No one will deny that marriage is hard. In fact, there’s evidence it’s getting even harder. This week on the show, we revisit a favorite episode about the history of marriage and how it has evolved over time. We talk with historian Stephanie Coontz and psychologist Eli Finkel, and explore ways we can improve our love lives — including by asking less of our partners. Then, on Your Questions Answered, psychologist Jonathan Adler answers your questions about the science of storytelling.
Duration
1h 46m
Broadcast on
13 Oct 2025
Audio Format
other
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No one will deny that marriage is hard. In fact, there’s evidence it’s getting even harder. This week on the show, we revisit a favorite episode about the history of marriage and how it has evolved over time. We talk with historian Stephanie Coontz and psychologist Eli Finkel, and explore ways we can improve our love lives — including by asking less of our partners. Then, on Your Questions Answered, psychologist Jonathan Adler answers your questions about the science of storytelling.
If you have follow-up questions or thoughts about these ideas, and you’d be willing to share them with the Hidden Brain audience, please record a voice memo on your phone. Then, email it to us at [email protected]. Use the subject line “marriage.” That email address again is [email protected].
The Hidden Brain tour is continuing, with our next stop just a few weeks away! Join us in Los Angeles on November 22, and stay tuned for more dates coming in 2026. For more info and tickets, head to hiddenbrain.org/tour.
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This is Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedanta. No matter how many weddings you've been to, it's hard to shake that contagious feeling of optimism. Couples pledge to love one another in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer. Family members dab tears from their eyes, agreeing that these two people are meant to be together forever. But so many marriages become unhappy. Some dissolve, some end in divorce. And even the successful ones are not without challenges. No one would deny that long-term relationships are hard. And in fact, there's evidence they're getting harder. Over the past few weeks, our Love 2.0 series has explored new ways to think about how we engage with romantic partners and spouses. We've talked about how to build new bonds with our significant others, how to strengthen the bonds we already have. We've looked at how we respond to our partner's most annoying habits, and how we can let go of our desire to change them. Today, we bring you a classic episode that many listeners have told us is one of their favorites. It's about the changing nature of marriage in the United States and other parts of the world. Lots of people argue that having these high expectations is problematic and it's harming the institution of marriage. And frankly, among the people who used to argue that, is myself. How our expectations of marriage have evolved and a paradoxical way to achieve more happiness in our relationships, this week on Hidden Brain. Support for Hidden Brain comes from principle, the perpetual pen-tapper, the arbitrary fredgery organizer, the holiday party planner that starts in May. Principal knows your star employees have their work quirks. Principal also knows how much those employees mean to your business. You need them, they need benefits. Work with principal so they can help you help your team with a retirement-head benefits plan that's right for them. Principal Life Insurance Company, Des Moines, Iowa. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Land Rover. Even the boldest journey starts small with a single decision to go somewhere new. Purpose-built and courage-driven, the Defender 110 combines on-road presence with off-road capability. It looks tough because it is with a raised hood and an exterior engineered for durability. Inside, capability meets comfort with seating for five and the option for seven plus refined finishes and thoughtful design. The Defender event is on now. Explore enhanced offers at LandroverUSA.com. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Progressive. Whoever says saving money is hard,
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No one will deny that marriage is hard. In fact, there’s evidence it’s getting even harder. This week on the show, we revisit a favorite episode about the history of marriage and how it has evolved over time. We talk with historian Stephanie Coontz and psychologist Eli Finkel, and explore ways we can improve our love lives — including by asking less of our partners. Then, on Your Questions Answered, psychologist Jonathan Adler answers your questions about the science of storytelling.
