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Hidden Brain

Winning the Battle Against Yourself

Many of us have been raised to believe that if we want to get something done, we just need to set our minds to it. Where there's a will, there's a way, right? Yet somehow we end up polishing off that pint of ice cream in the freezer, or spending more than our budget allows. It's almost as if we're not the ones in charge. This week, we talk with psychologist and neuroscientist Emily Falk about why our minds often conspire against our best interests, and how we can regain control.
Duration
55m
Broadcast on
08 Sep 2025
Audio Format
other

Many of us have been raised to believe that if we want to get something done, we just need to set our minds to it. Where there's a will, there's a way, right? Yet somehow we end up polishing off that pint of ice cream in the freezer, or spending more than our budget allows. It's almost as if we're not the ones in charge. This week, we talk with psychologist and neuroscientist Emily Falk about why our minds often conspire against our best interests, and how we can regain control. 

Do you have follow-up questions or thoughts for Emily Falk after listening to today’s conversation? If you’d be willing to share with the Hidden Brain audience, please record a voice memo on your phone and email it to us at [email protected]. Use the subject line “mental barriers.” Thanks!

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This is Hidden Brain, I'm Shankar Vedanta. In the fall of 1999, a new film debuted in just 25 theaters across the United States. Its name was "Being John Malkovich". The premise was outlandish. A down-on-his-luck puppeteer named Craig finds a small, hidden door at the office where he works. When he crawls inside, he goes through a strange portal and ends up inside the mind of the actor John Malkovich. For 15 minutes or so, he gets to inhabit the actor's body before being spit out on the side of the New Jersey turn-by. Things only get more wacky from there. Craig and a co-worker start charging people to go through the portal, and soon, plenty of people have had the experience of being John Malkovich. When John Malkovich, the real John Malkovich, inevitably learns about this, he is determined to go through the portal himself. When he does so, he enters a world where everyone has his face and can only say one word. The movie is thought-provoking and has long been one of my favorites. That might be because it is a metaphor for a central idea that we explore on this show. We like to think that we are in charge of our own minds. We decide what we are going to think and what we are going to do. We decide what to cook for dinner, where to go on vacation, and whom to marry. But it turns out that there are a vast number of unconscious mental processes that direct much of how we think and act. Often, we are unaware of these hidden puppeteers. They make us say and do things that we haven't consciously chosen ourselves. Sadly, there is no way to spit these puppeteers out on the side of the New Jersey turn-by. This week on Hidden Brain, why our minds often conspire against our best interests, and how we can regain some control over the puppet masters pulling at our strings. Working as a dedicated fidelity advisor, I always ask, "What's important to you?" I'll look at those priorities and goals alongside your full financial picture to build a comprehensive plan designed to help grow and protect your wealth. With proactive portfolio insights and an eye on taxes, I'm here to help you make the most of your money. I'm Laura Maxwell, and I'm a dedicated fidelity advisor. Learn more at fidelity.com/wealth. Investment minimum supply, Fidelity brokerage services, LLC, member, NYSE, SIPC. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Pacific Life Insurance. You make promises throughout your life. For nearly 160 years, Pacific Life has been helping you keep them by protecting those who matter most. Pacific Life, the power of a promise. Ask a financial professional how Pacific Life can help you create a more confident financial future. Pacific Life Insurance Company, Omaha, Nebraska, and in New York, Pacific Life and Inuity, Phoenix, Arizona.
Support for Hidden Brain comes from Land Rover. Even the boldest journey starts small with a single decision to go somewhere new. Purpose-built and courage-driven, the Defender 110 combines on-road presence with off-road capability. It looks tough because it is with a raised hood and an exterior engineered for durability. Inside, capability meets comfort with seating for five and the option for seven plus refined finishes and thoughtful design. The Defender event is on now. Explore enhanced offers at Land RoverUSA.com. Where there's a will, there's a way. Most of us have been raised to believe that if we want to get something done, we need only to set our minds to it. And yet something odd and discouraging often happens when we set out to lose weight or exercise more or save money. Somehow, we end up polishing off that pint of ice cream in the freezer or skipping our session at the gym or once again spending more than our budget allows. It's not what we set out to do, but it seems as if we are not the ones in charge. Emily Fock is a psychologist and neuroscientist at the University of Pennsylvania. She studies how we make choices and how we can initiate change in our lives. Emily Fock, welcome to Hidden Brain. Thank you so much for having me. Emily, I understand that you recently made a promise to yourself about what you would eat at a graduation ceremony that featured many desserts at the buffet. What was the promise you made to yourself?

Transcription truncated.

Many of us have been raised to believe that if we want to get something done, we just need to set our minds to it. Where there's a will, there's a way, right? Yet somehow we end up polishing off that pint of ice cream in the freezer, or spending more than our budget allows. It's almost as if we're not the ones in charge. This week, we talk with psychologist and neuroscientist Emily Falk about why our minds often conspire against our best interests, and how we can regain control.