DumTeeDum - A show about BBC Radio's 'The Archers'

Dum Tee Dum Episode 81 – Two calls Ducks, Geese and Greece

A multi-national Dum Tee Dum opened the show which this week was sponsored by Water Aid. Speakpipe might be playing up – so calls were limited this week.

As a result Roifield was desperately filling – linking tv zombies to botulism and salmonella in chicken where with some surprise he could reveal that the incidence of salmonella in US chickens is decreasing. Sounded like a ramble in the countryside for me.

K J England blames Rob for hiding Scruff in the silage – but this is pretty unlikely as the silage was made after the flood. So Rob is probably innocent on this count and was exonerated by both Lucy and Roifield.

Much of the episode descended into discussion of preparing future episodes whilst unclothed – something for which Roifield declared he was all up for it. Nakedness was also key to the tweet of the week.

Johns the tenth and eleventh were appointed. And in recognition of JoJo Sexy Heels there will be no more shop news until after Christmas.

Kosmo

On this week’s episode we have calls from:

K J England who thinks Rob stashed Scruff

and Witherspoon who wonders whether Adam realises that gullible isn’t in the dictionary.

The post Dum Tee Dum Episode 81 – Two calls Ducks, Geese and Greece appeared first on DumTeeDum.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Duration:: 1h 6m
Broadcast on:: 26 Oct 2015
Audio Format:: other

Ryan Reynolds here for, I guess, my hundredth mint commercial. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Honestly, when I started this, I thought only I'd have to do like four of these. I mean, it's unlimited premium wireless for $15 a month. How are there still people paying two or three times that much? I'm sorry, I shouldn't be victim blaming here. Give it a try at midmobile.com/switch, whatever you're ready. $45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes of CDTails. It's a cold day here in Alaska, but there's one animal seemingly unaffected. Bright-eyed and determined enters the husky. Observe as they go up the mountain guided by pure instinct. They are truly amazing masters of this wilderness. But even these amazing pets can't sign up for lemonade pet insurance. You can sign up now at lemonade.com/amazing. This podcast is a Royfield Brown production. Find others on iTunes. At Bridge Farm Cafe, we always use Sarah Smith Cloth's. When I was at Brookfield, I only had those nasty blue and white ones. But these are vintage, like our furniture. Balance sets, I have to call our cakes vintage, not style. Sarah Smith for the posture washer. OK, this is our third go. Three different countries, Australia, US, UK. Dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum. Nice job. Thanks, Stuart and Liz. OK, beautiful now we can go for breakfast. This program is brought to you by a kind donation by Peter Stirk, who'd like to promote the good works of water aid. Since retiring, Peter's joined their speaker network, giving talks in schools and community groups such as the WY about the charity. He's passionate about its aim to provide clean, safe drinking water and sanitation to all the world by 2030. It's incredible that in the 21st century, 650 million people do not have access to clean water. That's one in ten of the world's population, and that 2.3 billion, one in three, do not have access to adequate sanitation. Over 1,400 children die each day from diarrhea caused by unsafe water and poor sanitation. Water aid works with local partners in some of the poorest parts of the world to provide the necessary services. You can find out how you can help by going to wateraid.org.uk. Hello. You might recognise my voice as the long departed and rather misnatural in the arches. Well, I, Graeme Seed, will be joining Royal Little Lucy and hopefully you. For dinner and drinks at the Portland Pub, 51 Upper Bartley Street, Malibu, London, W1H, 7QW, from 8pm on Saturday, November the 14th. The dinner is priced at an excellent 35 pounds for three courses, plus a two pound booking fee. So, if you would like to meet other archer fans and me, head over to dumpedydown.com and book you place now. Oh, I'll be the one in the gorilla suit. This is Doney on the show about the reality doggy drama that is sent on an average in the heart of the Midlands. I'm the butcher-linem toxin that is Royfield Brown, and with me are the future fine dog pelvis, that is... Lucy Freeman. And the last part of our Barrow Farm epidemic is you. Lucy. Yes. Guess what? It's filling up. Yay! The annual dinner, the Doney Doney Doney with special guest Graeme Seed, aka Nigel. It's filling up. We only have a limited amount of tickets, folks. So, you need to book prom type. Now, dinner is a 35 quid on the two pound booking fee. And to book all place, you have to pre-order. So, none of this just turning up on the night and then asking for a plate of scran. No, no, no. You need to pre-order and you can do that by going online to dumptydum.com. Now, today's dumptydum is from Middie Bell and Friends, over there in the good old US survey. Now, Lucy. If other folk would like to pitch in and give us a dumptydum, can you remind our listeners how they can do that? Yes. If you would like to sing us a dumptydum, give us a plot prediction or pick-bits of a dead dog out of a silage clamp. Ring us on 02030310105 or leave us a message on Speakpipe. Thanks to lovely sandwiches for her amazing voices. To Cosmo for his podcast round-ups and to Sarah Smith for sponsoring us. Thank you also as ever to Derek for the loan in the back bedroom. Derek's invitation to Fallon's house when we got lost, apparently. But he turned up anyway and bought his signature dish, which is soggy, what's his? Oh, sorry. That was probably very funny, but I was absolutely miles away. I'm so sorry, Lucy. Can you just tell me the gist of that joke? Because I was legitimately elsewhere. No, I'm not going to tell you the gist of that joke. All right. Can I do a false laugh then? I don't know. Maybe that is. Whoa. On this week's episode, folks, you have calls from K.J. England who thinks rub has dashed scruff. Hmm. I think that call came in before the revelation of the dog pelvis. And with a spoon who wonders whether Adam realizes that gullible isn't in the dictionary. Just before I go on and say, I'm before all of that, let's hear about Lucy V. Freeman's week in Ambridge. Quick note, we've only had two calls this week. Now, I know that a lot of you are having problems with Speakpipe. And I have spoken to Vladimure from Speakpipe and Vladimure. He tells me, he tells me, there's no problem at their end. Now, I know that there is because of no blind spirit. Andrew Horn, just to name two people, are having major problems. So, folks, if you can't use Speakpipe, why don't you call us on O2O3, 031, 3105. And at least you can get through to the show that way. But before you call in with your caller in a recalls, I'm an alternative to Speakpipe. Here's Lucy V. Freeman and our week in Ambridge. MUSIC We began the week with Brian quite understandably getting the pip about Apple Day, which was being held in the 1970s, judging by the music and refused to go. Good choice, Brian. Jenny Darling got cornered at Apple Day by the nosy buggers wanting to know what was going on at Barrow. And Susan's daily mail alarm went off when she realised that Barrow Farm brought in foreign cows with foreign bugs. They hang around the channel tunnel on their mobiles anyway to throw them off the scent. Jenny Darling told everybody that Teller was pregnant, which shut them up for about a second and a half. Linda has