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When we look at the people we love, how clearly do we really see them? This week, we talk with psychologist Edward Lemay about how our fears, desires, and insecurities can shape our perceptions of our partners — sometimes creating the very reality we expect. He explains how we can learn to see our partners in ways that create greater trust and connection. Then, Sonja Lyubomirsky answers your questions about the gap between being loved and feeling loved, in our latest installment of "Your Questions Answered."
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This is Hidden Brain, I'm Shankar Vedanta. In the 17th century novel Don Quixote, the hero and aging knight sets his site on a woman named Aldonza Lorenzo. To everyone else, Aldonza is a rough-hewn peasant woman, ordinary in everywhere. But when Don Quixote looks at her, he sees someone special, a radiant, elegant woman the embodiment of beauty and virtue. He speaks of her in exalted terms. He imagines her as the inspiration for his quests. He insists on her perfection. Even if reality offers little support for his views. He even bestows on her a graceful name that speaks to the sweetness of her character. We may mark Don Quixote's romantic delusions, but it turns out he might have the last laugh. Psychological research has begun to explore how our perceptions of other people can shape our relationships with them. That's true when it comes to widely inflated estimates, like Don Quixote's view of Don Kia, but it's also true when it comes to views that are harshly critical. They too shape our relationships with our neighbors, our co-workers, and our partners. This week on Hidden Brain, how our minds shape what we see, how those perceptions create reality and how to be a better partner. When it comes to my policy, farmers gives it to me straight, so there's no surprises. It's your coverage you should never be confused. You hear that, an insurance provider with a conscience. Straight forward coverage you can literally understand. That's what you get when you have farmers. Learn more at farmers.com, underwritten by farmers truck or fire insurance exchanges or affiliate products not available in every state. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Southern New Hampshire University. Science consistently tells us learning starts with motivation. That's why SNHU offers over 200 flexible, affordable online programs to help you get where you want to go. Take classes that spark your curiosity, shape your skill set, and prepare you for what's next. A degree can help move you forward no matter what motivates you. Start yours at snhu.edu/brain. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Defender. Even the boldest journey starts small, with a single decision to go somewhere new. The Defender 110 is a vehicle built for those moments for drivers capable of great things, whether they're headed toward uncharted territory or just a weekend away. The Defender 110 combines on-road presence with off-road capability. It looks tough because it is, with an exterior engineered for durability. Inside, capability meets comfort with seating for five and the option for seven plus refined finishes and thoughtful design. It's also packed with intuitive tech, like 3D surround cameras with clear-side ground view to help you navigate rough terrain, and the next-generation PIVI Pro infotainment system designed to keep you informed, connected, and in control, no matter the path. The Defender 110 is naturally capable, expedition ready, and built for those ready to move forward. Explore the Defender 110 at LandRoverUSA.com. Imagine that the person you love most in the world is standing right in front of you. What do you see? Are you taking in their distinctive qualities, their particular characteristics, or are you
