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NYU Professor: Do This for 2 Weeks to Get Your Focus, Motivation, & Life Back

This is one of the most eye-opening conversations Mel has had on the podcast. Today, Dr. Jonathan Haidt joins Mel to explain what constant quick dopamine is doing to attention, motivation, confidence, and mental health - and why the impact looks very different in boys than it does in girls. This conversation could not be more timely. Meta recently agreed to a landmark $17.1 billion settlement in a major case accusing the company of endangering children by designing its platforms to be addictive to kids and teens. And, today, you’re going to hear from one of the experts, Dr. Haidt, whose groundbreaking research helped shape that case. Like Mel, you may have heard about how deeply social media has impacted girls - intensifying anxiety, social comparison, sexualization, and self-harm. But Dr. Haidt, a social psychologist, professor at NYU Stern, and author of the #1 New York Times bestseller The Anxious Generation, has a new warning: boys are being affected in a very different way. Stop and think about what boys have sitting in their pockets all day long: a video game arcade, an endless stream of short-form videos, sports betting, and instant access to pornography. Dr. Haidt says to think of it like this: Imagine a boy or man you love sitting at the bottom of an ocean while thousands of fishing hooks drop down around him. Every hook is baited with something engineered to grab his attention.  A new video. Another level. A shocking image. A notification. A chance to win. Over time, that constant stimulation can make ordinary life feel painfully slow. And this isn’t just about young people. If you have a son, brother, boyfriend, husband, or young man in your life who seems stuck, checked out, or like he’s lost his drive, you need to hear this conversation. Most importantly, Dr. Haid, gives you a way forward. He is here not only to educate you but also to share the specific changes you and the people you love can make - starting right now - to take back your attention, motivation, and focus. In this episode, you’ll learn: -Why young men can start withdrawing from school, friendships, dating, work, and real-world goals -What social media does to girls during puberty -Why shallow online connection is replacing deeper friendships -Why Dr. Haidt recommends no social media until 16 -The household rules he recommends for sleep, screens, and bedrooms -Why long-form stories are different from endless short-form content -How to help a struggling young man change without shaming him -Why small changes, social support, exercise, and real-world activities can help rebuild motivation -What research shows can happen after just one to two weeks of reducing social media use If you’re seeing someone you love lose motivation, withdraw, or struggle with social comparison or insecurity - or if you’re noticing any of this in yourself - this conversation could change everything. Anyone who follows the two-week protocol Dr. Haidt shares today can begin retraining their brain and improving their motivation and focus. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page.   If you liked the episode, check out this one next:  The Science of Self Control: Find Motivation, Build Willpower, and Increase Your Focus Connect with Mel:   Order Mel’s product, Pure Genius Protein Get Mel’s newsletter, packed with tools, coaching, and inspiration. Get Mel’s #1 bestselling book, The Let Them Theory  Watch the episodes on YouTube  Follow Mel on Instagram  The Mel Robbins Podcast Instagram  Mel's TikTok  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-free Disclaimer
Duration
1h 6m
Broadcast on
14 Sep 2026
Audio Format
other

This is one of the most eye-opening conversations Mel has had on the podcast.

Today, Dr. Jonathan Haidt joins Mel to explain what constant quick dopamine is doing to attention, motivation, confidence, and mental health - and why the impact looks very different in boys than it does in girls.

This conversation could not be more timely.

Meta recently agreed to a landmark $17.1 billion settlement in a major case accusing the company of endangering children by designing its platforms to be addictive to kids and teens. And, today, you’re going to hear from one of the experts, Dr. Haidt, whose groundbreaking research helped shape that case.

Like Mel, you may have heard about how deeply social media has impacted girls - intensifying anxiety, social comparison, sexualization, and self-harm.

But Dr. Haidt, a social psychologist, professor at NYU Stern, and author of the #1 New York Times bestseller The Anxious Generation, has a new warning: boys are being affected in a very different way.

Stop and think about what boys have sitting in their pockets all day long: a video game arcade, an endless stream of short-form videos, sports betting, and instant access to pornography.

