the game. Hey everybody welcome to Boozy Bracatology, the podcast that believes in strong drink, strong opinions and crowning champions and we are here for the best adventure portion of the brackets. Unfortunately, Sarah is having some IT issues. She will be on with us momentarily to take over the hosting duties, but she decided to leave me in charge, which was never a good idea. So let's jump right into it. Well, I can still mess this up more than I'd like to admit. We're going to start. We're going to start with you the one seed overall one seed back to the future. The 16 seed beast master. How you doing? What are you drinking and give me your pick? I'm doing just fine. You know, I don't think it's any secret anyone. We're recording this two days after our presidential election. So no matter what you voted, it's been a week. And especially for me in the TV industry, it's been a fucking week. I have a lovely maple bacon smoked old fashioned with some woodford reserve. It's delightful. It's serving its purpose. And as for our pick tonight. I told Chris before the bracket started that I wish Brian Nash for on this recording so he could do the Spiderman laugh to some of these first rounders. Beast Master is a movie that I've seen approximately. Seven times bits and pieces of because it was always on TBS growing up. I don't know who Ted Turner fucked to get the rights to that movie. Oh, I do Jane Fonda, but yeah. In no universe is Beast Master with Mark fucking Singer, a better movie than back to the future move on. We will move on. Mike. How you doing? What are you drinking first? Well, for starters, what am I drinking? I have a lovely bourbon that I picked up because it's named after my daughter. It is the Penelope bourbon. I've been riding the bourbon train the past two nights. I recorded last night too because, well, Turner already already explained when we're recording this so that should explain why I'm going to the hard stuff. But otherwise, overall, I'm doing well and I'm really, really happy and really also kind of nervous and terrified that we're finally doing the 80s adventure bracket because I've been staring down this one for a long time. A lot of these matchups are really tough. And there is a history of 16 seeds in boozy bracketology actually making a little bit of a run upsetting one seed and moving on the way we even had a winner of a sweet 16 in one of our movie brackets. All of which is to say back to the future. How are you doing? How are you doing? What are you drinking? Give me your pack. I am doing all right. I am exhausted. I've got myself a lovely sprite that I am drinking all by itself. I didn't really open that well and made a big mess. I have seen one of these movies upwards of, I don't know, 30 times just for the fun of it. No bigger deal. And one I saw for the first time two days ago and texted Chris and asked him if he was going to pay for my therapy after these movies that he made me watch. So I'm going to go ahead and give it to Marty McFly. Back to the future is up three nails. So it's my turn. It has been a week. For multiple reasons actually on my front. But I am going to be doing, listen, there's no secret. I'm an adventure movie guy. Some of my favorite movies of all time are on this bracket. And I don't want to make these pics, but I set us down this road. I have to see it through. So I'm going to be killing two bottles over the next two recordings. I'm starting off with a bottle of bakers. This is a seven year is checking it 107 proof. It is a wonderful bourbon. And I actually thought there was more in there than just that. So I might have to have three bottle kills. But cheers everybody. All right, now to confront Turner Turner. In no universe is Beastmaster better than back to the future. That's correct. There is one universe. Let's hop on our DeLorean and go back and cast Eric Stoltz. I love it. No, this is yeah, back to the future. All day, every day. Jen, over to you. How are you doing? What are you drinking? And do we have a sweep? I'm doing well other than the fact that it's 28 degrees where I am. I'm in the middle of a snowstorm and I lost power for a couple of hours. So I've got my heat pad a space heater now that the everything is back on. And my drink of choice because of that is hot tea. Because I'm just trying to warm up a little bit defrost. And so I was like, I need to give like a lot of these I either haven't seen or hadn't seen. And I just I wanted to give them a fair chance. And so I popped Beastmaster on for all of five seconds and I'm like, why am I even doing this? Because I do remember watching it when I was young, but good Lord. There's, yeah, in no way with this 16 seed ever went out. So yeah, it's, it's definitely a sweet. Well, back to the futures moving on to the main bracket. Thank God. We are moving on to see what back to the future will face next week. And it will be between the eight seed dragon slayer or the nine seed the never ending story. Mike, we're kicking this over to you. So dragon slayer, the eight seed is a movie that I had never seen before this bracket was put together. I'd honestly never even heard of it before this bracket was put together. So, or if I if I had, I'd forgotten about it. So, but I did, I did watch it and I thought it was a very entertaining and fun fantasy adventure. But look, I've said it before, and I'll say it again, 80s movies knew the proper way to fuck up a kid. Yeah, like the younger millennials and Gen Z, I love y'all, but you don't know film based trauma like we do. You did not have