[Music] Welcome back to BSR, where the crew gets their friends to talk about stuff they couldn't get other people in our lives to chat with them about. This time, they're continuing their conversation about the 2006 film, Perfume, the story of a murderer, which features a supernaturally gifted homicidal goblin boy on a quest to capture French body stench. If that description doesn't make any sense, listen to the first part on the warm up and see if that helps. As usual, the crew is going to be making use of spoilers and profanity, so if you're not into that sort of thing, tap-stop before the music ends. And thanks for listening. The humans appreciate you. [Music] We kind of jump to, here is the life history of an Italian perfumer. Yep, and it just sort of shifts into that, again, in the book. As a chapter, it's all from the perfumer's perspective, and his looks on life. The whole book is just bagging on French culture from a German perspective really hard, and it's also kind of funny. Giuseppe is lament his lack of clients, and he used to be the best perfumer in the country. Was this Baldini? Was this Baldini? Yeah, Baldini. Sorry. There's actually a really, I dug through some of the critical response to this, and there is a dead line down the center between Dustin Hoffman killed this role, as a guy who cares about his reputation, but is really pragmatic and private. And then a lot of people that are like, "He phoned this in, and it's fucking dumb." I'm like, "Were you watching this movie?" I mean, he absolutely ate that role. Yeah, he's playing this perfumer who used to be the best he had all the clients or whatever. But there's these upstart perfumers that are coming out with things like, "I'm there and thank you." They start with he's dozing off at his shop counter because there's never any customers, and his one employee comes in, and it's like, "I brought you a sample of that perfume. Maybe you could try to figure it out." Why would I want that? And then moments later, he takes his own bottle out of his desk drawer because he's trying to copy it because he was like, "Okay, I'll just steal a set." He has a commission from a noble to make that butt better. So he has to figure it out. He's having trouble. Some trouble, yeah. Nailing down the notes of it, yeah, but he can't get it quite right. It's kind of depressing him, like that he's not doing this. Like his nose is what he used to be. So for unknown reasons or providence, Grinwheat gets to make it solo delivery, even though he wandered off on the first delivery, he was allowed to go on with a group. And was told that if he ever goes off again, he's on the kill. So he gets to make a solo delivery to the perfume place, yeah, both of his perfume place, he shows up and he's just like in shadows and then shows up in the middle of the night. I mean, honestly, it looks like a drug deal. Yeah. He's like, "Yes, master the whole time." Yeah. The other fucking, "Okay, so I guess the shit out of this." I do a little bit want to address that he calls everybody. He works for master immediately with absolutely no preamble in like a super creepy way. Yeah. It's like Igor. Even when he's straight up, we'll get to a second with him in Baldini. But when he's straight up being like, "But you suck and I'm amazing, master." Yeah, exactly. It's like this weird, still like that. Weird, still aspirational, almost worshipful way and it's just bizarre. Yeah. He brings these skins in, drops them off in the basement for Baldini. But the basement is where all the essential oils are stored. So Grinwheat is like, "Oh, you're trying to make these smell good, aren't you, master?" Well, yeah. What is it? You're trying to make- Well, you're trying to make- This exact perfume. Yeah, yeah. I can smell it all over you. I can smell it all over you. I can smell it all over you. And he's like, "Yeah, whatever." Again, book. He's like, "Okay, I'm falling out. I'm going to sell off my business and move to the countryside and it's going to be great." It's like, defined providence in my soul, like I'm finally going to retire and let someone who's passionate take over the business and then fucking Grinwheat shows up. Honestly, as an anime fan, I should have seen the death flags because whenever somebody talks about like, "Oh, I'm going to retire in like three days, you're about to die." Anyway. The lethal weapon thing. Yeah. I'm on my last day on the floor. I'm getting too old for that shit. So he comes in, he was like, "We'll need to make that for you." And he's like, "You know what, fuck it." Sure. He's like, "How much do you want to make a fucking gallon of this?" And he's like, "Fuck no." Make this. Those are expensive. So this is the part where- I understand how stupid it is to say this at any part of this movie. This is the part where I kind of lost track of what the fuck is going on. This is where it sort of elevates from- he has a really good sense of smell and is able to determine a lot of things with it to literal superpowers. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So he is in a perfumers laboratory with hundreds of glass stopper- they use glass because the smell does not escape that- And corks for most of it. But he identifies this perfume that he smelled a couple of places and it's like 12, 13, generally when they talk about it, whatever, it's like that many components. Yeah. It's just a buy smell without knowing what any of them are even called just pulls every ingredient of this perfume that you don't like. This is one of this one of this one of this one. Yeah. But it's not a very good perfume. Yeah. And then makes it on the spot with exact ratios with the right amount of alcohol by just pouring it now. Yes. And then shaking that bitch by hand. Yeah. Yeah. Just eyeballing all the pores. This is Baldini's going, "That's not how you do it. What the fuck?" Yeah. And like, it's just especially silly because there's absolutely no measurement and he's never worked with oil. The idea that he also smelled the exact combinatorial strength and he can smell the dilution level the alcohol would bring to it and all that is just fucking bananas. Yeah. And then when he's like, "But do you want it to be good?" I can make it good. And pulls like seven more goddamn bottles like, "Oh, put this on top of it." That's going to smell like dog shit because you put every oil on the planet in it. Uh-huh. No, no, no, no. And Baldini smells the first thing, he was like, "Oh my god, that's actually, that smells like the figure I'm trying to do." So he's like kind of stunned as God we he's mixing all the other stuff to make it a better perfume after he's like, "Hey, here, you want to smell this thing? You want to smell this thing master? You want to know?" And he's just like, "No, fuck you get out of here." No. Get the fuck out. And he was like, "Can I work for you?" And he was like, "I'll think about it." Yeah, whatever. I'll tell you tomorrow. Yeah. Let me go. It was like, just basically he was like, "Just, just get out of my head. Just get out of my head." Yeah. He was creeping me out, man. This was too much shit for a night I was already overwhelmed. Yes. Get the fuck out of my house. Paul Teany goes back to the basement. He was like, "You know what? I'm going to smell the thing. I'm not even going to pull the handkerchief out. They just-- He just-- He just threw it from the balls. Yeah. And like he goes to fucking paradise. It's serious, man. And he's in a garden in the open meadow at a girl walks past him. He's like, "He's like, it's all my life." I'm like, "I'll get back and you'll figure something." Uh-huh. He just goes through this and he's like, "Damn." [LAUGHTER] So he shows up with a tandery and he's like, "How much money is that boy?" Well, he's like, "I'll give you blah, blah, blah. I need some, like, some way to hold stuff." Yeah. Yeah. And the tandery is like, "Hey, hey, hey." He goes and gets fucking hammered. And then on his way home gets knocked in the over by a coach right into the river and fucking drown. By the count, three. Three. [LAUGHTER] Like, I don't-- it's not even just that everybody he departs from dies. It's instantaneous. Yeah. But like, if you think about it, every single time-- well, okay, maybe not every single time because it's not necessarily true with his mom. Every time that there was death, there was sort of a trans-- like, there was an exchange, right? Yeah. So like, again, except for the mom, when he got sold to the tandery, gone. So now, the tandery sold him now, gone. No loose ends. Yes. Bum, bum, bum. So like, every time-- Right. So like, this is the point that we tried to turn into it. He just brings death and destruction. Like, with the tandery dying, I determined that actually, he does not have blood in his veins. It's just all juicy curses. [LAUGHTER] Exactly. That's what sustained him when he should have been stillborn. For those about here, you're a little more sensitive than others. He means a Romani curse. That's worse. Yeah. Sorry. I think that's actually worse. Oh, fuck me. What is the thing now? I don't know. I mean, even if you're aiming for Roma, ascribing the weird curse culture to it, I think my-- Like, I'm not-- Let's just move on. Oh, okay, cool. I could be a lot more racist if I started being more Scottish. That everyone in France thinks are cursed. And