778: Me Minus Me
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A quick warning - there are curse words that are unbeeped in today's episode of the show. If you prefer a beeped version, you can find that at our website, thisamericanlife.org. From WB Easy Chicago, it's this American Life. I'm Bimadeh One Me, sitting in for Ira Glass. Do you know what the square footage of your home is? Oh god, BIM! Ah, how could you ask me that you monster? I'm sorry. That's my friend Mona. Mona bought a house after saving for 10 years, and she has a lot of complicated feelings about that house. For the majority of her life, she's thought of herself as a person who doesn't have money. That's what makes her, her, no matter the actual reality. It's been that way since she was a kid. I went to a school and just up the street was another school that was a private school that was called bank crafts. And we all used to call it "wankrofts" because I think there was just this understanding that those rich kids would not like us, and they weren't like us because I think even when you're like 11 years old, you know that the future ahead of them is just smoother. It just has less friction in it, and I think we resented them even then for that. Fun fact, we went to an all girls school and they called us the Virgin Megastore. We're just all so pretty accurate, I would say. The Virgin Megastore. Yeah, so accurate. Children are so witty and horrible. I know, I know. Mona knows the price of everything in her house. She can't forget. The rugs from Ikea, the lamp she bought on sale, but still things was too expensive. Being able to afford a down payment and now a mortgage, it just doesn't match how Mona has always seen herself, or how she wants other people to see her. A few months after she moved in, she hosted a casual bachelorette party at the house for her childhood friend. The bridal party were all school friends she hadn't seen in ages, and Mona was feeling a little uncomfortable. Like, I'm really obsessed with cleanliness normally. And I kind of deliberately didn't tidy or clean for the few days before they came, which is so weird, just because I didn't want it to look too nice. So you were trying to look kind of like shabby chic? Not shabby chic, just shabby. She didn't clean or dust the mirrors, didn't jush up the cushions, didn't even vacuum for a couple of days beforehand. But despite that, to her horror. The first friend to arrive like, did this funny little sort of dance in my kitchen, where she was like, "Oh my God, it's just so big." They asked if they could have a tour of the house. And I kind of was just like, yeah, and then didn't do anything about it. But then the third time they asked, "I know all of my evasion tactics at this point." They were just like, "Mona, give us the fucking tour." So then I did, and I don't know, they were just like, "It's nice." And I was like, "Thanks." And it shouldn't be a big deal. But it is because I think it's, um... I just don't think I deserve it, I guess.
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