completely given up actually doing any work on reception at Gay Grapels, and instead is using her time there to print off flyers about calendar girls. I'm not sure she should be printing off lots of pictures of older ladies hiding their bits behind droopy dahlias and lemon drizzle cake. And anyway, Roy surely has a ring binder full of such images should she feel the need. Not much from Helen and Titchinob this week, apart from him formally adopting horrible Henry. I finally realised who Henry reminds me of the poor little sound effect. It's the little girl from absolutely. I do know what is a rat catcher. It is a jacket what your new daddy wears when he goes out to be a newvow peach and he goes galloping around the field saying, "Can we bard through your fences? Please thank you." And they say, "Yes!" and he goes home and bullies your mummy, so I do know what is a rat catcher. It is, it's true. Harassment Burns is on the case with finding edge cattle, so all you can all sleep easy. He's putting inquiries out through social media apparently. At Harassment Burns, I've lost some new cows #sadface. Over at Challenge Neil Carter or the Jerry-built Village Hall, I don't understand how Dannekin Skywalker, who has been trained to crawl through netting and march about in circles, is apparently an expert builder who would, according to Neil, have the Village Hall finished in no time. Really? How? By bombing the foundations or what? There was a bit more nauseating flirting between Pip and Toby. Every time we see Toby these days, I imagine him in slow motion flicking his wet hair off his forehead while Pip wheezes and clutches the edge of a goose pen. He follows the same pattern every time. He begins by apologiseing for either being sweaty or naked, then does a bit of heavy-handed faux sarcasm, and Pip does crossface and then it's all over for another week. Toby used his strange marketing technique again on Adam this time. You know the book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People?" Toby read, "How to ingratiate and bewilder people?" He just says, "Hello, I want to meet you and be your friend. I am coming to see you tomorrow." He's like a three-year-old in reception who marches up to the other child and says, "Hello, you have got a football. Will you be my best friend?" The village all got together to support Ed and to have a self-important meeting full of neighborhood watch rhetoric. They talk as if they're living in some kind of frontier town and they have to create a vigilante group to protect the cows. In actual fact, all they do is put up a sign with a meerkat on it and expect that to work. Anyway, as if they don't spend the entire time poking their noses into each other's business, as it is, you can't fart in Ambridge without Jenny Darling telling Peggy who lets it slip to Auntie Cardboard who mentions it to Susan in the shop who asks Jenny Darling to put it on the website until Linda sets up a campaign to stop it. Sadly, the only person in Ambridge who wouldn't have stopped and said, "Oh, hello, who are you and what are you doing here, please thank you?" When they saw the castle rustlers was Kenton, who was the idiot who actually saw them. Poor Charlie Satinship had in the rain having eaten half a banana until Adam came along, rescued him and gave him the other half of a banana. David didn't disengage the PTOs. So Wagon, the silly sausage. The thread from the large Hadron Collider got caught around the spinning Jenny in the V4 engine. I think I got that right. David tripped off grudgingly to Pip's graduation ceremony. "Yes, yes, well done, dear. You've got a little certificate thingy from the teacher while I'm on the phone to the tractor man." So important that your children feel valued, isn't it? Then it was the fluorescent house warming, which was utterly sickening. They were nearly caught in flagrante and told us coyly and entirely unnecessarily that they had christened every room in the house. I don't know how they managed in the air and covered, and I don't want to. Anyway, in my world, christening a room means the dogs peed in it, so I'm quite glad the sitting room remained unscathed. Linda sniff made a welcome reappearance as she attacked poor old Charlie Barb's bread sheet and said he had personally injected all the cows with mumps or whatever it is she thought they had. Daddy Adam came countering to the rescue again and suggested that he should cheer himself up with a sleepover at Adam's house. Oh, good idea, Adam. Charlie needs more complications in his life. However, before all that, we found Scruff, hurrah! Oh, he was hanging out the back of a silage clump, boo! Still, one mystery solved day, it's like Scooby-Doo, or in this case, Scruffy Don't, the end. I quite like that this week. Yeah, yeah, poor Linda when she realises the reason why. I know. Oh, gosh. And she's gone off on the wall path, and it's bloody scruff. The cows have been eating Scruff. How are they going to know it's Scruff, though? I mean, it is Scruff. It is Scruff. But how do they know Scruff? Well, there'll be a slight scintilla of doubt, won't there? Like, it could be another dog. But what type of dog was Scruffy? It was a little small thing, wasn't it? No, he was a Labrador Cross, I think. Oh, God, well, I don't know. So, when you look at the skeletons of a Labrador Cross, looking at his tail case, you'd be able to tell, won't you? Yeah. Mm. When he started talking about putrefying dog pelvises, I thought, how many people are eating their supper to this? Just going four-calf way to their mouth. I was like, "Ah!" The whole Scruff mystery kind of gone away, hadn't it? Unless you live on Twitter, and it was still, you know, going on there. He was still alive there, but as far as... Every time anyone heard, you know, rustling in the hedges. Scruff! I know. I did feel that we learned more than we ever, ever needed to know about Clostridium botulinum as well. Oh, no, oh, contrary. The agricultural story of the two guys. Guys for Bennyworth in this week, didn't they? Bloody hell. He did, he did. But he's fascinating. How? In a sort of revolting way. It's fascinating that such a titchy witchy thing can, you know, have such catastrophic effects, and it's so, you know, there's such a little amount caused such devastation. It's like sort of chemical warfare, isn't it? I'm still here. I came back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never went away. So good. Right, so I learned this week. And the rather excellent free economics podcast. How, you know, if you eat raw chicken, what happens to you? Well, nothing unless it's got salmonella. Hmm. Okay. Well then, you're one of these clever people that actually knew that salmonella is not in all raw chicken. I thought it was. Really? Yeah. Didn't everybody think that? I don't know. Hmm. Well, you actually probably can eat raw chicken. Yeah, a bit horrible though, isn't it? Well, it's kind of a bit kind of... Like a scallop or something. Yeah, exactly. Salmonella is only in about 10% of raw chicken. And I just say that about this botcholine and thingy bobbly. Because, you know, you can just learn stuff about microorganisms and it's quite fascinating. [laughs] And actually, the amount of the stuff salmonella within raw chicken is actually going down in the states. So, say, the FDA. So I just kind of swear that impure is a random thing. Because we have to fill on this show, Lucy. Because we ain't got nobody. [laughs] There's method to my madness. It's conversational. We're going to be heading down this week in compensation. Hmm. So I think I should actually slow down. [laughs] And, um... Yes! Tell us more! I haven't heard that before. I haven't heard enough. Well, I tell you how all this came about. Okay. Because in The Walking Dead, you know, the top rated zombie show. Okay. There was this small little, um, kind of like vignette with this one character in her backstory. And you see her. And she's in this car. And her parents get eaten by zombies. And she goes, "Oh, my goodness!" And then all of a sudden she's kind of wondering weeks after it was all by herself. So she sees his tortoise. And she just rips the head off the tortoise and chows down in this tortoise. And everybody was like, "Well, that's just a death sentence." Because they're reptiles and they're going to have salmonella. Not necessarily. And that's how this whole thing kind of came about and stuff. So, mm-hmm. Right. Anyway. So, um, on that note, shall we? Cheekly. Very quickly. Uh, well, not very quickly. Because that would mean that we'll have an incredibly short, short show. Uh, so we very slowly and deliberately not only listen to, uh, who's called in this week, but absolutely go through everything they've said in my new shy of detail to spin this show out. