CPE Church
Proverbs 3-7 | The Value of Wisdom | Matthew Fong
All right, thanks Abby, and good morning everyone. My name is Matt, I'm with the pastors here at CPE Church. If you were expecting our brother, Michael Quark to be preaching this morning, he is sick, unfortunately, so you get me this morning. But anyway, I hope you had a bit of fun discussing that question because I think it's just one of those things, isn't it? We all kind of have that different vice for one people, it's one thing for another people is another thing, even just talking about how you just say I'm going, "Oh yeah, I realize that's another vice, Facebook marketplace." You know, this place is this parade of cheap things that people are trying to flog off and you end up buying things that you don't really need because they were kind of cheap and they were nearby or whatever. But probably the biggest one for me is salty snacks. For me, salty snacks, a really good packet of red rock deli chips, if it's a flavor that you're really into. For me, if there are salty chips anywhere in the house, I will find it and I will eat it. I used to be known, in an office I used to work in, they used to call me the snack bandit because people would have their little morning tea snacks and things and if it was salty, it would just sort of seem to disappear sometime in the day and eventually they discovered that I was the culprit, that I was the one kind of, you know, snacking on other people's snacks. In fact, I've tried hard not just to not eat them, but it doesn't quite work that way. It's just not that easy. In fact, I've realized that if I really want to do this right, I have to not have chips around me at all, that is, I can't have any in my home, that that also means that it means I've got to also avoid the chip aisle at the shops because if I just somehow find my way in there and one of my favorite flavors is on sale, I mean, how do you stop? How do you stop yourself? It finds its way into my trolley. But what's it for you? I don't know if you kind of mind went down the kind of food route for a lot of people, it's like ice cream or chocolate or something like that. Maybe for you, it's like the television, the world of streaming services, the temptation to have one more episode, it's like 11pm you should go to bed, but oh, but the cliffhanger, the cliffhanger, I've got to find out what happens, I've got to find out what happens and you let the auto play run through for you. Maybe it's the one more game mentality, it's like, oh, I really should get on now and do my study, but one more game, just one more. Maybe it's the couch when you're meant to be out doing some work. Maybe it's something that's a little bit more abstract or psychological, maybe it's like that negative self talk that you just find yourself constantly putting yourself down. You see, I think that's a battle that every human being on earth can empathize with. But we might know what we should do and you find it incredibly difficult to do it. Every day we're confronted by choices and decisions and paths to go down. The right path, the productive path, the healthy path, the good path, and then there's the other path, the temptation, the vice, the snack, whatever it might be. Now that's actually the metaphor, one of the key core metaphors that Proverbs uses about wisdom and foolishness, that we have two options, two paths in our life in which we can follow. So this pursuit that we saw last week, we saw about this pursuit of wisdom, okay? So life's very much about wisdom. What is wisdom? Wisdom's understanding how the world works and actually acting rightly in it, according to the way in which the world works, and then we saw that this whole pursuit really begins with the fear of the Lord, which is a short little phrase just to point out to us that this journey of wisdom becomes, and becoming wise, it really only starts when you're humble enough to realize that you need it, that you need it and you can't do it without God. That has become so wise in our own eyes that you think you've got life all down pat and you're just going to going along the way and think that I know what's right for me and I'll do what I want, I'll do what I feel like. In fact, very much what Proverbs says, and we're going to find out today, is don't follow your heart, your heart will lead you astraying. You see, if last week was all about the call to wisdom, this week's message is all about the temptations of foolishness. You see, on one hand you kind of think, oh, all the foolish, dumb, silly things, yeah, as soon as you know the right way, you will always choose the right way, but actually that's not true. We know it in ourselves, even in that little discussion question we had before, you can know the right way to go and yet still choose the path of foolishness. Now that little passage that Abby read out for us earlier, it was a passage you might have noticed there's about advice from a father to his son, and the father's trying to help his son understand that there are two paths in life and you need to learn to take the wise path. See, here's what he said, chapter 4 verse 1, "Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction, pay attention and gain understanding, I give you sound to learning, so do not forsake my teaching. So I too was a son to my father, still tender and cherished by my mother. Then he taught me and he said to me, 'Take hold of my words with all your heart, keep my commands and you will live.'" I think it's kind of unfortunate today that in all of our television programs, sitcoms and stuff that there's not the kind of wise fatherly figure anymore, like always the father today is kind of the goof bag, the kind of father who constantly stuffs up, does the wrong thing and needs to be corrected. But actually what we see here in Proverbs is just the reminder that actually one of the roles of fathers is to path wisdom to their sons, that this was a picture of a father who wants to make sure that his son, who's still young, still tender, cherished by his mother. So I don't know what age that could be. It might be a 10-year-old or 12-year-old, a young male kid, saying, "Listen to my teachings and learn from it. For this will go well with you in life if you learn from me." Last week at the Parenting Seminar, Greg Guyano was one of our presenters there and he told this great story about how with each one of his daughters, when they turned 13, he would take them out for a special day. So they'd all kind of get real dressed up, real dressed up really nicely and go to really expensive restaurant to make this a real memorable occasion. So it'd be this one-on-one daddy-daughter day thing going on. And he said they all remembered that, not just because of the setting and the kind of nice special moment, but because that was the moment that he had the chat to his daughters about boys, that he would sit them down at this beautiful, perfect setting, restaurant, everything, and he