to watch our tax the horse die of sadness. Sadness. You did not have to do that. You did not endure never ending story the way that we did never ending story. It may be the most inaccurately named movie in history, but it is not just traumatizing but enchanting and terrifying. And I, as good as dragon, I much I did enjoy dragon slayer, but never ending story is going to get my vote as my four year old daughter is yelling at me. He shouldn't have picked up that bourbon is what it boils down to. He shouldn't have had penelope. Alright, next pick here goes to Asha. Speaking of trauma, I had never seen this movie before, and I've been around long enough to know like about the movie. So I knew the horse died. I did not realize two things about the movie. One, the horse dies in the first like 15 minutes. Like what are you doing to me? It was horrible. And then somehow in my mind, I had decided that the kid readings the story was also the same kid that was in the world. I didn't realize they were two different kids. So that was new to me. But yeah, definitely going with the never ending story despite my trauma. They're running stories up to nil and it goes over to me. This is pretty easy for me because I did watch one of these movies I've seen them both actually but I did have to go back and watch dragon slayer and I don't get it. I'm not a fantasy guy. I love adventure fantasy loses me and both these movies lean heavily into the fantasy side of things. But only one of these movies traumatized me as a kid. Hold on, scratch that. I was 22 when I first saw a never ending story. Only one of these movies traumatized me at 22. I'm not sure it's the better movie. It's 100% the more memorable film. I'm giving my vote to never ending story. So it's going to take a three nil win. Let's see how far it goes. Jen. Okay, so here's a thing. Dragon Slayer is one of the ones I watched a couple nights ago. I hadn't seen it before. Never an next story I watched like when it first came out like it's old hat. See, I enjoy both of them. I actually like dragon slayer. My problem is Peter McNichol. My problem with Peter McNichol is the fact that all I can hear is VEGO. That's all I hear. When I see him, that's all I've got. I've got that or I've got Dracula dead and loving it. What's that in your mouth? Nothing. Like these just this lives in my brains every time I see him so it's like I couldn't take it seriously because every time I've heard his voice it was VEGO, you know. But it was actually it was actually an enjoyable movie. I do like fantasy. I mean, I have a giant Lord of the Rings tattoo. So it's, you know, it is what it is. But when you're comparing this is this is the apples and oranges like I think even if I had seen dragon slayer in the 80s when it came out, I still would have chosen a warning story only because number one, I mean, the child like Empress. Say my name. Our tax. That didn't make me cry. Sorry guys. I was not traumatized by it. I'm probably, you know, I'm a cruel being. Okay. I honestly didn't cry either. I was just like, what the fuck? Same. Yeah. But I like the big, I like the rock dude. I haven't seen in a while, but like I like the characters. I like the almost Jim Hensoni feel a lot of these movies. And I went back and we watched him like this is very Jim Hensoni like a lot of it like it brought that kind of feel to it, which I dig. So yeah, but anyway long story short, long story short. I can talk. I'm going to go with never running story. Never running stories got another vote. It's on the verge of a sweep turner. It's memorable about the movie dragon slayer. The guy in the line called. Perhaps to some. Sure. We'll go with that. Sorry. No, no, no, you're fine. You have absolutely your opinions. To me, it's the fact that no one can pronounce the dragon's name. It sounds like one of the football players from key and peels East West game. I'm not interested in watching them pursue Quackadarias blip for two hours. I'm going to give you an impression of five year old Turner watching the never ending story in 1984. Mommy, why they killed the pony. Like who didn't want to ride Falcor above the skies and listen to the soothing towns of catch a googoo's lead singer. Like it's just beautiful. And the fact that the story ended made me a little sad. Like it's false advertising and I still want my two dollars back from that. But yeah, it's, it's, it's a sweep. Let's move on. It is a sweep. We are moving on, which means in the next round back to the future, it's never ending story. What did Candace say, Turner? She just cut me off. No, no more liquor for me. Oh, bullshit. Yeah, that's, that's not cool, Candace. I will Facebook or Turner and make this right. I support you, Candace. You do. You're the one that's got to live with him. It's a valid point. We are moving on though, because, Asha, you're kicking us off here on our 12 five matchup. The 12 seed sword and the sorcerer, the five seed a play in game winner. It took out Temple of Doom. It's Indiana Jones and the last crusade. I mean, that my remembrance of the 80s is the Smurfs, E.T., Indiana Jones, and back to the future and nothing else really comes close. So, you know, it's Harrison Ford all the way. Last crusade. Last crusade has his first vote. The next pick here goes to me. Oh, last crusade. Jan, over to you. I mean, again, I was trying to give everybody every movie a fair chance. If I hadn't seen it before, I had not seen sword in the sorcerer, and I got maybe five minutes and I'm like, why? Why am I doing this to myself? And I stopped