DumTeeDum - A show about BBC Radio's 'The Archers'
Dum Tee Dum Episode 41 – loads of callerinerers
Dum Tee Dum Episode 41 – loads of callerinerers
loads of callerinerers
Podcast rss feedThe post Dum Tee Dum Episode 41 – loads of callerinerers appeared first on DumTeeDum.
- Duration:
- 1h 31m
- Broadcast on:
- 13 Jan 2015
- Audio Format:
- other
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart choice. Make another smart choice with Auto Quote Explorer to compare rates from multiple car insurance companies all at once. Try it at progressive.com. Progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates, not available in all states or situations, prices vary based on how you buy. If you're looking for an easy workout, you're in the wrong place. Peloton Tread has what you need to challenge yourself to be greater. Need to be pushed to your limit? Their elite coaches will keep you on track to breaking past your goals. Whether you're looking to get stronger or faster, Peloton Tread has everything you need to become everything you want. Find your push. Find your power. Peloton. Visit 1peloton.com. [Music] This podcast is a Royfield Brown production. Find others on iTunes. All right. Yeah, I know. Mr. Pop. [Music] Four score and seven years ago went in the course of human events. And so my fellow Americans ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. There is not a black America, and a white America, and Latino America, and Asian America, the United States of America. [Music] Listen to the first show exclusively on Mixcloud Today, and subscribe to us on iTunes beginning January the 18th. From Washington to Obama, 10 American presidents, the new podcast from Royfield Brown. Because people have got to know whether or not they're presidents are crook. You were an only businessman looking for something to take your mind off work. Why not visit teasers and fell push 'em, where lovely ladies like myself will slide up and down a pole with a sullen expression, where we try and check the clock behind the bar to work out when we can go home. Teasers for romantic sponsors of Dumpty Dum. [Music] G'day Freeman. G'day. You're sounding chirpy, yeah? Where are you living now? Well, I've got myself a nice little cotch, as I was West Indians call it, over in a district called Mission. And I was staying with a gentleman called Julian, who's kind of never really there. He's planning on actually going in the other direction, he's playing on moving to Mexico, I thought all the Mexicans were moving up to California, but he's going in the opposite direction. But he's very nice, and he's makes a lot of the weed as, well, I'll tell you what, everybody in this town smokes weed, out on the street corners, it doesn't matter. I went out on Saturday night, went to this district called The Hate, and it's very kind of cool. Like a hate-ass breed. Yes, and it's very, very cool and very boho, and I just got out of the taxi, and it just smelt weed. Like in a way that I've never smoked when I go to downtown Kingston, seriously. And because everybody smokes outside now, but at like 10 o'clock on a Saturday evening, the vast majority of people are smoking weed outside, and it's just the way it is, I'm like, Jesus Christ. The air was thick with Ganger, it was just quite amazing, but no, it's very lovely, and yeah, I'm enjoying my time. Cool. What's your intention of the week? Are we doing a Kate now? What's it? Oh, God. To not throw my radio through the bloody window every time I hear Kate's voice, because honestly, I'm finding it difficult to control my fury. She's just hideous to listen to. I hate her. I hate her. I think she's actually coming level with Rob in my level of hatred. Really? Yeah, people that are going, ah, every time they peer. Thing is, she's kind of slightly caricature, but I do know two or three people who are Jeremy. So, yeah, yeah, I recognize a one ex girlfriend in particular. It's people who say, really, I've decided, I've just got to like concentrate on myself, and you think you have never concentrated on anybody of the fan yourself. It's always those people that say that. Yeah, there's, well, you know, we should maybe save this for the actual show show. So, I won't get down that route, but I am loving straight VB. It is kind of ad-fab, isn't it? That's what I said. That's in the monologue. Oh, gosh. All right. Well, listen, why don't we just kind of crack on this show because I am well up for a good one today. This is "Dumbed in the Show" about the reality of ducky drama that is centered on Ambridge in Art of Midlands. I'm Roy Field Brown. He's in toning his intention of the day, and with me, I have the woman who puts the lower interloxelie. Lucy Freeman. Oh. That's it. You're a boxing announcer, and the people that put the green in the village are you, folks. Now, today's rendition of "Barrick Green" was brought to you by Hattie. Alan, who's age six, I just loved that one, Hattie. So, I had to bring it back from the vault. Lucy. Yes. Can you remind our listeners, haven't we're in the accolade of "Dumbed in Dumber" of the week? Because we're dredging stuff up again now. We need some fresh ones. Okay. Don't leave us dredging, folks. If you want to send us a dump to dump or a prediction for Charlie and Adam, will it be titillation on the tractor or a poke in the polytunnel? Give us a call on O2 O3, O3, 1, 3, 1, 0, 5, or get in touch by a speak pipe on the site. Thanks again to lovely Harriet at Chambridge and to Derek for the load of the back bedroom. Derek is continuing his year of fundraising. He did stock October and November, and is currently doing bumuary for the back awareness. So, if anyone would like to donate, please do so via the donate busher button on the "Dumb to Dump" website, and also if you bump into him probably avoid shaking his hand. Cause this week, folks. We've got a lot of them. We've got some oldies and goodies back, not contrary. She's back, folks, and she calls all the way from Toronto with a cold watertrooper Cosmo. He's also back from Indochina, and he forensantly takes apart the scripts yet. Again, dusty substances. I just, I shiver went down my leg then when I said that. No, it's just, you've wet yourself against him. Yeah, no. I do have some bladder control problems. Dusty, just, just, I wanted to leave her, have you imagined just run away with me. But she calls us again, GeneR61, who had not forgotten us, and compares Tony to Lazarus, Yoko Bear, who is, I couldn't believe this, but Yoko Bear is the only archers listener, I know, who's not a fan of Ian Jeremiah Smith. Now, the first time Jeremiah called in, didn't agree with the word, he said, I'm now completely on board, and then bringing up the rear, we have the Naughty Buggah, who goes by the name of Sean Garrity. It's a bumper full show of calls. It's 2015. Oh, now, right, Lucy. Yes. But before we do the calls, can you promise me that you'll be here in present right now? Yes. Let us know what you've got in your milking parlour. Yes, I've got my ankles behind my ears, as I read this, that's a rather startling... Oh dear. Yes. Anyway, that's what I found in the time. January starts slowly for all of us, doesn't it? After a damp and miserable day, Helen cheered Robert with two fingers and some ginger, which must have brought tears to his eyes. Ah, Frieda was upset about the brookus' move and worked her way through a whole bag of pontefract cakes, said Bert. Killa Timoggan was concerned and immediately spotted Frieda as a potential buyer for her herbs. She wondered if Frieda would be interested in some lemon-bomb tea, or if she's had that many pontefract cakes, possibly a rubber bung. Ah, Shula and Jill had a completely pointless exchange about whether or not Jill would be bringing her curtains with her to the stables. I can't really see how she can leave them behind, but there we are. Jill is going to sleep in Daniel's old room and Daniel in the box room, so it's easier for Shula to creep into Daniel's old room and carry on the breastfeeding. Robert wants a cool baby, although he already has one, allegedly, with Jess, Helen wants a wedding first, as she wouldn't like to do anything as unconventional, as shack up with the creepy ghettos proposed while still being married to someone else who he's just had a baby with. Rob is similarly suggesting that Henry is lonely. Can't you see him playing with himself, Helen, like father, like Sam? Kenton let the gas off in the ball, maybe he's big at the pontefract cakes as well. Jolene and Kenton have now started swapping sexual favors for menial tasks. He has to clean out the condenser in exchange for a twiddle of her optics. He has in utterly predictable Kenton fashions, spoke to his progress money at the wall, and bought business class tickets to Australia with a stopover in La La Land where Kenton clearly lives. Oh, this is going to be a disaster, and not only, because we will inevitably be ushered into the Qantas laboratory with Kenton and Jolene while they attempt to join the Mile High Club. Phoebe is hanging around the lambing shed, swapping thinly veiled lambing analogies with St Brian the Holy Marta. I can help by feeding this lack what? What? What? Oh, no, no, sorry, sorry. I was going to interrupt, but I thought no. You best just like continue. I can help. But I can interrupt you if you do. St Brian of the Wear, I think quite catch what you said. St Brian the Holy Marta. Are you not heard? Are you not about Adam's gone away? He's left me to do all the work. Most of the time he sits in his study, pissing around on whatever it is, tinder, and drinking whiskey doesn't