they're not. They're people. But anyway, I don't know the way they keep getting shit on, they might be cursed. So let's see. So Baldini. Yeah. His shop is back in the green, making all these dirty people are coming in, smelling his shit, which is great for him. He's not giving credit to the actual creator of these things. Well, but the creator of these things doesn't give a shit. No. No. No. He just wants to speak right now. He wants to know how to preserve the smelling. He's just setting it for the free smells. And he's watching Jimmy Johnson's free smells, and he's like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." But he is laser focused on learning what all the smells in these things are. And teach me how to preserve them. Yeah, exactly. That is his life's goal. And he's teaching him how to do the scenting thing, which, in his case, you boil it kind of in the special thing. Oh, that's the-- Stilling it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the bass in it, and he's like, "You can do it." And he's like, "You can do it." And he's like, "You want to." And he's like, "Yeah." If you played any of your Morrowinds, you would know what a calcinator and an olympic are. Okay. Yeah, yeah. And, of course, what he's doing in this, all of a sudden, is just random shaking the house. And it's like, it does that from time to time. Don't worry about it. Foreshadowing. I know. That's how he was like, "Don't tell about that." Oh, my God, exactly when it happened. I was like, "Foreshadowing." What the fuck? Okay, I'm going to take too much time on this exact point. Uh-huh. What the fuck is happening to his house that's not happening to any other house on the bridge? He'd bridge that goes across people who used to build houses on that. Historically speaking. But that's where the store is, right? Yeah. It's the only building on the bridge that's in this house. That they're just doing for like, creative intent. But yeah, they used to build houses there. Several of them in this earth break or whatever fell into the lake and they were like, "We can never have this happen again." So they made everyone tear the houses off the bridge. That's historically a thing that happened. Anyway, look at that. It's not good. So they go through like the lessons of how you do, you know, like 10,000 roses to make one jar of oil or whatever. You have the head thing, which initially hits you. You have the body, which is the thing that stays along. And then you have the aftertastered, the tail or whatever that is like the thing that lingers for time. And then you have your four, your three chords that are four synths for notes. But the ancient Egyptians used to say that there was a 13th one for making it truly unique sense. Right. As soon as they said that, I was like, "Oh, people?" Yeah, it's people, right? It has to be people. I'm just going to say it's pussing. Also, like, as he's describing this and he's like, you know, why didn't they ever discover it? Oh, no. Okay. No. The lesson about how the chords work is just like perfume making. Yes. Yeah. The story about the Egyptians is that there's some ancient tomb that had a scent in a jar that when they opened it, like- Everyone was in paradise for a week or something? Yes. Twelve of the notes were identified, but the 13th was never understood. Well, why? I don't know. Because it's a dumb legend. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. Yeah. And he was like, "What's in the urban legend?" Or whatever. And I was like, "Oh, you never went to school." Like, "What's the legend?" Like, that's when it hit me. I was like, "Oh, shit." Oh, he's illiterate. Yeah. Yeah. Because like, he's holding the bottles up earlier. Actually, this is Styrax. And he looks at the label and is like, "Yeah, sure. What the fuck ever?" Yeah. Because he can't read. That's where it's, I think it's at its most gollum is "What's legend's master?" So at night, he goes home and dreams of the poor girl that he killed. And he was like, "I need to capture a scent with technology." So he just goes out collecting some bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Because he said, "You can use this. You can steal." Anything. Anything. Which I mean, is this sort of a dangerous thing to tell someone who is one illiterate and two has access to all your expensive laboratory equipment for perfuming? Visibly unstable. Yeah. Yes. We're talking back. No. We're talking about the guy. No. The movie. You're delightfully unstable. If you hide it, okay. It's fine. Thank you. We're not afraid of your unstable. Yeah. So he tries to distill the essence of all of these things. The copper iron glass. It rocks. And he