Welcome in to the cool grandpa podcast. This is the podcast where we talk to grandfathers, adult grandchildren, and experts in areas of importance to grandfathers. Whether you're a new grandfather, a seasoned pro, or somebody interested in learning about relationships, this is the place for you. So come on in, join us as we learn together, laugh together, and support each other on the cool grandpa podcast. Hi, and welcome into the cool grandpa podcast. I'm excited to be joining you this week because I get to sit down with another children's book author, or co-author, I think. But this week we have Andre Renna is joining us to talk about his experience with being a very active grandparent with his two grandchildren. Now, he's not only active with his grandchildren, but he's also very active in their school. You see, Andre volunteers to be a reading mentor and a reading tutor to kids at his grandchildren's school. He also likes to sit around and have a good time with some of the kids when he's helping out in the cafeteria, getting them to kind of come out of their shells a little bit. And so it's interesting to hear his experience with just being an older guy, a mentor, if you will, with the younger children in elementary school about talking about sports and building up connections that sometimes those kids might be a little bit hesitant to open up with their other teachers with. Now, we're going to hear a great story about how he and his granddaughter came up with and wrote a fantastic children's book. So we've got all sorts of different stories, we've got all sorts of different and interesting ways that hopefully Andre can help inspire you to become active not only with your grandchildren, but also with their activities, right? Whether it's volunteering at school or volunteering to be a little late coach or a soccer coach or helping out in different ways that you can be there to enjoy the activities that your grandchildren enjoy, but also be there to help support the other kids in the community. I do want to let you know that we've had a little bit of an issue with the software that we used for recording this. You're going to hear a few different little echoes, you're going to hear a few different things, but the content and the conversation that we head with Andre is fantastic. So I hope you give me a little bit of patience with that. And before we get into the conversation, I want to remind you that I've got all sorts of different products for cool grandpas in the bookstore now. So I've got ball caps, I've got mouse pads, I've got tumblers, and I've got polo shirts. So go over to the bookstore at cool-grandpa.us. Check those things out and see if there isn't an item that would be absolutely fantastic for the cool grandpa in your life. So cool kids, without further ado, let's jump into this conversation with Andre. Hi Andre, welcome to the cool grandpa podcast. I'm excited to sit down with another children's author and discuss some of your work and and some of your experiences with being a grandfather. Appreciate it. Thank you for having me. Greg, I look forward to this conversation. As we get started with this, what I'd love for you to do is just briefly give us a little bit of a background as far as what you were doing professionally. Sure. I went to Syracuse University for my undergraduate work and then Penn State for my master's work and I was actually in manufacturing for 13 years. I work for companies like John Deere from Hershey Foods and Tyson and then moved on to the medical health care industry as an administrator. Too long a story how I got there and it basically was a health care administrator at the local hospital, which is a large health institution here in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. And I was part of the executive team for 21 years and then I moved from that to running the gastroenterology practices here in Lancaster area and actually merging the practices into one gigantic practice and then I moved on to my favorite job, which was helping my wife babysit my two grandchildren. So I'm a manufacturing guy engineered by background and wound up in the health care industry for 28, 29 years and then moved on. I actually retired a little early and we'll probably be made to that a little later. Yeah, I love those twists and turns. Our careers will sometimes take us. You know, it's interesting especially I was in the transportation industry and would come across all sorts of different folks that would end up running DCs for manufacturing facilities or whatever that their career passes started out one way and then they ended up doing something completely different. Yeah, it was it was a shock to being a shock to a lot of my friends and I wound up in health care. But I thought I would stay there for a couple of years and wound up 28, 29 years, something like that. What I'd love to do and what I asked all the grandfathers is take us back and let us know what your reaction was when you learned that you were going to become a grandfather for the first time kind of what was going on professionally and then you know the emotions and and what was happening with you. Sure, the emotion was let me see my grandchild, let me see my grandchild, let me see my grandchild and the way things are over when my son had