CPE Church
Proverbs | Wise words give life | Ps Matt
All right, well good morning everyone. My name is Matt and we're going to be spending more time in Proverbs unpacking some of the great themes and ideas there about the way that we use our speech. Now I'm not sure what you guys were discussing earlier, but I have this moment to see it in my mind. I think I'm about 9 or 10 years old. I was trying to be a friend of mine and he kind of was just going on and on about all of his his sporting prowess as a runner, long jumper, cross country and it was very much just going to the world of boasting and pride and this is our young 9 to 10 year old brains here. I don't remember just feeling this intense need to want to find a way to one up him in some particular way. So what I did is I picked out the three prettiest girls in our class and I said, "Hey, did you know that they all really like me?" And he was immediately skeptical and he was like, "Oh really? I'm going to go and ask them." So you guys are ever any ask girls and I just remember this intense moment of embarrassment of like, you know that moment where you're just like, "I wish I could just disappear right now, please. The earth just swallowed me up and made me disappear. I totally immediately regretted making that statement." See sometimes you reap what you sow and that's very much the world that Proverbs has been presenting to us that actually your actions in your life have consequences. There are consequences to the words that you speak. So that's our topic for today as we continue on Proverbs. We're in this middle section of Proverbs. You know all these kind of little short proverbial sayings there we heard last week about the need to really slow down as we're reading these Proverbs. It's a kind of part of the Bible where you can't just skim through a whole section and just kind of gather the point of what it's saying. You actually need to slow down and unpack each one to really feel what's going on there. To think about when would this apply? How does this actually change my life? Now it's not just a series of commands to help your life go better but actually we see it's about a moral drama that happens in your life that's poured in the center of every human heart that's played out in your everyday life, in your relationships, in your family, in your household at work, in your speech. See those little moments matter because they reflect something of your heart. That every word that we speak says something about what's important to us. Now Proverbs covers a whole range of topics but actually one of the main topics all the way through Proverbs is how we use our tongues. How we use our tongues, how we use our speech. These are things that affect us and our relationships significantly. It's one of the main differentiators between the wise and the foolish. As your words are one of the most powerful tools that you have. Proverbs says that your tongue is a superpower. Did you see it in there? Proverbs chapter 18, verse 21. The tongue has the power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruit. Get that the tongue. It's a power of life and death. Right we are talking, this is maybe for the teens out there. There is a talk in Thanos and the five infinity stones. He clicks his fingers and there goes half of life in the universe and then someone else clicks their fingers again and and a half of the universe reappears again. That's the power of our words. The power to give life or to take it. Now metaphorically speaking of course is about the way that you interact in your life and relationships. You can be breathing life into people or you can be taking it from them. And that is a responsibility that we have to take seriously to take another superhuman superhero quip with great power comes great responsibility. One of the biggest things that will affect you, your life and your relationships is the way that you use your tongue. And see the second half of the problem played that out for us didn't it? Those who love it will eat its fruit. Now what I think that means is that you've got to embrace this power tank responsibility for it because you will eat the fruit of it. You bear the consequences of your words. Your tongue will either produce the fruit of relationships that are sweet to the souls, sweet to use, sweet to them or you'll produce fruit that is rotten and diseased and you will eat of it one way or another. As you see today's sermon is all about how to use that power wisely to give life not death, to create harmony, not conflict, to build up and not to tear down, to heal and not to harm. You see James probably perhaps even played that out. You can see James is really playing into that same space isn't it? He talks about the danger of the tongue where we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us we can turn the whole animal. We'll take ships as an example although they are so large and driven by strong winds they are steered by a very small rider wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a very small part of the body but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest has set on fire by a small spark. The tongue is also a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body, corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one's life on fire and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures can be tamed and have been tamed by mankind but no human contained the tongue. It is a restless evil full of deadly poison. Friends our words can harm. Still to this day there will be people who sit here and can remember words that were spoken to them. The parent that body changed you the friend that said that you unlikable the bully who said that you're useless or stupid. The ex-partner said