gets super mad. The cat. And the cat. That was funny. That was not funny. Like, I did not expect. Oh shit. Actually, no. Whoa. I'm sorry. I think someone did something. Actually, he was trying to capture the scent of pussy. Yeah. That is true. Yeah. Good work. Good work. Yeah. I like this. But, um, this. So he's like smashing this. He's smashing things in the lab, expressing his anger. It was like, what in the living fuck are you doing to my lab? It's a really interesting turn for him, because he hasn't really had, aside from, you know, just smothering a woman to death. Mm-hmm. He kind of. Knuckles under to authority immediately. Yeah. His whole life. Uh-huh. And this was like the first lashing out against someone above him. And he's like, you lied to me. You said I could capture and he smelled it. And it was like, last doesn't smell. If you think about it. With the exception of if we're not counting the bunk in them on the head. This is really as violent as we see him get. Uh-huh. Truthfully. Yeah. Right. Right after this, he passes out and has like a nervous episode. Yeah, I don't know. It's like, because Baldini tells him that there are just since you can't. Capture. Capture. Yeah. And like, that has such a heavy effect on his psyche. Yeah. He just collapses. Whatever will to live he gained is a stillborn baby snipping shit. Yeah. Who just evaporates out of him. And Baldini gets all the doctors in the area to check this guy out, because this is his meal ticket. Yeah. He's been making the best smells ever. And he's just unconscionable. And he finally gets Baldini in the room and he was like, is there any other way? To capture sense. Giuseppe tells him about a technique of omphlyage that is only used in the city of Greece. It's close to a French accent as I've managed today. It's gross. I was about to say, I thought he said it was grass, but I didn't know how. It's called G-R-A-S-S-E. Yeah. Grasse. Grasse. Anyway, this information immediately helps. He's like, he's like, he looks like he has the plague. Yeah. I'll tell you, he turned around and looked like he was having the best day of his life. Yeah. After that news. Like that, he snapped a perfect health from Hantavirus. Yes. Yeah. So it was like before his health was sucked out of him and now he's sucking life back into him. He's got purpose in life. So he goes to travel to this promised land. You need to smell it. You need journeyman's papers. You don't need them. So Baldini, who is a master. He is. He's a great journeyman status, just gives him a trade that's like, give me 100 more formulas. 100 formulas. So I'm set for life. And then I don't need you anymore. Yeah. And you can do whatever you want and I'll give you whatever things you need. Exactly. So somebody makes a transaction for his leaving a station in life. So Baldini goes to bed. That night. Happy and joyful. And then he fucking falls in the lake. His house collapses. His wife, who is the only woman in France with larger than be cup tits. I was wondering that whole time if that was his wife or she too, because you never really see her. She's also kind of dressed like a maid half. Yeah. And so I was like, is he sleeping with the maid or is that his wife? It's his wife. But I'm building that based on the book. But it's his wife. The way she dresses and house, aside from her being in bed already, you only really see her like serving him things. Yeah. Yeah. Dips. It has no intention of going back now that he has his walking papers. Also death count is what for now. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Baldini's dead. Well, Baldini and his wife. Yeah. And whoever else was in that building. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] So he goes to the countryside and then his move improves as he realizes, hey, nothing has to smell like butt in the countryside. Yeah. So he's like experiencing air out here. Yeah. Yeah. Smell like-- Yeah. Now that he can like, legit touch grass. Yeah. He can breathe freely for the first time. Yeah. Uh-huh. This is like, fork in the road. It's a really weird thing to say that he can breathe freely for the first time in his life when he's been taking long tracks. Right. [LAUGHTER] And every fucking thing ever. Yeah. Uh-huh. So he has two options because there's a fork in the road. Either he can take the short road through the various towns along the way or he could go through the mountains. Which are pure, but would take longer. And that has made all the difference. Yeah. So he goes off and then hides out in a cave for a while because he goes in there's life. So I already have no problem. I already have no sentence here. I already have problems with him and his weird sentence superpowers. This is where I started being like, narrator, you're a filthy liar. Mm-hmm. Because it's like, oh, he found a place with no scent. Yeah. You can smell only dead stone. Mm-hmm. But it's like, you're in a cave in the mountains. There are so many bugs and animals everywhere around here. I can see the lichen in this room. Right. Yeah. And like, you are so filthy sweaty in there. Yes. Yeah. Take a bath. I mean, he does stand in the rain for a while. Yeah. But like, he's also like sitting there trying to smell himself. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, there is no way in hell that you don't smell like something. Like, rank. Right? He has not bathed since he left the perfume shop. There's probably a bunch of that all over him still. And in this, with the altitudes a little higher, it is comparatively less scent. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But he's smelling across mountain tops and, you know, pastures. Oh, he's smelling pastures. Like, if it's alibi. Yeah. Like, it dulls the sense of smell in a normal person. He's smelling across time and space. Yeah. Yeah. And he stays there for a number of years. It says seven in the book. And he spends all the time here. Is that what happened? Yeah. He grew up here. Yeah. I was like, what amount of time just passed here? So I wasn't sure if it was... He does look like visibly wilder and... Yeah. I was thinking like, months. Or not. I was not thinking years. They didn't convey the passage of time very well. They didn't want to dirty him up like that at least. He'd always dirty. I don't know what... I know. Yeah. So he goes from like his teens to his 20s probably. He's like clothes rot off of him. Yeah. And they're also saying he was basically eating roadkill and shit. Grabbing noots and worms and stuff to live on. I was shows sitting here and like, I was like, obviously he's living off something. But what is it? This isn't really where he's like this. It is just golem. The pure fucking cursed blood life force. Yeah. And he's fantasizing about drinking the sentence that he's stored over the years. And he keeps thinking about that girl from the market. Yeah. Like the girl from the market. The plum girl. I cannot get full of sense. Still drives him full. Yeah. No. So eventually he's like, I need to make my own scent to smell like something so I have a soul. But in this, he catches a whiff of a woman going by in a carriage and follows along after her. To cross. I think it's worth noting here that he is equating, not having a scent to not be. Being a person. Yes. And I don't think I realize that until obviously until this moment in the movie happened. Obviously I'm sure, you know, happened differently. It's also really interesting that the only life he values is his for most of the movie. Yeah. Yeah. He will struggle to survive against anything. He will live through any hardship. He does not give a fuck when anybody else. Anybody dies nearby or he kills them or whatever. So he follows Laura is the girl he's following all the way into town. Yeah. And then another redhead. Another redhead. The only other redhead in France. Into this like space age garden thing. I mean, for the time, it's still 1700s, but it's like so manicured. It's so like perfect, right? That labyrinth thing was. Yeah. Yeah. That was next level. It was like better than what happened in the shining of better labyrinth. Yeah. And I will say I found the movie online. The protagonist in the shining is a lot more put together. Yeah. So I was clicking through to see if I needed subtitles or whatever. And I ended up on this scene without any context whatsoever. And I just watched it. It was like, oh, he has like a romantic connection with this girl. Or he is at his second most golem like. Yeah. But without any context, the scene kind of reads as romantic. Like a Romeo and Juliet bounty. Yeah. Or like a siren or a berserk kind of. Even with him coming out like the shadows like that. Y'all done that. No, no, no. Just out of context. When I was just skipping through to figure out if I needed stuff. In context, this is unspeakably creepy. No. I'm going to go ahead and disagree respectively. Hey. I don't know what you come up with. That was hilarious of it. No. He's a fucking vampire guy. Nah. He can't get the scent of her out of his mind. And she picks a flower and put it on her mother's grave. Kind of gives you context and it gives you a reference for her last name. And her dad is like, look, come back inside. It's time for Alan Rickman. Alan Rickman. I'd love to see it. Rick's men. Rick's voice. Right? Yeah. So, really got this movie. They only offered