actually go out and do any farming at all. He occasionally picks up crisp packets from the fishing lodge, and that's it. But now Adam's gone. You see he's having to be a proper farmer. I think Brian's probably got an unbalanced spiritual core. Yes, no. I think Brian's spiritual core was probably propped up with a beausoleum, some venison pasties actually. I can help. Is that a cross for beausoleum? It is. That's the word of the reap. Caraph. I can help by feeding this lamb, grandad. Yes, I am loving having mama toe, which is brilliant. Oh, look, she won't let go of the bottle and neither will the lamb. Yes, he became, has discovered that why is a major food group? She spends a lot of time in her room at home farm meditating. Oh, we've all woken up in the hedge with a coke of Abb in our pocket, so after an evening on the meditation, I'm the big let down. So Kate's the big let down. Kate and Phoebe are now officially the Edina and Safri of Anchorage. They went out for lunch. Kate polished off a carafe, four, six, and made Phoebe late for her French conversation lesson. Just three days later, because she's on the task, my mum had to self-obsess not job. Helen used her let's talk. Just before we go on to Helen, can I just say, I love Kate Aldridge. I just like, Jeremiah Smith, you are so right. I'm so glad she's back. You know, we need, she's just the right side of being a pantomime villain to be believable. She's an accountant. She's like a nap bite that you forget about it, and you think, "Oh, maybe it's gone." And then it starts to be itchy, just starts to creep back everything. No, it's tilted! And we all know that kind of self-obsessed. I'm really spiritual. I'm thinking about the world, but really, it's all about me type person. And it won't be any of you who have a macrobiotic diet, apart from the four tons of coke they shove up their nose every weekend. I have a friend who goes on about organics all the time, while she's got a Marlborough light dangling from the house. I am thinking, "Oh, is that a home, is that the home, is that the home of a plastic tobacco?" Yes, clearly, that's what it is. I once knew this lady type person, and she was forever just saying, "I don't need to listen to the news, read the newspapers, because I know everything that's going on in the world. I just meditate." And they come to a point when New Orleans was under like one mile deep of water, and it New Orleans had been drowned for about a week. And she went, "There's something happened in America." And I said, "What do you mean?" "You tell me, love me." I said, "It's exactly what I said." I said, "Well, you tell me." She went, "Well, how has that happened?" That all of New Orleans, I said, "Well, you don't need to know any news. You know everything, don't you?" But the self-obsessness of these people, but no, I am loving Kate. And the actress playing her is doing a damn fine job. And I mean... She did very, very good piece acting as well. She did. She did. She went just at the start. You could just see she was just getting a bit slippy with her words. And you thought, "Ooh, I'm not sure she had to drink." And then it was really evident that she was drinking. Even before you knew she was drinking, because I kind of tuned in halfway to that episode the first time I heard it. And so she did kiss. But it was just only slightly. And then the next time, it was like, "I love her." Now, the very end. She is. And this woman is so vile. She's going to push Phoebe back to Roy, isn't she? It's just, you know, Phoebe's starting to realise, "Hmm, my dad's actually not a bad person. He's made a mistake, a pretty big one." But he's fundamentally not as messed up as my mother. And the hypocrisy of the woman as well. Oh, exactly. And she said, "And I don't know what the buzzers are for. Zero's doing." Yes! What did you check this from? Zero work. And I thought, "You did!" And I said, you know, when you were knocking off that, you know, your passing thing. I just completely forgotten about that, conveniently forgotten about it. Oh, no, son. Yeah. And forgotten about the fact that she knocked off Roy in the first place to produce Phoebe. You know, dearie, dearie me, dearie me. But anyway, you were talking about Helen. I was. Helen and her, let's talk to you like your six boys. She did it on Tina in the shop and Johnny. I'm not sure you should have ordered 17 tons of grated quinoa, Tina. And Johnny, you were supposed to have written three boxes of potatoes, and instead you seem to have written piss off Helen, you pompous deluded lunatic. Tony was measured up for crutches. At least they told Tony it was crutches. He couldn't figure out why they wanted to measure him from top to toe there and why they were carrying spades. Charlie, and this is the last I'm going to interrupt you at your words monologue, because one of my intentions of 2015 is not to interrupt unless it's absolutely meant and appointed and, you know, you need interrupting. And for the most part, you don't. However, we'll just say this. I am throwing this out to the doctors amongst you. How the hell can this man have had a tracheostomy and then just be as perky and as lively as he was? So, Paul, room. I'm happy with some tooth out. I'm happy with some teeth out and I sounded rougher than Tony about a month after. Well, I know people have said why does right field need to know what we do for a little bit? It's for things like this, so I can get this. You know, we've got Mary and a kiss and Paul room. They're the MDs in the house. What's the on and can we have some? I think exactly. I mean, if a man was dying at death school, he was staring at that. Listen, that man was looking at the little bright white light in the tunnel, wasn't it? He was that close to death and whatever. And now he's pogoing around the room. Mary Lettuce, is this possible? Paul room is disbelievable. How much Barroco did they give in? I don't know if he's supposed to revive you, but maybe it was Red Bull or something. Just absolutely incredible. Because I thought, look, I thought, have I slipped into a coma and woken up a month later? Because he sounded exactly like he did before. You know, we talked about Kate Aldridge in that episode. She went from being sober to a little bit. Tony went from being a death door to saying hello, mum, to being fine. Yeah, that's it. It's weak. Anyway, anyway, I promise I will not interrupt till the end of your monologue. So you go for it now, Lucy. Charlie has taken on the atom role, creeping up on Jennifer in the village shop and saying, "Oh, have you heard anything about Adam? Is he having a nice time? Has he texted or anything? Can I see the text? Did he talk about me?" Jennifer Archer, private investigator, murders and planning permission, and speciality, is now hot on the trail of Harry Mokshan, deputy editor of the Westbury Courier. He wears a trilby and has a fan dangling out of one side of his mouth. "Well, tuts," he said to Jennifer, "Come in and give me the load-down on the industrial unit. And let's give the boshister echo a kick up the patoony. Gail, the solicitor in the programme." I don't know, I'm going to use the word "tuts" when I'm going to meet a broad today on the street system. Hey, what's up with you, daddy? What's that? We need to reclaim the word "tuts." Yeah, that's a no. That word's awesome. It's awesome. I'm sorry, I broke one of my intentions in 2015. It lasted a minute, though. That's um, Gail. "The solicitor in Prada is investigating the wastewater at Hadley Hopkins, Tinkity Tonka, whatever it's called. I like the fact she's called Gail. It seems appropriate. She may have a sister called Light Flooding. Anyway, she's going to cost 180 billion squillion pounds for them to get water out of the tax in Prada rather than raw sewage. I wasn't listening to the details. I was too busy skipping around the kitchen, laughing and shouting, "Ha ha! It's all going to go wrong. We're going to take it off the market. You're going to be stuffed and everyone will hate you. Ha ha ha. Um, Edge doesn't want to get married in the church that his girlfriend married his brother in. His friend, Jill, to disfionse in and half his relatives are buried in. I can't think why. I mean, it's not like his bad luck or anything. Jess is making trouble for titching up and naming him as the father and demanding maintenance for Little Ethernet. Rob will sort it out by ringing the child support agency. Apparently, the CSA are renowned for taking people's words on trust. So it'll be fun, Rob. Don't worry. Just ring them up and say, "Oh, look here. You know, I'm not working fast or anything." A bit of a misunderstanding. A woman's a bit of a psycho. You know how they get. A bit of lovely human stuff and the other one's got a bit funny. Probably sort it out, will you? There's a good chap. It'll be fine. David went to a completely bats and had a lunatic meeting with Fran, a Francesca about robotic milkers. Fran, a Francesca sounded exactly like Newgate, who sounds exactly like old Debbie. It's baffling. And what is weird, is that I looked up Francesca and it's not a place. She's a personal trainer from Chicago. I accidentally clicked with her on LinkedIn and now I have had to endorse her for robotic milking. So this is the level of service you get from Dumpty Dum. And now you may interrupt because I've finished. Did it say, when you, when you connected with her on LinkedIn, suggested people you might know is her brother Frank? What the, what? That's awful that has nonsense about. I just like David just went completely mad. It's not that it was the job, the drive or what? But you