his grand daughter and my granddaughter. A different back in the day. You remember the old days where the whole family came to the hospital, everybody was waiting outside the waiting room. Well, that's not the way necessarily that it is all the time now. It's more keep it to the keep it to the father, the mother, the child, and then at some point, at least here in this area, the grandparents get invited in to see the grandchild. Well, for an impatient Italian American from New York, that was brutal. So I had waited and my wife a long time for our first grandchild was we had our children pretty young and then our son had our grandchildren not old by today's standards, but you know, we thought we'd be really young grandparents, you know, in our early fifties and my first grandchild was born and I was already 61. So we were chomping at the bit and we were very excited and we finally got the as I call the approval to come into the hospital and meet my first grandchild, which was some girl named Aria. I got to the point where having been part of the health care administration team here, I actually was very close friends with the hospital executive and I said, "Look, if they don't invite me to see my grandchild soon, I'm gonna pull a favor and you're gonna have to let me in your hospital and see and see my grandchild." So I think that message finally made its way. People who know me all I've ever wanted to do is be a dad, then be a granddad. So it was amazing. You know, we finally got to meet Aria and then later on Aiden was one. It's amazing. I always love hearing these different stories about what was going on with folks when they found out for the first time they're going to become a grandparent and appreciate you sharing that with us. Well, you know, they have this reveal thing now. So you actually find out earlier, you find out the sex and it truly is a home another world. I know my son was born. We had no idea until the last second. So it builds, I guess it builds the anticipation. Yeah, it was interesting. So my oldest son and his wife, the first baby that came along, they found out the sex. They were telling everybody, "Hey, we're going to have a boy. This is awesome." The second time around, they asked, you know, to be surprised. So when they went in for ultrasounds and everything else, they were doing the whole, "Hey, just let us figure it out when it happens." Which is kind of an interesting thing. You know, I think there's there's some joy in that surprise because in your minds you can go either way. Oh, if it's a little girl, this is everything we're going to do. And if it's a little boy, here's everything we're going to do. And having that experience. So yeah, it's unique and I love how people do it differently. And if you're having multiples, then you can always mix it up a little bit depending on what's going on. Yeah, we had a little glace not to get too off. They're all the subject, but they decided the reveal was going to be a pinata. And I was going to be one a great pinata. Well, at 61, I didn't have the swing I had at 20. And I couldn't break the pinata to find out what this X was going to be. And I think finally my son got frustrated and started breaking it. So the next child, they just put a colored hat in a box to make it easy for me and my wife. Yes, it was embarrassing, quite frankly, but it was fun. Yeah, no, that sounds like I hadn't heard of doing kind of the pinata thing before that. That sounds like that would have been that would be fun with grandparents who are younger and in shape. Right, well, and maybe give you a heads up that they're doing the pinata so you can get to the batting cages a little bit. Yeah, or at least lift weights or something. I mean, I was pounding away and just my wife was like, come on, let's go. We want to know. I said, well, I'm going to give me a chainsaw because I can't get through this pinata. Anyway, it's a funny thing I remembered now as we're talking. It's all good stuff. Now, one of the things that I wanted to talk with you about too is you're in not a unique situation, but you're in a situation where you live pretty close to the grandchildren. And I'd love for you to be able to talk a little bit about how that experiences them because I'm a long distance grandfather. They're closest one, I think now is three, four hundred miles away, so we don't get over there all the time. Well, I can't imagine being a long distance grandparent could be perfectly honest. I feel for my friends, although on the flip side, they wouldn't have anything to compare it to by being a grandparent that's close. We're about 20, 15, 20 minutes from my son who has our two grandchildren. But you would think because of that, you know, you see them every day and you know, you saw them more when they were pre-school. Now, they're very busy. Now, they're all doing stuff. Now, they go to school till three o'clock. And I tell my friends who then get very annoyed with me because, you know, their grandchildren live four or five hours away. They say, well, the luck is trying the world. And I say, I know that. I count my blessings every day. For example, it's my birthday today, and my grandchildren will come over to see me after vacation Bibles too. A lot of people don't have that, so I count my blessings every