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Ah! Hello, Ambridge 3962. Hi, Inroyfield. It's KJ here. I'm also known as Sweet Boy on Twitter. I'm just calling in to say that I'm going to go all grunge on the Barrow Farm Story and say that the boatalism is stemming from Roy hiding a carcass in the cow's feed. Not a very plausible plot, but one can but dream. By the way, Helen sounded tonight like she was almost going to first up to Adam, but she's not pregnant. We'll just have to wait and see what this story line ends up with. Over and out. Bye. Now, this is KJ England, who I think is Carl Jonas Johansson. That would make sense. Yeah, but I don't know why he's completely changed identity. Stop trying to confuse us, Carl. And surely should be... We have ten first enough grip on reality as it is. Yes. Without you changing your name, I'll fade through the sodding thing. And should be KJ Sweden, shouldn't it? Isn't he Swedish? He is. Hmm, alright. So, he reckons, like a lot of people, that somehow Rob is going to be culpable for this. I mean, instantly Rob started saying, you know, for the scruff in the silage scruff. Silage Alaskruff, as it should be known. Um, instantly Rob started saying, "Oh, well, of course it's all gone wrong. I could have predicted that that was going to happen at Barrow Farm, and that's partly why I left because it was so terrible." So, would... but I don't see how Rob could have stuck scruff. I mean, where does the silage come from, the grass? Which would have been post-flood, so it would have been Scruff's carcass, would have just been washed up with the rest of it. Exactly. Isn't that Rob? Is there... There's no planting, is there? I mean, much as I would love Rob to be, you know, to blame for everything from, you know, the Black Death onwards. Uh, I don't think he did, realistically, which is hugely annoying. No. No. I think Rob's connection with this is the fact that now he, as you said, he's using this to vindicate him leaving Barrow Farm. You know, I knew they had dodgy kind of practices there. They were cutting corners, weren't spending enough on Barrow's procedures, blah, blah, blah. I knew I saw this, which is a whole load of hokem. However, as I kind of said last week, though, probably with a small, with a more skilled manager, they would have spotted that the cows would get in sick previously, you know, but actually this has been somewhat kind of unforeseen. I think it's very quick with onto the line, yes. As far as I know, you don't get any warning. It's kind of, once they've eaten the infected stuff, it's in the system, and then, you know, it's sort of like an incubation period, which is short, and then you just bang it's all over. There's that you don't get a lot of warning. And I think it sort of incubates that. Do you follow the, the Archer's agricultural script editor on Twitter? Was that a DM? So you need to go, or was that a quick, a quick Google? Was that Lucy? No, it's an educated guess and I could well be wrong. Do you know what we don't have following us? Mm, what's that? You know, we were talking about that. All the people that followed us that are tremendously clever and all that. We don't have any vets. That would be bloody useful. Well, we've got an almost needed became event, poor room. Because remember, he switched because, you know. Yeah, that's no good. It's easier to become a doctor, he said. That's a fantastic episode. Sorry, we're going off again. I am this time. Sorry. There's a fantastic episode of Hancock, Tony Hancock, where he, Hancock's half hour where he is, has a medical assessment from a vet, who said he got drafted in and he makes him get on all fours. Because he said otherwise he got work out where everything is. Tony Hancock was standing on the examining table, standing on all fours. And he just keeps going, get your clothes off like this. It's Kenneth Williams. It's very funny. Anyway, sorry. You love Tony Hancock, don't you? I do. Yes, I'm very fond of him. Yeah, so may I just want to laugh? You mentioned him frequently. Do I? Yeah. Listen, no, no, I'm not knocking you. Good, good, bromi. Yeah. So, no, much as we'd love to pin it on Rob, we can't, really. But yeah, it's what effect this is going to have on Linda, because she's going to have the double triple whammy, really, of A, the discovery that Scruff is dead. B, the fact that Scruff's death has inadvertently caused the death of hundreds of other cats or 40 other cows. And C, the kind of the slight humiliation of her having ramped everybody up into some barrow farm is, you know, unless they, could they try and sue Linda? I don't know about-- No, you can't. You can't, can you? That's, it's not quite active God, but it's kind of, isn't it? How the hell can you blame somebody for that? You can't. Yeah, no. Though, I tell you what, though, considering the business of kind of tenuous links and stuff. So, there's artificial lightning barrow farm, isn't there? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I just saw the Ai Wei Wei exhibition at the Royal Academy. Yeah. And he has, in the last room as you walk around, these six massive boxes. And if you peer in, you can see these kind of third life, third, third scale, and representations of his time when he was in detention. Right. And 24 hours a day, artificial light. And he's in this-- Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. They don't have artificial light. Because that's one of the things that everybody says about barrow farm, and Charlie always correct and says they have airy, with airy, natural light. Then, I thought, isn't the natural light blue artificial light? So, it's light daylight. Ooh. Don't know. I always tend to switch off a bit when they go on about barrow farm. Well, anyway, whatever, whatever light they have, they're inside. They're in captivity, aren't they? Yeah. Yeah. Right. Hence, tenuous link to Ai Wei Wei. Right. So, you peer through these little peep holes. And there's him. And then these two Chinese military guards who just stood about two foot away from him, just watching him. And for the whole time of his captivity, they watched his every move. So, when he used to sleep, they stood over the bed. And this room, in real life, couldn't be no more than ten foot by ten foot. When he had a shower, when he went to the toilet, they watched him on the toilet. They didn't even just stand outside the room. Absolutely incredible. And everything was covered in some kind of plastic wrapper as well. Classic wrapping. So, even the