The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk
549: Dr. Sara Kuburic - Take Ownership, Accept Hard Truths, Discover Your SELF, & Change Your Life (It's On Me)
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Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com
Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12 https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12
- Change happens when we feel empowered. It's on us to take responsibility for our lives and help others take responsibility for theirs. As leaders, change is more likely to happen for the people we are serving if we help them feel empowered.
- Listening is not a passive activity. Take it seriously. It starts with genuinely caring for the person you're in conversation with.
- "Being disliked is a rite of passage." Being disliked is normal. Being uncomfortable about being disliked is also normal. Reminding your Self that how you feel about your Self matters more than how others feel about you is key.
- Sense of self – "Sense of self is not something that is found… We create our sense of self…"
- "My interest in psychology stems from my personal experience living through wars, navigating complex relationships, and continually learning what it means to be human."
- This book is about facing ourselves –whatever version that might be, regardless of whether or not we like the person we see reflected back to us. It's about what's possible once we realize that we are responsible for who we become and how we live our lives (a daunting, but profoundly liberating idea). IT'S ON US to figure out the two most essential questions: "Who am I" and "Why am I here?" and then live accordingly.
- "I am thankful for my struggle because, without it, I wouldn't have stumbled across my strength."
- Repeat out loud: "I will stop giving second chances to people who don't want it, won't use it, or don't deserve it."
- "The deepest form of loneliness comes from being estranged from ourselves, not from others."
- "Comparison doesn't just steal our joy, it also screws with our perspective."
- "Mistakes don't have to define you. But what you choose to do after a mistake often does."
- "Just a gentle reminder: The worst-case scenario that you're playing out in your head is probably not going to happen."
- "Don't confuse the snippets you get to see of someone's life (through media or a casual conversation) as their whole story. Give each other the courtesy of curiosity. Allow people to be undefined in your mind. Actively seek to see them, and allow them to show you who they are."
- "If you don't have all the information, stop filling in the blanks with your imagination, fears or projections. It's better to learn to sit with an unclear picture than to carry around an inaccurate one."
- "Instant gratification can be a form of self-harm."
- "If you're doing the work, you deserve to be with someone who is also doing the work. It's simple."
- "Relationship tip: When someone tells you what they want (or don't want) through words or actions — listen. Stop assuming you know better than they do. It's not your job to read their mind, anticipate their needs, or save them."
(upbeat music) Welcome to The Learning Leader Show presented by Insight Global. I am your host, Ryan Hawk. Thank you so much for being here. Text Hawk 266866 to become part of Mindful Monday. You, along with tens of thousands of other learning leaders from all over the world, will receive a carefully curated email for me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right. You'll also receive details about how my book, The Pursuit of Excellence, will help you become a more effective leader, text Hawk 266866. Now, on to tonight's featured leaders, the great one. Dr. Sarah Kubrick is an existential psychotherapist. He's a consultant and a columnist for the USA Today, and she is the person behind the popular Instagram page at Millennial Therapist. She's also the author of a great new book, Call. It's on me, accept hard truths. Discover yourself and change your life. During this conversation, we discuss the common reasons people avoid taking responsibility. Then Sarah shares how to use visualization to be a better leader. And we talked about the impact surviving two wars by the age of nine had on Sarah. And at the end, I asked her how we all, and if we all could benefit from therapy. This is a conversation unlike any I've ever had on The Learning Leaders Show. Ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy the great Sarah Kubrick. - Sarah, it is great to have you here on The Learning Leaders Show. Welcome. - Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited. - So by the age of nine, you have experienced two wars. That is quite an upbringing. Where were you? What had happened in your life? I just love to learn about some of the earlier parts of your upbringing. - Yeah. So I was born in Bosnia right before the war and my whole family was living there. And then once the war started, they tried to stick around and that was kind of impossible. It was incredibly unsafe. And so then they kind of moved to Serbia.
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