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The Mel Robbins Podcast

30 Years of Marriage: 3 Things About Relationships I Wish Someone Told Me Sooner

Today is Mel’s 30th wedding anniversary. And she couldn't think of a better way to celebrate than to have a sit down conversation with her husband Chris about the lessons they've learned along the way. This episode isn’t about the highlights – it’s talking about the hard lessons that have shaped their marriage these last 30 years. Mel and Chris unpack the years where they felt more like roommates than a married couple and the simple and they share stories from when stress got the best of them. They get into how resentment and bitterness created a distance that kept growing, and how they found their way back to each other. They talk about what they wish they knew sooner and the expert advice that has helped them the most. Mel and Chris also break down their relationship truths into small, actionable things you can do to make your relationship stronger today. In this episode, you’ll learn: -How to tell when stress has turned your partner from your favorite person into the person you blame. -Why resentment, criticism, silence, and shutdown can become a cycle that quietly pulls couples apart. -What “normal marital hatred” means and why your partner can trigger old wounds you have never fully dealt with. -How to soften during conflict instead of hardening, attacking, or retreating. -The simple rituals Mel and Chris use to rebuild connection, including notes, touch, walks, shared meals, and weekly calendar check-ins. -How to know whether your relationship has the foundation to grow with you through decades of change. Whether you are newly in love, decades into a marriage, going through a rough patch, or wondering if your relationship is going to make it through a rough season, this conversation will give you a more honest and useful way to think about lasting love. Because the truth is, a strong relationship isn't built by avoiding the hard seasons. It’s built by learning the lessons from them and finding your way back to each other when those seasons come. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page. If you liked the episode, you should check out these ones next, both of which were mentioned on the podcast: James Sexton: The Most Eye-Opening Conversation on Marriage & Love You Will Ever Hear (From #1 Divorce Lawyer) Terry Real: Married, Dating, or Single: The Best Relationship Advice You Will Ever Receive Mel also wants to tell you: Try the 23g protein shot I drink every single morning Join 2 million readers loving my weekly newsletter - full of tips, tools, and inspiration The Let Them Theory: read the book everyone’s talking about Watch the episodes on YouTube Connect with me on Instagram Follow the show’s Instagram for clips, behind the scenes, and more Find some daily positivity on my TikTok Want zero ads? Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-free Disclaimer
Duration
1h 11m
Broadcast on
24 Aug 2026
Audio Format
other

Today is Mel’s 30th wedding anniversary. And she couldn't think of a better way to celebrate than to have a sit down conversation with her husband Chris about the lessons they've learned along the way.

This episode isn’t about the highlights – it’s talking about the hard lessons that have shaped their marriage these last 30 years.

Mel and Chris unpack the years where they felt more like roommates than a married couple and they share stories from when stress got the best of them. 

They get into how resentment and bitterness created a distance that kept growing, and how they found their way back to each other.

They talk about what they wish they knew sooner and the expert advice that has helped them the most.

Mel and Chris also break down their relationship truths into small, actionable things you can do to make your relationship stronger today. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

-How to tell when stress has turned your partner from your favorite person into the person you blame.

-Why resentment, criticism, silence, and shutdown can become a cycle that quietly pulls couples apart.

-What “normal marital hatred” means and why your partner can trigger old wounds you have never fully dealt with.

-How to soften during conflict instead of hardening, attacking, or retreating.

-The simple rituals Mel and Chris use to rebuild connection, including notes, touch, walks, shared meals, and weekly calendar check-ins.

-How to know whether your relationship has the foundation to grow with you through decades of change.

Whether you are newly in love, decades into a marriage, going through a rough patch, or wondering if your relationship is going to make it through a rough season, this conversation will give you a more honest and useful way to think about lasting love. 

Because the truth is, a strong relationship isn't built by avoiding the hard seasons. It’s built by learning the lessons from them and finding your way back to each other when those seasons come. 

For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page. 

