The Truth About Honesty
Think about how often you hold back honest opinions of someone else because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. But there are times when this well-intended restraint can be a mistake. This week, in the second part of our series on failure and feedback, psychologist Taya Cohen helps us understand when — and how — to be honest.
- Duration
- 1h 2m
- Broadcast on
- 31 Jul 2023
- Audio Format
- other
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Think about how often you hold back honest opinions of someone else because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. But there are times when this well-intended restraint can be a mistake. This week, in the second part of our series on failure and feedback, psychologist Taya Cohen helps us understand when — and how — to be honest.
If you missed the first part of our series — which focuses on how we can become better at learning from difficult or negative feedback — you can find it here.
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This is Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedanta. In one of the most famous episodes of the TV show "Seinfeld", the character Elaine, played by Julia Louis Dreyfus, takes to the dance floor. All right. Who's dancing? Come on. Who's dancing? When we get it started? What follows is hard to describe. Elaine's dancing resembles a giraffe navigating an ice-skating rink on roller skates. Elaine's co-workers watch with mouths again, as her hands and feet fly off in different directions. Here's the thing, though. No one tells her she is a bad dancer. Later, behind her back, her friend's George and Jerry discuss Elaine's dancing. Have you ever seen Elaine dance? It's more like a full-body dry heave. Set the music. Did she do the little kicks and the thumbs? What, you mean you know about this? It's one of those problems I hope would just go away. There's only one friend who is willing to tell Elaine the truth. Kramer, the character in the show, who often says and does things that are socially inappropriate. When Elaine breaks into her trademark dance moves in front of him, he asks her what she thinks she is doing. -Stancing? -No. That ain't dancing, Sally. But it's fine. You stink. All of us notice things about the people in our lives. We notice oddities about our friends, co-workers, family members. We see their flaws and foibles. And even though we say we care about them, what do we do? Often, nothing. We let them flounder in blissful ignorance. This week on Hidden Brain, we explore the difficulty of sharing unpleasant feedback and new psychological insights about how to navigate difficult conversations. He doesn't know what he's talking about. I'm a good dancer, right? I forgot to make my bed. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Air France. Air France business cabin offers comfort throughout the journey with priority check-in, boarding, and lounge access. On board, enjoy menus from renowned French chefs, wines, and champagne selected by a Sommelier and free high-speed Wi-Fi.
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Think about how often you hold back honest opinions of someone else because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. But there are times when this well-intended restraint can be a mistake. This week, in the second part of our series on failure and feedback, psychologist Taya Cohen helps us understand when — and how — to be honest.