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The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk

596: Arthur Brooks - The Art & Science of Happiness, Defining Your Purpose, Working with Oprah, Living Authentically, and Building The Life You Want

Duration
1h 2m
Broadcast on
18 Aug 2024
Audio Format
other

Read our book, The Score That Matters https://amzn.to/3XxHi7p

Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com

Notes:

  • Arthur grew up with one goal - To be the world's greatest French horn player. He learned that striving for something was fungible across all fields of life. It was a great laboratory for learning.
  • Intrinsic vs Extrinsic motivation - Intrinsic motivation comes from an internal desire to accomplish a goal, while extrinsic motivation comes from external rewards and praise.
  • "Misery comes from excessive auto-focus." Misery comes from thinking about yourself too much and not enough about helping others.
  • The curse of the strive... All happiness comes from progress.
    • The arrival is not the goal.
  • How to be happy while striving:
    • Be grateful - Write it down. Do it daily.
    • Always look to help others.
  • "All research is 'me-search.'"
  • The Four Idols:
    • Money, Power, Pleasure, and Prestige/Fame. We talked through ours… What are yours?
  • The Four Focus areas to help with happiness
    • Faith
    • Family
    • Friendship
    • Serving Others
  • Define your purpose. Write it down. Understand why you're here. Mine = "To inspire others to value and pursue excellence." Too many people are ok with mediocrity. We should strive for more.
  • Oprah Winfrey is the same person everywhere she goes. She is genuine and authentic to all.
  • Arthur's column helped Oprah stay positive and happy through the pandemic. So much so that she called him and asked to meet. And eventually, write a book together. That book became a #1 best-seller.
  • #1 Life Hack: "Don't lie ever."
  • Arthur is jacked (in great shape).
    • Taking care of your body helps with unhappiness.
    • Wake up 1.5 hours before dawn. Work out hard. Lift weights. Do challenging cardio.
  • Life/Career Advice:
    • Don't worry too much about the first job out of college. Don't sacrifice relationships.
    • Bring love to every relationship and be great at what you do. Be excellent.
      • Emanate love and show excellence.
Striving and learning to be excellent and hard work and personal responsibility and discipline are completely fungible across all fields. All the things that I was doing were making me incredibly good at doing what I wanted to do, get me where I wanted to go and not make me happy. That was the problem. What are the habits of happy people? Though that's a big question. Getting less unhappy is different than the habits for getting more happy. All happiness comes from progress. That very little happiness comes from winning. It comes from progress toward a goal. These are the great secrets. When it comes to writing with Oprah, like how did that whole thing come about? I've learned so much from Oprah. I got to tell you, literally one of the five most famous people in the world and who has equanimity. The way to do that is to live a life that's impeccable in both public and private and then never lie to anybody. Don't lie ever. Don't lie.
Jim Collins told me on episode number 216 that the single greatest determining factor in my long-term success or failure would be my who, who I chose to surround myself with. That conversation has had a huge impact on how I've designed my business. One of the most important elements that I provide is my learning leaders circle. I open up applications one time per year and that time is now at learningleaderscircle.com is where you can apply. This is the most inefficient element of my business because I personally read every application and I personally choose who will go on to the next round and then who will ultimately be one of the 12 people to be in my next learning leader circle and I only do it one time per year and that time is now. If you are intentional about surrounding yourself with others who will push you, challenge you, make you think differently. If you're willing to self-reflect and do some work, this could be for you and you can apply at learningleaderscircle.com. We meet once per month on zoom and then we meet one time per year in person for our leadership retreat for members of my learning leaders circle. So if you'd like to apply, go to learningleaderscircle.com. Welcome to the learning leaders show presented by Insight Global. I am your host, Ryan Hawk. Thank you so much for being here. Tech Hawk through 66866 to become part of Mindful Monday. You along with tens of thousands of other learning leaders from all over the world will receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off. Right. You'll also receive details about how our book the score that matters will help you become a more effective leader. Tech Hawk to 66866. Now on to the night featured leader Arthur Brooks teaches courses on leadership and happiness at Harvard Business School. He's a columnist at the Atlantic where he writes the popular "how to build a life" column. He's also the author of 13 books including a couple number one New York Times bestsellers. One with Oprah Winfrey called "Build the Life You Want" in the art and science of getting happier. He also wrote from strength to strength, finding success, happiness, and deep purpose in the second half of life. During this conversation we discuss the habits of the happiest people in the world. Then he talks about the four idols which are Money, Power, Pleasure, and Prestige/Fame. We talk through what my idol and anti-idle are as well as hiss and then he shares how you can figure out what yours are. Then our author shares the story of Oprah Winfrey calling him asking to meet with them and then eventually asked him to write a book together. Absolutely wild. Ladies and gentlemen I think you're really gonna enjoy this wide ranging conversation with the great Arthur Brooks. Arthur it's great to have you here on The Learning Leaders Show. Welcome. Thank you. Been looking forward to it Ryan. So you grew up with one goal. One goal and that was to be the world's greatest French horn player. What did you learn from your time growing up striving to be the greatest in the world at something? That striving and learning to be excellent and hard work and personal responsibility and discipline are completely fungible across all fields. I thought I was learning to be the world's greatest French horn player. I did not achieve that. What I was setting myself up to do was to succeed and the other things that I tried. That's because it's a laboratory of learning how to be your best self and you can practically choose what the specific application of those skills is at any particular time. But once you learn about that kind of discipline and drive and hard work man you can deploy it all over the place. I had no idea but I'm sure I'm glad I did it.

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