and I realized that no matter which Indiana Jones movie was picked, that was going to be the winner. Because it's Indiana Jones and it's classic and Harrison Ford. So, Indiana Jones, last crusade. Last crusade's up three nil. Turner. For any listeners we have right now, if you would like to make a message on our discord or on our Facebook. If there are any of you who actually care about sword in the sorcerer, please get in touch with us so we can tell you that you're full of shit. I would like to now read the Wikipedia page of Sword and Sorcerer in this list of acting talent. Lee Horsley, Kathleen Beller, and Simon McCorkendale, which by the way, I'm changing my name to Simon McCorkendale. What fucking universe is this? This is Indiana Jones. Jesus Christ move on. I'm sure he will move on when I talk to him next, but we're going to move on. Go ahead, Asha. For the full disclosure, I was really disappointed because I thought it was the sorcerer in the stone when I first looked at it. And it was not. What is this not? Oh, man, man, I'm in. Cool. Right. So the funniest part to me there is that you can't take the elementary school teacher out of Asha because she raised her hand. We're all shouting over each other. Pick me. Pick me. All day long, man. All right. Indiana Jones is moving on. Yeah, I guess we'll go to Mike. Hey, like I said, Indiana Jones is already moving on, but I just I just did want to take a minute because very much like Jen. I looked at this match. I was like, there's probably not much of a chance or the sorcerer is going to be able to beat Indiana Jones in the last crusade or Temple of Doom if it had been the one move on, but I was like, I got to give it a chance. Right. And very much like Turner, I started watching the cast list roll by and I'm like, Hmm. And it's fine. And it finally hit a name that I recognized. And it was the guy that played Bull in Night Court. And it was like the eighth or ninth person. I was like, Oh, God. Oh, God, the voice over kicks in and all this other stuff. I think I made it a maximum of 10 minutes and I'm like, time is finite. Like, this is not going to beat Indiana Jones, the last crusade, and I could go read a book or something. This is very clearly the last crusade sweep it. We've got the sweep. We are moving on. Our next matchup. It is going to be the four seat of time bandits, the 13 seat of buckaroo bonsai and I'm not saying the entire title. And we're going to start with me. What I can say about time bandits is one, it's a very interesting film. It's Terry Gilliam, like being Terry Gilliam, which I do really, really, really enjoy. It's a much easier and more digestible film than Brazil, but I can't say it's a better film than Brazil. What I didn't realize, two things I didn't realize, one didn't realize it was part of a trilogy. So the time bandits Brazil were two parts of a trilogy, the third one, the adventures of Baron Munchausen that came out late 80s. Finish the trilogy. I didn't know that. Did y'all know that? Is it a trilogy in the true sense? In the same way that the Cornetto trilogy is a trilogy. Okay, like thematically or whatever. Okay. And then I also realized that the adventures of Baron Munchausen aren't anywhere on this bracket, so we'll add that to the cinnamon pie. We covered that in the Robin Williams performance bracket a couple of years back. It's fine. With all that being said, I really like time bands. I had never seen it before. But buckaroo bonsai is my kind of bat shit crazy. It is just fucking weird. And I am a hundred percent here for it. Buckaroo bonsai gets my vote. Jen. So I've actually, I ran out of time and was not able to see the adventures of buckaroo bonsai across the eighth dimension because I'm going to say the whole fucking name Chris. God rude. But I did watch time bandits and I was not expecting what I got. Because like I started watching it and it was one of those weird like the fuck am I watching? Like I had no idea where it was going. No idea. Like the whole time I'm like the fuck what just happened. Like it was weird. Okay, it was super weird. But it was fun. I enjoyed it. And then kind of just doing a little bit of research on buckaroo bonsai. The cast is great. I mean, I. As actors, I do not know these people personally. So if I say, you know, I like them, it's not personally because I don't know their thing. There's a lot of weird shit going on. I like Peter Weller as an actor, John Lithgow, Jeff Goldblum, Christopher Lloyd. It's got a great cast. I've heard really good things about it. But. In all fairness, I have not seen it yet. So I have to go with the other guy because it was fun time bandits was fun. And I was not expecting so many like Sean Connery's in it. Most of the guys from money Python are in it at some point. Like and at the end it was a big what the fuck because now here's this kid left abandoned is a parents just fucking blew up. His house is on fire. Like the fuck? Yeah, so yeah. There you go. The 80s were a weird time and Terry Gilliam definitely had a hand in that time band is tied it up one to one. The next picker goes to Turner. All right. Time bandits is actually. It's decentish. It's fun. I prefer I spend it with Robert Eurek, but that's just me because it was a lot of fun when it would air on USA at like one in the morning, some lunacy. But I I'm with Chris here. Like buckaroo bonsai is what happens when you take flash Gordon and you put an actual charismatic actor in the title role. Like and Peter Willard would go on too much much more charismatic performance