would have this very serious and important conversation with them about boys, about what to look for in a boy, about when to date, when not to you, about the fact that if the boy wants to date them, they have to go through him first. And he would kind of lay this out and they would remember this and they would take it to heart and they would all be able to go back and remember that moment when dad sat them down and had that conversation with them. See, that's the kind of picture of the fatherly figure who wants to pass wisdom to his children. Like hold of my wisdom, I will teach you, I will make you wise. And the actual metaphor he uses is that of a path. Verse 10, have a good down to verse 10, listen to my son, accept what I say and the use of your life will be many. I instruct you in the way of wisdom and will lead you along straight paths. When you walk, your steps will not be hampered. When you run, you will not stumble. Hold on to instruction and do not let it go, guard it well for it is your life. He points out the ways in which a wise son will follow and he says, if you follow down that straight and narrow path, life will go well for you. And if you deviate from that, which we'll see in a moment, life will not go well for you, the father passing wisdom to his sons. Now in these next few chapters, he explains a little bit more what it means, working hard, living justly with others, don't get drawn into dodgy deals with your neighbour in a whole bunch of other things. But he points out that there's not just one path, there are two paths you will be constantly confronted with two paths. Verse 14, do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evil doers. Avoid it, do not travel on it. Run from it and go on your way, for they cannot rest until they do evil. They are robbed of sleep till they make someone trouble. They eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence. The path of the righteous is like the morning sun shining ever brighter to the full light of day. But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness. They do not know what makes them stumble. See what's on the other path? It's the path of violence, wickedness, a restless evil. The kind that will ruin your life. He's pointing out the fact that you will always have two options in life. You never saw back in the corner that you have to kind of choose the wrong option. He's saying that you will have two paths. One will lead to sunshine, the full light of day, a life that will go well for you. And there is another path, a path that will go badly for you. And there is a restless evil that is constantly trying to deviate you from the path. All the straight and the narrow. You see, I think that's life, isn't it? Life we will always have two decisions, two options in front of us, at least. In fact, a huge amount of life comes down to just a few decisions, a few of those big decisions. What kind of work will you take or where you will live? Or maybe most importantly of all, what partner will you choose in life? In all of these choices, there will be temptations. And there will be wise choices and foolish choices. In fact, actually as the Father continues giving advice to his sons, the focus of his attention becomes about choosing the right woman. Chapter five, verse one, chapter five, verse one. My son, pay attention to my wisdom, turn your ear to my words of insight that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge. But the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil. But in the end, she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword. Her feet will go down to death, her steps lead straight to the grave. She gives no thought to the way of life, her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it. What does a father have to say to a young man, a son in which he wants to guide him on the path of life? He says there's one thing that will do more damage to your life than anything else, adultery. Now he's talking into a culture of arranged marriages in which the temptation to kind of look beyond the person that you are married to is great. But the truth is every marriage will have its bumpy seasons, and the temptation will be to look beyond it, beyond it for that intimacy, for that satisfaction. Now I remember talking to a friend who just come back from a business trip in which he said, he confessed me that actually a co-worker on this business trip had really come onto him during this trip, and had basically propositioned to him a one-night stand. He was married with kids. She was recently divorced and probably had a few to many drinks that night. But hey, when you're away from home and working and living from a hotel for a week, no one's to know. Who's to know any better? Now he did the honorable thing. He said no. In fact, he didn't just have to say it once. He had to say it a number of times. But I distinctly remember him telling me the reason why, and he said to me what he kept on repeating to himself through all of this was that you could lose everything. Your wife, your kids, half of everything you own, if you go down this path. And he said, yeah, I just had to keep telling myself this over and over and over, because the temptation is genuine, to have a kind of night free with another woman. But he thought through it, and he kept on preaching to himself, there are consequences that if I go down this path, though her lips might drip honey and she might promise you the world, she is bitter as gall and her steps lead to the grave. See men of CPE, who you sleep with will have a huge effect on your life. And sometimes they hear this said, oh, you know, why is the church so obsessed about who you sleep with? Honestly, just let people do what they want. But it would be a dereliction of my duty as a pastor to tell you to do that. For many men have shipwrecked their lives by sleeping with the wrong woman. Single men of CPE, they'll never to go down that path of temptation, train your body now to keep your path straight, train yourself to stay away from pornography, which will only tempt you to normalize things that are wrong and evil, set firm boundaries with your girlfriends and you be the one to take the lead and keeping that path straight and pure. And women of CPE, be faithful to your husbands and do what you can to help him. Beware of temptation when your marriage is not going well and you might be tempted to go and confide that in another man. Single women of CPE don't give in to the guy with the charms of the good looks, don't be tempted to push the boundaries of intimacy before it's time. Choose wisely, choose the Christian man who wants to honor God and would lead you in that path of wisdom. Don't even go near to that fire. In verse 7, see what he says, "Now then my sons listen to me. Do not turn aside from what I say. Keep a path far from her. Do not go near the door of her house. Let you lose your honor to others and your dignity to one who is cruel. This strangers