chair. It wasn't sitting on the chair. It was sitting on this chair through plastic wrapping on the bed toilet seat. Everything. You know, the psychological torture. Are you saying that the barrow farm cows are the Ai Wei Wei of the Bovine world? Is that what you're saying? I think that's exactly what I'm saying. And they're going to come out with some inspirational, controversial modern art any time soon, which will take the Western world by storm. Some of them that are left, that haven't succumbed. No, but they're on their way back, aren't they? Yeah, because they figured out which silage, whatever they were actually eating from. And, you know, so... It's written, by the way, because Rob hasn't clocked yet that Helen has agreed to supply barrow with silage from Bridge Farm. I thought he actually had. I thought, because you listen to the shows back twice. And for the most part, I must admit, scandalously, I actually don't. But I thought it was a conversation which say Helen and Rob had with somebody. And I forget who somebody was. And he says, "Oh yes, I know it's all terrible over there." We've given them some silage. And I thought then Rob was there also, and then said, "Oh yeah." But then, but they're all bit, you know, crab running. Oh, okay. I couldn't get wrong, but I think... No, I think you're right, but I can't remember who it was. Have we done Carl? Oh, look. From England. I think we've done him to death. Yeah, haven't we? Adam, and now with a spoon we have now. Oh, just before we go on to that. Royal Academy had never been before. An amazing building, great organisation. Digital disruption was also the other exhibition that was there. And the I-Y-Y stuff was very good. You should see it. I should. Mm-hmm. With a spoon. Hey baby, I hear the blues are calling. Toss salads and scrambled eggs. Massive. Greetings Lucy Royfield and all dumb tea demerits around the world. It's with the spoon and Angus Haggis here. Angus is feeling very sad after listening to the end of Friday's episode. But we'll get to that later. You know, handsome husband and I have been watching home fires on our local PBS station. I know it was shown in the UK earlier this year, so don't spoil the ending of the series for us. But I've been struck by how much it reminds me of the archers back in 1940s ambridge. There's the W.I. of course. A hottie old bitty. A middle-aged woman who always says what's on her mind. A farmer husband and wife team, a minister and his wife. A young house cleaner, a dog who runs off. And of course an abusive husband and his fearful wife. Speaking of abusive husbands, I know a lot has been written about Rob this past week, including by me on the Dumb Tea Dumb Forum. Please have a read. All I'll say right now is how much I'm struck by how easily and how much he lies. I now believe that we can't believe anything he has said about his past and his family. We are also listening to a slow simmer of the pot. At her party, Fallon became suspicious of what is going on with Helen, and soon we'll have a confrontation between Fallon and Rob over the cafe. Adam's interest was also peaked when he heard that Rob was lying about the circumstances of his departure from Barrow Farm. But frustratingly, Adam didn't pursue any debate over the issue. Speaking of being frustrated with Adam, for a smart man he certainly has a hard time saying no, and I don't mean in the bedroom. He allowed himself to be fleeced by a stepfather. He was railroaded by his half-sister into allowing her to use one of the Barnes on the property and he having to do the work on it. And now he appeared to be on the brink of being easily conned by the ultimate con artist Toby. If Adam enters into a fool-hardy business deal with the Fair Brethren and loses his shirt, just when he asked to prove his business savvy to Brian, he would have only himself to blame. Finally, now Angus don't listen to this part. The final reveal of the carcass of a dead dog presumed to be scruff at Barrow Farm. The cows eating the dead animal would be the cause of the botulinum outbreak, an ironic twist, only if Linda had been able to keep scruff safe and secure during the storm. There would not have been a health disaster that Linda is now protesting. Ooh, it's like a recent Doctor Who episode. But one final point, who was the manager of Barrow Farm at the time, and also should have checked on the conditions after the storm. Rob, of course. But now I'm thinking of course scruff again. Si, pause. Okay, Angus, you can start listening again. Until next week, fellow dumty demers, it's Witherspoon and Angus Haggis signing off. This says Adam is just taken for a ride by absolutely everybody. He's running, he got cut sort of conned into doing those sheds, I'm sorry, yurts, for Kate, digging, sodding trenches for people to organically poo in. He's been drawn into helping Charlie, I mean, which is a nice thing because Charlie is, you know, he's in a bad way, isn't he? I like the way we've all suddenly said that we like Charlie now because he doesn't like Rob in the grands of my enemy's enemies, my friend. There's a lot of crap. I do not understand about the Fairbreath read. Hey, when are we ever going to find out what this nonsense, you know, this big thing that supposedly happened or didn't happen in Bloody Brighton, whatever? If we're not going to be told, shut up about it. If we are going to be told, tell us. Well, we are going to be told. Yeah, it's just a matter of time, isn't it? And how are we going to be told? But we are going to be told. Or record or something, or a gun bankrupt or something like that. But why is Pip so determined to, you know, this, yes, okay. You have incompetently kept geese for six months. This apparently qualifies you to be the ideal people to look after a herd of beef cattle. I mean, she is well trained enough to know. She's been educated in farming to within an inch of her life. Surely she thinks she doesn't think yes, these couple of mopips are, you know, make the ideal dairy farm. I mean, I know she wants to get into Toby's pants and everything, but she doesn't need to be quite. They're not, they're not on the brink of leaving at any stage. Why is she running around trying to kind of desperately keep them in the village by suggesting more and more ludicrous schemes they could. Well, because they're evolved with. Because they're fit, aren't they? You know, and also to be fair to her. She's not that stupid, is she? Yeah, but, but come on though, they're approximately her age. So they're young farmers, they knew they're somewhat exciting. At least one of them apparently is. The other ones are a little bit, you know, much more steady. They're on her land, aren't they? So, they're on her land, because she got them on her land. She was the one who, you know, persuaded everybody to do that and ran around screaming until everyone said, "Oh, well, right then." You know, but there's about 27,000 more people, you know, Mike. No, the language is not. Mike, no, for people who... That would make it a town, it's a village. But no, I mean, people who are more likely to work, to be successful business partners of Adam, than those pair. Well, on that note, I had a rather enjoyable few glass of Prosecco, the one Joe Andrews, aka JoJo Sexy Hills this week, right? And that woman is smart, right? And the fair brethren came up in conversation, and I did try and put an embargo on all archers related chat. But, you know, you get to archers fans together, you know, and automatically you start going, "Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb together." And then you just start, you know, whittering on about all things Borsiccha, right? Now, I said to her, I said, "I am no person of the countryside." But how the hell can you raise 250 geese, or, you know, for half the year, "flog them for Christmas" and have made a profit? Well, I said economically, it doesn't make any sense to me, but I know nothing. I'm a city boy, she was actually born in the West Country, she's rural, all right? Now, I got this note back from her. She went... Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. At Mint Mobile, we like to do the opposite of what Big Wireless does. They charge you a lot, we charge you a little. So, naturally, when they announced they'd be raising their prices due to inflation, we decided to deflate our prices due to not hating you. That's right, we're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at Mint Mobile.com/Switch. When it comes to weight loss, no two people are the same. 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Kenny's family health care benefits kicked in the day he started his hourly job at Amazon. With two kids, he was a big fan of that. Then he took advantage of Amazon's on-the-job skills training program that helped him launch a new career in software development. Kenny liked that, too. That led to a bigger paycheck. So he was able to get his youngest son a drum roll, please. Drum set. Next up, drum lessons. Learn more at about amazon.com. Amazon. Every day better. And Roy thought it makes nobody sense to me either, right? And then she went, right, I'm going to do some research on this. Goose feathers, 500 goose feathers, you can sell them for 24 quid. Goose liver, normally per goose, that's going to be a tenor. If you're going to force feed it, you know, for our grass styley, 60 to 100 quid per liver. Goose carcass, 6 kilograms, 85 quid. For retail, you're going to get 120 quid to 220 pounds each. So she says, top whack, 250 of the buggers, 55 k, bottom price, 30 k. Then she says, deduct food, rent, land, slaughter costs, it's a definite failure. But anyone has two of them bringing up these things. Yeah, so you're basically making £1.97 to have spent an entire half year running around screaming after a load of terrifying, gigantic birds. Which the only way that this can make any sense then to me. You know, I'm glad that she went to, you know, she went, I'm going to prove to you how bonkers this is. And she went off and, because I just thought with my silly, I'm just from the city head. Well, it's just the goose carcass for Christmas, you know, it's just the meat. But of course, I didn't think of the feathers, I didn't think of the liver. So there are other products that come off the geese, right? But when, as well, I mean, Toby, he's so irritating and I could have thumped him when he was going on and on in front of Ed, about how easy it was to get investment. And A, that's annoying because it's poor old Ed who's just, once again, he's been fate has pissed all over his eye to down. But literally, in this case, in terms of the geese, but it's the kind of, when he just said, oh, all my city pals are desperate to, city people don't invest in bloody cattle. No, not, you know, he just said there was a foregone conclusion, of course they will. You know, they really just sounded absolutely ridiculous to me. And another thing, and forgive me if I've just forgotten this, can you probably say to me? Can I just say, because I know you're just, you're rattling off, you've been rather entertaining. I actually didn't finish my point before. Oh, I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, go on, go on. Where did they live? Before. No, now. Well, aren't they in the 10-out-house caravan thing, whatever the heck they're in? No, that was, they're only supposed to be sleeping there. But they're living there, they really aren't they? Come on, that, that ruse has been seen through because the, you know, when... So two men... Tenton, when he went out on the rash with Toby, he woke up. Yeah, no, no, no, no. Yeah, but when it, so where was Toby? When, where was Rex when Toby woke up? Oh, fair dues. Yes, because he wasn't there, because he turned up, didn't he? He's there, if they can't get home for any reason. But I don't know where home is. I don't know where they've come from. Good point, Lucy, which kind of Lucy's going to take me back to, to the point I was trying to make for you rudely butted in, which was the one way of which this does make some kind of sense is that they have some benefactor, whether it's mom, dad, uncle, you know, fair brother. Chops up the bank. Exactly. He's basically said, right, Rex, sorry, Toby. I'm still getting too mixed up. Right, Toby, you made such an ass of yourself. Rex, get him, you know, take him in hand. Yeah. Prove that you can be, you know, productive members of, he can be a productive member of society. We're going to let you have a few grand to go get some geese, prove that you can be farmers, but actually they're being bankrolled because this in and of itself makes no sense. So they're being bankrolled because of the misdeeds of Toby. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I don't, I mean, they're quite interesting and they're good because they come at, they're kind of play farming, which is kind of irksome for the people that are actually struggling to make a proper living at it, which makes them quite amusing irritants. But it's just, the backstory just doesn't seem to kind of make any sense at all. Well, they just seem to be parachuted in from nowhere. Or will be revealed, or will be revealed, but when it comes to play farming, that's what Oliver used to be accused of doing all the time, wasn't it? Yeah, but he's still better than them. He seems to have a semi-idea of what he's talking about, Oliver. And also he worked with them. He had the grundies helping him out and he had to helping him out and he kind of had proper farmers helping him out, didn't he? Whereas these two were kind of just pissing around in a caravan with a, you know, I've got the visions of the bloody geese in a sort of a playpen, you know. They hose them down every now and again and let them out to have a little, you know, tiddle around in the bucket and then, you know, they just seem to have absolutely no idea. And it just seems really ill thought out. The whole storyline is like, we've sort of, right, we've got these brothers. What the hell do we do with them now, sort of thing? There was somebody on some bit of Arches related social media that posted a video last week of some little ducklings, which I know aren't quite geese, but, you know, same kind of family of bird, aren't they? Oh, not going down the slide. No, not them going down the slide. This is the one where they've seen water for the first time and there's a shed load of these things. And, you know, there's literally hundreds and hundreds of these little yellow things and they're all, you know, marching along. You know, they've just seen this water and they go, ah, water. And it's the most heartwarming thing. I've always, always wanted, I'm not soppy about animals and stuff, but I absolutely adore ducklings. Yes, you were. You love your dog and you can't. Yeah, but that's, I'm not one of those people that love all dogs and I love my dog and my cats. And I'm not really interested in any of the other things, but I do absolutely adore ducklings and I've always wanted one and the lady down the road said one day, this ducklings just appeared on my doormat. I don't know what to do. She said, I've got a duckling on my doormat and I nearly broke my neck trying to get up there. I would look after it. You know, when your mind leaps ahead and I was