in 1988. God bless you Robocop. But yeah, this like Chris said this movie is just batshit insane. It's not particularly good, but it's just really fun. If you want to, you know, take some medicinal herbage and have a good hour and a half of your life, like go go find buckaroo bonsai on a streaming service if you can. If not, I know a guy. Just let me know. Yeah, we can't do the here turn. Are they voted it down? All right, I'm a drink drink. Oh, that was a big gulp in my baby. Hey, big gulp, huh? All right. See you later. All right. Next picker goes to Mike. And here is where things get interesting. So, um, I watched both of these movies for the first time about two months ago. So it's kind of cool because in a way, there's no recency bias one way or the other. There's no nostalgia one way or the other. I'm just going on what I experienced. And I definitely agree that buckaroo bonsai is a weird fucking movie. Like it's a ton of fun, but it's a weird movie. But look, that cast is amazing. I will watch John Lithgowchu scenery like that any time. It has an alien who was literally named a big booty. I thought that was pretty cool. But the one that's going to stick with me more and the one that I think I enjoyed more was time bandits. I thought it was funnier. I loved obviously any time Sean Connery appears is great. We have the opportunity to set up a Connery versus Connery matchup in the next round. I loved Michael Palin and Shelley Duvall recurring across multiple time periods. I thought that was hilarious. And Jen mentioned like the ending with the parents blowing up. What was that? It was this movie was so like unpredictable and fascinating to me. I just, I was just like, man. Terry Gilliam is not everyone's cup of tea and I don't enjoy all of his films, but he's just, he's so adventurous as director. He makes some really interesting choices and his movies are no matter how many Terry Gilliam movies see, like he goes to certain wells a lot, but they're always unpredictable and wild and entertaining. Time bandits is going to get my vote here to set up the tie. Well, you know, well, he didn't go to the weller well. I'm calling that your buzzer beater. So I'm calling that. Well, it is perfect. There's an opportunity for a buzzer beater. We don't know how how set in stone. Asha is you get one per round. Anybody want to use it to try and sway her one way or another? Hang on, let me put my QR code for the mic in the lab for you. We did have a panelist pull out a crisp $1 bill. No, we're all bracket. It would have shocked anyone that it was one of the other Washington. All right, Asha, it's up to you. Time bandits or buckaroo bond die in the really long title. Well, I kind of want to know what happens in all the other dimensions, like one through seven. So I don't have that feeling of completeness there. Neither one of them moved me particularly that I can feel very strong about. So I'm kind of sad. Nobody had a buzzer beater to cling on to, but I am also going to go with time bandits. And with that time bandits will move on to the speed 16 turner. We lost my friend. I'm sorry. But we gave it a little college try. That's right. Well, we're probably the USC college try. Not really the Florida State College try. All right, we are moving on. We got the second half of our bracket here to go. And we're going to start this one off with Jen, Jen, you're picking between the two seat of a print the princess bride or the 15 seed return to us. Okay, listen. I went to watch return to us and in my head. I knew it was the one and I can never pronounce your name right. So I'm not even going to try. I will butcher it. Fire is a ball. Yeah. For is it for is a ball. For is a ball. Then you just set it two different ways. Whatever. Now you these two. Yeah. We fucked up. That's fine. Sorry. I'm drunk. And I love her. So in my head, I saw that. But in my head, I was also thinking of the Wiz and I was hoping for Michael Jackson. I don't know why. I don't know why. But I watched again a few days ago and um, good God, the fuck. What crack were they smoking when they made this movie with Jack? And I don't even remember the name of the weird green moose couch thing. The gump. Yeah. Well, the fuck like it was. Yeah. It was really, really, really freaking weird. Now take that, that oddity, right? And match up to the fact that I've gone to Dragoncon, dressed as characters from the princess bride. And you can, yeah. So as you wish with Carrie Elas, I mean, Princess Bride is one of those staples where, I mean, I quoted consistently, like consistently. And Return to Oz just isn't one of those that has those little catchy, memorable things that you can bring up in daily life and kind of relate to. Whereas, you know, Princess Bride has all these, all these words, like, I say to believe all the time, obviously means to lie, right? Like, you know, it's, it's shit like that that I'm like, in daily life, I can bring it up and I can use it. And most people will know what the hell I'm talking about, because it's that prominent. Whereas Return to Oz does not have that kind of, of backup, in my opinion. So I'm going to go ahead and go with Princess Bride. Prince, this bride has a vote. Turner. I'm sorry, what's the 15 seat again? Return to Oz, okay. Yeah. Yeah, already forgot again. I'm glad I'm going second for the simple fact that it allows me to take the lowest hanging of the lowest hanging fruit and say, Return to Oz over Princess Bride and conceivable. Yeah, listen, as a wrestling fan, Princess Bride holds a special place in my