day. But it's also the country, plus trading. Because I'll see my granddaughter and she'll say, you know, "Papa, I went to stable to ride the horse, which is seven minutes from my house. Where were you?" And you say, "Well, you know, we didn't know about it. It was, we would have come." So she don't quite understand why we're so close and we're not at things. But, you know, in understanding that my son and daughter-in-law, they don't want, you know, they want to have some time alone with their kids too for these things. So it's a balance. And sometimes it gets frustrating, and sometimes I might not see them for a week or two. And, again, in comparison to someone like yourself, for my friends, my college roommate is close to his grandchild, 10 hours away. And we both grew up the same way, so family is absolutely everything. I know it kills him, but it has its benefits. I can be available at the top of the hat. Something comes up. But, you know, it can have illustrations too, because you're so close. It's like, "There's the gold medal, you know, and you just barely made bronze." And so, obviously, I'm watching the Olympics. So, I wouldn't have it any other way. We live, though, have great. And always looking over our shoulder, because to my whatever reason, my children keep talking about moving away. And I can't even fathom that now, because I've been part of Aria's life for 10 years, and Hayden's for seven. And so, now I think that they would be away. You know, it's tough to wrap my head around. Hopefully, won't happen. I feel for people who have to, you know, plan to see their grandchildren and maybe get a a week written with them a year. That would be very difficult for me. Not that answers your question. No, it does. It gets to be tough with long distance. I'm very lucky. Both of my kids, ones in North Carolina, ones in Virginia, I'm in Atlanta. So, we're all the same time zone, we're all the, you know, within a day's drive of each other. But I'm in some of these long-distance parenting groups where you've got people that have grandkids over in Switzerland, and they live in the States, or they're in Dubai, or wherever. And to your point, they go see them for three weeks out of the year, and then they're not there. And technology's wonderful, but it's not the same as having the kids climb up on your lap and wanting you to read a book. Yeah, I cannot imagine, like I said, two grandchildren, eight and seven in Aria. It was two, three, ten. And I love them both nearly. Probably, I'll go into it later. Probably a little closer to Aria. We spent more time babysitting her when she was young. I actually left my job, so at the same time babysitting. And we're sort of like persons, personality-wise, and all that. So, like, if I see her, I saw her yesterday for an hour or two, and you know, she'd just tell me how her day was. And, you know, she'll say this, or I'd like, I'd like Bible College, Bible School, or I haven't seen you in a week. You know, I'm glad you're with us. We did some things. I can't imagine how you do that unless you Zoom every week or every couple of days with your distance, and you're right. There's nothing about, there's nothing, nothing comparable to that hug. I mean, it's an unconditional love hug. I voted for my sister. I don't know. Maybe if I never had that, you know, grain, then what's that say? You don't know what you're missing if you never had it, but I feel for some of my friends. You know, and I have cousins to see their grandchildren every day. I do literally every day. And, you know, that might be too much, too. I mean, the parents need some time with your kids, so I don't, I'm not advocating every day, but I don't know the long-distance thing would be very hard just trying to deal with it, but it knows to maybe face with it. Yeah, I think definitely while the kids are younger, it becomes very difficult because you do miss those. Maybe you're not there for the first steps, but maybe you're there on day two, day three of when they're walking away from the coffee table towards the couch or that sort of thing. But I also get a sneaky suspicion that once they become teenagers, they're not one, they're not wanting to be around mom and dad too much, and then, you know, other than seeing a baseball game or music recital or something else, like they're not wanting necessarily to hang out with Grandma and Grandma much either. Well, you know, we're seeing some of that, in a sense, with Arya, and but we're prepared for that, you know, Arya, you know, and she will say, well, I don't want to, I'm not going to combine today. I want to have a chance to play with my friend, and I always say, that's important, play with your friend. We'll see you another day. So we're prepared for that, you know, and I didn't want it to happen at nine years old, then you're old, but, you know, it's something we know is going to happen. It's not as much fun being in the pool anymore just with Papa and Gammie, you know, whereas when Arya and Aiden were younger, it was, we could spend four hours together, just the four of us, the three of us in the pool. Now, it's the first question I get, Arya, is did you invite anybody over? I keep telling them, I say, well, that's pretty hurtful, but we have a good relationship just last. So yes, it changed. I was