feasts on your wealth and your toil and rich the house of another. At the end of your life you will groan when your flesh and body are spent. You will say, 'How I hate a discipline, how my hearts burned correction. I would not obey my teachers or turn ear to my instructors.' And as soon I was in serious trouble in the assembly of God's people." See where does he take? He says, 'If you follow this path, let me show you where it goes.' It leads to disaster. It will wreck your house. Your money will be divided amongst others, if for nothing else that you will lose half of all that you own. In fact, I'm going to read another passage out from you. This is from chapter 7, coming out into chapter 7 verse 6, because there's just all these beautiful vivid pictures of actually taking the path of foolishness. Chapter 7, he says, "At the window of my house I looked down through the lattice. I saw among the simple, I noticed, among the young men, a youth who had no sense. He was going down the street near her corner, walking along in the direction of her house. At twilight, as the day was fading, as the dark of night set in. There now came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute, and with crafty intent. She is unruly and defiant. Her feet never stay at home. Now in the street she, now in the squares at every corner she lurks. She took hold of him and kissed him, and with a brazen face she said, "Today I have fulfilled my vows. I have food from my fellowship offering at home, so I came out to meet you. I looked for you and have found you. I have covered my bed with coloured linens from Egypt. I have perfumed to my bed with Mer, allies and cinnamon. Come, let's drink deeply of love till morning. Let us enjoy ourselves with love. My husband's not at home. He has gone a long journey. He took his purse filled with money and will not be home till full moon. With persuasive words, she led him astray. She seduced him with her smooth pork, all at once she followed her, like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose, till an arrow pierces his liver like a bird darting into a snare little knowing that it will cost him his life. Now then my sons listen to me, pay attention to what I say. Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths. Many other victims she has brought down, her slain are a mighty throng. Her house is a highway to the grave leading down to the chambers of death. Did you follow the kind of story as he played it out? He saw a bunch of young men and one of them just kind of kept on inching closer and closer to the corner in which he knew what was there. He knew the temptation that was there for him. He didn't run in the other direction. He just kind of slowly kind of crept over, closer and closer to that line, closer and closer to temptation, until temptation grabbed whole of him, took him into her house and destroyed his life. You know it's funny because still to this day every single study has shown that the most sexually fulfilled people are found in faithful, monogamous, married couples. Every single study out there. You wouldn't know it though, listening to the world around us, to our supposedly sexually liberated world, that is the world of death and destruction. Now the focus on sexual sin here isn't I think because Proverbs is somehow obsessed with sex in particular, but because the most stark example of temptation, of the path to foolishness for a young man, receiving advice from his father. But it's an example of the many temptations that can ensnare us. So you could very easily switch the example to a young woman choosing the wrong man. Or in chapter 6 you see there's an example of being conned into some kind of a get rich scheme or the lies of laziness or gossip. There's many temptations that will come across in the story of Proverbs. But in some ways I think the point of this is this, that in the heart of every man is the temptation to foolishness. And foolishness is nothing less than spiritual adultery. Why? Because when God has laid out the path of what the good and honorable life is, what a life of integrity is, to turn your back on that and to try and seek elsewhere is adultery, spiritual adultery. Now this is the kind of most stark advice, but you could apply this to the kind of lots of other areas of life. Maybe it's the temptation of money. Maybe it's choosing the job for the extra buck while sacrificing your family or your time in church. Maybe you've got the other opposite temptation, which is to kind of pour all your life into your kids and then kind of neglect other aspects of life. For some it's the temptation to laziness, for others the temptation to overwork, for some it's the temptation to try and do everything, for some it's the temptation to have no boundaries to never say no. It's a huge amount of wisdom I think is learning of what your vices are and what your particular temptations are and how to avoid them. Now I don't know if you've ever heard of the marshmallow test, is it not a heard of the marshmallow test? It was this famous experiment done back in the 70s where they sat children into this little room and they would put a marshmallow in front of them. But then they tell them this, they say if you can wait 15 minutes, you can have two marshmallows. And the video you can look up some of the videos on YouTube of people repeating the test. It's great, you see kids just squirming, some of them are like trying to cover their eyes and they don't look at it. Some of them are literally like they're singing songs to just try and pass the time and they're trying to find any strategy possible which would avoid taking the marshmallow. And some of them would give in and be like, nah, stuff in, that's too long, I've waited too long, I can't wait, I'm going to take the marshmallow and then you see the ones who make it to the end and they get two marshmallows. Well the test is actually that they followed these children through life. They followed these children through life and found that those who were able to resist the temptation of taking the one marshmallow did significantly better in life. Financially, achievement wise, success in their life and their relationships in almost every marker. And what they concluded from that is that the ability to put off self gratification, immediate gratification is one of the key tool blocks to a successful life. That if you can just resist the kind of thing that might be leaping at you is kind of saying take me now, eat me, consume me, sleep with me, whatever it is, you can resist that for the thing that is better, life goes better for you. So what does the father here have to say then? Not just about the warnings to foolishness, but about then resisting the temptations of foolishness. Come back with me to chapter four, come back to me to chapter four verse 20, chapter four verse 20. My son, pay attention to what I say, turn your ear to my words. Do not let them out of your sight. Keep them within