Escaping Perfectionism
Perfectionism is everyone’s favorite flaw. It’s easy to assume that our push to be perfect is what leads to academic, athletic, and professional success. But how do we distinguish between high standards and unrealistic expectations? This week, we bring you a favorite conversation with psychologist Thomas Curran. He says perfectionism has a dark side, and that there are much healthier ways to strive for excellence. Then, we bring you the latest edition of our segment "Your Questions Answered." Sociologist Allison Pugh returns to the show to respond to listener questions about connective labor — the work of seeing another person, and having that person feel seen.
- Duration
- 1h 49m
- Broadcast on
- 01 Sep 2025
- Audio Format
- other
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Perfectionism is everyone’s favorite flaw. It’s easy to assume that our push to be perfect is what leads to academic, athletic, and professional success. But how do we distinguish between high standards and unrealistic expectations? This week, we bring you a favorite conversation with psychologist Thomas Curran. He says perfectionism has a dark side, and that there are much healthier ways to strive for excellence. Then, we bring you the latest edition of our segment "Your Questions Answered." Sociologist Allison Pugh returns to the show to respond to listener questions about connective labor — the work of seeing another person, and having that person feel seen.
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This is Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedanta. They're on our TVs, on our phones, and on highway billboards. Flawless, airbrushed images of beautiful people, living beautiful lives. Their complexions glow, their wealth seems effortless, and their children are always smiling. All of us are surrounded by these pictures of perfection, pictures that contrast all too starkly, with our own complicated, messy lives. Social media platforms exacerbate this. Friends post pictures of their idyllic vacations. Colleagues announce promotions. A lot of people use the hashtag #Blessed. Meanwhile, divorces, demotions and despair, or the challenges of making ends meet, these show up rarely, or not at all. What is the effect of the sharp contrast between the worlds we are shown, and the worlds we ourselves inhabit? We may remind ourselves that what we are seeing has been airbrushed and filtered, but the contrast still burrows into our unconscious minds. Some researchers have argued that this contrast produces in us nagging feelings of inferiority, shame and resentment. It causes us to feel we never have enough, and to reach endlessly for the next ring, the next achievement, the next milestone. The costs of chasing perfection, this week on Hidden Brain. [MUSIC] Working as a dedicated fidelity advisor, I always ask, what's important to you? I'll look at those priorities and goals alongside your full financial picture to build a comprehensive plan designed to help grow and protect your wealth. With proactive portfolio insights and an eye on taxes, I'm here to help you make the most of your money. I'm Laura Maxwell, and I'm a dedicated fidelity advisor. Learn more at fidelity.com/wealth. Investment minimum supply, Fidelity Brokerage Services, LLC, Member NYSE, SIPC. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Pacific Life Insurance. You make promises throughout your life. For nearly 160 years, Pacific Life has been helping you keep them by protecting those who matter most. Pacific Life, the power of a promise. Ask a financial professional how Pacific Life can help you create a more confident financial future. Pacific Life Insurance Company, Omaha, Nebraska, and in New York, Pacific Life and Inuity, Phoenix, Arizona. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Defender. Even the boldest journey starts small, with a single decision to go somewhere new. The Defender 110 is a vehicle built for those moments for drivers capable of great things, whether they're headed toward uncharted territory or just a weekend away. The Defender 110 combines on-road presence with off-road capability. It looks tough because it is, with an exterior engineered for durability. Inside, capability meets comfort, with seating for five and the option for seven, plus refined finishes and thoughtful design.
Transcription truncated.
Perfectionism is everyone’s favorite flaw. It’s easy to assume that our push to be perfect is what leads to academic, athletic, and professional success. But how do we distinguish between high standards and unrealistic expectations? This week, we bring you a favorite conversation with psychologist Thomas Curran. He says perfectionism has a dark side, and that there are much healthier ways to strive for excellence. Then, we bring you the latest edition of our segment "Your Questions Answered." Sociologist Allison Pugh returns to the show to respond to listener questions about connective labor — the work of seeing another person, and having that person feel seen.