that role to Alan Rickman. Oh, for real? Yeah. They personally offered the role too. I mean, I'm fine with that. Like he comes across as a harsh father that people would hate because he ends up slapping Laura at one point and he like apologizes like. No, I hate to say this. But his delivery and the way he plays that role, that is not Alan Rickman playing a character that is just Alan Rickman is in this movie as Alan Rickman, which I'm fine with. Yeah. I'd about to say he slapped her like, I don't say he should hit people, but she was kind of stupid. Yeah. Well, I mean, everybody was being stupid in town. That's true. He's just as enthralled with her smell as anyone else. Yeah. Later on. Anyway, we'll get there, but he gets more creepy in the book. Um, so. So the next day. We start working at a perfume shop and this thing where so he can learn all flow of the supervision of the droid. How do you? Everyone has that? I don't know. I can't remember her name. But this is where all the really super nerds that I hassle about this came through on the technique that they're showing off when they start showing the thing of like placing the flower petals into the pre-made panels of fat wasn't made for another hundred years. Well, okay. Maybe it was a secret technique of enthralled in grass. Yeah. That was not what a fuck ever. Yeah. Also to get a giant vat like that of pure glass would have not been possible at all to the size of that thing. But it's a movie and a lot of this would not work. Yeah. Yeah. So anyways, he starts working this and they're like, okay, so we use the fat to extract the oils from the flowers and you're slowly letting them die like they're drifting off to sleep. Yeah. And it doesn't spoil the smell. And then for a ton of flowers you get a tiny drop of essential oils. So at some point he gets this idea that, okay, if you do the fat and they're wrapping whatever you can get the scent, well, he tests from without his theory that you can extract scent this way. Right. The corner's a girl in a barn. Well, that's a different guy. That's before. Yeah. He really thinks that, oh, if you just put, because they're using the thing of putting the petals in that water and using that distracted. So he's like, what? Let me check that way. One of the field hands, like there's a girl that's working in the field, one of the field hands, well, they're harvesting the flowers is like too aggressively flirting and she's a little, Hey, I'm brand new here. Can you wait a minute off? Yeah. Maybe we can get to know each other before you go straight up my skirt. That'd be great. Yeah. Yeah. So like he corners her in a barn and gets too aggressive and she climbs up a ladder to be like, Hey, fuck off. So he follows up. She pushes the ladder down jokingly, but it hurts him and then he's like, well, fuck you bitch, you were pretty, any like, you know, standard internet dude rejection situation where it's like, well, you weren't even that hot fuck you. You're a slut because you won't sleep with me in storms off classic. Yeah. And then while she's calling for him to come back because she's now trapped in the halo off, creep show shows up and puts the ladder up and then just comes up and gets her. Yeah. And as she ends up in the like in the morning, there's a delivery of flowers. He makes girl kombucha like, yeah, so he gets her in the fucking tank. Sorry. I said that earlier. I wanted to make sure that line got back in. Yeah. Thanks. No problem. I was hoping to shuffle past that. But like there's a delivery of flowers. That's where we get to the part where she's like, Oh, is the mistress here? And he's just like, she's fucking right now. She can't talk to you. I mean, she's busy, but that is just what she was up to. She's busy. Well, like he takes a big sniff and then visually switches to her getting railed. Yeah. But for whatever reason, this flower delivery girl is like, you know, the nosiest motherfucker in the world. Like really, really has to tell his stuff. Yeah, for real. I know. I want to him to kill her just because she was so nosy. Like she's all up. Are you doing this? But I'm like, are you a cop? Don't touch none. And when he's like, don't touch anything, don't touch anything and she's like, Oh, this is covered. Let's just yank that bad. He has to be like, get the fuck out of my mouth. I mean, he went to grab something. So he was like, he got like a blackjack or something. But luckily they finished their business and luckily the asshole dude was a quick shot. It was like, what do you have this cover? And he was like, Oh, it's an experiment to preserve it because of the sunlight or some shit. And then he like smells the