that you're unattractive. These are things that are burning that will seer into your conscience. That old school come back so sticks and stones make break my bones but words will never hurt me. Could not be more wrong could they? Words are powerful. Proverbs gives a whole bunch of warnings about the ways in which our tongues can start a bushfire. Take gossip for example. Gossip. The words of a gossip are like choice morsels. They go down to the most parts. Proverbs highlights that there is a temptation to gossip isn't there? It's like the headlines on the magazines that sell juicy gossip or clickbait titles. Celebrity love triangle explodes. You'll never guess who betrayed who? What really happened between these two celebrity stars? It's not hard to see that playing out in your workplace too right? It's like someone's got something interesting or gossipy to kind of share and everyone kind of gathers around and wants to share and get oh I can't believe they did that. I can't believe they're like that. Maybe it's a better co-worker or a patient or a client and everyone gathers around. It's like this this form of social bonding that happens and it makes you feel proud to kind of be like a bit more superior than others and it's the way that gossip tends to put down and it's like a choice meal. It's the thing that is enticing to you. What was Proverbs that goes down to the innermost parts? It can actually quite deeply affect someone. It can deeply affect your view of them and it can deeply affect their reputation amongst others. There was Proverbs say, warns us against it. A perverse person stirs up conflict and a gossip separates close friends. A gossip betrays confidence but a trustworthy person keeps a secret. You see there is kind of this perversity about gossip right? Gossip often it's really all about manipulating a kind of social hierarchy like shows like Gossip Girl used to kind of really play into that. It's all about kind of watching girls just manipulate each other to be able to climb up the social ladder to drag others down the social ladder and people watch this for entertainment apparently. What does Proverbs do? Wands us against gossip. We can separate friends the way that it betrays confidence. So Proverbs warns us avoid gossip. Now it's always worth asking that question. If I'm sharing something, is it for the good of that person or is it for my entertainment at their expense? Now often when you have conversations about gossip people need to ask, well what is gossip and what isn't gossip right? I think it's not gossip say if you're speaking to your doctor, therapist, past friend, mentor someone you're trying to actually resolve issues and conflicts in your relationships right? You can't do that without sharing some information and it's ultimately about trying to restore. It's about for a good purpose. If someone's already shared something publicly, that's not gossip. If you're speaking positively about it, if you're actually lifting their up raising their reputation that's not gossip. If you're speaking about things about things that maybe you've been hurt or you've been impacted by someone, I don't think that's gossip either. But what is gossip? I think gossip is this. When you're speaking to raise your own social standing, maybe it's to vent your own anger about something at someone else's expense right? It drags them down. When you share something that was said to you in confidence, when you're speaking negatively and actually yet you are bringing down their reputation, when you're speaking about speculation or hearsane. Now gossip is a very stark example and this may be a more obvious example for us. The damage can be very obvious and quite painful for people. Some of us struggle with the allure of that a lot. Some of us just a little. But something I don't think is actually much more common and something that is just as dangerous, harsh or reckless words. Harsh or reckless words. Proverbs 12, 18. The words of the reckless pierce like swords but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Think about rash things that you might have said. Things that have caused deep hurt and damage to others. Like swords piercing flesh. Great wounds can be caused by a few words. That's why the whole sticks and stones thing. No, these words are like swords and daggers in comparison. What does this happen? What is going on for us? Look sometimes it is just a plain lack of social awareness right? All of us may have a different level of emotional intelligence. This is quite the word for it's EQ you might hear of it said. Social awareness is just one of those things. Some of us have more of it. Some of us have less of that. But it is something that you can grow in right? It's something that actually you can get better at. You can learn some active listening skills right? Learn to kind of listen better. Learn about people's body language and taking their cues. Ask people about reflect on the impact of your words. Ask others about the way that you interact with them. There's ways to get feedback and to grow in your social awareness. But sometimes the sword is wielded with intent to cause harm. Here's a bunch of ways that we cause harm to each other like swords. Pash startups and criticism whereas like you never do this. You're always like that. sarcasm, yelling, interrupting, shaming. Can't believe you did that. Comparison. Why can't you be more like that person? That's sibling. Passive aggressiveness. Fine. I'll do the dishes again. Dismissiveness. Get over it. It's really not a big deal. Prince, let me say that was actually a really hard list, right? If you've never kind of used or said any of these words that have come from your mouth before, then you are a perfect person. I want to kind of meet you and learn from you because chances are you have used or employed some of these in some way. But maybe the reason that it hurts the most is because we've all experienced this. We've all been on the receiving end of this. When someone has said these words to us. Now let's step back for a moment and ask, why? What is it that drives us to do this to each other? Well, actually, Proverbs speaks a lot about the need for self-control. And look at this, these Proverbs, Proverbs 15, verse 18. A hot-tempered person stirs up conflicts, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel. Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Now, notice that this isn't saying that you can't have emotions, right? Don't have emotions like if your emotions will make you do do bad things. Actually, even the wise have emotions. But it's the way that you deal with your emotions that matter, right? The wise bring calm in the end is that there's an ability to control your anger, to regulate your emotions, to not lash out in a hot-tem, to say something you'll regret later. So just take yourself, take your mind back to a moment in which maybe you said something that you regret. You were certainly mean to a friend or it was a lazy coworker that you lashed out at. You're frustrated as someone that you do ministry with. Your spouse did that thing for the 11th time. As parents, you said something to your kids that you merely regret it. How many of those situations were you actually already worked up for a particular reason? Your adrenaline is rushing, or maybe you just tired, you're exhausted, you're at your wit's end. You see, in those moments, we are liable to saying something that will hurt, that will pain, will inflict someone, will take the pain and the struggle or the impatience or the stress and would lash it out on others. You see, Proverbs points out that actually we need strategies ways to bring calm into our relationships and not our aggressive, passive aggressiveness or our dismissiveness, our shaming of others as we try to deal with our own emotions. Something which needs to take a walk, listen to some music, meditate, pray, whatever it is, you need to go away sometimes. Walk away, calm down. But maybe you're someone who feels like you're always on edge. You're constantly like this. You're always angry in your home. It might be that you don't just need to reconsider your words, you might need to reconsider your whole life. At the amount of stress that you take on, how many balls that you're juggling, you know, it shows you can always come back to your career. You can always earn more money, but you can't always provide a safe and psychological safe and calm environment for your kids to grow up in. You just see so many families struggling, the tense at home at the time, the yelling at their kids, the dissatisfied with their lives, and let me just say, frankly, that if you're always angry at your kids, the problem may be you, not them. And I talk to struggling marriages where tiny little issues become rash words that create conflict and anger and disconnection. You see, sometimes some of us are just always highly strung, and our life's just kind of structured that way, and we need to be able to step back. We need to develop strategies to be calm and be a calm presence in the midst of others. See, I think being a calm presence might require a bunch of these things. Exercise, sleep, nutrition, hobbies, interest, healthy boundaries, the ability to say no to things, journaling, reflection, meditation, mindfulness, time in nature, time with your friends. Trust me, your friends and your family, your spouse will thank you for taking the time out to look after yourself, to calm yourself. Your company, your patients, your clients will understand because you will be actually a healthier person. You will bring a calmness into your relationships in a way that doesn't drag you towards anger and lack of self-control. But let me say this to you as well. If you find like this is just too hard, maybe someone said to you, you're just a really prickly character. There's just something about you. It may actually be that you have some deep trauma in your past. There's a lot of good research that's going into this. Maybe if you're just really on edge all the time, but actually if you track back, there's probably some underlying trauma that's been there for you. Maybe you looked at that list of harmful words and just saw you're like, "That was my life. That was my childhood. That was my past relationship." Well, you never felt safe. You were constantly overwhelmed. You can tick all those boxes as weapons that were used against you. Can I just say, I'm very sorry, my heart breaks for you. If that was you, if that was your experience, that should never have happened to you. And you know this because you feel the experience. You feel the struggle of this every day. Prince of that's you. Some of these strategies aren't just nice things to do on the slide. They might be life-giving things for you. They might be the most important things that you can do. You know, none of this was your fault, but it might be your responsibility still to go and do something about it, to seek help, to speak to a trauma therapist, to get someone to help you process that stuff. So you don't continue extending this on to others. You know, there's this whole space amount of herd this phrase into generational trauma. It's this idea that actually people have been really hurt and traumatized and repeat that, bring that anxiety, bring that stress and then dump it onto their kids who then develop the same strategies and then they dump it onto their kids and and some of the studies have shown that this stuff goes on for seven, eight generations time. That's how much damage can be done without taking the time to heal and to actually sort through our trauma. It's heavy stuff, isn't it? But important stuff. And if you want to kind of talk more about that, come and chat to me afterwards. Now, probably this actually gives us another strategy though, in the midst of all of this. The strategy of knowing how to choose your battles, not let everything face you. Proverbs 12, 16. Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook and insult. In fact, one of the key strategies that are quite a proverbs is learning when not to say anything at all. Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues. Proverbs 17. The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint. Whoever has understanding is even tempered. Even fools are thought-wise if they keep silent and discerning if they hold their tongues. Like the old saying goes, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. It's wisdom according to proverbs. So you know what, as much as this is about wise words, it's about wisdom in knowing when not to use words, when to hold back, when to be able to overlook things and to have a bit of forbearance to forgive things and not kind of have to bring everything up. But let me go to the other spectrum. Now, that doesn't mean that you bring nothing up, okay? Because this can definitely be kind of a cultural thing, like we just never deal with issues, always sweep it on the carpet. We don't bring anything out of the open because we don't want to create conflict. We don't want to create disunity. Actually, Proverbs has a lot to say also about honest and candid speaking to each other. We saw that last week because we talked about friends and friendships and being candid in them. So let's look at honest and gentle words. Honest and gentle words. Proverbs 15. A gentle answer turns away Roth, but a harsh word stirs up anger. An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips. Proverbs 26, 24. You see, there are times when you have to give an answer. There are times when you need to bring things up, right? Yes, keeping things not kind of bring every single kind of little nitty gritty thing up is a good and wise idea, but there are times when you need to be candid. You need to be honest. You need to bring stuff up. But the way in which you do that can be the difference. The difference between a gentle answer and a harsh word that creates more conflict. There is a way that words can be used in a way which is honest, but calm and healing as well. Now, I wanted to raise the book that I've been reading recently. It's a super helpful book. It's called Non-violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. There's another one there that's actually super helpful for parents. I've got how to talk, so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk, but I'm going to focus on non-violent communication because I found this super helpful as I've been thinking about how to be able to kind of talk and share really honestly with each other, but in a way that isn't kind of creating more conflict or disconnection with people. This is sort of the non-violent communication rubric, the way that they think about things I think is very helpful. So, you know, most of the way in which we're trained is about making evaluations, making judgments on each other, right? We hear something, we make a judgment, we demand things, need to be said. It is the NVC way to kind of approach and say, no, no, don't make evaluations and interpretations, make observations, things that you noticed, right? It's sort of the opposite of the whole harsh startup idea. Don't go in the start evaluating someone off the get-go, just make an observation. Start really just dispassionately what happened, what were the things that you observe? It's not even what you think the facts are, but actually just what did you see from your perspective, right? It's not arguing that these are necessarily the facts, then express your feelings. How did you feel about that situation? How did the things impact you? He says, well, feelings are often really correspond to a particular need that you have or a value that you hold. And so go and share about your feelings and then about your needs that actually that, yeah, maybe someone crossed the line for you because that was something that was important for you or maybe something triggered you in a particular way because you've been hurting that way before. Now, for those couples who've done any kind of pre-marriage or pre-engagement counseling with Bonnie and I, we kind of run through some of this stuff and we have this great exercise where we sit couples down and we say, okay, let's talk about feelings and we kind of go through kind of some scenarios and situations and conflicts that they've had. We get them to kind of try and go through this where they just go, observe stuff about each other and then tell me how you felt about that. Well, don't tell me, tell your partner about how you felt about that and then try expressing that then as a need or something that you actually needed in that moment. And it's kind of fun as the observer because I was just going to sit there and watch people squirm a bit. But there's some beautiful moments that happen because sometimes, for the first time, people have been really honest about some of the deep seated needs and values that they have together, that they bring up stuff that they haven't really been able to articulate before they sort of feel and react to stuff. They haven't really been able to articulate that. You see them articulated to each other and it's a beautiful thing. It's a beautiful thing. And then that last step, requests, right? Concrete actions that we actually request that might really enrich