could hear it even Ruth and Ruth and Pip go, "You all right? Shut up!" It's just like, "How do you call a tranche? There's no chance of another call. Frank, tell me what you have. I'll tell him." You know, he needs to get out of him. That's what happens to him when he gets out of a baucet chip. He needs to get out more often, doesn't he? Literally, he just needs to meet more people he's not related to, clearly, because he just went totally into it. This is in a very embarrassing fashion. He did. He did. But I did laugh like it. I did laugh like it. And I've had a lovely week listening to The Archers this week. I've enjoyed every last morsel of it, even down to, you know, I've been saying for the last few weeks that I don't, we don't need the, it's rather the father of the of the sprog storyline. However, I was slightly drawn in, because I don't know whether reading between the lines. She kept on saying that you're my husband, you're his father. She didn't say there was that night. She didn't. No. But why would she be pushing him to take the test? If she didn't, you know, you never ask a question that you don't already know the answer to, why would she be pushing him to take the test? If she knew, because she would know that it wasn't his. But I've said this a few months ago, this woman's not right. Okay, she's, she's not right. And she's, she's not an out and out nutter. But there is something not quite adding up. And the way that the script writers are throwing us these curveballs all the time. You know, we're all led to believe that, of course, he is the father. But I think Rob's gonna as, I don't, I think he's, I think he's these little spurs missed, missed the market. I don't think he is. And I hope he isn't. And I want, and I, I really want to investigate as the reasoning, as to her mental state and the reasons why she's saying actually the 30 years, because it's just too obvious to say that he is. And, you know, sign posted in that he had that night away. But, you know, he's not saying, fine, I'll take the test. And then, you know, is he, if it wasn't his, he would say, yeah, no problem, I'll take the test. And then it will be proved. And then you'll just have to shut up. But she also could have said, and I suppose I'm just thinking of this as a listener, because she could have said, Rob, there was that night when you came and come on, right? Because absolutely what they weren't doing is they weren't going at it at the clappers for months and months and months, were they? Because they were physically were separated. And she could have just said, look, there was that time, you know, and I know, blah, blah. Yeah. She didn't say that. She kept saying, you are my husband, you are the killer, which is not at all the same thing. No. Do you know what is really, really clever about this? They know Lucy. I don't know what is really, really clever about this. No, Lucy. James, no. What is a clever thing about this? This has literally only just occurred to me because I'm a bit sick. But this is blind spirit. This is two women who you don't know their stories properly. First of all, you think one of them's a nutter. Then you think the other one's a nutter. You're not sure about the man at all. You're fairly sure he's misogynist, but you don't know who's provoking them, not who's provoking who, but which out of the two is it this almost feels like this is more to do with Rob and Jess, like an elaborate game that's being played on Helen, exactly like in Blind Spirit, when it's like an elaborate trick between the first wife and the husband and the first wife against the second wife. So that means then. And she finishes up being kind of sort of emotionalised by both of them. So that means in that Rob will end up with Kate, then or something dreadful because he goes up to the third one right behind. Yeah. Well, no, he doesn't do that in Blind Spirit. He goes off on his own, basically. Oh, okay. Well, I didn't listen to the play properly. They kill him accidentally. I don't know that's going to happen, but I just think yeah, going way into the realms of fantasy now. I just think there is a sense that they both know what's going on and Helen doesn't. They both know what the truth is. And the only person who hasn't got a clue is Helen, and she's just being fed lies by both of them. Yeah, well, Helen wants to believe what she wants to believe anyway. But yes, but I think that it's incredibly perceptive. And you say that you're not clever. The woman who can speak about five languages. I can't speak about five languages. You can understand five languages. Yeah, but a lot of people can. It's not. That's not. I can't. I want in 1998 Christmas in Turin, and my girlfriend at the time's parents were chatting around the Christmas table. And I got the gist of the conversation. And I answered in Italian, and they all went quiet and went, we're going to have to be careful what we say around. That was the high point of me understanding the Italian language. It's been down, he'll ever since. And on that bombshell, let's hit those phone lines because we've got a trailer load of calls this week. Hello, Ambridge 3962. Hello, you two. It's not contrary from Toronto. Sorry I haven't called in for a while. It's been a busy Christmas in New Year, and you may be able to hear I'm still getting over a cold. And I'd also like to start off by letting you know that I work in healthcare administration in Canada, in case that's something you ever need insight on. I'll be happy to talk to you about that, particularly for cancer services. So today I'd like to talk about Rob and Helen. And I'm not happy with Rob badgering Helen to have another baby. And I was particularly annoyed by the scene where they were playing football. And he mocked Helen for kicking like his mum, kicking like a girl, which is just the most insulting thing ever. And then Helen went on to complain that her shoes were not suitable for playing football. And then my mind went to a horrible place and conjured up images of Helen having her feet bound in the way that was done for women who didn't need to work anymore. The families were showing the status that they didn't have to work. So their feet were of less use and their feet were bound. But I'm sure that's really not the case. And it did amuse me to see Rob so riled about the baby and Jess's call. And I was highly, highly amused when he talked about phoning up the child support agency to convince them that he was not the father, because I'm sure that never happens to them, right? You know, absent fathers, you know, begging them to see their point of view. I'm sure he thinks his charm and sophistication and persuasiveness will win over the call center people at the CSA. And of course he won't get very far with that. And we'll have to take a paternity test. You know, really, if you were being calculating like Rob, you might already think, well, then if I take the paternity test and I'm the father, Henry's got a ready-made little step brother to play football with. So what he could do then is he could say that Jess is an unfit mother. He could cook up some reason and make her out to be deranged because we know he sort of sent her into a bad mental state with all his abuse over the years. And he could say, well, I've got a loving, stable relationship. I'm getting married to my fiance. I have a ready-made set mother for the child. And then he could, you know, have Henry and the new baby together with Helen. And, you know, there'd be no risk that of Helen giving birth to a daughter because, of course, clearly girls are useless according to Rob. And that would be it, in my opinion. Get Helen to leave, he adopts the other child, then kill off Helen, kill off Henry. And not before Helen's already inherited all the archers property. And then the Jess spawn can eventually get the inheritance many, many decades down the line. That's where my mind went in my slightly deranged post-firal post-cold state. Hope it amused you two. Thanks, you two. Bye now. Yes, now, not contrary. Back to Jess and Rob. Not contrary, things. Apart from a very upsetting comment on Helen with bound feet. But yes, there is an element of that. And I thought that as well when she said, Helen said, I'm wearing the wrong shoes to play football. And I thought, I bet I was Rob's idea. I bet Rob made you my own shoes. Anyway, she thinks that Rob is going to persuade Jess that Jess is bonkers and Rob is going to get custody of the kid, Jess's kid, and then have that as a little baby that she wants. So that, so that Henry will have someone to play with. And his weirdo little empire will expand. I don't know about that, so I'm not going to comment on that. But one thing, I will say two things though. Welcome back, not contrary. Yes. It's a long time since we've heard from you. And on the bound feet thing, if you are looking for something to watch on Netflix, Marco Polo is not at all too bad. And there's a scene in there where the little girl gets her feet broken to be bound. It is horrendous. Absolutely horrendous. But Marco Polo on Netflix, if you're into history like me, it's not at all bad. It's a good romp. There's a bit of dare to say tits and ass in it too. Lots of incredibly strong female characters who use their intelligence, some use their sexual wiles to get what they want, and then some of them are just badass ninjas. And then you have round eyes as they call him in the Kublai Khan as he tries to conquer southern China. And the chance to let the song dynasty, what a phenomenal character. So anyway, Marco Polo, Netflix, it's free folks. Very, very, very, very, very