oil coming out of it. It was like, I don't smell anything. He was like, yeah, I know my experiment failed, but a little bit too much sincerity. Yeah. And I was like, damn, he ain't even lying. Yeah. I'm saying, you know, not about the flowers. I mean, obviously he's lying about flowers. So then, you know, if the new boiling technique doesn't work, still the dryler, the cold, the fat thing. Yeah. Yes. So that's his next step. Yeah. Also death count five. Yes. Sorry. I was very sick. Did I miss somebody? We got his mom. Yeah. You got the orphanage lady. You got the tanner. Uh huh. And then you got Baldini and his wife. Oh, okay. I wasn't counting the wife. My bad. Okay. So here's a hooker. And he's like, hey, how much is it for your services? And he was like, oh, so what do you want to do? And he was like, I'm going to put animal fat on you and she's like, I mean, she didn't say he was like, first she was like, all right, this is weird. Yeah. What's up? It's not the weirdest thing I've done. This feels gross. And he's just like, hold still. Yeah. And he like goes to wrap her hand. He was like, you can't tie me up. That's not a thing we do. And then he's just like hand out, like he's really weird jerky way of giving commands and he's like, don't panic. You'll spoil the scent. Yeah. At which point she's like, cool, I'm the fuck out of here. Here's your money. Well, not just that. She's cool with it until he prints out the fucking scraping knife. Yeah. It's like, uh, no, even then she's just, she's not threatened by him. She's like, she just turns her back to him. Like getting dressed. Yeah. And she has a dog too. Like that'll come up later, which makes sense that a person who was a hooker would have a dog because of something it's too violent or whatever the dog is going to bark. That dog is the size of a rant. I don't. Yeah. But it's going to make noise. You could thumb it before fingers. I mean, I guess it came in clutch eventually, but yeah. So after this, he covers her in fat. Not through the fuck out, right? Yeah. Covers her in fat soaked linens like a mummy. Yeah. Yeah. Cuts her hair off and then it's soaked that in fat separately and then strains all that out into a bucket and goes through the olympic process to extract the oil right. Yeah. It works. Oh my God. And the next morning they find an abandoned body on the street. He has the scent and he's distilling it and whatever and he's back in his shop and the person that owns the perfume shop, the lady tells the fuck boy to go in and be like, hey, you've grown me a hard time for what's going on here. He goes in, but he drops like one drop of the essence of this hooker on him and the guy and the guy goes straight from, hey, fuck, face. Why the fuck is this done? It's like, would you, would you please, would you be so kind as to handle that? Uh-huh. And it's just like, of course, the dude even seems confused why the fuck is being asked. Yeah. Why am I being nice to troll boy? So he goes back into town and just, and then, you know, what, while you call him troll boy, I want to point out that they maintain his creepiness level by giving him a pedo stash when he cleans up. Yeah, they do. So he goes back into town and worse, but worse facial hair you've ever seen Elijah would have dialed to 11. Yeah. The dog recognizes the scent and he's like, oh my God, this worked. I did it. I'm a genius. Actually got the essence of the woman. Yeah. So then it just devolves into a whole fucking shit show where he's wandering around gross, taking chicks. Yeah. And he puts the scent of the first lady in a bottle, the first bottle. He puts it, the first bottle of the, oh, the cord. Yeah. The little cord rack. This is premeditated. He's like, I need to do some collecting. Yeah. It starts grabbing people. The first two he grabbed was from the party, right? Yeah. So he goes to Laura's birthday party. He's a spy on her. Which happened? He didn't get in. He's in a lot places. It's like the first time he got into the garden, he climbed a tree over the wall. That's true. That's true. So he just, it's not worth examining how he breaks into places because he just silently and invisibly enters any building he fucking feels like. He can smell where your guards are and he can smell where the holes in the wall are and then somehow drags the hole without anybody seeing them. He can smell where there's a nearby body cart with tarps ready to go. Smell that you're lying to him. I don't. He's got the gift. Yeah. So he goes to this birthday party partially to kidnap Laura, but she's too fast. And this other douche bag just picks Laura up. Well, I mean, it's like courting her and she's not super into it