fortunate. Some people say you got to spend time with them at the greatest time, you know, when they were zero to ten, whatever, and they'll start pulling away a little bit as they're so busy. Yeah, but it's those connections that you make between zero and ten that allow for that distance to develop during those teenage years to then, you know, come back as they start to get to be older teenagers and I think young 20s. When I talk to people, you know, and even as a parent, we kind of go through that too, is a little bit of, you know, the kids don't want to be around you. It's amazing that as parents, we could even tie our shoes, let alone go to a job. And then later teenage 20s, it's like, oh, hey, mom and dad might know a thing or two. Yeah, I know that somehow parents become stupid for about 20, 25 years, and then all of a sudden, they realize, maybe we know a little bit more. But we've experienced a little bit more, I don't know if we know a little bit of an experience. Yeah, I, you know, but we talk about it and, you know, like, I saw Arya and Aiden yesterday for a little bit and the running joke is always just me, okay, I'll see you in a million years. So what she's saying is, I'll see you when I see you and we laugh. I understand it's getting, it's getting last. Some of my volunteer work has mitigated some of that right now, but again, they'll be changing into middle school. So even when I'm doing this, a volunteer will probably end so when they move on, she moves on the middle school. I want to get into the volunteering at the school with Arya. When did you start that and what kind of volunteering are you doing at her school? I started it last December. So basically a full semester, so to speak, would have been January through the end of the school year that ended this past June. And it's interesting how it started. I mean, I did recall early, it was a lot of time raising, not raising, but spending time babysitting Aiden and Arya. And then as they started to go into school, my consulting dried up and the book was that I wrote with Arya, it was already out and marketed. I realized I had no hobbies. I realized I'm like a shell. My whole life was work in the kids and then the grandkids. And nothing really, I don't golf. I just don't have a whole lot of hobbies. And so it was my sister who sent me an ex-teacher. She said, you know, I'm spending time at my granddaughter's school just working the cafeteria, helping the kids out. She said, you know, I think girl, that would be exactly what you'd like to do. You'd be like being around Arya and Aiden and their friends. And I guess I'm childish enough that the kids get a kick out of me. So I called the school, I knew the principal on the side street costs of the book that we, Arya and I had written and read at the school, etc. And they said, no, we'd love to have you. What would you like to do? I said, well, I don't want to do field trips and things like that. I said, I can read. And I'm pretty good at math, although the new math, not so much. So if you need anybody to work with kids, so there was a second grade teacher that said, it'd be great to come in all days, and we can read with it and let them read to you. And that's what I've done two days a week. I go in and I read with second graders for an hour or so. And then I said, look, I can do more. And the high contacts asked me, well, look, we can use help in the cafeteria. And this way, you'll get to see your grandchildren, because I wouldn't see them in reading, because of the grades, the grade levels they were at. So I started working the cafeteria for an hour and a half, you know, they rotated classes. And I would get to see Aiden for a couple of minutes, because of the timing. And then I would get to see Arya as a purple 20-minute lunch. And I would help help kids to need things to open, or they need stones and stuff. But I also would sweep the floor constantly. So Arya introduced me to all her friends as my father, the janitor. So I realized that she had no concept of what I did for a living, because I basically retired from my executive position when she was two and a half. So my granddaughter only knows that her grandfather was a part-time janitor. She's nothing wrong with it. But I just found it kind of amusing. And that she would always ask me how much I get paid. And I say volunteer my time. And that would always see the conversation about volunteering and giving back to the community. So I do that. I hope to do it next year, again. And it's been amazing. The kids are amazing, getting to see my grandchildren you for a couple of minutes, twice a week. I know that they didn't enjoy seeing me there. But Arya, it's like some days I can't make it. And the next time I see her, she's like all upset that I didn't get there and was worried about me. So I encourage anybody. The stool can use our help. I'm actually going to sit down with them and talk more about what other things, other things, grandparents can do. And maybe you can try to orchestrate a group of grandparents to the stool. That's a long answer. But I think that's my hobby. So that's what I do. Well, that's awesome. It reminds me too of this group that I'm kind of connected with over in White Plains, New York called Grandpa's United. And some of the work that they do