your heart for there are life to those who find them and health to one's whole body. Above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it. Keep your mouth free of perversity. Keep corrupt, talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Be careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the left or the right, keep your foot from evil. So having presented the problem before his son, the two paths, the two ways to go. The father then goes on to explain what you need to do if you want to resist a lure in the seduction of the path of foolishness. For one he says, guard your heart for everything else flows from it. The heart in biblical terms is not just a space of feelings or follow your heart, kind of Disney, kind of thing. Your heart is the source and the center of all that you do, of your decision making, your mind, your will, your emotions, everything flows from it. In biblical terms, the heart is the controlling center of all of that. In fact, a theologian called Thomas Cramner said this, what the heart loves, the will chooses and the mind justifies. What the heart loves, the will chooses, the mind justifies. Now what he's saying there is actually your heart controls everything else. Your heart, what you want, what you desire, what you hope for, what you fear. These are the things that will drive you and deep down inside of every human being is a heart that wants stuff, that desires things, that hopes for things. And so what does he say, guard your heart. Be careful about what you allow to influence your desires, what might stir up things in you that are not good for you. I think that might mean things like the media and the voices and social media and things that come into you. There's no lack of what's called thirst traps out there in social media land. You know, women who are willing to kind of put themselves out in social media in states of undress for the likes, for the followings, and you need to guard your heart. I think it means guarding your heart means also knowing, understanding your heart, what are the particular temptations for you. Everyone's heart is unique and different in its own way, and understanding that means guarding yourself from those ways in which you know that you are especially tempted. I think it means maintaining that spiritual moral integrity, that every day as those choices are presented for you, you will have a choice to go the wise path or the foolish path. And as you take the wise path, you will build that muscle up and it will get better and stronger, but at all as you continue to compromise your heart, you will continue to make your heart weaker and more prone to deception, to seduction. Number two, is you say keep your mouth free of perversity and corrupt talk from your lips. See, I think there's a way in which you speak has this profound way of actually shaping what's going on inside. I think it both reflects what's inside of you, but it also shapes what's inside of you. Right? Think about the jokes you make or the things that you entertain in your conversations. Avoid it, avoid that which is perverse or corrupt, avoid even entertaining it in jokes. See, if your speech reflects your inner thoughts and attitudes and it kind of reinforces it, if you keep your speech pure and honest, you align, you start to kind of actually align your heart with that too. Number three, keep your eyes looking straight ahead, your gaze directly before you. What he's saying is what's your mind occupied by? What are your eyes seeing? If you're focused on the righteous and the wise path, don't wave it by looking over here or looking over there, whether it's the boy or the girl or the job, the money, keep your eyes fixed on that which is good. Audit what your eyes see, audit the things that you take into it, but keep your eyes focused, fill it with God's will for you and keep your gaze directed on it and your path will go straight. You see what the father says, if you'll keep your eyes, your heart, your mind, your speech, your lips, you keep all of these aligned on the way of wisdom, then your feet will not stray down the path of temptation or foolishness. As Jesus himself said to us and taught in the sermon of the man, he said, "Do not store up for yourself treasures on earth where moth and vermin destroy, or where thieves break in and steal, but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven where moth and vermin do not destroy, where your thieves are not breaking in steel, for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also, there where you set your desires and your hopes, there your heart will be also." Enter through the narrow gate for why it is a gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction and many enter through it, but small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only if you find it. You know church, our lives are all laid out before us and we constantly have to choose between the paths. Temptation will be there, we'll be there to seduce you over to the path of foolishness. But church, let me pray for you that you guard your heart, that you keep your mouth pure, that you keep your eyes fixed ahead, and your feet will go on the path to wisdom and godliness. Let me pray for us in that, let's pray. Father God, we all know in our heart of hearts that we are all prone to the foolishness and the seduction of our world. Father will you help us to become enlightened to our own desires, to the idols that lurk within our hearts, the temptations, whether it's women, sex, money, fame, popularity, gossip, whatever it might be, Father. We ask that you might help us, you might reveal in our hearts that we might know how to guard our hearts, that we would guard our lips, that we would guard our eyes. Father we know that we have probably already made many mistakes, but we ask that your spirit would do a deep work in us, that our hearts would not just see the right path, but want to desire it and walk it. So we ask this, knowing that that path is narrow, but Lord, that is the path that you call us on, to honor Jesus and to honor the life that you have given us, and serve the people that you have placed in our lives. This we ask in Jesus' name, Amen. Church, why don't you take the moment now just to reflect on your own heart and to really bring that to God for yourself. All right, well, good morning, everyone. My name is Matt, and we're the pastors here at CPE, and welcome to those who are visiting friends, family from afar who are here as well. Great to have you all here with us. Now, as I mentioned, we've been working our way through the book of Proverbs, just from the Bible, a little passage, it's all about wisdom, wisdom from a long, long time ago, but wisdom, that's absolutely 100% still relevant for us today. Now I hope you had a little bit of fun discussing that question earlier before about those things. You know that they're bad for you, and yet you can't resist it. We had a good chat over there about