Who Knew It with Matt Stewart

106 - Annie Louey, Millie Holten and Simon McCulloch

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features Annie Louey (Wedding Disasters, China Tonight), Millie Holten (Descent, Long Head) and Simon McCulloch (Stupid Old Studios, Dirt)!

Check out Matt's stand up special: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhE

Support the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!

See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/

Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/

Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith, Logo by @muzdoodles and edited by Connor Schmidt!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Broadcast on:: 23 Sep 2024
Audio Format:: other

Hello, Matt here, letting you know that I've got some shows coming up in Brisbane. We're doing a live, who knew it, and I'm also doing a stand-up show in my show, Ding, at the Caxton Street Festival in the 19th of October. And then I'm going to be in Geelong, working on an hour of new material on the 31st of October at the brewery there. Geez, I'm looking forward to that. Then, of course, I'm flying over with my friends, Jess and Dave, to do a tour of Europe, for Dewgo On, but at the end of that tour, I'm doing three, who knew it shows with stand-up as well. In London on the 17th of November, Leicester on the 21st of November, and Edinburgh on the 23rd of November. Cannot wait to do all of these shows, hopefully we'll see you there. You can find tickets at mattstew@comedy.com. Mattstew@comedy.com. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. With the price of just about everything going up during inflation, we thought we'd bring our prices down. So, to help us, we brought in a reverse auctioneer, which is apparently a thing. Mint Mobile unlimited. Premium wireless. Have it to get 30, 30, 30, but to get 20, 20, 20, but to get 20, 20, but to get 15, 15, 15, just 15 bucks a month. So, give it a try at mintmobile.com/switch. $45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes of detail. [Music] Welcome to Who Knew with Mattstew@ the show where the guests are at the wrong answer. So, I'm the titular Mattstew@. And our first guest is host of Wedding Disaster, the podcast about wedding disasters. It's Annie Louie. Hello. Coming in. I think you're our first guest from Hong Kong. Oh my gosh. What an honor. I mean, coming in from Hong Kong. Anyway. Yeah. Yeah. Two hours behind. I'm still drinking my first coffee of the day, but very keen and excited for my first debut on this part. Oh, it's so good to have you debuting. You haven't picked up much of an accent so far. It's still pretty ochre. I've got to say Annie. I'll be racist on me to put on any other accent. I think so. I'm looking. You can be filling with the effects later. I will not be doing that. This week is the creator and star of the hit web series Descent. It's Millie Halton. Hello. Glad to hear it's a hit. It's a big look at the numbers it's doing. Oh, viral. Yeah. I mean, you know, the writer man, not these sort of nonsense numbers. No, no, no, no. These are those real numbers. Real Australian numbers. Ten of thousands. Ten of thousands. Tell you what I've learned when writing bios. You can say anything has been a cult hit because what does that mean? That was a cult hit. I think this one's too big to be a cult hit. Ten of thousands. I think that's a cult hit. It's ten. Yeah. Okay. Beyond. I think it's, I think, mega, mega successful. Yes. That's how I describe it. Yeah. I think you haven't sold it. But I'm trying to be humble on your behalf. Not me. Okay. Let me go again. The biggest show of all time. Yes. Get me thrown to wishes that had our numbers. And our third guest this week is host of the monthly alternative comedy room dirt at theory here in Melbourne. It's Simon McCulloch. Cult room. Cult room. Easily a cult room. Yeah. Genuine cult room. Whenever I've been there, it was, it's been packed, which is once, once. Yep. Yeah. But I've extrapolated from that, that it's always packed. Is that wrong? No, you should always extrapolate based on the best experience you've ever had. Right. That's how I would like to be remembered. Absolutely. I'm actually, I think I was on when this comes out a few days ago. Yeah. The September show. Yeah. What a, what a night. What a night. You crushed the biggest crowd we've ever seen. I did a character. Did I? Did I? A full character? You picked a really hard line accent and you committed to it. As well. Yes. But you won everybody over by the end of it. I've been thinking about like being Ned Kelly or, or like someone who wants everyone to know how much of a feminist they are. They're my two ideas so far. I think that's one idea. But I might be able to merge the two. Yeah. Feminist. Yeah. Feminist. Kelly. I would watch that. Okay. We'll see how that goes. Anyway, the way the show works is ask a relatively obscure trivia question. Our contestants have to write. Convince fake answer. I then read their answers as well as a real one. I'll have to guess which one is correct. Oh, and Hayless as well. I've got you. Why don't you false on Instagram and Facebook and whatever. Who knew it? Pod. We're filming episodes. I'm going to just double check. I have press record in a second and I'm going to put up some clips. So you can see probably the funniest moment of this episode. Oh. If Simon did it. Because Simon actually edits a lot of the do-go-on clips. True. So maybe from the inside you can let me know which bit I should clip out of this. I think I'm just going to goose those clips. I'm going to put myself into it. Yeah. You can add laugh tracks. Yeah. Oh, like crushed in the podcast. Yeah. Add some idea. Simon, you're so fucking big. Yeah, you guys. Well, that would be a weird thing to add in. You're adding in the story that you're keeping people in a car. I've got a loving family that are waiting for you. You can add, like, happy to wait in the car for me. Lots of little footsteps and then a car door slamming in the screech as they drive off. My kids left me in the snow. Oh, they're kids. I was so funny. My family left me alone. Yeah. That's the first question comes from Lisa T from Brisbane. Brisbane. And the question is, what is the meaning of the word? No. I don't know how to, we don't, I don't think anyone really knows how it's pronounced, but it's G-N-U-R-R-G-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N-U-N- We don't I don't think anyone really knows how it's pronounced, but it's G and you are G and you So I'd say that you know or no Is the English word? Oh, yeah sure I Believe it is. Okay. Mm-hmm. Pretty sure it's an English word While they're right if your ads will explain how the scoring works So you get a point if you fake answers gas by the other contestant another point if you correctly guess the answer and by the way I'm also playing as the house and I've put into my fake answers for each question And I get a point for each one of those that I guess choose so each of us can go up to three points per round Which seems fair, but the probability actually favors me the house and the house always wins off you've listen a previous episode You'll know that is not often the case anyway, most of our questions come from a great patreon supporters You want to submit a question? You want to submit a question sign up on any level by patreon a comm such to go on pod Which is linked in the show notes. Oh the answer is for question number one. What is the meaning of the word? Gna or no a female buffalo for the purpose of breeding the quiet atmosphere brought on by snowfall the lint that collects in the bottom of a pocket and An ancient tool used to grind nuts The Swedish word for the noise sheep make the equivalent of bar Or an irritational itch felt towards the rear of the jaw coined after the sound made by patients presenting the ailment example No, no more Someone got silly then Not on this show not on my one As soon as it is revealed who was a bit silly they're out. Okay. Yeah I Can't believe no one went with how Australians they know Yeah, that's true Annie. What do you reckon it was the penultimate answer again in that list? Swedish word for the noise sheep make assuming penultimate is second-last Yes, yeah, I quite like that because so many languages use automatic here I got a big brain. Yes for animal sounds like in My dialect but the word for duck is art. This was like art because if that's what sounded up makes So I would like to lock that one in I don't know any Swedish words other than IKEA related things But I'll go for that. Oh, I look at that in for Annie. What do you think Simon? What was the second one? Second one quite atmosphere brought on by snowfall. I'm gonna go with the nut the nut cracking device. Yeah All right, welcome in for Simon. Mm-hmm. They're like that snowfall one sounds almost like a like a High-coup or something. Yeah, it's just beautiful. I feel like it was too beautiful for whatever this is for a dictionary Yeah, I was leaning towards the snowflake one There's no for one. Sorry because it was so gorgeous and I was transported for a moment Yeah, and I like to live in