Dr. Haidt says to think of it like this:

Imagine a boy or man you love sitting at the bottom of an ocean while thousands of fishing hooks drop down around him. Every hook is baited with something engineered to grab his attention.

A new video. Another level. A shocking image. A notification. A chance to win.

Over time, that constant stimulation can make ordinary life feel painfully slow.

And this isn’t just about young people.

If you have a son, brother, boyfriend, husband, or young man in your life who seems stuck, checked out, or like he’s lost his drive, you need to hear this conversation.

Most importantly, Dr. Haid, gives you a way forward. He is here not only to educate you but also to share the specific changes you and the people you love can make - starting right now - to take back your attention, motivation, and focus.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

-Why young men can start withdrawing from school, friendships, dating, work, and real-world goals

-What social media does to girls during puberty

-Why shallow online connection is replacing deeper friendships

-Why Dr. Haidt recommends no social media until 16

-The household rules he recommends for sleep, screens, and bedrooms

-Why long-form stories are different from endless short-form content

-How to help a struggling young man change without shaming him

-Why small changes, social support, exercise, and real-world activities can help rebuild motivation

-What research shows can happen after just one to two weeks of reducing social media use

If you’re seeing someone you love lose motivation, withdraw, or struggle with social comparison or insecurity - or if you’re noticing any of this in yourself - this conversation could change everything.

Anyone who follows the two-week protocol Dr. Haidt shares today can begin retraining their brain and improving their motivation and focus.

For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page.  

If you liked the episode, check out this one next:  The Science of Self Control: Find Motivation, Build Willpower, and Increase Your Focus

Connect with Mel:  


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Hey, it's your friend, Mal, and welcome to the Mal Robbins Podcast. I am so glad that you are here with me right now because today Dr. Jonathan Heit is in our studio. He is a professor at NYU Stern School of Business and the world's leading researcher on how social media and quick dopamine has devastated people's mental health. Because of Dr. Heit's research, Meta has agreed to pay up to $17.1 billion in damages due to the claims that Facebook and Instagram have harmed the mental health of kids, teenagers, and adults everywhere. Dr. Heit is here today to unpack his groundbreaking research that led to this landmark settlement. And he has a new warning about quick dopamine and social media and how it has impacted boys very differently than girls. Now, I'm a mom of three kids. We have two daughters and a 21-year-old son. And my husband and I knew about the research that connected social media, quick dopamine as a causal factor in the rise of anxiety, depression, and mental health issues in girls. But here's what we didn't know. We didn't know the devastating and very different impact that social media and quick dopamine has on a boy's brain. What you're about to learn will leave your jaw on the floor. And it will also connect the dots because once you learn it, it makes so much sense. Your son, your grandson, your brother, your nephew, your boyfriend, your spouse, they're not lazy. It's the short-form content, the gambling, the video games, the porn, all this quick dopamine is the cause of the boys and men in your life losing focus, confidence, motivation, and the drive to put themselves out there, to believe in themselves, to build the life that makes them happy. So if you're seeing a lack of motivation in someone you love, if you're watching him withdraw, this conversation could change everything. And the timing of you listening to this could not be more important. See, Dr. Hight and I sat down just a couple weeks ago before meta settled this case, before meta agreed to pay 17.1 billion dollars to settle these three-year long lawsuits, Dr. Hight is here today to educate you, not just about the heart, but to share very good news based on the research. There are specific changes you can make today that help you get your attention, motivation, your focus back. So if you or the people that you love stick with the simple plan that Dr. Hight's going to outline in this episode, your brain, your motivation, your whole life comes back. When I think of fall, I think of a couple things. I think of the first school drop-off, the first sweater weather day, the first chilly evening around the fire pit, and our sponsor, LL Bean. For over 100 years, LL Bean has been part of these traditions, crunching leaves and manemade bean boots, cheering from the sidelines and scotch plaid flannel, and walking the dog in a rugged field coat. Go grab the layers you love and the people you love and get outside. Visit LL Bean dot com to shop the fall collection. LL Bean, be an outsider. The Mel Robbins podcast is brought to you by Expedia. I love Expedia because I love traveling, and here's the thing. You may be holding off on booking a trip right now because you think you need the whole plan to come together. But guess what? You don't. With Expedia's bundle and save, the more you book, the more you can save. Get up to 30% off every time you add something, and then you add more later. Expedia, the one place you go to go places. Sign in to save on select bookings. The Mel Robbins podcast is proudly sponsored by Amica Insurance, our exclusive insurance partner. Now, maybe you're like me. Loyalty means something. At Amica, they believe lasting relationships are built the same way with loyalty, showing up for people again and again when they need you most. That's why customers stay with Amica three times longer. Trust takes time, and you can trust Amica to be there in the moments that matter. Visit amica.com and get a quote today. Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast. I am thrilled that you're here with me today. It's always an honor to be together. It's always an honor to spend time with you. But today in particular, wow, this is one heck of a conversation. If you're new, if somebody sent this to you, I just want to take a moment and personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins podcast family. The episode today is incredible because you and I are sitting down with Dr. Jonathan Hite, one of the most influential social psychologists of our time. He's one of the leading voices in