good. Mask. Hi Lucy, Hi Roy Field and fellow dumpty dummers. Happy New Year to everybody. I'm Mary and I tweet sometimes as Mary Lettuce and I'm a doctor. I've got a few things to say this time. You don't have to talk about it again, but I am with Lucy on the, if Jim doesn't have to be a warlock then Carol Toboggan really shouldn't have to be a witch. But there you go, especially with her overly suspicious brew-ups. I do foresee liver failure somewhere along the line. However, Roy Field, thank you so much for mentioning the history of English podcast, which I've been listening to as I drive to work on non-dumpty dum days. It's absolutely brilliant, so thank you for that. David and Ruth, to be quite honest, they can't go to produce soon enough for me. I'm really beginning to test Ruth with a vengeance even more than usual, but I guess that's just good writing, but they won't go. We all know they won't go, and the rest of the year will be very tiresome recriminations. Cashela won't get her high-spec stables. Lucy won't get her bridal sweets or whatever, at Lower Lotsley. Kenton will go into deep debt because of his Australia holiday and Fallon won't get her tea rooms. You know, just go to Northumberland, please. Helen and Rob, I really don't think the paternity test stuff is really going to change anything really. Rob will either hide the DNA results and lie and pay the money anyway to Jess, or he'll somehow accuse Jess of sealing his sperm. Helen is is hooked and on the psychology side, I think you've got to remember that her last long-term relationship was with Greg, who killed himself. So poor Helen, I'm sure she's just very pleased that Rob is still alive and with her for all his controlling nastiness. One last thing related to that, there were some tweets over the new year that suggested that Kate might be the one to bring Helen to her senses over Rob, but somebody said, and I forget who, so forgive me, that she'd either sort out Helen or she'd have a baby with Rob, and it brought me thinking that I think it's an absolutely delicious idea. Kate did say how good looking Rob was at the party, and she is his type really, and Jess is obviously troubled and needy. Helen is troubled and needy, and Kate, for all her vegan bravado, is also really troubled and needy, and I think it would be really good, although probably a bit over the top, if Rob sets his sights on her next with all that dumping Helen first. I'm sure it won't happen, and I do fear for the blood pressure of goddess diva if it does, but we shall wait and see. I think that's it from me for now, he's loving the podcasts, keep up the good work, and bye-bye. Another person that enjoyed one of your recommendations was Mary Lettiss, who said she's enjoying the history of English. It is. It is a true recommendation, and I am a tiny bit of a segue. I said I've got my new podcast out, which is 10 American presidents, and it's out this week on Mix Club, not on iTunes yet, and I'm going to get Kevin Strow, who does the history of English, actually, to talk about Ronald Reagan and Obama. Yes, anyway, Mary Lettiss, tell us what shouldn't you be talking about George Bush, as he didn't want to mangle English language than any other president before or since, surely. Well, you know the whole thing about American English is that linguists say... It's wrong. Well, linguists say that it's truer to 17th and 18th century English than modern English, that we've had an accent shift, which the Americans actually haven't had. I really have ironies that we lordy over them saying that we speak correctly, but actually our accent is shifted, and theirs is more true. Well, be that as it may, I am not going to stop lording it over anybody, just so that everyone's clear. Tell us what Mary Lettiss said. You know what? On my notes, it just says, Mary Lettiss agrees with both of us, but I can't know what she's really about. But thank you, Mary, for agreeing with us. We like it when people agree with us. I seriously can't remember anything about it. That's nuts. It's been all dementia. Sorry, Mary. Sure, it's very good. Sure, everyone loved it. Hi, Notre Dame, it's Jeremy Smith. I've just taken the laptop out of the fridge, so hopefully this noisy fan won't kick in and interrupt me while I'm recording this. Last time I called in, you called me an outlier, and everyone's probably going to think that's even more applicable when I say how happy I am, but Kate's back. Now don't get me wrong, I think she's a horrible person, and if we met each other in the real world, we wouldn't have anything to do with each other. I doubt I would even register within Kate's reality, but she's one of those characters that you love to hate, isn't she, and all of the comedy that that provides. Then you get those wonderful payoff scenes where somebody tells her what they really think of her, even her own grandmother. Remember when Kate said, "I am Phoebe's mother," and Peggy said, "only when it suits you, dear, brilliant stuff." My only complaint is that all of the veganism and the meditation's getting a bit over the top, and it's making her sound like a bit of caricature, so I think they need to tone that down a bit if she's here to stay, which it sounds like she is. Finally, all done to the new actress, playing Kate, she really sounds like Kate, and have you seen a picture of her online? She actually looks like Kelly Bright, even though she doesn't lead to, even the TV soaks don't recast this well. Well, I'm off to change my username or Twitter now to The Outwire. Cheers. Jeremy Smith agrees with, or no, you agree with him now, don't you, because he's very pleased that you called him an outlier, by the way. Yes, but he changes his Twitter thing to be outlined. I know he's happy that Kate's back as well. I don't know, I don't know. It's just, she is, she's not the boo-hiss swish of a cloak, of a cloak that Hazel Wooley is, but I just find, I do, I cannot express how infuriating I find her. She makes my stomach physically sort of go all tight, like I've just been punched every time I hear her. I've always hated her, ever since she was small. I think because she dragged all the others into getting into trouble, when she was like the little rich girl in the village and she started playing with the grumpy boys in the abandoned house, the empty house, and she was making them do, and then I just, I was thinking, stop it, because you're not going to get into trouble, and they really are, and stop it, just stop manipulating people. I can't bear it, and I still can't. No, the level of self-delusion and self-centredness is just a model to be held, but as I said before, we all know at least one person who is like this, and you know, they kind of macro-biotic. I eat so well, look at me, my body is a temple, you know, I'm in tune with the world, lay lines, all that kind of cotton wallop, right, and the whole of the planet revolves around them. After saying that though, you and I are much more like a Kate Aldridge than we would care to admit, according to Mosa 68, who described us in their review, said we're very funny, but also very needy. No, yes, Mosa. Oh, good day! So, I'm seeing a lot of myself in Kate. But anyway, welcome on to reviews. We actually have some news of reviews, reviews, news. But anyway, we're jumping around in our show, and we need to come back to what Jeremy said. But yes, Jeremy, I completely agree, I loved that bit from ages ago when Kate said to horrible Peggy. I am Phoebe's mother, you know, and Peggy said only when it suits you, dear, and it was the deer at the end, it was the absolute kick in the pants. That was fabulous, I agree, if I bring us fabulous, fabulous. Hello, Dunte, don't you think we'll bear here? Just a couple of random thoughts, really, about the last week. I'm really beginning to warm to Rob Titchener. If I, of course, warm to, I mean smack him in the face with a frying pan. He goes from bad to worse, doesn't he, really? He wasn't going to show that letter to Helen. He's got more gas like than a Victorian street, to be honest with you. Though frying pan in the face for me is probably the better option for Titchenob, because if Goddess Steve gets his hands on him, well, it's going to get a bit medieval, isn't it? I see hot pincers and tongs up places where they shouldn't be. Yeah, it's going to be medieval torture there. The other thing, yeah, I'm quite warming to Johnny. It'd be great if Johnny had a nice little straightforward, non-drama, non-teenage pregnancy kind of love story. Just meet somebody and we follow his journey just getting to know them dates and dating them and stuff like that. Yeah, that'd be nice. But the opposite end of the romance dates, well, it's the end for Adam and Ian, isn't it, really? Bit of a controversial view, but I've never really been that much of a fan of Ian. Didn't really see much point to him, apart from dinner, basically. Just now, just, I don't know, just, I just never warm to him. And to be honest with you, if you look at this objectively, don't you think Adam will be much, much happier with Charlie? They can sit there often evening, bore each other with spreadsheets and agricultural talk. You know, I think Adam will just be happier, and also as well, you know, it'd be kind of marrying into the business, won't he? So, you know, Adam's future might be a bit more secure. I don't know, maybe it's not the end, I don't know, but I've just got a bad feeling about this. I think Ian and Adam are kind of from their course, but I don't know. But there you go. But then again, don't listen to me because I quite like Charlie Parker's spreadsheets, so, you know, my judgments obviously really weigh off. So, but there you go. Anyway, some random thoughts. I was very, very thankful for the lack of Alice this week. That was, that was kind of nice for me. So, yeah, so that's a state of play. And by the way, please god let this be the end of the Brookfield thing this week. Please just let it end. Okay, that's me, then. Okay, bye. Yokel Bear, teaching up is being found and deserves to be hit in the face with a frying pan. I like Ian. I don't have to stand by anybody who wouldn't like him. Let's talk about something that's not always top of mind, but still really important. Life insurance. Why? Because it offers financial protection for your loved ones and can help them pay for things like a mortgage, credit card debt, it can even help fund an education. And guess what? Life insurance is probably a lot more affordable than you think. In fact, most people think life insurance is three times more expensive than it is. So with state farm life insurance, you can protect your loved ones without breaking the bank. Not sure where to start? 