that little space in there and no Beautiful moment. No, yeah, take a walk about It's like that book what's the one about cosiness is it Hig Hig Hig Hig Hig Hig Hig Hig Hig Hig Hig Yeah, that makes me think of the snow just more confident my snowfall answer actually lock it in locked in. Yeah, all right He's throughout the answers Female Buffalo for the purpose of breeding that was Millie Come adjacent. Oh, yeah, this car. There's an unspoken comment there. Isn't it? I think it's all I can do anymore Unfortunately, all you can do is come. Oh, yeah No, it doesn't sound that bad. No, no, no and an irritation or itch. This is the one by the person who's going to be kicked off the show Example Gnerr It her that was so I'm too silly for me. I realized halfway through it. I was like, am I just doing an ermigur? Separately like variations of rhymes of nerve Nuh, nuh, nuh It her. Yeah, performed as that is kind of what you are looking exactly Notes. Yeah, no feedback. Yeah Swedish word for the noise sheep make Anyway, that was the house. I'm afraid any Lisa, okay, the house also are at the quiet atmosphere brought on by snowfall By Lisa. Yeah, Lisa is it Lisa T from Brisbane? Well, what is she a poet? Is she a great thinker of our time because she needs to pursue poetry straightaway? Yes, I was transported. I thought it was so beautiful. It's stunning So I'm and went for an ancient tool used to grind nuts. That was Annie. Oh very good. Well played. It's like, I'm a Jason Literally, I was like, oh, no, I need to cover my tracks. I just jokes like yeah, it's a sound you make when you're not That means I've got the correct answer. It's the lint that collects in the bottom of the pocket, which sounds like the most made-up Absolutely, I thought someone was doing a classic comedy answer. Oh, well, very good. That's no Well, you got a bit of Nara and your pocket there and there and there and there and there and there and there My seat of the 30 Rock gag the rural juror rural juror. Yeah So after one round we got the house on two points Annie at one point and everyone else hit the score weren't they names? You know, you know, you're probably figured out Simon is that us? Oh, no, I can't I think we're good. Hell yeah, cuz I can't read Copy us question two comes from Jaden from camber and the ACT the question is which of these are real species of fish So you're just gonna come up with a fake species of fish While you're writing your answers. Here's some more info on gunner. Oh, no Lois Elston writes in her word blog The word lint is old arriving at the end of the 14th century and coming by devious means from the old English word for flax Which was Lynn hence linen? I think that also means that like flax is the American version of lin seeds I think they're connected well. Anyway floppy stuff when collected can be used for things such as tinder for lighting fires Here is a lovely description from the online etymological dictionary saying lint is blockulent flax Because it is a useful to tinder. It's a flammable property makes it dangerous in some situations It's combustible nature can lead to it being a fire hazard Exploring the word lint has led me to another odd word good No, otherwise known as pocket lint the dusty fluffy rubbish which collects in pockets and trouser turn-ups No one seems to know where it originated and people wondered about its pronunciation Should it be pronounced no with a solid G like gnome gnash and new or should the G be voiced good No, and I like how she puts this in a terms. I can understand like Australians might say good a good No, and a good no That's it. That's how we say good night good no And then said I've even seen it written as gn are no with no vow, but I think that's a mistake I Like you still reported back on it anyway. Thank you so much Lois very loyal. Yeah All right answer him for question number two. Which of these are real species of fish? Droggy daughter the flat-tail loam Fat-mouth mackerel big trout black crappy or girthy chub I Love all of them, but I feel like they're back for with a sure fake So you may at least get the first to doo doggy daughter and the flat-tail loam Yeah, I'll take it a chance on the flat-tail loam. Okay. I'm looking that in for Simon. What do you think Millie? This droggy daughter You're trying to map the size. Yeah, can I hear the back four? Try the girthy one for size You picture it yourself in a like a in a well dinging or something not to Not to disrupt this the flow of the show, but my earliest memory and this is true is of swimming in the great barrier reef Whoa, my early like my first waking thought we are a water birth I would have been about five and it was like a holiday to like movie world sort of a deal We stopped by the great barrier reef and I snorkeled and I remember seeing You know those really flat fishes that like with eyes on either side, but they're like really like thin and flattened big I forgot the name of them That I remember seeing them and they kind of like they have like an eye on one side and I remember seeing it and being like I don't like that fish Looking at me. Yeah, truly is it look you mean flat like a stingray or flat like like vertically flat Like a like a like a mini dinner plates were swimming right like like standing upright Yes, but very big and I didn't like it looked like a bit sad or something I don't like that fish and that's truly my first memory. Wow In a cartoon it would do that optical illusion thing where it's not visible and it turns and it's exactly yeah So I'm trying to take myself back their druggie daughter. I just like the sound of it, but man, please hear the back end Fat mouth mackerel funny big trout Which is big trout industry. I think yeah, I'm never take on big trout Black crappy mercy job So a lot of funny looks I'm gonna go, you know what? Drugy daughter. I'm drawn to it. My place have drugy daughter Is it felt like daughter son and daughter daughter? D-O-R-T-R Oh, daughter daughter daughter. Is that one of your summon brother? I believe that the spelling doesn't affect you there. Oh What do you think it did? It was about like a daughter like, you know, some and daughter that would that make it more or less likely Well, that's what I thought I was voting for But honestly in hearing that it is a different spelling. I feel more confident. Okay, so look it in please. Nice. That leaves you, Annie Yeah, I like the sound of the back four. I'm gonna choose black crappy He's a good one. Yeah, like crap crap has a lot of different meanings like, you know, isn't that a game craps? Yeah, maybe it's also a fish. Yeah. Yeah, maybe the fish is where they all came from. Mm-hmm. That's the root word All right, here's who wrote the answers Big trout. That was Simon. Very good. I got range. Yeah. Yeah fat mouth mackerel. I was Annie. That's it That's a fantastic name. Girthy Chub was Jayden. Okay, the house. Oh, okay. Yeah The house also wrote Droggy daughter. Oh That's very good. Simon went for the flat-tail loom. That was Millie. Gotcha. Nice. Meaning Annie is correct black crappy Yeah, I need to know more about this fish I'll wait for you. There are two cons. The other one being the white crappy Yeah, if you take a white crappy you need to see a doctor Same with black actually, but less less likely that that's unusual. Yeah, an aftergrog bog. Yeah So that means Annie gets it. Did you get the first one right as well? I did. I didn't get it right But you gave me a point. Oh, you did get a point. That's right. Yeah So another point to Annie Millie's on the board another point to the house only one person yet to score I won't I won't name them But I could be you could be any of this great really Simon yet to score Millie on one point Annie's on two bit out in front of three points. It's the house brother Uncomfortable being out in front like this be nice It's just the early time. It's happened. It happened sometimes. It really stays that way to the end But we'll say really dragon with you all get triple points in the final round as well To really even things are right Annie and Simon. We are the three smartest minds in comedy. Yeah, we have to we have to yeah Cult minds in comedy. We're yeah, we're a cult hit so we must band together to beat this Richard house Yeah, enough humility. Yes. Yeah, clubs are all exactly Question three comes from Nick Dennis from Eddas in Pennsylvania in America and the question is sometimes Movies are re-titled for different markets. What is the English translation of the Japanese title for the Pixar movie up? So there's a Japanese title they rename it You got to translate that back into English Mm-hmm and while you're writing your answers. I'll let the audience know a bit more about black crappy According to Jayden the black crappy is a North American fish That is one of only two types of crappy the other being the white crappy It is called the black crappy because it is darker with black spots Jayden suggests that it must have nearly been home time when they named them. I think that's probably a fair enough assumption. Oh My gosh, the answers are in for question number three Which is what is the English translation of the Japanese