our lives and enrich our relationship. This is how you speak honestly to each other and you bring stuff up in a way that maintains the connection speaking from your heart, right? See, I think there's a whole bunch of things. Check out the book. You can look up, there's actually courses, free courses online on YouTube and on Spotify and things as well. But actually the book's got this other thing that's really cool. It's got these quizzes to kind of help you kind of get up your vocabulary on this. And I thought we'd just do one, okay? Just because this is kind of fun. I don't want to kind of get cheap workshop about this because you don't have the time for that. But here's a similar one to work out with the person next to you. Okay, which of these are actually expressing a feeling, okay? I'm going to give you a minute, okay? And these are trickier than you think they are. But have a chat to the person next to you. Which of these are actually expressing a feeling, okay? I have a chat to the person next to you. I'll know how to drink. [inaudible] All right, I'm going to run you through what I think and you can kind of compare it to what you think. Number one in my mind is not a feeling, not a feeling. It's an accusation dressed up as a feeling. Do you get that? Because it's not actually what you feel. It's actually about what something, what they, maybe what they don't do, okay? So in my mind, that's actually not a feeling, even though it's stated as a feeling. Number two, it's number two of feeling, expressing a feeling. Yes, so I think number two may be the most obvious one. Yes, I'm sad because of the situation that's happening. Number three, a feeling? No, that's clearly an evaluation. That's clearly a judgment. About number four, when you don't greet me, I feel neglected, a feeling or not. This one might be the trickiest of them. In my mind, this is not a feeling. This is not a feeling, okay? Let me tell you why. Because neglect is something that somebody does to you. That's not something that you feel. I would say something like I feel lonely because of, for me, that would be a feeling. Number five, I'm worthless, feeling or not. I'm going to suggest to you that this is not a feeling either, okay? This is you making a value judgment on yourself, okay? Number six, I feel scared when you say that. A feeling? Yes, a feeling. See, it's not actually as easy as it looks, is it? See, I think the whole non-violent communication thing, which is really super helpful, it's all about withholding judgment and evaluation. You're not making an evaluation on the other person. You're not making an evaluation on yourself, you're not making an evaluation on the situation. You're simply actually speaking from your perspective, the things that you notice. You're speaking from your language, so you're speaking with I-words, not kind of you did that or you're like this. Speaking about feelings that you feel, the impact that something might have had on you. It's really about your own hearts, your needs, your values, things are important to you. It's about requesting not demanding action, like you have to do this, okay? Now, that's a whole workshop in itself. I kind of did that for you in about five minutes, but you could definitely spend a lot more time with that. I highly recommend that resource to you. Now, that's all about kind of avoiding the things that can hurt and harm people. What about a positive end? What are the ways in which words, since you saw those problems, those words can, not only can they damage and bring death, but they can bring healing and life too. And this might be maybe my favorite proverb of the whole lot. Here we go, Proverbs 16, verse 24. Gracious words are a honeycomb sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. What I love about this is this. It doesn't matter how much pain or things that you might have or damage that has been caused in a relationship. There is always, always the possibility of healing. There are ways to heal conflicts, to forgive, to bring kindness, to come, to kind of actually, you know, take something that was a hard and a broken place, to actually something that is healed and together. It's like honeycomb sweet to the soul, healing to the bones. What does it say? It's about gracious words. Kind words. Words that don't assume the worst in others. Words that are giving people the benefit of the doubt. Words that actually encourage and affirm and appreciate and build up. And those positive things can bring healing to people. See, maybe right now out there, there are relationships, marriages, friendships, family relationships that are just broken. You feel like you haven't been able to see it, why you just seem locked in these negative cycles of accusations and judgments and evaluations and stuff that you're just feeling really hard to let go of. Friends, there is a pathway back. There is healing, requires work, humility, candor, honesty, grace and mercy. You know, friends, as you're willing to kind of open up, bring that stuff out, confront each other in healthy, non-violent ways. There are words that can bring healing to the bones, to the very deep inside parts of us. There are words that we can turn things around. We can turn it from the way from that negative space, to that positive space that you can turn, you know, relationships that are mostly negative can become mostly positive. It's said that you need five positive statements to offset one negative one. There are ways to kind of start reforming and reframing the way that you do relationship to each other, in a way that is positive and healing, kind and gracious, merciful and forgiving. Friends, that means actually lowering yourself, bringing yourself down. It means seeking the good of the other. It