The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk - 395: Dr. Marisa Porges - How To Raise Bold, Courageous, & Resilient Women

Duration: 1h 0m
Broadcast on: 06 Dec 2020
Audio Format: other

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Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com

Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12

Ep #395: Dr. Marisa Porges

Notes:

Keys to a good coffee meeting with someone:
- Be early
- Find a quiet spot
- Know your order before you get there. Don't make it too complex
- Have a goal for the meeting. Know what you want to get out of it
"You don't have to be a feminist to care about these lessons, nor do you need a daughter or a sister. You just have to know a girl or young woman and care about her future."
The differences for a woman vs. a man in business:
- Women have fewer mentors and sponsors
  - "You need to seek mentors on a regular basis"
  - "Men need to mentor women" -- "Make room for women mentees"
  - What should the man who is nervous to mentor a woman do?
    - Meet in a public place
    - Talk about business
Key to excellence: The ability to adapt
- Marisa joined the Navy after High School. She was inspired by the movie Top Gun
- She got in a bad car accident and had to be rescued by the jaws of life
- She had to shave her head in the Navy
- "Our reality forces us to adapt. We change jobs 4x more than our parents did."
How to be adaptable?
- Be open to pushing yourself to new environments
  - Test yourself in a new environment. Don't always set up for the perfect environment
  - Do something differently -- Test your boundaries
How to be authentically empathetic?
- The platinum rule -- Treat others as they want to be treated (not how you want to be treated)
- Be vulnerable, open, and real
- While interviewing terrorists in Yemen, Marisa got them to open up by authentically opening up first
  - "Be conscious about when and how you're vulnerable. It can't be too often. Monitor your emotions."
Look for go for it moments... Learn to rebound from failure and understand the key takeaways from them. Be able to deal with uncertainty.
Marisa shares a story about a parent of one of her students. Marc. His daughter was going through an issue at school. Marc said, "I went into Dad mode and said should I call the school? Talk to a teacher? —- This is a terrible way to respond as the dad of a daughter. A dad needs to "coach from the sideline." Help your daughter practice self advocacy. Ask them questions, be curious. Help your daughter find her voice and speak up. One easy example to practice -- "When you go out to eat, always have your daughter order her food. When you call to order a pizza, have your daughter do it."
Marisa worked in the White House and needed to become an excellent communicator to prepare for her conversations with The President. How did she do this? "Practice, practice practice."
Excellence:
- How we learn from failure and bounce back... What happens next?
- It's always about the others in your life. Who are you surrounding yourself with?
- Small things make a big difference

I think it's something we all need to remember at every stage of our lives, every stage of our careers. This idea that practice, practice, practice, right? It makes a difference whether you're walking in the room to negotiate or you're walking in the room for a big pitch or, and I saw this in the White House, right? Or whether you're walking in the room to brief the president or the chief of staff. Hey everyone, I want to tell you about a new company that I'm excited about. It's called Municipal and it was co-founded by my friend Harry Arnett and Mark Wahlberg. Municipal is the original sport utility gear, the most comfortable, versatile and stylish clothes that you can wear all day long. There are pieces for everyone and the softness and quality is some of the best I've ever felt, from the world's best hoodies to workout gear to the most comfortable, stretchy pants you've ever worn. Municipal has everything to redo your entire closet. Check out all they have to offer at municipal.com and follow them on Instagram at Unisible and they've given us a promo code, use Hawk20, that's HAWK20, for 20% off now through the end of the year at municipal.com. Welcome to the learning leader show presented by Brixie and Meyer. I am your host Ryan Hawk. Thank you so much for being here, text learners to 44222 in order to join tens of thousands of learning leaders from all over the world, receive mindful Monday updates. What I'm reading, writing, watching, thinking about and I'll also give you more details about how my book Welcome to Management will help you become a more effective leader, text learners to 44222. Now on tonight's featured leader to special one, Dr. Marissa Porges, head of school at the Baldwin school, Dr. Porges previously served at the White House as a senior advisor for cybersecurity and technology policy. Prior to the White House, she traveled throughout the Middle East and Afghanistan conducting research on counter-terrorism, including interviews with former members of al-Qaeda and the Taliban. Dr. Porges also served the United States on active duty in the U.S. Navy, flying jets as a naval flight officer. Wow, a few of the topics we discussed, how to adapt to ever-changing circumstances we find ourselves in as a leader, particularly useful right now. Then how you should respond when your child has an issue at school, Marissa's answer may surprise you. And then the primary skill she used when interviewing members of al-Qaeda and the Taliban and how you can become a better leader by implementing what she shares. This one is absolutely packed. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Dr. Marissa Porges. I've heard that you teach a class at your school for the seniors focused on leadership. And so first, I'd love to hear a little bit more about the curriculum of that class. Some of the key takeaways for the girls are becoming women in that class that you share with them and what made you as the head of the school decide to then also teach a class amongst all the other responsibilities you have. So that, it's a question I love you asking me to start the show because I spent so much time over the past couple of years developing that course. In large part because it's something that I wish I'd had when I was a teenager, I think a lot of the lessons that I learned as a leader at different points in my career were very much on the job training. And those things that I then look back and said, oh, if only I had known how to negotiate

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