If you liked the episode, you should check out these ones next, both of which were mentioned on the podcast:

James Sexton: The Most Eye-Opening Conversation on Marriage & Love You Will Ever Hear (From #1 Divorce Lawyer)

Terry Real: Married, Dating, or Single: The Best Relationship Advice You Will Ever Receive

Mel also wants to tell you:

 


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Hey, it's your friend, Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am so excited to talk to you today because today we're doing something super cool. My husband, Christopher Robbins, is here in the house and we are reflecting on 30 years of marriage. I can't believe we've been together for over 30 years and it feels like this giant view of growing up, getting jobs, getting fired from jobs, raising kids, paying bills, getting into debt, getting out of debt, moving, fighting, struggling, making up, fighting with each other, growing apart, finding our way back to each other, trying to figure out how to love ourselves. Well, we're going to unpack this because through all the resentment, the struggles, the ups, the downs, you and I over the course of 30 years, oh, here we go, we already crying. That's a first that you're crying before me. We've always found our way back to each other. And so today, oh, God, he's crying too. Okay. I guess we're going to go to commercials quickly. Today, you and I are going to talk about the three lessons that we've learned the hard way. Lessons we wish somebody would have taught us decades ago that truly make your relationship meaningful and lasting. And so since I'm starting to cry, I think we better take a beat and then we'll start the episode. How do you feel? Feeling great. Thanks for having me on. I can't imagine who else I do my 30th wedding anniversary episode. I guess our couple's therapist. Thank God for him. When I think of fall, I think of a couple of things. I think of the first school drop off, the first sweater, weather day, the first chilly evening around the fire pit and our sponsor, LL Bean. For over a hundred years, LL Bean has been part of these traditions, crunching leaves and mane made bean boots, cheering from the sidelines and scotch plaid flannel, and walking the dog in a rugged field coat. Go grab the layers you love and the people you love and get outside. Visit LL Bean dot com to shop the fall collection LL Bean be an outsider. The Mel Robbins podcast is brought to you by Expedia. I love Expedia because I love traveling and here's the thing. You may be holding off and booking a trip right now because you think you need the whole plan to come together. But guess what? You don't. With Expedia's bundle and save, the more you book, the more you can save. Get up to 30% off every time you add something and then you add more later Expedia, the one place you go to go places. Sign in to save on select bookings. Mel Robbins podcast is proudly sponsored by Amika Insurance, our exclusive insurance partner. Every podcast listener has a story. The milestones you'll always remember, the traditions that have been passed down over the generations, the moments that make being a part of your family mean something. At Amika, they know the things that matter are worth protecting and showing up for those

Transcription truncated.

Today is Mel’s 30th wedding anniversary. And she couldn't think of a better way to celebrate than to have a sit down conversation with her husband Chris about the lessons they've learned along the way. This episode isn’t about the highlights – it’s talking about the hard lessons that have shaped their marriage these last 30 years. Mel and Chris unpack the years where they felt more like roommates than a married couple and the simple and they share stories from when stress got the best of them. They get into how resentment and bitterness created a distance that kept growing, and how they found their way back to each other. They talk about what they wish they knew sooner and the expert advice that has helped them the most. Mel and Chris also break down their relationship truths into small, actionable things you can do to make your relationship stronger today. In this episode, you’ll learn: -How to tell when stress has turned your partner from your favorite person into the person you blame. -Why resentment, criticism, silence, and shutdown can become a cycle that quietly pulls couples apart. -What “normal marital hatred” means and why your partner can trigger old wounds you have never fully dealt with. -How to soften during conflict instead of hardening, attacking, or retreating. -The simple rituals Mel and Chris use to rebuild connection, including notes, touch, walks, shared meals, and weekly calendar check-ins. -How to know whether your relationship has the foundation to grow with you through decades of change. Whether you are newly in love, decades into a marriage, going through a rough patch, or wondering if your relationship is going to make it through a rough season, this conversation will give you a more honest and useful way to think about lasting love. Because the truth is, a strong relationship isn't built by avoiding the hard seasons. It’s built by learning the lessons from them and finding your way back to each other when those seasons come. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page. If you liked the episode, you should check out these ones next, both of which were mentioned on the podcast: James Sexton: The Most Eye-Opening Conversation on Marriage & Love You Will Ever Hear (From #1 Divorce Lawyer) Terry Real: Married, Dating, or Single: The Best Relationship Advice You Will Ever Receive Mel also wants to tell you: Try the 23g protein shot I drink every single morning Join 2 million readers loving my weekly newsletter - full of tips, tools, and inspiration The Let Them Theory: read the book everyone’s talking about Watch the episodes on YouTube Connect with me on Instagram Follow the show’s Instagram for clips, behind the scenes, and more Find some daily positivity on my TikTok Want zero ads? Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-free Disclaimer