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We also employ our neighbors to deliver the energy needed as the state's largest oil and natural gas producer. All to help improve lives in our shared backyard. That's Energy in Progress. Visit Colorado. Chevron.com. I think he sounds different. He has a proper job, but he does. And like many of the people on the arches, if you're not a farmer really, you're just stuffed. Because it's like they've got an agricultural advisor, but they don't have a real life advisor. So they just have no idea what real people do when they're not being pumped. That's a little bit harsh, because Alistair, his job is well defined. That's because he spends his time with his hands up accounts and bum everyone knows what a vet does. And he's basically being a farmer. Al and the vicar. Yes. All right. So how many vets and vicars do you know, Royce? Exactly. And how many data analysts or people who just do a bit of marketing or, you know, something nice and undefined, which is the kind of thing that people actually do? I know lots of those types of... Exactly. And Emily, there are in the arches. None. Apart from Robert Snell until he got the boot. Alice, she does something kind of a bit like that. She's a wedding planner. No, she's not. And a deputy director. The wedding planning was a little side hobby. And look at that turned out. It's going to say it went really well. That's a very segue. It was just a genius. Hi, it's Shawn here from Coventry. I'm on Twitter @CedarMaster. You asked what we all did for a living, and I'm a delivery driver. So I'm one of the few dumpedy dummies who's actually looking forward to Brookfield distribution hub opening. I do have a few musings this week. I know Blyse, but it wasn't universally enjoyed on here, but I for one thoroughly enjoyed it. Though I was surprised it wasn't available to download as a podcast. I'd like to kill off a couple of characters. One won't come as any surprise as Johnny, who has done my heading from the start, and he should just go. And the second one is new Tom, who is dull, dull, dull as dishwater. He's brought absolutely nothing to the programme since he come back, and just kill him off, kill him off, get rid of him. I'd like to spice things up however, by bringing in a new character who is going to be Henry's biological father, who is a six foot five rugby player, and is going to sort Rob out big time. The other thing I'd like to bring up is the subliminal power of Dunty Dun. I'm sure you're not aware of this, but I do find myself going around all get they, reminding myself of Ruth's answers, when she reads answers the phone, she goes, And bridge 3962, will have this stuck in my head all day, so much so. And I'm now using 3962 as my pin number on my card. And if anyone finds my iPhone, well, it won't take them long to get into it. Thanks then, bye. You see, Cedarmaster is a delivery driver. There are no delivery drivers in Ambridge either, apart from people who look in for a track to work. Do you know what he says about that? He can't get Harriet doing Ambridge 3962, you know, when Red Ruth answers the phone. My sister can't listen to that because it makes her yawn. She said Ruth's voice. Harriet, when Harriet does Ruth's voice, it just makes my sister feel really sleepy. She said she just sounds so exhausted. And she said she's just a stifle yawns. But yes, Sean, I don't think you should have given everyone your pin number really on a podcast. If you want to make amends, you can ring in and give us your date of birth and your mother's maiden name. He'd like to kill off Johnny and dull Newton. New Tom is quite dull, isn't he? But then old Tom, old Tom was dull, until he... Yeah, but he was an interesting dull. He was annoyingly interesting dull, as opposed to... He was a boy! And dull. Yeah, he was a bull. He wasn't actually dull, but he was a bull. Yeah. Why is this man isn't a snout? It doesn't just sausages, packing, packing, me and my sausage, me and my sausage. Yeah, exactly. New Tom's shown no evidence he's even got a sausage yet, does he? No. There's nothing on that front. That's because Frosty's gonna come back. Who are I think? And he'd quite like to kill off Johnny. Yes! Johnny's going to have to select series, isn't he? That's where all that writing the numbers down back to front in the thing was. Yeah, but... So that'll be drawn out for another bloody six months when we'll all be shouted, "He's got dyslexia!" That's the radio. You'll probably end up being Prime Minister then. Ah, because they're all entrepreneurial. No, no, we said Winston Churchill was a famous dyslexic, wasn't he? And he did so terribly cool. Yeah, yeah. And one of the reasons why he was so good at speech is he used to memorize them. And he just couldn't read from scripts. And I think he was second-bottom in his class at school. And all his teachers said, "You're amount to nothing," other than, say, "The British nation is from the British nation." That's him. Yeah, yeah. So, you never know, there might be a career in politics for Johnny. Hello, Roy Field and Lucy. This is GinaR61 on the Twitters. I'm sorry I haven't called for a while, been a bit busy. I haven't entirely listened to your latest podcast and completeness, but I'm just wondering if you mentioned the kiss, the Adam Charlie kiss, because Helen obviously saw that moment mad. But she just seems to have gotten about it. It's never been mentioned. I mean, it's any a week and I know they like to drag these things out, but it's very frustrating. And I'd also like to say that I'm not sure that 140,000 pounds will be a deal-breaker when the cost of the prop is three or four million. We'll have to wait and see on that one. Hopefully it will be, you know, now you're not. And I also want to mention the miraculous recovery of Tony, who once one minute was literally dying with apparently being at his bedside, and the next was pogoing around the ward, offering her birthday presents and keen to get back on the farm. I thought that was very strange. Um, so anyway, just a few thoughts, not very interesting one done for it. Thank you again for the podcast, and I'll speak to you soon. Bye. Jean R61. I love Jean R61's voice. She's got such a gorgeous accent. Um, the Adam Charlie kiss. Well, Helen hasn't forgotten about it. I agree. I was waiting for her to go rampaging round to Charlie or Adam and start chatting, but of course she couldn't go rampaging round to Adam's because Adam was not there. Um, and I'm not sure anyone even knows where Charlie lives, really, because he's been very good at keeping himself all secret secrets. But Helen did ask Rob how he got on with Charlie and how if Charlie was okay at the moment and had he mentioned anything about, um, and all that. And I thought she's, she's, she's, she's probing. She is, she's having a little probe to see whether or not, uh, Charlie has expressed any anxiety over the Helen spotting them. And also she was trying to find out whether or not Adam had, uh, whether or not Charlie had a significant other, wasn't she? She was kind of saying, has he mentioned his home life? Like Robert listens to what anyone else says anyway, so you wouldn't notice. Cheer that. Cheer that. And she says, gene r61 says that 140 grand is not a deal breaker where you're paying that much for a house for a flat. But if the survey comes back and says you should not buy this property because the water is so bad and the nitrates in the soil and all that, they won't get a mortgage. They won't get the, the, the, the, the, uh, the bank won't guarantee it, will they? Uh, God, I sound like Cosmo. Exactly. And this is all slightly over my head. But if you say it is so loosey, it is so. It is so. I don't bloody know, do I? Anyway, the substance is here, the wrong sort of listener. You were asking about storylines that we'd like to hear resurrected. And there is really only one choice, even for the right sort of listener. It needs to be the one that left us with a severe case of Brookfielders Interruptus. It was indeed the Oxford Ring Road when Sam and or Ruthie failed to go away forever. That was so disappointing, I can't tell you. I really would be very keen to, um, not hear about Ruth anymore. So I don't want her just to move to Prada. Because if she just moves, she will be regularly missed and worse still, she could possibly come back again. I don't want her to die tragically of cancer. I don't want her to heroically die, saving a calf from a ditch or something