like, and they were lovely, I were lovely don't stay okay, don't carry it. And then I got there. It was a bloody goal chick that had fallen out of the nest. Oh. Absolutely gutted because I was desperate because ducklings imprint. So if you're the first thing they see when they hatch. Yes. They sort of go, mummy. And that's it. They're convinced then, even if you are a great Dane, you know, that you are, you are mummy. Which makes them extra cute. Yeah, absolutely. And then if you ever want to fall down a rabbit hole on YouTube, people. And then just like come up hours letting say, how the hell have I just waited two hours in my life? Start by looking at videos of Geese in Thailand, walking along roads and whatever. And I tell you, I kid you not. You will next two hours of your life will fly by at a ridiculous speed. Absolutely amazing. And it's, you know, they, it's like they're flying, but they're walking. You know, and they just swarm all the way around these, these cars and these, you know, these and bicycles and whatever. Absolutely amazing thing to watch. My parents used to keep geese. And when I was little, I think this is right. I went down to the duck house at the end of the garden. And I was feeding them or something. And I had a little blue coat when I was about, yeah, two or three. I had a little blue coat with furry hood. And one of the buggers picked me up by my hood and dangled me off the ground. Really? Yeah. They're not, they're not nice geese. They really aren't. They're horrible. Hey, talking about geese. I met somebody from Greece today. You're rambling darling. You're rambling. It's a good job. I'm here to keep things in order, isn't it? I think you put you posted it on Twitter, didn't you? I did. I did. It was just that wandering down the road. I had a lovely nice little breakfast. And I just like coming back. And I only saw the eggs. Sorry. It's your own house. Ever. Lucy, it's a Sunday. Come on. You know, you get the paper. You wander to a little cafe. You have a little bit of scrambled eggs. And jobs are good. Walking back. Now, having a little preamble down Portobello. How many bumping to Janis Verifakis, the ex Greek finance minister. I'll tell you what, eating half smell good. But I'll tell you what. If you want to-- It's your time, isn't it? It's quite easy on the eye as well. Well, no. He's not a bad looking bloke. No. And I wondered up to him. And I had to shake him by the hand. And I says, "Dude." And he went, "Yes." And I went, "You are one." You called Janis back Verifakis, "Dude." Well, why not? All right. I went-- What did he say? He said, "You went, "Scourish me, Mr. Verifakis." I love him. I said, "Scourish of the European Central Bank." I said-- Yes. I said, "You are one of the most controversial, but also inspirational politicians of recent time." He says, "You're making me blush." I says, "Whatever. It's actually true." I says, "Fair play." And he said, "Thank you." And I said, "Just as you shook my hands back to turn away, I went, "Stop that. We need to do this." And I took a selfie with him. And he was rather pleasant about the whole thing. And then I wandered off. And then I saw that he was giving a talk right there and there. And that's the reason why I was at the Tabernacle. And-- He got up to the stage and gone, "Hey, dude." Well, no. I didn't jump on the stage. But I did kind of a minor as to whether I'd go and listen to it. But I did. And it absolutely packed. And it was brilliant. And Michael Howard was the host. And it was absolutely brilliant. I'm absolutely amazed that somebody can speak in a language. He's in their mother tongue and be so erudite, so entertaining. And just-- You know, the man has got a brain the size of a planet. Whether you agree with these politics or not. And as I say, Michael Howard was the host. And they seem to get on aimably. And he kept on talking about the fact that he does like, like a figure like Thatcher. He says, "Don't disagree. I don't agree with the politics. What won out?" However, you know, she's a conviction politician. And I have many Tory friends because of it. You know, people who actually absolutely do believe in what they believe and are unshakable in that belief. And he has a lot of time for that. But what an entertaining and what a charismatic person. What a charismatic person. So, yeah. So there is my tenuous link from Geese to Greece. [LAUGHTER] Shall we have a break, Lucy? Or do we have some emails? We don't. Yeah, we do. We had that big, long post. And I sent it to you in the week. And I said we should turn this into an email. Oh, God. Yes, all right. Do the advert quick while I find it. [LAUGHTER] All right. Cool. Well, whilst you're tapping right at your keyboard. [LAUGHTER] We'll come back in five with a touch of Millie Bell. Hashtag the arts of tweets of the week. And a rather clever post, which we're saying is an email which went on the forum this week. See you all in a little bit. It's the story of a cultural superpower that danced and sprinted its way to success. It brought the world reggae, calm power. Rastas have popped Bob Molly much more. Its story is told to you in full color for your podcasting years. It's the story of how Jamaica conquered the world. Search for us on iTunes. How do you make a conquered the world? It's probably the best least known podcast and podcast on. Search for it today. My name is Kate. My name is Jo. My name is Nicola. My name is Suzanne Herkemy. My name is Mary Parkinson. I'm in Hope House as a client. I have had addiction issues. I'm a Hope House. It's an addiction-eating disorder. And addiction-eating drugs. Methadone. I'm here because it got really bad. At long last, a thousand and one conversation is available to download from iTunes and all good podcatchers. This was a place where women worked to help other women. Hello. Just a quickie. Sarah Smith cloths are really useful. If you soak them in gin, they make a marvellous Molotov cocktail if you ever get the desire to burn down a yurt. Sarah Smith for the posher washer. Fancy getting your mouth around something warm. Something comforting you can really get a firm grip on. Why not buy a dum-dee-dum mug from the shop at dum-dee-dum.com. It goes down lovely. Good day, everyone. Millie Bell here. It's been a really emotionally traumatic week for me this week. I teach the last year of high school and they've left and they have their exams starting this week. So I've had to say goodbye to some students I've been in after since year seven. So that's been really hard, but they're going to have a great life and I'll get a new set of students soon. This week on some of the pages I had a look and on the Arches Omnibus Appreciation Page, Lisa Geary said, "Are the Arches storylines becoming rather Biblical? First of all, now the disease cattle what next? Are the residents of Ambridge having their faith tested like Joe?" Ian Lindsay in Upstairs at the Ball said, "Surely someone must work it out. You can tell when Robbie's lying." His lips move. Helen Aldis on Arches Appreciation said, "Imported message from PC Harrison. Anyone traveling at 88 miles per hour, hitting a pole, causing a power cart and stopping the village clock will likely receive a fine and penalty points." And Collette Byatt in Arches Appreciation said, "I detect that Helen it's been needing to get a tea and a tea and a tea and a tea bit ever so pissed off with Robin his shenanigans. With a bit of support from, say, Kirsty, things could take a very different cause. I absolutely agree with you." Rowena Bentley said after the big discovery, and she said this on Ambridge Edics, "Oh no, I had to put my hands over my