title for the Pixar movie up? heavenly rescue Grandpa Carl's flying house The old man and his dead wife Enough flying Super sad start, but hang in there. You have a talking dog to look forward to Old man flying dreams. Oh Wonder if that was Lisa again All over it I need to get in touch with our own falling With the words if that's her it's your your go milli. Oh my goodness What was that last one again say it again old man flying dreams? Play it again, so Flying dreams and my name is Matt I Got a lock it in I got a lock in the most beautiful Okay, Millie what this isn't Lisa. I'm gonna feel quite the train. What's what's Casablanca? All right, Annie? My name's Matt. Okay, that's sorry Sam That one. Yeah, that one was very poetic But the what was it read the first few to me? I wanted something up the top heavenly rescue Grandpa Carl's flying house The old man and his dead wife enough flying Yeah, I'll go with the first one. That's like the probably the second most part It's like maybe they wouldn't go for full poetry, but they're something relatable. Yeah, heavenly rescue I wanted to go for that one as well. Well, you can no no No, you don't get anyone No, yeah, I mean just let me distress That was there a one with grandpa in there. Yes grandpa Carl's flying house I don't think he has kids in the film though. You're so right. Oh my god That would be a wild mistranslation. I think or just they just take a couple of leaps and maybe there's a different world if Old man. Yeah Elder What was number three Sam The old man and his dead wife. No, it was number four enough flying. Let's It's not that no, I have to go number one I heard a big song about taking risk and getting no if you don't take a risk, but I'm gonna play I love the confidence of it It's not that. No, you don't know. How would you possibly know that Simon? I feel things Which is why you're banned from a lot of rooms and Sorry, I know what if you okay, so it's locked in heavenly rescue. Yes, please He's who wrote the answers enough flying and you were so sure this wasn't right and you were correct That was milli yeah, which but I just I know who wrote it and then I can just feel how Hurtful it is. Yeah, it's a rule one out. Yeah, not that obviously. It's not that that one stupid I didn't put my bloody soul into that. I did not make a value judgment on it Obviously not that yeah, whatever that one's wasted our time. Yeah, what you were saying Let's just say my next answer might be a little pointed towards The old man is dead waff that was sawman Super sad stop and hang in there, etc. That was the house very good old man flying dreams Which million went for that was Annie Annie's rotting wait, did I go for that one? I did. I did off. Sorry. Yes. That was very good. Annie. Why did you get angry as soon as soon as you heard It was Annie you went I wouldn't do that. Well, it's broken. That's not my beloved Lisa It's pretty easy to be hurtful, isn't it? No, no, no, I think maybe I just said it differently that time. Yeah, maybe old man You put your soul into it. That's it. Yeah, very good. Any very good. I've never watched the movie So I really just had to assume something that Japanese people might like Yeah, yours was yeah, it's very similar to grandpa Carl's Carl's flying house only used old man. Yeah Which is apparently more accurate heavenly rescue, which Annie and Tom went for that was actually written by Nick Okay, the house many grandpa is fine house is correct. Absolutely Can we fact check that is he just Just called a grandpa because he's old. I think that's right. I think what you did Annie Was accidentally yeah, nail it. Yeah, well done. Yeah, it's just the hardest game of the plate So two by the house one point to Annie that round all right question four. I I'm hoping none of you are big june heads Are any of you right into the no series june? Not a big virgin So this question comes from who I can only show me it's a big virgin. Oh, I'm so sorry I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. What did you want? Is there something wrong with being a big virgin? No, you'd be the biggest or smallest virgin you can ever be Um, you know 50% of my audience are virgins So you've just really Chunker the listener tuned out halfway through this episode Uh, so this question comes from Tyler Thornton from Jacksonville, Florida and the question is June is an iconic series of sci-fi novels beloved by big virgins That's sort of I think that's sort of you know between the lines. Yeah, what is the name of one of the strange species from it? So he comes up with different there's different like alien races and species and stuff. What what's one of the names of the species? Okay down. I spent my brain power on fish. No Uh, while you're writing your answers, there's a little more info about grandpa carls flying house Uh nick writes in Japan. It is common for theaters to have programs you can get For just about any movie many years ago to convention. I found a booth selling these This led me down a rabbit hole of looking at all the crazy posters and then scanning them with google translate app Uh, heavenly rescue is the Cantonese title for op. Oh my god. Simon and Annie You guessed and that last one was actually the Cantonese Japanese I heard Cantonese Well, that's a you problem mate. I gotta get these headphones changed man. These are not working for me Hey while you're still writing your answer. Let's go for a quick break Ryan Reynolds here for mid mobile with the price of just about everything going up during inflation We thought we'd bring our prices down. So to help us we brought in a reverse auctioneer, which is apparently a thing Mid mobile unlimited premium wireless Have it to get 30 30 30, but you get 20 20 20, but you get 20 20, but you get 15 15 15 just 15 bucks a month So give it a try at mid mobile dot com slash switch $45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month new customers on first three month plan only taxes and fees extra speed slower above 40 gigabyte ct hotel All right, we're back in the answer in for question before June is an iconic series of sci-fi novels What is the name of one of the strange species from it? Arrakka tracker flames chair dogs chameyans dank francs Giddy primates or simon at eat a poo A eat a poo. I thought that was an email address That's Simon at eat a poo dot com. There's no way to know who wrote that, but really not I think it's pronounced like Samana eat a poo Oh, Samana eat a poo A european accent that's a yeast in european or something If like who's to know who wrote that um, but that's how I as you know I want to find that eventually be I think you're right actually now Yeah, really nice having a friend like millie here who can clarify Someone in the dark taking shots and disrespecting Oh, what doesn't say which simon? Oh, yeah, except who could be any any simon could be the news reader from hobo. Mm-hmm Yeah, probably he's probably almost definitely is any what do you reckon? Ah, they all sound fake I think in a lot of ways. Yeah, I think it is fake. This is all from the the beautiful mind of whoever wrote june Also, there are no wrong answers. That's what you say Yeah, I should fact check them all. You might have someone upon us Truly? Well, you know, I'm not saying this on the one that's true or not, but maybe it is true I'd be so devastated. I thought timothy shall only wrote a simon. I eat a poo In the last movie. I thought even if it's even a people it's like a slug saying slug um Okay, I don't think it was chair dogs. That sounds like you just looked around the room and The creativity is a low More the other ones that like some nice kind of we don't have a dog in this room If anyone's looking around their room seeing a chair and a dog it's you Yeah, that's that is true. Maybe I'm just dissing myself and throwing you off the scent Uh something that rhymed that wasn't there one that uh dank francs That's too australia. That is very yeah. Yeah. Yeah, true The guy like you got to get into the mind of frank herbitt. He's the author of these Oh, maybe he's snuck his own name in there. Mm Okay, other ones or the others other ones include arachathrakath claims chair dogs shamayans dank francs gady primates our or some-mana-edapoo I don't know No, I took on a note before and I don't know if that was it Yeah, it was more sing-song Even though you weren't even Italian. Yeah, no it wasn't a bit make it to the planet of durian Yeah You know that the main character's name is paul. This isn't yeah, that's the thing. So you just I'm boring. That is. Yeah, maybe chair dogs. It was in there. Um, I'm gonna go the penultimate one Again. G-i-e-d-i Yeah, that's G-i-e-d-i G-i-e-e-d-i G-i-e-e-e-d G-i-e-d-i Sure, I feel like it's like got one foot in Reality like the real world and one foot out and I feel like that's what the movie kind of is. That's june Haven't seen it. That's june. Am I getting the vergens on it? Has anyone actually gets june? I've seen the first one. Okay, cool. Have you seen junes? I've seen part of the first one. Okay But we've also on uh do go on the sister podcast of this show We uh had the history of june So I and i've also been