our various fast foods, KFC, McDonald's, all that stuff that you love to take in, and totally regret afterwards, and then you do it again next week. So, for me, I'm known as a bit of a notorious snacker for me. Salty snacks for me are definitely my vice. If there's the right kind of packet of, you know, those red rock deli chips, and they've got all kind of cool, funky flavors, and if the right flavor is there and it's in my house, it will be eaten, okay? There's no question about it. In fact, in my old workplace, I was labeled by one of my co-workers as the snack bandit. You know why? Because not only would I snack on my snacks, but I kind of rock up for these chats with people at their desk, and then snack on their snacks while I was there, just, you know, flying by, dropping in to say g'day, of course. What I've long learned about this is, is that if it exists in my house, it will be eaten, okay? In fact, pretty much the only way to combat it is to not have it in my house at all. Like it's got to be literally got to be banned. That means when I'm at the shops, I also have to avoid that aisle, because even if I walk, do I just say walk down and I'll determine not to pick up a packet of chips? If the right one is on sale there, it somehow finds its way into my trolleys, like I just blank out and it just appears there, I don't know how it got there. It's sort of one of those very human experiences, isn't it? When you can know what's good for you, and then to go and do the very opposite, I think we can all empathize with that in some way. Maybe for you as well was a food-related thing, maybe it was more, maybe it was more ice cream, or chocolate, or maybe for you it's the whole streaming service thing where it's like the little bar comes up, it's 11 p.m. that says next episode in five seconds. And you're like, ah, but it's a cliffhanger, I've got to find out what happens, I've got to find out what happens and you let it roll through. Maybe you're a gay man, you're like, ah, just one more game, I still got enough time to study and to write that assignment. There's a battle that goes on in our daily lives, in every human being deciding between what we should do and what we want to do. And sometimes we take the right path, sometimes we take the wrong path, which I say that's actually the metaphor that Proverbs uses as we think about life in this world, about the path of wisdom and the path of foolishness. Now that's a key metaphor that's going to carry us all the way through this book, because this is a book that is all about wisdom, about helping us to live rightly and to choose the right path. Last week we saw the wisdom, what is wisdom, it's about actually understanding that this is how the world works, and that actually you've got to apply that by acting rightly in accordance to it. And we saw that actually the beginning of all of wisdom, the beginning of this pursuit of wisdom is that you've got to start with the fear of the Lord. Now what is the fear of the Lord? Well the fear of the Lord actually is about recognizing, humbling, that you need wisdom, that you can't find it just by being really kind of just, you know, put the blinkers on and being really wise in your own eyes, convince and overconfident about you and your view and what you once and what you're chasing after. It's actually being humble enough to realize you need wisdom, and especially that you need it from God. So that brings us to our passage today. So last week was all about wisdom, what is wisdom, pursuing wisdom. Well today is about the path of foolishness, the path of foolishness. You see this analogy of two paths is going to take us through about the next six or seven chapters in Proverbs. Now what you saw there in the passage that's secret earlier is the context of a father giving advice to his sons, okay, so you have a look with me in chapter four verse one, this is what it said, listen my sons to a father's instruction, pay attention and gain understanding. I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching, for I too was a son to my father, still tender and cherished by my mother, then he taught me and he said to me, take hold of my words with all your heart, keep my commands and you will live. So the setting is a father giving advice to a son that kind of wives are older sagely fatherly figure, passing on advice to a young man, you know I don't know exactly how young he might be 10, 12, 15, somewhere in that range. Now I was just thinking about this though, like we kind of live in a world in which wise fatherly figures are not really put before us very much, hey, like who are the fatherly figures in our sitcoms and television stuff, they're always goof bags, messing up, doing the wrong thing, they're actually very foolish, whereas I think the picture here in Proverbs is that actually fathers, dads, you have a responsibility to pass wisdom off to your sons, you know, we were at this, we were running this parenting seminar here last week and Greg Guy, no one of the presenters of the day, he talked about the fact that when each of his daughters turned 13, he would take them out on a special date, right, they get really, dressed up and go to a really fancy expensive restaurant and he said that all of his daughters remember this date, like it was just a one-on-one, daddy-daughter kind of thing but because they turned 13, he would sit them down and he would have the conversation about boys, about boys, you imagine that setting, we're out fancy and they're like yep, this really memorable moment and it's that moment where dad sat me down to talk about boys, what boys are like, what kind of boy should you pursue, what's dating, that actually if you want a boy to date you, they've got to come through me was his advice, that's kind of what's going on here, the whole father protecting, guiding, guiding his children, giving them direction about wisdom, about life, about what life's about, about how to live it well and he describes it as a path, it's a path to be taken, come down with me verse 10, chapter 4 verse 10, listen my son, accept what I say in the years of your life will be many, I instruct you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths, when you walk your steps will not be hampered, when you run you will not stumble, hold on to instruction, do not let it go, guard it well, for it is your life. So he passes on the advice to say well this wisdom that I am passing to you is valuable, it's important, it's about keeping you on the straight path of life and if you do this life will go well for you, life will go well if you live, you work hard, you pick the right person to marry, but then he goes on and he says but that's not the only path that will be presented to you, verse 14, do not set your foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evildoers, avoid it, do not travel on it, turn from it and go on your way, for they cannot rest until they do evil, they are robbed of sleep till they