Hidden Brain - Healing 2.0: The Power of Apologies

Why is it so hard to say 'I'm sorry?' In the final episode of our Healing 2.0 series, we talk with psychologist Tyler Okimoto about the mental barriers that keep us from admitting when we've done something wrong, as well as the transformative power of apologies

Duration: 56m
Broadcast on: 27 Nov 2023
Audio Format: other

If you liked this episode, check out the rest of our Healing 2.0 series. And if you know someone who would benefit from the ideas we explored in this series, please share these episodes with them. Thanks!

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This is Hidden Brain, I'm Shankar Vedantam, I'm sorry, it's one of the simplest things to say and also one of the hardest. That's especially true when we're apologizing to the most important people in our lives. When we've wronged a parent, or a partner, or a close friend, working up the courage to make amends, can sometimes feel really hard. Why is that? Why do many of us find it difficult to apologize, especially to the people we love? This week on Hidden Brain, we conclude our Healing 2.0 series with a look at the psychology of apologies. We'll consider the mental barriers that make it hard for us to acknowledge when we've done something wrong, the changing cultural expectations around apologies and why it may be useful to think of an apology as a gift. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Air France. Air France business cabin offers comfort throughout the journey with priority check-in, boarding and lounge access. When it's time to rest, settle into a fully adjustable life flat bed with added mattress comfort. The art of travel, elevated, because Air France business cabin goes further in every detail to make your journey exceptional. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Land Rover. When the boldest journey starts small, with a single decision to go somewhere new, purpose built and courage driven, the Defender 110 combines on-road presence with off-road capability. It looks tough because it is, with a raised hood and an exterior engineered for durability. Inside, capability meets comfort, with seating for five and the option for seven plus refined finishes and thoughtful design. The Defender event is on now, explore enhanced offers at Land Rover USA dot com. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Progressive. Whoever says saving money is hard, doesn't know that new customers who bundle and save with Progressive save hundreds. Because switching your home and auto insurance is better than cutting down on those iced lattes you love. Switch to Progressive and see if you could save. Add your quote today at Progressive.com, Progressive Casualty Insurance Company, affiliates and other insurers, not available in all states. Think about the last time someone wronged you, did they apologize? Now think about the last time you wronged someone else, did you apologize? At the University of Queensland in Australia, Tyler Okimoto studies the psychology of apologies. He examines the transformative power of apologies and what happens in our minds when we say, "I'm sorry." Tyler Okimoto, welcome to Hidden Brain. Thank you Shankar, glad to be here. I want to take you back, Tyler, to the 2016 Rio Olympics. The star U.S. swimmer Ryan Locti and other athletes said that they had been robbed at night by armed men. It turned out the story was only a cover for what really happened and that this is a classic example of how we often react when we are accused of doing something bad. Yeah, that's right. That's right. First reaction is deny, come up with an excuse, trying to paint yourself in the best possible picture.

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