heart, because Andre the Giant almost ruined the entire setup of WrestleMania 3 to go film this little fucking movie. But you know what? It was amazing. And it was worth it. And so we're just going to move on to Princess Bride into the second round, because really return to what? No, I've already forgotten again. Not going to the second round yet. I want to hear from Mike. So I'm sorry, Turner. Return to Oz is actually a great film. I had no taste. I loved it. Well, that's because my tongue is numbed by all the bourbon. But, but I actually, I loved this movie as a kid that scared the absolute hell out of me. But I love this movie. It had great visual effects, it had fun characters, the gumjack pumpkin head, TikTok will forever for me be a mechanical man wandering around next to Dorothy and not whatever the heck the kids are into these days. I don't even know. It definitely proved that 80s movies, as I said previously, were not fucking around. There were a lot of things that they definitely did. It was, for whatever reason, it wasn't the wheelers. They, that didn't bother me that much. Mombi with all of her screaming heads that were interchangeable. That didn't scare the hell out of me. It was when the gnome king was trying to eat everybody. That's what that was the thing that scared the hell out of me. It's, it is, it really enjoyable, well done film. But alas, it fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous, of course, is never getting involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well known is this, never going up against the princess bride in boozy bracketology. The princess bride moves on. The princess bride does move on, but I want to hear from everybody that includes Asha. Okay, well, if I think back to younger me, and the first time I saw Princess bride was in the basement at one of my friend's houses, and I didn't really like it that much, honestly, when I was a little kid, then as I've grown older, I've learned to appreciate it. Wizard of Oz, I saw her, returned to Oz, saw her the first time in the theater as I was a kid so in love with the Wizard of Oz, and that stupid pumpkin head, and the lady that could remove her head, gave me nightmares forever, and I had never seen it again until last week, and I don't think I ever need to see it again, and we'll go with the princess bride. Princess bride has another vote, the next pick goes to me. There is a universe in which Return to Oz is better than the princess bride, and in that universe, the lead character is not played by Carrie Elwey's, he's played by Eric Stoltz. It's the only way in the makeup from mask, they get exactly. No, this is, I made the mistake of watching Princess bride at a point in my life where I was taking like shit way too seriously, and I was like, oh, this movie is way too, it's dumb, this is kid stuff. Then I watched it later when I actually learned how to loosen up and drink and have a good time, and it is insanely wonderful, it's so sweet, it's so fun. 100%, this is Princess bride moving on, and so are we, we've got three picks left this episode, we're gonna kick this one off with Turner, Turner, you've got the 10 seed Superman II, facing the seven seed, the play in game whenever, mancing the stone. Oh, that's interesting, isn't it? We covered it on the play in games, most of us have the assertion that masking the stone is fine, it's the definition of a mid movie, Chris does not share that, Chris actually really enjoys remancing the stone and maybe he will vote for it, maybe he won't. To me, it's just not as memorable as basically any Superman movie to me, Superman IV is memorable for all the wrong reasons, that thing's a piece of trash, but no, well, Superman II is a lot of fun, and I think you know, the daughter cut of Superman II is especially interesting to me, not the the cinema version we got, it's a little bit deeper I think, but yeah, Superman II is better than remains of a stone. I think I'm going to leave all that in because Turner just froze for about 30 seconds, but you came back in at the perfect times, it was fine. Oh my gosh, all right, we are moving on to our next person here after Turner goes to Mike. Well, it's odd to say this given the amount of time that he froze to her while he was talking, but Turner actually pretty much said most of what I was going to say that romancing the stone is fine, it's a but it's kind of a middle of the road movie. I don't love Superman II, I don't really love truly love any of the Christopher Reeve Superman movies, they are what they are and they are that era of comic book movie, but Superman II is still just good, can't be fun. If I'm going to put one of these two on, I'm absolutely going to put on Superman II. I mean, some of the stuff is ridiculous, like him throwing the S off of his uniform, like what the hell is that? But it doesn't, you know, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter because it's still just fun. And it does explore to a certain extent, the whole, you know, what if Superman gave up his powers thing? It's an interesting enough movie that I definitely think it beats romancing the stone here. All right, we're rancing the stones down O2, Asha. So I was a teenager in the 90s and Dean Kane is my Superman. And I'm sorry that you're going to get a bunch of emails about this, but I actually kind of feel the same way Asha, so it's all good. I'm going to go with romancing the stone and this one. We're rancing the stone as it got its first vote. Next pick goes to me. Yo, I don't give a shit about Superman. I