Hidden Brain - Relationships 2.0: An Antidote to Loneliness

When you go to a medical appointment, your doctor may ask you several questions. Do you smoke? Have you been getting exercise? Are you sleeping? But rarely do they ask: are you lonely? U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy believes we are suffering from an epidemic of loneliness. This week, we revisit our 2020 conversation with Murthy about the importance of human connection to our physical and mental health, and how we can all strengthen our social ties.

Duration: 55m
Broadcast on: 14 Nov 2022
Audio Format: other

A note that this week's episode includes a discussion of suicide. If you're experiencing suicidal crisis or emotional distress and are based in the U.S., you can reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling 988.

Did you catch last week's episode in this series, about the power of tiny interactions? You can find it here. And if you like our work, please consider a financial contribution to help us make many more episodes like this one.

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"This is Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedantam. Vivek Murthy was seven years old when his mom woke him up one night long after he'd gone to sleep. She rushed him and his sister into their car." "I remember piling back into the back seat and my sister was sleepy sitting next to me." Vivek's parents, who were immigrants from India, ran a medical practice in Miami. His dad was a physician, as they raced through the night in the car. "My parents told me that their patient, Gordon, had just died after a long struggle with metastatic cancer. And we were driving to a trailer park in Miami where Gordon lived because my parents were worried that his widow Ruth would be grieving alone. And to this day I will never forget, like the image of my mother in her traditional sari, standing on the steps of that trailer, illuminated by the moonlight, and embracing Gordon's wife Ruth as they both cried and cried. And in that moment, you know, it struck me that their lives were so different, Ruth's and my mother's. But in that moment they were family, like not the kind of family that's chosen for you, but the kind that you choose for yourself." Vivek is now a physician himself. He has experienced what it's like to be at the bedside of sick patients, to comfort the families of the dying. One lesson that has stayed with him is something he learned that night when he was seven years old. In the final moments when only the most meaningful strands of life remain, it's really our human connections that rise to the top. That's the clarity that we get at the end of life. But it was my parents who taught me from the earliest ages that we don't have to wait until the end of life in order to recognize and act on the power of connection. This week on Hidden Brain, we continue our Relationships 2.0 series with a look at the hazards of loneliness and how we can all live more connected lives. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Liberty Mutual Insurance. Making smart decisions includes considering how to protect your car and home and how much you're paying to ensure them. Liberty Mutual customizes your car and home insurance to save you money because when you've worked hard for something, choosing insurance should be easy. Start your quote at libertymutual.com. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Air France. Air France business cabin offers comfort throughout the journey with priority check-in, boarding and lounge access. On board, enjoy menus from renowned French chefs, wines and champagne selected by Assamelier and free high-speed Wi-Fi. When it's time to rest, settle into a fully adjustable life-flat bed with added mattress comfort. The art of travel, elevated because Air France business cabin goes further in every detail to make your journey exceptional. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Land Rover. Even the boldest journey starts small with a single decision to go somewhere new. Purpose-built and courage-driven, the Defender 110 combines on-road presence with off-road capability. It looks tough because it is with a raised hood and an exterior engineered for durability. Inside, capability meets comfort with seating for five and the option for seven plus refined finishes and thoughtful design. The Defender event is on now. Explore enhanced offers at LandRoverUSA.com. Many years after the night, when Vivek Murthy watched his parents comfort the grieving widow of a patient who had died, he left Miami to pursue his own medical career. That journey took him to Boston and New Haven, Connecticut. In 2014, he moved to Washington, D.C. for a new role, Surgeon General of the United States. Based on what he learned, he wrote a book about a major public health problem that is often hidden from view. The book is titled "Together, the healing power of human connection in a sometimes lonely world." Vivek Murthy, welcome to Hidden Brain. Thanks so much, Anker. It's good to be with you. When I think of the Office of Surgeon General Vivek, I think about famous reports that have come out of that office about smoking in health or or dealing with the opioid crisis. Shortly after you became Surgeon General, you went on a listening tour of the United States and the stories you heard prompted you to think of an issue that has received much less attention. In Oklahoma City, for example, you wrote that you met a couple who

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