on a on the book cheat podcast, which is a sister podcast of this podcast All right. How many siblings do we have? What's happening here? It's a big family tree But I heard uh, I heard the uh, day varniki host that uh talk talk me through the whole book Of june. That sounds like a bad date Uh, well, it was a good day and uh, congratulations. I started off a big version Oh my gosh I don't know what uh, what um, is it june? Anyway, um, simon, do you want to lock something in? Um Spiritually, but not properly. I want to lock in chair dogs. Just it's like something to call like a bureaucrat or something. There's chair dogs Yeah, you chair up on the hill. Um, but I think the sheet shamaland shamaland the m night The shamaland the second one. I think yep. I think i'm going to go with that That seems as down the line and I got to put all of my points On this i'm gonna go all in yeah, can I go every every all the points from the future and you're gonna bring Oh, yeah, can I do that? Does that mean you lose all of them if you are wrong? I want to do a retro gamble. Yes. Oh, you can't do that You dangled it in front of them and took it away. Maybe you could like a little okay. Now you're back. I don't know Break the fabric of this show. Please don't break the fabric Rip it into this audience is really invested in the fabric of the show and then I will be distraught and the other 50 Percent. Oh, is this the same? I don't know if it's really I don't know if it's a alien ed if you're in a young group or not Not sure. I don't want those versions anyway I don't get them any No, I'll take any version Okay, I'm in the beginning of my career. I can't push you away What do you reckon millie you could get you could go with Annie and Guidey primates you go with Simon and Shami yans or you could go your own way Arakith record flames chair dogs dank francs or Simonita poo. Yeah. Yeah, go all in on Simonita poo you coward I mean whoever wrote that it's very clever For some reason i'm not drawn to it. I have to get into the mind of Lisa again The most beautiful right in it. I've ever heard I did get in it. You want to get in the mind of Frank No, Lisa really getting the Lisa's mind on this one will not help you Frank Herbert that I got a soul connection with Lisa and my eyes are going to roll back and I'm going to contact you Okay Lisa Lisa Lisa. What wouldn't you say her name three times? I'd hate for her to appear. Um, could I please look at I like the rakaraka brothers Arakith racar flames. Yeah, I mean very acdc. Yeah, it's like a fan club is called the rakadaka I was thinking the who the rakaraka twins they the talk to me. Yeah boys Yeah, I wish them the best soul for locking them, please. All right. Well, here's the right. The answer is Simonita poo That was milli. What milli. What can you give us the pronunciation one more time? Okay, eastern you're Someone to eat a poo. Oh, yeah. I'm gonna eat some Pooh, I'm gonna eat a poo. I don't know where this is I don't know. Maybe you were really rude about an answer that I put my soul into but around ago. Yeah Uh, dank franks. That was the house Arakith racar flames milli. You're gonna hate this. That was Simon I'm staying out of this. There's gonna be a fight. Yeah, milli eat a poo. I don't know Simon with the shamayans. That was Annie Thank you. Yeah, I know Zendaya's in the movie. So I'm like, what's kind of weird syllables. I can put together very clever. Yeah Annie, you went for gady primates. That was Tyler. Okay, the house Which makes sense. You went for Tyler's because I think Tyler's the only one who probably knows the june world And he's the only one who could kind of write a believable answer. Although that does mean that none of you picked the actual one. So What was the actual chair dog? No, absolutely not. They're dogs that have been bred to be like chairs. What's he sitting on those? What the hell? Spreading in them. They're like chair. They're like an armchair. Don't move about to massage. This is why virgins like I'm being serious It's ridiculous. I wish I could sit inside a dog. Yeah Seriously If you don't get it, that's fine milli, but it is an intricate world and it's beautiful Anyone adding details to something doesn't make it good Anyone could add more detail It's simplicity is actually the art brian. What's your fucking name? Chair dog. I think it's fantastic. Yeah, well, there's a name brian frank brian frank. There's a protagonist called paul Did he die childless? Frank his name is frank her, but here is a drawing of a chair dog Okay, that's ridiculous. It's just a chair I can't say it it needs to imagine a furry armchair from here. It kind of looks like a vulva Yeah Check out a little bit Chair, can I use all my points and put them on to milli's June fans of virgins I think I can really make it a strong comeback in the back half of the show. Hey, I have a question Do you think that me shooting on a beloved sci-fi property will bode well for me on the internet? I say get more online vocalize it a little bit more especially as you're here to promote your sci-fi comedy adventure Are you just annoyed that yours is all about the wet water and dunes about the dry sand known rivals see and then Is this is this show always this hurtful like I've been I've heard milli milli's hurt me I don't hurt all of us I think it depends it depends on the on the on the people who are on it's a nasty little show Yeah, it's a it's a bit of a mirror of the show and it's reflecting back upon you what you're providing out I agree to just Wow now mass Shooting is I thought that yeah venom I really thought you were going to say oh no now that you've said that I see that it is beautiful But no now that I've you doubled down now that I see it for what it is. It is abhorrent. Yeah, yeah really hard to look at So uh, Simon, I thought you would have been happy about the good news that you're on the ball at now Your first point there Show That all of your points which you had the zero It was a master game. You're multiplied by the five still zero So now after four rounds the scores are million salmon on a point of peace Annie on four but still out in front on six points. It's the house And you've got a gift for this game. Yeah, thank you. I didn't realize it was so much. Um writing based skills So yeah, I'm not word nerd. So I know we should learn a read Just for you, Annie. This is the penultimate question Question number five comes from Colin Campbell from Tucson, Arizona speaking of sandy places I assume that's a sandy place But in what unusual manner did the american founding father governor morris don't know how to pronounce that of new york die How did american founding father governor morris? It's not spelled like normal governor. That's why i'm I know it's a name g-o-u-v-e-r-n-e-u-r I didn't take track track of those letters Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna be in the best place to pronounce this governor mirrors All right, let me put all my future points on this round again American founding father one of the guys one of those old one of those big big dogs from big chair dogs from back in the day Uh, how did he die? now He wasn't in Hamilton. Oh Was in Hamilton. I would tell you all right You'd tell me that he was in Hamilton. Yeah, I'll let that fact fly Okay, that but that you gave it that's equally a fact he was not in Hamilton I suppose you're right, but why was he left out if he died in such a Spectacular way, I'm sure Lin-Manuel would have clocked it. Probably couldn't do it That's probably couldn't do the stomping and clapping like the rest of him. Yeah Don't they do that to get the worm and dune if they stomp on the ground. Yeah, all right Dune musical can't be far off it. Oh, yes The the books that they said were almost impossible to put on the big screen. Mm-hmm. They'll turn into a musical It's chairs and stumps and claps. That's all you need for a musical to be fine While you're writing your answers about how governor Morris of New York a governor died, I'll let the listeners know a bit more about chair dogs Corner Tyler in the dune universe in the in the dune universe The object and species known as chair dogs were first mentioned in the fifth novel of the series heretics of dune chair dogs were bioengineered dogs shaped into chairs They were trained to massage the people who sat in them similar to modern day vibrating massage chairs Except without needing electricity or computerization Because artificial thinking machines computers have been banned in the dune universe ever since the butlerian g had of course That's yeah. I just forgotten about that. But of course. Yes, the butlerian g had did change everything I bet they didn't know that when the butlerians Had their g had They didn't realize that it was the first domino to fall that was going to lead to chair dog massages Makes you think what were we doing? Oh, the answers are in In what unusual manner did the american founding father governor or given a morris of new york die? drank wine out of an unsealed barrel and pulled out his mouth Who the hell did that to death? Obviously, that's the undercurrent of all is it's to death to death. Yeah