like that. Because in those circumstances, she would be beatified and there'd be yet another stained glass window at St Stevens, which must be by now completely lacking in walls because there are so many windows. What I do want is for Sam to return for a bit of kagul rustling in the milkshake. And I want him to remind her that whatever it was is huge, he kept saying it's huge. He didn't sound like a man with something that was huge, to be honest. So I think he must have been talking about something that wasn't totally apparent there really. Is it? And then they can go off and they can both die horrifically in a car accident that doesn't involve anything else other than possibly a tree on route to the travel lodge on the ring road. Having left an explicit goodbye note to Dave, because that way, she definitely won't come back and she will have left in disgrace. And so she won't be spoken of reverently in hushed tones as the stained glass window is finally consecrated. War roofy and possibly Sam, but definitely Ruth, dead and disgraced. That would do me perfectly, really. Anyway, that's it. Thank you very much. Bye! Dusty substances. Your nasty, dusty substances. She wants the, she wants Sam and Ruth's storyline back. Well, really, she just wants Ruth to go away. She wants her to die, she said. Not nastily, die, die nicely, but not in such a nice way that she ends up doing something brave and saving somebody from something else and inadvertently dying in the process. So, I must admit, before I discovered Twitter, I had no idea that Ruth was so reviled by, by archerdom. She never upset me, got in the way of me enjoying the archers at all. And then you, you, you, you, you discover Twitter, and... Oh, he's eating hot bread of loathing and hatred for this poor woman, who's done nothing, except marrying lots of children, cancer and a fear of a miscarriage, and that's it. Yeah, yeah. I don't think she has an inability to cook. Yeah. Well, I dislike her because I am jealous. I don't really have any major beef with her other than that. If she was, if she was married to someone else, I probably wouldn't mind her at all. Was that pun intended? No major beef. All right, all set chibi. I do think that she is a little bit selfish. She's a bit self-involved, maybe. It's better way, but I don't think I wanted to die, dusty. I think you need to have a little bit of a look at yourself. Wishing death on people. Hello, Dunty Dun. Cosmo here, here, means home, because I'm back. I've had a great holiday, and I've listened to some great podcast from you in the meantime. It's only eight weeks till I go on another holiday, which is good for me. Sorry Lucy about the capitals on the emails. I put them in on the Dunty Dun website, and it seems to put everything into capitals. I wasn't shouting at you really. Moving on. Derek Turner, who is an expert on these matters, tells me that it is impossible for Alan to marry Edlemmer, and if he does more than a blessing, then the pickup must lose his parish. So I wait to hear that Alan is leaving us. I was listening this week, and I wondered if Rob has found some way of altering the orders from organics before Gaza and Johnny made them up, and has he perhaps been seeing Tina at some point? Or is that overdoing the conspiracy theory? And surely, Helen should talk to Tom. It's all part of a family business, and Tony is keen to know what is going on. I particularly liked Carol's comment on the Aldrich marriage, almost a throwaway line, but it had me laughing. I don't really like commenting on the Brookfield move because we all know it won't happen, but I did work out that those robotic milking machines will cost around £400,000, and I wonder if they can afford that on top of everything else. Finally, I remain amused by the whole concept of an ambushed T-room and how it might make money. It will extract custom from the bull, which might upset her mother, and frankly, are there any premises for it to go in? But I have realised that the answer to the question was in an episode a few weeks back when Charlie said that he ordered takeaway sandwiches and coffee for Adam, and clearly she's intending to make her money out of selling takeaway sandwiches and coffee. Anyway, that's all for now. No doubt. I shall hear far more in this week's podcast. Good luck. Bye. Cosmo wants to know if Rob has been seeing Tina, and surely hasn't Stuart talk to Tom? Well, yes, but part of what Horrible Rob is doing with the jolly old gaslighting is making Helen feel as if he's the only person she can trust because that's how it works. So he said, maybe talk to me before you go talk to anyone else. Yes, it's really unpleasant now. Was that the first time we ever heard Tina's voice? Because when she had the interview, I thought so. And what's the name of that lovely character who works with Lillian and Matt? Oh, the one who was whipping them into shape and taking lunch. Yes. We need her back. Yes. She was probably that duckling tuft was quite keen on. Yes. Oh, the cut of a brogue or something? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. She was good. But then we've got a lot of singles wibbling around at the moment. People who aren't really, well, you know, they're kind of drifting. They don't have, they just sort of pop in and out again, like Tina, and like Johnny, and like, if I never hear another word from this Tina character again to till the, till the arches goes off there, I'll be quite happy. And you're not a fan? No, it's just, oh, come on. But Anthony, no, she brought something to the show. She brought something to the party. Yeah. And she had the match for Lillian. Yes. That was brilliant. Yes, I too, as well. Cos by the way, I'm a bit used by an average tea room. But judging by the way, the whole of average talks about tea and coffee, as if it is a combination of the elixir of youth and crack, possibly it is something that they need because they are completely obsessed with it. Ooh, coffee. Oh, how lovely she is. Oh, it's red my mark. It's bloody garbage. God. So yes, maybe that's it. Maybe it's just, they cannot get enough of it. But can you think, you know, when she was saying, I've got, it's such bollocks, isn't it? Excuse the language, but it really is. When she said when Fallon is saying to Kenton, oh, well, I've got to review my op. He said, what sort of thing are you looking for? And, you know, she's saying, oh, well, I've got to look up to a bit of research online before I can find somewhere. And it's got to be exactly the right sort of thing. And I was thinking, and you're miraculously going to find it four doors down from where she is. Isn't that a village that's got about 30 houses in it? How can you not, if there's an empty property or a suitable property, you're going to have won't passed it about a hundred million times. Oh, God, it's so silly. Anyway, I'll just try to work out who's shed or caravan or something. Is she going to convert into some potty tea room? I do think it is absolutely bonkers and nuts. And at best, it should be in felled for shim, shouldn't it? This tea shop, it makes no economic sense. It's been in an ambridge act. And this jacks was out of the way of this. Yes, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Sam Davies, he emailed us and said, now he didn't, he tweeted us actually and said, his prediction is that Tichinab will try to bribe someone to take the paternity test for him. How do you do that? We know we're not getting too kind of, because we don't know what time people may have just been eating rice pudding or something. So they might not want to hear this. But how does one do a paternity test? I don't know why I'm asking you as if you're some sort of expert. I'm not suggesting anything at all. I just wondered if you knew. You know what, if we ever do a late night version of Dum D Dum, I'll let you into a very funny, I let the listeners into a very funny kind of story in my life where I was, my name was mentioned in court documents to be the father of a blonde-haired blue-eyed boy. To say that these gentlemen was grasping at straws. It's been putting it in my old liquor. Oh god, every time I think it's the one thing that does creases me up. This happened like about five years ago. I got my scars. Are you sitting down right through a diamond? Yes. Your name's mentioned in a court document. I went, I beg your pardon. Yes, somebody says that you're the father of my child. I haven't seen or touched you in years woman. She says, I know. And he helped me a bit of a blonde-haired blue-eyed little cherub. Oh god yeah, so anyway, but that's a story for another time. For a paternity test, it's just any kind of, you know, it's not like you need to produce something into a little, you know, a specimen to a container. It's just a hair follicle or anything, isn't it? Any bit of you will do and they'll take the DNA from that. So how do they know that you're the person that you are pretending to be? Oh, I suppose. You know, you know, our, uh, a dumpedy-dumb resource of people that we... Philippa Devi is married to Sam Devi and Sam Devi is our 2000th follower on Twitter. Who wrote for Sam Devi? And he is the one who said that his prediction is a titular because he used to work for the child support agency. So what we needed to do, Sam, the man, Sam, is ring in and tell us what the process would be and how you could fiddle it. And therefore, how titular could get someone else to take the paternity for him? Can we do that? Yes, let's do that. Okay, excellent. Hey, all. This is Barb from Michigan. It's been a while since I've called in. I just wanted to let