This American Life - 646: The Secret of My Death

Cryptic messages on a cell phone and a teeter-totter at a construction site: these are clues people found, trying to make sense of a death. (00:00:00) Prologue: Host Ira Glass talks to a guy about a crazy experiment he devised when he was a kid. It almost killed him. (5 minutes) (00:06:45) Act One: We begin with a woman whose sister has died. She has questions. Her name is Nadia Bowers, and she wrote this to someone she thinks might be of help. (17 minutes) (00:29:53) Act Two: There’s a problem with having a Facebook account after you’re dead that you’ve never, ever, ever thought about. Producer Stephanie Foo tells this story, about Dave Maher. (14 minutes) (00:45:49) Act Three: A guy goes to a funeral for someone he doesn’t know at all, and has to piece together everything about him. Producer Dana Chivvis reports. (16 minutes)

Duration: 1h 10m
Broadcast on: 13 Sep 2026
Audio Format: other

Hey, it's Ira, the quick word before the show starts. So I have this video that I want to show you. Maybe you heard because we did so many promos actually, that we just did this live show on stage in Los Angeles where I told stories and then Vic McCaillis and these really talented comedians did improvise scenes based on those stories on the spot. And we live streamed video of this show. And I'm just here to say that if you missed the live stream, you can now see the show. We have posted the video online, it's a really fun show. And to watch this, for absolutely free, sign up for a free trial this American life partner's subscription. And our hope is, you know, you'll stick around after the trial and you'll love all the bonus episodes and listening ad free and all the other stuff we give you plus we hope you'll like helping us make the show by sending us this money. But if you don't, if you just want the free trial, watch the video, try it out for a couple days, quit, no foul, fine with us. And I think you're really going to enjoy watching the show we did. Go to thisamericanlife.org/lifepartners and use the this is a very original promo code we came up with video. That's right. The promo code is video. That link is also in the show notes. Okay, here's this week's show. Support for this American life and the following message come from Capella University. You know that feeling when there's a spark building inside you that you were meant for more? That's your own drive pushing you towards what's next. Capella University gets that. With their flex path learning format, you can set the pace and earn your degree without putting life on pause. You've built experience and know what you're capable of. Now, this is your time to turn that momentum into more. The only real question is, what can't you do? Learn more at Capella.edu.

A quick warning, there are curse words that are unbeeped in today's episode of the show. If you prefer a beeped version, you can find that at our website, thisamericanlife.org. Graham grew up in a working class town north of England. And when he was 11 or 12, his family moved into one of the first houses in a new development that was being built and was kind of hitting the jackpot for him at that age. Because all around everywhere were homes under construction, which I remember this from construction sites in our neighborhood when I was a kid, was so incredibly fun. This became my new playground. This is Graham. So I would climb on the scaffolding, do a bit of amateur gymnastics, but also build stuff. And the big thing amongst us kids was lighting fires. And there was tall paper. It was one thing that burned very nicely. There's actually all kinds of trouble to get into, bricks and boards to play with, and what concrete to write in. They'd find food the workers left and cigarettes, which they would smoke. Once I found a porn magazine. And one day Graham was there alone, and he had this great idea.

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