He stuck a whale bone up his urethra and it got infected To death Infected to death he died by the hand of his own invention when the morrisinator punching machine turned on him While pretty active into his 70s he chopped down a tree for firewood and was stung to death by bees after not seeing their beehive Today. Oh He died after an infection resulting from a surgery to remove a brain worm Ew, that's like jfk rfk excuse me rfk jr Uh, or he died after his third set of wooden molars became infected. Well, then a lot of infected business. Mm-hmm. Yeah I mean emotions are quite timeless, you know Yeah, whereas the the morrisinator does that's a modern ring to it, but um I think that's also timeless. I think these are all timeless give it a while Bone down your dick at any time unsealed barrels Sure, uh, all right. So we're up to you simon. What do you reckon? Um Dominique quickly go through him again. Yeah, give me one last lap drink wine and unsealed barrel Who's that pretty daddy's mouth stuck a whale bone up his urethra got infected died by the hand of his own invention the morrisinator punching machine Uh He chopped down a tree for firewood but was stung to death by bees Uh died of an infection resulting from surgery to remove a brainworm Or an infection from his third set of wooden molars I'm gonna take a risk and i'll put all my points on this if this is cool Um, yeah, you're putting one point on singular point singular point Um, once more than done. I'm putting all my points on this on my point on this stack it up Um, i'll go whale bone Well bone ureth that seems like some crazy shit. They'd pull in that time Absolutely. Yeah, and maybe it wasn't for sexual purposes. It could have been for a surgery Yeah, we're using whale bone and they were gonna fish something out of his pink. Yeah, I mean i'd be pretty surprised if it was for sexual purposes It just went straight there any You never know people i'm like every every time i think has someone done that fucked thing. It's always yes I'm like, oh, you know, what's that little hole there? Do you reckon somebody's stuck a whale bone in there? Yes, and he was a founding father. It was almost his duty to figure enough out for the resignation. Yeah All right, millie, what do you think? I'm thinking logically. I'm thinking of Lisa. I think Okay molars, I don't think because I don't think if you had bung teeth back then you just let them fall out I don't think especially the molars you'd be like fine didn't I thought I mean, I don't have this a troupe didn't George Washington have wooden teeth Or is that is that a myth? Maybe he did. I'm not well first. That wasn't in hamilton. I can't tell you Why didn't they have a song? All right Boy, okay. Everyone you rule out. I'm gonna roll back in for you No progress at all. Okay, and What was the other infections on brain worm? That is interesting. How would they know about a brain where they don't have the machines? Probably from the from they probably dug up his corpse and found out in Oh, okay. Well now it's up in the table Uh poo doubt his mouth. I don't know who does that one necessarily, but um Base things that's not an infection probably more of an allergic thing true. Yeah, you know what? I'm gonna go Beastings because that feels like some tomfoolery That they wouldn't have really sorted out tomfoolery tomjeri from uh my girl Thomas J I can't see where there's glasses. He died of bees. Oh, sad tom tomfoolery. My name's millie Call back. All right. Look at him for millie. That leaves just Annie. Ah, it's been an interesting chat I Said without any sort of intonation or tone. It's been an interesting time. I can read you can get that As the uh the preview for this whole episode Yeah, it's an interesting chat uh, yeah, um The first one was good until they're pulling out of the mouth I would believe that he I don't think it's it's not physically possible for bees used to come out I miss I think I actually know sorry. I miss No, spoo spoo'd out is no Food. Yeah, how would you possibly know that? I feel like Lisa wrote it or something Um, not to dissuade Look, I I have no clue who wrote that answer, but I So I know do know someone who put out their mouth. That can't be I promise you. What do you mean? It was a friend of a friend of yours. No, no, no, it's someone. It's my partner's one. No way. I can't I can't expose them Somebody that notes my partner went to uni with a girl. Okay. It is a friend of mine. Mm-hmm. It's Cartman on south And she didn't poo for however long and it came up the man No, it's true. It's drove from it. I think I think it's a vomit I I also have a girlfriend. She just goes to another school and you I have no reason to lie if I I wish I didn't know this I wish at that point when it comes out. Are they testing it? Oh, it just looks so much like poo like what's the difference between like a really bad Vomit and like that smells like okay be cool man All my partner is here in the stupid all studios I can get him in here to verify if you would like I can send him in If you can organize that I can the end, but I'll look that in then if you've convinced me that someone can come in Yeah, you can put out your mouth and and he don't block that in it's clearly really what it's merely his answer - Oh yeah, maybe you don't know. - Yeah, that's true, maybe. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Any moment, you've done so well so far. Trust your gut. Trust your mouth, poo. Okay, the other ones, the B one is good. Did you already lock that in? I locked it in, but I'd reckon follow your gut. What I'm very intrigued by is the extra detail that he was quite fit and healthy and that the ripe age of 70, like, you know, so I feel like that's something I can mean to expand on it though. Somebody's gone and embellish. What were the other ones? - Unsealed barrel, wild bone, the morisonated punching machine, bees, brainworm, or wooden molars. - Oh yeah, maybe I will go to the wooden molars and thanks for the historic tidbit that a lot of people would have had wooden molars. I don't believe that one. - Now, I'm really getting the mouth through vibes now, Millie, and I'm put off. - All right, well, let's go through and write the answers. The mouth through one was Millie, of course, so crazy. Surprise, even Millie. - The punching machine was the house. Colin AK the house wrote the bees one. - Oh, very clever. The brainworm one, and he wrote that. - Oh, very clever. - The wooden molars one, Simon wrote that, meaning the correct one is wild bone up his urethra. - I have a little bit of my points on this, so that's like, yeah, you put your one point, so you get, yeah, you get one point back. It's good to win. Actually, you had two points, because you also had one of your answer guessed, and the house also gets a point there. - The house is very good. - Yeah, this is uncomfortable for the house with one round ago, but you do get triple points, so you can each go up to six points if you, or, no, nine points, if you really know it. If the other two guessed your answer and you guessed the right one, this is, you know, you win. It's like nothing before matches or something. - No, no, no. Well, it's very unlikely that that happens if it didn't happen to anyone in any other round. - I'm going to try now, though. - Yeah, please. And it would help your case to not own up to your answer. - What the hell? - They're still guessing. - I'm trying to help. So, here's the score, though, going to the last round. Milly on one, summon on three, Annie on four, but out in front, on seven points, it's the house. House doesn't get triple points on the final round, so really, you three have a great chance of winning here. We always finish with a movie question, so this one will be your longest answer that you're right, like a paragraph, two, three, four, five, you know how long, a paragraph, couple chapters. And, yeah, you just want to write a synopsis for this movie that hopefully you haven't heard of. It comes from the question from McKenna Middlebrook from Newark, New York. And the question is, what is the synopsis of the 1984 film that should, would, C-H-U-D, what is the synopsis of the 1984 film, should? - And how many sentences were you roughly? - Only two, three, four, five. Classic paragraph sort of thing. Max characters. Yeah, you know, modern Twitter, you know, Latter-day Twitter, when it got good. While you're writing your answers, here's some more information about that guy and the wild bone. According to History.com, there's a, the article I found about him, it's a listicle, which is called Ten Reasons, why Governor Morris was the oddest founding father. I don't know if he was that odd, but he died an interesting way. Anyway, according to History.com, as a member of the Constitutional Conventions Five Man Committee of Style, Morris polished the final draft of the U.S. Constitution. The finish, given to the style and arrangement of the Constitution, fairly belongs to the pen of Mr. Morris, reported Madison. A gifted writer, writer called the penman of the Constitution, Morris tightened the text and made it sing. Perhaps his biggest contribution was to change the