you know how worried I am about Fabrice of Felporsham. I don't know a lot about him. I don't know that he's ever been directly on Mike. But the impression I get is that he would not have taken it lightly when Rob stepped all over his ideas about wispy little, little wisps of, of hair around Helen's massive jawbone in favor of frumpy old, um, layers. Sorry, having a little bit of trouble expressing things today. But anyway, I think, and this is why I'm so excited, I'm afraid that Rob roughied him. And I am hoping that once he comes around, Rob is going to have a certain amount of reckoning to face from Fabrice. So love the podcast. Thanks a lot. By the way, I'm on medical retirement. I worked in insurance here in Michigan. So if you ever need information about insurance in Michigan, yeah, I'm, I'm your girl. So thank you. Bye. Bringing up the rare and the nicest possible way, we have Barb from Michigan. There was worried about Fabrice or fellowship. Because she thinks I liked it, which is said, we're about. Listen, I know I really shouldn't do this. I know I shouldn't. We know there was, as if you're about bringing up the rear. All right. Oh god. This is all well, well, well, it is because you know, obviously this is a show about the arches, primarily it's about the arches, but we talk about life, philosophy, culture. Who's freer have you brought up? I watched girls yesterday. Oh yes. Have you watched that? I am aware of it. I haven't. Have you seen the first episode of the new season? I am aware of it. I haven't watched it. Marnie's rear is being brought up in spectacular fashion. Right. That's all I'm going to say. Okay. Hi Barb from Michigan. We've now got to move on to you after that startling segue. Gonna need to go watch it now. Yes, I did like it then when she said about the wispy hair around Helen's massive jawbone like a donkey or something. Yes, I don't think Fabrice would take very kindly to Rob giving advice on or countermandating his advice is it'll be straighteners at dawn. They'll be waving curling tongues to teach them. Yes, but the whole thing was just hideous of Rob going into that flippin' hairdressers anyway, but yes, I could understand why that would rile poor Rob Fabrice and Barb works in insurance in Michigan. She's the second person we've got who's insurance person. We've got a lot of very cautious admin people. Have you noticed that? We haven't got any fighter pilots or, you know, bomb disposal experts. We've got people who like things in order. Not yet. But the chaos that we both operate in, we probably need nice people around us who operate in order to look after us because we're neurotic and needy or whatever it was that person said on the reviews. I'll tell you what that caught me to the quick that did. Anyway, listen, are we done with the calls now? We are. Oh, excellent. I'll tell you what, why don't we have a brief look? Why don't we meditate for about a minute? I've now got me stuck behind my head and I'm going to need some sort of mechanical outfit to actually unhook myself. So I'm not going to do this. Okay, breathe deeply and visualize. Fancy getting your mouth around something warm, something comforting you can really get a firm grip on. Why not buy a dumpty-dum mug from the shop at dumpty-dum.com? Those damn lovely. Right, Lucy. Yes. What are you? Top five. Hashtag. The archers. Tweets of the week. Moonbug 11 said, "This is the only UK village shop that is incorporated in the Cayman Islands and can report a lot of two million pounds on three boxes of vegetables." Sue Archer said, "This is because I tweeted on the afternoon play, it was about fighter pilots, it was about the Falklands War, and all of a sudden, Ed Grundy popped up in the middle of it. I said, "Oh, that said Grundy," and Sue Archer said, "They should announce names. So we know, for example, Rollo was played by the bloke who plays the gym off of the archers." And then Bob Hawkins saw the trail for the next day's episode of the archers, and it said, "A shock for Robin Helen." And he said, "A cardo accidentally delivers tuna." Dawn Oliver said, and I think this is something that's appealing to all of us, "I don't know which gets me laughing more. Rob thinking the law doesn't apply to him or all the juicy upcoming bankruptcies." Yes. Ed Kenton has got to stop this. He has got to stop spending the money. And tweeted the week. Oh, stop, stop, stop. Stop, stop. That's that. I know that people like you when I do that. They do. I haven't done it for a long time. Yeah. I always leave them wanting more of them. This is from Other Pete. He said, "There is a farmer debating on the today program with a proper Grundy accent. Every time they come back, I'm scared and have been recast." Listen, if we've done Twitter, we might as well nip over to the other bastion of social media, which is the book of Face, where we now have 574 likeers. So here is Minnie Bell with the other archers related. Facebook going on. Hello, dumpty dummas. This week we asked you the question. With it being that time of year, we like to look forward and we like to look back. We wondered what was the first storyline you could remember that came as a total shot. We started off with a few suggestions and there was a bit of a thing. We had people going quite far back. They remembered the barn burning down. A number of people said the first one that shopped to them was What Happened to Nigel and John's death for Pete Lambert was the first episode he heard while scouring the list's sheer airwaves looking for trip hop. So it was a shot a few weeks later for him to discover the archers actually wasn't just 13 minutes of sobbing every single episode. And then of course after that the Grundy ferret genocide was probably horrible because such of the sort of the earth character had been driven to it. These was an event that was supported by a number of you. The one that I remember and Diane Telford remembered was Kathy getting violated. Ben Hardy reminded us that Debbie had been beaten up quite graphically by Simon Pemberton and Janet Orty said that John's death was the biggest shot for her. It made me think about the fact that there seems to be on Facebook at the moment quite a lot of controversy about the current storylines and they're all a bit sensationalist but when you hear the memories that you guys came up with just when we asked that simple question actually it's always been a little more than just country life hasn't it? And that they're they do keep the drama driving they drive that drama for us really well and it made me think about the fact that I need to be just a little bit less judgmental and just enjoy the storylines as they happen. I hope the same thing happens for you and we'll have a new question for you this week. So scoop that to our Facebook page and I'll see you there. Hey I've enjoyed that. I think we're just about over loose but just remind you all that we have a shopping SHOB shop on our website where you can get arches, merch and all the cool kids have it you know so don't get left out go buy some stuff. Now we love you a lot big time and if you love us back there are many ways that you can show you can hit the donate button on our site and I will give a roll call. I said I'm gonna do it this week but one thing and another I haven't because it's been such a mega long show but I'm gonna do a roll call of people who have donated and also there is a way for you to sponsor a show. Look online for the details of that but hit the donate button and you can give us some cold hard mula cash wonger readies or you can go to patreon.com which is P-A-T-R-E-O-N search for a dumpty dump and you can donate two dollars a show which is about one pound 30 and so yeah so that's all good. Anything you know do that you don't have to do the show will always be free but if you want to show your appreciation that way cool wicked smashing super now news reviews reviews of news and I was getting all wrong and about face reviews news news reviews yes we have some oh yes by golly my gosh we have one from one bad land balari's bucket dust drift 51 and we mentioned this person before moose a 68 who says that Lucy and I are needy hmm but thank you for the very positive review music and from Canada land um me tea yes she sent us a review now in love of all things sweet and holy people keep those reviews coming because with them we get more listeners to the podcast and we want more listeners because we need it we need you like that we are we are the woody allen of podcasting both of us do you say woody allen yes i don't know if you can throw him in as a little line yeah that's true yeah no no no leave me out of that one okay yeah no yeah me too actually reversing yeah back that tractor up but remember you can also send there's a voice message if you want to get on the show folks uh because you are important you are the green in in that in our village uh so you can send a voice for a message via the site or you can call us on 0 2 0 3 0 3 1 3 1 0 5 from a normal regular phone to leave some message you can also ping us a regular text message if you like via our website or you can find us on the twitters where we are @dumbdumb or you can tweet me @reifields.r-o-i-f-i-e-l-d or me @lucyvfema so please please please keep those reviews coming because you want to be top of the podcast charts before can you hold these down to another carafe or vegan plonk i can hear voices behind you yes because um i think i've got poltergeists no what i what i've done is i have um found my way into into a room in someone's house and there's all manner of americans talking in