genuinely listen, come at me all you want, the best version of Superman that we've gotten is Man of Steel. I don't care. It is the best version of the character that we've seen in film in a movie, at least I haven't watched all the shows, although I hear Tom Welling can jump really far. I love romancing the stone. It's Mike, you talk about can't be fun. It's a campy adventure movie with some nice romance with two lead characters who are just so freaking fun to watch. It's not Indiana Jones and it does try a little bit to be, but it has it stands on its own merits. It's a fun movie. Kathleen Turner, Michael Douglas love the chemistry between the two of them. I wish they did not come back and do a rush sequel with with Joel the Nile, but they did. But romancing the stone standalone. I like that movie a lot. If it's on TV, I will watch it. So I'm tying this up to the two, which means Jen, you are a buzzer beater recipient. Does anybody want to try and sway Jen one way or another before she locks in her vote? All right, Jen, it's all in your moderately capable hands. Lower than moderate, thank you. Literally the nicest thing you've probably ever said to her. Right. It's like he's going to ask for something later or something. So yeah, I already kind of said how I feel about romancing the stone, and now I really don't care for either. All right, they were just they were mid is what the kids say these days, they were mid. Superman too, I was like, you know what, I'm going to go ahead and watch this again. Why? Like the entire time, like the fuck? Like my literal takeaway, the first thing I wrote down because I actually wrote everything down and I left it at work on my notes, but literally Superman is a whiny little bitch and Lois Lane is just a bitch is basically what it came out to be. The entire time, I'm like, Oh my God, Lois is such a bitch. And as you sit in here, like so obsessed with freshly squeezed orange juice as she's smoking 18 packs a day. God Christ. And it was just like and Christopher Reeves and the difference between Clark and Superman and like, oh, shock. Hey, look, I need somebody different. I know it's like he did the weird arm swing and like he takes his glasses off. It's me. And she's like, I knew yours. The fucker, like no, it was so bad. It was so loud. Did you want to fly around the earth? Reparations. I'm going to go with romancing the stone. In what I can only assume is the definition of hate fucking a vote. Jenna has gone with romancing the stone. I wonder the rest. All right, we got two picks left. We're going to go with our 14 versus three matchup here. The three seed Raiders of the Lost Ark, the 14 seed Lady Hawk. Mike, I believe we're starting with you. So to give you an idea of my age, Lady Hawk is one of those movies that I remember watching. During those last week of elementary school before summer, and they would they just like the teachers like, you know what we're fucking done with teaching. We're just going to wheel on the TV and put on a movie. And that's that is my memory of Lady Hawk. And I remember enjoying it fairly well. I remember thinking Michelle Pfeiffer was was beautiful. I remember thinking Matthew Broderick like, it's a good guy, you know. And I really genuinely meant to go back and rewatch it as an adult. Because I felt like, okay, maybe I would get something else out of it or whatever. But look, I took a look at this matchup and I thought to myself, you know what? I really value my friendship with Chris Legore. And if I voted for against Raiders of the Lost Ark in the first round, he would take possession of my testicles. And since those already belong to my wife, that would put her in danger. And we really just can't have that. I'm sorry. Chris, you're my goddamn partner. And Raiders of the Lost Ark is getting my vote. It is not even close. I like how your justification is because Chris likes the movie, not because the movie's amazing. All right, it's that too. I said it's not even close. Raiders is up one nail going to Asha. Everything within me, being a person without testicles, would like to vote for Lady Hawk right now. But I just can't, not even for the joke. Raiders of the Lost Ark. Raiders of the Lost Ark, it is. Raiders picks up its second vote. The third vote goes to me. And we, I don't know if we had this conversation on the air off, but it's musical time. No one fights like Gaston. No douses, lights like Gaston in a wrestling match. No one fights like Gaston. All those are words you can't say about Matthew freaking Broderick. Three place Gaston and Lady Hawk for those who didn't see the movie. Sorry. Wow. I forgot his picture's name. And that's the nicest thing I can say about Lady Hawk. Raiders, come on. Jen going to you. Do we have a sweep? Well, no, actually it wouldn't be a sweep because Turner has a chance to mess it all up, but Jen, we're going to you anyway. So the thing is I do have balls. They're just so big that I need to wear them on my chest. Nice. Today I learned I have four balls. Got it. No, you have two of your wife has the other two. Let's be fair. So yeah, so this is another one that I demand reparations on watching Lady Hawk. I don't even want to go into it because I am traumatized. Like I was literally what I'm like, no, no, no, and I love Matthew logic and Michelle Pfeiffer. No, I already knew it's kind of looking at the matchup without even having seen Lady Hawk. I knew it was going to be Raiders of lost arc because it's Raiders, you know what I'm saying? But I wanted to give a fair chance. I equal