dog's ears." Oh, this was fun. Marina Mound in Ambridge Edics said, "Got a text from a supermarket last week telling me their Christmas delivery slots are now available." Question is, should I order Goose Turkey or pop down to the local farm shop run by a manipulative dictator? Oh, funny. Rebecca Beals on Ambridge Edics says, "Me, while my filthy mind can't stop wondering how many rooms Fallon and Petey Burns have got in their new cottage. Rebecca, I'm with you. That was the first thing I thought of. I was outside washing the garden when I heard that episode and I was giggling away with my naughty mind." And we asked on our page whether this was about the apostrophe on the website, and we asked whether anybody else reacted to this because I was at work all day and it drove me crazy thinking about it. Denise Tomlinson said, "Never buy an ungrammatical turkey." And I agreed. I said, "Absolutely." They just wouldn't taste the same. Gita Beecroft or Gita Beecroft said, "Turkey and a bad apostrophe. I'm veering towards a goose from the fair brether, and I'm not going to lie." Mark Everton said, "My money's on the fair brothers' geeces." Very nice. He has a naughty apostrophe in there. And Sarah Wood's Rockwell said, "I couldn't sleep because of that apostrophe." Bugged me all night. Thank you, Sarah. You felt my pain. We also asked whether you've ever been caught doing something recreational when you should have been working? Or was that just Linda? Robin Winnings said, "I think the best question for me would be, have you ever been caught at work doing work when you should have been working?" The fact question may take me awake all night now. With a spoon said, "Yep, posting on dumpty-dum." "Ah, my boss just caught me again." "Good thing my boss is me because I'm not very self punitive." Nice one with a spoon. Diane Thomas said, "Of course I have not. I'm far too clever to get caught." And Mark had not said, "Yes, I was caught engaging in a recreational act. I can't elaborate amongst a polite company." Very nice. We asked who is our agricultural expert? This is a win. Can we have some background information on the infection outbreak at Barrow Farm Place? And there were a number of responses, but Glenn Daya after said, "I think Rob is behind it. Maybe he tampered with the feed." This was before we knew what had happened. And then I wanted to write a post suggesting that we do a dumpty-dum-dew calendar. But before setting Lucy off on one of her double entendre sprays, Stephanie Giggly, but we wanted to know how will Ambridge keep a straight face if Peggy disrupts? And I had a couple of favorite answers to that. Fiona Griffin said, "Suesen in the bath with just a polyester tabard to preserve her modesty." But whoa, that's static. And Valerie Bailey said, "It won't be a problem. She'll just look as if she's wearing something that badly needs ironing." But my favorite answer for the whole week was Jan Aing, the children who said, "Blimey, if they put Fallon in it, they'll sell out in minutes. You're right, because Royfield will buy all the calendars, Jan." Hooray! [Hooray] Thank you for that, Miss Bell. Now, before we go into the hashtag, the artist's tweets have the last seven days. Why don't we have a little reading of Ollie Bladens' rather good, and I think it's a provocative post on our forum. Uh, Ollie Bladens says, "There seems to be some consensus that Rob is highly Machiavellian, but I am deeply unconvinced. While we can assume that he's well educated, he doesn't come across it as exceptionally intelligent, creative or industrious, which are all hallmarks of true strategists. I feel that Rob is highly opportunistic and very good at turning a situation to his mid-term advantage, but is essentially building himself a house of cards. I don't see any evidence that any of the threads in his web are particularly planned. When he moved to Amrit, he can't have assumed that a single parent fragile narcissist like Helen would be available for him to leave Jess for. Very true. I don't believe that he pre-meditates his gas lighter going abuse of Helen. It's just in his nature. Not so sure. The whole Stefan thing had to be dealt with on the fly as Rob hadn't bothered to handle situation cleverly. He just fired Stefan and hoped for the best. Yes. Leaving Cowdix wasn't something he intended. He twisted the event to his advantage through Charlie's abysmal handling and presented the actualities. His principal notion between the end he hadn't even done anything wrong. Charlie's vendetta caused him to misinterpret data to frame Rob for an accident. And his current plan to take over Bridge Farm is the most compelling evidence in my argument, as anyone with an ounce of business sense and/or intelligence would see that Bridge Farm has no financial capability to support its current iteration, let alone support him as well. Furthermore, wouldn't Rob want to job a greater status than Kenton's if he really was an accomplished ambitious schema? Well, very good. Hurrah. But I think A, I do believe that he premeditates his gaslighting and abuse of Helen, because I think that he, and we're starting to see that now, he sets up situations in which, like the, you're rambling darling, in which he can, don't you remember, I told you this and all that, in which he can make her think that she is losing her. Him wanting his hands on the control of the farm shop, et cetera, is completely not a premeditative. It is. He's not doing that on the fly. No. He's not doing that on the fly. Also, him wanting to be Henry's stepfather, he sat down and he's thought about that, and he's thought about the legal implications of that. Yeah, and he's rushed it through. He's found a way to do it the most, the quickest possible way that, yeah, that he can, he can achieve that. However, the thing about when you move to Ambridge, you know, and the whole Stefan thing, can't argue with that at all, which just, again, just goes to kind of like prove what a complex character he is and how he's written in stark relief as compared to some of the others, you know, because he is this incredibly fleshed out 3D character. And, you know, as Ollie says, you know, he is reacting to situations, but it's his underlying narcissistic nature, which is forcing him to come to the outcomes that he does. You know, it's not all premeditated pantomime villainy, as many of the people on Twitter would like to say that he'd all this. But I thought it was an absolutely excellent post, and we did post that on our Facebook and also on Twitter, and it's really good to see that Katie King, Charlie Cat, Becky Black, Samantha Dean, Witherspoon, Jean Rose, et cetera, have all responded, and you should too, dear listener, by going on to domdydom.com/forums. Right, now, Lucy, #TheArchersTweets of the Week. Hold on a minute, I can't find them. Bloody hell. Yeah, I've got them. I know we're supposed to be stretching this show out, but come on. I've got it now. All right. Andrew Davidson, who is MDD, make the tea, said, "Sorry Helen, the cast of Linda's new production of Brokeback Mountain has just turned up." John Reed, who said, "Rex, I've taken out the geese, Toby. You mean?" Rex said, "Yes, they palm the lot of them. This storyline was going nowhere." Dr Sally Ann Hookstable said, "I think it would have been better for everyone if Pipp had stayed in Highwickham, except for the good folk of Highwickham." Pat Egleton said, "Oh, Susan, just stick a bit of tinsel on them and get on with it." Yes, it was heavy, heavy use of Susan's breasts as a comedy device on Twitter this week after her reluctance to get a kit off in front of the assembled villagers was very evident and completely reasonable in my view. Anyway, commentator is sweet of the week. He or she said, "Susan's worried." Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi. We have a procedure for this, I think. Oh, sorry. Susan is worried that the village will find out she can swing him in opposite directions. But you know what? There will be some sort of carefully positioned tabard. Mm-hmm. Yeah. We should... You're the top of the tabard. In sympathy, don't you think we should do our Christmas dumbly done in the buff? Of course. Okay, cool. Don't we always? No. I am fully clothed right now. I don't know about you. Right? Because my webcam's off. However, what we should do is then we should stream it on YouTube or you stream or something and other. So people know we're not just joshing. Well, I did notice that poor old... Poor old ambridge view, Charlotte Martin, who is extremely good Twitter, and you should all follow her. She is guessing quite a lot of urging from listeners that she should record in the nip. And she's not... She's not taking the bait yet. Because they said we'll also want proof that that is what, actually, you are doing. Yes. She said I'm sure we could find a way, she says. So what a spectacular idea that we should have a naked Twitter long for the Christmas show. I... There's a certain kind of element of performance art about this, which I'm really up for. And me being somebody who, you know, I like a bit of art, Lucy. I like a bit of high culture. You know, so... And, you know, the naked form has been a staple of Western art, you know, for eons. You know, so these are a performance arts piece. I'm all behind it. Also, the dirty bug room he wants to see too. So, I don't know which part of my nature is going to win out on this, but either way, I'm all up for it, folks. Hang on, hang on, hang on. You're all up for seeing Charlotte Martin in the nude. You were a nice... You big... For an intended... Pun intended, I'm all up for everything. It's just a matter. It is four o'clock on a Sunday afternoon. What is the matter with you? Only for us but not for other people that probably listen to this podcast whilst they're in their bed and they're going to turn to their loved one and go, "Hey, Lucy and Royfield have put a little idea in my mind. They're going to put down their... Oh, God!" You know, you know we accompany many of our listeners to bed. I know, and the bath. Mm-hmm. I just get to get to the bath with Lucy and Royfield, so I'm going to tap. [Laughs] I'm going to tap. I'm always getting a bloody tap end. I don't mind the tap end, mate. It's cold, but you forget, lean back. Mm. Can they? Now, I think the show is just a bit over. And we've proved how what concert professionals we are, but by being able to string out a show, there's only two listener calls. But if you want to get to... Yeah, but a good 20 minutes of that was me losing my place. [Laughs] That's not... Let me forget, you know. True, true, true. But if you, dear listener, just can't get enough of Dundee-Dum, well, go to Dundee-Dum.com to join in the debate on our forum, and we can join in with the... Robin Helen article? Who's going to the meetup? Or Rob's scheming threads? Or you can start a thread or a topic of your own. Remember, if you are a John, or you have a real or tangible link to anybody who's been called John, you can become a member of the Order of John Archer. The Order's ancient scroll is available on the website. Lord Netherborn would like to induct Foggy the Fogster into the Order for his sheer persistence and offer of scanning his birth certificate to prove his name is John. Foggy, you are now to be known as John the 11th. And Gita Bancroft is hereby named John the 10th. Interesting, because my husband has been called John ever since he was born. He doesn't have a middle name, which is sad. I think it's Beecroft, not Bancroft. Really? Yes. That's Miss Lyons, isn't it? It is. Sorry, sorry Gita. If I've got that wrong. And it's not Gita, either it's Gita. Oh, that wasn't it. Sorry! Made it right. Lash over there. Anyway, a name named John the 10th, so it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. John the 10th. If you're coming to the thing, Miss Lyons, you are coming to the event, so feel free to punch me in the eye. That's absolutely fine. Good. Shop news. First off, we'd like to say big up too. Kay Gill from Tynan Weir, who has purchased an organic women's fitted t-shirt and a splash-off gin mug. Now, in further shop news, there will be a news blackout and all shop news. To stop you knowing what your loved one is getting you for Christmas, because I was told off Lucy. Who by? Oh, last year. No, well, I was told off last year, and I was reminded that I was told off last year. You told off again this year, were you? Oh, hold on. By JoJo. When we went out right, yeah. Glasses of Friseco, she went, you know, bloody numpy. You sport me Christmas. What do you mean I sport you Christmas? She said, because I knew what I was going to get, because these names flashed up on Dumpty Dum, and I thought, wait a minute, I know these people. They're members of my family. That's my daughter. Oh, yes. I'm getting some pajamas and a t-shirt then. So, I spoiled her Christmas. So, blackout and all shop news. Silly, silly, bright. So, no more shop news for now. No, yes, exactly. Good. Now, if you want to help keep our show on the road, there are two ways that can be done. One, go to patreon.com/dumptydum and support the show for $2. Two. That was quick. If you want to see that one, make sense to anybody that's not listening. If you want to simply donate, you can go to dumptydum.com and hit the donate button on the site. Remember to get in contact. You can send us a voice message via our website through a thing called SpeakBipe, which is somewhat on the freaks for many of you. So, please don't say well then, I can't call because you can get through. If you want to try us on Ojwa 3031-3105, and as I said at the top of the show, I have emo Vladimir and he said, no problem at their end. But yeah, there is. I know there is. Persevere. We will get it sorted. I'm going to be knocking on his door until it's all bloody simple. Do not be defeatist. Good listeners. Exactly. Try, try, try again. That's what my grandmother always used to say to me. But not don't be defeatist. We used to say try, try, try again if you don't succeed. But anyway, here you go, Granny. Or we are also on the Twitter's. We're on social media. We're on all manner of ways and platforms which can communicate with the podcast. We are, aren't we, Lucy? We are. You can find us on the Twitter's @dumptydum. We can tweet me or I'm @royfield. Me @losevfreamen or Sarah Smith @ Sarah_Smith. And don't forget, you can also follow us on the book of Face where you just type in "dumptydum". You'll find us somehow how for that thing works. And you can just join our merry goings on. Oh. Oh. Oh. Sunday afternoon joy speaking to you Lucy. Any parting shots you'd like to depart? Any little pearls or wisdom? Any little nuggets from your noggin? Keep my nuggets out of this. I think that your connection or my connection is about to go bums up because you're going very, very crackling and cutting out. Cool. All right. Let's say goodbye. You're going to send me that audio file ASAP. I am. And I'm going to edit it tomorrow because I'm watching the Grand Prix now. Goodbye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. If you're looking for an easy workout, you're in the wrong place. Peloton Tread has what you need to challenge yourself to be greater. 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