documents preamble from, "We the people of the states of New Hampshire, Massachusetts, etc. etc. with all the different states listed." He really tightened that up to become "We the people of the United States." Morris traveled to Paris on a business venture in 1789, and three years later, President George Washington appointed him Minister to France. Morris saw the worst violence of the French Revolution during his five years in Paris, but it was the only diplomat to remain in the city throughout the reign of terror. His French liaisons included a three-year love affair with the novelist, Contessa Adelaide D. Flahut, who was married to a count 35 years her senior, and lived in an apartment inside the Louvre, before its conversion to an art museum. It's so fun to have got to have lived there. Morris shared his mistress with French diplomat Charles Morris the Tallerand, who would later sell the Louisiana Purchase to the United States as Napoleon's Foreign Minister. After suffering from crippling gout throughout the fall of 1816, the founding fathers' pain grew even worse when he began to experience a urinary tract blockage. This is where we get to the wild bone. From the "Don't try this at home" department, Morris then attempted to clear the obstruction by using a piece of wild bone as a catheter. The unsuccessful procedure led to further internal injuries and infection. Morris passed away on November 6, 1816 in the same room in which he was born 64 years earlier on his family's estate. Morrisania, in what today, is the South Bronx. Wow, I think this might be the grossest episode we've ever done. I think that really rounds it out, beautiful. Pleasure to be here. Rated Y for Yuck. The answer in a final question. What's the synopsis of the 1984 film "Chud"? A slight boy and his overactive imagination fled a traumatic farmhouse upbringing, spending two years in the Arctic. On his return, he challenges his elderly father in an attempt to liberate the land and his sisters. Oh, an epic. Man-mountain Mark Tunster loves his meat. When a reality TV show calls for meat lovers to audition, he can't help but sign up. Mark makes it through all the rounds and becomes the meat-eating champion, aka "The Chud". Only it turns out there is no reality TV show, and Mark has actually been auditioning to be a guinea pig from Mad Scientist, who is creating a part-man, part-meat monster. But does he realize too late? I don't think you've been that in 90 minutes. Yeah, that's three parts. That's a trilogy. Kevin Costas, directing actually goes for seven hours. In this horror film, the five-year-old son of a cow farmer becomes possessed by spirits on their rural property in Alabama. After a spate of animal deaths on the farm, the parents suspect their child is to blame, but by then it's too late. The parents are murdered, and their spirits become trapped in bovine bodies. It's all meat and farm and dairy. A bizarre series of sudden disappearances on the streets of New York City seems to point towards something unsavory, living in the sewers. Namely, cannibalistic, humanoid, underground dwellers, aka "Chud". Oh, it's a group. It's like a murder of zombies. When four bodacious babes spend a day at the beach, a creature begins to crawl out of the stomach of Janelle in this blood-curdling thrill ride. See that? You could fit that in there in half. Certainly good. Janelle's an Australian name through and through, though, and I don't believe Chud is telling. What about Janelle Monet? You're so right. Yeah, it's the only Janelle can see. My friend Maddie, her mom, is called Janelle? Okay, so we're both thinking of one person. I'm like, no, they're all American. I don't know, they're all Maddie's mom, Janelle. And finally, when Chud gifted psychic student, physics student, oh my God, let me go again. When Chud gifted physics student, sleeps through his college exams, he invents a time travel machine to redo the day. However, when Chud miscalculates the coordinates, he lands in Roman times and finds himself betrothed to the beautiful queen Cleopatra. I'd watch that. Man, I'd watch all of these. This movie marathon, ready to go. All right, Millie. It's up to you. This is tough. This is, this is, they're all horrible movies. None of these. It's rare that, the question, the final question on this one is a big Academy Award win movie. Chud Chud Chud Chud. So who's, who or what is Chud? You got the farmhouse guy, goes to the Arctic for a while, comes back to liberate. That's too dense a plot, I think, for 90 minutes. You've got the Mark Tunstall, who is auditioning to be the Chud. No, yeah. We're just scientists, that's outlandish. And what year is this, 1984? That was a crazy time in cinema. Then you've got the one where the murdered parents get trapped in the Bovon bodies. No, I'm going to go New York, baby. I want to go with those. The Chud. The Cannibalistic. The Chud of Cannibals. Cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers. Yes. Okay, good. Does everyone remember when like Millie had it got me for dunking on all the answers? You just ran a train on those answers and just slammed every single one on the way through. I'm sorry if anyone's writing Chud. They have my hopes for Chud. I'm just saying, learn a little bit from your surroundings. Yeah, I'm so sorry. Yeah, maybe learn a little from yourself. Wow. Yeah. I don't do that. I don't reflect it. Annie, what do you reckon? I think the same. I might just follow along and see what happens. Copy count. I love it. Yeah. That leaves just you, Simon, for all my points. What was New York was the last one, right? New York was the fourth one. And out of five. Out of six. Can I... You're not saying a single thing or up. Are you trying to put all your points on this? And this is for one point. Yeah. Okay, triple points. Okay, okay, okay. Annie's is the second round. So it doesn't really matter. It's the sixth round. Oh, fuck, all right. Yeah. Can I go, what was the penultimate one to borrow a phrase for me? Bodacious babes. Let me get that one with Janelle. Audacious. Let me bite a curdling thrill rod. Janelle has thrown me off. What was the last one? Last one was the gifted physics student. Sleeps through his college exams. Events at time machine ends up marrying Cleopatra. Let's do it. All right. I've watched that. I've watched the shit out of that. All right, here's who wrote the answers. "Man Mountain Mike Tunstall loves his meat." That was the house. I wrote that after you all stopped writing. I'm like, fuck, I got it. I'm missing one answer. Yeah. I thought that was you, Simon. It's what you written all over. That, wow. That's high praise. Yeah. That's high praise. I think that's high praise for me. Yeah. I think we both went. Yeah. High praise for you. High praise for meat. Simon did write was about the boy with his overactive imagination fleeing to the Arctic before returning. It's a dense term. To liberate his sisters. It was that return. The return was too much to be. Yeah, no. Honestly. I couldn't see that. I couldn't see that being. Yeah, it was vague enough because we didn't know, like, we're liberating them from what? Yeah. And there are a lot of questions that you leave it. Yeah. Yeah. I bought that for sure. Mm. As in, I bought the rights to it and we're getting it made. It's going into production tomorrow. Bodacious babes, which Simon almost went for, but Janelle took him out of it. That was McKenna, which is interesting because McKenna's from New York. Oh, I'm deeply, I don't know Janelle. I don't know any name. I'm so sorry. I was wrong. I'm just going to roll over. I'm, I'm shit. I'm sorry. I think maybe my favorite one, the one that I really want to see, is about the parents who get trapped in Bova on bodies. That was Annie. Oh, that's great. So good. I was running out and I'm like, he needs to wrap up. I'm like, what, I don't, I'm not really a fan of horror. I love it. I'm like, fuck. What was, what, what, did you specify horror? I don't think so. No, I did. It was in the first line in this horror film. Oh, did I? Oh, right. Oh, right. Yeah. You're so thin. I did. I did. Yes. Oh, never forget really. I don't even know horror. Anyway, in this horror film. Yeah. Yeah. When that, when that answer was written out, read out, you actually went, ugh, no. I love that. Yeah. Sorry. I'm so sorry, guys. I loved it, Annie. That's really good. And thank you. Please make it. That's funny because, um, you were right. It was a horror film. Oh. The Tom Trevling one song went for. That was Millie, but that means Millie and Annie were correct. Yes. Yeah. It was a humanoid underground dwellers. I'm going to watch that. The tune. The tune. I think it was the word humanoid. I'm like, I don't think anyone in this room could have come up with that. Could have come up with a humanoid. What the hell? He said, "Go Vine." I think you could come up with them. Yeah. I think so. What the hell? All right. So I'm going to, uh, add up the scores. That's why I'm doing that. Um, quickly. I'll let you know on Rotten Tomatoes, this movie has a critical score of 29%. Audience likes it a bit more. 33%. I'm going to throw you a bet. Uh, here's a, I think this