The Daily - A New Way to Mourn: An Update

This week, The Daily is revisiting some of our favorite episodes from this year and checking in on what has happened since the stories first ran. In our society, the public part of mourning is ritualized by a coming together. What do we do now that the opportunity for collective mourning has been taken away? Earlier this year, we heard the story of Wayne Irwin. A retired minister of the United Church of Canada who lost his wife, Flora May, during the coronavirus pandemic. He never once considered delaying her memorial, opting to celebrate her life over the internet — a new ritual that, as it turned out, felt more authentic and real. Today, we check back in with Wayne to find out how he’s been doing in the months since his wife’s passing. Guest: Catherine Porter, Toronto bureau chief for The New York Times. For an exclusive look at how the biggest stories on our show come together, subscribe to our newsletter. You can read the latest edition here. Background reading:The rituals of our lives have been transformed. An expert on gathering shares advice for birthdays and baby showers in our audio series “Together Apart.” For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily

Duration: 44m
Broadcast on: 29 Dec 2020
Audio Format: other

This week, The Daily is revisiting some of our favorite episodes from this year and checking in on what has happened since the stories first ran.

In our society, the public part of mourning is ritualized by a coming together. What do we do now that the opportunity for collective mourning has been taken away?

Earlier this year, we heard the story of Wayne Irwin. A retired minister of the United Church of Canada who lost his wife, Flora May, during the coronavirus pandemic.

He never once considered delaying her memorial, opting to celebrate her life over the internet — a new ritual that, as it turned out, felt more authentic and real.

Today, we check back in with Wayne to find out how he’s been doing in the months since his wife’s passing.

Guest: Catherine Porter, Toronto bureau chief for The New York Times.

For an exclusive look at how the biggest stories on our show come together, subscribe to our newsletter. You can read the latest edition here.

Background reading:

The rituals of our lives have been transformed. An expert on gathering shares advice for birthdays and baby showers in our audio series “Together Apart.”

For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily

For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Amazon Music. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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This podcast is supported by TikTok. Sometimes the most interesting discoveries are the ones you weren't looking for. That happens every day on TikTok. A science experiment can spark a whole new interest. A recipe you stumble upon can become a meal you make for the people you love. And a restaurant you've never heard of might become your new favorite spot. That's the thing about TikTok. Follow your curiosity and see where it leads. Your next discovery is waiting on TikTok. Hey, it's Michael. This week, the Daily Israel visiting our favorite episodes of the year, listening back and hearing what's happened in the time since they first ran. Today, the story of the new rituals that we create in a crisis. It's Tuesday, December 29th.

Katherine, I wonder if you can tell me a little bit about what you've been watching from your home in Toronto, ever since the pandemic started hitting North America? Well, I have written a lot about death over the years. It's one of those things that for whatever reason, it interests me and I keep coming back to it. So because I've always been interested in death and written about death, I've been looking through the birth and death notices. And the Obits have been really interesting because something that I'd never seen before at the bottom, you know, whether or not the person had died of COVID, you know, many of them have died just of old age or of cancer or whatever else. But at the bottom, I started to highlight these statements that seemed to repeat themselves over and over again, which were things like, "Though we cannot celebrate her life now, a happier time will come and we can all come together, or a celebration of her life will be celebrated when it's safe for us to be together. We will get together when we're allowed to get together." And so that planted a seed, like a thought in me, like the public part of mourning is ritualized in our society by coming together. We come together and we acknowledge the passing and we have a sense that this is real and we are grieving together. And if this isn't happening or we're delaying this, like what does that mean? How are people coping without that ritual? Is anyone trying to do this differently? So then, I found kind of the perfect person for this. Who did you find? Can you see us on your computer screen or no? No, I'm sitting, I'm talking on my phone. I've got my wig on straight, but it doesn't matter. Oh, I really wish we could see you then, in that case.

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