is provide mentoring ship to young kids in elementary and middle school that come from disadvantaged backgrounds. And what it is is like a grandpa goes in and starts to just go have lunch once a week at the cafeteria. And you kind of stay with that kid all through. So there's that consistency that that's there. And then they get to know kind of an older male role model that gets, you know, that that's interested in how school's going, how sports are going, how, you know, these things are going. And then they've got some other programs. But I'd love for you to talk a little bit about what's the process for a grandfather to get involved in school. Because I think sometimes, at least in my mind, in today's environment where we have to be careful about things, it feels like sometimes the hurdles to paperwork, the background checks, everything that you have to go through, it, you know, sometimes it almost feels like it's not worth it. But I'd love to get your insight on some of that process. Well, actually the process went pretty well for me. And yes, they had to do all the background checks and all that. Now, in my case, I've already had some of them done because I was part of my teaching at the high school, the college level here, one of our smaller colleges. So I needed a couple more checks. And actually this to this to Pennsylvania, this tool, this tools help you and actually pay for it. So you're going to fill in a couple of pieces of paper and it doesn't take much. I think more is the connectivity. If you, you know, if you go to your school district or however you're set up, we use tool districts here in Pennsylvania. And find out whether they have grandparent type volunteer groups or if it's just volunteerism. And just go in there and make a connection and say, I'm a grandparent. What can I do? Is there anything you need that I can help and offer your services to find out what they have now? I guess it's most just very probable that the schools don't have anything specifically grandparent. But still, you're obviously your grandparent or parent at one time. So you could be helpful. So I think if me, I'm not shy, so I didn't see anything on the website necessarily here to grandparenting and having some connectivity to the principal, I just call him up and said, what do you think? And he said, oh, I think it'd be great to have a grandparent involved, although I think they have others. And so we started with the reading, but I'll tell you, Greg, I was there for about a month. I went to the teacher and I said, look, these kids read better than I do. I'm not sure what I'm teaching them. And she said, it was interesting. She said, it's not about the teaching. Then I was puzzled. And she said, it's about the fact that there's another adult, an older adult that's interacting with them and asking them questions and talking to them. And they're not afraid of you. Most of them are just dealing with their parents. They hardly see their grandparents. She said, so you're having an impact when you realize it or not. And it goes way beyond the reading. And maybe I'm just naive or just slow-witted, but I wasn't thinking along those lines. And so that was very rewarding. I mean, when I left, I got 20 letters from the 20 kids. And they called me Mr. R, Mr. R. And you know, you're coming back next year. You really helped me. You were my friend. I mean, it was just short of tears in my eyes. And to be honest, I guess there was some. I realized that none of them said, thank you for helping me read. It was interesting. It was just interesting. So it's very rewarding. And the cafeteria, I'm basically the only male other than the full-time janitor. And he had time to do it. And I remember one of these teachers saying, I see you calling to that table of boys. I've been trying to talk to them all year. They just clam up. I said, well, I just went over there and saw that one of them was an Eagles fan. And I told them I was a Steelers fan. And the next thing I know, these kids every time I come in, they want to talk football. So maybe it's a guy guy thing? I don't know. I'm really not a student. I don't know what's happening, but it seems to be working. And so I think they need more of that. And I did reach out to those white planes people you have mentioned, well, do you know what I mean? They have lost. And I discussed a concept with the principal, but then the year ended and we didn't move on any further. So sorry for the long answer, but I think you can see the passion I had. My wife and my sister say, my gosh, you finally talked about something passionately other than that book, you and Aria put together, which was a whole passionate period in my life. I like it. I wish I could do more. You know, I think I'm used to the retired life though. So they say, well, you can come in as early as 730. And I say, I'm not even awake by 730. I love the kids, but they ain't getting set in 30. So so I had to work out or they were on my retired old man's schedule. So that's awesome. I do want to pivot over now and ask you about the book that you wrote with Aria, the surprise birthday party. And take us back to what the inspiration was for that and how you two started to write this book together. Well, Aria was the inspiration. In fact, on the book, it says right on the