255: Our Holiday Gift-Giving Guide
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One week before Christmas, the Target store in Chicago's West Side, in the middle of the day, people are rolling shopping carts full of toys and games through the aisles. Teenagers and single people, parents from every income. And I don't really understand this, but if you talk to them, it's incredibly diverse group. There's one question that always seems to get exactly the same answer. Of all these things that you have in this basket, what do you think is the most likely to get returned? Actually, none of it. Not my stuff. No, I'd say no, not mine. Actually, I'm not war at all. Actually, I did a pretty good job. Majority of the other stuff that I'm buying is really for my kids, so they definitely ain't gonna return anything. So, not my stuff. Yeah, I made a list of what I was getting everyone in. Pretty confident in it. When I report the bravado, their confidence to the store manager, Lee Crum, this is his response. Well, the day after Christmas is the busiest day in refunds. So, I don't know how true that statement is, nobody ever returns my gifts. They just, you know, of course everybody has sunglasses and rubber noses on that day, you know, when they're returning stuff, so nobody sees them. It's really funny when the media's here the day after Christmas and they're filming the return center, everybody's kind of like, "Yeah, it's his face behind his arm." Nobody wants their picture taken. Like, criminals. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's up. If you haven't had at least one drama, one stumper, one gift that has been so difficult to figure out this year that you want to cry, then you are a very unusual person getting a very charmed life, my friend. And as proof, we offer you three stories today of Christmas and Christmas presents. From W.B. E.C. Chicago, It's This American Life, distributed by Public Radio International, I'm Ira Glass, our show in three gift wrapped little axe for you today. I'll tie it up pretty with a bow. Act one, make a joyful noise unto your mom, in which two sons try, once and for all, to give their mother a gift that she will actually enjoy. Act two, a Christmas memory, in that act, Mr. Truman Capote, recorded in 1959, sounding eerily reminiscent of her own, David Sedaris. Act three, Secret Santa, a very, very Secret Santa, stay with us. Act one, make a joyful noise unto your mom. It was one other thing that everyone at the Target store I talked to agreed on. And that is that parents are usually the hardest people to shop for. They have everything already, they want nothing, they're used to doing the giving themselves. In Toronto, Ian Brown has had it. I know, I know, deck the halls with boughs of holly 'tis the season to be jolly. Unfortunately, I keep having a certain conversation at this time of year with my 88-year-old mother. For a Christmas present, would you like a new pressure cooker? No, I've got a pressure cooker. Well, what about a sweater? I've got at least 20 sweaters. What about some jewelry? I had more jewelry than I shall ever wear. I don't like jewelry.
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