and he's like, he is aggressive. Oh, yes. So John, we throws a rock and breaks a lamp and they're like, what? And then Laura runs. So we can't get her that time. But we get a beautiful suspense moment where more and more people are coming out of the maze from their little game for dinner and not Laura and not Laura and Alan Rickman's getting fucking right because he knows what the hell. Where is she? He's got some paranoia. Yeah. He's going to kidnap his girl. Laura comes out finally, but it's like, oh, we're the twins and she's like, oh, I haven't seen them since the game started. Grinch, I want to just like strictly stripping their set off. Go back to like two seconds that like his aggression, the nobleman, the twins, like shout out to those besties. Like, I know they didn't last that long, but like it was their idea when he was getting super fucking like, we got to make out right now. They were like, Hey, let's play party games. Yeah. And I was like, Oh my God. Yeah. But then they died. Yeah. They died for it. Yeah. He's just got like a full ass fucking hand cart and he's just toning them down the open straight. Yeah. Like a wheelbarrow. I know a lot of people are coming because he could smell that. Yeah. That's a thing for the whole movie, though, is like, how does nobody not notice this dude being as creepy as possible? Right. Right. And then 90% of the filming of this movie was cut. Go back. Creepier. Creepier. Even creepier. Let's throw some dirt on that. Somebody get in there and grime that up. Get in on that man. And then they show up into like meeting of all like just the nobleman of the area. Because he kidnapped some noble like twins or like somebody's like going across a bridge or whatever. They just get both of them or ass up. Yep. Make it in the river or whatever. And then he goes on this killing spree and they were like, we need to establish a curfew. And they were like, no, we'll just destroy all businesses. It was like, but what if it's your daughter next and they're like, fine. And then there's the church splinter being like, it's a demon though. We need the bishop. Right. Well, they're like imploring him to excommunicate, like whoever's doing the murders. And I was like, don't you need to know who it is for that to happen? And he suggested that I was like, did this illiterate fuck just mix up excommunication and exorcism? And then no, they really meant excommunication. I'm like, it's like one, he don't give a fuck to you. Yes. He can't read. So like he's not going to care. Like Al Grigman was the only person who was like, this is nothing to do with God. This guy. No. Also, like he cares at all. It's portrayed as him being the only person who really wants to solve this case and fix it. Yeah. It's way too into, we must get into the mind of the man because they're like, oh, he's doing bad. He's like, it's sexual. What is he doing? He's a cliff on neck. What do you think he's doing? And he goes, well, they're all found attacked. Except for the prostitute, they were all virgins. Yeah. Which makes me think he's asexual or something, which is also like the fucking about this is the fucking corner check. Yeah. Yeah. The corner. Of course, the corner check. First of all, how? Oh, you know. That is what I was like, how did you help? That's not. Okay. What kind of probe did you put in their corner? Yipe. I mean, don't, don't get me started on that. So anyway, um, more girls are coming in dead. People are getting paranoid. Yeah. People are jumping. They're shooting their service. Before anyone started like this is just like a madcap action sequence. It shortens as they go through more girls, but they do still have weirdly intimate slather them naked to cut their hair, carefully pull the scraping knife over their budding young breasts. Right. It's as nice of a way. Yeah. What? Again, dude. Those are the unsexiest naked hot chicks I've ever seen in my life. Well, wasn't that crazy? Find the show next week for the exciting conclusion and everyone's ratings. B.S. Reactor is recorded in the Midwestern United States, which currently has a high pollen count, but smells way better than Paris. All voices, music and mixing were put together by the reactor crew, all rights reserved. If you have any comments, questions, or fun tips on how to get the future robot overlords to smell things, contact the show on social media or our website, B.S.Reactor.com. Also, make sure to subscribe and tell a friend. The podcast numbers grow a little every week and it makes the humans smile. And thanks for listening, they appreciate you. the next video. Bye. the next video. the next video. the next video. (soft music) [BLANK_AUDIO]