cover, I was the author and she's the she was the inspiration, although Aria pretty much introduces herself as the author, which is probably more true. One day while babysitting and her brother, Aidan, was taking his nap. In the good old days when Aidan used to take a nap. And I was out in the back, and I was pushing Ari on the swing, which is something we could do every time. And she says, well, I'll tell you a story. I'm having a surprise birthday party for my ducky, which is her toy that she's had since she's one and a half. Now she's about, actually, now she's about five. And as I'm pushing her on the swing, she's just talking, telling me this story. And it's going on and on. And unfortunately, every time she swung away from me, I couldn't hear what she was saying. So it took a little while to get through everything, but she's an extremely creative girl. And she had this story in her mind that was detailed down to what flavor punched she was going to serve at a party who was going to be there. In fact, it was going to be a surprise twist at the party. And that's why it's called a surprise. And I just went on and on. And so I made a mental note. I told my wife, do you even believe what Aria just told me? She told me a complete story with an ending that had a moral ending to it. And she said, well, you need to write that into a book. You're basically doing nothing. And so talk to Ari. And I said, Ava, if you make this a book, she thought that was great. And basically, it's her story. I think I wrote in less than two days because she gave me everything. So I guess technically she is the author. And then I went out and got an illustrator. And that's a whole lot of discussion and published a book. And it's been out there for a couple of years. It's sold. It's sold more than a few copies. I'll tell you that. And we do book readings together, we did. We're not so much now scheduled. We did book readings together. We donated books to the local pediatric unit. We've been on the local TV together with about six particles written. So we just had so much time together, the two of us. So it turned out to be probably one of the greatest experiences of my life. And for Aria, who was relatively quiet at that time, it almost turned her into a complete monster. So she is, it's helped her. I mean, I think she's more outgoing. And she's just a great gal. And she wants to write a second book. So we're talking about that. What advice would you have for grandpas that are wanting to write a book with their grandchildren? What are some of the lessons learned there? Well, I think it's an amazing experience. Think back to my grandfather who came from Italy. He would tell me stories about Italy. And I love that stuff. And I was going to make a book at it. I remember my father talking to my son, he was like being in the war, etc. So not sure what some of us grandfathers right now might have, that we could share like that. And so this idea, let's work on a book together, or let's work on something, some project together, I think full of void for me. And I was fortunate because it was something that Ari really wanted to do. I guess you can go up there and say, Hey, let's do it. Let's finally write a little story together. And we still write stories together, but they're not publishable. She's just that way. I think if you can get a trial, sit down and just talk to you about just tell you a story. And that's where it started. If they have stories in their minds, there's no doubt about it. And just let them let them go off on it. And then maybe fill in some gaps or ask them some questions. I think it's a wonderful thing. The other thing I'm a little off subject, I encourage people to do is to something I wish that I had had with my parents. And that is, you know, there's a million of these books out there. They call them memoirs, which make them sound really moody, toyy, but they're not. They're books that prompt you with questions, who was, you know, what was your favorite song? What was your favorite memory of growing up? Where did you grow up? I've completed a very large one. And, you know, it's something that, you know, when I move on, and like, if my grandchildren have any interest in what was their grandfather's lifelike, I mean, this book has it. So if you can get them on Amazon and you just, it takes a while. But I think that's another way to, you know, memorialize something. And with the book with Aria that we wrote, it wasn't a financial success. So to speak, it was, you know, it was an investment. But the time, as they say, is priceless. I can't even imagine anything that compares to that. Unless you coach, unless you coach them in a store, which I would also encourage you, parents are so damn busy these days. And I see when I go to my grandchildren's games, I see grandparents there. I see guys for women who look like grandparents that are doing the coaching. And to give us the parents is just so busy these days, it's unbelievable. So I would encourage you to sit down and story tell Ari and I are sorry and I are storytellers. I'm a storyteller. My staff used to tell me I never shut up. I always just tell them stories and Ari is a storyteller. We just put pencil in the paper. I hope I hope that answers the question. Oh, it does. That's great feedback. I want