the other room and yeah yeah yeah they they kind of like to do that these these yanks talk they talk they talk strongly they don't say much but they talk a whole awful lot yeah but and uh but you know what though i got a real sense that your call was very much in balance today spiritually and professionally and comedically you see really yeah yeah i thought you were present i thought you were right here and you were present that's because i've got seven crafts crafts of what though crafts of parrotabogan tea good good good well there you go it's our violin san francisco don't know what it was what you've said all manner of herbal infusions that every kind of like cafe you go to and then people are just smoking the green like there's no tomorrow you know just like this oh doesn't have anything done well this is the thing people here are just so incredibly chilled then it's not that kind of like in your face americana americanness that um you see on the movies people are chilled but they're not totally horizontal people actually quietly get stuff done in this town but they are slow you know well yeah true very true they smoke a lot of weed on street corners it is no problem and also they're professional but there's so many bars in this town so many i walking down the road in a hundred yard stretch this is not on any main street i walk past four bars and we're doing a roaring trade at like one o'clock in the morning as i was walking home and and again this was not in the center of town this is in like a quiet neighborhood and um but every but people aren't rolling around drunk there isn't that binge drinking culture we have you know people are drinking drinking sensibly and they can you know moderate their intake of alcohol and uh moderated while they're smoking their weed and still managed to have successful startup.com business is and they're a different breed apart here in in uh San Francisco and it's just they're very lovely in it it's a lovely town and it's ridiculously racially diverse as well yeah in a way that it's i i didn't quite kind of realize you know it's uh it's very um as they would call it Asian and white and black and you know it's a proper melting pot oh it's lovely lovely lovely lovely place lovely. Is it better than Birmingham? Oh well my hometown of Birmingham's getting a bit vivid. I know I was thinking about it earlier did you see the twitter thing? I did. Oh it was gee I love the fact that we respond to this aggression and this bullying and this you know just overwhelmingly vicious arrogance of these people with something like that. I love it. It has to be said that and people say all the time about Fox News it's obviously not about news and the reason why this guy was brought on is because he's entertaining yeah you know in inverted commerce this man is entertaining. He says things which are provocative and that's what they want they don't want anybody to be balanced and actually be informed and say oh you know 20% of the population of Birmingham is uh is a Muslim. That's it you know there are areas of Birmingham which have a high concentration of Muslims and uh but you know that means 80% isn't you know they don't want anybody going on Fox News coming out with facts what they want if somebody can go you know what then people go oh my gosh and it creates more viewers and there's no such thing as bad publicity so he's managed to entertain though to be fair I just heard him on PM and with Eddie Mayer and Eddie Mayer took him to pieces but he said I got it wrong I had my research I had my sources and Eddie Mayer says what were your sources tell us and he says I'm not going to tell you because um you know I'm taking it on the nose for this one I was the person who said what I said I've got to speak technically do anything else could he I know but but you know what he didn't have to take that call and he was very gracious he was very gracious in saying I got it spectacularly wrong I saw her on Twitter he said I'm really sorry Birmingham yeah and I'm an arse but all of the all of the pictures that people were throwing up in the light unit and the mecca bingo is just yeah and then the mad muslim cleric and it's Roy King with a big beard oh yeah the queen the queen when she comes to when she came to Birmingham she went in a headscarf and the queen's gonna burka well I like this lady I don't even think he got rich it is anywhere it just had a pot of jam with one of those floral jam covers on and said even I condiments have to wear he oh yeah well but it does it I when I first came to when I first came to the States it was 1996 and visited my grandfather in New Orleans and we were driving somewhere and I remember my grandad saying we need to go and get some groceries I forget what it was and we had to drive 20 miles to get something which is I thought was pretty basic and that's when I really realized that the size of America and we went over this bridge and I forget the name of the bridge and it's the longest bridge in the world or something it has some some accolade but we were listening to this radio show and this man said the president is a fraud fraud we should impeach him well and this guy banged on and you know what Lucy it was exciting oh then you don't get this in the UK this man is not sitting on the fence he's not saying on the one hand this but on the other hand that and it was exciting it was only years and years later I realized this was Rush Limbaugh I had no idea what I was listening to but I can completely see how you can get sucked into opinion entertainment yeah but you've got to realize that's what it is and there are so many people and I'm not just going to say in America but there's so many people who have a set of core beliefs and then just listen to people parrot those and then become more and more extreme by by notion by by degrees and you don't realize and that's where you end up with this guy saying Birmingham the city of Birmingham in the UK is a Muslim no-go zone you know non-Muslims don't go there yeah you know and I'm absolutely sure without listening to that news clip that news reporter did not pull him up about that because he's an expert and Fox News is not about being balanced it's about having an agenda and then getting people to in the most entertaining and frightening it's about rhetoric love isn't it it's just to scare you yeah you know this is what we believe and we're going to scare the Bejesus out of you but you're going to remember what's been said so they get this buffoon on it yeah and it's massive wazook but anyway but anyway I woke up to a barrage of Facebook posts and tweets of this nonsense and but yeah very very but very entertaining Fox Fox News brilliant brilliant brilliant if you just want to be ill-informed and to hate and end up hating your fellow man Lisa and watch Jack Fox Fox News August the 11th 1965 the bloodiest riot in 40 years of America's troubled racial history begins Los Angeles California the district called Watts 34 persons die 40 million dollars worth of property is destroyed almost four thousand are arrested the American Negro is now more certain than ever that the bloody experience of Vietnam is to end in a stalemate I have some very sad news for all of you and I think sad news for all of our fellow citizens and people who love peace all over the world and that is that Martin Luther King was shot and was killed tonight at Martin Luther King and Martin Luther King there have been some demonstrations at this early hour in downtown Chicago's Grant Park we heard a moment ago that tear gas has been used as the demonstrators are attempting to form a line of parade and Martin Luther Robert Prince Kennedy died at 144 a.m. today two six 1968 with Senator Kennedy the 1960s as we understand them didn't really start happening until about 1965 the framework and the foundation is laid of course much earlier but if you take a look at photographs of American people you can see a change in fashion style and the entire culture that occurs sometime between 1964 and 1967 listen to the first show exclusively on Mixcloud today and subscribe to us on iTunes beginning January the 18th from Washington to Obama 10 American presidents the new podcast from Royfield Brown let's talk about something that's not always top of mind but still really important life insurance why because it offers financial protection for your loved ones and can help them pay for things like a mortgage credit card debt it can even help fund an education and guess what life insurance is probably a lot more affordable than you think in fact most people think life insurance is three times more expensive than it is so with state farm life insurance you can protect your loved ones without breaking the bank not sure where to start state farm has over 19 000 local agents that can help you choose an option to fit your needs and budget get started today and contact a state farm agent or go to statefarm.com cue the fireplace and your favorite fall movie there's nothing better than a cozy evening at home with a class of first leaf wine first leaf is a personalized wine club that delivers right to your door sounds magical right they get to know your favorite tasting notes which varietals you enjoy and whether you prefer sweet or dry wines so in every shipment you get bottles tailored to your unique pallet go to try first leaf dot com slash fall to get your first six mines for just $44.95 with free shipping [BLANK_AUDIO]
Dum Tee Dum Episode 41 – loads of callerinerers
loads of callerinerers
The post Dum Tee Dum Episode 41 – loads of callerinerers appeared first on DumTeeDum.