make someone stumble, they eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence, the path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter to the full light of day, but the way of the wicked is like deep darkness, they do not know what makes them stumble. So if there is a direct straight wise path to take, what's on that other path over there? Will he say there's wickedness, violence, a restless evil, something that's going to try to pull and drag you onto that path, things that will tempt you, decisions where you will have to choose which is the wise or the wicked path in that moment or the foolish path. And he points out that choosing the wise path will be like sunshine, like the sun rising in the morning, going down the foolish path is like stumbling through darkness. And he's really making that a point that I think we can all get, that in life often we come up when we've got two paths to take, do I date this guy or do I date somewhere else or do I date no one at all? Do I take this job or that job? Do I do this parenting thing or that parenting thing? Life's all about choosing between options and paths and choosing wisely will make the big difference between your life going well for you and life being really hard and rough for you. Now this father gives this advice to sons and actually one of the key focuses of his thing is about choosing the right woman. Proverbs 5, come with me to chapter 5, my son pay attention to my wisdom, turn your ears to my words of insight that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge. For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword, her feet go down to death, her steps lead straight to the grave. She gives no thought to the way of life, her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it. So what does a father say to a young man who's growing up and making his way in the world? He says this, that there is one thing that will do more damage to your life than anything else, adultery, adultery. Now this is father speaks to his son, he's speaking probably into a culture of arranged marriages, he probably didn't even choose your marriage partner, so there's probably the whole even, you know, I was kind of given this partner, but you know the grass is kind of big greener over there. But you know the truth is that every marriage is going to go through its bumpy paths and the temptation will be to look beyond it. You know I remember talking to a friend who just come back from a business trip and he confessed to me that actually during that trip a co-worker of his basically really came onto him and made a proposition to him for a one-night stand. Now he was a married man, she was a divorced woman, he probably had a few too many drinks that night, and he did the honorable thing and he said no. In fact he said to me he actually had to say no a number of times and I distinctly remember him telling me that the reason that he was able to say no even though that temptation was there, he's away from family away and all of that was right there before him, he said he kept telling himself this, he said I could lose everything from this, I could lose everything, I could lose my wife, my kids, I could lose half of all my assets everything I own for what, for one night's pleasure with another woman. You see he got something they didn't mean that there are consequences, problems is all about consequences of our actions, that there are consequences of sleeping with someone that you ought not to and though her lips might drip with honey and promise you the world, she will be bitter as gawl and her steps lead to the grave. You see this father's not pulling any punches is he? He knows the seriousness of sexual sin and he asks his son that question and I think he asks us that question too. Men of C.P. who you sleep with will have a huge effect on your life and sometimes I hear this well honestly why is the church so obsessed about who people sleep with? The truth is it would be a dereliction of my duty not to advise you on this for many men have shipwrecked their lives by sleeping with the wrong woman. Married men, how are you going, being faithful to your wife, not looking beyond, not kind of dream, not even fantasizing about other women. Single men vow never to go down the path of temptation, train your body now to stick to that straight path, stay away from pornography which you only tempt and train you to normalize things that are wrong and evil. Set firm boundaries with your girlfriends that you would be the one taking the lead to keep you together as a couple on the path of purity. And women of C.P.E. be faithful to your husbands. Do what you can to keep growing and fostering that part of your relationship. Beware of temptation when your marriage is not going well and your temptation might be to go and confide in another man. Work hard, communicate well. And single women of C.P.E. don't give in to the guy with the charms and the good looks, don't be tempted to push the bandage of intimacy before it's time. No, stay the path. Choose the man who will lead you towards Christ in whom you can do life together. Don't even go near that fire of temptation. Verse 7, "Now then my sons listen to me. Do not turn aside from what I say. Keep to a path far from her. Do not go near the door of her house, lest you lose your honor to others and your dignity to one who is cruel, lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil and rich the house of another. At the end of your life you will groan when your flesh and your body are spent. You will say, 'How I hate to discipline, how my hearts burned correction. I would not obey my teachers or turn my ear to my instructors, and I was soon in serious trouble in the assembly of God's people." Father says, "Don't tempt it. Don't even go near there because look at where this will lead you. It will lead you to a place of ruin and destruction of needing discipline and correction." Now I love what he actually, this kind of theme comes up a few times over the next few chapters, but come and flip over with me in chapter 7. Flip over with me in chapter 7 because there's a real vivid story of this story of temptation there. Verse 6, chapter 7, verse 6, "At the window of my house I looked down through the lattice. I saw among the simple, I noticed among the young men, a youth who had no sense. He was going down the street corner near her corner walking along in the direction of her house at twilight as the day was fading as the dark of night set in. Then out came a woman to meet him dressed like a prostitute with crafty intent. She was unruly and defined, her feet never stay at home. Now in the street, now in the squares at every corner she lurks. She took hold of him and kissed him with the braids and face she said, "Today I fulfilled my vows. I have food from my fellowship offering at home. So I came out to meet you. I have looked for you and I have found you. I have covered my bed with colored linens from Egypt. I have perfumed my bed with mer allys and cinnamon. Come, let us drink deeply of love till morning. Let us enjoy ourselves with love. My husband's not at home. He has gone a long journey. He took his purse filled with money and will not be high until full moon." With persuasive words, she led him astray. She seduced him with her smooth talk. All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life. "Now then my sons listen to me. Pay attention to what I say. Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths. For many other victims she has brought down and slain are a mighty throng. Her house is a highway to the grave leading down to the chambers of death." Did you get this story? You get this story of him just observing and seeing a bunch of young men and one of them kind of just kind of creeping near and near, heading down to the corner. He knows what's there. He knows what awaits him there. And yet he doesn't stop himself. He doesn't turn around and go, "No, I should walk away." See the field of temptation there is normal, but to kind of keep walking and heading headlong into it throws him into danger, into a snare, into a trap that will cost him his life metaphorically. You see, there's a very clear message there, isn't it? Don't go there. Don't play with fire. Don't even get near to that place. Flea from it. Don't be conned by a world that preaches sexual liberation, sexual freedom. Still to this day every single study ever shown its own, the most sexually fulfilled couples are in faithful, monogamous, married couples. The liberal world out there when it comes to sex is one of death and destruction. Now this focus on sexual sin in these early chapters of Proverbs isn't because Proverbs is really obsessed by sex, but in lots of ways I think of this as like the most stark example for a young man receiving wisdom about life, about the temptations of foolishness, the temptations that exist in our world. You see, it's not that this is somehow worse than all the other temptations, but actually it's a perfect example of the allure, of the seduction of temptation or foolishness. In chapter 6 there's a whole bunch of other ones listed, the temptation to get conned into get rich schemes or in laziness or gossip, and there's going to be many temptations that we're going to come across in Proverbs. See, I think this kind of is getting to the heart of it though, isn't it? That the heart of every human being is the temptation to sin, the temptation to foolishness, that you can know what is the right thing to do and yet do the very opposite. See, maybe in whatever thing that you discussed before it's like a little small snippet into all of our hearts, that all of our hearts are in some way, we have vices and everyone's vices a bit different. For some, it's salty snacks and others ice cream. For some, it's women or pornography. For others, it's choosing a guy that's bad for you. For others, it's the temptation to money or choosing jobs that will take you out of the way from your family or away from your church. For others, it's the temptation to pour all your time and effort into your kids and your value and dignity is found in them. For some, it's the temptation to laziness and comfort to others, the overwork, to doing everything, to having no boundaries and never being able to say no. I don't know if you've ever heard of the marshmallow test, the marshmallow test. It's a test done in the 70s where they would put children into this little room, right? And what they would do is they would put this single marshmallow on the table and say, "You can have it. You can eat it." But if you wait 15 minutes, you can have two marshmallows. And there's great little videos of these. You can look it up on YouTube. People kind of repeated these tests. And the children would sit there and they'd stare at this thing. And some of them would be like, "Oh, I've got to close my eyes. I've got to find ways around it." There's other kids who just start singing to themselves to jump past the time. And it's all about kind of this battle to resist the temptation for one marshmallow so that they can get the two marshmallows in 15 minutes time. And you see the ones who tried so hard and then some of them 60 seconds in, five minutes in, they just give in and they're like, "Ah, stuff it. I'm having that marshmallow." And they miss out on the two later. The conclusion from this experiment, and it's been proven now in several others as well, is that the children who are able to resist taking the one marshmallow, who could wait for the two, actually did significantly better in life, significantly better financially, success-wise, health-wise. And the conclusion from this was this, that actually learning self-gratification, or learning to avoid instant gratification, is one of the secrets to a successful life that you can actually hold off from temptation that you can say no to the thing that's right in front of you. We ought to get something better later on. You see, I think that's kind of what this is about. This is all in that space. How do you go when that temptation comes? It takes time, effort, training, it takes accountability. There's lots of things that we can do to help us in that space. But come back with me to chapter 4. Come back with me to chapter 4. As the father lays out these paths that stand before his sons, this is what he says about actually resisting temptation and foolishness. Chapter 4, verse 20. "My son, pay attention to what I say, turn your ear to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart, for their life to those who find them, and health to one's whole body. Above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it. Keep your mouth free of perversity, keep corrupt talk from your lips, let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you, give careful thought to the paths for your feet, and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or to the left, keep your foot from evil." See, this father actually has a bunch of concrete advice for his son as well. Where does he start? How does the pursuit of the path of wisdom? Where does it all start? He says, "Guard your heart for everything else flows from it." Now, in the Bible, the heart isn't just kind of a place of feelings or emotion. It's actually the controlling center for everything else. It's a controlling center. It's a space in which you really align yourself with what you want, with what you hope for, the things you're afraid of even, right? And the heart and from your heart flows everything else, your emotion, your decision-making, your will, your mind, all of these things flow from it. There's a great quote from a theologian called Thomas Kramner, who actually wrote the Anglican prayer book, a very famous piece in Christian history. And what he said this was this, "What the heart loves, the will chooses, and the mind justifies. What the heart loves, the will chooses, and the mind justifies." So it's