opportunity. Trauma recipient. And yeah, no, it's definitely Raiders. Thank you. I hate you. It's amazing. I'll be women in my life. We'll say thank you and I hate you. Turner, do we have the sweep? No, no, I'm fucking kidding. Is it because of the rolling ball of death in the beginning scene that there's so much talk about balls right now? Is that maybe? Is that what it become to? Okay. Now, here is a list of 80s movies that I wish had rather been in the spot that Lady Hawk occupies. American Ninja starring Michael Dutikoff, Rima Williams, the adventure begins starring the venerable Fred Ward, and Jim Cotta starring Olympic gold medalist Kurt Thomas. All of them better films than Lady Hawk. Lady Hawk made me want to arc of the covenant myself. Well, there you go. By the way, this is tremors, Fred Ward, right? May he rest in peace? Indeed. Damn good actor. All right. Yes. Raiders is moving on to the the speed 16 or the elite eight. Wow, I lost track of the bracket. We are moving on to our last pick of the evening. This is going to be the six seed quest for fire or the 11 seed big trouble in little China. Asha kick us off. Okay. Well, this is another one of the picks where I had seen one of the movies when I was younger and hadn't seen the other one, but I went ahead and watched. Well, I decided to rewatch big trouble in little China because you always have this kind of reluctance when it's movies like this because you just wonder how much stereo typing can we put into one movie. And I will say it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I think, you know, it was bad. Don't get me wrong, but I was expecting way worse just because it was an 80s movie. And speaking of reparations, time bandits, um, or no quest for fire. Sorry, quest for fire. I was like, you voted quest for fire started fast forwarding and then got to some wolves eating people and I'm like, nope, best for it a little more. Nope. Yep. No, I'm going to go with big trouble in little China. Big trouble little China's picked up its first vote. Next pick goes to me. Yeah. When you retired saying that, I'm like, yeah, that movie has not aged well. But I love big trouble in little China. It's it's got its issues. It's definitely a product of the time that would be drastically different today, but still love that movie. Same. The other thing that's kind of making my pick here is going to Wikipedia and just typing quest for fire. And you know what comes up before the movie quest for fire? A 2023 studio album by a band called Skrillex. That shows you know, though a popularity, this movie is Skrillex is a DJ. Okay. I just want to make sure. Thank you. Still don't care. Still don't care. Now I'm the dubstep apologist. That's right. I just I understand why quest for fire is as high as it is from a critic standpoint. I appreciate what it has to say. I have a lot a lot a lot more fun with big trouble in little China. It's getting my vote. Jen, we're going to you. All right. So I think it was Amazon that I pulled up quest for fire on because I was like, I haven't seen this. It's got Ron Perlman in it. And it's during kind of the same age as Beauty and the Beast. And I enjoyed him and Beauty and the Beast back in the day. If any of you guys remember that TV show, it was a TV show. Yeah. And so I started watching and the first thing I noticed was like, I've seen a lot of 80s movies, right? So I know the quality, the standard, basically. What the flip? Like it was just there was no quality. Like it was super fuzzy. Like you couldn't, there was no clarity in the film, like at all. That was like the first thing I noticed. I'm like, this is not anything like any of the other 80s movies I have seen. Like, because you don't expect, you know, 1080p, whatever the hell quality bullshit is, but you don't expect something quite that bad. So I was like, it seemed like a VHS tape that had been through a few floods and was not repaired properly. Because I've seen those, I've been through a few floods. But I started watching and then I realized, oh, I'm going to look this up. Why aren't like, it's a made up language. It's like there is no language. It's literally, I don't even know what it was. I got like 10, 15 minutes into it. And I'm like, okay, I can't because it big trouble. China is one of those movies. And again, like Chris said, it's a product of the times. Every time we do any of these that, you know, involved with movies that are from ages past, they're a product of their time. Like, there's nothing you can do to change that it is what it is. But I enjoy big trouble little China. Like, there are problematic areas and stuff like that. But for the most, it's a very fun movie. I love Kurt Russell. I mean, if I was ever in a relationship again, I'd want it to be like Kurt Russell and Goldie Han never get married. Just tolerate each other for 50 years. You know, but I wish I'd like, back in the day, I was like, Oh man, I want to wear that red outfit that she wears with like the gold finger things, you know, when she's all dialed up. And then I'm like, well, I'm not Asian, so I really can't do that. But it's so pretty, you know, and like, it just has all these little, yeah, no, it's so much fun. And I'd watch it again if we're on TV. But question for fire, I still don't understand what the hell was supposed to be happening in it. So yeah, big trouble. Okay, I'm sorry. You made it through 15 minutes of quest for fire and only five minutes of beast master. I was really like, I was researching while it was playing and I'm like, wait, am I