183: The Missing Parents Bureau
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Glenn's not being mean when he mentions his other family, the one back in Africa. He's only seven, and adopted, and black, living with Kate and her husband, who are white. - It comes up if he's punished, for instance. The best example I can think of is he's not allowed to cross the street by himself at seven. And he went over to a neighbor's house and then he came back by himself. And I kind of saw him do that. I knew he was looking, but I followed through. This is against the rules. And so when he came in the house, he was sent to his room and it's upstairs, and he sort of stomped up the stairs. I'm gonna leave, I'm out of here, I'm out of here. I'm going back to my family in Africa. I'm not in this family, because in Africa, he was a prince, you have to understand. (gentle music) And he's stomping up the stairs, and I sort of said to him, "They have rules in Africa." And he said, "Yeah, but they don't have roads in Africa, "and so I wouldn't be grounded in Africa." (gentle music) - Now, this departs from reality in a number of ways. Number one, of course, there are roads in Africa. Number two, Glenn wasn't adopted from Africa. He's not a prince. He was adopted from Chicago, which he knows very well. He has other parents who he could fantasize about, are the parents who he could actually meet? But he doesn't want that. - Not yet, I ask that many times, and I have offered to help him find them. He's not ready for that. - It's so interesting that it's not a desire for the actual parents, it's a desire for perfect parents. - Fantasy is pretty wonderful. If you were a prince in Africa, you wouldn't want to give it up either. (gentle music) (gentle music) - In 1908, Sigmund Freud wrote an article with a disturbing name, Family Romances, in which he pointed out how common it is for children to fantasize, at some point or another, that the parents that they live with are not the real parents. The real parents are out there, somewhere, and are perfect.
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