44: Poultry Slam 1996
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When Danielle's house, ever since she was a girl, when holiday dinners come, they serve a meal that will probably look familiar to you, picture, please. Main course, big platter, drumsticks, white breast meat, golden brown skin, stuffing and gravy and cranberry relish on the side. And then Danielle's family, they have a name for this meal. And she told me on the phone recently, the name for this meal is... Fish. Got that? Fish. Well, from WBE's East Chicago, it's his American life. Special program today, on the wonders of...fish. Alright, actually, we can say the word here. And the word is poultry. And as you probably know, each week in our program, we choose some theme, a variety of writers and performers and documentary producers to tackle that theme in this week, as we, all of us, stand in that... that magical five-week period, that magical interregnum between the turkey of Thanksgiving and the turkey of Christmas, that magical five weeks where Americans consume nearly a fourth of all the turkey we consume over the course of the year, sixty-seven million turkeys. So in this period, we bring you our annual poultry slam. Stories about turkeys, chickens, ducks, fowl of all kind, and their mysterious hold over us. Well, my red glass, coming up in this hour, Act 1, Ducky, Act 2, Turkey, Act 3. Ready to do David Sedaris. Act 4, South African Chicken Blood. And of course, of course, what poultry-positive program would be complete without... Act 4, Chicken Blood. Yes, indeed, in the late 1960s, the winged warrior chicken man struck terror in the hearts of evil doers on radios all across our great nation. And today, we are pleased to bring you the first new episode of Chicken Man since 1969. This is one of those things if you have heard Chicken Man, this needs new introduction, if you haven't, you are in for a big, big treat, big radio treat. It's later in the show. Stay with us. Act 1, Ducky. So in Daniel's family, the power of poultry is so great in their lives that when they serve chicken or turkey, they call it... Fish. That's right. And they call it that for a reason. And the reason has to do it with a stuffed hand puppet called Ducky. Now, Daniel is nearly 30 years old. Your sister Ashley is two years younger. And Ducky has been in the family since they were children. Well, he was a Christmas present. When Ashley was about eight and I was about ten. And when he first arrived, he was really fluffy. And he was this beautiful fluffy white duck. And he had a cape on, and black kind of villain slash hero goggles. He lost the outfit pretty quickly, and he went naked. And then he became Ashley's vehicle for torturing me. That's not unusual for older siblings to dominate younger ones. And his children, Daniel, dominated Ashley. As she looked up to Daniel, fought to get her attention and her approval. And Daniel always, always got her way. Except when Ducky was around. Basically, Ashley would channel. I mean, words kind of an anachronism in this context. But she would channel Ducky. She would become Ducky's voice. She would speak as Ducky. And Ducky was sarcastic. Ducky was selfish and bossy. Ducky would insult Daniel. Ducky would tease Daniel. Ducky would give her painful nose squeaks. Whatever Ashley kind of brought Ducky into the equation, he was completely the dominant force. Like, I was just putty in Ducky's hands. Let me ask you to compare his personality with Ashley's personality? Um, Ashley's very kind of considerate and she's very considerate and kind and thoughtful. And very, very sensitive to other people. Very, very concerned about if other people are happy. And if someone or someone else doesn't feel good. And Ducky has this total like, you know, what's for lunch attitude? Like, what's in it for me? In your face, totally out for himself.
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