to ask you too. And it's something I also tend to ask to a lot of grandfathers. Are there any activities that you've done or are doing that really become a grandpa, granddaughter, grandpa, grandson kind of time? And that might be, you know, hey, we always go for an ice cream on Monday nights or something along those lines. It's harder to do because we don't have a regular schedule like we did. You know, a few years ago, it was always going to happen. It's Tuesday, Wednesday. So you can plan. Now it's like yesterday. I'll get a call at 12 o'clock. And you want the kids up after the Bible's tool and study a couple hours with them. Well, you know, yeah, but I'm not sure what we could do in a couple hours. With Ari, for sure, it was I'm going to the park and storytelling and talking and on the swings. She looked forward to that when she came here. The pool, we had a pool and during the summer, that's all Ari wants to do. We did and used to want to do so in the pool. With Aidan, it was more playing ball. I, you know, play catch, play baseball, things like that. They like to go to the movie. So we do try to do a movie every once in a while. And there were things in the house that we do up here, games that we play that are, you know, let's play monopoly or let's take them up with these crazy games. We're somehow on running around three levels and then exhausted. But it's something we do almost every time they call them. Although again, they're getting older. And those I told other people what interests them changed. So let's go outside the backyard. And I used to swing Ari for 45 minutes on the swing. Well, she then won us to 45 minutes for grandpa pushing on a swing. But so we have to try to find our place as a guest to my point. It is an iterative process. And we're still looking for some of those. What we're going to do. Yes, there are certain things that it's interesting. They'll say, well, we don't do that at your house. We do that at Nana's house. Well, we do that at Nama's house. We do this at your house. So the kids are astute enough to know there are certain things they do with certain. Those are the other two grandmas by the way. So they are starting to know that there are certain things that are teed up with certain grandparents. So they were here last week I cook. And my granddaughter said, Papa, you're not a cooker. You're the pool guy. I'm like, no, I can cook too. And so it's funny how their minds work. And you don't know that until they make comments that they do associate certain things with you. So surely answer is yes, the longer answer is it's evolving. Sure. I can tell when I can tell when they're bored, you know, and I'll say to Ari, you're getting pretty bored, aren't you? And she'll say, kind of. So she's pretty open. I said, well, let's do something. So that's awesome. Because it's also a good reminder to I think sometimes we've done it as parents, but then I think as grandparents, what the kids really love doing at five isn't the same connection point, isn't the same thing they love doing at seven. You know, the importance is a little bit of that one-on-one time that they have, whether it's shooting baskets, being on the swing, going fishing in the pond, whatever that might be. It's that it's the one-on-one time. And that's the greatest difficulty right now. And I have to be careful how I word this because I don't want to come out wrong. When we were watching them, we were able to spend time just with Aria or just with David. We were able to wear that out with the other grandparents. Now it's almost impossible. So when we do get to see the grandchildren, we see both of them. They have different likes, different personalities, but they both want your time. So you're a poll. And my wife and I talk about this all the time. We may have a half a day with them and we'll say, I don't think I got to talk to Aria for five minutes, or I don't think I got to play sit down and quiet within 10 minutes to constantly being bold. So if I had any advice for any grandparents or your parents, as hard as it is to say to one child, your sister's going to see the grandparents today, you go tomorrow and I know that's hard. It really is absolutely in my mind, in court, that you get the one-on-one time because you're constantly being bold and vying for time and who do you sit with? Grandchild A wants to watch this show. Grandchild B wants to watch this show, but they both want to be with Papa or with Gammy. And you can't be complacent and you're going to disappoint someone. So parents, just keep that in mind. It's not that they like one grandchild more than the other. It's hard when they both get you at the same time and they both want your time. I'm not sure either gets extremely bally. Does that make any sense? It makes sense. And that's one of the things I think even the research with teenagers and kids talk about is being able to have those different, let's see, intimate connection points, meaning just take. It's just me and mom, or it's just me and dad, or it's just that sort of connection is what's important. It's not necessarily the activity, but it's the individual attention in that space between the two people. Yeah, I suspect it's a great challenge to parents. I don't doubt that at all. But it's also something to keep in mind the