part of a review, I think, sums up what people think about it. This is from Eve Tushnet. Uh, Eve writes, "Asemy and Strange as its reputation promises. I love this weird, sad film." Oh, oh, I didn't know it would be sad. Yeah. That's a little bit... An uplifting cannibal. No, I just thought it'd be like a romp. A romp. Like a romp in yours. A shuddie romp. A shuddie romp. In the underground. Yay. I don't know it's actually quite sad actually. Oh. The scores in that last round made, I think, I don't know if this has ever happened before, but these are the final scores in last, in fourth place I should say, on three points. Not disgraced by any means. It's Simon. Look at my gambling attempts. They didn't, they pay off. Uh, no. You came last. They're like next time. So, I mean, you, I mean, you can figure that out if that paid off or not. You don't talk to my bookie about it, because everyone else won. Annie, if I have some, now we're all in seven points. Yeah. Never give up. Never give up. No, I don't think we've ever had a three-way tie. Oh. I think us three winners should go get lunchels off. Yeah. Oh my God. We should make chewed. Yeah. That sounds cool. That sounds really great. That sounds really fun. Yeah. Should reword it. I wonder what it was about chewed that made, like it did feel like we're all thinking in the same sort of, it sounds like meatloaf or something. I was just tired. I don't know. Yeah. Don't know. Who knows? Anyway, where can people find you? At Millie Halton on Instagram. And Descent is... And Descent is... At Millie Halton? No. Descent is on Grouse House YouTube channel out now. So good. Annie, where can people find the wedding disasters podcast? Ah, any platform? Just look up wedding disasters with Annie Louis, but the YouTube is where it's at, because then you get the visuals. It's really nice. And if people want to follow you elsewhere? Yeah. Instagram is at Annie Louis, spelled L-O-U-E-Y if you get confused or thrown. I think we have a small handful of Hong Kong listeners, and they can find your doing gigs around town. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I am hosting an improv stand-up show every Wednesday at a bar called Lips, but we're there Tuesday's or Saturdays when I might jump up, and then backstage HK is my partner's company and we're on every Saturday night pretty much at Base Hall in Jardine House. Amazing. Thanks for giving me the chance to plug that. I didn't know you had Hong Kong listeners. That's awesome. I'd say a small handful, but I'd love if you are in Hong Kong, go see Annie Shaw and go chat to Annie, say, "Oh, heard you on, who knew it?" And then here we go, "Really?" Oh. And then we're like, "Yeah, sure." Oh, man. And so I'm wherking people find you and wherking, and especially the dirt show. Especially the dirt. I'm @SimKullick on Instagram, but it's @dirt.comedy on Instagram, and it's like, yeah, about the third or fourth Saturday of every month. It's really, really fun. It's usually packs out, so it comes down early, 9.30pm. Is it a free show? Yeah, it's free. And you see some of the funniest weird, mostly character comedians doing some weird shit for free. So fun. It's a fun bar, too. Fun bar. He drinks. Easy to get to. Right in the city. Accessible venue. It's great. Right near Parliament station, right? Somewhere around there. Yes. Coming. I heard you killed it in the show. I killed it a couple of nights ago. Yeah, I crashed it. I killed it. I was so good. I called in sick last minute. Oh. Oh. Oh, man. I had this really great idea about feminist Ned Kelly. All right. So, yeah. Three winners. One loser. Thanks so much, everyone, for listening. We might have been. Give us a pass over to you. Hey, why not? I'll tell your friends if you think you know anyone who might enjoy it. And cheers to Trini. Who knew with Matt Stewart? Now that you know what? I'll be Matt Stewart. Goodbye. To clarify, we're wanting plausible answers. Well, people play it in different ways. I think the idea, yeah, ideally, you know, it could be humorous and believable. Yeah, yeah. That's the gold standard. The reason I ask is my comedy brain is so broken, every answer is going to become. Yeah. At this stage. Okay. Well, I mean, that's fine, but I don't know if it's a good strategy to say that out. It's the sound you make when you know. You know. You know. It's really good. It's nice to get, like, visibility on what the effects of success or cult success does to the brain. Yeah. Oh, my brain. Yeah. Come on. I think it is a seriously guy. I'm glad that he's edited. Well, I mean, you, like, it's also possible you just say really funny stuff while you're riding. Of course. And that then it doesn't have to be edited at all, you know. Oh, you would you like us to speak more? No, no. I can hear the note and the note. No, there's no note. I can read facial cues like no. You're making no eye contact when you were saying that. I can read facial cues, choose not to. If you can write something like this while also talking about something else, that's pretty good skill. Okay. Okay. But Annie's got to answer in really quick. So Annie can talk. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hit me. Hit me. I'm trying to do everything I used to do, except I can't do any TV work here because half of what I do is journalism based. So I can't be doing any of that stuff. I'm filming a documentary at the moment with ABC International. Hell yeah. Yeah. Comedy in Asia. So I'm doing a little bit of presenting stuff, but we're going to Cambodia next week. Hell yeah. And we're just going to explore the scene there and we've already shot Malaysia and Hong Kong itself and some of comedy festival as well. So that's like the comfort zone for me. And then we try to branch out to explore some of these other scenes. And some of the nuances there because people think that it's hard to do comedy here, but people just thrive, even if you give them a very restrictive environment. They just decide how they're going to weasel out of censorship and the law and all of that. So they're very creative. And it is actually a nice place to do comedy because it challenges me to not do stuff that's super political, but really relatable at the same time. Yeah. And I'm not a political comedian anyway, but I've had to even like driving, they don't drive here. I came here with a bunch of jokes about driving and the traffic's too bad and like people will have to be rich to even own a car and the fees and everything. So I'm like, ah, I see it's fresh. Just control F all your car to train and see if it works. Yeah. Yeah. Your license points and trains. Yeah. And they're like, gosh, he's so cerebral. So clever. I don't know how I fucked up my river down here. There we go. Keep the house fucked up. Just like, did we get a point? Uh, what, no, I guess if you ask a quick P break, there's all that, um, waiting and drinking BRB. Why? Did I keep everybody waiting? No, no, no, you didn't. You did. The contented guests did, not that you were the last minute, but any means. And the problem, the problem was that they, I messaged them yesterday because this episode was relatively, uh, lately organized. Mm-hmm. I think maybe, I just hadn't locked in the guests around Millie yet or something. I can't remember. I've been built. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, I think we had two. I had Annie at some point during the day and Millie at some point during the day. And then, um, yeah, and then I was trying to organize two episodes, organize two, and then on each episode, one guest, uh, couldn't show. One for a reason. The other one. One for a reason. The first reason. The second one, because they didn't realize it, they said, "I thought you meant tomorrow." Because I messaged them yesterday and they replied at four a.m. So they, they read it. If you read it tomorrow, before you go to bed, it's, it's, yeah, so it's grey area after the next sleep. Yeah. No one, hey, no one's in any trouble. Mm-hmm. Oh, thank God. So I'm in your head. You can put the axe down. And we'll pinch up and eat some vise. What is, what is the, for people, um, who are in Melbourne, when, what is it the first, it's the last, is it the last Saturday of the month or the third Saturday of the month? Roughly. Roughly like the second last or the last Saturday of each month. Um, but just jump on at dot comedy at Instagram. And how would you say that website if your jaw was injured? Oh, that was, this Southern America. South Park. Yeah. Oh, that's what it was man, Erica and South Park voices, I really went, placed in a specific time. We know your comedy influences for sure. Do you call? Oh, man. Karma's so funny. Do you guys see what he says? This is easy. He gets up to come. It's crazy. He's really fun. He's so cheeky. He's cheeky. He gets away with it. Um, so I'm going to give me three options, is that right? Um, I, everyone was type, I was watching Millie. I'm using, I'm using Millie as context clues. I didn't, I was like, do I put a description in? No, just the name, just the name. You're all the first time players. So, um, we'll deal with choice. Pick your favourite, Matt. Sorry, Simon, are you, are you looking at my, my answers, cheetah, cheetah, lemonita? I can't see your phone from this far away, but I can see what your general body is doing. Oh, just cause I'm tensed up all the time. You can check any, what's going on? I was like, you're writing multiple answers, making us all look bad. Yeah, all right. Teaches pet. Calm down. I'm, I'm doing what I can. I'm doing what I can. I'm doing what I can. I'm doing what I can. I'm just going to make a good impression this one shot. There's a lot of variety on this podcast. You're going to send this to agents. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. Check me out. This hour and a half long podcast. Yeah. I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying. If you want the doc, you're going to be a professional. If you want the doc, you're going to be a professional. If you want the doc, you're going to be a professional. If you want the doc, you're going to be a professional. If you want the doc, you're going to be a professional. 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I've got a green cave going home. It's like having a wanker, basically. Anyway, I learned it because I feel better. It's so funny because... I... People often go... The podcast they're called to go on. And the... And the... The hands are all "gooned" without... I'm so good. Sorry to tell you this. I'm always assuming their joke is, like, drink box one. I'm telling you, it is not. Yeah. But it's more than just, like, specific things where, like, people have these rooms where they have multiple monitors and they're watching multiple different porn scenes at the same time. Oh. So people go into their little goon caves and... It's very high maintenance. Yeah. It's a separate thing to just, like... Any lesson that they just can't get there. I think it's, like, a stimulation thing. Like, you know how, like, there are those vertical videos with, like, a game being played and then someone describing something below it? It's, like, that bit for porn addiction or something like that. Yeah. It's, like, intense porn addiction. But anyway, having... Being a woman on the internet, I learned what that word was this week. Oh, fuck. I googled it. Do not do that. No. What the hell? Sorry, I googled. Can you pull over my mouth? I googled. I googled. I googled. Yeah. Are you getting rid of the goon? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I googled gooning. And I'm going to need the office. Okay. It's possible to vomit up your own vehicle. Thank you. Wow. Can I get apologies from three? Yes. I will. I'm sorry. Well, you convinced me when you said that it could happen. I just wasn't sure if that's how... I wasn't. I wasn't convinced. I went and died. Okay. You will then... I don't need an apology from you, Annie. I do a apology. I still want the story from the real... From the horses now. From the friend of the horse. I can give you that. Annie, what's the wedding podcast you're doing? It is called Wedding Disasters with Annie Louie. And it's a six-part podcast and podcast. It's so beautifully done in the stupid old studios. Set design amazing stuff. And we interview people related to the wedding industry or people who have been to her disastrous weddings. So someone who came along to talk about a wedding she was in as a flower girl, Lena Moon. I feel like bad weddings and bad funerals just follow her around because I did a web series about funerals and she was in it as well. So she's very versatile. The common thread is she has a very chaotic family. So that was a real highlight. Oh, she's cursed. Oh. Yeah. I'm never inviting it anything. I want it to go well. No, I want more pungons. More family pungons. I want to marry into that family. Well, that sounds like it's a fun. Indeed, indeed. Yeah. So as a celebrant, there's not enough disastrous weddings. Like people expect it to be drama filled, but a lot of the time they plan out quite well these days. But I think often the disasters are the celebrants. So you're probably not hearing that. That's true. The train wreck. Yeah. Yeah. It didn't even come up. But there was a reason when I did earlier this year where I'd suffered a terrible allergic reaction that day from using a new makeup product. So my face was completely like burning up. And I still had to, I had to do, they requested stand up comedy for a audience that like was already wasted, didn't care for anything. You have to bring them back and force them to listen. Well, I'm like, oh God, I don't want to be in here. I've got a wealth on my face. And like one of the, the uncle's looks like he wanted to murder me because I've made fun of him. Or something, you know. And you're trapped there as well at the event. Yeah. Yes, obliged to complete the event because it's always about what the couple wants. And they said, we wanted stand up comedy, even if these other 250 people die. There's so many scenarios where someone organised something is a big comedy fan. And then they're just putting it on to all these people who haven't asked for it, don't want it. And he's like, I know, I will do it, but I can tell this is not going to go well. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yes. Exactly. Have you done that? They just want to hang out. Have you done comedy somewhere where you really weren't wanted? Oh, any of you? Yes. Worst gig ever. Improvert a bucks party. They didn't want it. It was at in the cricket club of Melbourne grammar. So already we're rocking out there knowing this is not the crowd. We were meant to do a 30 minute set last at 15. Truly like it was me, there was two other girls on the team as well. The obscenities that we yelled at us. But it was truly, we got paid like 20 bucks each and it was horrific. It was truly horrific. Who organised this? I'll have to be careful. But essentially it was someone. It was a woman who used to be in this kind of improv community and she was getting married. One of the members of the grooms party was like, "Oh, we'll get the groom to do improv." And he'll get up on stage with them and it's something he can enjoy his fiancé's hobby. But truly throughout the whole thing people yelled at like, "Where are the strippers?" And like things like that. So yes, that is the worst environment. But I don't really fear bombing anymore because it can't be worse than that. Yeah. What about you guys? What are you saying? I guess you were going, "Strip is great." Okay. So we're out of strippers. And here we go. We need an occupation. "Strip is okay, great." And I'm done. No one will do it again. Okay. Truly, truly. One of the nights that I've been running here we have outsourced to an improv duo. And so I go in to watch and make sure the show runs well. But one night we had a father and son go up and everything that was suggested. All of their lines were just completely sexual. And it was coming from the dad. So like, you know, imagine like, yeah, like a 60 year old guy with his like, you know, 35 year old son and your dad just keeps yelling, "Blow job." Oh. Oh. And he's going along with it. Like, like he's just used to his dad. Like, "Oh, dad, dad, you crazy guy." He really loves anal, my dad. That sounds funny, but that's just him. That's Greg. Yeah. And so any sort of party have done a few birthday parties and stuff. And it's like the birthday girl, the birthday boy, they love stand up. But everyone's like, "Wait, what's going on? Who's this guy?" Yeah, I just like... She really... She likes me and she thinks I'm funny. Who are you? Yeah. Anyway, um... Isn't a private event like at a house or they booked a venue? Yeah. Well, the one I'm thinking of was it a... Yeah, it was like a... Like a... A hall. But, you know, everyone's just standing around having fun. And it's like, "Everyone's stopped having fun for a bit. Speeches are hard enough." Oh, yeah. And they're hearing about someone they know. It's like, "I don't know this person. I can't do any jokes about them. I'm going to do my stuff that is irrelevant." I'm getting shitty as you're thinking about this. It's the true nightmare of being like going to a party and not knowing anyone. Which is already the scariest thing, even if you're not doing stand up there. And then having to like, be funny. Oh, wow. Disgusting. Beautiful thing is you just get to go straight after. Yeah. I'm like Annie. The wedding. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You're like, "Okay, great. Now they hate me. We start to do the bokeh toss." Yeah. Fantastic. Hey, I love the power to make this wedding a null and void. So you better laugh it up. I'll tear up the papers and not submit it yet. It's one thing that my family and friends know me for, it's being an amazing gift giver. I owe it all to Celebrations Passport from 1800flowers.com, my one stop shopping site that has amazing gifts for every occasion. With Celebrations Passport, I get free shipping on thousands of amazing gifts. And the more gifts I give, the more perks and rewards I earn. To learn more and take your gift giving to the next level, visit 1800flowers.com/acast. That's 1800flowers.com/acast. [BLANK_AUDIO]

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