Hidden Brain - A Secret Source of Connection

We all have moments in our lives when we see someone who could use a helping hand. It could be a friend who recently went through a breakup, or an older person trying to load groceries into their car. We tell ourselves we should help, but then something stops us. This week, psychologist Amit Kumar helps us understand what keeps us from taking a moment to be kind, and how to overcome these barriers to create stronger, happier connections. Then, on Your Questions Answered, psychologist Gordon Flett returns to respond to listener comments about the importance of feeling that we matter.

Duration: 1h 34m
Broadcast on: 15 Jun 2026
Audio Format: other

Have you ever heard someone describe themselves as "left-brained" or "right-brained?" Don't miss Shankar's video breaking down one of the most pervasive — and incorrect — ideas from pop psychology.

Hidden Brain is back on the road this summer! Go to hiddenbrain.org/tour to find out where we're headed next.

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This is Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vaidantam. Early one morning in March 1964, a woman named Kitty Genovese was on her way home from the bar where she worked. She parked her car and was walking toward her apartment building when a man attacked and killed her. Over the years, Kitty Genovese's murder has been the focus of countless books, movies and psychology research papers. It drew attention not only because it was a grisly crime, but because it supposedly explained a deep flaw in human nature. The New York Times published an article that said dozens of people saw the murder or heard Kitty Genovese screaming for help, but no one intervened. When someone did call the police, it was too late. In the decades that followed, the case came to symbolize a psychological phenomenon known as the bystander effect. When lots of people see something is wrong, the theory goes, each person wrongly assumes someone else will step up to help. The net effect is that as the number of potential helpers increases, the number of people who actually help decreases. In recent years, psychologists and journalists have re-examined the facts of the Kitty Genovese story and walked back some of the claims. The Times has said that its initial reporting was flawed and exaggerated. I think the power of the Kitty Genovese story lies in the fact that in everyday life, we all notice that we are not as helpful and brave as we would like to be. We look away from people who are suffering. We cross the street to avoid an altercation. Even when the stakes are low for personal safety, we don't extend a hand to others who need help. This week on Hidden Brain, the curious psychology behind a phenomenon that is all around us and how understanding a quirk inside our minds can help us become the kind of people we admire.

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