out. But, you know, I don't know. I think the, I made a mistake with someone who I'm, who's never going to be seen or heard from again as opposed to somebody who you're keeping in contact with every single day. Asking about their day, texting when you get home or whatever the contact is, right? I mean, who knows, right? Text me when you get home, text me when you get home, how's your day? What's going on? Like, that's emotional cheating. Why do you care how their day is? You know? You don't need that. No, it's horrible. It's horrible. I think it's the most, it's so gutting, I think, personally, in the broad spectrum of a cheat, because, like I said at the beginning of the call, I think that sex is sex. I mean, should it even go to, you know, I think that kissing is more intimate than banging someone, you know? I mean, I think that, you know, there's levels to all of it, but I think being emotionally stimulated by somebody else who is not your partner, that's fucked up. And I think that that's really hard to come back from. It is, you can't recover from that. I don't think so. I mean, and if you do, hey, good for you, and maybe we can have them on to share with everybody. But, you know, I mean, I think that's really hard to come back from, it's all hard to come back from, right? I mean, nobody knows. But that emotional one, I would never know if I have that, yeah, no, I can't do that. Yeah. Emotional one. You know, how do you- Yeah, I mean, how do you- Yeah, 100%. You have it, you're living not every day, you know? I mean, and not to say that maybe people don't for, you know, let's say you have a one night stand, right? You go out guys' night, girls' night, I'm going to speak for both sides, right? Both people, women and men and women can be guilty of it right equally. Yeah, I'm sorry. You know, and it's like you have that one thing and then, you know, the next day you might wake up and go, ah, ah, like, I fucked up, like, that was not good, but like, ah, yes, and he, he ha ha's with your friends who maybe were there and knew about it. And it's like, you all kind of collectively over brunch go, so we're never talking about this again and we're moving on with our lives. With this, any kind of an emotional cheat, it's like, that's like something that's like, it's a marathon. And you're continuing to be in this race of doing that, whereas like, so when does it kick in of like, I shouldn't be doing this, you know, um, when does it kick in of like, I don't know, I have regret or remorse or whatever. Nice. Too comfortable letting it slide. Yep. And then it turns to ice skate, then it turns to, you're going to hate me. You still hate me. I'm not going to hate you, just through with you. Yeah, but it's like, but what is it like? I don't know, it just, I, to me, it's like, that's like more sneaky and more shady than, you know, you, I don't know, you made out with some girl at the bar or you, you know, whatever, like, I agree. You're right. All right, Jules, I got to let you go. I mean, I appreciate you to the moon and back and I mean, we could, we could talk about this for hours obviously. But I jump in a bit, all right. Thank you. Yeah. All right. Later. Are you guys have a good night? You too. Later. See, it's, it's unrecoverable. Yeah. If you're significant. Other. Cheats. Emotionally. Yeah. I'm sorry. Back at it. Hello. Miss Kay. How are you? Feeling good? How are you? Doing amazing. I'm here with Coi Coi, it was something, Miss Kay. Okay. What's going on? Hello. Hello. All right. Question of the day. You see how she answered you, Coi? She said hello. Hello. It's simple. Hello. Hello. It's simple. I know. I appreciate that. Anyways. What is worse? Emotional cheating or physical cheating? I'm doing the cheating. Where your girl? What? Huh? Your man. Who's doing the cheating? Your man is doing the cheating. Your man is doing the cheating. Which one would you not prefer? Emotional. See? Do you mean it? Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Huh? You are investing in that person. Men can sex. A lot of times with men. Sex can just be sex. And so you get drunk. You are doesn't make them any more of a fucking idiot, but they're a fucking idiot and they do that. Yeah. They are emotionally investing and putting their time and energy and all of that into somebody else. That is way more painful. In my opinion. Yeah. Hell yeah. And I feel like guys are the opposite. Because you guys are much more visual people. And so I feel like. I don't want. I don't want. I don't want. No. Boobies. But nope. Nope. I'm with you on emotional cheating. No. Yeah. I feel like that. I do not need no guy playing Professor X to my girl. Yeah. No. No. Cause I just feel like that's such a deeper level. Yeah. Yeah. Deeper way deeper. That's like, and that's like, and it's like you're getting somebody access to you. The only I should have access to. Yeah. No. Yeah. With their head. Yeah. No, I mean, it's just that emotional that emotional side is just. I, you know, you let it's kind of like you let somebody poison the well. You can never drink from it again. A thousand percent. Because you'll never know if the well is poisoned. Yeah. A thousand. Yeah. Do you as a guy? Chris, if if your girl cheated on you physically or emotionally, you're out either way, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But does the emotional one sting more because now she played you for a full like. Uh, I'll say this. I'll say this. And I've said this to an ex before or plenty of them, but I said, look, if you are not happy. And you feel like someone else is going to make you happy. Come and tell me first. Like it's not fucking hard. It's not. And because of the fact that we could be on a situation where, you know, if you tell me, it's like, Hey, look, it's not working out. We've tried it. It's just best before one of us does something we don't want to do. Let's just leave the relationship as adults. Just in case either one of us needs each other, we can call on that person. And no, I don't want to do all that. Well, I'm just saying, like, I think sometimes, like if you ran a course of a relate, look. Yeah, let it go. Holy ran a course. I feel like there's certain opportunities where they didn't run their course. We're like, okay, like this is just not our time. Yeah. But I feel like there's other times where you're fully in a relationship and it's run its course. And you both are just. Done or one person is just like, this is just not. It for me. Yeah. Have that conversation. Like we're fucking adults, like we're not in high school. Yeah. Like use your words. We all know everybody can. We all have big girl boys job. Like, come on. Gracefully about that. I tell people all the time, like, if it's not working, like I'm cool. Like just be upfront on us. That way we not wasting each other's time. Yeah. And not only that, like you screw somebody over that way and break their trust that way. You are setting that person up. You have so many more relationship issues just because you're, like, a coward and selfish and you just can't own up. If you know it or male, you can't own up to being like having a hard conversation. Yep. Like it's, I think cheating is stupid to begin with. Yeah. But it's like, we're all adults and it's like, it's not that hard. It's not, we're going to say I'm not happy. I thought about this and you, I don't want to hurt you anymore than I know this conversation's going to hurt you. But I'm, I'm out. 100%. I would have so much more respect for somebody. Just doing that. Then to find out they were lying, scheming, planning, all of that. Yeah. Not 100%. 100%. All right, Miss Kay. We appreciate you as always. I'm going to let you go. I'm actually going to put something to mail for you tomorrow. So you'll be getting it shortly. I appreciate you to the moon. As always though. Thank you. Of course. Have a good one guys. Later. Bye. So it is the emotions. It's gotta be the emotion. It's gotta be. Gotta be. Gotta be. Gotta be. All right, man. Let's get out of here. First phone. Someone take everybody for listening. Whether you're listening to it on Google Play, I heard radio Spotify, Apple podcast, SoundCloud, Pandora. Or you downloaded them. Don't know podcast app. I can't thank y'all now. First, open as always. Hit me up on Instagram at MandoNo, Twitter at MandoNoOne. Shoot me an email. Chris at MandoNo.com or hop on the MandoNo.com website and shoot me a message. Call my guy. We are out. How many pictures are on Yelp? Pull up all these pictures. They're like, "Oh, that's the dessert you're eating?" All right. So that's the candle. Okay. That's the same. Careful. I know what that is. 45 minutes to an hour. 45 minutes? Can you run that long? No offense. I think a guy is more comfortable being alone than a girl, but I mean that's the only thing. [Applause]