240: I’m In Charge Now
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Alex Meyer wants my job. He's 16, and he wants my job, but nobody's gonna give him my job, or really any job in radio. And so last year he decided to create his own radio show as a high school freshman in Seattle, and he did it with the kind of devotion and attention to detail of a true believer. It's kind of an amazing show, actually, starting with the opening, which he lifted from one of his radio heroes, Tom Lycus, who does a syndicated show out of Los Angeles. I was pretty much ripping off Lycus, 'cause he always, like, top of every hour, he plays a Metallica, Enter Sandman, and he has this big thing. They're all saying, "You know, live from Los Angeles, it's the time Lycus shows. I give or turn it into the time Lycus show." That holds my right-wing wack on a convicted felon. No, I'm your host. I'm about to give out the numbers and everything. So, you know, I was like, "Yeah, I want something like that. Yeah, that sounds good." That's my big thing, yeah. Hey, everybody! The Seattle Tomorrow Show, 1-800-421-ALEX, toll free! Yeah, that's free, 1-800-421-253. Which, actually, if you call that number, it's AT&T, and I ask you if you want it in Spanish. You know, I just, in Seattle, a lot of the radio station numbers start with 4-2-1, that's something I noticed, and put, "Oh, 4-2-1, but Alex, 1-800, that sounds good." Now, sometimes you have your friend Matt come on, and... Yeah, my quote producer, I just, I gave him that title, 'cause I needed a producer character to pretty much yell at. 'Cause he hear that a lot on the radio here, dysfunctional radio shows, so I figured out. He's pretty much just a character. Well, we have Matt the producer here to talk to you about this, actually. This is Matt's area of expertise, it's something that happened to him, his ex-girlfriend wanted him to go... She pretty much wanted him for the dance. It almost seems like she used him for the dance. That's what it seems like. And I'll tell you something. A while ago, she asked me to the next dance. Wow. And I was, see, I never really wanted to go with her. At first, I told her I was building houses for four people in Mexico, and therefore would not be able to make it. What's remarkable is that even though Alex is making the show in his room, on his dad's discarded cassette recorder, and even though the show never actually broadcasts anywhere, it sounds like a real commercial radio talk show. The pacing, the fact that Alex is closer to the mic than any of his guests, so he sounds clearer and louder. He has phone callers. Of course, since he's not broadcasting, Alex plays those himself. And I'm like, I have Dan from Eugene. Dan is kind of an irritating character. Yeah, he's... I had to have the guy who hated me. And he's that character. Yeah. So he always got every time he calls him, "Ouch, I hand your shot, you're sucked, I hand this Dan from Eugene." I love how part of the formula of having a fantasy radio show is that you have to a fantasy person who hates your guts. Well, it's kind of fun being someone that hates you, though. It is kind of fun. To make it sound as real as possible, Alex uses real commercials that he tapes off the radio. Sometimes he and Matt pretend to have a seven-second delay, like Howard Stern and the other big shows use. And someone has said a bad word, so what you hear is this sudden gap and jump in content, though, of course, it's just a cassette in his bedroom that's not a real broadcast. And, like any modern, ambitious talk show host, there are right-wing rants. That's just part of the formula. You know what makes no sense at all? A dollar bill. For me to pass high school, according to the state, I need to learn Spanish.
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