means putting away your pride and your anger and learning to deal with that in healthy ways. So to the parents, spouses, friends, siblings out there, are your words giving life into those relationships? You know, in a Biblical way, it ultimately all comes from the heart, doesn't it? All comes down to our hearts. In Luke chapter 6 verse 45, a good man brings good things, that are the good stored out of him, in his heart. And then evil man brings out evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart, for the mouth speaks what the heart is for. We heard earlier the bit that we read out from James, talks about springs of water. What kind of water is flowing out of you? See, I think that's what it comes down to is we talk about words and we talk about the way, but we're not just talking about strategies to kind of have better relationships. We're talking about our hearts. What's deep down inside of us? About heart is full of pride, anger, insecurity. It's full of pain and wounds and trauma. Then what's going to come out of that? It's going to show itself in your words. One of the ways actually that I've picked up in reading some of the books on this is thinking not just about your words to other people, but your words to yourself. What's the way that you think and treat yourself? How much judgment and evaluation do you keep piling upon yourself? Those who have compassion and kindness on themselves bring out compassion and kindness to others. Those who maybe think lowly of themselves tend to find them, try to keep finding ways that assert yourself over others through gossip or boasting or big noting yourself. You know, friends, the secular answer out there in the books is it's self-compassion, it's self-forgiveness, self-love. You got to reparent yourself. This is kind of the stuff that's out there. Do some inner work. Now, I actually think that's all really good and helpful and useful stuff and definitely our stuff worth engaging in. But what I feel like when I read these books is I feel like saying this. I feel like saying, what if I could tell you that there is a perfect love, a perfect self-giving love that you can experience, that there is a compassion and of a giveness and a mercy, that is greater than anything that you can find from any human being, greater than any partner or parent could give you. What if I told you that you do have a parent, a gracious and kind parent? One whose mercy and grace means that you have nothing left to prove, who really gives you what you don't deserve, who can give you a love and security beyond anything that we can gain from this world, who knows your past, your trauma mistakes, your foolishness and accepts you anyway, who wants to cure your wounds, who yearns to raise and mature you, to be a self-giving love of yourself, who invites you into his family to learn and be discipled to be like Jesus. One John chapter 4 and this is love, not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his son to be the propitiation for our sins. The love that if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God, but if we love one another, God hides in us and his love is perfected in us. No friends, deep down what we need most of all is love, isn't it? And what greater love is there than this, that the love of the God his senses one and only son for us to tie for us, for our sins. Friends, if you would let that love transform your heart, from it would flow rivers, rivers of living water, of words that would bless and nourish others, your speech would be as sweet as honeycomb. Friends, if you are a Christian here today, then you already know that love. So my question to you today is are you dwelling on that love? Every day are you preaching to yourself the gracious words of the gospel, that are getting down to your bones, shaping your heart, shaping your sense of identity and your security and your goodness. Has it healed those deep wounds that might have been left by a parent or a partner or a spouse or a sibling? Those of you who have experienced that trauma or those put downs or those negative comments, Jesus can heal you, he can reshape your heart. As you experience that day by day, as you continue moving into the gospel, leaning on Christ in all those moments. Friends, if you don't yet have that relationship with Jesus, I'll just say this, I think you're missing out. I think you're missing out. You're missing out on the love, the perfect love, maybe the only pure and perfect love in this world. But if you experience it, it will transform your words, which will transform your relationships, which will transform your life. Let me pray for us in that. Heavenly Father, Lord, do you know the ways in which words have wounded and hurt us? Lord, do you know the ways in which our words have wounded and hurt others? Father, we ask for your forgiveness. We ask for your kindness and your compassion to flow over us and in us and through us. That we might be people who bring healing to others, gracious words that are sweet like honeycomb, that our lives, our friendships, our relationships, our families, would just exude the love and the grace and the mercy that you have shown us already in Christ. Father, we know that this is hard. We know that there are things in our past that make this difficult for us. But Lord, would you break through the hardness of our hearts? And would you show us, help us to learn to feel your love and kindness and presence that is with us every day? And might that pore from us and overflow from our hearts into the hearts of those around us? At least we ask in Jesus name. Amen.
Proverbs is full of teaching about how we use our tongue - either to build up or to destroy. Wise people use their words sparingly, lovingly and with great discretion