grandparents, because that's how you build a relationship. That's why people who know me will say you seem closer to Arya than you do. She's older and we watched her and we had quality time with her before Aiden was even born. And so we did get to build that on our month. Didn't get as much time with Aiden, but whatever reason. So there was a longer history and a lot more connectivity. I mean, my wife or I couldn't even have to say anything to Arya and she doesn't we're thinking. Aiden brighter than half. He doesn't have that much of that kind of connection, because we didn't spend as much time trying to spend more time with him now, trying to play a little catch up. But yeah, that one on one time is, you don't even know what's happening and then that they were registering until later on. I agree with what I said the other day, you know, probably you came to everyone on my recitals, just out of the blue. And I thought, yeah, I know that, I guess. I didn't know that you knew that. And yeah, you know, and my grandson said to his teacher, Mike Hockle comes to all my baseball games. Who thought that he was keeping record? You know, I went because I want to see him in this game. So I can't underestimate those little guys. I'll tell you. That's awesome. Andrea, I've had you on for a little bit. Is there anything about the surprise birthday party or your relationship with your grandson and granddaughter that you would like to bring up that I haven't asked you? I don't think so. Again, I feel for those people who don't have connectivity to the cost of distance. That's just the way of the world. I mean, I love Brooklyn. And I actually feel bad for my grandparents who have been long gone that I, you know, my sister and I both moved out of Brooklyn and had the grandchildren. So they were distant grandparents. And I guess I would have never known what that was like until now. If you're interested in the book, you saw on Amazon, the best I have a place to get in this. So now I actually got to try to connect with me. And, you know, that's it. Just look for a second book that's coming. And to the grandparents, it's only on the resume, the importance you are you grandchildren. And the parents told on the resume, the importance of grandparents are to their children. How's that for an ending? That's awesome. Hey, if folks wanted to get in touch with you, learn more about this surprise birthday party or even follow you for that second book, what's the best way that they could do that? Well, at this point, unfortunately, the only way to do it is through an email. And I know a lot of people don't really prefer to do that. But I'm at A. W. Renah, A. W. R. E. N. N. A. Comcast. And Amazon just was not a good experience. And if you want to connect with me there, we can talk about the book. And I said, to get it through me like I can, I can sign it, I can have Aria sign it, I can have Debbie sign it, I can write a note to your grandchild. So, but as I said, for me, it wasn't about the selling of the books. It was about the process of producing a book and getting to know my granddaughter better and hopefully giving her some insight and certain things. And so it was, it was wonderful. Thank you for asking. Andre, it's just been a blast connecting with you and having this conversation. And I really appreciate your time today being on the cool grandpa podcast. So, thank you so much. Thank you for having me. I appreciate it. I really enjoyed having Andre on. It was great listening to his story about how his career has taken many different paths. It was great as a reminder that just because we start down one path in life doesn't mean that we're not going to have some twists and turns and some decisions that could end us up in a different path. And so I think that was just a good reminder to always stay flexible, keep our skills current, keep our skills are what we take with us wherever we go, whether we're helping kids learn how to read and become better readers in an elementary school, writing a children's book with our granddaughter, or managing a medical practice. Whatever it is, those skills and that wisdom that we accumulate, we always take with us and we can implement and we can use those wherever we go. So that was just a great reminder and something that stuck out to me. So I hope you enjoyed this conversation with Andre. I've got his email is in the show notes as well as a link over to Amazon. So you can check out the book. And I hope you guys order it, reach out to Andre and make sure that you get a copy of the surprise birthday party. And I know that you and your grandkids are going to enjoy it. I know I'm going to reach back out to Andre and order myself a copy for my grandkids. So hey, until next time, I want you to remember to stay cool. Thank you for listening to the cool grandpa podcast. If you've enjoyed this episode, please do me a favor and share it with a friend. That's the best way you can help us to expand our community, as well as get the news out about how valuable grandpas are in the lives of those kids. If you'd like to leave me a comment or shoot me a potential topic for this podcast, please go to www.cool-grandpa.us, look for the comments tab, fill it out, hit submit, it's as easy as that. Until next time, remember to stay cool. [Music]