Transcription truncated.

This is one of the most eye-opening conversations Mel has had on the podcast. Today, Dr. Jonathan Haidt joins Mel to explain what constant quick dopamine is doing to attention, motivation, confidence, and mental health - and why the impact looks very different in boys than it does in girls. This conversation could not be more timely. Meta recently agreed to a landmark $17.1 billion settlement in a major case accusing the company of endangering children by designing its platforms to be addictive to kids and teens. And, today, you’re going to hear from one of the experts, Dr. Haidt, whose groundbreaking research helped shape that case. Like Mel, you may have heard about how deeply social media has impacted girls - intensifying anxiety, social comparison, sexualization, and self-harm. But Dr. Haidt, a social psychologist, professor at NYU Stern, and author of the #1 New York Times bestseller The Anxious Generation, has a new warning: boys are being affected in a very different way. Stop and think about what boys have sitting in their pockets all day long: a video game arcade, an endless stream of short-form videos, sports betting, and instant access to pornography. Dr. Haidt says to think of it like this: Imagine a boy or man you love sitting at the bottom of an ocean while thousands of fishing hooks drop down around him. Every hook is baited with something engineered to grab his attention.  A new video. Another level. A shocking image. A notification. A chance to win. Over time, that constant stimulation can make ordinary life feel painfully slow. And this isn’t just about young people. If you have a son, brother, boyfriend, husband, or young man in your life who seems stuck, checked out, or like he’s lost his drive, you need to hear this conversation. Most importantly, Dr. Haid, gives you a way forward. He is here not only to educate you but also to share the specific changes you and the people you love can make - starting right now - to take back your attention, motivation, and focus. In this episode, you’ll learn: -Why young men can start withdrawing from school, friendships, dating, work, and real-world goals -What social media does to girls during puberty -Why shallow online connection is replacing deeper friendships -Why Dr. Haidt recommends no social media until 16 -The household rules he recommends for sleep, screens, and bedrooms -Why long-form stories are different from endless short-form content -How to help a struggling young man change without shaming him -Why small changes, social support, exercise, and real-world activities can help rebuild motivation -What research shows can happen after just one to two weeks of reducing social media use If you’re seeing someone you love lose motivation, withdraw, or struggle with social comparison or insecurity - or if you’re noticing any of this in yourself - this conversation could change everything. Anyone who follows the two-week protocol Dr. Haidt shares today can begin retraining their brain and improving their motivation and focus. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page.   If you liked the episode, check out this one next:  The Science of Self Control: Find Motivation, Build Willpower, and Increase Your Focus Connect with Mel:   Order Mel’s product, Pure Genius Protein Get Mel’s newsletter, packed with tools, coaching, and inspiration. Get Mel’s #1 bestselling book, The Let Them Theory  Watch the episodes on YouTube  Follow Mel on Instagram  The Mel Robbins Podcast Instagram  Mel's TikTok  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-free Disclaimer