Healing 2.0: Life After Loss
You've probably heard that people who lose a loved one may go through what are known as the "five stages" of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But many people find that their grief doesn't follow this model at all. In the latest installment of our Healing 2.0 series, we revisit our 2022 conversation with resilience researcher Lucy Hone. Lucy shares the techniques she learned to cope after a devastating loss in her own life.
- Duration
- 56m
- Broadcast on
- 13 Nov 2023
- Audio Format
- other
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You've probably heard that people who lose a loved one may go through what are known as the "five stages" of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But many people find that their grief doesn't follow this model at all. In the latest installment of our Healing 2.0 series, we revisit our 2022 conversation with resilience researcher Lucy Hone. Lucy shares the techniques she learned to cope after a devastating loss in her own life.
If you missed the earlier installments of our Healing 2.0 series, you can find them in this podcast feed, or on our website: Healing 2.0: Change Your Story, Change Your Life and Healing 2.0: What We Gain from Pain.
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This is Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedanta. In the 1960s, the psychologist Elizabeth Kubler Ross was studying patients with terminal illnesses. She noticed a pattern as they came to terms with their mortality. The patients seemed to go through different psychological phases. Elizabeth Kubler Ross eventually classified these phases into what she called the five stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The five stages were intuitively appealing and offered people a way to understand a complex experience. Very quickly, the simplicity of this framework began to seep into popular culture, books, TV shows, and later countless YouTube videos. Your mind is protecting you by completely denying the reality. Numbness may follow. It's nature's way of letting you deal only with your emotions that you're capable of handling. As often happens, a system that was designed to be descriptive became prescriptive. The five stages, translated into popular culture, morphed into a model that told people they should expect to feel certain emotions and that their experience of grief would be a journey from one stage to the next. Finally, five is acceptance. It's the fifth stage, and this is the end game here. And it is the result of all the stages of your grief. Over time, the five-stage model of grief became so ingrained in people's minds that new insights, based on rigorous research, did not get as much airtime. For decades, the popular understanding of what we feel when we grieve was largely drawn from the five-stage model. Anyone who's ever been bereaved will know that people tell you about them. They expect you to go through them and pretty quickly became frustrated with them because I don't want to be told what I'm going to feel. I am desperate to know what I can do to help us all adapt to this terrible loss. Today we bring you the story of a researcher whose understanding of grief was transformed by a devastating experience in her own life. The surprisingly powerful technique she learned to cope with tragedy this week on Hidden Brain. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Instagram. Instagram teen accounts automatic protections limit who can contact teens, the content they can see, and the time they spend on the app. Teens are automatically placed into teen accounts. Teens under 16 will need a parent's permission to change any of those settings to be less strict. Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Defender. Even the boldest journey starts small with a single decision to go somewhere new. The Defender 110 is a vehicle built for those moments for drivers capable of great things, whether they're headed toward uncharted territory or just a weekend away. The Defender 110 combines on-road presence with off-road capability. It looks tough because it is, with an exterior engineered for durability. Inside, capability meets comfort with seating for five and the option for seven plus refined finishes and thoughtful design. It's also packed with intuitive tech like 3D surround cameras with clear-side ground view to help you navigate rough terrain and the next-generation PIVI Pro infotainment system designed to keep you informed, connected, and in control, no matter the path. The Defender 110 is naturally capable, expedition ready, and built for those ready to move forward. Explore the Defender 110 at LandRoverUSA.com Support for Hidden Brain comes from Progressive. Whoever says saving money is hard doesn't know that new customers who bundle and save with Progressive save hundreds. Because switching your home and auto insurance is better than cutting down on those iced lattes you love. Switch to Progressive and see if you could save. Get your quote today at Progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company, affiliates, and other insurers, not available in all states. ♪ Lucy Hohn is a researcher at the University of Canterbury in New Zealand. In 2010, she was living near Christchurch when it was struck by a powerful earthquake. The disaster and a series of aftershocks killed 185 people and destroyed most of downtown Christchurch.
Transcription truncated.
You've probably heard that people who lose a loved one may go through what are known as the "five stages" of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But many people find that their grief doesn't follow this model at all. In the latest installment of our Healing 2.0 series, we revisit our 2022 conversation with resilience researcher Lucy Hone. Lucy shares the techniques she learned to cope after a devastating loss in her own life.