not that your thinking goes first and then you decide what to do after that. He said, "No, there's something that goes before that. It's your heart. It's what you want. It's your desires that actually drive everything." So that's why we can know the right thing to do and yet choose the thing that's bad for us. That's why when sometimes you can really, really know that this is a bad idea and yet somehow just find yourself there, because what your heart loves, your will chooses, and then your mind justifies it. Your then mind gives you reasons for why you ended up then, why, and then kind of tries finds ways to make a bad decision right. See, a big part of growing in wisdom, I think, is being knowing your heart, understanding who you are. What are your fears? What are your hopes? What are your desires? And I said, everyone's got a different temptation. Everyone's got a different heart. Everyone's heart looks differently. And if all you do is just follow your heart's desires, you will end up down the path of foolishness. But if you understand your heart, if you guard it, if you put boundaries around it, if you feed it well, then your heart will start to learn to love things that are good and true and godly. You see, I think sometimes that means actually really stopping and thinking about the particular ways that I'm wired. What are my particular temptations? What are the things that I daydream about? What are the things that I really would hope for? What are the things that I kind of know is bad, but actually, I just can't help it. What's going on behind that is often you'll find that there is an idol underneath that, a fear or hope of a desire for control over something. Something that's just trying to cope with life and your heart is trying to find comfort in something that might be actually really unhelpful, because my life is just hard and stressful. I think it means really guiding our hearts. You see, wisdom is actually a daily choice. It's something we've got to live out every day, and you either strengthen that muscle of living according to those godly desires and a heart that wants, that learns after God, or you're either weakening it by continuing to choose to do something against what you're convicted by, against what God's word says. And so, as you continue to wrestle with this, you've got to keep putting it into action, and you've got to guard your heart, be careful of what's in there. Know what your particular temptations are. Number two, he then goes and says, "Keep your mouth for your perversity and corrupt talk from your lips." That is to say, if the heart is the center of everything that we do, well, our mouth and our lips is often the thing that expresses it. But not only does it express it, I think it actually goes the other way, the things you speak about with people, the things you joke about with others actually also go back and they shape your heart as well, right? See, I think what you talk about often is reflecting what's going on inside of your inner thoughts, your attitudes, and what are you saying? Keep it pure, keep it honest, and you'll start aligning with your inner world, with the world, the life that you want to live. If you joke about coarse things, if you're commonly in conversations that are about impure things, you will find your heart starting to yearn up for those things. And the number three, he says, "Keep your eyes looking straight ahead, your gaze directly before you. Stay focused on the wise, the righteous path. Don't waver by looking over theirs, assuming that the grass might be greener out there, somewhere in the world, with another woman, in another job, in another whatever it might be. Keep your eyes fixed straight ahead, keep your gaze upon it. Don't feed your mind with all the junk and things that might be out there and television. If you've got a particular temptation, guard what goes into it and keep your eyes fixed on what is good. Fill it with things that are good. Fill it with media that is good and helpful and encouraging for you that's pointing you down the path of wisdom. And as the Father concludes, if you keep your eyes, your heart, your lips on that right path, your feet will keep you down the path of wisdom and righteousness. Now church, I don't know what particular temptations or struggles that you might be going through right now, whether it is with sex and pornography, whether it is with a boy or a girl that you know you shouldn't be interested in, whether it's the occupation about getting more stuff or maybe it's a temptation to kind of keep putting yourself down or there's no limit of different temptations that we all have for ourselves. Church, I want to tell you this, there is no temptation that Jesus doesn't understand, that we have a King and a Lord who has been tempted in every way possible as it says in Hebrews and yet did not sin. But it says this with this promise that because we have a priest who can sympathise with us, he can help us, he can rise through that. And even if you failed, he will forgive you and he will give you his spirit to help you to fight back. The church, I don't know where your struggle is right now, but I do know one thing. If you keep your heart, your eyes, your lips focused on Christ, then he will walk with you and he will help you on that path of wisdom and righteousness. Church, let me pray for us because the truth is we all need that prayer. We all know how easy it is to know what the right thing is to do and then to do something completely opposite to it. Let me pray that we will guide our hearts, keep our mouth pure and our eyes fixed on Jesus. Let's pray now. Heavenly Father, you know the struggles of being human in our world. You know the temptations that exist in the brokenness of the world and in the brokenness of our own hearts. Father, we do want and desire things that we ought not to. But Father, these are things that you understand. These are things that Jesus faced and he walked away from temptation and never strayed from following on the narrow path. Father, we ask that you would be with us, those of us who are struggling right now with that temptation. And Lord, you know it, you know our hearts, you know our particular vices and the things that we're just drawn to and seduced by. Father, we ask that you would help us to have the strength, the self-control, the conviction, to stick to what is good and right and pure. We ask that you might help us not beat ourselves up for where we fail but to continue to turn our eyes to Jesus to accept his forgiveness and then recommit ourselves to honouring him. This we ask not just for our own sex but that you might be glorified and that others around us might be blessed. This we ask in Jesus name. Amen. All right church, why don't you take a moment now just to reflect for yourself, reflect on your own heart and
There are many voices that call us, sometimes our own that can deceive us; but the most trustworthy and unchanging voice is God.