missing? Oh, okay. It's supposed to be subtitles. I'm so confused. So confused. Well, that is another vote for big trouble in little China. Let's go over to Turner. Sure. You really want to do that? You're next to my Hollywood Square. So yeah, we have to, yeah, he folks for quest to block Turner to block quest quest for fire quest for my fucking time back. quest for fire. Yeah, I'm going to quest for fire so I can burn the fucking print. Listen, one of these movies, I went back to the theater to watch last year and it was not fucking quest for fire. I'll tell you that much. Big trouble in little China. Yes, you cannot make that movie today canceled, canceled, canceled. But it might be my second favorite John Carpenter movie after the thing. It's it is absolutely a product of the time. A lot of God damn it, it makes me so happy. It was fun. Such a such a crush on Kim Cottrell as a young kid, Gracie, the green eyed girl, like Kurt Russell was everything I wanted in an action hero and probably still is to this day if we're being honest with ourselves. But yeah, like, no, big trouble in a little time. Come on. I just want to point out all the movies that you are not acknowledging by saying that big trouble in your little China is your second favorite John Carpenter movie. Sure. If there's a long list there that you were just leaving by the wayside, including his most popular. Never heard of it. He said what he said. All right, Mike, take us home. So quest for fire. I was interesting movie, I suppose. I think like I was, I mean, the fidelity didn't no longer holds up because it is an 80s movie, but it was beautifully shot. It had very interesting cinematography. It kind of felt like a documentary you'd watch at school about caveman times only with a lot more violence and nudity. But like ultimately it was like, sorry, it was like, it was like, the whole point was, okay, yes, nature is dangerous. We get it. I will say that the quest for fire, even though I knew it was coming, I started cackling, laughing my ass off when the guy dowses the fire in the water at the very end. I'm like, I totally saw that coming, but it was just so funny what had actually happened. But no, we got this one, right? Look, everyone, everyone said a big trouble in little China's product of its time. But hey, think about the 80s. Like even then, you know, a stereotype, cultural stereotypes aside, they had the boldness to basically make a movie filled with a bunch of Chinese people. And the white dude was this completely inept guy who's just completely flying by on luck. The entire movie, he is purportedly the lead, but he portrayed as the lead, but he's the sidekick the entire time. And it is a movie that is just a fun movie to watch. So it gets the sweep. And I do also want to say I, as a person who is married to someone with green eyes, I do kind of understand where Lopez was coming from. Just going to say that. Well, we know what a cold place on mics can be listening to, right? Wow, that's a hell of a pull. Nice. And with that, we have our elite eight. In the next recording for the beginning of it, we're going to have back to the future against never ending story. Indiana Jones and last crusade up against time bandits. The princess bride against romancing the stone. Raiders of the lost arc versus big trouble in little China. Can we get a DeLorean with a flux capacitor and just skip forward to after we've made some of those choices? No, because if I go forward and I find out some of the choices I made, I will have major regret. I'm going to regret these next I got guys I'm going to struggle here in the next recording. It's going to be fine. Listen, if you enjoy the content that we bring you, you like listening to us, you want to support us, you can be like, ah, should be like Turner here. Head on over to patreon.com/ptbb. That's your home for all the bonus content from the PT network, but it also the money that we get there goes right back into making these shows better. So we can say now that 40ish percent of our editing is now handled by an editor because of our supporters. Hashtag it JN editor. Hashtag it JN editor. I'll take it. She deserves it. Yes. But we are looking to up that new tiers are loaded right now. So if you're if you're someone who's like, oh, you know, I got it on the old tier, let me see what they have. There's new tiers out there right now, you can go check out with different kind of content that goes along with each individual tier. But you know what? You've heard enough from me tonight. For the boozy Bracatology podcast, I have been Chris. I've been Turner. I've been Mike. Did Nasha. I've been Jen. Yeah, she's still Jen. All right. We'll see you next week until then. Have a good one. [Music] [BLANK_AUDIO]
Well, the moment has finally arrived here at Boozy Bracketology: for the next two weeks, we'll be determining the winner of the Adventure portion of our 80s Movie Mega Bracket. This will be the last mini-bracket before the final bracket is settled, and we saved it for last due to the potential for severe heartbreak in making some of these choices. For the Sweet 16, Chris plays a dual role as both host and panelist while Turner, Mike, Asha, and Jenn round things out. This is a packed episode: it's got laughter, it's got film-based childhood trauma, it's got women lusting over men in loincloths, it's got some obligatory ripping on Eric Stoltz, and it's got at least one panelist getting cut off by their significant other. You won't want to miss this one!
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